SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!

>>2717547
Exactly my first thought.

More liek LICH NOH

Please do not take these soul.

>>2717554
maybe as an omake. I'm only writing the buildup before I start to post it, so what actually happens is still up in the air.

Why can't she just be a normal little girl, and not some ghost/construct/apparition/shapeshifter/whatever.

>>2717591
This is brought up in what I've already written.

>>2717547
Please tell me this is it.

This isn't 40k, so we don't need a BAD END in all our writings...

>He was rather glad they'd taught her nonverbal responses, when even the best magic they could buy couldn't teach her new words.
>when even the best magic they could buy couldn't teach her new words.

;_;

>>2717973
Don't worry. This is DnD. there's ALWAYS a solution.
>>2717965
You'll have to be here to see, won't you?

>>2718045
I'm here, but I don't see any more Noh writefaggotry.
>>2717973
Relax, they could just use one hell of a carefully worded Wish to give her back her speech, if worst came to worst.

But I'm pretty sure there exists several spells besides that one and miracle to give her the ability of speech.

>>2718135
As I said in the OP, at 7 Eastern US time, I'm posting it.

Though I could post another teaser at noon, if you'd like?

>>2718151
That would be appreciated, yes.
Also, because I probably won't be able to stay awake for so long, due to different timezones.

That being the case, anyone mind posting this guys story in 1d4chan?

>>2718212
Eh, what the hell. I'll skip the noon post and do it now:

Thomas Lightfoot, the Realm's Rogue, was having far better success with his underworld contacts.

"So this will work, garunteed, as long as the target knows what it does?"

The 'street rat' he was chatting with was far from it, but they both knew to keep up appearances. In truth he was a Mercane, an interplanar merchant that always had whatever you needed. "Oh, yes sir! I bet my savings on this working exactly as advertized. Do you need anything else?"

"No, this will do nicely..." The mercane took a step back, seeing the look on Thomas' face.

A few seconds later, Thomas walked out of the alley alone, whistling to himself and running his fingers over his new prize. Behind him, under a pile of trash, layed the Mercane.

>>2718223
B-birthday present for Noh, right?
Right?!

Where the fuck where did this Lichlord stuff come from

>>2718252
Not the OP, but I was reading the thread earlier today:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/epic/threads/noh.htm#667740

All through the Outer Planes, favors were being called in. Something momentous was going to happen soon, and no-one wanted to be caught unprepared. Asmodeus, as was his habit, paced circles around his dark throne while he thought.

"I can't afford to bungle this. It would simultaneously make the girl mine, turn the tide of the Blood War thanks to favors gained, and force those damned Good-gods to admit my power. Ranbar! Go fetch me..."

Pelor was in a panic. He'd known that it was the right thing to place that thing in Asmodeus' care at the time, but he'd had no clue how much power it would give him. He called for a meeting of the Gods; they HAD to get it back before tonight!

>>2718683
More teases?
Great!

Hope this is something to give to Noh!

>>2718881
Oh, in a manner of speaking. She will definately enjoy this item.

Noh Noh, Noh Noh, Ni Hao Noh.....

>>2719077
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...

>>2718937
Don't give this a bad end, writefag.

>>2719117

You can never unhear it :D

>>2719123
Funniest thing. whenever you get something stuck in your head, go listen to 'walk like an egyptian'. clears it right up.

>>2719119
If there were a way to do spoiler-text on /tg/ I'd tell you what each of them was planning.

Okay, /tg/, I'v ehit a stumbling block in my planning for this. I need something approximately human-sized that's universally reviled by /tg/. Something that you would have no qualms about seeing slain in cold blood. whatever it is, it's getting into the story.

Anything?
abaddon the fail

If not that, how about flare, human-sized?

Or female space marines?

>>2719457
Anything at all. Does Flare have a human form? I can't imagine her creator not making a horribly pretty human body for her.

>>2719465
I'm not going to check for it.

Anyway, just shrink her down, by some mary sue shit or something.
That'll work just as well as regular, and /tg/ won't mind you taking some steps like this to beat the shit out of her.

Also, just warn about spoilers with a big text, put some distance between that and the spoiler and you can post what you want.
If no one wants to see it, they can chose not to.

