Stroking the F5 key with my dick-tip right now.

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I am waiting in great anticipation.

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First: the Doctrines. Doctrines are essentially universal rules that everyone must follow throughout the game or suffer dire/dumb consequences. Our two Doctrines were pretty meh, but we hadn’t been drinking very long. Here they are:

DOCTRINE UNO: “When declaring a Time Moment, you must take a drink of your beer. Failure to do so within five seconds of declaring a Time Moment will not only make you a huge bitch, but you must also drink the remainder of your beer. Bitch.”

DOCTRINE ZWEI: “No harm may come to cats or any animal of the feline nature. Failure to prevent harm to such creatures not only makes you Pussy of the Night, but you must also finish the remainder of your beer.”

Now, because we were starting fresh and with barely a clue as to how begin, I pulled out a list of my “Verb the Nouns.” I was bored during work earlier that day (I substitute teach), so I pulled out my journal and began writing “Verb the Nouns.” Verb the Nouns are the basic ingredients for the improvisation during the character creation phase. For those who are unaware of the game mechanics, player creation stems from the TM (Time Master) describing a mundane day for one of the characters. If a player likes the particular day, he declares that day and time to be his character’s origin story. So, when describing a mundane day, I would pull out my “Verb the Nouns” at random.

For example, let’s say that on Tuesday at 5:30 in the Evening, a character decides he is going to cook a burrito. He cooks the beef, cuts some cheese, spreads a little green stuff on top, drops a few beans, oils the food, wraps the burrito, and bakes that shit. He then sets the alarm and takes the dog for a walk. If my counting is correct (I doubt it), there are nine Verb the Nouns right there. A player can decide to declare that day and time as his character’s, and choose five of the nine phrases as his Time Wizard Powers. He then becomes Tuesday at 5:30 in the Evening the Time Wizard.

>>28092145
Planning to play this with a group once we scrounge up enough d4s. There will be much F5ing tonight.

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My friend Grant is given a different scenario than the one listed above, and chose the following phrases: “Make it sweet,” “Oil the food,” “Change the baby,” “Drain the vein,” and “Set the alarm.” He is known as Monday at 10:45 in the Evening. I also make a character for Grant to use in addition to Monday. Wednesday at 8:15 in the Evening, friend to Monday at 10:45 in the Evening, had the following phrases as his Time Wizard powers: “Tie the knot,” “Choke the chicken,” “Spread the green,” “Replace the chair,” and “Cut the cheese.” With these two unlikely heroes(?) finally created, I (as the Time Master) had to create the setting.

The year was 17X9. The Fourth Crusade was well on its way. Jerusalem, The Holy Land, was currently held by the Muslims; though, the fate of such ownership was about to be challenged. Enter our her—err, protagonists: Monday at 10:45 in the Evening and Wednesday at 8:15 in the Evening, both controlled by my friend Grant. As M & W are patrolling about the city’s walls, they see a single torch waver in the vast and dark emptiness in front of them. The one torch becomes two, then four, then a hundred, then a much bigger number than a hundred but less than around a million. Whatever, there’s a lot of torches, guys. ANYWAY, voices begin to rise along with the torches.

“What do the voices sound like?” Grant asks me. “Like, their tone. Do they sound angry?”

“They sound like Christians,” I reply.

“Shit,” he murmurs. “That means whoever these guys are, they’re probably upset about something.”

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With this, the din of hooves hitting hard dirt became apparent. As the third moon rose above the clouds, its unholy illumination revealed the source of the sound: completely mundane Christian knights riding their horses. And a mile behind the knights: serfs and slaves, carrying improvised weapons and giant ladders! Damn, they were planning on the ol’ Battle of Helm’s Deep Shoots and Ladders Strat of 1492. Things were about to get hairy.

A great SLAP hit the table as Grant yelled “I DECLARE A TIME MOMENT.” Then he drank his PBR.

Things were about to get more hairy than previously thought.

Okay, so, let me take a moment in time to explain Time Moments. Time Moments are when the Time Wizards shine, because they can use one of their Time Wizard powers to affect the playing field. In order to figure out who succeeds and who fails, there is a dice mechanic. Each player (TM included) gets a pool of 5d12s and 5d4s. Depending on how chaotic the scene, the more or less dice one can bet at a given time. War is pretty fucking chaotic, so I make the Chaos Rating a 2. This means that each player can bet up to 2 dice per turn. The players definitely don’t want the TM to grab any dice, but they want their fellow Time Wizards to grab dice. The more dice you have, the better your chance to get a high number. If—after rolling your captured dice—you roll a higher number than the TM has, you succeed. If you roll all your dice and your total number is lower than the TM’s rolled total, your Time Wizard power fails in some way, shape, or form

Basically: toss d12s in hopes that your fellow Time Wizards grab the d12s, toss d4s to hurt others in their mad scramble to slap the dice. Remember: d4s are pointy d12s aren’t pointy. Players don’t want the TM to get high numbers, but some selfish players may just toss out d4s because they are assholes and want to cause some pain. To each their own: Time Wizards encourages all forms of tomfoolery.

>>28092145
>clawr853@gmail.com

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So, to keep this less wordy and more actiony, both Monday and Wednesday have higher numbers than the Time Wizard’s total number. Monday goes first: at the beginning of the Time Moment, he wrote down one of his five powers. The power he wrote down was “Make it sweet.” Monday decides that the battlefield is now covered in giant crystalline boulders of hard sugar, making “it” (the battlefield) “sweet.” With time still completely stopped, the huge chunks of hard sugar appear all around Jerusalem. An interesting obstacle for the knights. Then comes Wednesday’s chosen power: “Replace the chair.” Wednesday (still controlled by Grant) decides to replace each knight’s saddle (their “chair”) with a giant spike. When asked what the spike would be made of, Grant replied, “A spike up the ass is a spike up the ass. Does it really matter what it’s made out of?” With that, I nodded and asked if either wizard wanted to Dilate Time (more on this later). Grant declined, the Time Moment ended, and time began moving at normal speed.

The knights, their collective anus now penetrated by a foreign (likely leathery) spike, were unable to concentrate on the task of steering their horses away from the giant crystals of sugar; thus, they all died from either blunt-force trauma or rectal bleeding. Probably both. Needless to say, a large portion of the serfs and slaves turn 180 degrees and peaced out. Unfortunately for the Time Wizards, a good 21% of the peons continued charging forward, picking up extra ladders dropped by their comrades as they moved. Easily dodging the saddle-spikes and sugar rocks, they began setting up their ladders along the walls of Jerusalem.

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SLAP. “I DECLARE A TIME MOMENT!” Grant declared, guzzling more PBR. We were a few cans in by now, though our livers are pretty advanced against such standard faire. He wrote down the two phrases he’d like to use for Monday and Wednesday and then we began rolling dice. You all must remember that typically fellow Time Wizards don’t know what other Time Wizards are going to do; but, considering I only had one friend willing to do this at the time…. I’ll take what I can get. Unfortunately for Wednesday, I had a higher number than him; though, Monday’s total was higher than my own, so his power got to succeed. Monday wrote, “Oil the food,” so he declared the peons/slaves/serfs as “food” and decided to have them become covered in rocket fuel. Okay, done. Wednesday wrote down, “Tie the knot.” Since Wednesday failed to get a higher number than me, Time Master Supreme, I decided that “Tie the knot” meant that the ladders wanted to have a marriage (a “holy union” if you will) and merge to become MEGALADDER: CRUSHER OF KINGDOMS, SURROUNDED BY HIS BROOD-ORGY OF MINI-LADDERS… With peons covered in rocket fuel clinging to it and the mini-ladders.
Grant blinked at me. “I wanna Dilate Time.”
This is when things got weird.
See, Time Dilation is basically “Double or Nothing,” except replace “Nothing” with “Something-Better-Or-Worse-Than-Double.” More dice are thrown during the betting phase, previous effects stack with current effects, and it just gets all-around CA-RAZY. Monday and Wednesday wrote down their chosen power for this round, more dice are thrown, and the results are in: they both failed miserably. Which means I got to have fun.

