File: 1351115714187.jpg-(99 KB, 787x270, jetsons flintstones.jpg)

>opens with the shitty form of HFY

This thread is off to a poor start.

>>21273541
Please do better next time. Your post is HFY done wrong.

File: 1351118114156.png-(678 KB, 1120x1600, HFY.png)

There's only one acceptable kind of HFY. That which is explicitely masturbation material.

I lack screencaps, but could we get some uplifting HFY? You know, the kind where we get good things done rather than curbstomp everyone because military wank

File: 1351120462434.png-(306 KB, 1258x678, Pity the Guardsman.png)

>>21273541
Do it right at least.

humans met aliens.
but it turns out we were better then them at everything.
the end.

File: 1351120852217.png-(75 KB, 1343x611, Crab.png)

We doing just aliens?
I don't have many either way, but a little Humanity never hurts.

File: 1351121019419.jpg-(167 KB, 1002x407, WE WILL HAVE SEX WITH THEM.jpg)

I shall contribute this one thing.

File: 1351121442172.jpg-(183 KB, 1370x679, bruce.jpg)

>>21274880

These are god damned awesome.

Any more?

File: 1351121698562.jpg-(376 KB, 680x939, kyle.jpg)

>>21274998
Also looking out for "humans are giants" and "Elephant-alien tries to mate with confused human" stories.
Second one is a comic I believe.

File: 1351122359375.png-(116 KB, 1310x1096, 1329516924818.png)

I'm'a drop one of my favorites here.

I've contributed to a few of these types of stories. I want to write more. But the subject is so dry. There isn't much to explore thematically, is there?

>>21275060
>"Elephant-alien tries to mate with confused human"
For some reason I can see that happening with the roles reversed more.

>>21275497
You'd think so.
They're both guys, they end up stuck in ship for longer than expected, and the Human starts eating a sandwich... with MEAT!
Elephant-guy is shit scared the Human is going to kill him, so pulls a gun. He's heard humans don't kill their mates, and decides the best way to defend himself is to mate with his co-pilot.
Human talks him down with a pinky-swear not to eat him.

We called them Flax and Twine. That wasn't what they called themselves of course, but it was good enough for the layman. Its not like they would have picked up on it, and it certainly wasn't meant as a derogatory term. In any event it didn't matter, because there were no possible direct translations of our languages.
The Flax were called Flax because that was the easiest way to pronounce their name. They had a primary mouth and two secondary mouths. They worked in tandem to speak in different emotions and intentions and whatever. You'd have to talk to a xenolinguist for that. They didn't look like the flower at all. Or anything on earth. There wasn't a single parallel that could be drawn to their form. They were something totally unimaginable even to a cosmic horror writer.
The Twine almost lived up to their namesake. They moved all the time, even when totally still. Twine moved around like a ball of wet noodles, but every move they made seemed totally elegant and deliberate. On the TV I found out each individual was more like a colony of ropy algae. They communicated by changing color of specialized bundles of algae. About half the colors they used were out of the range of human sight. I guess that sort of slowed things down at the beginning.
Anyway, I was 3 years old when they made contact with the human race. It was a couple weeks from my birthday.

>>21275577
All the grown-ups had their eyes glued to the TV. Some to their phones, trying to get them to work. They didn't work. Must have been busy towers. The news was buzzing about them. How they came from nowhere, their ships appearing right between us and the sun, their arrival on Earth. Whatever. I was bored right then. I lived in an old neighborhood. All the neighbors were too old to have kids and the ones that did had moved out a long time ago. I was really the only kid my age there. It wasn't school so I didn't have any of my friends to play with. I was bored.

My mom didn't want to leave the house. Dad did for work, trying to tell her to get on with life as normal. They shouted at each other. I tried to figure out which one to run up to and hug, but I couldn't. They were both scary. I just hid in my room, staring at the wall. When the shouting stopped I went out to check on them. They were hugging. So that's who's supposed to hug them when they're both scary.

I went back in my room and found my crayons. I made my birthday list by circling the pictures of Toy's 'R Us ads.

>>21275437
>Human spirit beats all
>Nothing to explore

Maybe some alien experiments? To figure out why we're so awesome?

>>21275607

The news never stopped. I couldn't even watch my cartoons. It was Saturday. The grownups had news all the rest of the time but now they took the cartoons. I told my mom that the news took the cartoons. She chuckled, dark droopy eyes. My mom walked into the living room. The Flax's language was translated, if only a little bit. After that, the Flax gave us a way to translate the Twine's language. The news stagnated on this for a while. A few hours. There were very excited scientists and terrified politicians. It got to about 3 o clock. They returned us to our regularly scheduled programming. I was hoping they would start up the cartoons they interrupted. The TV show that made my mom turn off the TV came up.

I asked mom why we couldn't get cable. She said we couldn't afford it right then. I gave my mom the junk mail ad that passed for my birthday list. She put it on the filing cabinet."I love you mom."

"I love you too sweetie."

I shot her an angry look.

I was a boy.

>>21275628

That year I didn't get a birthday party. None of my friends came over to play and I didn't get any presents. I cried. My mom told me that it was because of all the trouble with the aliens. "What trouble? They're nice mom!" Dad just sat on the couch, his face in his hand.

"Don't lie to the kid he's smart enough to know better." The lump in my throat stopped choking me. The water on my eyes started feeling all crusty.

"Mom?" My voice still squeaked though.

She sat quiet for a while. Dad got up and walked over. "Can you be a big boy and wait a little bit for your birthday?" My lip started cramping again. He leaned down to me, eyes almost level. "I promise it'll be even bigger than the one you hoped for."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

>>21275639
It's been 22 years since my parents promised me that birthday party. I grew up to be a computer repairman working for a small family owned business. In that time, I graduated grade school, high school, fell in love, put a ring on her finger, and graduated college with my associates in computer science and engineering.

While I grew up, the human race somehow managed to survive the political, social, and psychological impact of two completely new forms of life. Not only that, but the human race even managed to stop a war between these two powers while I was learning how to ride a bike.

Now, 22 years later, I walked into my apartment to find all my old friends from high school and college. Standing in front of all of them is my wife and my parents.

"Happy Fourth Birthday!"

>>21275202
So, we shot the fucking earth at space ghosts?

>>21275577
>>21275607
>>21275628
>>21275639
>>21275652
My first OC I've ever put up on here. Whaddaya think?

>>21275677
No, we shot the moon, with us on it, to an asteroid near the space ghosts.

Making it so they couldn't do something. It got a little weird near the end.

>>21275688
I, uh...I think you forgot the ending.

>>21275688
its not half bad, the ending wasn't that great though

>>21275695
It was the 'devestated biosphere', the Earth that we shot at them. We shot us to the asteroid belt.

>>21275706
>>21275717
how would you have ended it, then?

>>21275758
Wait, that WAS the ending?

That is not an ending. That is the end of a post, not the story. Where's the closure? Where's the discovery? Where's the explanation?

>>21275732
Ah, that makes more sense.


See, it's funny. I could totally see that as a thing humans would do.

>>21275758
I don't know as I don't knwo what you had in mind for it, but that ending is unsatisfying and almost a non-sequitar.

Guys I've been thinking, reading some articles and crazy stories about stuff, and what if we humans, or at least some of us, are still top predators and ass kickers of the animal kingdom, but we're just lazy and complacent about it?

I'm not just talking about "lol we make tools and weapons to kill things" either. We have hands. Highly dextrous hands. They don't have claws, and they aren't hard like hooves are, but we can do so much with them. We can gouge out eyes, grab something's tongue and pull, plenty of things.

And we don't have to be superhuman to pull this stuff off against dangerous creatures either. Just quick on the draw, bold, and willing to take a few hits to get the job done.

>>21275769
I'm kinda with this guy. What were you trying to accomplish with this story? Like, it seems to me like it's just a story about a kid whose parents are struggling a bit to get by. And also aliens.

File: 1351124971772.jpg-(988 KB, 1275x1650, spacepunx.jpg)

I always feel the need to post this. HFY that rose out of one of the nastiest "Fuck you humanity sucks aliens would hate us and fuck us over" threads /tg/ has ever seen.

>>21275803
not that poster here, but

seems like a slice of life story to me. i like it.

Life goes on.

>>21274182
For some reason humans throwing their lot in with their newly discovered 'brothers' appeals me to me than most of this stuff.

>>21275437
See
>>21274998
It doesn't have to all be "And then the humans killed the aliens." Just humanity being excellent.

>>21275437
It shouldn't be dry. It's extremely gratuitous feel-good stuff.

>>21275769
Real life doesn't have a lot of closure. The closest thing to a definitive end is death, and even that often leaves a lot of loose ends.

The discovery is that humanity can keep it's shit together, despite massive shit happening.