Also, I want to see what she is getting.
Please, writefag?

bump

>>2719510
awesome. Flare it is.

SPOILER SPACE
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The rogue is getting her an Amulet of Telepathy.
Asmodeus knows where her father's soul lies.
SPOILER SPACE
SPOILER SPACE
SPOILER SPACE
SPOILER SPACE
SPOILER SPACE
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SPOILER SPACE

Flare is already only five feet long. Perfect.

Brightsword Darkbane, Champion of Pelor and Light of the Sun, held his blade to the corrupt merchant's throat. While he lived, such injustice would not stand.

"What do you mean you're out of Elven Sweet Bread?!" He demanded. "Do you have any idea how important today is?"

The merchant made an open-palm gesture, knees knocking together. "I can have some for you, maybe, next week if I hurry. Elves don't rush, sir, I'm sorry."

"Fine, maybe across the way..." Lightbringer, the sword that had retaken an entire Circle of the Hells, was sheathed again, and the great paladin started out.

"Can I ask you what this is for, sir? Just simple curiosity, you understand."

"It's XX XXXXXXXX'X XXXXXXX." was all the reply he got, and then the merchant was alone again.

HA HA SPOILER-FREE.

No.

For fuck's sake.

>>2719582
please do not sage these threads.

A teaser? FOR FUCKING FAN FICTION? How retarded can you get?

>>2719588
>>2719585
>>2719582
this thread has been going since 7:00 this morning, and you're the first to take issue with it.

>>2719588
I was just saging because it was more retarded fanfiction, but you've got a point that that's a turd cherry on top.

>>2719593
what, then, is the sort of content you think /tg/ should have more of?

>>2719591
I guess there are retards up at 7:00?
>>2719593
Yeah, I don't know what to say- it's just this moment where you have to cock your head and say, "REALLY?"

>>2719595
PROBABLY the kind of people that say "HERE'S A TEASER ROFL" to just fuck right off back to fanfiction.net.

You are writing a shitty story that could only exist on the internet.

You are not a literary deity, come to bring to the savages tales of shimmering beauty.

Fuck off.

>>2719610
Hi mister :3
Do you have icecream? :3

>>2719610
I know I'm not some shining beacon of salvation for /tg/. I'm just another anon, trying to do something interesting.

I'm not asking what it should have less of. I'm asking what it should have more of.

>>2719624
Okay-

How about some of those homebrew ideas? You know, unique ideas that can be fun instead of jerking your cock on a .txt and uploading it to 4chan? Or maybe you can start discussions about lesser known games (If you hadn't crawled here from the Wizards of the Coast forum, you might have heard of a few) instead of WARHAMS AND DEE AND DEE ALL THE TIME.

Fuck, go to your RPG book of choice, find the stupidest fucking picture within it, and upload it to /tg/ then go wild with photoshop on it. I hate to say this, but God damn I wish image macros would make a fucking come back. Photoshop bullshit would be infinitely better than THIS drivel.

>>2719624
Relax, its just a samefag who doesn't like writefags.
No need to bother with him/it.

>>2719582
>>2719586
>>2719588
>>2719591
>>2719593
>>2719595
>>2719610
>>2719624
I'm imagining this whole thing going on over tea and crumpets.

It's hilarious.

Oh God damn it this is going to go on to a fucking meta-discussion isn't it.

>>2719629
I tried that once. It got saged for 'homebrew bullshit circlejerk' and I let it die, since it was obvious it wasn't welcome here.

>>2719640
It must have been a terrible God damn idea then- allow me to guess, a Naruto homebrew?

I think really you should look back at your history and think carefully, "Do I have a mote of creative talent? Or is my only hope to play on retarded cliches pulled straight out of animes?"

>>2719636
THAT'S RIGHT PAL

ARE YOU WITH ME?

>>2719644
A remake of the classic DnD 3.5 cosmology with different backstories fo the races, actually. I know I have no talent at statting, so I kept the stats they'd have at the end the same. Among other things, Drow were originally just normal elves that spent too long studying/manipulating the Negative Energy Plane.

