From the other thread:

Nasu, man, you seem to be constantly playing characters who are either dangerously psychotic or emotionally damaged, and they're all girls. Anything you wanna share with the group?

So your character is a cannibal murderer. Who is a genius. And he's super, super cultured, so when he eats a victim's liver it's paired with fine wine. And you gave him enough ranks in diplomacy and sense motive to convince people to kill themselves?

Working link to old thread, because I'm a retard.
>>18766212
>>18766212

Look, Gabe, as much as we love you're campaign we're not going to wait years for the third session.

Goddamn Scheherazade, quit leaving us on a cliff hanger every session!

No John you have made a really interesting story and the characters are great but I think everyone wants something else. We can all come back to this another day and have a real blast ok John? What about my garden hose? Why are you asking me about this all of the sudden?

So you want to play your previous character's father before he became the bbeg? That... actually sounds pretty cool. I bet this turns out awesome, just like the campaign we just finished

Look, Ed. We killed the guy, but we hid the body fairly well. Just keep cool and wait for these guys to leave, then-

Oh GODDAMMMIT.

>>18768336

Dude, Kinoko Nasu as WoD Storyteller would be trippin' balls, gotta admit.

Harper, I know you really like your lawyer GMPC, but frankly he's making the party look bad by comparison.

>>18768168

Dude i know you've got a phd in philosophy but you can't run a campaign on endless diatribes on the nature of magic and free will.

What's that you say? There are evil raepy creatures from sphess that jizz black semen and mind reading monks? Are we still playing DnD? Oh, there's a angsty old sorcerer too? I guess it's ok then.

WE GET IT HARRIET. Slavery is bad. WE KNOW.

Robert, we're having a swell time and all, but don't you think you're... throwing a few too many sidequests our way? It's almost like we're gonna die of old age before we finish this campaign. If you know what I mean.

NO GODDAMN UNDERAGE CHARACTERS!

And no, your character may not run around in nothing but underwear, you goddamn pervert!

Inb4 Ayn Rand and over9000 posts of objectivism discussion

>>18768421
Ayn Rand already happened, no derailment followed. Please do not mention her again.

>>18768421
You'll find her in the previous thread, along with Goodking.

Yo Gen, I'm with you on thematic character development and all, but Christ Almighty you are running through these character sheets like you hate paper. Just, please, stop letting your characters die.

Valerie, I'm not really comfortable with how this all amazon game is going...

For fuck's sake, Neal, enough with the fucking memes already.

So you want to send love letters back home to your character's lover, James? Well that seems like a pretty neat way to do character development, let me just read thi- JESUS CHRIST

>>18768438
I... I just thought you guys would like to hear some more about vortices

I don't care how fucking well you rolled, Dan, your commissar did not just gut two CSMs with the chainsword he took from one of them. That's bullshit.

Oh, for the people that wanted to know about the Pratchett Alzheimers helmet, it's basically this thing:

http://www.emersonww.com/InfraredHelmet.htm

I did a quick check for relevant journal articles, and it looks like it hasn't been through any double blind clinical trials, though there are positive anecdotal reports of its effectiveness.

I did find some research about the effect of bright light therapy on some of the symptoms of late stage Alzheimer's/Dementia, but there were no clinically significant finding.s

>>18768438
To be fair, he'd run a pretty good eclipse phase game.

Nicolai, don't you think your character has too many points in persuasion for this campaign? I don't want to start having to artificially raise the spirit of the NPCs just because your character can somehow tell them anything and have them believe it.

>>18768488
Winner. Sure hope it works good.

Christ, Joe, it's like your NPCs only have two settings: Want to Fuck My Brains Out, or Want to Stab Me in the Goddamn Throat.

I mean, the combats we have are great, fast, and vicious, but...

>>18768433
So, your next character can stop time? Uh-huh. Well there are spells and powers to that effect, so maybe it isn't as overpowered as it first sounds. But explain to me this... arsenal. Just how many grenades are you carrying? And is that... a missile launcher?

Wait wait...seriously the orc hordes are looting and pillaging because they have a central bank and insufficient understanding of the Mises-Hayek theory of the business cycle?