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Monday: “Change the baby.” I decided that the mini-ladders writhing against MEGALADDER were its babies; thus, the mini-ladders “changed” into F16 Jet Planes, soon to be fed by the rocket fuel surrounding them.

Wednesday: “Spread the green.” I mentioned in an off-handed comment earlier to Grant that there were some shrubberies surrounding Jerusalem; so, I made the shrubberies grow into a 1ft-thick wall covering the walls of Jerusalem. Doesn’t seem too bad. For now. But, those jet planes looked pretty fierce. Grant, head in hands, whispers a most excellent whisper that changed the entire game: “Dilate it again.”

This was Grant’s last chance. Almost all of the 5d12s and 5d4s had been rolled on all sides. These totals would either destroy any hope of the Time Wizards succeeding, or turn the tide. Or, just generally fuck everything up. Who knows with this game. And since I’m already getting pretty wordy, I’ll just cut to the chase: they totally kicked my ass during this last slap phase. With these successes in mind, they revealed their powers.

Monday: “Drain the vain.” Monday said that he drains MEGALADDER of all its pulpy juiciness, making it brittle and weak. Poor MEGALADDER… But what of the jet planes? Surely once time resumes, they’re going to go apeshit.

Wednesday: “Choke the chicken.” Wednesday (Still my friend Grant, mind you) explained the following line of logic: Another word for “chicken” is “cock.” A “cockpit” is where the pilot of a jet plane typically controls said jet plane. To “choke” is to constrict or crush. With all this in mind, Wednesday said that he will “Choke the chicken” by crushing the cockpit of each F16—causing them to harmlessly crumple to the ground outside the walls of Jerusalem once time resumes. Which it then does.

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And in a flash, the ladders become a giant ladder, serfs get covered in rocket fuel, baby ladders turn into jet planes which immediately become worthless chunks of metal, and MEGALADDER disintegrates into sawdust. Everything seemed great—oh except for the rocket fuel covering the peons who also happened to be carrying torches. Next to the giant wall of flammable grass. Which was surrounding the entirety of Jerusalem. FWOOOSH, just like that, Jerusalem was a holocaust. As oxygen was being sucked out of the surrounding area, Muslims everywhere rushed to the middle of their holy land. Watching the inferno spread, Monday and Wednesday decided that they needed to make this right.

SLAP. “I DECLARE A TIME MOMENT!!” Grant yelled. He also forgets to drink his beer, which I call him out on. What a bitch. After the bitch drank his drank, he wrote down what powers Monday and Wednesday would be using for this round. After the slap phase, it appears that Monday had a higher number than the Time Master; though, the Time Master had a higher number than Wednesday.

Monday: “Change the baby.” I don’t even remember how he convinced me how this made sense. I think he said that Jerusalem was considered the “baby city of God.” Also, Los Angeles was the “city of angels, and angels are basically like God’s babies, right?” So, Monday switched Jerusalem with modern-day LA. With all the 17X9 Muslims along with it. But hey, no more inferno of death, right? What could possibly go wro-

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>>28092433
>Jerusalem was considered the “baby city of God.” Also, Los Angeles was the “city of angels, and angels are basically like God’s babies, right?” So, Monday switched Jerusalem with modern-day LA.

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Wednesday: “Cut the cheese.” Mind you, Wednesday failed. I’m in charge now. I decide that “the cheese” actually meant “the BIG cheese.” And that “cut” meant “assassinate.” Fortunately for the Time Wizards, it was a failed use of powers, so that attempt on the big cheese of LA (and all of the United States, really)’s life did not result in a death. However, Los Angeles police were now on high alert, looking for two dudes who looked very similar to Monday and Wednesday.

-------
And with that, we ended the game since we were both getting a little hammered at this point.

Tonight, I play with 4 players (Grant being one of them). I hope that playing this with more people will be more fruitful, but we’ll see. I’ll be sure to let you guys know how it goes. Thanks for reading, and feel free to post suggestions or questions here!

>>28092189
>>28092189
>>28092189
>>28092189

Well, this just goes to show me I need friends to play this fucking game with.

Someone archive this shit.

OP, how is the crunch?

Yes, I understand how retarded that question is.

I haven't had a chance to read the book very throughly, but a lot of it don't make sense.

My head hurts but this was enjoyable.

>>28092518
It's stupid and confusing, but that's the intent I guess. I didn't play around with Time Travel or having a Time Moment during a Time Unit's specific Time Unit, but the slap phase is actually a lot of fun--even with two people (with the one person pretending that his right hand is one character while his left hand is the other).

You need to be forced to bet at least half of the chaos rating per round, though. Otherwise you'll have rounds where no one bets and the game just turns into a slagfest of slowness. So if the chaos rating is 2, each player (TM included) must bet at least 1 dice (either a d4 or a d12). If time is dilated to a chaos rating of 4, then you need to bet at least 2 dice, and so on. I mean, your dice pool consists of a total of 10 dice anyway. Once you get to a third Time Dilation, it's going to get wacky.

>>28092518
>>28092584
Also, we skipped the whole "gargle soda while explaining your action" bit that Time Dilation brings up. We might try to bring it into the game tonight, but it's really messy and although I get what it is supposed to simulate, it just seems to be more of a pain than anything else.

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I was feeling down, this thread was just what I needed.
Thank you kind Time Wizard sir.

>>28092584
>>28092620

Cool, thanks.

So the basic mechanic is that you want to roll higher than the TM.

And that you bet dice (the ones you have to roll, right? ) based on the Chaos Rating.

Alright guys, I'm heading out. I have a 45-minute drive ahead of me to get to the place where tonight's game is going down. We're starting at 10pm EST and ending sometime before 2am EST. If this thread is still up somehow by tomorrow when I get home, I'll update it with the night's adventure. If not, I'll just make a new one at about this time tomorrow.

Have a great night, /tg/. Thanks for reading.

>>28092728
Godspeed, OP.

Other people in the thread, tell us stories about Time Wizards and/or other fucking weird games you've played.

>>28092713
Correct. If the scene is chaotic, the rating is gonna be a 2 and you'll roll up to 2 die per person. If it's a little weird, it's a 4. If it's completely mundane, it's a 6. If you were on a Plane of Law and Order, it'd probably be an 8. And if you do Time Dilations, it goes up by another 2 per Dilation.

okay, NOW I'm leaving

>>28092518
Archived.

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Also, here is the pdf.

>>28092242
>“They sound like Christians,” I reply.
>“Shit,” he murmurs. “That means whoever these guys are, they’re probably upset about something.”

At the risk of sounding euphoric, I 'ad a giggle.

>>28092765
You are a wonderful person and I respect you as a lady.

