Karl once again strode forth, to be the voice of his tribe.

"What is it, Giant Jonathan?"

"Whaaaat do you think you were fucking doing."

He rubbed his chin, fingers getting caught in his impressive, yet tangled beard once or twice.

"We were giving praise to Slaanesh, that is all."

"But you guys are Khornate, doesn't he hate Slaanesh?"

He pulled something from his beard, and threw it away.

"We only devote most of our energy to Khorne. Only a foolish man, or a very brave one gives himself to only one of the Gods. Without Nurgles blessing, we would fall prey to every disease. Without Slaanesh, we could not enjoy anything. Without Tzeentch, how could we plan for battle?"

I rubbed my eyes, and sighed, which was becoming a habit.

"You do realize that we have neighbors, right? And that they'll report me for "Noise Violations"?"

"What are those Giant Jonathan?"

"There are rules here. Rules I have to follow. One of them is if I make enough noise, it's a public disturbance, and I can get fined. I could lose a shitload of money."

"We could help with that."

Holy shit dude. I just finished reading the last thread and I am literally blown away. FUCKING LITERALLY. So, my good sir, please do carry on.

awesome!

eagerly await moar

F5F5F5F5...
...
...
F5?

Did...did Op died?

F5!

Enjoying this. Keep writing, Telk.

Router died for a WHILE.

I am so sorry /tg/ I never wanted to hurt you.
However, while you may be mad, I am madder. Not only did my router crap out for I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG.

I just found a Knight that I discovered missing this morning.

I had spent HOURS painting him.

He was the best mini I had ever done, and others agreed. He had the perfect rusted, aging look on his armor, that took me...so...fucking...long.

I just found it missing his helmet, torso chewed into pieces, every limb bitten off, and most of the paint scraped off in my dogs kennel.

I FUCKING MAD.

But I'll write a bit then go until tomorrow.

>>12115424

You have to admit I'm not as bad as the writefriend for Wayward Son.

Jesus his threads lasted days, the sadistic fucker.

"So, how do you propose I make about...let me think...maybe 100 bucks that I don't have?"

"Giant, how much is, "100 bucks" worth?"

Shrugged again.

"Eh, you could buy...maybe 10 bottles of Wine. Not good stuff, for sure, but not REALLY bad stuff."

"We have an idea."

So I bent down, and he whispered it into my ear.

Well, he shouted it quietly enough so that only I could hear it.

It was a plan.

A good plan. No, scratch that, it was an EVIL plan. A most diabolic, vile, and cunning plan. It was...delightful.

These fuckers are rubbing off on me.

>>12116342
Ouch.

Shit sucks, bro. I can sympathize. One time, made a bitchin' Hammerhead Gunship conversion to have treads. I was going to write it off as a cross-species experiment by Tau Earth Caste scientists, to see if human technology can be integrated into existing Tau hardware effectively.

The result was that the conversion got stolen at a GW shop. Set it down, hoping my bros would watch it, and turned my back.

You spend a lot of time on somethin', and what's it get ya, amirite?

Actually, it was a so-so plan at best. Okay, you know those Slaaneshi Horsemen, right? I talked about them earlier. Five little hermaphrodites, all sitting on some boobsnakes or whatever you want to call the Steeds of Slaanesh.

Thing is, the Steeds of Slaanesh, when their tongue hits your skin...it's the best high in the world. It's powerful, addictive, and doesn't last long. Good traits in a drug, at least for the seller.

So, they wanted me to go into the Drugs business.

But first, I decided I had to "sample the merchandise" if you will. Don't look at me like that, I'm clean in most things, don't drink, smoke, or light up some hash. Give me this pleasure.

Well, as soon as that tiny little tongue lashed my skin, it began the best, and worst feeling in my life.

It's difficult to describe, but you know how when you're having sex, or masturbating (Probably the latter if you're anything like myself) And you manage to hold your load until you actually begin to Orgasm before you cum? It was like that first, sharp, almost painful wave of pleasure, so good it hurts. And it didn't stop. For maybe a full minute, maybe longer, I was down on the ground spasming, teeth gritted, hands clenched, not waves but a constant, sharp pleasure throughout my body that seemed like it would never end. Hell, I'm not ashamed to admit that I got a stiffy, hardest I've ever been...while I was wearing the tightest pants I'd ever fit in.