And if we teach them to mine gold like dorfs a worldwide peace will follow?

Someone do Arthur Miller!

Goddamnit John, can we have some variety in this game? It's all make a million walking checks, then sudden combat, then make a million more checks for walking, then combat, with some running away from things thrown in for good measure! You've made an awesome world and all, but can't we try and negotiate with the bad guys for once? No one is objectively 'evil' like that. We just want some variety, dammit. Can't we have a puzzle? or some diplomacy? or something else!

Also, stop with the goddamn eagles!

Okay, Marg-- Sorry, I mean Robin. Listen. We've had a talk, and... we're not entirely comfortable with you bringing your fattening fetish into the game.

>>18768433
No Gen, you can't be the little girl. Again.

>>18768488

I did find one somewhat relevant article suggesting that red light helped green tea cross the blood brain barrier, and break up the "plaque" that causes some of the symptoms of alzheimer's, so that does look promising.

Only one of the links lead to the article though, and it was very brief, basically an abstract. The other six all lead to the same (wrong) article, and it was on horseshoes, and why they were necessary.

There's probably an alzheimer's joke in there somehwere.

>>18768540
What about the door of that one dungeon? Or the door of the other dungeon before that, on the mountain? Weren't those riddles?

Look, Oda, I know you're all exited about your new girlfriend, but could you have us meet a woman that is not literally an hourglass.

>>18768520

Both Princess: The Hopeful and Magical Burst were created specifically so that Gen Urobuchi could GM them. Once this happens, it has been foretold that the mouths of hell would open, and the Harrowing would begin

>>18768559

Your character has HOW many points in charisma?!

>>18768438
I lost it there. Well done.

Bill-

Hey Bill, can-

Bill, I-

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, BILL, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SECOND AND LET SOMEONE ELSE TALK? YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY EVERY GODDAMN THING THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD.

No! No! Enough! You will leave my house right fucking now!
God, why would you do that?

Ran one campaign and then cut off contact with his gaming group, claiming they were all "phonies".

No, why would you-- NO. No hermaphrodites. NONE.

>>18768564

I would start throwing money at the screen for footage of Gen and Nasu sitting down at a table and running Mage: The Awakening. Would be a sight to see.

As much as we love your character, could you maybe not bring that creepy entourage of neckbeards to the game? No, no, we've got no problem with you... just your "fans".

>>18768636
Nothing's happening!

Look, Chi-- I can't say your name and take you seriously. Can I call you Chris? No? C? Okay. Listen, C, I appreciate you coming up with all these wacky homebrew races, but you have got to stop preaching politics to every single fucking NPC the party comes across.

>>18768599
I listened to her reading of Feuchtgebiete the other day. I think I'm gay now.

>>18768640

I don't think Lauren Faust could be considered an author.

>>18768599

So I just looked her up, and read a summary of Feuchtgebiete. That bit with the pedal? I cringed. AUGH.

>>18768663
The thread is "general famous people" not "authors"

I guess your PC can make a deal with the devil. Just don't come crying to me if it ends badly.

>>18768657
I'm happy to not have done that.
I'm lurking /d/ but this shit is just... disgusting for lack of a better word.

Wait, where are we again? And we're talking to who? Can someone explain to me how the fuck we got here? Are we even still playing the same characters? I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THESE WORDS!

>>18768675
>Thread title
>Famous authors
>General famous people
all of my wut

Okay, fine, Thomas. You print your incendiary pamphlets against the king. Roll diplomacy to see how persua- A 20? Jesus. I guess the peasants start an uprising, fueled by your words.

>>18768718
>hurr durr george lucas and gaben are authors

Okay, Sal, listen. We get it, you're rebelling against religious authorities and stuff. Can we get on with the plot? This side stuff is getting a bit-- for fuck's sake, no, I'm not persecuting you!

Whoa there, time-out GM. Let me get this straight: you're telling us that Tyler and I have really been playing the same character all along?

Look, Itoi, I love your campaigns and all. And you have some really neat ideas, loved the one about the spirals, but I really think you should run shorter "monster of the week" games instead, your plots tend to get kinda carried away as soon as we meet the same thing more then once.

