I light my lamp to illuminate the hallway.
"Anybody want to carry this?"

The walls are of hewn stone, the work of skilled craftsmen. The floors are flagstone tiles, and the ceiling, a uniform ten feet high, is of packed earth and wooden rafters, still unfinished.

As the lamp is lit, I note the door. I check if it's locked, and listen for what's behind it if anything.

Glancing at Desum, I shake my head slightly and walk up to the door. "Everyone ready?" I ask, hand reaching out towards the handle.

"Yeah, I'm ready." I answer and try to be ready to draw my sword.

>>7465243

Pressing his ear to the door, Jacques hears low, grumbling voices and an occasional clattering sound. He gently twists the doorknob and notes that it is not locked.

"ahhh, guys?" Jacques says, backing the fuck away from the door. "Your turn."

I shy to the back of the party, one good arm clenching my spellbook. I nod with a look of apprehension at Geckilian.

>>7465309

I nod and decide to do this properly. Taking a step back from the door, I kick out towards it in an attempt to kick it open. Should it do so, I charge.

>>7465309

The grumbling voices in the room intensify, and you hear weapons being drawn from behind the door.

>>7465331

>> Character is called Ghrelor.

I walk in front of Jacques, draw my sword and ready myself. Knowing that I'm not the best at defending I try to tell the others in a whisper: "I don't think I'm the best candidate for defending."

>>7465332
If he does charge out, I try to follow him and attack a target near his.

>>7465332

You give the door a weak kick, bringing only a small portion of your strength to bear on it. It seems the door is sturdier than it looks, with a solid core.

(Incidentally, I am rolling these checks, but it'll go faster if I don't post a string of numbers every time)

>>7465396

Muttering, I go in to a stonefoot stance and kick again, hopefully catching something in the face with a door.

As the door is kicked, Jacques pulls out his bow and takes a few steps back. He also draws a single arrow to ready.

>>7465439

The door creaks on its hinges, but holds fast.

>>7465439
Seeing Ghrelor take a stance it reminds me that I should also enter my stance. I go into Punishing Stance. (AC is already subtracted on the sheet.)

>>7465477

Mildly annoyed, I take a hold of the door handle, twist it open and push/pull so the door open, then kick it.

>>7465504

With a heavy shove, the door swings inward, and you nearly tumble forward into the room.

Two tall, muscular, green-skinned, man-shaped creatures stand in the middle of the room, swinging rough-edged falchions over their heads and shouting out a battle cry. They stand in a room ten feet wide and fifteen feet long, with a lamp hanging from a nail on the center rafter, and a soiled rug covering most of the floor.

Initiative order:
Ghrelor
Desum
Jacques
Aelloon
Baddies

>>7465626

Desum recognizes these creatures as orcs, a race of dim-witted, apelike humanoids better known for aggression and strength than for tactical acumen.

>>7465626

I use Stone Bones and attack the closest green figure.

What are the rules for attacking inanimate objects such as the lamp?

>>7465626
>>7465650
... If a rug and a lit lamp AREN'T an invitation I don't know what is. Someone PRESS THE CONTEXT SENSITIVE BUTTON.

>>7465678

Ghrelor strides confidently up to the awful green creature, looks sneeringly at its filthy leather armor, and swings his greataxe a full 8 inches wide of his target.

(critical miss, no stone bones effect)

>>7465762

well, a miss is better than decapitating the wizard...

>>7465703

It'd be a tiny object with a DEX bonus of -5, so hit an AC -3.

I wave my hand, mutter a few words, and cast Fear on the second orc.

After Jacques acts I charge (if possible) the other green skinned creature in the room and hit it with my greatsword (5+2 attack from charge; 2d6+4 dmg from sword and 1d6 from stance).

If I can't charge I try to walk over to that one but if that isn't possible either I move to the closest one and hit him.

>>7465816

The orc blanches. His knees begin to knock together, and he holds his falchion uncertainly.

Jacques time.

A roleplay thread that's actually /tg/ related? /tg/ I am impressed.

>>7465878

Nocking the arrow, Jacques first aims at the orc, but then sees the lantern and grins. He aims up at the lantern and shoots.