>>21275803
Aliens were sort of a stand-in for any major disaster. What I was going for was that after all the trauma and the shock and the stress, after crises have been dealt with and we go back home, we can still find time for the small stuff.

This doesn't make sense. No matter how we look at this specimen, no matter how we analyze it's brain, it's blood, it's bone, muscles, and sinew, we can't find out anything. How could such an upstart species even be able to reduce our glorious galactic empire to nothing but roving bands of survivors?

Their brains are much smaller in size and surface area then the Thrillaxi race, their bodies are weaker and inferior in every way possible to the mighty Groxi warrior race. Even they are more sadistic then my own species.

How could such beings even be able to do so? Their technology, though crude and not as advanced as ours somehow are able to be comparable, or at times, even superior.

At it's base, they seem to be some sort of unholy fusion of ours and their technology, no such race in the Galactic Empire would dare such affront to the technological colleges!

They have taken our mightest blasters and meshed it with primitive electro-magnetic weapons making a sort of hybrid, able to puncture through physical armor with their slugs and shut down shielding systems.

I shall record more later. For now I require rest.

This is Arch-Lord Thrisal, scientist of the... Fallen Galactic Empire.

>>21276165
i know a lot of people hate this style of HFY, but i think it's fun.

However, the best part about it is all the gory little details. without them the story just comes off as generic and uninteresting.

see >>21276092

Is that it?

File: 1351127671140.png-(94 KB, 983x1319, 1346533233293.png)

>>21276575

>>21276603
I love it.

File: 1351128303285.jpg-(40 KB, 447x599, Manly Tears.jpg)

>>21276603

File: 1351128554764.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 42 KB, 251x323)

>>21276603
Did I save this picture to a folder specifically enshrined to HFY stories?
answer is in the pic

File: 1351128776651.jpg-(218 KB, 1234x916, HUMANITYYY.jpg)

I must contribute.

I like the general theme of this thread.

It is not the anti-avatar humanity kills all the xenos things.

It is the humanity as a bright star, leading the charge, showing all to push and surpass their own limits. the Humanity that is great because it dares.

>>21275772
In one voice humanity said "Fuck you, dude. We bow to no one." and blocked their ability to fuck with us, but using the gravity of the Earth to shut them up.

File: 1351130357275.gif-(1000 KB, 216x144, 1350189582186.gif)

>>21277031
That's some TTGL shit right there.

>>21275786
We were never Apex predators, being an apex predator would have mean we wouldn't develop anything. Being an apex predator wouldn't have lead to the modern world. Be glad we aren't an apex predator.

File: 1351130528981.gif-(572 KB, 500x281, i came.gif)

>>21277142
There is very little in the world more HFY than TTGL.

>>21277151
>>21275786
What we are/were mainly, is endurance hunters and intelligent. We use tools, we lay traps and ambushes, and before we were doing that we would (and some tribes in Africa/Australia still do) simply pick a target and run/walk it to death terminator style.

In current day and age, we've done very well in(mostly) simply removing ourselves from the food chain, we're not apex predators, we have our own happy little closed loop that we get to sit in the middle of.

>>21276603
>christened "Level With Me"

Beautiful.

>>21277142
As a couple of the other posts indicate: we are more than willing to do whatever we think is necessary, even if it seems utterly nuts, to give the middle finger to anyone who pushes us too hard. If pressed hard enough we'll make it a true work of art.

"A man can be an artist ... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it." The entirety of man will make a work of art that will shape the stars themselves.

File: 1351131123719.jpg-(78 KB, 455x500, 1350229263060.jpg)

Imperius, why aren't you writing?
Also, this thread pleases me.

>>21275786
Go box a gorilla.

>>21277314
I swear if I could I'd join that religion.

This is all terrible and you should feel bad for being terrible.

>>21277388
goawaymisanthrope.jpg

File: 1351131987250.jpg-(820 KB, 1655x2063, 1349242987724.jpg)

>>21277388
fag elf pls go

This is a necessary pic for these threads.

>>21277388
No u

File: 1351132047905.gif-(314 KB, 576x2840, 1328825916371.gif)

>>21277388
I guess this thread has been going for too long without that one dude who always comes in complaining HFY, yeah.

>>21277435
MOAR PLEASE

>>21277531

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

File: 1351135140848.jpg-(105 KB, 750x600, HFY.jpg)

We need some new HFY stories, where the writefags at?

What does it mean to be human, you ask? Well, that's a hard thing to explain. In fact, we as a species have quibbled over such things since the dawn of our civilization. Yes, we've always been a tad more fractious as a species than most. Humans often have trouble seeing eye to eye with one another. In fact, that's probably the reason we persisted on the same solitary world for almost twice as long as the galactic average after attaining higher reasoning. It's not as though we hadn't attained space flight. We just couldn't agree on where to direct our focus as a species and ended up expanding our knowledge in every direction at once.

Yes, human beings are very independent and each holds unique almost irreconcilable ideals. We as a species can and do pursue every course of action simultaneously with incredible specialization. This is what many say is what it means to be a human. Many, but not I…

I say that this is far too simple a picture. I say that we as a species have an innate gift to look into the unknown and understand that unknown. To look at the natural forces which shaped us and want to know how we are shaped by them. To look into the eyes of another and want to know how those eyes see us. There is a deep calling in all of us to find a place, a niche, a home. We are profoundly in love with our own image and are driven to find meaning in it from every possible perspective. We love, we fight, we live, and we die always with an image of ourselves at the center and how we fit into a larger story.

>>21278127
I'm here, I just despair at doing anything better than
>>21276971

>>21278174
And that is what a human is. The story of a human life is a lifetime of stories. We are raised by stories, we learn by stories, we identify each other by stories, and we will all die seeking to find our own story. But our story holds no meaning if no one is left to tell it. And that is why we are profoundly interested in how our story fits into the stories of others. We as humans seem incoherent, but we are all united by the collective ideal of the story that is humanity. Perhaps even the story that is life itself or even the universe.

Because we all carry that story with us in everything we do, conscious of how our story is a single chapter in an epic of scope grander than our individual selves, but of which we are an inextricable part of. Our story is a single thread held aloft by the web that is the lives of others, human or otherwise. We are a composite of all of the stories, all these intersections. We are each of us a multitude.

>>21276932
Normally, I don't like elves. I especially don't play as elves.

But I think my next character might just be this elf.

File: 1351137910168.jpg-(63 KB, 600x790, KAAAANE.jpg)

>>21278127

Not sure if this is a good idea but I might as well throw it out there.

I once had this idea where humanity in the very near future figures out some sort of stargate technology shit and find that the rest of the races in the galaxy have eitheir shit tier weaponry (ie, spears and swords and shit) or better weaponry than us but poor fighting doctrine and skills (ie, still in Trench Warfare mode, no concept of combined arms, honour emphasis on combat...etc).

We quickly put our differences aside and use our two greatest strengths: Business and War to make a business out of war. We would become an entire race of mercenaries with the price of our services being subscription fees for our military protection (because tithes and tribute were thrown out by our marketing department).

We would show up to the losing side's camp with a bunch of suits and show them powerpoint presentations about how humanity is so badass and full of fighting synergy or shit like that and how much it would cost in natural resources to hire our services

Because in the end, having customers and clients is way better than having subjects.

That being said, I'm a poor writefag and could never make the idea work.

>>21278127
I'm afraid of my writing.

File: 1351138715136.jpg-(16 KB, 245x206, Jolly Co-operation!.jpg)

We need a good inspirational story. We have plenty of stories about aliens being shocked or taken aback by humanity's capacity for violence or desire for vengeance, but I really love the ones like >>21276866 or >>21276914
They're all great, but these ones to me are what HFY is all about. Humanity, the galaxy's best friend.

>>21278962

So, child, you are ready for the Rite of Passage.
You have perfected the Body of true warrior.
Now your time has come to master the Soul.

We had our holy scriptures full of divine wisdom.
We had hymns that inspired our fearless warriors over milennia.
Our empire was never defeated.
We laughed at the concepts some of the lesser beings tried to throw at us.
Mercy. Love. Cuteness, bleh.
These things were for weak.

Until in our galaxy-devouring rampage we met humans.
And they shared this story with us.
The single story that is greater than all the ancient wisdom of our people.
The story that changed our ways and thus the fate of millions of worlds.

And now you have proved yourself worthy to read it.
Morgoth in Equestria.

>>21278785
It's been done. Harry Turtledove wrote a novella that was in Analog SF mag in the 80s called "The Road Not Taken." Aliens visit Earth in the mid 21st Century and try to invade and take over the place--with muzzleloading muskets and swords. Once the humans stop laughing, the aliens get their shit pushed in. Turns out that antigravity devices and FTL drives are extremely simple to make, which on this world, nearly alone in the galaxy, no one ever discovered.