Listen, Fritz. I know you are into detailed descriptions of the world but why exactly do our characters have to stand and watch the entire process of making a bell?
For an hour!
This campaign was about aristocrats and romanticism, for christ's sake!
http://fathersforlife.org/hist/song_of_the_bell.htm

God damn it, Rob. Listen, you're a great DM, and your worlds... I get lost in them. But did we really need to have three weeks' worth of sessions that were JUST about the NPCs on the other side of the world? We haven't even met them yet.

>>18768748
OH GOD THIS IDEA IS GREAT

Leo, no... I'm not gonna read character backstories more than 20 pages long

>>18768779
If you thought that was good, I hear his next campaign is going to be about rabies zombies and time travel. Using Car Wars.

No, Jennifer. Just no. Get out.

Thomas, stop telling us about your character.
He's boring, his intentions are idiotic and everyone hates him.
You even said you don't like him yourself anymore.
Why don't you just retire him?
You have made so many great characters. Just let him go.

>>18768729
Who wrote the scripts for Star Wars and Half Life?

Listen, bro. I actually kind of like what you're doing with this. I was skeptical of a military genius being that young, but your backstory explained it, and you kept him in character. And, hell, you made the entire party care about him.

But when Jim asked you if your character was supposed to seem similar to Hitler, despite his CG alignment, why couldn't you have lied and said "no"?

So this thing... people who have been studying it for years have a hard time making it make sense, and your character can use it just like that?

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, JUNJI.

Look, Ray, when I enforced in-character descriptions, it was to try to get people to branch out and roleplay more.

You just keep giving me dramatic "the noun verbed" kind of deals on every one of your turns.

>>18768855

Another sly and lecherous Cleric, Giovanni? Why don't you try something new for a cha-- Okay, sly and lecherous Rogue. Okay. That'll do for now.

Yes, Nick. Very clever. Now will you stop fucking saying "Just as planned"?

....What kinda dice you using for these random encounters, man?

>>18768544
Wait, when did THAT happen? Not in Farseer.

>>18768918
The Soldier Son trilogy.

Allllll about the fattening fetish.

Walther, I know you are good with bards.
But why do they always have to oppose the party cleric? Not to speak of any other cleric.

Never stop. Let us grow fat on your cheese and our hearts race with the action.

Hey wait, what do you mean you're letting some Americans take over?

God damnit Ayn, give it a rest already, we don't care about economics and I swear to god jim's going to murder your stupid John Galt the next time he acts like a smarmy asshole.

Listen, Steve, it isn't that we don't love the adventure, but the lasut three sessions have been nothing but you explaining how super symmetry may work and why that's important to the ship's engine. Can we please just go to another planet?

So your character is a fat loser serving as a wizard puppet for some sort of Satan/Government analogue?
Ok, I guess.

Just don't go into those fucking diatribes of how you feel towards your mom again, alright?

Fuck you, Bill. I know you hate me and my character, but I won't let you railroad me into failing my glorious quest of revenge! So I just--- OH COME ON! WHAT THE FUCK! "THE DRINK AND BOTH SWORDS WERE POISONED, EVERYONE DIES"?! THAT'S JUST FUCKING PETTY AND LAME. FUCK YOU, YOU RAILROADING PIECE OF SHIT, GET OUT OF MY MOTHER'S HOUSE

>>18769021
>both swords
I sure hope you're not talking about Hamlet.

You do WHAT in his mouth?

>>18769021
Eh, I'm gonna let it slide.
As long as we can run around making stupid penis jokes.

So your character has odd dreams, huh...

Cassern, while I appreciate that you wrote your own character class and are willing to let me add it to the rest of our setting, your Wizard cannot, I repeat CANNOT, wear full plate, use sneak attacks, and use Divine spells in addition to the arcane spells.

(Couldn't find a pic of the bastard's face)

Art, I'm not going to let you minmax your character to this degree. And seriously, "plays the violin badly" is not a real flaw.

Ok Chuck, stop, we get it. It's cool if you're gay.

really!? really! we're lost again?! would it kill you to throw us a freaking bone once and awhile?

No. Kouta you fat fuck, I'm not going to let you play another horridly broken psychopath.
It was bad enough in our Delta Green campaign, which you successfully threw off the rails.
But this vampire killmachine is not going to be part of my game.

