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The HOEV rumbles as the escape rockets burn, propelling the craft into low orbit. You glance around the cargo bay, filled to the brim with frightened Japanese scientists. A few of them are crying. They’ve been doing that for the entirety of your shift. Just silently sobbing into their compatriots shoulders. Shuddering slightly, you are startled by a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see Darius, helmet off, an inscrutable expression on his face. “Alright rookie, you’re off of the watch.”

You rise to your feet, grateful to be rid of the stifling environment. As you walk towards the cabin doors you take care to avoid stepping on any sullen white coats. The doors automatically recognize your Net-Ident and slide open with a hydraulic hiss. You step into the cabin, where you can see your fellow rookie and squad sniper Elda sitting on a padded accel bench, arms crossed and e-glasses on. Probably reading something. On the opposite side of the cabin Choi Lei lies across half of an accel bench, eyes shut and head phones in. You take a seat on the same bench as Elda, although you’re careful not to sit too close to her. Doesn’t matter though, the woman turns at the sound of the bench’s padding compressing, and “tsk”s softly before returning to her reading.

Whatever. You dig around in the locker behind your seat on the bench, and turn around out of it with a collection of media. Resting your own e-glasses on the bridge of your nose, you open your media files, trying to determine what to watch/read.

>Well what do you choose?
>Movie
>Book
>Vidya
>>>Specify which genre
>Write in

>>29734811
>Book
Black Library novels.

>>29734811
>Vidya

Minecraft. The pre-8.1 vintage version, with full Dwarf Fortress integration.

Indulge in autism. Practice tech skills. Kill elves.

Been waiting since you tweeted the "at 19:00", which was at 20:00 on my clock

>>29734811
>>Book

>>29734811
>movie
a calm nature documentary

>>29734846
Lol second. Little Ivan always wanted to br a Space Marine.

>vidya
>slavepunk FPRPG

Once bethesda got bought, they started to do some good shit again

Rolled 88

>>29734811
>Vidya
Boot Final Fantasy 27 for good old fun.

>>29734811
>Book
>101 ways to kill a man with a Tomahawk.

>>29735041
naaah, too work-oriented.101 ways to use a tomahawk as a tool would be nicer,more useful, and cooler

>>29734811
>Book
A Treatise of Human Nature

>>29735073
I support this.
>working for psychology perk

>>29735073
Why not go a step further?
A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge.

>>29734811
>>29735073
>>29735102
>>29735136


Now that's what I'm talking abut.
This.

>movies
>the gamers 5

these guys are lulzy.Wish the first 3 parts weren't lost to the ravages of neoviruses,though

>>29735136
>>29735102
>>29735073
>>29735041
>>29735026
>>29734959
>>29734958
>>29734956
>>29734939
>>29734908
>>29734846

Alright, seems like a book of some flavor has won out. Writing.

>>29735073
>>29735102
>>29735136
>>29735154
God damn it /lit/. I can't wait for the MC to start spouting pseudo-intellectual shit.

Rolled 99

>>29735227
Or dirty limericks

>>29735227
naaah, it's just for the contrast. Ivan is clearly an adept of duke nukem and the doomguy.

>>29735227
The good thing about Berkeleys work is that even a summery of it can have some practical levels of [un]common sense. And, well... we spit in our helmet on our first mission.

>>29735239

Let him learn how to haiku from one of the scientist.

Please Fall Guy? Please?

>>29735303
We'll get to it when they get integrated into the equipment division. Trying to think of a snazzy name for a corporate R&D department...

>>29735326
Remember, we picked the excited funny commando, not some veteran cybersamurai

as for the spoiler(how do you do that) how about the Donglers?

>>29735326

Research and Development is what you're looking for. Corporate names tend to be pretty bland. Sometimes you can get an exciting one, like anything with "Special Projects" or "Strategy" in the title, but usually they are mundane and neutral.

>>29735383
[tilde]Replace tilde with the word spoiler, spoilered text goes inside.[/tilde]

Or highlight a sentence and press ctrl+s.

>>29735383

You seem to be implying that Ivan wouldn't cum himself over a beam katana.

Or a beam anything really.

>>29735453
A beam tomahawk, sure, but Ivan ain't a sword man

>>29735453
my bad. For a moment it looked like someone wanted Ivan to start spouting haiku as he kills guys in self-defence with iaido-style swordmanship
(TL;DR:weeaboo)

>>29735453
Lightsaber Axe? Railgun/Axe combo? Bladed Railgun? Railgun Pistol with strapped on Beam Axe Blade? Shit's crazy yo.

>>29735472
>all our stats are 0-2

We could be a steam-powered kick-boxer if we feel like it.

>>29735503
Hah! That would be ridiculous. We'll spout Norse musings as we kill guys in full-offense dual-seismic axe axemanship.
(TL;DR: Viking Knight Techie)

>>29735520
>>all our stats are 0-2
just means we can train up using ARs and make a really fucking awesome pointman

Welp, reading makes the mind grow after all, doesn’t it? You bring up your personal media archives and are scroll through the voluminous collection of books, movies and vidya. For a moment you consider powering up the ol’ Play System 15 emulator and enjoying some Final Fantasy 27 from your youth. God, even today you still think those fourth dimensional haircuts are pretty nifty. Although you could’ve done without all of the eight year old confusion upon finding out the main villain was in fact a dude. Suppose that’s why they call ‘em traps.