It got even more sages than this has, and I'm accounting for you saging at least once more while I type this.

>>2719648
No. I'm going to BED.

>>2719640
I don't believe you. The only homebrews I've seen flat out rejected is #3256464357345345 of "AMERICA SPLITS UP INTO COMPARTMENTALIZED FACTIONS THAT NEATLY FIT STEREOTYPES AND WARS, LOL GUYS"

Who here likes icecream? :3
I have some icecream to share :3

>#3256464357345345 of "AMERICA SPLITS UP INTO COMPARTMENTALIZED FACTIONS

fuck I lol'd

>>2719652
sleep well, sagefag.

Well, that was an interesting romp through Troll Town. anyone else have any problems with this so far?

>>2719650
I thought that actually had a great deal of work put into it- my memory's fuzzy. I don't stick around /tg/ that much anymore.

But yeah, you can expect a lack of interest when you say "Let's just redo DnD's setting," and you'll get rage from those that consider 3.5 to be the culmination of all that is good in life.

IF I WERE YOU, and I felt like trying that again, just get rid of the mention of 3.5 DnD- and just write out "Generic fantasy rework" and drop mentions of the negative planes and such. Hopefully that'll elude DnDfags and will draw people interested in homebrewing.

But don't do it right now, wait a day or two. As a long time idiot on /tg/, I can guarantee someone will be following this thread and will go "HA U CANT FOOL ME" and will sage you.

Whatever. This thread's still dumb.

>>2719652
FINE. GIVE INTO THE LITTLE DEATH.

>>2719675
>I don't stick around /tg/ that much anymore.
Awesome!

>>2719675
you really think so? I was just writing it as it came to mind. Anyroad, while I appreciate your persistence, I also don't want to leave others, who were interested in it as poor as it might be, hanging. I'll be posting it when I said I would, but as you've been civil throughout, I'll not do any more teasers.

Noh is awesome, ignore the blasphemous fools.

We demand MOAR.

>>2719693
Fine, whatever, fuck you.

>>2719721
I was doing the teasers as a favor. it's clearly unwelcome, therefore I'll just skip to the main event when I start posting at 7.

>>2719731
Any reason it can't be posted earlier?
I really want to see it before I have to sleep...

>>2719812
Because right now I'm multitasking between /tg/ and gaming via IRC. that should be over by 7. If it's a bit late, you know why.

Anyone got a picture of delicious Pregnant Noh getting brutally raped, or has TG grown morals since last I saw it???????

>>2719953
...what?

>>2719953
Dude, wrong thread.

Fuck, I'm getting tired already. goddamn sleep-needs.

Anyway, I'll start it early.

Everything was in readiness. The call had gone out through the Realms, and it had been answered several times over. The ones that sent it out knew what sort of a group they were assembling, but it was the only way to make this work.

Noh didn't know what was going on, just that one of her fathers had taken her hand and the world had gone away. Any attempt to find out what was going on brought 'ssh'-ing, which reminded her somehow of something...far back. Before the cave, maybe? She entered a new room, and felt the cold, bony hand on her shoulder, somehow still paternal.

Brightsword Darkbane was a patient man. He tried very carefully to remember this, at the sixth bakery in town. "So...you're saying..."

"Yes, sir. The last of our Elven Sweet Bread got mice-nibbled, and since there's been no call for it, we haven't replaced it."

"THERE'S CALL NOW, DAMMIT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TODAY IS?!" His hand twitched for his sword, and only his oaths to the church and to his god saved the bakery that day.

"S-Sir, I can't help you! It doesn't matter what you do to me, it just isn't here!"

"Dammit! There has to be someone in this city willing to sell it! I CAN'T let her down!"

"..."

Thomas walked along again, whistling and flipping his new treasure in the air, when something happened that made even him stop and take notice. One of the Celestial Host appeared before him in a brilliant corona of light, its mere presence enough to sent the common folk to their knees.

"Oh, hey Cevis."

"Thomas, I've told you not to be so informal. I come before you today to give you a proposal."

"What's that?" Wasn't every day Heaven came to you, after all. Best to at least hear them out.