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>MFW I know TM Lawrence but work late tonight and don't have gas money

>>28093960
2sad4me

Tell us stories, sir.
Please.

And then thread fell silent

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>>28092838
That's not the revised edition, you fool!

Oh god what? Somebody already did a revision of the time wizards! As the guy who put the brainstorm ideas and flowcharts together one drunken weekend, this makes me so proud. Well, I did use characters from /tg/ and the examples were a bit too sexual now that I read them again... I was supposed to make a new revision of it by myself because of those concerns of mine but damn if this wasn't an awesome surprise.

I still wonder if Kroft ever did dig the original rules up.

But still, for someone to put a pretty PDF together from my ramblings and even explain it in normal English is a feat.

>>28096197
Seriously though, I had been meaning to do some kind of revision of Meanwhile, Time Wizards! but had been hitting a constant wall, both technical when my comp decided to die on me and my inability to get the game mechanics into proper form that people could understand.

You know I was thinking of doing revision with nothing but those god awful action charts?

>>28095723
God damn it's beautiful, man.

Bumping for people.

>>28095723
It seems like the pdf misses the "Yes" and "Nope" cards.

And the changes cards are still as bad as they were the day I did that picture of them.

Gotta redo those sometime today.

>>28101296
Yep, the revised edition misses the flowchart with all the actions lined up in a correct order (which was super useful) and explainations of yes/nope cards. I don't really know why they removed it.

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>That whole story

And that happened with ONE player.

Today's session will be interesting whether it succeeds or not.

Been considering putting my players through Time Wizards as a wacky quick game for a while, while I sort out some IRL issues.

Bumping for this thread so I can see how it works out in the end.

Bumping this thread. Damn this is some pretty funny shit, reading through the .pdf now.

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Dear god this is still alive...

I guess I'll start typing. I have a lot to discuss.

>>28108398
Hammering on the f5 because inbuilt functions cannot keep up fast enough.

>>28108398
I'm F5ing even though I have 4chan X. WE MISSED YOU, TM LAWRENCE.

>>28092356
>few cans in
>standard faire
>PBRs

I take it you don't drink much.

>>28108409
>>28108548
Gonna take me awhile to parse this one through. I'd say come back in another 45 minutes or so. I'm multitasking with cooking and writing, so it's taking me longer than I expected.

>>28108557
if only you knew how wrong you are

>>28108398

IT BEGINS

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I'm still a bit preoccupied, so here's a taste folks:

Okay, /tg/. Story time. Again. I really don’t know where to begin.

First, the players. There’s Grant, he’s been a longtime friend and player in my tabletop group. Nate, whose apartment we used for this game, has also been a longtime friend and player in the tabletop group. Tark, Nate’s friend, I have only met once before. I don’t know him very well, but he’s a clever guy from what I remember.

At this point, it’s about 10PM and we’re all trying to determine Doctrines. Our four Doctrines for tonight were as follows:

DOCTRINE UNO: “When you slap the table for a Time Moment Declaration, you must drink a large swig of your beer. Failure to do so will result in drinking the remainder of the beer. You’re also still a bitch.”

DOCTRINE ZWEI: “No elbows on the table during a Time Moment. For each elbow on the table, take away 2 points from your next roll. Max 3 penalties per Time Moment.”

DOCTRINE TROJKA: “If you beat the Time Master’s roll by 15 points, you may change the coefficient on friction between two objects (make the floor slippery to anything wearing rubber, for example).”

DOCTRINE FOUR: “The following words are prohibited: ‘Drink,’ ‘Drank,’ and ‘Drunk.’ Really, any word that starts with DR and ends with NK. If you violate this Doctrine, you must imbibe most heavily of your beer. You must also randomize your next Time Wizard power. If the Time Master violates this rule, he must randomize the power of a Time Wizard who fails to roll higher than the Time Wizard.”

A familiar Doctrine surrounded by three strange new Doctrines. And believe me, they all get used.

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Now for our Time Wizards. They are:

Grant AKA: Saturday at 10 o’clock in the Evening. His powers include “Crush the vision,” “Dump the load,” “Steal the object,” “Drain the vein,” and “Move the brew.”

Nate AKA Tuesday at Noon o’clock in the Noon. His powers are “Make it sweet,” “Tie the knot,” “Shoot the breeze,” “Reject the call,” and “Kick the ball.”

Finally, we have Tark AKA Thursday at Midnight o’clock in the Morning/Evening. His powers consist of “Bend the resolve,” “Replace the chair,” “Spank the monkey,” “Persuade the cat,” and the extremely controversial “Argue the semantics.”

You’ll notice there are some repeated powers from the last game. Well, to save time (many of us had to work or go to class in the morning), I just let them snake my giant list of Verb the Nouns through themselves. These are what they picked.

With this all in mind, we replenished our brews (Sam Adams Oktoberfest for Nate, Grant, and myself—milk and snickerdoodles for Tark) and I began to weave the setting:

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THE DISTANT FUTURE. THE YEAR 2000. The SETTING: THE UNDERWATER FORTRESS OF ZUUL THE EVERLASTING: ATLANTIC CITY—FORMERLY ATLANTIS CITY.

Our three Time Wizards were scumming around a sleazy future bar when—suddenly—rogue half-seahorse/half-starfish bandits busted into the joint. They immediately started shooting up the place with their baby starfish ninja star star throwers. Distant future water brews had been spilled and prized octopus whores began screaming from their super sexy beaks.

“Okay guys,” I begin. “What do you guys d-“

“I comfort one of the octo-whores,” Tark interrupts, his face not looking altogether eager—but not entirely disinterested either.

“Okay, Thursday goes to comfort one of the pucker-poppers. Saturday? Tuesday? What do you two do?”

“I’m gonna hide under the table and finish my water brew,” Grant says.

Nate nods. “Yeah, me too.”

So, while Thursday calms the octoslut to the point that she coos softly from that plump beak and the Tues/Sat dream team begin guzzling future beer under a table, eight half-seahorse/half-starfish bandits point their baby starfish ninja star star throwers at the half-trout/half-mermaid bartender. In their ancient tongue, they demand all of the bartender’s future sea cash. They seem to be especially incensed because of the bartender’s race: see, he appears to just be a very large trout, but that’s because of his half-mermaid blood. Really. He wouldn’t be making this stuff up, guys. If he could get away with being full trout, he totally would.

Before they fire their complex gunthings, Grant slaps the table. “I WOULD LIKE TO DECLARE A TIME MOMENT.” Beer and milk are quaffed. The game truly begins.

>>28109830

>“Argue the semantics.”

Oh god maximum meta.

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All three players submit their chosen Time Wizard powers. The Chaos Rating is given a 2—this is pretty fucking weird. Dice are thrown all about and it’s a mad scramble on all sides. Nate and Tark are both caught with their elbows on the table—a violation of DOCTRINE ZWEI. The totals are rolled once the betting phase is over: Grant 17, Tark 9-2=7, Lawrence 4, Nate 3-2=1. Not bad. Let’s see what they did.

Grant/Saturday: “Move the brew.” Success. Saturday moves the future water brews into the bloodstreams of all the bandits. Death by alcohol poisoning seems imminent.