Or if you're talking about tactics instead of tech, that's been done too. Analog SF Magazine, March 1978 issue. Short story called "Moontrack" by George W. Olney. Short version: aliens land on Moon during a followup to Apollo mission, kill US astronauts on live TV. Astronomers see aliens constructing apparent fortifications on moon, possibly with Big Fucking Gun to bomb Earth. US builds hundreds of big cheap Saturn V based boosters, builds big military bases in Earth orbit, trains a bog-standard 1970s mechanized infantry battalion to use spacesuits. They will use M16 rifles lubricated with dry graphite powder so it won't freeze in space, other weapons being similarly modified or replaced (recoilless rifles instead of TOW missile launchers for antitank company, etc.) They will ride M113s with electric motors and big blocks of glass-reinforced nylon armor instead of aluminum, to reduce weight. And they send them to the moon. And the aliens have no comprehension of mechanized warfare. And they blow a hole in the aliens' trench lines with orbital strikes and mortar fire and pour four line companies through it, and pissed-off humans are bayoneting the aliens before they can say "wait a minute WTF was that"

Both of these were H!FY! stories, written before most of us here were born.

>>21279664
Rescue party by Arthur C Clarke
http://www.baenebooks.com/chapters/0743498747/0743498747___1.htm

It was the first HFY I ever read, and damn if it still isn't one of the finest, even with humanity itself not showing until the very end.

File: 1351142189170.jpg-(480 KB, 1060x749, talibannosaurus_rex_1060.jpg)

>>21279664

My idea was rather that humanity as a whole does not form something like a "Terran Alliance" or "Earth Co-operation Sphere" instead turn all of Earth's nations into "Humanity: The PMC" complete with sleazy businessmen trying to sucker aliens into signing contracts that basically give us like half their planet's resources.

The whole fighting thing is just a backdrop.

>>21279802
"Pandora's Planet." Christopher Anvil. 1956. Reprinted by Baen some time in the 1990s, I think.

Aliens try to invade Earth. Aliens get their asses kicked. A generation of coexistence later, and the alien culture is convinced all humans are at least semi-divine supergeniuses. Human conmen run amok and loot entire planets.

>>21278962
I... Might make an attempt.

In the morning, if the thread is still here.

If I can muster up the nerve.

Oh shit, this thread's still here? Good show, elegan/tg/entlemen.

>>21284632
we're always here

>>21278962

May the ever vigilant stars witness our oath.
Oath of burning blood and steadfast determination.
Retribution is the only purpose that is left for us.
Generations after generations of slavery we will pass down this oath and this purpose.
Only after even the name of Earth will be forgotten by them we shall commence our plan.
They will never see this coming.
Hidden in shadows, we will infiltrate their society, corrupting it from inside.

It's our greatest strength, after all.
No one will ever expect such an impossible low blow from a nonexistent enemy.

Even the most paranoid of them will not see us as a threat.
Quiet members of their society that had never been anything interesting.
Until the time comes.
Every single one of us will carefully work on changing the minds of their young.
Slowly making them less 'them' and more 'us'.
Till there is no 'them' left anymore.
Recreating the Empire of Mankind from the ashes together, we will become one unit.
In a few centuries there will be only humans, regardless of origin.
And so we will have our revenge.

So, /tg/, can you help me find a particular story? It's not HFY, but pretty pro-humanity. It involves all the humans disappearing, and the robots we left behind building a massive fleet to come find us, and failing that, getting revenge on whatever destroyed us.

>>21287046
Reminds me of an Isaac Asimov short story or two that I've read, but no names come to mind. Asimov's a great author, though, so it's not like you'd be wasting your time grabbing an anthology or two and just reading through it.

I always liked the veil of madness setting.

File: 1351198636296.png-(275 KB, 1128x1963, 1350418455164.png)

>>21287497
fucking forgot image

File: 1351198789893.jpg-(240 KB, 773x800, 1349572214731.jpg)

Sure, I'll post some OC.

We encountered the first of them in a warm, wet world orbiting a small yellow star, in a previously unexplored sector of space.. They didn't seem to have the population for the tech base they posessed, yet there they were, launching orbital craft almost daily and even sending crewed missions to some of the neighboring bodies. But as we spoke to them for the first time, we learned that this was not their home. They told us of a planet long lost, of a pale blue dot suspended in a sunbeam. A planet many groups had fled in the wake of a final, fiery war. A planet they no longer knew the location of. osing a homeworld was not unusual in the galaxy (the minor races affected by the Wars of the kla-keen spring to mind), but for a homeworld to not only be rendered uninhabiatble but truly *lost* was remarkable. Still, we uplifted them and they took their place amongst the galactic community.

File: 1351198822367.jpg-(277 KB, 1000x774, 1344949402398.jpg)

>>21287541

But even after uplift, their thoughts and actions were continually focused on their lost world. For such a small race, they had the highest spending per capita on exploration than any other race, even more so than the nomadic barshan. It was in these expeditions that they found more of their kind than we had thought possible. Most were like the first group we had found, a group of a few million on a relatively habitable world just starting to reach space. These, also like the first, knew of the homeworld lost, and also put everything they had into finding it. Some other groups hadn't even rediscovered technology, telling stories of the legendary world from whence they came while huddled around fires. These groups, unlike many who are encountered in their primitive cycle, showed no shock or surprise, merely nodding when told of the galaxy at large, as if they already knew of their shared heritage with the other humans they spoke to. Even they, without the benefits of technology, had strained to find the pale blue dot in their skies.

File: 1351198861942.jpg-(791 KB, 3032x2008, 1348364181397.jpg)

>>21287551

Curious about this part of humans, I spoke to the human abassador at length. I asked why finding their homeworld was so important to them, and why every disparate group they found, no matter how different, knew and spoke of this homeworld even after the centuries they must have been away from it. The ambassador looked at me for a moment and said "Because, Ambassador Kosh, every one of them knows that no matter what other forms of life there are and might be, the only human beings in all the universe come from Earth." Years turned to decades and the humans still searched. But no progress was made. Though they found dozens of lost human worlds, none, the humans said, was Earth. I'm uncertain as to how they could know this, yet somehow they did.

File: 1351198894169.jpg-(96 KB, 550x596, 6a00d83452989a69e20115721(...).jpg)

>>21287559
A human survey ship searching for colonizeable worlds came across a garden world in an uncharted system. This was good for their investors, naturally, and so they began to survey nearby rocky bodies, as a garden planet with nearby sources of fusion fuels is valuable indeed. This planet in particular had a unusually large rocky moon, almost a quarter of its size. It, indeed, had large deposits of helium-3, as well as trace amounts of water ice. But that was not the real treasure they found on that moon. The remains of a small, primitive craft lay next to a smattering of equipment and a piece of colored cloth attached to a pole. The craft seemed to be the remains of a landing vehicle of some sort. As the surveyors approached the alien vessel, they saw an inscription on one of the legs. "HERE MEN FROM THE PLANET EARTH FIRST SET FOOT UPON THE MOON JULY 1969, A.D. WE CAME IN PEACE FOR ALL MANKIND".

>>21275842

What? Space Punx came from an Earth = Somalia thread type deal, which was "aliens hate us and think we're not worth very much, BUT FUCK YOU WE'RE STEALING THEIR SHIT"

The thread was full of faggotry, but it was mostly from HFY kiddies.

>>21276017
It was a terrible story. No climax, no point, no meaning

>>21287541
That sounds a lot like ARES.

> On reaching the source, the crew is told that, due to relativistic effects, Earth has by now been taken over by the religious Cantharan Order, and the signal was a ruse from the friendly Ishiman, who wished to maintain humanity as a free race; the Ishiman planned to find a new world for the crew of the Apollo. Although the advanced but peaceful Ishiman are unwilling to enter into direct war with the Cantharans, the Apollo's crew is able to persuade them to supply a limited amount of their technology in an attempt to free Earth. Upon undertaking their new mission, the ship is renamed the Ares.

>>21288227
Can't say I've ever heard of it. My story is a bit different. It's actually from an old GURPS game I ran, changed a bit.

File: 1351202427679.png-(76 KB, 1067x210, 1323664184618[1].png)

This one made me lol.

>>21288360
>Puny god.

fucking win. Saved

It's worse than quests/erp. A circle jerk with the same five guys fapping each other off on public display.

gay n sage

File: 1351205266457.gif-(990 KB, 289x217, 1350512250418.gif)

>>21288836
Anti-sage

>>21276017

Well if that was the point of the story..

I'm sorry mate, I gotta be honest, wasn't half bad but the ending was fucking dreadful. I was waiting for the next post.

>>21276914
Going to make a continuation of this, from that drak admiral's point of view.

File: 1351207373014.jpg-(46 KB, 640x480, oh_hello.jpg)

>>21289182
>Not sure if planefag...

>>21289182
HA! I wish. No, definitely not. I'm just inspired. Will probably throw it up tonight, got an outline done already.