"At the...event you have planned, Asmodeus will appear. He's going to make a very tempting offer to your young charge. If you can get her to say no to it-"

"Not that hard."

"Har har. If you can get her to REJECT it, I will garuntee both your soul and hers go to Heaven and skip the petitioner phase of development. I don't expect you to say yes right now, but..."

"Got 'ya. I'll see what I can do."

Asmodeus paced down his domain, carefully allowing every soul that saw him just enough hope to make his walk double as a tasty treat. Among the souls, he found the one in particular he needed, ignoring the rotten hands of the greedy grasping to take one last coin. "You." He said, pulling it from the eternal muck. "You may give your daughter one last service."

finally!
Its here!

>>2721243
Or is it?!

Yeah, and I'm falling asleep where I sit, but I'll try to make this worth staying up for. sorry if it sucks.

Noh was indicated to sit down on something, and there were a few shuffling sounds around her and the muffled pop of dozens of teleports. Suddenly, sight was returned to her, and she saw that she was sitting at a table in their dining room, looking out at her fathers and everyone who she'd helped save. "SURPRISE!" Went out the cry, then in perfect sync "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear noh! Happy birthday to you!" A particularly dramatic Satyr stepped forward. "And many moooooooore!"

>>2721298
no but seriously, will there be more?

Or is this it for today?

Noh looked around, shocked, not sure what to say or do, at all the faces. There was the leader of the Water Genasi tribe they'd saved! And here, the djinn they had freed, in sync with each other as always. A moment's pause, and the table, previously bare, filled up with all sorts of presents in front of you. "Happy birthday! It's been a full year since we found you in that cave, and woke you back up. We'll let you choose whose present to open first!"

And indeed, /tg/. Whose present does she open first?

>>2721323
The one that menaces with spikes of blood.

>>2721323
OPTIONS:

Brightblade, a particularly tall, thin box.
Thomas, a small, compact box.
Kharazon, a thin, more decorative box.
The Druids of the (no-longer-)Fell Woods: A large box, very bulky.
The Djinn of the Brass City: a pair of small boxes.
OTHER: Make up your own suggestion, but make sure it's plausible.

front page!

A box from the angels of the Upper Planes.
Come on, Noh is so damn adorable, they HAD to get her one.
...if they didn't, I know one evil magical user/paternal figure of Noh that will be very, very, VERY upset.

also, if you get tired just get some sleep and post the story in 1d4chan later on, alright?

There is already a Noh thread there, so no need to create a new one.

And it'll be easier to keep track of than this.

>>2721389
Noh looked around, and saw the ambassador from the Heavens, when they had beseeched them for aid against the Fell Beast Densador, trying to hide himself. "Please, do not take these items!" She demanded, pointing at him, and the beautifully wrapped but modest box in front of him.

"Noh, maybe you should choose someone else fi-"

"Items!" She demanded, and Brightblade sighed, heading down the table and picking up the gift, then giving it to her. She set into it with the fervor only a greedy child can, and found under the paper a copy of 'prayers for the mute' as penned by one Homer E. Oneous.

"The bosses insisted! I wanted to get her a necklace." It's a rare thing, seeing an angel pouting, but he was.

>>2721422
Right.
I'm now going to make an Evil character intent on attacking and defeating the Upper Planes, no matter what.
I don't care if its a suicide run.

Give Noh her necklace!

Noh is one of the only things that warms this Anon's cold heart.

The Satyrs laughed, sparking a ripple that went around the table at the poor Hound Archon's expense. "I mean it. it was going to always glow." He muttered. "Besides, at least she opened mine." "Please!" Noh pointed at another box, this one held by a halfling princeling who had tried to woo her and only been drawn up into the world-shattering event sher parents always stayed involved in.

"Well, nothin' for it but hopin'!" the halfling laughed weakly, pushing the box down the table at her, passed along by a multitude of hands. This time, she opened the box to find tissue paper, and carefully pressed it aside to find a beautifully tailored dress, at her size, with a pattern of white clouds on its blue material. "It'll make 'ya float, so you can be on eye level with everybody else! We use them in negotiations sometimes. You know, to get a leg up?" He waited for laughter, that didn't come, as nobody else thought it was funny and Noh was admiring the material.