Yeah, ouch was an understatement.

>>12116395
Worst part is it's not my dog.

I live in an apartment, with a dickbag stoner. I'm probably testing positive for drugs in my piss just breathing the same air he does. And earlier this year, (Mid-August actually) fucker decides to get a Dog, which surprisingly, as long as it's less then 20 pounds, is allowed by the owner.

So he got the yappiest, most energetic piece-of-shit Pug he could find.

He doesn't train him, so even now (Still a puppy, maybe 4 months old now) he's aggressive, will bite at the drop of the hat, growls at EVERYONE except his owner, pisses and shits where he pleases, and never stops humping people legs. And the cat. And my table legs. And anything else.

So I kept my Warhammer stuff up on my Desk, when I didn't keep it up on some VERY HIGH shelves, not even my cat can reach. I was going back to add a sigil, a Warband mark to this Knight. Left him on the table this morning, and apparently, the Dog is smart enough to jump up on my chair, up on the desk, grab the most valuable item there (Just 2 paints, It was a single-tone sigil) instead of HIS FUCKING BEEF FLAVORED CHEW TOY WITH TREATS IN IT and start chewing like a motherfucker.

I hate him.

I hate his dog.

And I feel like I hate everything right now.

>>12116463
Do you hate us too? Don't hate us!

>>12116422

When I was able to actually see, and move, I got up.

My heart felt like I had just ran a marathon, my hands were bleeding from where my nails had dug in, I had bit off a tiny piece of my tongue when my jaws clamped shut, my dick felt like it had been crushed with a hammer, and my paints were stained with ejaculate mixed with blood.

And already I wanted more.

While it may have been all 5 of them licking me at once, it was still incredibly powerful for the amount of saliva in that lick. And it was addictive. I needed it, worse than an insomniac needed sleep, like a starving man needed food, like a drowning man needed air.

I had only used it once, and my mind was consumed, completely, and utterly, by WANT.

>>12116515
Hah, If I hated you why would I be writing this writefaggotry for you?

>>12116563
Point made. And it's getting confusing now, telling which posts are your write posts and which ones you're just normally talking in. Took me five minutes to figure it out so I could save your damn thing.

>>12116563
We love you too, writefriend.

>>12116463
Shitty story Op :( Maybe him and hid dickhead dog need their own "Gift" of "Nurgle".... And by that I mean stealing all his pot and moving out before he can do anything... Yeah, I never was good at metaphors.

>>12116522

I'm sorry Whiteknight.

But just a tiny spark burned from the back of my mind, telling me to resist.

No, it didn't tell me, it demanded that I resisted. It roared it's displeasure, like a monster from Humanities distant past. The pleasures of Slaanesh were paltry to the fear this voice, no, this creature brought in my mind.

In a moment of weakness, I began to reach for the Steeds again, to get another fix.

Wrong move. The sigil on my forehead, the Mark the Hooks told me about, blazed into a Supernova of Agony, bursting through my body with power unimaginable. It felt as though the world had punched me in the gut, and I flew into one of the walls from this invisible force.

Crumpled against the wall, bleeding out, I had only one thing on my mind.

I staggered over to the TV, reached up for one, final task.

I grabbed the Phone, and so I called up my Lord, and my Lord got scared and it said "you're moving in with your Patron and Host in Bel-Air. I whistled for a Chariot, and when it came near the screams of the dying said FRESH and had entrails on the mirror, if anything I could say this ride was rare, but I thought, nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-Air!

I pulled up to my spawn-pit about seven or eight, I yelled to the Driver "Yo Nurgle Smell ya Later" I looked up to my Kingdom, I was finally there, to take my Throne as Daemon Prince of Bel-Air

>>12116725

Fuck.


You.

>>12116725

>>12116725
ALL MY HATE!!