Tark/Thursday: “Spank the monkey.” Success. Thursday changes the mechanics of the baby starfish ninja star star throwers to be Flintstonian—that is, the mechanics of the star throwers are controlled by tiny half-seamonkey/half-regularmonkey creatures inside the star throwers. Well, the half-seamonkey/half-regularmonkey mechanics get “spanked” by the other inner-workings of the guns. And get eviscerated. Which apparently makes the star throwers not operate properly anymore. Okay, whatever.

Nate/Tuesday: “Shoot the breeze.” Failure. Future Drew Breeze, who was in Distant Future Underwater Atlantic City for a diplomatic mission along with the New Orleans Saints football team, is shot by the baby starfish ninja star star throwers—which are now blowing up like Glocknades due to their jammed mechanics via monkey spankage.

No Time Dilation is declared, so the Time Moment ends and time resumes as normal.

Sorry, these posts are gonna slow down for a bit. I got a meeting I must attend. I'm sure this will stay alive long enough for me to continue posting through the night.

>>28110340
It fucking better.

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CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT, OP

RETURN POSTHASTE

>>28110005
>THE DISTANT FUTURE. THE YEAR 2000.
>“I comfort one of the octo-whores,” Tark interrupts
Yes, this is how it's done.

>>28108859
Beer barely even counts as alcohol. It's like, liquid bread or something. That said, give Fat Tire or Hacker-Pschorr a try if you want something that tastes halfway decent- my mother swears by the stuff, and the two of you seem to have similar tastes.

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Waiting for Time Wizards.

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Time WIZAAAAAAAARDS

Waaaiting for Wallace.

We need to know what happened!

Await the OP

I have to leave now. Keep the thread alive!

Necromancy is your friend.

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Goddammit, OP.

Guys.
Guys, what if.
What if we're all time wizards who accidentally declared a Time Moment?

>>28113846
I declare it stop now...

Where is OP?

Lawrence, this thread will stay alive for you. We will wait for you.

I'm going to do a bump before I head to bed. I hope you're here in the morning.

bump

>>28110340
HOW LONG IS THIS FUCKING MEETING

op is kill

>>28117366
how

>>28117427
Don't know. It all happened so suddenly.

>>28117490
How could we let this happen.

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>>28117580

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We're waaaiting!

Bumping for op.

Lawrence!!! Please come back! I wanna see him argue the semantics.

>>28109830
>Noon o’clock in the Noon
Wow. That's... kinda strange.

>>28118475
So do we all, anon, so do we all.

>>28117662
NOOOOOOOOO
poorly disguised bump

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>Explain game to friends
>Get a time
>They quit at character creation because it's boring

>>28119190
>>28119190
>not pregenerated characters
>not playing fiasco

i bet you ran them through pathfinder character creation too

you earned that one

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I think we all chose dirt here.

>>28117427

He became a time unit.

>>28119733
His powers are:

>Attend the meeting
>Continue the story
>Bump the thread
>Postpone the excitement
>Cook the food

>>28092947
Don't worry you don't sound euphoric I'm a Christian and I giggled.

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guys...

guys I'm back

i will continue typing post-haste

this story must be finished

Rolled 12

>>28120690
YES. YES!

>>28120690
Hip hip hooray

>>28120690
YES. MOAR.

MOAR MOAR.

AND MOAR MOAR THAN THAT!

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>>28120690
Hell yeah, motherfucker.

>>28120690
I have really been in to the whole Tabletop game, but the more I read into this Time Wizards Trial run, the more I wanna play it.

I love you /tg/

>>28121136
Yeah, it sounds complex, but also easy enough - the only thing you are limited by is your imagination, and I doubt /tg/ lacks that quality (/tg/ as a whole that is, not an individual).

For example.
>You encounter a forum troll, how do you deal with it?
>[They see me rolling] -> Take away 'roll' from 'troll' leaving him a singular 't' and a lot less powerful.
>[Donning the fedora] -> the players/t wears fedoras and become euphoric.
>[Cooking the fries] -> players/t are covered in cooking oil.

Etc. etc.

Time Wizard powers sound a lot like Stands from Jojo come to think of it.

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Before I began describing the events the proceeded after time resumed, Nate makes an off-hand remark: “I bet that ‘Move the brew’ power really messed up those bandits.”

“Yeah,” I replied, chuckling. “They’re drunk as fuck, dude.”

“DOCTRINE FOUR!!!!” they yell, pointing their pointy pointer fingers at me.

“You motherfuckers,” I murmur, taking a long swig from my beverage.

Now, next time someone failed to beat my roll during the end of the next slap phase, their power would be randomized. Not terrible for me, but it certainly forced me to improvise more than usual.

In any case, the scene: the half-seahorse/half-starfish bandits are all dead due to the immense amount of future alcohol poisoning. As they fall, their baby starfish ninja star star throwers become jammed with half-seamonkey/half-regularmonkey guts. And then they explode, with all of their sharp gears and sprockets and monkey bones impaling themselves into Future Drew Breeze. As Future Drew Breeze slumps against the ground, the entire New Orleans Saints team busts into the scummy future bar—and boy are they pissed.

Two hands. Two voices. “I’D LIKE TO DECLARE A TIME MOMENT” and “I WANNA TIME MOMENT” were said in unison—the former voice belonging to Tark and the latter to Nate. After politely reminding Nate of the proper way to start a Time Moment (“It’s ‘I would like to declare a time moment,’ you dumb shit”), I allowed them to begin writing their chosen powers. The slap phase was a bloody one: with the Chaos Rating at 4, everyone could bet up to 4 dice (minimum: 2). I was particularly lucky during this slap phase, grabbing 2d12 and 2d4. We rolled our dice and got our totals: Tark 17, Lawrence 15, Grant 14, Nate 10. One success and two failures. Time to get weird.

>>28121475
OhboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyIt's better than bacon

were doin this bro were makin it happen

I am laughing too hard to properly type this so I'm using speech to text. Double space you are an evil fucker. Double space and now to try and do a cab to with voice to text

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Tark/Thursday: “Argue the semantics.” Success. When I wrote down this power, I knew it’d be a little OP. Tark does exactly as expected: he argues that the New Orleans Saints team that busts into the bar wouldn’t necessarily have to be the same team that Dying Future Drew Breeze typically played on. There could very easily be a middle school New Orleans Saints team. I did not specifically say –which- New Orleans Saints team busted in; thus, the bar is now full of pissed off 13 year olds.

Grant/Saturday: “Drain the vein.” Failure. I decide that Dying Future Drew Breeze is a pretty vain dude; so, I drain his huge ego into all of the middle schoolers. They now believe that if they kill the Time Wizards, they will get their Superbowl Rings. Uh oh.

Nate/Tuesday: (Randomized) “Reject the call.” Failure. Dying Future Drew Breeze rejects the call from Death. He is now Zombie Future Drew Breeze. And he’s hungry for Time Wizard brains.

“Fuck it,” Grant says, backhanding the air. “Dilate this shit.”

Tark and Nate hesitate, then nod. They Dilate Time. The Chaos Rating is now 6: up to 6 dice may be thrown, with a minimum bet of 3. This slap phase was even more hectic than before, with all sorts of dice being tossed about. The results: Grant 31, Lawrence 19, Nate 14, Tark 10. One success and two failures. This is a pattern I like to see.

Best thread on /tg/ right now

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Grant/Saturday: “Crush the vision.” Success. The middle school New Orleans Saints team’s vision of ever winning a Superbowl is now crushed. Their bloodlust is temporarily sated as they become hormonal, babbling, depressed messes.