It was when Noh was reaching for her third present, the one held by the satyrs, that things became interesting. All of the lights dimmed,flickering for just a second, and then standing at the foot of the table was a guest that nobody invited: Asmodeus, Lord of the Ninth and ruler of the Hells. Everyone was instantly ready for an attack, but he stayed still, letting them realize that he was unarmed and not trying to be a threat. "Noh...oh, sweet abberation of fate, glorious little girl whose speech has been shattered...I come offering you a proposal."

That was when they realized, as he had intended, that Asmodeus wasn't alone. "A certain soul wound up in my posession...you might recognize him. I rather hope that you do." An old man stared vacantly into the distance, floating in the manner of ghosts, next to the Hell-Lord. "I'm willing to offer you his soul back, Noh, and a return of all of your speech, if no-one here ever attacks my home again. What do you say?"

Well, /tg/? What do YOU think she should say to this? Agree? Or disagree?

>>no-one here

Can we get a basic list of the people who wouldn''t be hellraiding any more?

Also, I vote for rejecting the offer. Noh loses something vital to her if you give her speech back.

Noh shouldn't do that!
She is far too sweet to deal with Hell in any shape or form.

Please, just give her back her speech some other way!

Like, for example, HAVING HEAVEN DO SOMETHING!

Goddamn cheap BASTARDS.

Give Noh her chance to speak before Asmo can!

>>2721545
Three VERY high level adventurers. Leaders of small nations, and a few rather large ones. Elementals. She doesn't realize it yet, but a dragon or two that're in human form.

>>2721545
their levels as well, please, because if there is an epic wizard here I say they FORCE Hell to give Noh her speech back, if she wanted.

>>2721528
"No."

>>2721559
>>Please, just give her back her speech some other way!

"No!"

>>2721562
how large nations?
Also, how powerful elementals?

Finally, how old dragons?

>>2721565
>>2721579
You guys suck. Let estimates be estimates, suspension of disbelief is easier that way.

does this mean all the layers of Hell, or just the lowest one, where Asmodeus actually lives?

>>2721592
Fine, fine.
Geeze...

>>2721602
As long as he doesn't specify, this could allow them to still attack 8 out of 9 layers.
Pretty good deal, if you ask me.

>>2721579
I've said all I'm going to, but if the adventurers aren't Epic level, they almost are.
>>2721578
>>2721576
>>2721559
The people have spoken! And Heaven did do something, as you're about to see.

"Well? What do you say? Your father, and your speech, for my safety..."

Thomas realized precisely what was going on, as he looked over everyone who was assembled. Noh had wanted nothing more, for months, than to be able to talk again. He knew that if something didn't happen, she would accept that offer, and doom everyone there. Except...

"Noh...before you answer him, why don't you open this?" He handed her his present, smiling paternally, and Asmodeus' expression soured. It grew even worse when the box was opened and a golden medalion carefully carved in her likeness was revealed, its magic obvious to all. "Put it on!"

She did, curious, and he whispered something into her ear. Suddenly, clearly, in the mind of everyone there came the words <Like this, Daddy?>

"Yes, Noh. Just like that."

"Please, do not take these items!" She was overjoyed at what she'd just gotten, pulling the roguish man into a hug

>>2721610
It all depends on how you define "home." Who's to say it's not a cottage on some pleasant tropical island?

>>2721622
daww...
Reminds me of the old Noh thread...

I miss those days.

>>2721528


Does she have a choice? All she can say is "No"

>>2721622
This was a worthy result.

>>2721636
She could nod.

Once Thomas managed to extricate himself, the group turned as one to face Asmodeus, who was looking furious and vengeful. The Ruler of the Hells raised his finger, as though to curse Noh, and...

<GO AWAY!> The shout echoed through everyone's mind, even some of those that weren't even in the room, and froze him in place for a moment.

"YOU dare order ME, the great..."

<I SAID GO AWAY! You're mean!>

"The great...Asmodeus..."

"I'd suggest doing what she says." responded Heaven's messenger, leaning on him with a sizzling sound and the smell of burnt ozone. "I don't think you can take all of us."

