Fürst!
Great to see this up again.

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Tarrasquemas isn't until the 9th of September. Go back to your throne.

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Okay, a quick refresher before we get started. Last time, the Emperor successfully launched a lightning raid on Commorragh for unknown purposes, and brought a few familiar faces with him.

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>>21401531
Aaand I fucked my name up.

The Vaults of Excess echoed with screams of horror and agony. Hundreds of thousands of Dark Eldar souls were pouring in, basting in delicious fear, and the daemons of Slaanesh cavorted. Where the halls of the Palace of the Prince has previously been filled with the sullen grumbling of the freshly-defeated Emperor’s Children, now it rang with delighted laughter and terrified whimpering.
The Prince himself sat on his throne, feeling the experiences of a hundred thousand immortal hedonists race through him. He throbbed with the power and excess in which the Dark Eldar had reveled, and laughed contentedly. “And they lived happily ever after,” he giggled.
A daemon waddled in, arms full of thrashing wyches. Slaanesh extended one sensuous tentacle and scooped them up, absorbing their experiences, and casting their trembling specters to his servants, who scurried away, already planning their fun.
“Oh, now, this does make up for lost time, doesn’t it?” Slaanesh said cheerfully. “I wonder if dear old Arha will pop in for a visit?”
“One hopes,” a daemonette by his side purred, snagging herself a treat and enjoying it. “I wonder how many more are coming?”
“Who cares?” Slaanesh retorted, basking in the power that raced through him. “Oh…so many wondrous experiences to share!”
“Do we even know where they’re coming from, Master?” the daemonette asked, running her grotesque tongue over her master’s leg.
“Hee hee, I DO! They come from deepest Commorragh itself! Oh, I wish those humans would take the initiative more often if this is the result!” Slaanesh said happily.

...What is this?
I find myself intrigued yet shamefully underequipped to handle this.

The Emperor tilted his head back and released a ravening beam of raw power into the black edifice before him, tearing the building asunder. The massive structure collapsed downward in a telescoping heap, crushing everyone inside in a heartbeat. “KEEP UP THE PRESSURE, MEN! WE’RE BLEEDING THEM OUT!” he instructed, firing lower, to crack a semi-hidden vault of Haemonculi open.
“My Emperor, all space assets have embarked and are engaged,” the Captain of the Scourge reported. “The ground units themselves, however, are encountering resistance. Substantial resistance.”
“THEN DIVERT ALL GROUND ASSETS TO THAT POINT AND REINFORCE AS BEST YOU CAN,” the Emperor said. “I DON’T THINK WE’LL NEED TO BE HERE MUCH LONGER.”
Far away, Vulkan swept the Spear laterally, cleaving a silent Incubus in half. With a flick, he tossed a flashbang into a nearby window and waited an instant. The grenade went off, and he ran in after it, hosing the room beyond with fire. After a few seconds of screaming, the room went quiet. Vulkan flicked a few bits of ash off of his armor and walked back out, glancing over the street. Columns of vehicles and troops were rumbling by, illuminating the skies overhead as they fired at the swarms of enemy fliers that swooped around, harassing the Imperial convoys.
Behind him, a Techmarine with markings he didn’t recognize was carrying a small machine with glyphs carved into its metal shell, and glancing from door to door as if looking for a place to put it down. The weird, twisted geometry of the Dark City meant that it was nigh-impossible to plot a straight line between two places for long, but the number of Imperial troops that had entered through the Webway tunnel meant that a small but solid foothold had been taken.

>>21401623
Look up Emperasque on 1d4chan.

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YES.
OH GOD YES IT HAS RETURNED.

My interest in Emperasque is dulled by the expectation of a uguu little high school girl crawling in her skin popping out around the corner.

... I need alcohol and caffeine in copious amounts to handle this properly.

>>21401662
There there. The Emperasque takes medication to reduce parasites such as that to a minor nuisance at best.

I think most of it is based on mercury.

>>21401731
>mercury
That's not how you spell prometheum.

>>21401754
>promethium
That's not how you spell "the souls of 1,000 psykers"

The air overhead turned white for an instant as a warship fired, and the sound of a hundred thousand pieces of glass shattering filled the air with sound. The Techmarine knelt in the corner of one room Vulkan had cleared, setting the machine down and tapping a small rune. As he stood, Vulkan smirked behind his helmet. So far, so good.
Outside, the Emperor sensed the approach of a wave of Dark Eldar ships from elsewhere in the Webway. “THAT’S OUR CUE, JAGHATAI,” he said.
“Understood, Father,” Jaghatai said, wiping gore off of his chainsword. “All Fast Attack units, withdraw to the transports!” he called over the vox.
The other ground units began their own retreat, falling back to the Webway Gate. The Emperor took a moment to unleash another blast at a seemingly-dormant Gate hanging in the air above the city, then glanced away as one of the warships disappeared into the Webway gate from which they had come.
Vulkan held the spear in a low guard, straining his ears for any sounds of Dark Eldar troops advancing on the Techmarine, but heard none. “Father, the package is delivered,” he said into his collar vox as the Techmarine rose, unlimbering a plasma pistol.
“EXCELLENT TIMING! RETREAT IMMEDIATELY, AND PLANT THE BOMB,” the Emperor said, watching as two more Minotaur ships vanished into the Webway.
“Aye,” Vulkan said, already underway.
At the gate they had used to launch their invasion, a small group of combat Enginseers were fiddling with a large black block of plastic, gingerly feeding wires into it and propping incense sticks against its sides. “We’ll be ready in under four minutes,” one of them said over his shoulder.
Cain, who had elected to serve in his Commissarial role by ensuring the prize team had personal oversight at the Gate complex, nodded with relief he hid well. “My Lord, the bomb will be ready by the time you get back,” he said.

emprerasque time? I have never been around for one of those, I've enjoyed the archives greatly however, this will be fun!

>glorious emprasque returns
and /tg/ decided to stop being shit for the day and cast itsbrightness all over the land.

>>21402060
>ROAD TRIP!

Wut?

>>21402157
I'm so used to it. It auto-completed.

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>>21402060
How practical that the right thing to do and the least dangerous thing coincide so gracefully.