Nate/Tuesday. “Shoot the Breeze.” Failure. The planets above Atlantic City realign in a most malign formation. This particular formation of planets shoots Zombie Future Drew Breeze full of gamma rays, turning him into Hulk Zombie Future Drew Breeze. Sheesh.

Tark/Thursday. “Persuade the cat.” Failure. Suddenly, sentient MRI machines drop into the bar and are persuaded by Hulk Zombie Future Drew Breeze to fight for him. They do so. MRI machines are the things that do CAT scans, in case you were wondering how I created that jump in logic.

At this moment, Tark gets up from the table and declares that he must go home. I decide that Tuesday at Midnight o’clock in the Morning/Evening the Time Wizard realizes that it is currently Tuesday at Midnight o’clock and that wants to rock this octo-whore with his increased powers; thus, he disappears in the midst of the Dilated Time Moment. Thursday and Saturday fully understand and respect Tuesday’s decision, as he had picked the best looking octopus slut in all of Future Atlantic City.

With that, Nate and Grant both agree: they must go deeper. The Time Moment is Dilated one final time.

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Chaos Rating: 8.

Remaining dice: barely enough to make the minimum.

Hands: sore.

BAC: rising.

This slap phase was a vital phase. A brutal phase. Every die meant more than its predecessors. Evenly the despised four-sided die was coveted for its ability to add even a single point to an overall score. Beers were carefully placed out of way. “I don’t want you to see this,” I whispered to my beer, as I kissed its lip—perhaps for the last time.

Unheard of tactics were utilized. This phase was known as “The Scoop Phase,” as players attempted to arm sweep entire swaths of precious dice into their possession. Words were said that cannot be unsaid. Bruises covered wrists. Beer… Beer was spilled.

Slap phase… Slap phase never changes.

Nate 23, Grant 21, Lawrence 4. Two successes, no failures. Except for my own. The Time Wizards smile at one another and point out DOCTRINE TROJKA: “If you beat the Time Master’s roll by 15 points, you may change the coefficient on friction between two objects (make the floor slippery to anything wearing rubber, for example).” They had both beaten my score.

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>>28122195

Oh shit

>>28122195
SHIT JUST GOT REAL SON

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Nate/Tuesday:

DOCTRINE TROJKA SHENANIGANS: The plastic tracks and magnets inside of the MRI machines. The magnets stop moving inside of the tracks, making the MRIs inert and unable to assist Hulk Zombie Future Drew Breeze.

“Kick the ball.” Success. The loss of the MRIs is a metaphorical “kick in the balls” for Hulk Zombie Future Drew Breeze. He feels as if he will not win this fight, which eliminates his Hulk form. Now he is just Zombie Future Drew Breeze.

Grant/Saturday:

DOCTRINE TROJKA SHENANIGANS: The floor and anyone wearing footwear with rubber soles. The floor now becomes slippery for anyone wearing footwear with rubber soles (the sobbing middle schoolers).

“Steal the object.” Success. Grant claims that he will “steel” an object, turning the object into steel. He does so with Zombie Future Drew Breeze’s brain. Zombie Future Drew Breeze’s brain becomes a hunk of steel. Zombie Future Drew Breeze thus becomes Dead Future Drew Breeze..

>>28122458
Damn, I must once play this game. Except that I don't drink... Hmm. dilemma.

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Nate and Grant smile. They feel pretty good about this. With this being the last Time Dilation possible, time now resumes with each effect playing out one immediately after the other. Now, imagine you are the half-trout/half-mermaid bartender, standing behind the bar’s counter. The last thing he had seen before time had stopped a second time was all of his future booze disappearing, the bandits collapsing, their weapons exploding into Future Drew Breeze, and a group of football players who may or may not have been the professional NFL team.

Now, imagine you are the half-trout/half-mermaid bartender. In succession, Schrödinger’s Saints suddenly choose to become middle schoolers, the children become bloodthirsty, Future Drew Breeze rises from the floor, the bloodthirsty children suddenly start sobbing, Zombie Future Drew Breeze becomes bigger (and greener), fucking MRI machines capable of thought and emotion bust from the ceiling and are convinced by Hulk Zombie Future Drew Breeze to fight for him, the MRI machines suddenly die, Hulk Zombie Future Drew Breeze gets sad and becomes smaller again, the weeping children eat shit as they slip around, and Zombie Future Drew Breeze falls forward--his skull cracking open to reveal a brain-sized lump of steel.

All of this happens in somewhere around five seconds.

The bar is quiet. It smells strange. Like wasted future water brew. Like hopes raised and crushed within a second. Like gamma rays. Like dead famous future football players. Like ectoplasm. Like truckstop sushi. Like tasty pe—wait a minute....

“Like ectoplasm”?

>>28122507
>Except that I don't drink
It's never too late to start.

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>>28122585

The ride never ends

>>28092272

>why did someone screencap this?

>>28122656
>Why did i laugh and save it?

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The ceiling—what was left of it, anyway—is torn apart. Walls are disintegrated. The half-trout/half-mermaid screams an ancient future curse and hides inside of the bar counter. He knows what is about to happen.

Enter a floating baby, an aura of sickly purple-pink surrounding him. This baby would be otherwise mundane—if it were not for its face. The baby’s face appears to be that of an ugly grown man, his mouth twisted in a happily evil snarl. He surveys the surrounding mess as he bobs up and down in his constant hovering.

“I AM ZUUL THE EVERLASTING,” the baby booms. “YOU HAVE CAUSED GREAT CHAOS TO MY BEAUTIFUL UNDERWATER FORTRESS OF THE FUTURE. NOW YOU WILL DIE, TIME WIZARDS.”

It turns out that the Time Wizards are currently in a universe in which the events of Ghostbusters II went very VERY differently. The Ghostbusters of this universe, unable to convince the people of New York to believe, were unable to stop Zuul (Vigo Von Homburg Deutschendorf in the guise of the Terror Dog) from possessing Baby Oscar. Now, years later, Zuul/Vigo controls the underwater fortress of Atlantic City as he awaits his baby form to grow into man form.

What will the Time Wizards do? Well, that’ll have to wait til next time, faithful viewers! For this is the end of TIME WIZARDS: EPISODE TWO.

“El tiempo de los magos es acabado!”
-END

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>>28122727

Fucking amazing.

>>28122727
I love you

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And... that's it, /tg/. That's all I got. If you want, I can upload the entire Word document of this story onto 1d4chan for future reference. As always: thank you for reading and enjoying the events. It was a pleasure entertaining you. Feel free to post in this thread if you have any questions or ideas or whatever else. I'll be here for awhile.

If not: have a great day, /tg/. This glass is on me.

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>>28122585
>>28122727
Oh dear god I must play this now.

/tg/ gets shit done.

It...it's been so long..

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>>28122727

Some bystanders standing too close to me were just killed by the force of my side rocketing away from my body.

Someone screencap. Please.

I'm glad you all liked this. It might be another week or two before I can get another session in. I'll also type up my Verb the Noun list so that you guys can have that as a kickstarter for any fledgling Time Masters to use at their leisure.

>>28123073
It is currently in the sup/tg/ archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

>36 positive votes
You guys are awesome.

Best thread today, my day is made.
Thank you, OP.

So you decided to leave out the various cards that are mentioned in the rulebook?