Stop. Narrating. Every. Thought. You. Have.

>>18769059
> thumbnail
That's one of those japanese headbands! The mask is the cloth, and his hair is the dot in the centre!

Hey, it was cool that you set yourself up as the power behind the throne in that one kingdom, but...do you really need to do it in *every* kingdom? And do you have to be so evil about it?

>>18769160
yes *laugh manically*

WHY DID YOU LET HER PLAY BARD?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

>>18768855
For clarification, are you talking about Ender, Bean, or another side character?

>>18769231
Ender, I'm pretty sure.

>>18769312
I'd consider Peter to be more like Hitler than Ender.

>>18769358
did you just say Peter Hitler?

George, we really love the campaigns you keep putting us through .That one off with those Sandkings thing was pretty cool, even though we all died.

That last one wasn't bad either, even though you let some other dudes GM when you were writing this one.

Did you have to stick it to Jim so hard for playing an overly curious kid though? Sure, it was stupid, but he's upset George.This seems like it's going to be a pretty physical game, and he can't walk anymore.

We are also having trouble keeping track of all these NPC's. I mean, there are a bunch of them.

>>18769358
Peter maybe. He's a politician though. If we wanted "evil egotistical Genius with massive charisma" that would be Achilles. I fucking hated that kid.

>>18769438
Yeah, fuck Achilles. He got what he deserved.

Look Frankie. All we're asking for is a non-social encounter.

>>18769358
>>18769231
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ender's_Game#Critical_response

>>18769563
Died like a bitch.

>>18768801
Will you be my friend?

Look, George, I know you read the Paranoia handbook in and out but I thought I made it clear we wanted to play Classic, not Straight. I want to be able to let my Troubleshooter walk down a corridor and not immediately get tortured by IntSec thugs.

And for the last time, there is no Alpha Complex Eastasia or Eurasia.

God dammit Adolf. Another campaign about us unifying the Humans and eradicating the elves and dwarves? Could you please do something else next time?

You just convinced Cthulhu to help annex all of South America after giving Nyalarthotep a "sound rapping" back to the univere's center; you really think we have a campaign anymore, Ted? Huh, what's that?

...Okay, next game we'll be stopping coporate trust cultists from summoning Mmon'oplee, the Black Maw with a Thousand Trusts.

>>18768539
Arthur, that was seriously the worst game of Mage: The Awakening ever. I don't care if whatshisname fucked that teenage girl or not, I thought we were going to use the Creative Thaumaturgy rules, not get tortured to death by Puritans.

Phil... I mean, we love you Phil, and that's why we're playing UA with you. But, ah, can you try and get off the amphetamines before we start playing? And honestly, none of us can tell what the fuck is going or what we're supposed to be doing. Can we have just one reality going on at time once and while?

>>18769784
Forgot my Dick pic.

Thomas, are you sure you don't want to just switch to Don't Rest Your Head?
And would you kindly stop using a folding screen for a gm-screen?
It would be nice to see your face once in a while.

>>18769680
Adolf responses
"Okay, we play 40k deathwatch."

Dude, Stop blaming me for things i didn't do? Fuck man, just because Vlad character died you must go fuckin' insane and start HUNTING YOUR FRIEND

It's been three years! How long are your characters going to keep dancing around each other? Just bang already!

>>18770677
Forgot my pic.

>>18770247
Is that Stalin?

Was the wound in your leg or your shoulder? Let me see your character sheet.

Your Charisma is HOW low?

(Aaand I'm tapped out.)

>>18770698
Yup. Quite a looker back in the day.

Seriously, Gus, we've played for hours and nothing happened! I mean... we just met two NPC and you really didn't have to make them talk this long! They didn't even say any interesting thing!

Look, Pelle, this is a really good CoC game you've got going, really. We're loving your delivery and your writing and how you set up an atmosphere with your tone. It's great.