“I should hope so,” Vulkan said, ducking a splinter burst. He drew his bolt pistol and drilled four shots into the torso of the Trueborn sniper crouched in the ruins of a building behind him, blasting him apart at the seams. “Prepare to extract as soon as the timer is set.”
“By your will, Lord, it will be done,” Cain said. His eyes narrowed as a small cloud of black dots emerged from the far distance, silhouetted against the dead star beyond. “Lord, be advised that several Dark Eldar ships are approaching your position, attacking from the sun…probably to blind you,” he said.
“I know, Commissar, and my order stands. Prepare for exfil, now,” Vulkan said, gesturing to the Techmarine to rejoin the rest of his retreating squad.
“Consider it done,” Cain said, cutting the link.
One of the Enginseers lurched sideways and nearly exploded as a blast from a Dark Eldar plasma gun slammed into his flank. In an instant, Cain and the other Enginseers took cover, as an autocannon on a tripod next to the Gate shredded the shooter. “Enemy squad approaching this close…probably means they’re trying to cut off the Primarch,” Jurgen commented as he handed Cain his hat back.
Cain dusted it off and planted it on his head as the sound of approaching vehicles grew louder. “Probably,” he agreed, loosening the strap on his laspistol.
“Will you be going to join him, then, Commissar?” one of the Enginseers asked.
Cain hesitated, cursing his reputation for the hundredth time. “I don’t see the need, Enginseer,” he said carefully. “A Lord Primarch would only be slowed down by a mere mortal such as myself,” he added, all modesty.

All the ships but the Scourge had vanished by now. The Emperor watched as the massive Barge lined up for extraction, surrounded by the returning transports and escort fighters. “SCOURGE, THANKS FOR THE COVER. WITHDRAW AS SOON AS YOU’RE READY,” the Emperor said.
The far-distant warship’s Captain heard the Emperor’s words over his vox and nodded, thrilled. “An honor, your Highness. We’re withdrawing as soon as Lord Primarch Khan is aboard,” he replied.
An arcing line of burning white light erupted from the tip of one of the ship’s starboard lances, coring a small raider that had just emerged from another Gate. The air was getting thick again, this time with Dark Eldar vessels.
The Emperor watched as the Scourge vanished into the Webway with a shimmering wave of black energy. “TIME TO GO, VULKAN, GET YOUR TEAM OUT,” he said.
His father’s warning echoing in his mind, Vulkan picked up the pace, running for the Gate as streams of Imperial troops poured back through it. The Dark Eldar were pursuing them, now, enraged at the Monkeigh who had dared to strike their home. Even as Vulkan tore through the ruins of a collapsed mansion, his boots caked in dust and gore, a group of Mandrakes appeared from nowhere, their poisoned blades jutting out from their ragged forms, half in and half out of reality.
Vulkan dropped to one knee in his armor as the Mandrakes slid closer over the ruins of the structure’s façade, unleashing sound and flame from his wrists. The Mandrakes scattered as the magnitude of the threat became clear, and Vulkan was on his feet in an instant, running as fast as his legs could take him.
The last of the Predators withdrew through the Gate as the Enginseers finished their job. “Clear! Bomb is armed!” one announced.

>>21402409
You did it again.

Cain felt a weight lift from his shoulders at the news. “Then withdraw immediately,” he said.
Vulkan appeared at the edge of the stream of retreating humans, half of whom were in cover providing fire to protect the other half, who were getting through the Gate as fast as they could. The entrenched troops withdrew in small groups, their formations hardening under the Primarch’s gaze, but the area’s security was broken. Dark Eldar were streaming in, now, clustering around the shrinking Imperial cordon to harvest pain and souls.
Cain felt a barbed trident soar past him to lodge in the ground behind, and he dropped into a crouch to stabilize his aim as he fired a retaliatory shot. The lasbolt struck the shrieking xeno in the arm and sent it scurrying back, even as the last ground vehicle drove through.
Vulkan skidded to a halt next to the Gate’s far side, gesturing for the remaining Imperials to withdraw. The ships Cain had spotted were approaching fast, their slender, almost insectoid prows glimmering with unlight from charged weapons.
“Through!” Vulkan barked, as the last of the security teams abandoned cover and charged through the Gate. Cain and the Enginseers abandoned their positions and charged for the wafer-thin sheet of energy that separated the Webway from reality, as He’Stan dropped down from his vantage in the crumbling tower overhead to join his master.

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>>21402452
It's just Pavlovian. I put so much of that story online that my hand just automatically puts a capital R at the Subject line now.

Wonderful! The glorious Emprahsque has returned! All namefags rejoice at His return!

“Lord, the last of the field units is gone,” He’stan reported.
“Good. Follow,” Vulkan said, turning on his heel and charging away from the Gate.
He’Stan rose to his feet and trailed after the Primarch as the Emperor appeared behind the crumbling tower in a rush of purple mist. “PILGRIM, VULKAN, IS THE BOMB READY?” he asked.
“It is,” Vulkan confirmed, as the Dark Eldar tide broke over the Gate. The automatic weapons on their tripods were keeping the aliens back for now, but it would be just seconds before they fell under the sheer volume of enemy fire.
“THEN WE LEAVE THE VERMIN TO THEIR FATES,” the Emperor said, and all three Imperials vanished in another rush of air.
Behind them, the bomb detonated, seven hundred kilograms of enriched plastic explosives going off like a thunderclap. The Gate was destroyed in an instant, vanishing in the shockwave, and its rubble disappeared under the collapsing structure overhead. Air units were propelled from the blast, shattered like glass.

>>21402670
And here I was thinking this was going to be a nuke that would knock the entire city out. Ah well.

>>21402611
Oh, hey, Ahriman, drop by the IRC sometime.

Vect watched the explosion from his throne room, inscrutable. The damage from the warships was vastly greater, of course, but the fact that the warships had extracted first was significant. He straightened up from his throne, waving the crystal away. The damage was done. The city was crippled, and now there would be Archons from half a dozen Kabals shrieking for his head in retribution for what he had ‘allowed’ to transpire.
As he turned his back on the sight of the ruins, the faintest sense of prickling on the back of his neck alerted him to danger. He spun about, but even to his eyes, the room was vacant.
A feeling of dread, fading since the battle ended, grew back in his guts. He knew that sense. He had suppressed it, like every Dark Eldar of his age did, but he knew it. It was some remnant, some lingering shred of his psychic power, reacting to something powerful.
Unseen, in a scorched and burned room many hundreds of kilometers away, a machine covered in glyphs pulsed to life.