>>7465913

Jacques' arrow smashes the glass of the lamp, dropping the lit wick and oil onto the carpet below, right at Ghrelor's feet. The flame doesn't immediately catch the carpet--but it's only a matter of seconds.

>>7465860

Still running past the flaming oil to do the killing thing, or something else?

>>7465971

To be clear, you could round around it and not get burned, at least this round.

>>7465971
No. I move closer but not close enough to be burnt when the carpet lights itself up. I also try to ready myself to hit any enemies that come too close to me.

>>7465991
Oh, scratch my earlier thought, I'll run around this round and try to hit a green skin then.

>>7466022

Moving into the room + readied action, got it.

Headless of the impending fire, the orcs rush Ghrelor. The orc near him lashes out with a slow, clumsy sling, which Grelor effortlessly parries. The other orc, shaken by fear but driven by adrenaline, runs directly through the oil and charges Grelor slashing at his exposed joints for 7 points of damage.

The carpet ignites, and Grelor and the orcs are all singed by the flames for 2 points of damage. The orc who run through the oil takes and additional 2 points of damage and looks severely burned.

Ghrelor time.

>>7466030

Sorry, a long paragraph made for a simo-post there. You'll draw green blood this round.

>>7466092

>slow, clumsy *swing*

>>7466092

I step back out of the fire buy hopefully next to both orcs, and use Steel Wind to attack both normally.

On a side point, I'm on 7 hp, can't health naturally and only get half healing from magical means. Ow.

>>7466152

but hopefully*

>>7466092
Poor Ghrel is in trouble!

>>7466152
>>7466161
>Warforged
>Not artificer
Ouch man. OUCH.

>>7466152

Ghrelor swings in a wide arc, missing the orc that struck him but slashing open the frightened, oil-soaked orc's belly. Screaming, the orc crumples into the flaming carpet, letting his falchion clatter to the ground as he attempts to hold in his viscera.

Go get 'em, Desum.

I speak a single word, which does not seem to come from my mouth, but from the very air itself. With a flick of my wrist, i cast Daze on the able bodied orc.

>>7466303

A tiny light flashes before the pig-nosed savage's eyes, and he blinks rapidly in confusion before roaring out a bestial scream of hatred and anger.

Jacques attacque.

>>7466368

oui oui.

Impressed with his work, Jacques decides to go two for two and shoots at the blinded/pissed orc. If possible, apply sneak attack damage.

>>7466390

Jacques' arrow flies wide and sinks into the wooden door at the opposite side of the room.

Aelloon!

>>7466426
I move closer to the standing orc but try to avoid the flames. While moving I study his defensive maneuvers and try to lunge forward at the right time to take advantage of his not-so perfect defense and land a hit.

I move closer and use Sapphire Nightmare Blade (roll concentration vs target's AC, if I succeed the target is flat-footed and I deal extra 1d6 damage with my attack that is part of this maneuver. If I fail I gain -2 on the attack).

>>7466426

Jacques blames the fire for his failings. Distorting the image and all that. Stupid fucking fire.

>>7466507
That post was made by me.

>>7466507
Aelloon circles aroung the orc, and, catching him as he drops his guard swings his greatsword in a lightning-fast slice. The orc catches sight of Aelloon out of the corner of his eye, and raises his falchion to meet the attack but, confounded by Desum's sorcery, raises up his falchion a few inches too high. Aelloon's sword cleaves through the orcs forearms, then slices straight through its neck, decapitating the creature and bathing the room in a spray of dark green blood.
(zomg crit)
(battle over, go ahead and act outside initiative)

>>7466589

Looking forlornly at the partially torn servos and cables of the joints on his right side, Ghrelor mutters and takes out his only potion of healing, knowing he'll only get half use from it.

Resigned, he pours it in to his mouth, crumples the vial and put it back in to his bag.

The flames die down, and you can now get a better sense of the rooms contents, now soaked in viscous blood and black with ash.

The room has two exits--the one through which you entered, to the west, and another wooden door, to the east, with an arrow stuck in it. On the ground, at the edge of the carpet, are a pair of pouches and a set of smooth, rune-carved bones.

Lowering his bow but still holding it, Jacques stares at Aelloon's work. He's impressed. Ignoring the smell of smoke and burning orc, he starts talking about the next plan of action.