Also, if one player throws in dice at a time, does that mean you had 3 players slapping for 1 or 2 dice?

I don't think my house would survive if I ran this with my group, haha

>>28123351
>The cards

Well, every time I played this, I was kinda thrown into the situation without giving myself enough time to make the cards. Next time I play, I'll be ready... With the Yes cards, the No cards, and the Chance cards. This game is going to get even crazier.

>the slap phase

Let's say that Grant is throwing dice first and the Chaos Rating is a 2. He can throw up to 2 dice, with a minimum bet of 1 die (half the rating is the minimum you can throw). He decides to toss two dice and yells "SLAP" as he does so. Suddenly, it is a mad scramble for Nate, Tark, and myself to grab these two dice. When I throw my dice, Grant, Tark, and Nate will slap at my dice (usually d4s). And so on, until all players have thrown dice.

Make sense?

>>28123427
>(usually d4s)
You are an evil man.

>>28123427
Gotcha, thanks for clarifying

>>28123427
>Make sense?
If it did it wouldn't be Time Wizards.

>>28123450
That's where Time Dilation can work in the Time Wizards' favor. If I keep tossing d4s over and over, I could very well run out of d4s to bet by the third or even second Dilation. Then I'm forced to bet d12s, which really hurts me and helps the Time Wizards. That is, of course, as long as they still have enough dice to bet by then.

>>28123465
No problem, man.

>>28123482
hahah very true, should've thought of that before I typed that.

Hey guys, pdf-maker bro here. It makes me endlessly happy that somebody was able to play the game. It makes me endlessly happy that somebody is storytiming it.

Allow me to clarify a couple of decisions for the Revised Edition. First, I left the flowchart out because it included a few things that were deemed outdated (the paradox resolution especially). Also, the YES and NOPE cards were left out because that's something that individual groups should make, not something that should be decided as an all-encompassing thing.

As always, I'm gonna plug the wiki page. If you guys notice anything that needs to be changed please feel free to post it there

I'm intrigued to try this out... but I doubt me or my friends are crazy enough for this.

One day I'll find out

>>28122933
Yes please.

>>28123516
This is a confusing game. I like it.

>>28124323
Art_Wizard here. Thanks a bunch again, man, for making the PDF. It was absolute blast to see something like that.

The wiki says that the ruleset and flowcharts were done in different times, but in reality I did them during one drunken weekend with /tg/ brainstorming around.

Here's the reverse-engineering thread:
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/21411713/

Kroft even stopped by in the foolz, but I couldn't catch him and make him spill the original rules.

As for the cards (and Lawrences excellent "verb the noun" idea), I'd like to think that there should be some kind of "example" list in the PDF. It's far easier to go around doing improvisation if there's some kind of examples to follow. That said, I was supposed to do new, better non-flowchart examples of the cards yesterday...

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>>28124634
>>28124323

Hey guys. Thanks for all the Time Wizard shit. Couldn't have played this excellent game without you all.

Art_Wizard, I put Episodes I and II onto Pastebin and put link to those Pastebins on the 1d4chan Time Wizard article. I will also put this beauty here on the article as well. Feel free to use it (and if you want the actual Excel file for easier use, I can easily email it to you).

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>>28124634
Hey, peoples, people, hey. Hey!
I've got an idea. I'm a drawfag, and I came up with it.
Guise... What if Time Wizards had a set of - wait for it - OFFICIAL cards? Not the yay/nope cards, since >>28124323
stated that every group should make their own, but the Change cards. included in the PDF so they can be printed out on some thicker paper and cut from a page.
Thoughts?
Pic related, I just started working on the "Carnivale" card artwork.

>>28124745
This is a really cool idea. Do you have any ideas for what the design would be?

>>28124773
Loose ideas for the artwork, for now. Some random shit and serpentines on "Carnivale", a weirdly dressed guy sitting backwards on a motorbike on the "Rewind", generic (yet tweaked, shit's supposed to be glam) angel-and-devil scene on "Inner voices". And the like.

>>28124824
Oh, I completely misread your post. I didn't realize that your pic was for one of the cards (my fault for not ever becoming familiar with the Change cards!). That looks awesome, dude.

And I'll stop namefagging now, since story time is over.

>>28124745
That's absolutely awesome. I'll just bite the bullet and start doing the cards text now. Need to reword some of them too.

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I'll be damned, I laughed my eyes off.

I'm truly impressed by how well you managed to get the idea behind that silly thing that is Time Wizards. I remember I pulled some notes the last time someone asked and I'll try to put them together in the next few days if anyone needs the original rules or you'd like to attach them to /tg/'s version, which is very good indeed.

/tg/ truly gets shit done.

>>28124857
>>28124891
Aww yeah, los magos are being expanded yet more. Bad news, though, is that I have a fuckton of things to do for a week or two, limiting my free time. I'll be slowly drawing the pics nonetheless. Expect them done in a month or more.

>>28124948
YOOOUUUUUUU!
Do it!
Seriously, at least one guy has been waiting for those notes for a long time. I wouldn't have used a weekend and a bottles of whiskey to compile reverse-engineered version if I wouldn't really want those rules.

>>28125083

Alright, alright. I'll do it. There's a big chunk of the rules I've already translated to english, so I'll try to upload a PDF later tonight.

I just don't want to spoil the work you've already done. Wouldn't seem fair.

>>28125131
Nah, man. It was a blast and more ideas would just be better. Improvisation and roleplaying is never hampered with more ideas.

If nothing is said then nothing happens and that's boring.

>>28125131
>I just don't want to spoil the work you've already done. Wouldn't seem fair.
Alternatively, your input could help improve the game. Think about that.

>>28125131
>>28125163
And, if a lot of those ideas are implemented, we could just make it a separate edition. Then we can have edition wars!

alternatively: we could just not do that and have two versions of the game

>>28125176
>Time Wizards Tequila Edition is the best!
>Fuck you! Time Wizards Baby-Punching Dildo Laser Revised is the best!!!

>>28125176

Well, the original rules were meant to be obtrusive, silly, and filled with exceptions, so maybe it would be easy to mix them up.

What still no time rogues? time warriors?

I'm starting a kickstarter for a series I'm starting "Traditional Game Tropes vs Not Wizards"

As a certified level 203 time-detective I feel under-represented.

Well, god damn. You know all those change cards, yes cards and no cards?

I originally took them from a game called Itras city and translated them to english.'

Now I checked again and itras city has been translated officially to english! All my work seems to be done without any need for me to work, these days!

Here's the official cards from Itras City (For some reason called Itras By in english too).

http://www.vagrantworkshop.com/files/itras_by_chance_cards.pdf

>>28125225
If you toss the notes up on the wiki discussion page, they can be added to the next revision as "the classic rules."

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This is why I come to /tg/

I love literally everyone in this thread.

I'm going to get my friends to play this ASAP.

>>28124948
YOU.
POST DEM RULES.
ALL OF EM

>>28124948
Oh, shit. Just came back to see how the thread was doing and I noticed that you had posted in here.

I'm not sure if you're referring to the rules, my playtests, or both... But thanks, man. Much appreciated.

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>This story
>This whole fucking thread

YES

YESSSSSSSS

Somebody already posted the best-thread-on-tg-right-now pic it seems, but this other pic is still related

>>28122727

Should be "El tiempo de los magos se ha acabado!" or "El tiempo de los magos ha acabado!"

Also waiting for Krofts' notes.