"FINE! I won't forget this, child!" And he, and her father's soul, dipped back through the floor and to their home. All that was left was a promise. "I shall see every one of you PERSONALLY flayed!"

F5'ing furiously and dawww'ing every time.

Holy shit, how powerful is this girl?
She can stop freaking asmodeus in his tracks!

Is she an Overgoddess of some sort, at this point?

"Well, that was an interesting diversion." said the lich-lord to Noh's right, trying to get things jovial again. "Why don't you open mine next?"

"Please do not take these items?"

"The amulet, Noh."

<Oh, right, sorry. I forgot. What is it, Daddy?"

"Well, open it and find out!"

She promptly did, to find a swirling vortex of magic, seeming to be a gate to another world. Confused, she looked back, seeing her adopted father nod, and reached into it. From it came...well...Flare, seeming to have been caught asleep and tied up by animate ropes that spewed from the vortex a moment later, left hanging from a convenient hook on the cieling. It was rather obvious who had encountered her before, as every single one of them had looks of disgust. This changed to malicious joy when one word was said:

"Pinata."

And I'm going to take a ten minute break. Have fun beating the shit out of Flare!

>>2721727
That might be a good reason why Asmo doesn't want to have them come close to Hell.

Those things can solo whole Pantheons without even noticing it.

>>2721727
It's less that she stopped him, and more if he didn't let himself be stopped he'd have to kill everyone there, and he wasn't sure he could afford to do that.

>>2721730
Goddamn, I justed :awesome:'d like a motherfucker

>>2721756
Dammit.
So, Noh isn't an Overpower then?

>>2721768
I didn't say that, just that if she is he doesn't know about it.

alright, back, and put my trip on for the occasion. Before I continue, though, should I keep adding in branches where you guys choose the outcome, or not?

>>2721778
Alright.
But if she is, you have to admit that the PCs are going to have a wonderful afterlife.
Nothing beats a comfortable eternity than raising an Overpower.

>>2721814
Either way is fine with me, personally.

>>2721814
let us chose, please.
It feels nicer when we can let Noh have a better time...

okay, so. once more into the breech of first-time writefaggotry.

Once everyone was finished beating up the 'innocent' dragon, they reassembled at the table, a few in different positions and a few in the same. Noh, of course,w as at the head of the table, and pointed to a dragon-in-human-guise. <You!>

"My lady honors me, as the flowers honor the sun's light with their beauty. I fear that my gift is not so tangible as the others', but I assure you that you will enjoy it, should you try it out to any length."

Swords were drawn as a gold-and-blue light seemed to suffuse the beautiful man, and more so when the golden portion of that light shot forward into Noh and she clutched at her head. "No! "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER?!"

"Relax, young one." said the woman who looked no later than her teens to the man who was visibly pushing forty. "She will be fine. I've granted her the ability to use magic, if she cares to learn it, without the verbal incantations.

"N...no?" Noh seemed to come to, as though waking up from a deep sleep, as the light finally vanished. <What just happened to me?>

"It's fine, dear. It was just someone acting foolish. We'll explain it later.

Goddammit, This is making me go daaawwww...

Especially the last spoken lone of Noh.

"Okay, Noh, last present you're opening tonight. Some of us have to go and save the world tommorrow, and we need our sleep, and we still have to have th cake!" At the mention of cake, the Paladin cringed and shook his head a little, looking desperate to not admit his failure.

"Please, do not take THESE items!" She said, pointing to...

Your choice, /tg/. last present.

The druids, please.
I really want to see that one!

>>2721936

A magical flower, which doesn't need water and will never die, which she can wear in her hair.

Oh GAWD. Now all the magical fairy princes jump forth to pour all their gifts on Mary Sue so that she may have all the power she ever wants to go prancing with unicorns and tell the Great Powers of Evil to ef themselves

Thanks for ruining Noh.

>>2721971
Not quite. You'll see, by the end.

Also, I'll give another five minutes for people to choose.

>>2721976
A magical time vortex back to when /tg/ didn't suck and people knew that stories ended, not became 13 year old girl fantasies

Any truly great power of evil is, through one or more steps, already "effing themselves".