"I'll bet anything that those doors further down the hall have more uglies like these two in them. But the door I shot with my arrow probably does too. Soooo.... do we wait for the fire to stop and go through the door I shot, or try another one down the hall?"

>>7466589
I grin and look around if there are any more enemies. After that I face the others and ask them if they're alright while still grinning.

Then I try to assess how dangerous the fire is.

>>7466616

A strong brew! Ghrerlor regains 4 hit points.

I walk away from the flaming room and attempt to discern the creators of this dungeon.
(Knowledge (Architecture) +5 total)

>>7466658

From the stonework, you'd guess dwarven craft, but with certain elements unfamiliar in the work of dwarves you've associated with.

>>7466624
When I notice that the fire has died down I turn my attention to the pouches and the bones. If nobody else is with me there I alert others of what I am examining:
"I wonder if there's anything valuable here. And what are these?" I ask while pointing at the bones.

>>7466716

Ghrelor turns to Aelloon and walks over, looking at the bones in turn.

>>7466716

The bones are inscribed with odd etchings, worn smooth through handling and browned with the accumulated grease of their owners' hands.

Inside the pouches you find:
*400 gold coins
*5 gems
*1 scroll

>>7466716
Wordlessly, I shuffle past the others and attempt to examine the bones.
(Knowledge(Arcana) +5 total )

>>7466761

You do not recognize the runes.

>>7466764

You also do not recognize the runes, although you can determine with some certainty that they have no particular magical purpose.

>>7466761
"Wow!" I utter in astonishment. "These orcs sure were wealthy. There's quite a few hundred pieces of gold here and a couple of pretty rocks."

Jacques' ears perk up at the sound of the shiny. From the looks of it, this amount of coins and the jewels could have already made this particular venture profitable.

"Alright, so how are we divying this? The gold we just split evenly, but there's 5 gems and 4 of us, and no bauble gets left behind."

I stoop to collect the bones. As I return to my hunched standing position, I pocket them, trying to ignore and inquisitive looks that the party might give me.
Though maintaining my timid nature, i make it evident to all my interest in the scroll.

"This is probably the money of the townspeople. However, I guess this could work as payment for our work."

I tell Jacques: "I can live with getting one gem so you three decide how you want to split the rest."

>>7466887

"Eh, finders keepers, yadda yadda yadda," Jacques says as he meticulously counts the piles to ensure all have an even amount. He puts the scroll in one pile to designate that it's Desum's, and drops one gem in each one. Twiddling the final gem between his fingers, he tosses it straight up to see which pile it lands closest to. (let DM roll for that)

>>7466857
>any
>>7466947
I nod slightly with approval and watch the jem arc through the air with a rather bored look.

>>7466947

The final gem, a solid black stone the size of a halfling's fist, lands in Ghrelor's pile.

Ghrelot shrugs. "As long as I have sufficient funds to repair myself and thus earn further existance by fighting, I do not mind where additional riches go."

With a few quick stride to the doorway with an arrow in it, Ghrelor attempts to remove it whilst keeping as much of the shaft as possible intact, to return to Jacques.

>>7466974

The arrow comes cleanly out of the door. You notice that the door has a hollow core and flimsy hinges--clearly a few corners have been cut in this lair's construction.

>>7466969

After my attempt on the arrow, I collect my share of the riches.

>>7466974

The arrow comes out cleanly, and you notice that the door has a hollow core and flimsy hinges. Clearly, some corners were cut in this lair's construction.

>>7466974
* I don't really know how this feat works, can i cast mend to repair him?*

>>7467014

Accidental double-post.

>>7466947
I take the pile of coins that was meant for me and put it in the sack and into the backpack. I put the gem into my belt pouch. (Oh yeah, I hope my donkey was left outside with its food where it won't run away.)

I look around the room to see if I can find something else valuable. Perhaps even try to see if the orcs had any pockets or something if there is time.

>>7467016

A warforged counts as an object pretty much, so spells designed to repair damage on objects work great on warforged.

>>7467016

I'll treat it as an alternate Repair Minor Wounds, sure. You can give him 1 hit point.

Jacques watches as the gem falls, and makes a sort of "tic" noise. He drops his spoils into his pack, and then takes the arrow from Ghrelot. He drops it into his quiver, then gets up.