However, the plight of the Kagokushi scientists has put you in a somber mood, and you scroll past the game, instead settling on a multiple megabyte treatise on the Human Condition, The Human Root Kernel by Professor Sidmar Freun. You start on Chapter one, the same chapter you’ve been reading for the past three weeks. It often takes several go overs to properly understand the good doctor. Apparently he belonged to the Post Modern school of Psychology.
>The pre-post-Patriarchical paradigm of intercourse, interactions, and interrelations present in the 21st century between mother and child, woman and offspring, matron and dependent, created a narrative of increasing distance between these two actors. The presence of “rubber nipples” on nursing bottles only reinforces the Gottliebist dialectic of interfamilial connections playing a keystone role in the formation of a sexual identity, especially during such hectic times for the longstanding Binary Gender Paradigm. The lack of a reliable maternal power relation for the son, who lacked the grounding influence of femininity, resulted in a preponderance of artificial replacements for feminine contact in the 21st century. This was most often manifested as Waifus…”

Okay, what the fuck is a “Waifu”? Closing out of the postmodernist treatise with an exasperated sigh, you look around the cabin once more. Somehow you doubt rubber nipples had anything at all to do with sexual development. As you scan the cabin, you accidentally make eye contact with Elda, who appears to have been watching you out of the corner of her eyes. The woman looks away from you, instead focusing on her e-glasses with vigorous squinting. Glancing away from your fellow rookie you briefly consider the comm-terminal to the pilot’s cockpit.

>What do you do?
>Bother Elda
>Contact the Pilots
>Write in

>>29735713
>Flirt with Elda

>>29735713
>Contact the Pilots
SKYDIVING TIME

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>>29735671
>This was most often manifested as Waifus…”
My eyes have been opened, I finally see!

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>>29735671
>>29735713
>that greentext
>my face

Let's contact the pilots. Get a destination ETA report.

>>29735713
>>Contact the Pilots

Rolled 38

>>29735713
Ask the japanese scientist what is a waifu and then flirt with Elda.

some light chat with elda(do not try to get in her pants, just chat)

>>29735713
>Contact the Pilots
Ask them how far out we are.

>>29735713

Contact the pilots!

>>29735713
>Bother Elda
Ask her about her kill count. She'll be nicer if we let her boast about shit.

>>29735713
We're specced for tech, right? Let's bother the pilots about the specifications of the HOEV. We might learn something we could use later.

>>29735794
this. Then chat with elda

>>29735713
>Contact the Pilots
"Are we there yet?"

>>29735811
>we'll do this at least twice every single return trip and outgoing mission trip
>our nickname becomes Ivan the Impatient
>pilots sigh whenever we get on their ship
>"Goddamnit Ivan..."

>>29735864
i can get behind this without the nickname

>>29735756
>>29735759
>>29735766
>>29735768
>>29735771
>>29735779
>>29735780
>>29735783
>>29735785
>>29735794
>>29735807
>>29735811

Seems like chatting to the pilot(s) has won out. Writing.

clicking refresh like there's no tomorrow

I can almost hear all of you holding your breath

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You decide that dealing with Elda’s bizarre complexes can wait for another day as you sidle up to the comm-terminal to the cockpit. You lean into it and ask “Hey, anyone home?”

There’s a moments pause before the Pilot’s comm-icon flashes up. “‘Sup Ivan? You wanna jaw for a moment?”

“Sure thing Dwight.”

The cockpit door slides open and you slide into the seat next to Dwight Schmidt, your esteemed pilot. The man has his baseball cap on as always, a worn and faded thing with a sports team logo you don’t recognize. “So, what’s happening in Ivan island?”

“Nothing much. Just trying to avoid Elda.”

“For some one who gets shot out of space ships for a living,” replies Dwight with an impish grin, “Last thing I’d think you’d be scared of is some pint sized princess from Earth.”

“Dwight, she made Niels CRY during basic. And not even like a single manly tear or anything. We’re talking a downpour here.”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I swear you rookies are the most pathetic bunch I’ve seen in years.”

“Enough of that,” you reply turning to face Dwight with a supplicative look, “C’mon, you promised.”

“Indeed I did. Here ya go kid.”

You can barely contain your excitement as Dwight transfers control of the HOEV to the co-pilot’s chair. “Any chance you’ll let me take this bird off some day?”

Dwight laughs out loud, smacking his knee. “Only if I’m bleeding out in the med bay rookie!” Suddenly his face turns serious. “Alright, so we’re going to be docking with the Tax Dodger soon. So you’re going to have to shift the thrusters to reverse and do a light, but slowly increasing burn. You think you can manage?”

>Well, can you manage?
>Best of the next Five (5) 3d10 rolls decide!

Rolled 2, 8, 1 = 11

>>29736272
PILOTSUN

Rolled 9, 1, 10 = 20

>>29736272
Hell yeah I can

Rolled 8, 1, 1 = 10

>>29736272

rolling for a roll on the ship

Rolled 3, 3, 1 = 7

>>29736272
LAND THIS BABY

Rolled 4, 5, 9 = 18

>>29736272

Rolled 4, 7, 2 = 13

>>29736272
So if he seriously dies we can have the ship?

Rolled 6, 1, 10 = 17

>>29736272
>>Best of the next Five (5) 3d10 rolls decide!
Can the ship manage us?

Rolled 9, 8, 9 = 26

>>29736272
ere we go

>>29736303
Best Roll: 20

Writing

Rolled 6, 10, 5 = 21

>>29736349
goddamnit, fucking capcha fucking fuck

we could have been an awesome pilot if not for capcha, but >>29736303 will have to do

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*our awesomeness unlocks the ship's true power*

>>29736272
Is it just me, or does the Pilot look like he should be the Pizza Delivery guy in some generic porno?

>>29736488
he's the pilot from the A-team, airite?

>>29736488
>Murdock
>Pizza Delivery guy in some generic porno

He'd probably take that as a compliment.

>>29736525
well, at heart that means he's got enough bang in his pants to use it as a business, so why not?

Dwight merely rolls his eyes and seizes onto an imaginary roll bar. Snorting, you shift the thrusters into reverse position. You watch the craft monitor anxiously as the thrusters glide into the reverse thrust position. Eventually, you are satisfied that they’re in the correct alignment, and you fire them. A touch too hard. The ship shudders slightly, but it takes you less than a second to modulate the burn down to reasonable levels. Although, judging from the thunk and outbreak of swearing from behind the cockpit doors you still managed to disrupt Choi Lei’s nap.