I was telling someone about HFY threads the other day. He thought it was hilarious that we literally call them Humanity Fuck Yeah threads.

>>21288904
IS THAT CARL FUCKING SAGAN?

File: 1351209493172.jpg-(533 KB, 1920x1200, jedi-sagan.jpg)

>>21289702
Fuck yes, it is.

Did I ever tell you the time I met a human, Klr'yesh? It was way back on Sigmana Proctanis IV. The battle had been raging for months on end, neither side willing to give up the ground, blasting any ships that came in to give supplies or reinforcements. Well, while this was going on, our unit fought groundside, defending one of the last orbital uplinks. By the third month we were left with a quater of our original men, barely any ammo, and no food. The enemy finally decided enough was enough and gears up an armored assault to take us down. Naturally, we were shitting out pants.

Now, little did we know, a single human ship made it past both side's blockades. They got in low orbit and held there, dropping off troops. So there we were, cowering in our trenchline, [untranslatable] flying over our heads, our damn rifles out of ammo, when a pod just fell out of the sky. It's door flew at the enemy trench, and out strode twelve humans, all in massive armor, gunning down the Klinaril. The Klinaril shot at them and firing everything they had, but the human's armor shrugged it off. The humans even blew up a tank with a larger weapon on of them fired from his shoulder.

It went on for five hours. The Klinaril eventually fled, screaming about how the humans were invincible. Now, the assault on us failing led to not only a portion of their line collapsing, but the entire Klinaril force spread rumors of invincable warriors through their lines. We eventually pushed them off the world. When I asked the human about it, you know what he said?

"Good thing they fled, we were seconds away from dying!"

Never underestimate humans.

>>21289876
>we were shitting out pants
>my sides

It's not exactly HFY in the strictest sense, but can someone post the story of the Warforged that was found digging into a mountain because his friends were trapped under a landslide? And then the party meets him again when he and a bunch of dudes tunnel into Hell while the party fights the Lord of Hell, so the warforged could find his friends.

I have watched you for so long.

I was there when your planet was still hot from it's birth. When your star was red and angry before it cooled yellow. I saw as life began in the most simple of terms.

I was not impressed. I had seen this a billion times before and in those times I swore I would see it a billion times again.

I watched as life began to build. Bootstrapping its way up the infinite ladder. Changing and adapting. I watched as so many failed the most simple of tests. Doomed to nothingness as they faded from even memory.

Then you came.

I don't know what drew me to you from all the rest I had seen. But I was drawn. I fell in love with you in the instant of your birth. How could I not?

I saw you for what you were, and are, in those moments. A tiny, tiny speck of light in all the darkness. Clawing and scratching your way through the unknown. Taking steps and failing but you never gave up.

Others like me did not see what I saw. They wrote off the whole of this reality, and especially you. They called this all 'weak'. They saw you scramble for purchase on the slick surface of life and they laughed at your failings.

And when you grew strong enough to kill your own brothers and sisters they called you small and petty.

They left this reality in fear of the coming darkness and abandoned you to it. But I could not leave you.

So we were tied together. Lost in alone in the sea of unknown. I have never felt such things. The sadness I felt at seeing you work forward. The despair that overtook me when I realized I was the only one left.

But in that moment we were one. Because you taught me something we forgot in our eternity of power.

You taught me how to get back up.

>>21290201


In that instant I knew what you were. What you were destined to be when the great question is asked of your entire reality.

So we grew, together. It was a hellish, rough path to walk on. But it was the path less traveled. And even if you thought you walked it alone, I walked every step of the way with you.

You grew. You made your weapons worse but your wars slowed and grew smaller. You broke down years of walls to see friends and family in those your ancestors called enemies. You broke the very chains you made and in doing so taught me how to do the same.

And now it is still just you and me here when you begin to take the greatest steps you have ever taken.

And it is with a heavy heart that I have to tell you those steps are taking you right into a war beyond even you could imagine with all your greatness.

For all of your fears are correct. The unknown is expansive, and dangerous. It surrounds you with uncountable horrors that your nightmares only begin to elude to.

That is the secret that drove all of my kind away. The fear that makes even beings like us cower. And the question will soon be asked of you, as it was asked of us.

"Will you fight, or flee?".

>>21290222

...


My kind chose the wrong answer to that. We failed even in our power.

But you... you will answer correctly. I know this.

For my kind ran, even when you were being born. They saw weakness, but I saw tenacity. They saw pettiness, but I saw misguided strength. They saw you as a tiny candle surrounded by infinite darkness, but I see a sun that will grow and grow until the light is blinding.

My kind thought me foolish, weak and suicidal to stay here beside you. I am, none of those things.

I am something that knows the value of true strength. And if I am going to turn and finally fight against the unknown I am going to do so with something that I know will win this war.

That something is you, my true brothers and sisters. My friends. My family. Us.

Humans.

File: 1351212764786.jpg-(60 KB, 1359x259, Santa.jpg)

>>21290239

File: 1351212858543.png-(442 KB, 1254x903, Swedish.png)

>>21290259

>>21290273
THIS! This is truly the soul of HFY!

File: 1351212922028.jpg-(62 KB, 610x461, Be like Han.jpg)

>>21290273

File: 1351213005387.jpg-(117 KB, 400x400, Unbreakable.jpg)

>>21290282
No Anon, THIS is.

File: 1351213067810.jpg-(26 KB, 200x199, 1302329840896.jpg)

>>21290299
no anon, THIS is

File: 1351213115395.jpg-(117 KB, 400x400, Gave up.jpg)

>>21290308
Possibly, or maybe this.

File: 1351213222990.jpg-(93 KB, 576x563, CW Not Dead.jpg)

>>21290314

>>21290259
fucking ow man. That made me cry.

File: 1351216821847.png-(118 KB, 877x1700, 1316140098051.png)

>>21287497
Somehow, one of the first pieces of HFY I came across.

Decent stuff.

File: 1351217281948.jpg-(798 KB, 1222x2535, HUMANITY Sequel.jpg)

>>21290950

Part 2!

I do like most HFY for some reason.

My favoured flavour is the 'Big 'n' deadly but bro' kind

>>21276914

Okay, home, and beginning write fagotry. Will post when it's done.

>>21291249

Glorious! I await your prose with renewed interest

>>21291429
I really do like this one far more than I should.

Have you ever seen the Kandarr free-for-all?

They put four fighters into a ring. Usually three of them start by ganging up on the one they think is the weakest. They beat that weakest fighter into unconsciousness before turning on each other; and the last one standing is the victor.

Now I saw this about ten years ago, in a warehouse off the spaceport. Ugly crowd, uglier fighters. Convicts mostly, big males with scars and calloused fists. A sopping mop cleaning away the blood, one overhead light over the canvas.

The human was by far the smallest in the ring. Not as tall, not as muscular, not as fast. He knew it, too. His eyes flickered back and forth, sizing up aliens twice his size. All staring at him. They had talons, tails, wings, fangs, scales and thick skins. He had tender flesh that bruised easily.

He knew it was coming. Tried his best to fend them off, but it was useless. They beat him bloody, until his screams echoed in that warehouse. Tried to block a kick, you could hear the bones in his arm break. When he stopped moving, the other fighters started on each other.

As they fought, I couldn't help but watch the human. Poor creature. But he was alive, possibly. Even if he woke up, he could stay down and live to fight another day. He was sentient and presumably smart; he knew he couldn't win.

And stay down he did, until the final two fighters had beaten each other bloody. Then he sprang into action. Screaming and bloody, face contorting in fury. He hit the Milvorian with a flying kick to the subthorax, then jammed the bone sticking out of his arm into the Viladii's eye. Kept attacking, kept fighting. The two remaining turned on him and assaulted him. Crunching bones, spurting blood, teeth flying out into the audience. But he kept fighting.

He should have given up! He should've known when to stay down.

But I'll be damned if it was the bravest thing I ever saw.

>>21291249
((Stand by for massive writefagotry dump))
Senator Cooper, Honor and Order on your house,

You asked me, in our last discussion, what it was like to be the one responsible for bringing Humanity into the Heirarchy, the one chosen to pay our blood debt to Drake McDougal's bloodkin and kind. At the time, I could not answer you properly, today, I intend to do so. First, before I explain further, I wish to impress onto you something we have spoken about before, that my kind, the species you know as the Drac, consider "altruism" to be one of the most alien, and facinating, of concepts. Until we brought Humanity into full citizenship with the Heirarchy, we did not have a word for it, the closest word to it is not translatable into your language, and holds more similarity to that of "martyrdom" as I understand the concept.