>>28127584
We made it up while already half-in-the-bag. And remember: it's in the spirit of the game to have the Spanish be shitty in translation!

>>28092145
>drinking PBR
Everything you said is made utterly irrelevant by this. You are guaranteed to be a tool and uninteresting person, because those are the only people who drink fucking PBR.

>>28127700
I don't know about OP, but I drink PBR for the same reason I always have, it's dirt cheap.

It was a beer before it was commandeered by terrible people

>>28124745

Fuck yeah, this is getting better and better.

I'm specially curious about "Meanwhile, in some other place!"

>>28127700
>hipsters have existed since 1844
Go fucking die in a fire, you fat bitch-whore.

>>28127700
Yeah, you're right. I'm a tool and uninteresting all because I chose to drink a certain kind of beer on a particular night. I understand that you're a troll, so I'm not going to take it to heart; though, I'm sure someone else will point out how childish you sound.

>>28127824

Knowing hipsters, they'd probably claim they were around long before that though.

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This thread. This motherfucking thread!

>>28125448
Just dropping by to just say that even if these cards are official for one game, it doesn't mean you people can't create more.

The more the better.

Some change cards my sleep deprived brain racked:

>Explosions!
Some things create a dramatic hissing sound and you notice that they're about to explode! Time is short, it's time to act!

>Interparty conflict
It was you all along! What did one of the characters do and against who, and how did the circumstances now reveal this?

>I'll be honest with you
Everyone in the scene have to speak the truth and do what they truly want. Bare out your soul for all to see.

Also, I've been thinking that rules as is make Time Wizarding "free of charge" so all problems will be confronted with "I declare a time moment!"

SO, I propose that after every time moment and time dilation you lose one die with all die refreshing either trough Game masters decision or at the start of a new session. This would force Time Wizards to think about the chaos they create and live with it. Normal non-time wizarding checks would be normal die rolling and/or yes/nope card taking.

You could also add a change card called

>Power boost
Every time wizard will gain additional 5d12 and 5d4! But only if they sacrifice something important to them to the vortex of times!

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Alright guys, sorry for taking so long. PDF attached.

Here are the translated and organized versions of the original rules we made up back in the early 2000's. I had to leave some stuff out because I think I'm missing some noted on Cosmic Imperatives and several of the fringe cases (like what to do when dice fall off the table or someone's wearing a ski mask), but all the essentials seem to be there.

I hope this can serve to complement what you guys already made.

>>28128508
Okay, example time!

Matt plays time wizard but doesn't want to use time-powers to influence a rich man to save his sister.

He draws from the Yes/nope pile and gets "Yes but... Something else somewhere else goes wrong!" and he decides that the Rich man will help his sister, but it turns out the sisters disease is spreading inside the hospital.

Imminent zombie apocalypse brewing.

>>28128565
MORE Time Wizardry.

Man, making reverse-engineering this based on stories and speculation and then seeing the real deal is a rare treat. Thank you.

>>28128565

Marvellous, now that we have retrieved our lost history, the creator's blessing, and the official cards in the making, TIME WIZARDS! has truly ascended.

>>28128565
Well shit, Kroft. Those rules are ten million times better than the ones I compiled. By all means, take the reigns of your beast back! Excellent work friend.

>>28128565
Read trough it! The reverse-engineering I did really can't stand to the randomness of your beast. I really want to make some kind of unholy abomination of this and the reverse-engineered version.

>>28129203
What program did you use to make the PDF of Time Wizards 1e? I'd like to compile something of a game based on both versions and ideas in this thread.

>>28129350
I just used microsoft word. The first edition was literally a barely-cobbled together mess of formatting, etc. The revised edition is much, much better. If you want I can send both .docx editions to you, just post something on the wiki page.

>>28129461
>Post something
Like what, just a discussion for the Time Wizards page?

>>28128689

I remember reading the reverse-engineer thread on Foolz. It was quite amazing and well-thought.

>>28129203
>>28129260

No, no, please. Time Wizards! is by now as much your monster as it is mine. If anything, I'm honoured by the care you've put into it. I can't take the credit for it, just present my version of the rules and see what can be brewed from the odd-smelling mixture.

>>28129556
Moreso I meant in the discussion page, post your email if you'd like them or whatever. It's a bit more discreet than on /tg/... but if you want to throw it out there too I guess that works.

>>28129586
>>28129461
>>28129350

Can't Google docs show docx files? Everyone could contribute.

>>28129578
Man you so humble. Then again, I suppose you never thought a game of drunken silliness with friends storytiem'd would yield a function PDF, a revision and mucho muchooooooo interesante.

>>28129578
Honored.

>>28129586
Here. It's not like I really mind whether or not my real name is associated with this game.

>>28128565
IT'S HAPPENING
IT'S HAPPENING

KROFT
Kroft, I love you.

>>28128565
Someone get this on the 1d4chan page.
We need to chronicle this glorious day.

>>28130260
There's been a bunch of happening around Time Wizards lately.

>>28130332
Done.

In the interests of being open sourced about this, I threw everything I have up on a Mediafire page. Please take it and do with it whatever you guys want to do:

http://www.mediafire.com/folder/c554o53loab3j/Time_Wizards

>>28129650
Google really, really fucks up the formatting on docx files. It would have been better if I had done it with something else, but the point wasn't to make it complicated, it was to get something comprehensible quickly.

I'm having trouble understanding the whole Slap phase of this. I know a person rolls out a certain number of dice and when they yell SLAP you try to slap them so you have something to roll for your time moment but where does one person get the dice to do this with?

>>28131167
In the TW1e you get them at the start. 5d12 and 5d4.

>>28131167
>where does one person get the dice to do this with?
A shop, I suppose.

>>28131296
So each person starts with 5d12 and 5d4 and use that to for the slap phase right?

>>28131930
Correct. Depending on the Chaos Rating given by the Time Master, you can throw a certain amount of dice (Rating = Amount of Dice Someone Can Throw). I also introduced a minimum bet, which was half of the Chaos Rating.

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>>28131982
Ahhh. Makes sense now. Thanks /tg/!

>>28132005
Anytime, friend. I'm not sure how it works in Kroft's version, as I'm not quite there yet on my read-through of his version.

My god, his version...

>>28132038
Yah I think the best bet to get something that is regularly playable would be an amalgamation of Ke and 1e

Kroft edition looks INSANE and I love it.

>>28132038
>>28133573

I think I'm going to throw together some bare bone rules, and just add to them as my group is forced to willingly play Time Wizards more and more often.

>>28133573
>>28133686
I'm compiling a beta-version of "Advanced Time Wizards!" in which I hope to smash Ke and 1e together into something right now. I don't know how many hours it takes, but I'll post the results to this thread once I'm done, then start sleeping and then see if anyone had anything to add to the beautiful monster.

>>28133573
Kroft edition is...beautiful.

So, time for Time Wizards 1.K?

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>>28133942
Oh yes, I am pumped for this.

Thank you /tg/ for making everything possible. This is why your my favorite board.

>>28134051
>dat pic

Oh fucking yes please

>"Kick the crab"
>"Fiddle the lock"
>"Hide the skooma"
>"Kill the elf"

>>28134051
CHIM wizards when

>>28136095
Just play Time Wizards in TES setting.
They pretty much can bend reality too.

>>28134051
Hey, I've already used one weekend and two whiskey bottles for this, what is one more day and half a bottle more, while having

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnX2CdOBcDI

on repeat?