>>21402753
I'd love too, but I can't. Computer is at the repair shop, writing this on my iPod.
Keep on going, I want to see the War Room so bad!

The Emperor released He’Stan and Vulkan from his psychic grip as they emerged on the plains outside the Dark Eldar building they had used to launch the attack. “WELL DONE, MY SON, LORD HE’STAN, VERY WELL DONE INDEED,” he said.
“The beacon worked?” Vulkan asked.
“I SENSE IT EVEN NOW,” the Emperor confirmed.
Vulkan allowed himself a sigh of relief. “That’s our secondary mission accomplished, at least,” he said.
“AND OUR PRIMARY IS WELL UNDER WAY,” the Emperor confirmed. “SEE TO THE TROOPS. I MUST RETURN TO CADIA.”
“To Cadia, Sire?” He’Stan asked.
“INDEED, PILGRIM, CADIA. A SMALL FORCE OF SPECIALISTS IS GATHERING THERE FOR THE NEXT STEP OF MY PLAN TO BUY US SOME MORE TIME BEFORE THE NEXT MAJOR CHAOTIC INCURSION,” the Emperor said. “NECRONS ARE PROBLEMATIC, BUT FINITE. TYRANIDS ARE PROBLEMATIC, BUT PREDICTABLE. CHAOS IS POTENTIALLY INFINITE AND BY ITS NATURE, INSCRUTABLE. I WILL NEED TO THIN THE HERD BEFORE WE CAN SAFELY BEGIN ANY MAJOR INTERNAL REFORMS,” he explained. “FEAR NOT, YOU WILL BE CALLED UPON TO ASSIST WHEN THE TIME COMES, BUT UNTIL THEN, I THINK IT BEST THAT YOU RETURN TO NOCTURNE AND PASS ALONG WHAT INTELLIGENCE AND TACTICS YOU HAVE GAINED ON YOUR SEARCHING FOR THE ARTEFACTS.”
“Especially since I’m here to show you where I left them,” Vulkan added. He turned to regard the shorter man. “If that is what you prefer, of course,” he said.
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO DECIDE NOW, EITHER OF YOU.” The Emperor’s eyes glowed purple for a moment. “MY DETACHMENT ON CADIA’S NEARLY READY. I’LL SEE YOU WHEN I CAN.” He vanished in a rush of air as the two Salamanders departed for the re-forming Imperial unit.

9-175-001-M42
Commissar Blenkach paced the parade ground at Kasr Vortiga with impatience and nerves in equal measure. The Emperor was returning with deployment orders, so he had been told, and now all he had to do was wait and think of all the little things he needed to have done before the Emperor arrived, but hadn’t had time.
The air parted and burst with purple mist behind him, bringing him about and onto a reverent knee. “LORD COMMISSAR, THERE YOU ARE,” the Emperor said. “HOW ARE THE WAR PSYKER DEPLOYMENTS GOING?”
“Right on schedule,” the aging Commissar reported. “My Lord God, I feel I must ask…why are the conventional forces of the Imperial Guard not being deployed in your plan?”
“BECAUSE IF THE PLAN ACTUALLY WORKS, WE WON’T EVEN NEED THEM,” the Emperor said. “BESIDES, WE HAVE PLANETS TO RECOVER. WE DIDN’T KEEP EVERY WORLD ABBADON AND HIS ALIEN ALLIES ATTACKED IN THE BLACK CRUSADE.”
“True,” Blenkach conceded.

“BUT TO BUSINESS. ARE THE CRYO-TRANSPORTS READIED?”
“They are indeed, your Highness, though I have been requested to pass along a note of confusion as to their destination,” the elderly Commissar reported.
“OH, I KNOW. I KEPT THEIR DESTINATION SECRET SO THAT THEY COULD NOT BE INTERCEPTED. SIMPLY TURN THEM OVER TO ME SO I CAN DIVERT THEM AS NEEDED,” the Emperor instructed.
“By your will, my Lord God,” Blenkach said. “When will you be departing?”
“LESS THAN AN HOUR, IF ALL GOES WELL, BUT I NEED TO MAKE SURE OF SOMETHING FIRST,” the Emperor said.
“May I ask what that is?” Blenkach inquired.
“PLEASE DON’T, COMMISSAR. SOME ASPECTS OF THIS CAMPAIGN ARE COMPARTMENTALIZED FOR A VERY GOOD REASON.”

>>21403186
Is 'Your Highness' even appropriate to adress the Emperor?

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>>21403262
If you remember how tall he is, sure.

>>21403262
Anything that sounds appropriately like you're groveling.

Oh God-Emperasque YES!

I have awaited the return of this for an eternity!

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>>21403288
>ba dum tish

Someone else, you truly are a great man, and i am glad to be here.

Slaanesh sighed happily as the trickle of incoming Dark Eldar souls trailed off to its normal levels. “Well, that was fun,” he remarked.
“Wasn’t it, though?” a daemonette remarked, basking in the glow of conquest. The shriveled souls around her vanished into the ether with tortured screams.
“I dare say I’m feeling relieved,” Slaanesh said, rising from his pulsing throne. “I think I’ll take advantage of this.”
“How do you mean, Master?” the daemonette inquired, batting her lashed coquettishly.
“I think it’s time I go to repay a debt,” Slaanesh said, and vanished in a rush of scented, musky air.

Far from the Vaults of Excess, the Blood God Khorne sat atop his throne. The endless plains of blood-slicked skulls around him hazed with fog and the clamor of battle as trillions of souls, daemons, and mortal warriors vied for his favor.
Khorne watched the battle, seething. “A full-scale raid on Commorragh,” he growled, gripping the skulls of his armrests.
“It is, my Master,” a fiery spectre at his side said disgustedly.
“And it has now ended?” the Blood God snarled.
“So it would seem. We can not confirm. There is much tumult in the ranks of the Prince of Excess, the filthy slut, and we see little in the City of Darkness itself,” the daemon replied.
“FUCK HIM! We have greater concerns,” Khorne said, his rage boiling over. “The Anathema, his resurrection has stripped me of one of my greatest servants, and now that fool Angron is so busy concocting his vengeance against his father that I can barely reach him!”
“Shall I go myself, Master?” the fire daemon asked, fingering his axe.
“Fool! He would cleave you in twain. Let Angron have his fun. Find out more about this Commorragh raid,” Khorne ordered, settling back into his seat to watch the battle below.