He goes to the door, and notes it's flimsiness. He pulls from the doorway they came from a 10-foot pole he brought despite it being much larger than him and awkward to carry in a low-ceilinged dungeon such as this. He maneuvers it to open the door from a distance, just to be safe.

>>7467026

On the orcs' persons you find sweaty leather armor, a bit big for a human and damaged from the fight, and their pitted, battle-worn falchions. They carry a few little bones and skulls as fetishes, but nothing of any real value.

>>7467051

The door has a standard doorknob which you'll need to turn, unless you'd like to break through the door with the pole.

>>7467029
I slowly plod over to the damaged warrior, hugging my gnarled arm close, and say
"Actually.....sir, I may be able to aid you."
I hold up my spellbook and lift my face to look at the figure towering over me.

(to avoid useless posts, if he accepts I cast mend on him, lowering my spells for today to ray of frost, mage hand, and summon monster I - i realize that i did not say which spells i had prepared)

When I see Jacques in action and realize what he's doing I draw my sword again and try to be ready for everything that's coming.

I look around to see if everyone realized what Jacques is trying to do.

>>7467094

I would PIERCE THE HEAVENS WITH MY POLE if I weren't pathetically weak.

Disappointed I can't use my fancy giant stick, I do things the old-fashioned way. Listen at the door, check if locked. If nothing behind and unlocked, open regularly. If something behind and unlocked, give pole for somebody to pierce heavens with. If locked and something behind, see option 2.

>>7467099

Animated by arcane forces, the a few of the tubes carrying hydraulic fluids through Ghrelor's arm knit themselves back together. He gains 1 hit point.

>>7467099

Ghrelor nods and simply says "My gratitude towards you, fleshling." before Ghelor readies his greataze and steps up to the side of the door, adopting his stance.

>>7467124

The door, is unlocked, and behind it Jacques hears only silence, so he opens it inward into the room. Beyond he sees a hallway leading south, branching off to the east ten feet down the hall and thereafter leading off into darkness.

(I'll hereafter assume that Jacques has the lamp, since it wasn't really established earlier)

>>7467163

>The door, is unlocked

Christ Jesus, I promise I'm usually not this bad at English.

Tiptoeing while holding the lantern and repositioning the pole into his pack (can we just assume that Jacques, knowing how useful these poles are yet being in a high-mobility job, has a collapasable one? Otherwise get away when he turns around), Jacques gazes around the corner, being careful of traps along the way.

>>7467133
>>7467131

i look on with wonder. From now on, I vow to become more like this uncaring behemoth... Devoid of pain, of dread or sorrow.

(AdMech, here I come!)

>>7467196

Looking around the corner to the east, Jacques sees that the hallway's branch ends abruptly, five feet ahead, with a tapestry covering the wall completely.

I try to silently move to the door Jacques opened and try to peek into the corridor.

>>7467240

Well, is it a pretty-looking tapestry? Potentially valuable? Anything cryptic or spooky on it?

>>7467204

(Can't remember the prestige name, but you chop off your arm and become a very lovely part warforged. Battlefist ho!)

Stoically Ghrelor follows Jacques, his stance firm and secure.

>>7467271

(Aha! Renegade Mastermaker, Magic of Eberron.)

>>7467261

Its simple geometric pattern rather obviously conceals a simple wooden door behind it.

>>7467296
(Excellent. I shall look it up.)
Shuffling after the rest of the party, I take one last look at the charred remains of the room I was leaving and wonder if adventuring is really the right career path the one of my crippled stature.

I follow Ghrelor without being in my fighting stance.
(So I have AC 11 now and not 9.)

>>7467318

I rip the tapestry down, and then do my standard check of "if unlocked and nothing heard behind, go. If locked and nothing behind, pick it first. If anything behind, default to Warforged smashing shit open."

>>7467331
I also recover my maneuvers. I guess the other warblade does or did the same.

>>7467366

With a hefting of his axe, yes.

>>7467344

The moment Jacques gets a grip on the tapestry, the floor beneath him begins to buckle alarmingly. With the trained reflexes of a master thief, he clings to the tapestry hanging over the door and watches as the floor opens up to a 20 foot drop onto a floor full of rusty spikes.