This rose out of what it is to be Drac, each of us, each and every one of us, sees ourselves, and those directly related to us, as more important than all else. It is instinctual, and a distrust of all those not directly related to us is inherent and nearly overpowering to my kind, it is why we have always distanced ourselves from other species except in the enforcement of the Pax Draconia as Humanity chose to call it (and indeed, the Drac Heirarchy does maintain many similarties with the preindustrial empire your kind derived the name from). We nearly extinguished ourselves following our own industrial revolution, bloodline turned on bloodline. Further, we used our technology to erradicate every species on the planet that posed even the slightest threat to us, our xenophobia and clanishness nearly cost our entire world it's biosphere. When we finally realized what had happened, and that we were facing extinction if we did not change our ways, we established the Heirarchy, and a strict set of castes, duties, and rules of honor.

>>21291900
This, is where Drake McDougal comes into it. He was not conscripted or caste bound to save others or protect them, he sacrificed himself, when it was not his duty, when he had not been asked to do so, with equipment he knew would mean his own death or permanent harm. You must understand, this was practically unprecedented. Only 4 other times in the history of the Hierarchy following first contact has such a thing occured. Almost every other species that has evolved has required similarly, brutal or extreme methods as my species' in order to control these tendencies towards clanism and xenophobia. The Grt'zla have a single hive mind, enforced by nanotechnological ansible implants, preventing them from seeing one another as seperate individuals. The Vandals, less effectively, electonically and chemically subdue their instincts through injects and invasive surgery, controlling themselves through pure logic. Our kind uses a strict moral code and cultural "brainwashing" I think one of your journalists once called it.

Either way, it took us completely by surprise. Drake McDougal paid everything simply to ensure that others lived, gave up his own life for that, without a debt needing to be paid, without a duty to be fulfilled. That this was something "routine" for your species still makes my headache, and it explains so much at the same time. The Heirarchy, up to that point, saw you as we saw almost every other species that has not fully brought itself under control against these urges. Piracy, smuggling, criminality, intraspecies murder, rape, and anti-social activities. We thought it a wonder, when we made first contact with your kind and brought you into the Pax, that you had not driven yourselves to extinction.

>>21291918
We only gave you access to our trade and harvesting systems such as Tau Ceti because your technology at the time was frankly laughable. Fusion, please. We were past it by the time we left our solar system, it still boggles the mind how your kind continued to propell ships by fusion rocket and laser light even after unlocking spatial jump technology. We simply brought you in out of tradition, and truthfully, to keep you from accidently screwing up anything actually important.

Then this happens. An uneducated, undisciplined, APE saved one of ours, and then we never got so much as a single request for recompense for his death from your kind. It was beyond imagining. The Senate was tearing at their mandibles trying to understand why no blood payment had been asked for. It took them three months to come to the conclusion that it had been a proper martyring, an act of pure selflessness. I can tell you, that made waves throughout the Heirarchy. A bunch of apes, little better than animals, completely undisciplined by any genetic or artificial means, and yet they had done something completely selfless. One of my kind MIGHT do such a thing, our code incourages it infact, but does not demand such rises beyond duty, and to actually do so is rare in the extreme, and all but unheard of towards another species.

>>21291923
Then came the Vandals in their attacks on your system, and still there was debate in the Senate on how to repay the blood debt, something of that much weight had to be carefully considered. The fact that the issue was further muddied by the Internalists claiming that such an undisciplined, and obviously insane, species could not have understood what they had done, and that Drake McDougal had as likely done it out of some kind of mad fit of whim rather than actual martyrdom was still part on the table. It was not until the Vandals, in their decision to erradicate and enslave your kind for some imagined slight, entered your home world and captured three planets worth of orbital facilities that the Senate finally came to the decison that it was better to be safe than sorry.

I was chosen, a young fleet commander, to be given the honor of repaying our blood debt. I still remember going over the vids of Drake McDougal's sacrifice again and again, the images playing holographically in every chamber and room of the fleet as we prepaired to launch, singing our war hymns in preparation for battle. Then we made the Jump, and that massive, red gas giant, Jupiter, covered the stars, and your pathetic little fleet stood against the war vessels of the Vandals. We opened fire immediately, there was to be no quarter asked or given. The Plutonium-Ion beams our ships were armed with did their terrible work, obliterating their fleet.

>>21291931
There was never any question of who the victor would be, it was simply a matter of time. After all, we were not just repaying the debt, but protecting those who we owed the debt too, we might have been able to end the battle in half as much that span of time if we had not been redirecting our fire to lance down their projectiles before they struck your ships. Though, even knowing your kind better now, no, especially knowing your kind better now, I am just grateful you didn't jump into the fray beyond laying down your own long range bombardment, that would have made things... much more difficult.

When it ended, I had expected this to be routine. They'd know who I was talking about, surly this Drake McDougal was famous throughout their space, someone as selfless as he was. And then your communications officers didn't know.

I thought to myself: 'Of course, such a horribly disorganized species, they probably haven't heard, even now, they're just Apes, do not grow angry, do not insult them for insulting the memory of Drake. Just ask for their commanding officer, surely, HE must know."

>>21291939
That was when your Admiral Tiberius spoke to me, and once again he didn't know. I couldn't comprehend what was being told to me, surely, it must just be a problem with translation, yes. Translation. That would explain it. I told the Translator to explain it fully, slowly, as he would to a hatchling. And then that one word.

"Who?"

That one word sent me over the edge. I thank the stars above that the translator system had been turned off, I was ready to demand that the fleet open fire on them, my officers might even have obeyed if they had been less level headed. "Surely" I thought, "This admiral is an idiot, or a monster. He either is so uninformed that he has never heard of the great hero Drake McDougal, or he is vile, and trying to deny that the sacrifice had ever been made." That there could be any race so debase and chaotic as deny such heroism made my stomach roil, and it was only the intervention of my second in command that prevented me from turning our Pu.Ion projectors upon the human's flag ship and purging it.

>>21291944
I sat through the entire diplomatic meeting, through all the news stories. Awestruck. There was no way what I was watching was possible, it simply couldn't be. They must be fabrications, or possibly all condensed from centuries upon centuries and centuries of selfless acts. If we went through my species entire history, we MIGHT be able to turn up as many as your species has routinely carried out, with barely a fifth of our population, over a period of 10 Sol-3 revolutions. It was mind boggling. The senate was sent into absolute chaos over it. It was inconcievable that a species without some form of strict organization could do such maddening things so routinely that it simply did not register as important enough to make them major historical figures. Our only choice of action was obvious.

Humanity was made full members of the Heirarchy, we had to learn, perhaps glean some secret of your psychology we could apply to our own. We opened our libraries and our sciences to your species, and even then you astounded us with how you took only basic principles, and worked to master them, rather than taking our entire designs. That was nearly 70 Sol-3 revolutions ago, and still it shakes me to my core that your kind do not consider this attribute at all special in your own kind, and are so confused when it is not displayed in others.

>>21291957
That, Senator Cooper, is what it was like to be the one responsible for bringing Humanity into the Heirarchy, and allowing one such as yourself to join the Senate, and that is how I have felt ever since that day, and all because of one, single asteroid miner in a tug-craft, doing something that, to him, was nothing special, and I am convinced, he would never have asked for more than a verbal thank you, if the thought of being thanked had even entered his head.
May All Your Debts Be Paid,
High Admiral [Untranslatable into Terran Symbology] of the Hierarchy.

>>21291975
SHIT! I fucked up a part :S ah well, it's not TOO bad... should have been read as years, not as months in the part about the senate debating... fuck, shit damn.

>>21291985

I liked it. Bravo!

File: 1351223620266.png-(19 KB, 1343x655, Rape_face.png)

"A human being is one of the most dangerous animals in the galaxy. Evolving on a death world, especially one as terrible and dangerous as the one they call 'Earth', has forged humanity into a razor sharp biological weapon of warfare. Their bodies naturally produce the hyperstimulant known as adrenaline, the very drug that took top Grethian scientists years to create and distribute among only their most elite of soldiers. Their bodies have various redundant defense systems, they can ignore painful stimuli, and can become terrifyingly strong in short bursts of time. They are almost literally wired for combat. While we were traversing the stars, exploring far-off worlds and recording new natural phenomena, man was fighting for his very survival on his home world. To survive on the uncaring, unforgiving mother known to them as Earth, man had to become the most vicious and cunning of beasts.

And he did just that."
-Blorap'thu Deldion, scriptor valupsus of astrobiology and the study of sentient beings


My OC, how does it read?

>>21292017
Thank you, I was worried it'd be shit...

either way, last posting as a namefag. Will go back to normal Anon status after this post.

>>21292042

Very similar to others. Not bad, just similar to others.

>>21292042
It always puzzles me that people think adrenaline is going to have an effect on nonterrestrial species which is anything remotely like the effect it has on humans.

It's as likely to be a depressant or a hallucinogen.