We just got Bel-Air'd.

Best set-up ever.

>>12116725

>>12116828
Hur fucking yea brah. Getting bel-aired is fucking hilarious.

>>12116848
No, it isn't.

But the set-up was so grand that I need to applaud the writefag.

10/10, would be trolled again.

/tg/ I wouldn't do that to you I'm not that huge a dick.

Rest assured, you'll get another post or two before I go to bed and then continue in the morning.

I'm sorry, it was just too good an opportunity not to use.

Think of it as an education in rage coming from the backhand of Khorne himself.

>>12116875
Pfft, says you. But yea, 10/10 for that.

But just a tiny spark burned from the back of my mind, telling me to resist.

No, it didn't tell me, it demanded that I resisted. It roared it's displeasure, like a monster from Humanities distant past. The pleasures of Slaanesh were paltry to the fear this voice, no, this creature brought in my mind.

In a moment of weakness, I began to reach for the Steeds again, to get another fix.

Wrong move. The sigil on my forehead, the Mark the Hooks told me about, blazed into a Supernova of Agony, bursting through my body with power unimaginable. It felt as though the world had punched me in the gut, and I flew into one of the walls from this invisible force.

Crumpled against the wall, bleeding out, I had only one thing on my mind.

Revenge.

Revenge against whatever had done this to me, whatever had brought these miniatures to life, whatever had branded me with the Sigil of Khorne, whatever had just thrown me against this wall.

This hate, flowed strong and pure through my body till' my veins sung with malice as pure and cold as the vastness of space.

Not now. Not tomorrow.

But someday I would end whoever had done this so utterly not a scrap of information on him would survive, and none would live to let the world know of him and his passing.

But not now. I had to wait. And as of now, I seemed to have all the time in the world for it.

>>12116878

>an education in rage coming from the backhand of Khorne himself.

I am totally using that phrase irl now.

What did you guys leave as soon as you read the Bel-Air fake-troll?

Come on guys I'm still posting.

Well, actually that's he last post till tomorrow but.

Is all forgiven?i

>>12117121
I'm still F5ing!!!! D:
I love your writefaggotry!

>>12117174

Thanks, but I have to get up early tomorrow.

Seeya tomorrow /tg/, I post from 7-8 AM Eastern, and 4-10:30 PM Eastern.

I guess I didn't state it here, but always feel free to post. Be it whatever, just post. I'm always looking for ideas, so feel free to give suggestions whenever I'm on.

Seeya tomorrow!

>>12117121
Another post. Then all will be forgiven.

>>12117229
one more post and then archive it.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

Ffffffffuck me.

Didn't see that last few posts before I got off.
It was an odd hatred that flowed through me. It dominated my every though, but though every portion of my mind could think of nothing but hatred for some unknowable creature,some unknowable force, my body seemed to be mine.

I looked down at the Steeds.

But I felt no need. I simply stated approval for the plan. And then turned away.

>>12116725

>>12122090

As soon as I had spoken, perhaps before, the Guilded Eye came to life. Where previously they had been frozen in fear, now they voiced every concern, every want, everything that came to mind and began to, for want of a better word, chat.

They began proposing delivery methods, pricing, methods to hide evidence of this as-of-yet non-illegal substance.

But I had to think. I needed a quiet place, away from responsibility.

But I didn't have anything like that. As soon as I opened the door that same fucking Blood Angel buzzed towards my face, screaming in Righteous fury, Power Sword thrusting forwards towards my eyes.

I punched him out of the air.

yus, it's back.

Looking for SovS hook-up, any titsteeds nearby?

bump.

those poor blood angels, all they want to do is purge you in the name of the emprah

any other write friends out there

I woke up to the sound of something glass breaking in the kitchen.

"Fuck me sideways." Immediately sitting up, I marched to the kitchen, and sure enough, the 1st Lorkhan Marauders had broken into the fridge and subsequently broken a jar of salsa. They were immediately collecting the massive glass shards. "OK, what the fuck are you guys doing with broken glass?"