>>7467401

Ghrelor gets out his silk rope, ties a loop on it, and trie to hook one of Jacques' legs to drag him back, assuming he's too far to normally reach.

>>7467401

"ch, well that was careless of me" Jacques mutters, alongside some choice words in his native Halfling language.

"Ahh, whoever's behind me... I have a pole sticking way out in my pack. Pull it out and place it on the floor, underneath my feet. I'll drop down and mosey my way over."

Jacques waits for somebody to respond. For some reason, he feels more annoyed that the lantern dropped when he made his grab and is now at the bottom of a spike pit.

>>7467401

The pole and lantern fall into the pit as Jacques holds tight to the tapestry with both hands. The lantern shatters, and you are bathed in darkness and Jacques dangles above certain doom.

>>7467438
I try to help Ghrelor somehow. "Can I help in any way?"

If not, I wait until Jacques can be pulled back and help him get on his feet.

>>7467447

Sticking out of your pack? That's fine, too.

>>7467449
I mention that there are torches in the room that had been set on fire. I then go back to retrieve them, going mostly by touch and memory.

>>7467479

After about a minute's poking about, you return with torches.

>>7467455
I stop moving forward if I can't see anything around me. I crouch and try to slowly move forward while mentioning: "I'll try to grab the pole but it's pretty dark in here so I can't guarantee anything."

>>7467455

"Here." Ghrelor says, handing Aelloon the other end of the rope. "If you can make a loop it is my estimation that we can hook the fleshling and pull it back."

Afterwards Ghrelor continues to try and loop a part of the halfling with the silken noose in order to bring him back.

>>7467514

Aelloon finds the end of the ten-foot pole sticking out of Jacques' pack in the dark, carefully grabbing hold of it without jarring Jacques' precarious grip.

>>7467541

Ghrelor's rope slaps the back of Jacques' neck, startling him and causing him to sway a little on the tapestry. He manages to maintain his hold, however.

>>7467548
I try to place the pole as Jacques instructed and tell Ghrelor: "Next time, I'll try to do what Jacques asked."

>>7467586

A look of confusion spreads over Ghrelor's face. "I am unable to comprehend, fleshling. You have done as the fleshling asked." With the other plan going ahead, Ghrelor winds up his rope and puts it away.

>>7467586

Aelloon lays the pole across the chasm, approximately where he estimates Jacques' feet to be.

Jacques gets slightly nervous as the rope goes around his neck. While keeping his grip, he tries to move it to around an arm instead. A dislocated shoulder from falling is better than a broken neck.

When he hears the pole land, jacques drops down and prepares to crawl back.

(I gotta go to work in the morning. Can we either carry this on tomorrow or have Jacques fall to his painful death?)

>>7467630

Despite the dark, Jacques manages to tight-rope walk across the pole and back to safety.

>>7467630

Likewise, I have to get up in ~6 hours, so we'd better wrap things up here. I'll be back on around 5pm PST, and we'll see if we can extend this little one-shot experiment into a two-fer then.

Good playing, guys! You've been a pleasure to DM. Love the descriptions, love the strategic thinking.

>>7467669

Assuming it's 11 pm for you now right? If so, you're 8 hours behind me as it's 7am here. I'll see you at 1am my time, heh.

>>7467669

Also, thank you for running as DM for us.

I wont be back until about 10 EST so about 7 for you.

>>7467690

Yeesh. Next time I run one of these, I'll start it early in the morning on a Saturday and just soldier on through the day. I honestly expected this to crumble into trolling and failure, so I'm glad we got to kill a couple of ugly things and take their stuff tonight.

Also, thanks for the game guys it was actually more reasonable than some RL sessions I've had.

>>7467714

The drawback with that is I work weekends, heh. Evenings suit me fine.

loved listening in, it's been a while sense I was able to observe a session of D&D, an old hobby of mine. Thanks for the entertainment and I plan on listening in next session as well.

>>7467748
>>7467714
If you guys want to turn this into a real campaign, we could exchange emails.

>>7467669
That's in 18 hours then? I'll keep an eye out for a thread then or alternatively you can send me an e-mail.

And yes, thank you for DMing for us.