You smoothly decelerate the HOEV as you bring it closer to the Tax Dodger, one cruiser in StrikeOut’s fleet of a dozen and your ride out of this system. You make several small course corrections as you guide the HOEV towards the Tax Dodger’s docking bay. You can’t help but feel a surge of pride as Dwight nods with each correction you make. About four hundred kilometers out from the Tax Dodger a comm-icon appears in the HOEV’s windshield. You deflate somewhat as Dwight transfers control back to the pilot’s seat and opens the channel. “HOEV-3 this is the Tax Dodger, do you copy?”

“HOEV-3 reading you loud and clear Dodger,” Responds Dwight with uncharacteristic professionalism. “Requesting permission to dock.”

A moment’s pause as the two ships exchange security credentials.

“Very good HOEV-3, You are cleared to dock,” suddenly an elderly woman’s face appears on the comm channel, replacing the generic faceless icon from a moment earlier. “I see you let a friend into the cockpit, Dwight.”

Dwight grins slightly guiltily and gestures over to you. “Busted me, Miranda. This is Ivan. He’s that one rookie who has been bugging me about flying lessons.”

Miranda faces you, an indulgent smile spreading across her face. “Ahhh, always nice to see one of the Assets. How’d your first mission go?”

>Options Upcoming

>>29736738
>Well, how did it go?
>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]
>I mean, it was just a mission. Gonna do more in the future right? [Play it Cool]
>Mmmph [Grunt]
>It went well… It’s just… I feel a bit guilty about the Scientists [Regretful]
>Write In

>>29736775
>>Write In
>It went well, ma'am.

Always the professional.

>>29736775
>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]

Who the hell do you think we are?

>>29736775
>excitement
>why is it nice to talk to us?don't you see some or other asset daily?

Rolled 2, 9, 10 = 21

>>29736775
>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]

>>29736775
>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]

"I was like *shaa-zaam* and I chopped its knee joints with a tomahawk and it went down like a tree.

All in all a pretty good day."

If our hands weren't busy flying I'd suggest waving our hands around to emphasize things.

>>29736775
>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]

>>29736806
NO.
Never ruin their fantasy.

>>29736775

Everybody made it back in one piece, so I guess it went pretty well.

>>29736858
fantasy? if it's what I'm thinking...
>elderly woman
else, please explain, I didn't get it

Rolled 6, 4, 9 = 19

>>29736775
>>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]

Rolled 9, 5, 9 = 23

>>29736845
>If our hands weren't busy flying I'd suggest waving our hands around to emphasize things.
we ain't flying right now, Dwight took control to dock

>>29736775
>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]

>>29736905
Oh right, he did.

Then totally talk with our hands and use them to mime our the fight.

Well, Excitement seems to have won in a landslide. Writing

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>>29736845
>>29736916
So basically we're this guy now.

Rolled 7, 6, 6 = 19

>>29736738
>It went great! I meleed a BART solo! [Excitement]

>>29736948
woops forgot to turn off dice

>>29736942
more ash williams, less FF

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“It went great!” You exclaim, grinning. “I meleed a BART solo!”

Miranda’s matronly smile drops into an “O” of astonishment. “R-really now? That’s… That’s quite something.”

You nod vigorously as you describe how brought down the BART with your tomahawk, making all of the appropriate arm motions and hand gestures. Dwight has to duck a few of your more exuberant slashes. “I was all like “Krak KOW!” when I was hacking at the BART in the back! So yeah, I’d say it went pretty well,” you finish with a satisfied grin.

“Hahahaha, well they can’t fault you for lack of energy, that’s for sure,” replies Miranda as the HOEV lands in the Tax Dodger’s docking bay. Suddenly Darius’ face appears next to Miranda’s as he joins the group’s chat. “Hey Miranda. We’ve got twenty three Kagokusi scientists in addition to Doctor Tachibana to process and transport.”

“Oh my Darius, that’s quite the haul. I’ll get them into cryosleep right away.”

“Thanks,” replies Darius as his comm icon flashes off of the windshield’s HUD. Dwight turns to face you. “Alright rookie. It’s been fun, but you need to get into cryosleep and I need to do some maintenance before I join you. Now git!”

You exit the cabin as Dwight jokingly shoos you away to collect your gear. You find that Choi Lei has already left, while Elda lingered behind organizing her equipment in her duffle bag. You pass by her awkwardly and quickly assemble your dufflebag, albeit in a much more haphazard fashion than she. You are about to take your leave when Elda says, “Wait up. They’re still processing the Kagokushi personnel. You shouldn’t get in the crew’s way.”

>What say you?
>Nah, I’ll be fine. [leave and go to cryosleep]
>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
>>If [linger] is chosen, do you speak to Elda, and if so, what about?

>>29737213
>>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
>What were you reading?

>>29737213
>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
Ask if she likes poker.

>>29735671
Taking a Principles of Literary Criticism course in college here, and I wanted to say: you fucking nailed it. I would have gone with 'Butlerian' rather than 'Gottleibist', though.

>>29737213
>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
>>Flirt.
It totally isn't a bad idea. Good will come of this decision.

>>29737213
Ill second>>29737246

Rolled 9, 1, 7 = 17

>>29737213
>>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
Speak to Elda.
Start limericking

>>29737213
>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
>Ask her about what she was surfing on the ride back.

>>29737246
I'm unoriginal so I'll second this.

linger. we should know her

>>29737213
>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
Ask her what she thought of the mission.