>>2721971

>to ef themselves

It's all right, this is 4chan. You're allowed to swear here.

>>2721985
Dude, just give it up.
This guy doesn't seem to give a fuck about sagefags, as you must have noticed in this thread.

>>2721985
We already had a sagefag come by earlier, thanks. besides, I've already started telling this story, and it'd be horribly discourteous of me to not finish it.

>>2721949
...the druids, who snickered among themselves and pushed the box down the table. When it got to Noh, she tore into it with oblivion, finding a simple wooden box under the paper, with a hinged door on the top. She opened it, looked within, and immediately closed it with a deep blush. "No?!"

"For when you get a little older. I'm sure your parents will understand." The two druids there, a man and a woman, laughed among themselves while everyone else shared uneasy glances. "Right!" The rasping voice of the lichlord came. "Cake. and drinks. Sir Darkbane, you managed to find the sweetbread cake for her?"

Sir Brightsword Darkbane dipped his head in shame. "I tried. Everywhere in town was sold out, it seemed, and I didn't have time to check anywhere else..."

>>2721992
Don't do it! He's trying to trick you into getting banned!

>>2721997
I take it as a point of pride that I had such a civil discussion with a /tg/ sagefag earlier, actually.

Also, is anyone else having trouble posting lately? I'll send something in, and firefox will load bin.4chan.org as a blank page and not submit it.

>>2722014
It was hilarious, yes.

And I'm having the same problem.
Some of the comments I posted for this topic simply didn't show up.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room at that, with even the usually-cheerful satyr-druids and the halfling prince being unable to find anything to say. There was no cake. how could the party move on without cake?

Fortunately, such a large group wasn't without its talents.

"I suppose I could summon some, if nobody else can." Said the dragon-woman from before, earning surprised looks and murmurs.

"Isn't this awfully convenient?" whispered Thomas.

"Isn't that how mages always are?" whispered Brightsword, relieved. "Certainly, I see no problem with summoned cake, as long as it tastes the same. Summon away!"

A wave of her hand and a whisper of power, and a large cake appeared in the center of the table, pushing presents aside and leaving the gift-givers scrambling to grab them. Everyone stared in admiration for a moment...

and then from the center of the cake popped a rather dashing warforged...door? "I just got back from a stint in a hallway, so I'm sorry if my jokes are a bit RUSTY!"

"ROOD!"

>>2722087
> rood

Ohgod what the fuck.

Okay, I seriously need sleep soon, so I'm going to pull this forward a bit.

Everyone enjoyed the party from there - well, once Rood was convinced to leave. He was last seen in the posession of one of Thomas' skeleton keys.

The less said there the better.

but over time, the party dwindled, as a good party always does, everyone taking their own route home either magical or non. After the party was done, only the parents and Noh were left, as well as all of her presents. "You know, it's really too bad."

<What's that, Daddy?>

"We're going to have to sell a lot of this to afford sieging hell and getting your father back. But you can finally have a real life, like a normal girl."

<D-Daddies?> Noh looked around, between the three smiling faces, sniffling a little. <But...I don't want to lose you!>

"We'll still be here, Noh! You just deserve to have some real family."

"Besides." Kharazon Malakath grinned, a gaunt thing. "What sort of adventurers go around endangering a young girl every day? People might start thinking we were Evil!"

"Th...Thank you for not taking these items."

Everyone but Noh looked shocked as she hugged them, crying a little.

THE END

>>2722087
Oh god, it's Rood.

>>2722177
I also have two pictures commissioned from friends! I was going to sprinkle these around the story, but I forgot.

I d'awwwwed.

Good story, Lover.

>>2722195
And number two! Those eyes still look freaky, but hey, what do you want for free?

>>2722196
That's what I was here for.

Well, that and getting myself sleeping right again.

>>2722246
speaking of which, if anyone wants to archive this or wiki it or whateverthehell, do it. I'm not going to.

>>2722214

Fixed.

i'll probably do it some time later, in a week or so.

*sniff*

They grow up so fast.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2717532/

Up on suptg

>>2721907
You know, if you deleted this post, you'd really improve the story. This bit is the only real bit of suck.