All right, folks, I'm off to go to a NaNoWriMo meeting! See you when I get back. A bump around eight and another around ten would be swell.

>>21403853
Have fun with NaNoWriMo!

Courtesy bump!

A bump from Middle Earth (Seriously)

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Bless you, Someone Else.

Back.

All right, time for more Emperasque.

The Astronomican’s power is unparalleled. Its psychic signal is unlike anything else in the universe, and it draws Tyranids as much as it repels daemons. Its chorus has been described by Navigators as like a choir of angelic singing, and can be perceived as far from Terra as Macragge. To those who can see it, namely the Navigators and some strong alien psychics, the brilliant light in the darkness is the most glorious thing they can comprehend.
Dark Eldar can’t see the Astronomican. Their psychic senses have been suppressed and scoured away by millennia of decay and hatred, so that their weak souls do not fall prey to the darker aspects of the Warp. So when a small machine that the Emperor had had built from the damaged components of the Golden Throne’s now-unneeded life support systems and powered by a small portion of his psychic capabilities activated in the corner of a scorched building in Commorragh, nobody noticed.
The Dark City crawled with the opportunistic. Millions of Dark Eldar and their mercenaries picked over the rubble of the invasion, searching for the dead and dying to enjoy. In a crumbling building near a destroyed Webway Gate, however, a small machine made of golden metal pinged a signal into the Warp, and for an instant, the strongest living Navigators felt a funny return on their Warp Eye’s vision.

Asdrubael Vect nearly flew down the stairs of his tower, sprinting for his Dais. The machine was protected in a shielded, atmospherically-sealed hangar, so that only he and his crew could reach it. As he arrived in the room, he breathed a sigh of relief, seeing that the crew was already readying it for takeoff. He slid into the throne and unsealed the hangar doors as the Dais lifted off from the floor of the room.
He wasn’t leaving, though. He waited, his hands clutching his weapons, and listened for whatever was coming.
Far above, the Webway Gate that the Scourge had passed through rippled and opened. Eyes below craned up to see what was happening. Perhaps a slave ship returning with its living cargo?
The machine in the abandoned building pulsed once, sending a short, coded message to the Gate above.
On a planet in the Segmentum Tempestus, where a group of Imperial Guard units had been desperately fighting off the Tyranid Bioforms of a Leviathan splinter until mere days before, a Webway Gate suddenly activated, with no warning whatsoever.

>>21406661
>dumping nids on the deldar
Did Creed come up with this plan?

>>21406694
He helped, certainly.

A massive blast of perfumed air from the foot of the Skull Throne sent warriors scurrying away. Slaanesh, Prince of Excess himself, appeared before Khorne, his born rival. Instantly, the Blood God’s worshippers averted their eyes, lest they be sucked into the Prince’s service.
“Khorne, some debts should be paid before they start to fester,” Slaanesh whispered.
The Blood God started, astonished. “Your temerity does you credit, slut, but nothing else!” he roared. He lifted his colossal sword and held it aloft, drawing the gaze of every warrior in the Citadel of Brass. “I will break you for this!”
“Then come get me,” Slaanesh giggled, extending a tentacle. The tentacle hardened into a blade as it formed, and the Prince charged.

The Emperor waited impatiently on the surface of Cadia as a small group of ships circled the planet overhead. “AAAAANY MINUTE NOW,” he said to himself, his psychic senses extended.

Khorne swung his sword parallel to the ground, cleaving the sky where Slaanesh had been moments before. “Your parasitism lends you strength, whore,” Khorne growled, blocking a thrust from Slaanesh’s weapon.
“Strength enough for vengeance,” Slaanesh shot back. “Strength enough to defeat you!”
“In my own CITADEL?” Khorne roared, lunging forward a pace and throwing his arm out to push Slaanesh back several steps. “Dream on, you disgusting, honorless worm!”

>>21407040
Oh wow, this is good planning.

The Gate over the ruins of the Dark City shimmered, but what emerged was not a Dark Eldar ship. From the rippling field of energy over the Gate’s mouth emerged nothing more or less than an entire Tyranid Hive Ship.
The city erupted in fire as the Dark Eldar, primed from the attack on their home, assaulted the unexpected threat in their midst. Even as the smarter Dark Eldar Captains opened fire on the Gate instead, destroying it, the gigantic living vessel flailed, finding itself cut off from its retreat.
Vect deployed in his Dais, seeing his opportunity return. Perhaps the chance to show the other members of the Kabal that he was still very much in charge would be enough to re-cement his position?

As the beacon tied to his power faded away, the Emperor made his move. Teleporting from the surface of Cadia, he made his way through the Warp to the Eye, with the nearly-unmanned support vessels trailing in his wake.

Khorne was winning. Slaanesh had let his newfound power go to his head, and he was barely keeping ahead of the older God’s swings.
The Prince of Pleasure ducked a savage swing from the Blood God’s blade, hearing it sing past his head. “Upstart! THIEF!” Khorne roared, gripping his sword with both hands and driving it forward.
Slaanesh sidestepped the blow and moved to grapple his enemy, but Khorne had already withdrawn. “Do you feel your pride blinding you, or does it happen so often you don’t even notice?” Khorne mocked him. He thrusted the blade at his enemy sideways, and Slaanesh had to scramble back a pace to avoid having one of his arms cleaved straight off. His blade of hardened flesh rose in defense, and it shook from the force of the blow. “I took a breast last time, Slaanesh. I’ll take an eye this time,” he promised darkly. His legions of warriors beyond the throne roared their approval, their eyes trained to the ground.
“I’m not beaten yet, gruesome,” Slaanesh shot back, lunging at Khorne with a vicious attack that actually pushed Khorne back to the base of the Skull Throne’s base. “You’ll have to…oh…”
Khorne’s beady, bloodshot eyes narrowed as Slaanesh staggered back a pace, grinning maniacally. “Something distracting you, stripling?” he growled, swinging his sword at Slaneesh’s pulsing legs.
The Pleasure God caught the blow on his own weapon, beaming ecstatically. “You little fool! This…oh, this is new!” He thrust a palm out and slammed it into Khorne’s armor, driving himself back and out of Khorne’s reach. “Oh, that human fellow is crafty indeed, isn’t he?”
“What are you babbling about?!” Khorne raged, hacking away at Slaanesh with a furious anger. He swung his blade again and again, and each time it rebounded from the hardened tentacle.