Rolled 2, 9, 3 = 14

>>29737213
>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
>If [linger] is chosen, do you speak to Elda, and if so, what about?
Her thoughts on the OP and general small talk, lets try to get to know her

>>29737213
>[linger] and speak to Elda
She obviously wants to talk

>>29737213
>>Maybe I should wait. [linger until the crowd clears out]
chat with her, "ma nigga" style, forget her icequeen bitch attitude

seriously, don't romance her.....let her do that step

Alright, the Linger crowd won that one unanimously. Writing

>>29737246
Good enough for me and it at least gets the conversation going.

>>29737354
Ivan the Heartbreaker

I kinda hope we have a "Liberate tutame ex inferis" moment in this quest one day.

>>29737371
yay us!
also, fallguy, you're an excellent write[HOMOSEXUAL]

Rolled 3, 3, 9 = 15

>>29737354
nah, I'm holding out for an awesome open relationship with Valkyrie with loads of mindblowing casual sex

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>>29737354
>>29737500
Can we not talk about anything of the sort right now? It's only thread 2. Got a long quest ahead of us if nobody fucks anything up.

“Yeah, I think I’ll wait that out. Being around those scientists is a real downer.”

Elda merely purses her lips and nods.

A few seconds of silence pass.

You cough a little.

“So…” you both begin at the same time, catching yourselves on the first word. Elda raises her eyebrow archly. “You first,” she says.

“So, uh, what were you reading over there?”

“Oh, ah, nothing much, just a book.”

“Well I mean, I figured that out.”

Elda’s ears turn slightly red and she holds her e-glasses a bit closer. “It… it was just a personal finance text.”

“A personal finance text?” you inquire, non-plussed. “Sounds stupidly boring.”

“If by that you mean it would bore the stupid, then yes, I imagine so,” Elda shoots back.

“Hahahaha, you got me there Elda,” you respond with a laugh. “Seriously though, why read something like that?”

“Well, have you seen how much StrikeOut has us in debt?”

You shake your head, the rush of victory fading suddenly.

“Well, I haven’t yet either, they haven’t billed us yet. But it’s policy for merc groups to keep their junior employees pretty steeply in debt to them. I want to get out of that pit as fast as possible.”

Elda stops speaking for a moment and glances out of the cabin doors to the cargo bay. “Seems like the crew finished processing all of the Kagokushi personnel. I’m leaving for my cryo-berth,” Elda starts walking out of the HOEV before turning to you. “Coming? You know they don’t keep enough oxygen on here for us to spend all day just mucking about.”

>Well what do you do?
>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths
>Let her go on her own, go to yours alone
>Write in

>>29737562
I aggree, let the waifuing come later
even if this is the 3rd thread, it's still too soon, and we still have HIGH ADVENTURE before us

captcha:escape edembs
even if it's eden, I want this guy to be free

>>29737620
>>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths

>>29737620
invite her to some B3,maybe
there's got to be a bar on this ship, right?

>>29737620
>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths
No auto-waifulocking today people, just move along.

>>29737620
>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths

>>29737620
>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths

We may as well.

Chat some about the mission and talk shop about military hardware.

>>29737620
>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths

>>29737620
>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths

Rolled 3, 1, 7 = 11

>>29737620
>>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths
Talk about weapons.

>>29737620
>>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths
Ask her opinion about how the missions went?

>>29737620
>Look around before heading to cryo-berth
More knowledge > less knowledge

>>29737620
>>Walk and talk with Elda to your cryo-berths

Ask her for money making tips.

>>29737739
hell yeah, get us some sweet bonus to cash

>>29737739
Oh yeah, definitely talk money making tips

Alright, seems everyone wants to talk to Elda. Writing

Rolled 9, 2, 6 = 17

>>29737739
I hope she won't make us join a sect or get us into some pyramid scheme.

>>29737942
Now, at 3:32,alone in my home and having blood extratcion tomorrow, I genuinely loled from this

Good job anon

>>29737942
Nah, you only do that to people you'll never meet again. Unless she's going to kill us afterwards we're fine.

>>29737991
Hey, as rookies our lifespan isn't exactly very long.
And you never know what they make people sell in futuristic pyramid schemes. Could be really advanced tupperware or catgirls.

“Alright bosslady, I’m coming,” you respond as you jog a little to catch up. The two of you walk down the now deserted docking bay of the Tax Dodger, foot steps echoing in the cavernous room. The pair of you pause in front of the airlock doors and they hiss open, then you step into the gunmetal grey hallways of the Dodger.

“So…” you both begin at the same time again. Elda’s ears turn red again and you scratch the back of your head, chuckling slightly. “Here,” you say, “You go this time.”

“No that’s alright,” responds Elda, “You go first. Whatever you have to ask can’t take too long to answer.”

Unsure whether or not you’ve just been insulted you reply, “So, any good hints you picked up from that finance text? I’m not much fond of being deeply in debt myself.”

For a moment all Elda does in the way of response is hold her e-glasses slightly closer to her side. Then she answers “Oh, not much really. I only had time to start the first chapter. I thought transit would take a bit longer…”

“Hey! I’m only on the first chapter of my book too!”

“What is it? See Spot Run?”

“Haw Haw,” you laugh sarcastically. “So, what did you want to say?”

“Oh yes. I wanted to say something about the mission.”

“Yes, yes, I know, the way I took down that BART was incredible.”

“No, not that, deficiente. I was speaking to Darius while you were in the cockpit and he made a good point to me.”

“Which was?”

Elda inhales slightly before continuing. “I apologize for being so harsh on you during the mission. I was slightly stressed.”

You are somewhat taken aback. You figured her attitude on the mission was Elda’s default attitude. Certainly seemed that way when you all were going through basic.

>Options in next post

F5ing for barchat and pyramid futureschemes

>>29738234

>What do you say?
>That’s alright, first mission and all that. [Forgiving]
>Really? Were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week? [Teasing]
>It’s a high stress job. You need to control yourself. [Recriminating]
>Write In [Include Tone]

>>29738246
>Really? Were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week? [Teasing]

Really, we're the best.