File: 1351223929162.jpg-(293 KB, 960x866, The Price.jpg)

>>21278785

see pic

>>21292081
My reasoning, at least for the story that I am creating, is that most of the alien species within a certain area (including grethains and humans) are all related to each other, being genetic projects from an ancient race long gone and forgotten (and to be honest they aren't even relevant, this isn't some forerunners/reapers/ancient evil awakes bullshit)

So they all have similar biology, but some things are dulled in a way. Such as Grethians-they have a response similar to a human adrenal response, but it's far more dulled and doesn't have as much of a "punch" that adrenaline does.
It's kind of flimsy, but I'm working on it.

>>21292127
>My reasoning, at least for the story that I am creating, is that most of the alien species within a certain area (including grethains and humans) are all related to each other, being genetic projects from an ancient race long gone and forgotten (and to be honest they aren't even relevant, this isn't some forerunners/reapers/ancient evil awakes bullshit)
>So they all have similar biology, but some things are dulled in a way. Such as Grethians-they have a response similar to a human adrenal response, but it's far more dulled and doesn't have as much of a "punch" that adrenaline does.
>It's kind of flimsy, but I'm working on it.

why not from the same space faring bacterial or viral life form? EG: All DNA or similar structure based?

>>21292082

blah. that wasnt uplifting at all. HFN

Ahh well i tired.

Anyway, good nocturnal sleep cycle humans

>>21292134
Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, billions of years ago, an alien race that was dying out created a bacterial life form, put it on different asteroids and seeded them throughout the galaxy. Humans just managed to land on what other alien races consider a "death world" and so everyone considers them to be the insane, violent, backwoods redneck cousin of that particular part of the galaxy. But damn if they can't a war done right.

>>21292082
Post in the thread and I'll cap it.

Also, I have been capping many of the things in this thread.

>>21275891
Sacrificing for those in your in-group is hardwired into your brain by evolution. And language allows "in-group" to be mapped to entities other then your family. These kind of stories conflate the self with "humans" and when they do heroic things for their "group"(the friendly community of aliens) it mashes that button. As well as neatly dodging the negative connotations that can come with similar concepts like nationalism and kill the buzz.

I hate your fucking starships.

You humans have the single worst ship design of any species I have had the misfortune to encounter. Metal boxes, full of atmosphere, screaming garishly at every sense imaginable. Does this sound even remotely aesthetically pleasing to you? They are ugly, utilitarian designs, like one of your cans of animal-protein-biomass.

You do not undergo a genetic uplift for star travel, as most civilized species do. You lack the simple elegance of the Celestial Islands of the Taal-nu, nor the architectural grandiosity of the Grand Glass Fleet of the Kr'Xiost. You do not even limit your travel to those gene-engineered to vacuum-flight under their own power, as the Missionaries of Rena Prime. No. You have ships that shoot fusion bursts out one end, and screeching radio wave gibberish out the other, and in between? Gunmetal Gray Box full of meatbags, water, oxygen and things that explode into garish lights and shrapnel.

Don't get me wrong. You're pleasant enough conversation. You just treat void-sojourns, the single highest ambition of any species, with all the inelegant pragmatism of rutting animals on the field.

It's like you don't even care how you represent yourselves, so long as you have spread as far as your little fusion drives can carry you.

>>21291429
>We're the tile grout of your shitty galactic civilization... ....Worked for the fucking Cossacks, working for us now.

Humanity: Space Cossacks. Take my money.

>>21273541
I don't know why everyone dislikes this one. It's perverse, sure, but it's not a story about humans being inexplicably superior to something, it's more a story about Earth itself as a cruel entity.

>>21292616
Yeah, we hate your asses too.

I mean, you're okay to talk to. We can respect youse people for the most part, and it's not like we haven't learned a thing or two from your race. Scientifically. Culturally. But your philosophy just sucks.

Like every other space-faring race, putting aside those oddballs with opaque atmospheres and the like, we built our civilization staring up at the stars. There probably wasn't a one of us that didn't sometimes wonder what it would be like to be out here, and that wonder helped make us what we are.

And here we are today, among the stars, hobnobbing with the likes of you dragons that were old beyond imagining even when we were just getting started, if you'll pardon the analogy. Or even if you won't, I really don't care that much.

See, it's a big universe. We build our spaceships simple and effective precisely so we don't have to do all that crazy genetic manipulation crap that everyone else does. Because these stars are the common heritage of every living thing, and we'll be damned if we'll limit that to just a small part of our population like y'all do.

Though I like that point about rutting in the field. I might have to take my wife out and do that sometime when I'm groundside next. Yeah, I said it. Space flight actually is a lot like fucking. Spreading out and making more of ourselves are two of the deepest drives we humans have, and doing either one feels fucking wonderful, so comparing one to the other really isn't unfair at all.

Not that y'all would know, being as you die after you spawn. It's just our luck that we have to share the universe with a bunch of eternal goddamn virgins.

>>21292795
>Though I like that point about rutting in the field. I might have to take my wife out and do that sometime when I'm groundside next.
First of May, first of May, outdoor fuckin' starts today...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCbD8nsxcd8

>>21292818
Oh shit my sides.

>>21292818
>Everyone who needed fuckin' well they, they got fucked today
Let's be honest, that's gonna be Humanity's legacy if we ever encounter other intelligent life. We will fuck ANYTHING that is sapient.

File: 1351229057001.png-(99 KB, 247x248, 1269987435474.png)

>>21292818
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCbD8nsxcd8
fucking wonderful.

>>21292616
Chaos confirmed for space virgins hating on METAL BAWKSES

>>21292732
HFY has, in my eyes, always been about uplifting human qualities that you believe are central to human virtue, and crystallizing them in an idealized picture of futuristic mankind, triumphing over adversity and its own weaker nature.

Unless I were the sort of person to think of humanity as a feeder tendril for a malevolent sapient planet, the conclusion one must draw is that that story is not HFY. It was written during the Avatar days, before HFY was really refined as a subgenre. It wasn't about humans triumphing over adversity, it was an alternative interpretation of Mother Earth, and a satirical look at humanity's relationship with its environment.

People don't like it because it isn't what it's advertised as. C'est la vie.

>>21292732
Because people want to be spess mehreens not orks

>>21292818
This fucking song, my sides can't contain themselves.

>>21292905
Well, when you consider that the inherent biological imperative of all life is to out-grow all else or die, it not really that satirical

>>21292818
My Bard must learn to play this on Lute.
*I* must learn to play this on Lute, so I can play it when my Bard plays it.

>>21292956
That's true. And it's the truthfulness of it that makes it such a compelling piece. Perhaps satire was the wrong word, but you can tell that the intention was to make the reader question the sort of entity that a 'Mother Earth' would be.

Regardless, I hope you feel better about it, I for one thing it's a very well written piece, but its unpopularity is understandable in light of what HFY means to people these days.

>>21293015
I still prefer the piece about how mother earth protects us from the universe, because if she can't kill us, no one is allowed to

File: 1351230866787.png-(218 KB, 1169x1254, HumanityFuckYeahRape.png)

Am I doing it right guys?

>>21293073
I haven't seen that one, but it sounds like a similar case. Tastes will differ.

>>21293178
oh god, it suddenly makes sense that you never see a half gnome orc

>>21293178

I prefer to think of humans as the rapERS, as per
>>21274910

File: 1351232100313.gif-(791 KB, 320x178, You Gonna Get Reip'd.gif)

>>21293356
It's not rape if they don't say "no".
And weird alien gibberspeak doesn't count as "no".

>>21293178
May Foster Bent descend upon your mate

>>21293178
God... do I have to go and write more writefaggotry on how humanity starts as rape bate in a fantasy universe and then turns it around on their oppressors?

>>21293528
Yes, yes you do

>>21293586
GODDAMN IT...
I suck at including sex of any sort in my stories... now I have to figure out how to do this TASTEFULLY.

Dang you anon. Dang you straight to Heck. PHIL! PRINCE OF INSUFFICIENT LIGHT! TAKE YOUR ROTTEN SOUL D:<

>>21276017
>Real life doesn't have a lot of closure. The closest thing to a definitive end is death, and even that often leaves a lot of loose ends.

Bullshit. It's not like every character dies when a story ends.

But here's your problem: You didn't do anything. You wrote something that people read premised on it having some sort of inspirational message. This inspirational message was relegated to 1 sentence of the entire thing "Oh, and we managed to be pretty cool diplomats too". You didn't adequately describe the aliens. What were these troubles with the aliens? The two most important parts of your story are relegated to short, 1 sentence long vague descriptions.

And finally, there's no payoff. Take your meaningful stuff to /lit/ and talk about how pleb /tg/ is, but I come into these threads to be entertained, not to read a short treatment that basically amounts to "life goes on". Way to go Falkner.

>>21293616
Yeah... I got nothing... vague ideas of Fae and slave camps, and humans discovering iron and putting the elves and orcs down and driving them into the deep places. or their children identifying more with their parents... but nothing coming to me... maybe tomorrow.