But, uh, we've been talking as a group and we've decided to have the game at my apartment now. No offense, really! It's just that your cabin is getting kinda creepy. I mean I know you have your obsession with the perfect atmosphere and all, but did you really have to mount a severed pig head on the game table? It really freaked Sam out. And that smell? We used to joke about how something died, but I'm not really sure anymore. Look, Pelle, we're just kinda, well, we're kinda worried about you, man. Like you're getting too deep in this campaign.

Wait a sec... are you sure HE is the BBEG? wow... so, we just were being dicks from the beginning!

what? why can't we join him now?

Bro, the campaign's pretty good and all, but Jeff's just kinda concerned. I mean, I'm not implying anything, but there kinda are a few resemblances between our BBEG and the DM who through you out of his campaign.

C'mooon Franz... Stop killing every character we make! Last time, we were arrested for no reason and tortured, and now we're giant bugs rotting from the inside? Please, that's just getting lame...

>>18770748
Why does he look like a sleazy yakuza member?

>>18770899
Because he was a crazy criminal. He robbed banks and shit before he ruled USSR.

>>18770850
Fuck you. I eat death and shit corpses.

For god's sake Jack! Magic does NOT explain everything and does NOT make everything possible! And YES, it's th same for science!
And all you "speed without accelleration" is just plainly retarded. Read the rules, goddammit!

>>18770925

Yes, Pelle, we get it. But at the very least can you stop bringing Oystein and Kris to the games? I'm not saying they're potheads, but they really do smell like smoke. And Kris playing with those knives was making some of us really uneasy. Hell, I think even Oystein was unnerved.

So Ray, wait, your character is ANOTHER sorceror? Your characters are great, man, but don't you want to play something other than a sorceror every now and again?

Ray, you can't just decide you're "the best swordsman in the world".

You know what Ray, just play a sorceror.

>>18770984
>they really do smell like smoke

No but seriously dude we appreciate how you're getting really meta and all, it's fresh and witty. But, uh...

...what the fuck is going on again? Hell, I'm not even sure if my character is alive or dead or what...

>>18771001

(durp forgot picture)

Okay Arty, we got it... No, I mean, we all understand what is happening, you don't need to explain it all over again!


Wait... What the actual fuck is happaning now? But... How is that possible? and what is that even supposed to mean?

>>18770984
If our black circle is getting too kvlt for you, you have every right to leave.

I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a challenging DM and I love this rulebook that he and Kunio made. It's just that I'd like to have a PC that lives longer than four sessions, ya know?

We really like what you're doing with this game, Jim. Keep at it.

So, the BBEG is actually the son of the DMPC you played in the previous campain? But that was supposed to happen something like hundread years ago! You could at least try to create some new characters and plots sometimes...

Christ, Jack.

We're all pumped as hell for these ultra-realistic campaigns you make and all the grit they have.

But do you have to write our characters for us?
And look how fucking weak they are! Fuck's sake, I'm playing some loser dilettante serving on a schooner called the goddamn Sea-Wolf with a captain that is manliness incarnate! And you're telling me I now have a love triangle against him with the chick we rescued?

>>18771081

That doesn't sound like a THAT GUY.

Seriously, stop SINGING! That's annoying as heck and that doesn't add anything to what you're saying!
And also, I don't have anything against your homebrew but... humans are totally underpowered... oh, and for the last time : NERF THE FREAKING ELVES!

Hunter, we want you to leave. Now.
No, we don't care that you have funny, lively characters, who are still sometimes insightful.

The first game, you showed up a half hour late, and drunk.

The second game, you brandished a cattle prod at Randy.

I don't even KNOW what was wrong with you the last time you showed up, so please, just get out.

Zombies and vampires? AGAIN? you souhld really p...
They're trying to.. WHAT? Seduce us? That's just going way too far Theo, stop inserting your disgusting necrophilia fetish into the game and get the fuck out of there!

Look, Miguel, you can't just have your character DECIDE to become a knight!

And just because you failed your Spot check does not mean you need to attack inanimate objects!

Robert, look. The moon campaign was fun. Some of your other stuff was good too. But dude, now all you want to do is run these homebrew scifi games with that one eugenic-experiment immortal DMPC who just keeps fucking all of his immediate female relatives. It's starting to get weird. Do you just want to play Eclipse Phase?

>>18771236
Forgot my pic.