>>29738246
>>Really? Were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week? [Teasing]

Jerk time.

>>29738234
>Really? Were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week? [Teasing]

>>29738246
>Really? Were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week? [Teasing]

>>29738246
>Really? Were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week? [Teasing]

>>29738246
>understanding
>It's normal for you to be so stressed if you don't socialize with the rest.This job needs some trust on the rest:if I didn't trust you to do that shot in front of the panic room, what could I do?melee both BARTs?

Am I the only nice guy here?

understanding. I like that one.

>>29738246
>That’s alright, first mission and all that. [Forgiving]

File: 1390531846624.jpg-(45 KB, 408x493, you people.jpg)

45 KB JPG

>all these simultaneous tease votes
yes

YEESSS

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>>29738319
yes

funniest thing is:I did vote for meleeing both BARTs

>>29738246
>>Really? Were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week? [Teasing]

A little banter between coworkers is good. Hopefully she doesn't punch us.

>>29738319
Who said teasing her meant we had to act like a jerk?

Worst comes to worst the two of us do some slapstick comedy.

>>29738394
I guess as long as you don't mention her dulce culo, everything will be fine

>>29738418
>>29738394
this

>>29738319
This.
Hey, we did a good job. I feel like teasing is appropriate all things considered. We're a proud rookie and we did good.

We'll change that attitude if we ever (hah!) get our ass kicked, but for now this feels really fitting.

>>29738446
>>29738418
initiating linking correction procedures

So, I wonder how deep we are in debts. How much does 25k credit represents? How many tupperware would we have to sell to remove that debt?

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oce again, we're Ash williams

>>29738597
That fucking deer.

>>29738582
We made, what, around 3,000 credits from looting wallets? So 77k isn't that much, unless we were abducting rich scientists.

>rich
>scientists

Er, yeah, 77k aint much.

77k just us. we split the 3k four ways.

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“Really?” You say in mock confusion, “so, were you slightly stressed during all of Basic too? And for that matter, during lunch last week?”

Elda stomps her foot angrily at your jab. “Well, excuse me for wanting to apologize. I certainly won’t make that mistake again.”

You reach out and snag your fellow rookie’s arm before she can storm off too far. Elda turns to face you, her face suffused with pique. “Hey, hey. I was only giving you shit. It’s what comrades in arms do, right?”

Elda seems slightly taken aback by your words. “Comrades in arms?”

“Yeah! I think we can call each other that. After all I trusted you to take out that one BART in the panic room, right? That’s trust right there.”

Elda shakes her arm out of your grip and you allow your hand to fall to your side. She eyes you, her expression unreadable. “Hm. I suppose that is true. You did put your faith in me.”

“Exactly,” you say as you both start back down the corridor, which now sports several viewing ports from which you can look out into space. “So don’t be surprised if I give you a little shit, alright?”

“I won’t be surprised. However, that does not mean I appreciate it.”

You roll your eyes internally as Elda walks off ahead of you. She might as well carry around a sign that says “NO FUN”. What a killjoy.

The two of you walk together in silence until you reach the cryo-bay. You see that Darius and Choi Lei are already under, and you strip off your remaining armor until you’re down to your skin tight enviro-suit. You store your duffle bag away before climbing into the cryo-berth. As the berth hatch slides shut gas floods the chamber. Your vision fades to black.

79657 c, after calculations from the character sheet.

>>29738728
Try to not fart in the cryo-berth

izzat it?

>>29738784
i chuckled

>>29738728
she'll warm out to the squad, Darius and Choi are jokers too

>>29738784

Cal, now MY tube smells like popcorn...

fallguy, are you there?

You wake up, nauseous and very disoriented. A normal stay in the cryo-berth then. There’s only two reasons why they’d rouse you from sleep, and the distinct lack of intruder alarms leads you to conclude that the Tax Dodger is about to dock with the station. Built in a hollowed out asteroid in a lonely orbit in the Hyperion System, you think that the space station is technically known as Hyperion Lambda Teal 1334 or something along those lines. However, most people residing on the station just call it “The Brick”. This is probably due to the reddish tint of the asteroid.

You lift yourself out of your cryo-berth with trembling arms. Stasis always messes you up something fierce, but it should pass. Glancing around the cryo-bay you see your fellow squad mates have already clambered out of their cryo-berths and are getting changed into their civvie clothes. You grunt, successfully suppressing the urge to vomit, before pulling jeans and a t-shirt on over your enviro-suit. You’ll wait until you’ve gotten to your suite in the Brick before you try worming your way out of that thing. Cracking your back as you stretch, you reach down and snatch up your duffle bag with one hand. Flinging the heavy pack over your shoulder, you take your leave of the cryo-bay, following your squadmates out of the ship.

You’re standing at the airlock between the Tax Dodger and the Brick, waiting for security to finish running their scans for any possible diseases or other nastiness when a comm-icon appears in the corner of your e-glasses.

It’s a name you barely recognize. Svenja Weiss, your personal representative in the HR department. You haven’t yet spoken to her, but then again, she hasn’t yet tried to directly contact you either. Curious, you open the channel.

A soft voice speaks over the link. “Hello? Is this Ivan Kostov?”

>Options upcoming

>>29739077

>How do you greet the HR lady?
>Yo, sup Svenjizzle? [Informally]
>Speaking. [Tersely]
>Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan. [Politely]

>>29739077
>Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan. [Politely]
This seems oddly ominous. We'd better be nice.

Rolled 4, 2, 2 = 8

>>29739077
>Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan. [Politely]

>>29739101
>>Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan. [Politely]
No reason to risk offending someone that we'll both probably be dealing with repeatedly and can make things difficult.

>>29739101
>[Politely]
Never hurts to have the people representing you not want to screw you over for being. Jerk.