>>21407040
>>21407808
Ten thrones on Khorne.

>>21407869
100 on the emperor

>>21407808
Dude I am now drunk and this fight is one of the most amazing things I have ever read. Please don't stop.

>>21407869
Done and done. Make it fifty?

“That Anathematic Emperor just unleashed a swarm of monsters into Commorragh,” Slaanesh giggled. He turned his baleful gaze on the Blood God, his smaller wounds knitting shut. “Oh…you’re in for it now,” he breathed, raising his weapon.
The legions of Khorne, that had been listening to the battle from below, lest they see Slaanesh and be twisted away from their master, milled about. “How do we stop this madness?” one cultist demanded. “We can’t fight that abomination without seeing him!”
“Did he bring a retainer? Warriors?” another demanded.
“None! The cocky shit came alone!” the first fumed.
“Then we can do nothing,” the second said bitterly. “We will simply have to…” he trailed off.
A World Eater beside him turned to glare. “Have to what, mortal?” he asked angrily.
“…I bet nobody’s guarding the Palace of Excess right now, since Fulgrim lost to his brother,” the cultist said slowly.
Silence fell over the group of warriors as that idea passed amongst them. “Then perhaps we should avail ourselves of it,” one of the cultists said cheerfully, testing the edge of his blade.
“OR NOT,” a new voice said.

>>21407895
Fifty and three skulls.

>>21407896
NO WHY ARE THEY SPOILING THINGS
THAT WAS A FANTASTIC IDEA

>>21407932
I only have one skull, where can I get the others from? Seventy-five and my own skull.

>>21407940
>Betting a khornate your head
>M41
>Even Malal knows better than tat.

>>21407940
Deal.

>>21407957
>Better than tat
But does he know better than tit?

>>21407968
he knows better than a rattatat

>>21407968
Slaneshi knows tit better than anyone.

>>21407977
>Better than a Rattatta
That's how I originally read it in my drunken state. I refuse to correct myself.

>>21407982
Fair enough. They've got the experience.

A shimmering beam of purple light raced along the ground, cutting a swathe through the army of Khornates, and boiling a pathway through them. The Emperor fired again, sending a World Eater column into oblivion. “COMING THROUGH!” he roared, shifting aim and firing again.
“Corpse thief! Slay the false god!” one of the other Khornates roared, and the battle was joined, as thousands of Khornate warriors raced for the massive Emperor that had somehow appeared in their midst.
“YOU GUYS KNOW I STOLE THIS BODY FROM HERE, RIGHT? HOW WILL KHORNE REACT IF YOU DESTROY IT?” the Emperor asked in between swipes of his claws.
“We will be rewarded for returning his property, beast!” one of the cultists snarled, hurling a grenade.
“LIKE SKARBRAND WAS?” the Emperor laughed, erasing a gang of cultists with a sweep of his massive arms. “SURE. ANYWAY, SO LONG.”
In a flash, the Emperor was gone, leaving the cultists and Berserkers stumbling in the rush of air. They rose to their feet, looking around, but the Emperor was gone.
“What the hell just happened?” one warrior demanded of his comrades as he rose to his feet.
“The coward fled!” another proclaimed, laughing in triumph.

Their triumph, however, was shattered, by the sudden appearance of several hundred shadows above them. The assembled warriors looked up and gaped as metal pods rained from the sky. “What madness is this?” one demanded, scrambling out of the way.
The pods landed like a hailstorm amongst them, breaking the Khornates’ group up. Several dozen were crushed outright. As the dust settled, even as the battle between gods raged in the background, the pods erupted in shrapnel, shredding the warriors as they clustered around their new targets.
Slaanesh roared in laughter as the Dark Eldar souls raced through him. “Khorne, you old battlewagon, this is too much fun! You really aren’t as good at this as you say you are,” he said cruelly, slamming a tentacle across his ancient enemy’s face.
Khorne staggered back, seemingly blinded, and Slaanesh lunged in for a kill. Too late, he saw the burning malice and glee in Khorne’s eyes, and even as he struggled to halt his advance, Khorne brought the pommel of his blade up in a punishing strike. Slaanesh lurched backwards, his momentum reversed.
The pods on the field below began belching smoke like they were aflame, mingling with the blood-mist and fog on the battlefield. The Khornates clustered around them, brandishing their weapons in anticipation of a good fight.
A hideous, high-pitched whine erupted from within them, grinding at the ears of the surrounding warriors. “The buggery is that? A sonic weapon?” one demanded, clamping his hands over his ears.

>>21408207
>>21408354
>emprasque nukes khorne and slannesh at the exact same time to finish both of them off
god damn manare you sure CCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD isn't his avatar?

The Chaos Gods are unkillable, as they are manifestations of Human Emotion. As long as humans have lust or hate within them, the Gods will endure.
The only way to kill chaos is to kill off humanity. Could the Emprasque do that?

Maybe they're loaded to the brim with those anti-psyker grenades. That'd at least sting.

Slaanesh straightened up, glaring at Khorne. “Nice trick, love. Try this,” he snarled, leaping through the air, sword held high.
Khorne roared with laughter and caught his descending opponent with a lunge. He grabbed the Prince of Excess and hurled him bodily through the air to slam into the pool of boiling blood at the foot of his throne. Slaanesh shrieked in sudden surprise. “You can swell on power all you wish, slut, but you’re no fighter,” Khorne declared, flourishing his blade. “Now, let’s see about that eye…”
The whine grew louder and louder, until the warriors on the plain had had quite enough. “Smash the blasted things!” a World Eater roared, hacking away at the metal pod with his chain axe.
A hand, clad in a pointed glove, sprang from within the pod. The Khornate blinked in shock behind his mask as the metal glove ran him straight through.
The other warriors paused in their bloodlust to gape. The whine cut off abruptly, as if someone had thrown a switch.

>>21408543
and then kaldar draigo steps out to go kill daemons forever.

So what's in them?
Eversors?

>>21408600
Orks.