Yeah...yeah..my Pc's name is Atilla, that's right..ye..wait..no for hells sake, it does NOT rhyme with vanilla. And why in the name of hell should he flatten his nose?!

We went underwater, in the sky, underground, so where are we going this time?
Oh, the moon... okay...
We're going there in a rocket... launched by a gun? Maaaan, stop with your steampunk shit, that's getting ridiculous!

Look, Harry, we get that you wanted to through a loop into what we thought was a standard fantasy campaign, but Roman Legions? Really? Ave Imperator and shit?

Oh well. At least its not like that WWII campaign where aliens invaded. With helicopters.

>>18771302
Forgot mah pix

Listen, if you go all mindcontrol on us, you should at very least let us make a Will Save..heh yeah, I can boost that stuff by using my special cleric spe..my god is dead?

Hmphf, allright. I still got my Will Save, ri...no free will? Go fuck yourself, of course he has free will!

I still can't belive that the whole point of the campain is to get some cakes...

Listen, you're a nice guy and everything, but this all is getting WAY to absurd. I mean, seriously, you've got TWO hitmen as DMPCs, and then you just throw that matchbox in. I mean, what the hell are we supposed to make out of that? What the hell is this all supposed to be? Is the freakin dumb waiter some kind of malevolent old god or what?

"Wait. Guys. If we go on this mission, we're all gonna die. If we turn it down, we're gonna get killed for knowing too much. If we kill the Johnson, we'll get killed by his people.

Guys.

What if.

Guys.

We convince the Johnson that we're insane."

What the fuck do you mean "You can't seduce her?" Rolling diplomacy anyway.

Stop killing every character! It's always the same shit with you : hours of railroading and in the end, only the BBEG survives!

"YOU WERE THE DEMONS ALL ALONG!"

It's okay to play with the alignments, but...
why are there only "loyal good" and "chaotic evil"?

"hey guys, we need to keep it down when we play."

...what? just... what?
but... that doesn't make any sense!

Seriously Clive, it's like we're doing the same campaign with some little things swapped in each time. Do you have a DM Mad Libs or something? New DM after this finishes.

"For fuck's sake, Watashiya-san, she's TEN! I love your characters but do they have to be so promiscuous?"

hey guys i just had this really cool idea for a setting.

basically, its ww2 but cyberpunk. whos up for it?

>>18771662
That is not what I expected her to look like.

This is the last time we let you DM CoC. Everything was so much better when Howie was running things.

Yeah, I guess you could combine them like that. . .

Well no, but it would have this effect. . .

You bastard! You had this all planned out, didn't you!

Okay Ed, we get it, your wizard is really, really cool, and really, really great at everything. Can we have a game that isn't exclusively focused on on that old fucking man?

God, we should've just quit when he was in Hell, fucking good place for him...

Look Tom. We're totally fine with some grimdark every now and again. But... don't you think you've taken things a little far?

Why do we have to play some random alcoholic factory workers? And why do you have to put your stupid grimdark shit everywhere?

Jesus, Charles, I was just doing my backstory for my character growing up without parents. He didn't have to-

..no, Charles, I know you're trying to establish the setting, but that is startlingly detailed in how the schoolmaster abuses orphans! It's getting creepy and I just wanted to move on from the backstory to the main part of the campaign, and you're making everything depressing with all of the poverty, cruelty, and corruption. Also, stop adding 20 new NPCs every five minutes with a ridiculous name and then never mentioning them again.

When we started everything up, your character was pretty funny and all and everybody loved it but the last few sessions. . .Goddamn, man. Goddamn.

> two threads of this = best /tg/ in a long time
Art... this... this game is too creepy for me. I couldn't even sleep after last session. Let's just play Risk or something tonight, okay?

>>18768409
> immaculately written rapey eldritch horrors still not as creepy as real life pedo fantasies

>>18769210
I was at a concert where she got her front teeth knocked out by a microphone. Pretty hilarious.

So your character is a cat who is chaotic lolrandom? Damn it, Ted, keep your furfaggotry out of the game. And stop with the fucking rhyming.