>>29739101
>Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan. [Politely]

>>29739077
>Yo, sup Svenjizzle? [Informally]
but get the name right

>>29739077
>Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan. [Politely]

In our sexiest "I've just woke up 2 minutes ago" voice.

>>29739077
>politely
HR is serious business, also ominous and dangerous

>>29739101
>>Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan. [Politely]

Calling voting here, since Politely has won by a landslide. Writing.

>>29739164
Oh come on, whats the worst that could happen?

For christ sake our job was to kidnap people, I don't think HR will annoy us for not checking our privileges around our female comrades.

>>29739425
getting a huge debt due to harassment fine?getting "taken care of"? we don't know anything about the HR lady, she might be big game inside the company

>>29739425
If people fuck with us, they are who we go to for help. They also sign our paychecks. Its best never to piss off HR, they can make your life hell

>>29739425
>Our job is to kidnap and killing people
>what's wrong with antagonizing the person responsible for our job security
You want to find out what our company's termination policy is for rookies?

>>29739425
Dude, fucking with the HR workers in any business that you work in is like saying "no" to the CDC during an inquiry.

Complete career suicide.

“Hello, Ms. Weiss. This is Ivan,” you say as you step out of the airlock and onto the Brick. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to you.”

“Oh! Yes, well, I’m not sure how much of a pleasure it is… haha.”

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure.”

“Ah! Right, sorry!” You don’t have video link with Ms. Weiss yet, so you’re some what intrigued by the thud that comes over from her end. “Oh drat! I’m sorry Mr. Kostov. I’m calling because we need to discuss some things in my office, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Rumors of the dreaded HR department rush back to you. “...What sort of things?”

“Oh, nothing bad at all! Just some housekeeping and introductions.”

“Ah alright.”

“Really, no reason to worry! I’ll send you my coordinates right now.”

The comm channel closes and a navigation box appears in the corner of your e-glasses. You click the icon, and a blue line is superimposed upon your vision. You suppose it leads to Ms. Weiss’ office. You’re about to walk there when Ms. Weiss’ comm-icon reappears. You open it to flood of apologies.

“I’m so so so sorry Mr. Kostov. I forgot to tell you that I have your mission report and earnings with me too! Please, forgive me for being so scattered!”

The link closes once more. Jesus, what sort of mind games is this lady playing?

You start to follow the blue line of your navigation program as you walk deeper into the Brick, towards the dreaded HR offices. You can’t help but feel a sense of trepidation as you walk towards the HR department. Lord, you thought that you’d get to unwind a bit before being tossed back into the fire. Breifly, you wonder if you've done something to earn the wrath of Internal Affairs. Sure, officially there is no Internal Affairs department in StrikeOut. But you can’t help but feel a chill of fear regardless.

A few more minutes of walking and the blue nav line ends in front of a closed door. This must be it. Inhaling deeply, you knock three times.

There’s a loud eep! on the other side of the door, and several thuds, and a cracking sound. Your adrenaline kicks in as you push open the door to reveal a small blonde woman sitting on the ground, several large files scattered around her and a broken coffee mug at her feet.

>How do you respond?

>>29739560
Help her pick her stuff up, obviously.

>>29739560
Help her pick the stuff up. Chivalry and such.

>>29739560
>>How do you respond?
Are you alright? You look a little down.

>>29739560
Help her up.
Ask if this is a frequent occurrence.

>>29739560
>Help her to her feet.
>Help her pick up her stuff.

>>29739560

Greet her and then help her pick up her things.What are we barbarians?

>>29739560
Ask if she's okay & help her pick up.

Priority to any sharp bits of mug.

>>29739560
Offer to help, and then help. It's the cow orkly thing to do.

Also she technically outranks us by a very incredible margin, keep that in mind.

>>29739560
clearly, we help her.Ultra proffesional-style.Not even physical-contact-that-might-be-considered-flirting, but we help her on her foot and gather the papers. We are, after all , ellegan/tg/entlemen

>>29739560
this>>29739645

put our penis is in her face, and say of she gets tired of HR, you have a position in mind. then slap her on the ass and say you want a sammich.

>>29739560
>stay slightly on guard because something seems fishy about this level of physical incompetence
>help her require her documents etc. And help her to her feet.

>>29739685
Oh come on, this is gross misconduct.

You have to buy her dinner first.

>>29739693
it's either a trap, as you say, or fallguy offering us a moe clumsy waifuwhich we will take given the time.Let her make first move

>>29739713

I haven't pulled her hair yet. I WILL say, however, that I like her like I like my whisky: well aged and all mixed up with coke.

>>29739763
women mixed with coca-cola....interesting...
I heard hot coke tastes like crap,though

>>29739749
Litteral or figurative trap?

>>29739560
Ask if she is okay, help her up.

>>29739763
>Mixing whiskey with cock.
Pleb tier taste.

>>29739792

or...you could take coke as slang for cocaine?

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>>29739833

>>29739833
Freudian slip?

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>>29739833
>>Mixing whiskey with cock.
>cock

>>29739804
I meant literal, fallguy doesn't seem like a guy into "traps"

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>>29739857
>>29739869
>>29739882
I meant coke. Really.

You walk forward and take both of the large files you presume she was carrying off of the ground. Transferring them to one arm, you use your spare to help her to her feet. “You alright? You looked a little down when I came in.”

Ms. Weiss pauses for a second, looking up at you, mouth working silently. Then she breaks out in nervous laughter as she walks back behind her desk. “Hahahaha… yes a little down…”

You take a seat in the chair in front of her. You can’t help but notice it’s set up so that you have to look up at her. Quite the opposite from when you were both standing. You look around before nervously attempting another joke. “So… uh… you do that often?”

Oh God, what were you thinking!? This is H fucking R. You do not joke around with HR. Oh Lord, you’re too young to die. Fucking hell, this makes going hand to hand with a BART in the middle of a crossfire seem like… seem like… something that isn’t horribly dangerous!