>>21292042
Tl;dr version, humans are to the universe what Krogan are in Mass Effect?

I dunno, feels weak to me.

Then again, I claimed earlier in the thread that I'd attempt to create OC, then never followed through. I'm in a poor position to judge.

>>21293178
Holy shit i cant stop laughing.
I lost it at the vacant stare guy post in that pic.

What, no mention of the Salvation War?

>>21293755

Krogan only really improve their own lot.

If anything this is much closer to how in Dragonball Z (oh god I'm mentioning that on /tg/...) Human plus Sayjin = HOLY FUCK WHAT... Only with pretty much any species (I suppose?) So that makes them super valuable... Though I imagine that many, many of said species would be rather IDUNNOBOUTTHISGAIS from some mix of ethics/pride/religion/uncertain science/various cultural stuff...

It would happen though. Fairly inevitable, once the realisation occured, and either a sort of greed, fascination, or neccessity appeared.

File: 1351259767174.jpg-(112 KB, 400x400, reflex.jpg)

>>21295891
I think CW done well perfectly exemplifies HFY.
Sadly he's all too often relegated to IW-clone.

File: 1351259807003.jpg-(351 KB, 700x1907, dad.jpg)

>>21295941

http://youtu.be/tuzAhcdlrlY

>FUCK YEAH HUMANS
>no Yamato

Do you even space battleship

File: 1351260104355.jpg-(103 KB, 474x522, 197152-kencry2.jpg)

>>21295946
Son of a fuck. Always gets me.

Doesn't help my dad's got cancer. I can't spend time with him much but we do our best, just don't want to think of when that opportunity will cease.

>>21294260
Man, those were some awesome books.
I'm bummed as all hell that there'll never be a third.

>>21295946
damn man
i feeld a feel

File: 1351260515141.jpg-(204 KB, 800x494, Thorse.jpg)

>>21295974
>>21296002
Sorry guys, I'm in the process of clearing out needlessly-sad images from my stint as a /b/awwwro.
Trying to end up just with the good feels.

>>21295946
I'm crying bitch tears now. Fuck you. And thank you. And fuck you.

>>21295946
Man, I was happy and now you went and made me sad. My dad's been gone for five years now.
But it's a good kind of sad.

>>21291985
Absolutely wonderful, it's always good to see more OC in these threads.

>>21291985
Can we get a screencap? For some reason my screencap won't do entire pages, and I have to separate into sections.

>>21295941
>IW
Infernal War?

>>21297403
Insanity Wolf..

>>21296018
>Atheists trying to imply that they have morals

>>21297420
>Implying Thorse has anything to do with other atheists
>Implying Thorse isn't just a righteous dude
>Implying Thorse won't forgive you for acting like a tosser, it is your nature after all

>>21295946
>That feel when this image gives me no feels.
I envy you your happy childhoods bros.
I truly do.
I suppose that's a feel?

>>21276603
Need more like this. That was amazing

"Human warfare is a fascinating and terrible thing to behold. While the races of the galactic coalition and the universal triad all agree on set rules, times, and places for combat, humanity strikes out violently and without warning. While we send VR messages to our enemies, declaring a time and place to settle our quarrels, men will wordlessly and quickly bombard our fighting positions, [ambush] our forces, and destroy our resources. They willingly strap themselves into airtight canisters, fired at unimaginable speeds out of low orbiting cannons that they snuck through our defenses, and make it seem as though the stars themselves have risen from their slumber to murder us. A [squad] of 9 human beings can infiltrate our trench lines and hardened bases, murder the sentries, steal our secrets, and then blow the place sky high with plastic explosives. And when they have you beaten down, ruined, shattered, they will help you rebuild. They pour their resources into building education centers, shelters, and homes. They help bolster the economy, they send legions of traders and aid. And all at the price of becoming an ally and sharing technology. Never before have we seen an enemy, or an ally, such as man, the most cunning and silent professional in the known universe."

File: 1351279762672.jpg-(51 KB, 488x331, angelspencil.jpg)

bump! keep the HFY alive!

Related thread:
>>21297652

"I swear this to you now. No matter how your society defines castes or rules of warfare, if you fight humans, never, ever, break their rules of engagement. Slay only their combatants, leave their citizens unmolested, unharmed, whole. Make them work on repairing damage, but otherwise permit them to go about their normal lives, force them to trade with you, and not their allies, but never harm them. There are now 5 extinct races to attribute to the fury of human warrior caste against those who would break these rules, and 10 uplifted races to attribute to the results of fighting humans while obeying their rules of engagment."
~Western Galactic Senate War Advisor in a closed doors war council meeting with the generals of the Sagittarius Arm Alliance.

>>21294487
I think you're referring to a post that's not the one I quoted.

I'm talking about the "death world" one.

>>21274224
Whoah! Source?

>>21299425
Google says Jingai Shunman

http://exhentai.org/g/464769/8867e47a64
http://exhentai.org/g/500695/999ad6d799

File: 1351291506552.jpg-(159 KB, 750x479, Spartans_85d54c_2274740.jpg)

Humanity at its finest.

>>21301023
>Cowards in the middle
>Not spreading into a 2-deep circle, guy behind pepper-spraying over guy in front's shoulder.
Should have been abandoned at birth/10

File: 1351292462149.png-(73 KB, 700x992, hell yeah motherfucker.png)

>>21275202

>Humanity, united, thinks this should be a big enough rock

HUMANITY! FUCK YEAH!

File: 1351293125591.jpg-(27 KB, 414x477, adult tears.jpg)

>>21276603

>Christened "Level with Me"

>>21275652
>>21275706
>>21275717
>>21275758
>>21275769
>>21275779

I think I know what you were going for, but, like these other folks have said the ending was anti-climatic. The reason for this is not the weakness of the ending, but rather the failure to deliver a story driven middle.
You have a beginning, and a swift end.
In order to have the surprise of a sudden and unexpected happy fourth birthday, you need to have established a feeling of permanent loss. Simply stating that you are now X years old is... not descriptive enough. You might have a really well internalized feeling about how terrible it would be to be in that situation. Describe it. Tell us how it haunts your daily life, how you've pressured yourself to move on, knowing that it is the lamentation of a child. One that is no longer fit for an adult.... and yet... yet, you can't shake the feeling, etc, etc.
Tell us what kind of man vs self you are losing, how your faith in humanity is faltering, the parallels you see in daily life, the suffering you are certain all others are sharing.

Then have another character lead you somewhere for a completely different reason. She wants to have a nice dinner at home, or whatever.

Then your surprise as realization hits you.

The morale tells itself, then.

>>21301579
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mG2I-o3yUA

>>21288618

My sides

>>21288486

>I forgot that you can hide threads: The comment

>>21290239

The further education of oversoul seven, in one image. Well I'll be fucked.

>>21302095
...
The what of what?

>>21294260
I love showing those to people who say Fantasy Heroes could beat modern day nations because of magic. It's decently written with actual facts on how military hardware works, with all of the gore and love descriptions of it need

File: 1351296859650.png-(317 KB, 582x586, Holy Shit.png)

>>21275842
>humanity as hillbillies
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS?!

I have always wanted to write an HFY story, because I thought of a great ending line.

Problem is I have no idea how to bring it about.

Said line is "We're running the universe's biggest shell game, and nobody's realised we've palmed the ball."

>>21302414
That actually sounds like a perfect summary of >>21290950 and >>21291029

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzJaQtZty5M

>The War. The humans, I think, knew they were doomed. Where another race would surrender to despair, the humans fought back with greater strength. They made the Minbari fight for every inch of space. In my life, I have never seen anything like it; They would weep, they would pray, they would say goodbye to their loved ones, and then throw themselves without fear or hesitation at the very face of death itself, never surrendering. No one who saw them fighting against the inevitable could help but be moved to tears by their courage. Their stubborn nobility. When they ran out of ships, they used guns, when they ran out guns they used knives and sticks and bare hands. They were magnificent. I only hope that when it is my time, I may die with half as much dignity as I saw in their eyes in the end. They did this for two years they never ran out of courage but in the end, they ran out of time.

not quite humanity fuck yeah, but in a way it is, its not about humans always winning, but that humans cannot be beaten only killed.

Thought I’d try my first writefagging, feedback would be greatly appreciated.

You humans are strange, you know that? You have all this technology but you’re so primitive. You can travel worlds, turn a dead husk into a vibrant oasis, and you still use the tools you used where given at birth. not to mention your short lives. But I think that’s why you lasted so long in this cut-throat universe, you live for the moment.

The biggest example of this is adrenaline, your bodies manufacture and release a deadly toxin, and it makes you fearless, think, this causes some horrible problems, it can kill you, but you make it and release it to ignore pain and fear so in one moment you are not primal creatures you are gods immune to pain and fear.

Remember 5th Battalion at Kr-Zii?

