>>33303952
Kill yourself.

>>33303981
This. It is the only way to preserve your honor.

>>33303981
>>33303998
As much you loathe yourself right about now, suicide is a capital offense in the CCCP. You wouldn't want that on your permanent record.

>>33304005
Kill yourself in a lathe so it looks like an accident.

look for tie to hang yourself with

>>33304005
Fucking permanent records. Okay, let's try and find our tie. Think of where we last left it.

>>33304034
Look, do you really want that on our permanent record if we mess up? It's permanent for a reason. That means forever.

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>>33304069
Damn straight.

>>33304034
>>33304035
You don't have a lathe, but you do have a desk. It's not nearly as dangerous, but it could hold your tie. Maybe you should've spent more time looking than panicking earlier.

look through your desk for a way to cheat the system

>>33304093
>Not having a lathe
You're really shitty at being a communist. How are the proletariat supposed to own the means of production if you don't even have a lathe?

I'm putting this transgression on your permanent record.

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>>33304157
Even your own mind is calling you out on your bullshit. In fact, it's calling you a communist. The exact opposite of what you can stand for in this strange strange nation.

>>33304150
Under self-threat, you rifle through the desk. You find a crumpled propaganda flyer and a sandwich.

>>33304215
How long has that sandwich been there?

Check the pockets of your suit. Maybe you put your tie somewhere and forgot.

>>33304215
>choke on sandwich

>>33304215
Eat the sandwich and our sadness. Then search everywhere in the room for the tie. Even behind the desk.

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>>33304239
>>33304244
As you choke down the Sadness Sandwich, you realize that you're naked and eating an old sandwich. You swear that one of your daycare workers said you would turn out this way.

reminisce in your shit childhood, with your shit sandwhich

>>33304311
Right. Let's start from step one.

Put on pants.

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>>33304346
>>33304371
You put on some pants and think.

What's there to remember? There were cold showers, cold food, cold beds, and cold corporate recruiters kidnapping the "gifted" kids.

You were never picked by a corporation and failed to honor your school. For this, you were kicked out. You now hold a job as a desk jockey.

But today was your chance to shine in an emergency meeting. If you had a tie.

>>33304371
Then take off the belt, use to perform erotic self-strangulation, accidentally kill self.

>>33304438
Have you got the rest of your suit?

If so, read the propaganda flyer and then fold it into a tie. You'll be fully dressed, and impress them with your loyalty at the same time!

>>33304449
the belt around your neck should be a good enough tie when they find your corpse

>>33304484
Brilliant! Promotions all around.

>>33304438
Fuck it. We'll MAKE A tie. Gather up all loose materials you can find, and put them in a tie like shape.

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>>33304449
You don't wear a belt. You're cool like that.

>>33304479
You walk towards the paper, which is wafting in the AC's breeze.

>>33304500
Not just any materials.
The propaganda poster.

You will have the most patriotic tie this side of [large landmark]

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>>33304535
You get slightly giddy at the idea of impressing your fellow countrymen.

>>33304524
"The CCCP welcomes all fellow capitalists to join in the struggle for the rights of freedom!"

There’s a drawing of a dollar sign encased in a circle. A single hand holds tightly on the bottom of the circle. Under that read:

"Warning: Failure to remember the righteous full name of the CCCP will be fined.
Forever prosperous, our great nation."

To be perfectly honest, you were never one to care for politics or economics. Everyone was more than a little mean, as far as you could tell by the news. You do try your hardest to remember what your own nation’s acronyms stood for, though.

examine propaganda, then salute to it for a few minutes

>>33304546
Wait. Wait wait wait.

What does CCCP Stand for?

>>33304546
Give yourself a huge papercut with propaganda. Give your life in a satanic ritual in which you bleed out. For the moneyland!

Satan will be summoned to take your place at the meeting and he is well known as the best in the business at business.

>>33304578
Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик

>>33304546
Think of the following words: Capitalist. Conglomorate. Corporation. Central. Community. Do any of those sound familiar?

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>>33304547
Salute finished, and so is your tie!

>>33304578
Holy shit, oh god, this is a problem.

>>33304590
What the fuck is that? The sheer alien connection of words prompted you to remember your country's name: The Committee of Capitalism, Commerce, and Profit.

>>33304581
Hey, I've noticed you've been a bit fixated on suicide. Do you need help? Do you want to talk?

>>33304578
Союз Советских Социалистических Республик, literally Union Council Socialist Republics

remember your meeting from the first post, and lose your shit

>>33304627
Okay. Now for step 2.

Put on shoes. And then haul ass to your meeting.

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>>33304581
>>33304636
What you need is a promotion, not a sacrifice for the greater - sorry, personal good. The moneyland has conscripts for that.

>>33304659
>>33304672
OH FUCK OH FUCK YOU GOTTA GO

>>33304714
Hey man, no worries. You're fun!

>>33304714
Aaaah. So you're a self righteous asshole who acts like a douchebag "out of principle" even though he is pretty sure it won't work.

Carry on, then.

Polite sage for off topic.

>>33304741
>Rush to meeting
>Forget briefcase
>Get into a fist fight with communist
>Bring severed head as replacement briefcase

haul ass to that meeting. your tie has kept you for long enough

>>33304741
RUN, BITCH. RUN.

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>>33304741
>>33304788
>>33304776
Ass in full haulage.
No communists in sight.

Speaking of which, what does your corporation actually sell or do?