You’re so busy panicking that you fail to notice the stream of apologies your joke elicits from Ms. Weiss. “-rribly terribly sorry. I promise I’m normally much better organized.”

As the pair of you eye each other fearfully from across the desk, you remember something your father told during a trip to the zoo in your youth. Something about snakes…

>Well what did your father say to you?
>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]
>”Remember son, snakes will poison you and swallow you whole with their unhinging jaws assuming they just don’t crush you to death in their long scaly coils first!” [Be fearful and cautious]

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>>29739930
pic related

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>>29739930
Yeah right

>>29739951
>>”Remember son, snakes will poison you and swallow you whole with their unhinging jaws assuming they just don’t crush you to death in their long scaly coils first!” [Be fearful and cautious]

Sounds like an awesome father.

>>29739951
>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

>more friendly approach.

I want the person in charge of my health plan liking me.

>>29739951
>>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

As much as I love that fear line being terrified isn't going to help us or win us any brownie points.

>>29739951
>be friendly.But not our usual friendly, cautious friendly.Do not cross the limits.Basically, be friendly elda

>>29739951
>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]
That other option though. Oh jesus. My sides are gone.

>>29739951
>>”Remember son, snakes will poison you and swallow you whole with their unhinging jaws assuming they just don’t crush you to death in their long scaly coils first!” [Be fearful and cautious]
Lets use the kawaii~~ approach

>>29739951
>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

No fear, we faced down a BART, we can do this. Try to extend the olive branch, be friendly, and if things go wrong we can always try running.

>>29739951
>Be friendly

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>>29739951
>"Remember son, snakes will bite you for shits and giggles. Run the fuck away!" [Run the fuck away]

>>29739951
>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

That fear line is wonderful, but we could really benefit from being friends with our HR contact. A good word from someone in HR can mean a hell of a lot, especially if you screw up

>>29739951
>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

>>29739962
I find it amusing that Exabyte's picture is being used as a reaction image.

>>29739951
>>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

Oh yeah. He are awesome and our Dad was too.

>>29740000
>be friendly elda
Oh God, can we?

>>29739951
>>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

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>>29740044
How can you tell that's Exabutt?

>>29740064

Nope. Even in 22XX, drugs aren't THAT strong.

>>29740074
I've seen the picture.

Rolled 10, 7, 1 = 18

>>29739951
>>”Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them!” [Try a more friendly approach]

Seems like your father taught you what all non-methhead parents teach their children about snakes. Writing

>>29739951
Voting for [Try more friendly approach] but I have to say I spent a solid ten seconds laughing at [Be fearful and cautious]. Well played OP.

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>>29740131
Should have taught us about how to cook with snakes.

I am sure snake meat is better than that soylet purple they serve at the cafeteria.

>>29740164
Snake meat is okay. It's real tough and chewy, a little gamy. Doesn't really taste like anything else either. Makes great jerky though.

>>29740195
Interesting.
I have to try that before I die.
Or die trying.

Across the distant gulf of time you can still hear your father’s words as he carried you out of the reptile house on his shoulders. “Remember son, snakes are more scared of you than you are of them! But that doesn’t mean they can’t bite you after their head’s been cut off!” You decide to take the first part of that statement to heart, the second half… not so much. You look across the desk at your HR representative in a new light.

“You, you’re as scared of me as I am of you, aren’t you?”

Ms. Weiss stops trying to cower behind one of her massive files, gingerly poking her head out into the open. “Y-You’re scared of me?”

“I mean of course I am! You’re HR!”

Ms. Weiss squeeks slightly. “I-I just push papers around! You make a living getting shot out of a spaceship and killing people!”

“...That’s… That’s fair, yeah,” you say, deflating slightly into your chair.

Ms. Weiss moves fully out into the open, a nervous smile on her face. “Oh, I can’t believe this. This is too much.” She starts to laugh, genuinely this time, into her hand. “To think that the giant merc is scared of ME! Ahahahahahahhaha!”

You rub the back of your head once more, grinning stupidly. “Well be fair, you ARE in HR.”

At that Ms. Weiss leans towards you from across her desk. “Is HR really that scary? I’ll be honest, this is my first actual HR assignment.”

“Hey, so you’re a rookie too Ms. Weiss?”

“Well yes,” responds Ms. Weiss, smiling slightly, “And there’s no need to call me Ms. Weiss, Mr. Kostov. I’m your personal HR contact, I think something less formal would work well, don’t you?”

“If that’s the case you can call me Ivan, Ms- Svenja.”

“Oh. Alright, if you say so Ivan.”

Happy to be on less mutually terrified footing with your HR contact you decide to break some more ice with her. “So, what exactly does your job entail? Not trying to be rude! It’s just… well mine is pretty obvious, you know?”

“Well I ah… my job is basically to be your manager I suppose? I give you your earnings from the mission, find mission listings you would be suited for, keep track of your mental health, negotiate insurance pay, help you with your finances… everything really.”

“Does that make you my boss?”

“N-no! Not at all really. More like a personal adviser.”

>Well, what do you want to talk about with your personal adviser?
>Hey, how about that mission pay?
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?
>Write in

>>29740623
Yay! we get to learn to be professionals together!

>>29740659
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?
Heres hoping we got the BONUS!

>>29740659
>>Hey, how about that mission pay?

>>29740659

>>Hey, how about that mission pay?
>>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?

Both, in that order

>>29740659
>both options
>give her the chip(do we have it in ourselves, gave it already, or what?)

>>29740659
>Mission pay
>Inquire about the bonus for bringing in all those extra scientists

>>29740659
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?

We mauled a BART, did like two separate ambushes and recovered 22 extra scientist plus an experimental program. This is on lock.

Rolled 6, 1, 5 = 12

>>29740659
>Hey, how about that mission pay?
followed by
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?

>>29740659
>write in

How about company discounted/sponsored (free to us) training and cyberware? and more guns. and tuition reimbursement. And a 401k.