WAAAAAAGH, NO TIME TO MUCK ABOOT, DERE'S FAIGHTAN TA BE DONE!!

>>21408609
How about we compromise, Orkrsors.

>>21408627
Orks kept in stasis until they can be delivered to a xenos world, whereapon they're woken up and immediately attack the biggest military force for the best possible fight.

Not bad. Go start a thread about it.

Slaanesh scrambled backwards, trying to rise, but the blood stuck to his arms and threatened to drag him down. Khorne stepped over his thrashing body, lifting his sword high. “Which eye do you like the least? I’ll be fair and take that one only,” he growled.
A piercing shriek broke the sounds of Slaanesh’s struggling. Both gods looked out to where the pods had landed, unnoticed in their titanic struggle.
Khorne’s troops were vanishing into a veritable maelstrom of blood. Soldiers, thousands of them, were twisting and writhing across the battlefield, slicing and blasting their way through Khorne’s suddenly outclassed soldiers. Above the sounds of dying men, firing guns, and clashing melee weapons, a single, ululating battlecry could be heard.
“WRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
Nearly two hundred cells of Eversor Assassins slashed their way across the plain, cutting down Khorne’s distracted army by the armful. Powered by drug concoctions that could drive lesser men insane, the killing machines churned screaming cultists and even Space Marines to mulch beneath their hyperactive movements.

>>21408684
.>Above the sounds of dying men, firing guns, and clashing melee weapons, a single, ululating battlecry could be heard.
>“WRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

and then dio was a space marine and jojo's bizarre adventure is canon in 40k
jesus christ what the fuck.

>>21408704
To be fair.

So is Faptau.

File: 1351916240700.png-(19 KB, 800x600, 1207366449886.png)

>>21408704
Dude, WRRYYYYYYYYYYY has been the byword for Eversors since /tg/'s inception.

>>21408667
You do it. I am extremely lazy.

>>21408823
Fine. Just gimme a picture for it.

“Assassins? That bastard dares unleash his assassins on ME?!” Khorne raged. “Does he think me some petulant Imperial rebel he can simply erase?” He turned his wrathful gaze on Slaanesh, who was scrambling for the bank of the moat. “I’ll end you first, upstart,” he snarled, advancing.
Slaanesh cursed. “Not today, I think,” he said, and in a thunderclap of brilliant light, vanished back to his own realms. Khorne stumbled and blinked.
His prey was gone. Once again, Slaanesh had eluded his grasp. He threw his head back and roared his anger to the bloody sky. “YOU’LL NOT ESCAPE ME THIS TIME, SLUT!” he screamed, and the sound of his wrathful voice rumbled dust on the plains.
The Eversors were undeterred, slashing away at the ranks of Khorne’s forces. Even as they moved, their casualties mounted: they couldn’t bring down the entire army of Khorne at once. But then, they weren’t supposed to.
The Blood God’s forces fought back with a hateful vengeance, throwing themselves into the slaughter. The chainaxes of World Eater veterans as old as the Imperium flashed against the poison gauntlets and plasteel armor of the Eversors, and cleaved them open.
Inexorably, the swarm of Eversors vanished under the tide of red, until only the pods that had borne them there remained, and they too disappeared in a shower of sparks as the Khornates with chain weapons cleaved them apart.
“What the hell was the purpose of that?” a cultist demanded, wiping drug-riddled blood from his forehead, as silence fell over the battlefield, split only by detonating Eversors and the triumphant shouts of individual warriors. None answered him.

The Emperor breathed a sigh of relief that could bowl a man over, safe in the hangars of Kasr Vortiga. “IT WORKED.”
“A plan to disrupt the Tyranids, Chaos, and the Dark Eldar alike…I must say, my Lord God, I am thoroughly impressed,” Lord Castellan Creed admitted, puffing on his cigar. “But won’t Khorne and Slaanesh alike focus on us now?”
“HOW? WITH SLAANESH HUMILIATED AND KHORNE’S ARMIES DAMAGED, THOUGH OF COURSE HE CAN CALL THEM BACK SOON, BOTH OF THEM WILL HAVE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES FROM THE OTHER TWO CHAOS GODS NOW, AND WITH ABBADON AND FULGRIM OUT OF COMMISSION, WE’VE BOUGHT SOME BREATHING ROOM,” the Emperor said. “AND IF THEY DO COME OUT OF THE EYE SWINGING, CREED, I’M SURE YOUR TACTICAL SKILL WILL HOLD THE LINE UNTIL I CAN RALLY THE TROOPS A BIT. EVEN NOW, MY SONS GATHER THEIR FORCES FOR AN ASSAULT ON THE WORLDS WE’VE LOST AROUND THE EYE AND THE PATHS OF THE TYRANIDS.”
“May I ask what end we seek to achieve here, my Lord God?” Creed inquired carefully. “Beating back Chaos is a huge gain, of course, but it sounds like you have something more long-term in mind, Sire.”
“OH, I DO INDEED, LORD CASTELLAN. FEAR NOT. I WOULDN’T SACRIFICE THAT MANY ASSASSINS IN A SINGLE ATTACK UNLESS I KNEW IN ADVANCE WHAT IT WOULD ACHIEVE,” the Emperor said grimly. “PLEASE SEE TO THE RECONSTRUCTION OF YOUR WORLD. I HAVE A MEETING TO ATTEND.”

>>21409058
>>21408951
man i really want to see what the shit the emprahasque is up to because seriously, that is alot of guys he sacrificed for some stupid shit.

>>21408951
Someone owes he seventy-five thrones and their skull.

FFFFFFFuck I'm tired. Let me see if I can finish the story outright in one sitting.

Any elegan/tg/entlemen out there who can point me to a complete archive of Emperasque? Suptg tags are shit and 1d4chan only has like, the first half of the story. Thanks.

>>21409355
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=tarrasque

This should have most, I guarantee 1d4chan has the rest.

Or look up Tales of the Emperasque on TvTropes.