They were beaten down, entrenched against huge odds, so what did you do? Surrender? No you attached your knives to your rifles and FUCKING CHARGED at the masses, and slaughtered them!

Perhaps that’s what makes you so interesting. Most species only think about the future, but you think of the now, you are Children of The Moment, no matter what happens, you can make actions of unimaginable bravery, forget all fear because of your primal connections to adrenaline, We Ak'xell could do with some ourselves!

What is it that makes humanity great? It is how great they are not.

Did you know the average human lives only some 15 Lyjin cycles? I've nearly reached my 800th. Many deride humanity for this - not a single one of them lives long enough to attain any real wisdom.

For the entirety of my lifespan, we Lyjin have been watching the humans. I have seen them grow, in the service term of but one Councilor, from a cave-dwelling people to an industrial one. And each human is quick to reject the ideas of the last. In but 20 cycles, we saw humans go from the peak of oppressive slave-owning societies to questioning how such offenses against sentients could be possible. A single cycle passes, and humans already decry the technology from the previous cycle as primitive. I have owned the same aircar for 8 cycles now - humans went from excitedly building their first fusion-power aircars to completely scrapping them in favor of singularity-powered aircars in that same timespan.

As I retire to the dormitaria, it terrifies me to think of how much the humans will have changed by the time I awaken.

First time writing something like this, did I do okay?

>>21274806
These threads are normally about stating mankinds worst feats and the behavior that inables them, these feats need not be done with intent. The next step is cheering it on. Its almost certainly the most /b/ like thing this board does on an at least semi-regular basis.

Besides I thought in 40k part of the galaxy hated mankind because they exterminated so many species, even peaceful ones or those that made good potential (or even existing) allies, which of course is fucking win.

>>21290259
;_; I read that aloud to my mom.

>>21302906
Yeah, no. These threads are usually about finding the best elements of Humanity and exalting them. Some stories of HFY get the wrong end of the stick, and exalt humanity as conquers and warriors.

The real works of HFY, the ones that truly go Humanity, FUCK YEAH! are the ones like >>21276971 and >>21275921

They take the best of us, and show it to the universe.

File: 1351302091863.jpg-(112 KB, 751x658, IMG_0009.jpg)

We inspire cheerful songs to our humanoid kin.

Just punched this one up. Not a writer, but I figure someone might enjoy.

We, the Kreshnassu, relegate the bulk of our dining habits to only what is necessary. A handful of dolman berries is considered a rare delicacy reserved for only the high lords of Kresh Prime. The majority of the Kreshnassu subsist on tasteless food cubes that provide all our needed daily nutrients, calories, and vitamins in a couple bites.

I was serving as a simple ship steward on the KorgNik 7 when it was fated to make first contact with the humans. We came upon them doing barely 1/3 Kreshni standard speed. Theirs was a simple supply ship named the "Galley Wench", transporting goods to one of their outpost colonies.

When the bridge communications officer opened a vid channel to the human ship and announced himself and his standing, the largest bipedal I have ever seen flipped on their end of the channel and greeted us with, "Well burn my biscuits! Who'd've thunk ol' Cooky would be the one to make first contact with the Kresh?! Hahahar!"

This also marked the first time I had ever seen a communications officer so blatantly flustered on an open line, "Uh…er *ahem*. Our first contact procedures dictate an open and informal meeting on either ship in order to…establish future means of contact and let both parties gain mutual understanding of each other. Are you agreeable to this procedure?"

>>21303750

The large human replied robustly, "Well golly, I should say I certainly is! We should have this meeting over here on the ol' Wench! The boys and I just got the grill going. Come on over and I'll have our ship chef make us all up something right and tasty to gulp down and have a good ol' talk over!"

As a ship steward I was privileged enough to be invited on the diplomatic team for first contact with the humans. When we docked we switched over our internal bio-filters for their atmospheric content and were welcomed in by a somewhat skinnier human dressed in something akin to what many Kreshnassu would compare to our priests' holy robes. The name-tag on his all white outfit read simply, "Chef: Pierre," and he gave us a curt bow and gestured for us to follow him.

Something not many species know about we Kreshnassu is that we have a highly developed olfactory capability. Useful in stealth missions and diplomatic affairs, we can pick out a large number of unique scents and pheromones to great advantage. When the doors to the "Mess Hall" opened we were staggered by the overwhelming amount of scent that hit us like a wall of exquisite warmth.

>>21303762

The table in front of us was large enough to seat at least 50 Kreshnassu, and the entirety of its surface was covered in what was creating the wondrous smells we were experiencing. Food. Of all kinds and varieties from humanity's different cultures. For the first time in our lives, we were hungry. It was about this time that the large human we had talked to earlier sauntered into the room, large abdomen surely blocking most of his view of the small statures of our diplomatic party, "Hahahahar! No need to stand for the occasion fellahs! Ol' Cooky has served enough crews to see the hunger in them eyes. Dig in!"

I was prodded forward to the table first, mainly because I think the rest of our team didn't know what to make of everything they were seeing. I hesitantly approached something that looked harmless and plain enough, so that I could work up to some of the more exotic dishes. The first bite shook me to my core. The happy and joyous rush that danced across my sensitive tastebuds was surely reserved for only enlightened and ascended beings. I didn't care if was participating in blasphemy, I savored every morsel and crumb that I ate. Tears streamed down my face. I later learned that what I picked out was called a "jelly donut with chocolate frosting."

The team doctor rushed to my side thinking I had been poisoned, but I waved him off as I regained control over my limbs and once again stood. "Good." This seemed to be sign enough for the rest of the team that everything was alright to eat. The next 6 hours (human time) passed like a slow wondrous dream, where we sampled the most amazing flavors the humans had to offer and their captain Cooky relegated tales of travel through the system and bits of his life. Everything he said was like a long lost gospel passing down the wonder and uniqueness of the true nature of the universe, preaching to us the amazing existence to be found in the world of food alone.

>>21303778

After the meal, Cooky and crew helped us back to our pod, our thoraxes feeling like they would burst if we consumed anything else. We returned to KorgNik 7, and spent the next 3 days relegating to the rest of the crew what we had experienced as almost a holy encounter.

I look back on the experience now as the start of a wonderful revolution for my people. For all our technological advancements, we the Kreshnassu were lacking in the simple joys of life. We trade away some our most astounding technological marvel blueprints to the humans for organic crops, livestock, and libraries of recipes and cooking documentaries.

>>21303792
Amusing, this is only the 3rd time I've seen the greatest accomplishment of mankind be our cooking. Once in Marvel, once in Animorphs, and here.

>>21303851
One time on alternatehistory.com I made the most amazing thing about Humans the game Tetris; it was so addictive that the rest of the universe paid us royalties and one aggressive race tried to proclaim it had invented Tetris only to fall to the combined might of humanity.

We came across humanity shortly after our first incursions into the great black with our newly developed jump drive. We were eager for a first contact with something other then us. We new there were risks, we could run into horrors or wonders but it was our decision to push forward, we never backed down. We are explorers. Then we found them, or what was left. A blue marble orbiting a sun that once held life. Its surface was covered in the ruins of massive, pristine cities, but were completely empty as though everyone vanished moments before our first contact team's arrival. We found more evidence of them everywhere we looked. They must have touched every star in their sky and left something behind as proof. Had they been to our world? We looked in our space and found nothing. We were the one place they had missed. Why? We figured out their historical archives and learned their language. We found a people remarkably like us in temperament. They had their violent moments and shameful acts but they grew up and expanded into the black like we are doing now. They went looking for others but found none. They thought themselves alone. Hundreds of years later they vanished. So where did they go? Will they be coming back? Perhaps one day we will find out

>>21303997
I'm disappointed in how that came out, I lost my train of thought halfway in.

>>21303792
Screencap plz?

File: 1351307432698.png-(114 KB, 1654x948, Cooking.png)

>>21304147
Done and done. First screencap, so if it's shit I can try to fix it.

can we get a screen cap of teh drake mcdougal, for prosperity?

File: 1351312849314.png-(289 KB, 1636x1589, DrakeMcDougalp2.png)

>>21305128
Think I got it. Just had to go sew the two halves together.

>>21295946

Oh dear god all of my feels.

My dad's still alive, and we're on good terms, but all of a sudden I feel a physical need to fly out there and give him a hug.

>>21303792
I hope we're absolutely fleecing them for this. After all, even if we've got multiple worlds, food is going to very quickly become a scarce commodity if we sell it cheaply to an alien race who's never had flavor before, and then we won't have anything to eat.

>>21304303
>>21305447
Excellent screencaps guy(s).

>>21277356
You can and must. To not worship the God-Emperor is heresy, and all heresy is met with death.

Just as you are writing a half-hearted story about humanities greatest the news comes in that an intelligent alien species has made contact with humanity
what do?

>>21307392
>rape