"Dozer blades on our Leman Russ tanks! Hope you don't mind, big guy." The Colonel, ever-present with his cigar, took a moment to enjoy said cigar before I got out the broom and dustpan. "Next time, fucking ask before you break my shit. Oh, by the way, I want my fucking shoelaces back."

>>12126007
"Nnnnooo, sorry, no can do, big guy. We need that to tie down the rocket launchers on our Sentinels. They're starting to break down." I rubbed my eyes in frustration.

"Colonel. I am housing your regiment of thugs. You are my guests. I reserve the right to kick your little army-men out into the streets, where people will be a lot less accepting of your stealing and breaking shit, and will likely wipe you out to the last man. So, kindly stop breaking shit, and give me back my shoelaces."

The Colonel thought about that for a minute, dropping some ashes from his cigar on my kitchen counter before nodding in agreement. "Alright. Sounds fair, big guy. Boys, finish it up down there! Where's my Valkyrie?"

Almost as if to answer his question, the Valkyrie I hadn't finished painting yet flow over from seemingly out of nowhere, landing and allowing the Colonel to board, before taking off again. It left burn marks on the counter from where it had landed. Now I had two things to clean.

"I want those shoelaces by tomorrow morning, you hear me?!"

>>12126062
awesome!

Just got back. I'll start posting again once this guy is finished.

>>12126118
Oh, I'm done for right now. I suspect I'll be bumping your thread whenever you leave.

>>12126130

Well, that was a fine intermission.

Let me just start thinking of ideas...

>>12126158
Take your time.

For those of you who may recall the thread some anon made about modelling advice a little while ago, for making a ramshackle group of IG that used a battlefield-damaged aesthetic - That was me. Thanks for the advice, anons.

I suspect you'll be seeing more tales of the Lorkhan Marauders, and I'm honestly tempted to write actual in-universe fiction about 'em. If you anons are interested, I'll consider it.

>>12126262
i may not be anon since i prefer to name fag myself even though i have no reason to do so, but I am definitely interested.

>>12126431
Well, now I'm considering it.

Of course, this thread is OP's show. I'm just the intermission. Enough talk of 'maybes.'

>>12126158
may not be the best idea mister sir but i tried for what its worth.


What if the chaos war band tries to convert the blood angels and create chaos spees mareens with them?

Sorry anons, but might not be posting today.

Will attempt to post tomorrow.

>>12126468
Oh dear.

Shall I take over again, OP?

>>12126503
Smoke if ya got em.

What I'm doing right now is actually writing something out in advance, been making it up as I go along so far. Also, I need a break, getting a bit burnt out.

>>12126642

I know how that feels. Writing is kinda like digestion: If you try to force shit, you'll end up hurting yourself. Good stuff is worth waiting for, so take your time.

>LABORATORY glespr
What horrors take place there, Captcha?

Bump

Bump again

OK, I am ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL of this thread until OP gets back.

After the incident in the kitchen, I went back to bed, writing a note to myself to go buy more salsa. I was asleep five hours before I awoke to the sound of automatic gunfire in my living room.

Leaping out of bed, I ran out to the living room to witness a cashews tin rolling on it's side, with four miniaturized assault cannons duct-taped around it's rim. They were firing as it rolled. I immediately sought cover, and waited for the Marauders to finish testing their new toy. Eventually, the gunfire stopped as a guardsman stepped out.

Leaping out from behind my cover, I grabbed the weaponized cashew tin. The interior was full of circuitry. "How the hell did you weaponize a SNACK TIN!?"

The Ork Mekboy the Marauders had with them waddled along my desk's edge. "It'z nawt shooty 'nuff."

"You are not answering my question. It's an empty snack tin that I spent three dollars on. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU PUT A GUN ON IT AND GET IT TO WORK!?"

The Mekboy shrugged. "It needed sum fiddly bitz inside o' it. Ah put sum in."

I stared down at the lethal snack container and went to go put it under lock and key. I needed to lay some ground rules.

XD WEAPONIZED SNACK TIN WTF

>>12129159
HAHAHAHAHAAH

bump