4-187-001-M42

Vulkan clasped his hands below his chin and watched the holograms flickering before him. “You need even ask?” he said mildly. “Of course the ports of Prometheus are open to stage your forces.”
“I didn’t think you’d say no, Vulkan,” Lion El’Jonson said from orbit. He looked down at the tiny red ball visible through his viewport. “The Emperor assures me that my campaign will strike a blow against the Dark Mechanicus forces harassing the Obscura battlegroups, but it’s a bit of a journey from Nocturne, given that Ultima has its own problems.”
“I’ll be busy, too, Lion,” Guilliman said from his own ship. “The campaign the Emperor has set us upon could take a hundred years to complete, given our…decayed technological advantage,” he admitted. “I will miss the Stormhammers we used to have.”
“AND BELIEVE ME, I APPRECIATE IT,” the Emperor said from the surface into the vox the Salamanders had provided. “BUT I WON’T BE ABLE TO LEAD IN PERSON. I’M GOING TO BE UP TO MY EYES IN REFORM WORK ON TERRA ALONE…AND REALLY, ONLY I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THIS WAR TO THE FORCES OF CHAOS ON THEIR OWN TERMS.”
Vulkan rubbed his temples, thinking carefully. “Father…if I may…what, exactly, did your deployment of those Eversors accomplish besides enraging Khorne?”
“WELL, WHAT’S SLAANESH’S WEAKNESS ABOVE ALL ELSE?” the Emperor asked.
“Pride,” Guilliman answered in a moment. “Insurmountable, personal, cocky pride.”

File: 1351920201250.jpg-(76 KB, 310x400, nature of man.jpg)

>>21409341
Great to have you back at the Emprah, SE.
One day the epic will die, but today is not that day!

Heh, sorry. I'm trying to think of something motivating to say and coming up with nothing.
Still, much love. It's good, soul-bolstering stuff. I particularly liked the pacing and description of the fight between Khorne and Slaaanesh.
"You honorless slut!" indeed. Bahahahaha.
And images like the Daemon with it's arms full of wiggling Wyches waddling around.

Totally unrelated, but if that Hive Ship survives to nom enough DE, will there start being Sexy Nids?
Hive Fleet Siren, hoooooo.

>>21409460
Oh god no, the Dark Eldar are going to rip it the fuck apart. It was just a way of depleting their forces and powering up Slaanesh without endangering the Imperium further.

File: 1351920613506.png-(106 KB, 576x576, never be doom.png)

>>21409498
Tsk. Oh well, can't have it all.

“EXACTLY. KHORNE’S ANGRY, HIS TROOPS’ MORALE IS DAMAGED, AND NOW KHORNE IS GOING TO NEED ANGRON TO KEEP HIS MEN IN LINE MORESO THAT HE HAS AT ANY POINT SINCE THE HERESY ITSELF,” the Emperor pointed out. “AND SLAANESH IS NOTHING IF NOT SPITEFUL. HE’LL GO HOME TO HIS PALACE IN THE WARP AND SULK, AND MAYBE EVEN RESURRECT FULGRIM IF HE CAN, AND THEN HE’LL THROW THEM AT KHORNE IN A TIDAL WAVE. WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I EXPECT THE OTHER TWO CHAOS POWERS WILL JOIN IN.”
“So this was as much to tie up their forces with infighting as it was to accomplish any logistical goals?” Vulkan asked, musing that over.
“INDEED. FEAR NOT. WHEN THEY COME FOR US AGAIN, WE’LL BE FAR MORE READY FOR THEM,” the Emperor said grimly. “WE MAY HAVE BOUGHT OURSELVES A THOUSAND YEARS TO PREPARE.”
“That would be ideal, of course,” Vulkan said, “but what exactly will you be doing while we…well, pick up where we left off?”
“PREPARING FOR A CHANGE OF AUTHORITY,” the Emperor said coldly. “I CAN’T DISCOUNT THE POSSIBILITY THAT THE CHAOS GODS CAN EXERT SOME INFLUENCE OVER ME IN THIS FORM. CLEARLY THEY HAVEN’T YET, BUT WHAT IF TZEENTCH FINDS A WAY? I CAN’T RISK IT.”
“So…are you just going to kill yourself and try again?” Vulkan asked, flabbergasted, as his brothers made noises of surprise.
“GIVE ME SOME CREDIT,” the Emperor roared dismissively. “I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE THINGS GET OFF TO A BETTER START WITH YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS, OF COURSE, AND MAKE SOME…STRATEGIC REPLACEMENTS ON THE SENATE OF THE HIGH LORDS OF TERRA BEFORE I EVEN ATTEMPT SUCH A THING. WE’RE TALKING YEARS, HERE.”

File: 1351921361145.png-(93 KB, 300x400, my_oddish_is_baked.png)

I'm really sorry, folks, but I'm too tired to keep going. I'll see you all tomorrow.

File: 1351921441080.jpg-(109 KB, 592x740, 1329375217492.jpg)

>>21409677
See you later, space cowboy.

>>21409341
Finish the story?! Is this it for the Emperasque? No! I won't let you get off this easily, we want Emprahsque, not that other shite.

>>21409743
>Not that other shite
Man, that boggles me. How can people like this alternate-universe story I shit out with no editing or proofing at all, and dislike the alternate-universe story I write very carefully, with outlines and proofreading and careful continuity checking? It's even mostly the same cast!

>>21409763
I think it's more....exciting.
Big characters! Big events! More Heroic Fantasy, less....reality-ish life events.
More escapism. More fun.
Plus you've got an eye for clever, but plausible events, cliffhangers, and small-scene scripting (vocab fail, I know there's a more concise term) like the exchange between Emps and LIIVI.

>>21409763

Plus it had a TvTropes page, which the other doesn't.

>>21409824
>Plus you've got an eye for clever, but plausible events, cliffhangers, and small-scene scripting
I'd like to think I can do that in WHH, too.

>I think it's more....exciting.
>Big characters! Big events! More Heroic Fantasy, less....reality-ish life events.

Now that is certainly true.
I guess I should just appreciate the audience I've managed to retain at all with my shitty posting schedule. Especially since I'm about to vanish from the site completely to write a NaNoWriMo that I won't publish here.

Ah well.

Tomorrow, we finish Tales of the Emperasque.

>>21409851
>NaNoWriMo
Now I must ask what this is.

>>21409953


http://www.nanowrimo.org


National Novel Writing Month.
Marathon writing. Thirty days to write fifty thousand words. I've done it before, I just like the challenge.

>>21410008
Zounds.
Rock on, SE, and read you tomorrow.

Keeping her alive for the boss.