Were we the only rookie to take a hit that needed medical attention?

>>29740753
>401k.

Who in their right mind wold ask for a 401k?
It's a shitty plan that companies who don't actually want to dole out money push on their employees.

Guys! WE FORGOT ABOUT THE BIOCHIP WE GOT FROM THE SCIENTIST COUPLE!!!

>>29740807
We should definitely talk to her about that in a bit. But definitely dont mention we let people go for it.

>>29740659
>Hey, how about that mission pay?
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?

Both sounds good to me.
>>29740730
Also mention if there is a bonus on the scientists.

>>29740659
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?

DETAILS

>>29740659
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?
>Hey, how about that mission pay?

>>29740891
In b4 Elda.

>>29740659
>Hey, how about that mission pay?
>Do you know which rookie got the best performance report?
And, "I picked up this prototype genemod on the mission. What would you recommend I do with it?"

>>29740659
>"So...what exactly is the interest rate on my company loans?"

Fair warning guys, I should've prewritten the performance report, but I forgot to. Update will take a little bit longer than anticipated.

>>29741042
Happens. Do what'cha gotta do OP.

>>29741042
Its cool OP. Your writing is worth the wait

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>>29741042
totally worth it

>>29741042
{AFRICAN AMERICAN} You should have.

>>29741042
Waiting warmly for it to arrive.

main problem with this quest is that I have a blood sampling in 3-4 hours and can't eat anything, but am really [ACT OF INTERCOURSE] hungry

>>29741330
Must've been difficult when we got to the part about the snake jerky.

>>29741330
>blood sampling in 3-4 hours
Christ, what time is it where you are?

>>29741391
Western europe or middle of the ocean, most likely.

“So you’re the one who doles out pay?”

Svenja nods vigorously. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, the gasps and places a hand over her mouth. “Oh my! Yes of course, here’s your earnings. I’ll transfer them to your account right away.”

You watch in the corner of your e-glasses as the number in your checking account shoots up from 7,843 to 18,043. “So that’s…” Svenja pauses as she considers a readout in her e-glasses, “The stated 8,000 credit mission commission plus 2,200 extra credits for the acquired scientists for a total of 10,200 credits! Oh my, if only I earned that much for one day of work…”

“To be fair, I’m also about 80,000 credits in debt to StrikeOut.”

“Eight-eighty thousand!?”

“Yeah,” you confirm, nodding grimly.

“That’s… that’s a lot of credits…”

“I know. And I figure that I’ll be out of debt much faster if I’m the rookie how got bumped up a pay grade. Do you know which one got the best performance reivew.”

“Ah, yes I do. Let me send you yours first.”

A second later, a link appears in the corner of your e-glasses.

http://pastebin.com/15Nvdpbc

You click it.

>Anything you want to correct on that report?

>>29741428
Ask Svenja if some sweet, sweet top-secret data would bump our grade up a little bit. Cause we totally have some.

>>29741428
>>Anything you want to correct on that report?
To be fair, we let them go for upgrades.

>>29741330
DAQ: namefags blogging about their problems.

>>29741428
We got top secret data in exchange for the scientist, who were married and had kids at home.

>>29741428

>fixed my goddamn gun

that line just made my night for some reason. Especially since that guys voice is Stringer Bell in my head.

>>29741428
>Fixed my goddamn gun
Fucking Darius

Ask her if acquired software will upgrade your rating. If yes tell her about the Gene-mod chip and have her add it to the performance review.

>>29741428
crap, Dar told them!
might as well tell them about the damn chip

>>29741428
>>Anything you want to correct on that report?

hmm
>Displayed shocking lack of self preservation in process by entering a cross fire
how about tactically sound maneuvering under covering fire and over-watch to flank opposition and render them neutralized

>Allowed two Kagokushi Scientists to go free at the extraction point
a worth while trade for advanced technology not recovered in the raid, and the free'd scientists notes and research to utilise and continue development of said advanced tech

>>29741428
>Objective Completion: B-

Didn't we complete all objectives successfully? Except for the thing about letting the scientists go... seems better than a B-.

We should contact Darius and remind him that we fixed his goddamn gun and that it isn't reflected on his crapass report card.

>>29741428
>http://pastebin.com/15Nvdpbc
Let those scientists go in exchange for data on a prototype genemod.

>>29741428

Totally mention that sweet data we got.
>>29741475
>>29741502
>>29741507

>>29741502
Oh yeah, just to be more precise, we left those two married scientists back there because they probably wouldn't have been a very good asset for us. Kidnapping them, eaving their kid alone, would probably have made them unwilling to work for us.

>the chip
I'd say that's more likely to get us a flat credit bonus than improve the rating we got. He & his coworkers would, after all, be somewhat likely to reproduce it.

So what approach do we want to take on the Scientists issue?

Do we:

>Reveal they gave us a gene mod?
or
>Ask if the report specified anywhere why we let them go?

>>29741650
>>Ask if the report specified anywhere why we let them go?
I think this might be a better approach

>>29741650
>Ask if the report specified anywhere why we let them go?

>>29741650
First
>Ask if the report specified anywhere why we let them go?
If she says no then.
>Reveal they gave us a gene mod?

>>29741650
can we make a copy of the chip? that way if they do know we can give them one and have one for ourself

>>29741650
>>Ask if the report specified anywhere why we let them go?

Still think we should throw in the gene mod as an 'Oh yeah, this might be useful.'

>>29741650
>Ask if the report specified anywhere why we let them go?

Darius apparently thought it prudent not to inform them.

>>29741650
>>Ask if the report specified anywhere why we let them go?

Discretion is the better part of valor.

>>29741691
this

>withholding information you acquired during a mission from your employers

Doesn't that sound a bit... not rookie of the year?

>>29741650
seconding >>29741691

>>29741764
On the other hand, if we tell them they may take it away.