>>28136324
Make sure to achieve the Ballmer peak.

>>28136324
Wait, what's this?

Beta version done. Please rip it apart, /tg/.

Change cards and yes/Nope cards will be compiled later.

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>>28136384
Captcha, how you torment me.

>>28136391
>Hat rules

Finally a chance to have someone else GM, I'll trick him into wearing my Sombrero then I'll wear something less significant, like a fez.

I'm not the Doctor, nor a Team Fortress character.

Kidding aside, haven't compared them with the other versions yet, but so far I can't complain about anything.

Well, maybe the
>Why you should play Time Wizards!?
section, but I guess it was meant as a joke.

>>28132038

As far as I can tell, in Kroft's version there is no rolling, you just give dice back to the TM to resolve things, which then makes things more complicated because if you give the TM d4s it makes slaps hurt a LOT more, whereas if you give him d12s slaps are less painful, but they also incentivise the TM for going all in on slaps as well.

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>>28136391
And here are the cards.

That's it for me this time. Hope there's someone who finds this relevant to their interests.

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Can we archive this or something? Is that still a thing?

>>28137532
It's on foolz and thisisnotatrueending.
The pdf is apparently on d4chan on mediafire.
What else do you want?

>>28137532
>Can we archive this or something?
Yes:
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/28092145
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28092145/

All the material should also be added to: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Time_Wizards (I only lurk on d4chan so I don't know the proper form I am afraid).

>Is that still a thing?
Technically yes (see links), but as for chanarchive.org it seems to be dead, Encyclopædia Dramatica (who took over management when the old management called it quits) had no explanation in their article on chanarchive.org for what is going on right now - at least not last time I checked about a month ago), not sure if anything is mentioned on the ED forums.

And ever since GirlyVinyl sold ED out to OhInternet the quality and quantity has been stagnating, though they are doing a valiant effort.

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>>28137186

Aye. In the original rules, rolling was only of consequence during bets, while during the Slap Phase it was only the amount of dice that mattered.

I like the Chaos Factor idea, though, and the Yes/Nope cards are a great addition.

As for the cover, it's fantastic. It's kind of like Baron of Münchhausen on hard drugs. Perfect.

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I love this thread, this system and the stories.

I am going to print all of this out, bind it together and present it to my rpg union. They are a bunch of nutters already, they will eat this up...

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An expansion set idea: Space Wizards!

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>>28137522
>>28136391
>>28136384
Made it into one PDF.

Here's the text document too, if anybody wants to make their own version.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/jzo9mn

>>28141453
>Not posting this on the 1d4chan page

Son, I was so proud of you.

And then yah blew it.

>>28142807
Had to go and get some sleep. Now, off to the wonderful world of wiki content posting.

>>28142807
Hypocrisy doesn't make you wrong, but it sure makes you look dumb.

>>28142807
>>28143132
And done. Wiki isn't so hard, it seems.

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>>28143332

>This thread
>It is still here

GLORIOUS. I looked at the PDF's...are they IRC-friendly? The Original Ruleset wouldn't be possible over internet, because there's no real way to duplicate the painful gamble of the slap-phase, but what about Revised/Advanced edition?

>MFW this game already has 3 editions

>>28143700
Rules for online play can be found under "Virtual tabletop" at the end of the rulesets.

>>28141453
What are the differences between it and
>>28128565

>>28143837

>roll a dice to determine slap count

Just this? Unfortunate. There should be a gamble of some kind, not just a chance roll.

>>28144038
It contains the latter, alongside the revised rules made by /tg/. So >>28141453 is >>28095723 plus >>28128565

>>28144076
If you come up with new and weirder ways to go at it, I'm all ears.

Seriously, if anyone has any ideas to throw around, just voice them.

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>>28144076
>>28144118

I remember hearing about a video game called "Lose/Lose".

In essence, every time you kill an enemy in the game, a random file is deleted.

Purely random file - could be an essay for English Lit class that you wrote five years ago - could be the something vital to the OS.

Maybe... something similar to this? Rolling to slap it generates a number and this number of files are then, moved? renamed? deleted?

I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but you said all idea should be thrown around.

Personally I suggest some sort of safeguard to prevent serious damage to be done, a system like this with no safe guard would be like having a serious SLAP phase using picture related.

Please don't fuck this up image-swapping glitch.

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>First edition finally gets made.
>Like two weeks later and we already have a revised edition, a Director's cut edition, an advanced edition, and origina art in the making

Fucking /tg/

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>>28144350

Too hardcore for the game's tone.

Maybe betting with files...Each player gets a number of images off a google search, and a number of images from the same with the SFW filter turned off.

To 'slap' a bet file, you have to open it. Pic related?

>>28144567
Wait, I'm understanding you right.
>Each player receives a number of SFW pictures equal to the amount of d12s they have.
>Each player receives a number of NSFW pictures equal to the amount of d4 they have.

So if a player has 6d12 he has six SFW picturs and if he has 3d4 he has three NSFG pictures.

When a player rolls, the roll is hidden although the result isn't and the player links to the same amount of pictures as they rolled.

Right?

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>>28144628

Yes. To 'slap' a picture, you have to click it, which opens it.

And then you have to look.

You can't look away.

>>28144651
I like this, but I think we need hardcore stuff, like everything on https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Offended except the four first pictures.

Or maybe include them so players know there is a rare chance of just seeing a fluffy animal that'll cheer them up?

>>28144651

Make sure it's some hardcore shit, and not any of the players' fetish to not give them an advantage.

>>28144697

>You know you want me

Jesus Christ, had to close it right there. That fucking haircut...

>>28144697
>https://encyclopediadramatica.es/Offended
I really don't think this is anywhere near comparable of pain that comes from just happily slapping a d4 causes.

This is far worse.

I wouldn't stomach playing a game where the mood is broken constantly with visual horror.

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>>28144628
>>28144567
>>28144350

I've got an idea!

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>>28144697

Eh...overkill. It was just an idea...now that I think about it, you shouldn't be trying to cause permanent damage.

>MFW 13 the jar

>>28144858

There are things we just can't do, man.

This can't be that hard. How do you generate the same pain/gain as the Slap phase over the internet?

>>28145143
An USB-controlled tazer wired to your nutsack?

Just realized there's no "What you need for Time Wizards!" section.

What does one need for Time Wizards!?

>>28145414
Time and Wizardry.

>>28145414
d4s and d12s

>>28145143

Can't into computer sorcery, but you could make a link to a very loud and high pitched sound maybe?

>>28145143
Make people decipher and enter painfully terrible captchas?

That loses the sense of speed/urgency, though.

>>28145522
Perhaps make this a 'race' to finish the captchas then, and you have to complete as many(or something) of dice. First ones to finish the painful captchas get the dice.

The rules, with it's numerous references to beards, both players' and wizards', seem to asume that both players and wizards are male.
How does it handle female Time Wizards?

>>28145779
I see no problem with female Time Wizards as long as they have beards.

>>28145779
It makes them roll d12 for privilege check.

>>28145779

[s]-4 strength[s] Time Witches.

>>28145779
Time Witches get d12s where Time Wizards get d4s, and d4s where Time Wizards get d12s.

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>>28146325

>can't into strikethrough

Damn.

>the original rules
I honestly never thought I'd see this day. God bless you, /tg/.