Today I came back to /tg/ and this was the first thread I saw. Goddammit, I love you guys.
NOW

Look, Grant, shit man, I don't give a flying fuck about the characters you made for Millar's campaign before you quit or what's going on in Gaiman's or Moore's and how you're creating a universe between all it that melds together so well so that you're basically making this imaginary place come alive. Just run the Goddamn campaign so that I don't need an appendix to understand all of this crazy shit.

GODDAMMIT AGATHA! because you understood exactly what will come next in the game doesn't mean that you had to tell everyone what would happen! You're just ruining the fun AND the game! And that's like the hundredth time you do this!

>>18771988
>his shirt says cock

Bill, we've been playing for five sessions now. The BBEG's sidekick is a trained ninja with superhuman reflexes who lives on a spaceship. Your DMPC is a CHA 18 babe whose backstory includes a lot of rape and references to banging your character Johnny from the last campaign. The setting is as weeaboo as it gets, and you're railroading us along... I think my total contribution has been about one Computer Use check per session.

And those space Jamaicans... that was racist as fuck. Not cool, man. Not cool.

Jan, Stan, I know you're great RPers and you never do anything creepy despite your characters being couples, but...can you pick a race other than FUCKING BEARS for once?

>>18770689
jesus christ THIS. Make it stop! When Nathan Filion and Stana Katic are tired of the dance as much as the fans, you need to shake it up. Is a single date on an episode too much to fucking ask? Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest.

Great thread so far guys, quite an enjoyable read

No, you're not playing that character. He's just a blatant Mary Sue, and your homebrew race sucks. If you want to play a vampire, play a real one.
Oh, and your werewolf one is horrible too. If you're not able to creat a character, or a backstory, just leave!

No, Max, you can't just keep fudging the timeline. No, it is physically impossible for an outbreak to occur all over the US at once, especially if it had been happening all over the world for long enough to get a placebo medicine passed by the FDA. And how does every animal in the world except humans know the zombies are poison? And why is almost every NPC an idiot? Why wasn't the internet warning people? A cat video goes viral every week, but no one whips out a cell phone to record zombies? How can you smash a zombie's head in but they're not crushed by walking in the ocean?

Screw this campaign, I'm out. I can't take this much railroading.

>>18771007
>>18771001
>andrew_hussie
>implying his players wouldn't literally be insane by that point

>>18772168
>implying the players would even care rather than leaving the shitty game out of boredom after a couple of sessions
>apart from the hipsters who keep playing it "cause it's like nerdy and not mainstream"

Hey guys is it okay if I play this homebrew race I cooked up?

So this is it? Just this one little sentence for character description? That's ok I guess...

that Mega-man rippoff again?

well... that's still better that your insane cleric/medic character...

For christ's sake Herman, you're not allowed to kill the NPC barkeeper just because he kicked your ass in the barfight YOU started. Just let it go already.

Look René, we all agree that you come up with all kinds of cool ideas for this campaign, but we talked and decided that we're not quite yet ready for a game where our stats and skills might not be what reads on the sheet... which might not be for the game we are playing.

>>18771553
I think that's about the hardest I've ever lol'd at 4chan. Outstanding.

Astrid, no. This was supposed to be a straight slice of life kinda game. Yes I see that you have the points for it, I do not care. You cannot have that ridiculus strenght and a chest full of gold.

Play one of this guy's campaigns. Seriously, I recommend it. You probably won't last longer then a session, but if you make it to the end of that you'll have nothing to fear from any other That Guy ever again.

But... remember to have a psychiatrist on speed dial. Just in case, you know?

has anyone done Rowling yet?

>>18773103
In the old thread.

Dammit, I brought up FATAL as A JOKE. A FUCKING JOKE. I know there's now way you coul- wait did you write out an entire campaign already, like, preplanned and shit?

...Alright, fuck it, why not. But I can tell you right now that we're gonna need a hell of a lot of beer...

Look, Upton, I think you've got a solid grimdark vibe going on, and I'm pretty sure this could really happen in our world, but these characters... they're just too bland. I literally have no reason to care about any of these NPCs. Even the worker we've been following around for the entire game, who's had his world come crashing down, I feel like he's just a mouthpiece for you to spout some weird socialist stuff. Like when he started worshiping Socialism. What kind of god is that? What the hell?