A final bump before bed. Keep the thread alive for SE please.
Middle Earth clocking out.

bump

>>21409130
I do indeed. Sorry I vanished; I got shitfaced and watched Thunderball with my roommate.

>>21412533
>Watching Thundeball instead of being glued to your computer as Emprahesque updates.
Casual.

>>21412635
Yes, I know, my priorities are entirely in the wrong place. My only defence is that it was Sean Connery.

>>21409851
If it makes you feel better, I really liked the WHH series, and not just for the fap fiction.

>>21412836
Likewise although venus's burn was absurdly hot. I like the setting as much as anything else, and the characters are pretty well done. I like reading alternate universe stories for settings I like, because I feel that seeing how a setting reacts to various "what if" senarios also enriches the canon setting itself, by expanding on the personalities and reactions a given character would have in different circumstances. It lets you see a setting from a different angle, basicly, and that adds depth to how you see the original as well.
Considering I only woke up a half hour ago that might not make any sense, but whatever. Carry on Someone Else, all your stories have been great so far and are looking to stay great for the forseeable future.

Bump

File: 1351957967610.jpg-(24 KB, 413x395, you_funny_guy.jpg)

Thanks, folks. I'm going to try to wrap this up pretty soon, but I also have chores and phone-tag to do, so it'll be inconsistent.

>>21412861
>Venus
>Hot
>mfw

Vulkan was silent for a long moment, and his brothers were no doubt sharing his thoughts. “I suppose I can understand your desire not to inhabit that thing any longer than is necessary, at least,” Vulkan said at last.
“OH, YES. OF COURSE THERE ARE HIGHER PRIORITIES THAN MY OWN PERSONAL COMFORT, BUT THAT’S CERTAINLY A PART OF IT.” The Emperor looked up to where Guilliman’s ship was visible as a comet in the sky as it burned around the planet’s orbit at seventy times the speed of sound. “BESIDES, GENTLEMEN, ONE THING HAS NOT CHANGED IN THE TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF MY ABSENCE. I STILL HOLD THAT HUMANITY IS ONLY WORTH CONQUERING THIS TUMULTUOUS GALAXY IF IT IS UNSULLIED. IF ITS LEADER RESORTS TO DAEMONOLOGY AND SORCERY TO GET ANYTHING DONE, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THE IMPERIUM AS A WHOLE? I’D RATHER NOT BE AN ALL-POWERFUL HYPOCRITE, THANKS.”
“Naturally,” Lion said heavily. “That is perfectly true.”
“AS FOR THE REFORMS, I SUSPECT THAT THE PROBLEM WILL JUST BE ONE OF INERITA. ABSENT LEADERSHIP LEADS TO STAGNATION, AFTER ALL.”
Guilliman addressed the elephant in the room with his next comment. “And this…Emperor-worshipping nonsense?”
The Emperor was quiet for a time. “I DON’T KNOW YET. I DON’T THINK IT’S GOING AWAY, CERTAINLY.”
“The fact that it actually does seem to serve as a shield against certain kinds of daemonic forces is troubling,” Lion admitted. “But is it the act of believing in something, or the thing in which one believes, that allows the believer strength?”
“A LITTLE OF BOTH, FROM WHAT I CAN DISCERN,” the Emperor said irritably. “WHICH DOESN’T HELP.”
“Then for now…perhaps we should let it stand, and simply move to stabilize the Imperium as best we can,” Guilliman concluded heavily.

Courtesy bump!

“THAT SEEMS TO BE THE CASE, YES,” the Emperor said. “I KNOW, IT BURNS ME TOO, BUT I DON’T SEE A CHOICE.”
Lion nodded glumly. “Then it stands. If you will, Sire, I must depart for the fronts,” he said, rising to his feet.
“CERTAINLY. MY SONS, GOOD LUCK OUT THERE. VULKAN, A WORD?” the Emperor asked as Guilliman and Lion cut their signals and made for the Warp.
“Yes, Sire?” Vulkan asked.
“I WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS ARTEFACT HUNT IS GOING FOR YOU SO FAR,” the Emperor said. “PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR PRIORITY HAS TO BE THE DEFENSE AND EXPANSION OF THE IMPERIUM, NOT HE’STAN’S JOURNEY.”
“Of course I understand, Father,” Vulkan said patiently. “If I had to, I could remake some myself. But I left this task for my sons to complete. If I told them to abandon it, how would that make me look?”
“A FAIR POINT, MY SON,” the Emperor admitted. He heaved a sigh and rose to depart. “THEN I MUST MAKE FOR TERRA. FARE WELL, VULKAN.”
“Likeiwse, Sire. I’ll see you when I can,” Vulkan said, and cut the transmission.
He turned to his Battle-Brothers, several of whom had been waiting out of vox range for his call to end. “Now then, Salamanders…let’s get to work,” he said proudly. “The Imperium isn’t going to rebuild itself.”

The End.

File: 1351967840466.png-(16 KB, 259x226, Emperasque_2.png)

Bye.

See you in December, when I post my next (final?) WHH story and try to publish my NaNoWriMo.

>>21414995
Thank you for all your hard work! Great story.

>>21409436
First it's 'the Emperor' between brothers, 'Father' to his face...
>>21409610
>>21414024
...Then's it's not really anything...
>>21414989
...And then it's 'Sire.'

There a reason for this?

>>21415053
It's been like that since day one. Besides, not all the Primarchs view the Emperor in the same light. They all know he's not a real god, anyway.

>>21414995
Thanks for the ride boss, a ton of fun as always.

I appreciate your writing Someone Else, though writing your pen name always make me feel like i'm not talking to you...

File: 1351978181095.jpg-(88 KB, 607x459, 1327437232229.jpg)

>>21414995
Ahhhh.
So goes the tales of brighter days and better gods.
Thanks again Someone Else.
It's been a hell of a ride.

>>21416708
My pleasure, Iron Lung, thanks for being there the whole ride. You too, Hodo.

Surely as midnight closes, my shift has finally ended and I see it now. The end has come at last!

I'm a bit sad to see it end for now, but I'm grateful to see it properly closed.
Just seeing just how far this has gone from a stupid little thread... how long has it been?

Anyway, good luck with your nano-thangamadang.

I wish I could type as fast as Someone Else that way I could actually finish my 900 page Xmas present for /tg/