> one day, GM shows up and starts talking about this little red dot that keeps blinking to him
> scraps current campaign, starts new one
> every couple of minutes, GM throws three coins six times, draws a bunch of lines
> seems to be determining what happens to us next by the lines he draws
> won't let us leave until the red dot says we're allowed to
> John is getting tired, asks if we can go
> GM produces Altoids tin full of white powder
> blows some in John's face

> GM holds us captive, hopped up on speed for weeks
> forces us to finish campaign
> by the end, all of our characters think they are robots
> so do two of the players
> might just be the weeks of dehydration and coke
> all those fucking lines
> yin and yang
> I keep trying to wake up
> little red dot won't let me
> GM tells me it's time to go
> I don't want to
> this basement is all I know
> this basement is all I want
> those fucking lines
> the mountain before an abyss
> three coins, six lines
> three coins, six lines
> three coins, six lines

John, no, stop.
The DMPCs? The sex scenes every session? Christ, the harem-rape dungeon alone was just... This shit has to stop man.

Fucking hell, stop swearing revenge on everyone! Those guys are way higher level than us!

And your constantly trying to disbelieve the illusion is getting really irritating. It's just a windmill. Here, I'll show you the story about the gazebo....

>>18773397
> mfw I mixed Quixote and Monte Cristo together
> I feel like such a dumas

>>18773439

*smack*

Really? I mean... Shit... is this really happening to my character right now?
I think I need a drink.

>>18771753
Don't be hating on Greenwood. I met him at AdAstra this weekend and he's a total bro with an epic beard and loves to poke fun at his own creation. :)

>>18773357
>Implying an Aldenata campaign wouldn't be awesome.

He's written stuff other than Ghost and Here there be Dragons, you know.

The succubus has taken the form of a... petite young girl with... pouting red lips and a... a... beautiful head of shining blonde hair... She seduces you. Your paladin falls.

No you don't get to roll a save.

Ok Bob, look, I'm really starting to think you just use your characters as mouth pieces for your own views. We're trying to play a game here, leave you politics at the door man.

>>18775395

Fucking captcha man.

>imglimit
>CaseyHudson.jpg

We've been running this campaign for five years. Five. Years.

FIVE.

YEARS.

It was great... possibly the best ever. Until that last session. What the fuck did you just do? I mean... I just... Did you need more time? We could have waited.

>>18773357
To be fair to Ringo, he honestly hates the Paladin of Shadows series, can't understand why anyone likes it, thinks the main character is unhealthy (to say the least), only wrote it because it got jammed in his brain and wouldn't let him write anything else, only published it under his real name because he had bills to pay, and seriously considered ending the series with the lead being found frozen to death in a wheel-well and everything turning out to be his dying hallucinations.

"John, enough with the DMPC. Yes, it's very tragic that his wife died, boo hoo. But seriously, an ex-military guy who went into computers? Does that sound familiar to everyone else? And the nerdy Tom Sunday kid has had lots of sex, and the cheerleader is a virgin? Really? And, seriously, these suits are *completely* overengineered. If I'm reading the stats right, one of these could survive a point-blank nuclear blast. And what's with the Posleen? They're basically just orcs mixed with centaurs. I like how the space-elves are screwing everyone over, but why is the DMPC one of the few people to figure it out? And why are his daughters so messed up? Oh, and don't even get me started on the Nazis. Seriously? Revived Nazis?"

>>18773026
Nor a propeller on your back.

>>18778627
Oh god now I remember those books.

They work best if you treat them as comedy.

>Carl von Clausewitz

Carl, see. I know this is aSoIaF. I know you like detail. But bugger my ass and call me Marie; your endless descriptions of strategic options and and moralist considerations bore us all to death!
And cut the endless sentences; you are not Immanuel and you never will be.

Is it bad that I dont get 98% of these?
I... just dont know any of these people...

>Robert Jordan
Doesn't kill off his PCs randomly, there's an awesome world and actions tend to have consequences, he gives all of the PCs individual plots where they each get to do awesome things, doesn't railroad anything...

He might just be the anti That GM.

>>18781020
Well... It just means you did not read many books written by important authors.