(I never really know where to put these CYOAs, tbh)

your company is devoted to making mad stacks, and spreading the capitalist way

>>33304858
Clearly based on all the suicide thoughts, you sell a wide variety of highly erotic bdsm gear that can also be covertly used in assassinations and other situations.

That or golf clubs.

>>33304858
It sells clothes. Fashionable clothes. Like pants. And shoes.

And most importantly, shirts.

Much like the one you forgot to put on.

Too late now, I guess.

>>33304928
Nah that's just because we want to show our manly capitalist washboard abs off since it is a mark of company pride since we sell fitness equipment.

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>>33304893
Well, that's a given.

>>33304922
>>33304946
You think that your sex life would either be significantly worse or better than average if either were the case.

>>33304928
You sit down, shirtless, as the presenter rambles about lost sales. There are two co-workers sitting around the table. You see 203 and 606 barely listening to Commercissar Stanislav.

>>33304858
You're a people person. Your in the business of people. Mainly, selling and buying people.

>>33304990
Listen attentively.

As attentively as you can. Maybe, if you are attentive enough, he might let your lack of shirt slide.

>>33304990
Make sure to flex. All the time at the gym has paid off!

>>33305010
concentrate so hard that you start sweating profusely

>>33305026
Discover latent muscle-wizardry.
This magic presents itself by turning the display of sales down to sales up.

try selling stuff to your co-workers. surely this must impress Commercissar Stanislav

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>>33305009
Haven't you heard? Slavery is economically inefficient in industrialized countries. That, and something about the horrors of being a forced servant. Without pay.

>>33305026
You specifically remember your wife complaining about how shitty your muscles are. Perhaps it's best to avoid drawing attention to them.

>>33305010
>>33305030
>>33305010
Great idea, even the sweat. But who to sit next to? 203 seems recognizable, strangely enough. But familiarity can be very dangerous in the world of selling fashion.

606 is, on the other hand, very much a stranger.
Neither seem willing to purchase things.

>>33305132
606. We must establish our assertiveness over this stranger immediately.

sit next to 606, they do not yet know of your short comings

>>33305132
Try to market them your easy breathing, invisible line of shirts perfect for the summer heat.

>>33305132
What does 606 look like?

>>33305132
Are these customers or co-workers?

Either way, go with 203. You've already got his attention, so that's a plus.

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>>33305158
How true. You sit next to her.

>>33305199
A lady in her mid-twenties, though everyone looks young thanks to CAPITALIST COSMETIC SCIENCE. She has blonde hair and brown eyes.

>>33305160
You strike up a pitch, which turns into a mild choking in your throat. Oh dear Ford, you just remembered that your wife is the only woman you can talk to without wanting to run away.
"H... Hello, 606. Ho- How did you do? I mean - how do you do?" you stammer.
She doesn't say anything back. Scary.

fake a stroke. the perfect cover-up

>>33305272
Does she respond at all? Look at whatever she's looking at.

>>33305272
Realize that this should be labeled "quest" rather than "CYOA". Vow to correct your mistake in future threads.

Continue trying to converse with the person next to you.

>>33305272
Pinch her ass. Assert your value as a profitable member of the coroporate chain of command.

>>33305272
Ask her how her weekend went.

>>33305272
Your co-workers are all robots. Your wife is a robot, how could you forget? They're part of a manufactured world that you bought into to escape your inescapable fear of real human beings.

Unfortunately 606 looks a bit too real for your comforts.

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>>33305339
As cold as this corporate world may be, sexual harassment is still a thing.
>>33305329
She's looking at the water cooler.
>>33305331
>>33305397
(I vow on the honor of the Committee, good sir)
"Did you... sell stuff this weekend? Last weekend?" you desperately ask.
She taps your shoulder and looks down at her piece of paper, and back at you. There's a slight frustration in her expressions.

>>33305434
Better take a look at that fuckin piece of paper.

>>33305434
She's mute you dolt.

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>>33305449
>>33305453
Oh.

>>33305463
Become a deeper shade of red.
Then sell her on your manly ass invisi-shirts.

>>33305463
write on the paper "why are you even in this meeting?"

>>33305463
Listen to what the presenter is talking about and take notes. You can share them with her later.

>>33305463
Do we know sign language?

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>>33305525
Nope. You do know what signs mean though: trouble.
>>33305503
Sounds like a - OH FUCK STANISLAV JUST PUNCHED THE FUCKING TABLE

>>33305568
Slap the table with your palms twice. Obviously he's trying to start a song.

start glorifying capitalism. sell yourself out even more, if possible

>>33305568
>Stanislav lifts beefy hand
>Smooshed in the table is a tiny communist spy fly
>Stanislav saves the day yet again

>>33305618
Sell this symbol of capitalist greatness your invisible shirt.

>>33305568
Start wooping about freedoms of commerce and how great your leader is.

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>>33305618
Oh how you wish it were so.
>>33305607
>>33305613
>>33305665
You find it hard to slap the table when someone is holding you by your collar.
"I FUCKING LOVE SELLING SHIT, I LOVE BUYING SHIT, I LOVE SUPPLY AND DEMANDING SHIT!" you plead.
You don't think this is helping.

OOC. I think I'm done for this night. And since I'm a total fucking newbie at this, I don't know what to do. Do I just leave this here to be deleted, or put it somewhere else?
It's been real fun guys, and I'd like to continue this tale of glorious capitalism if I could.

>>33305725
It folds off the board and is gone forever. Then you make another one.

>>33305725
You can archive the thread here.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

Use the button at the bottom of the left-hand column.

>>33305780
>Using sup/tg/
Disgusting. Just use the autoarchive of foolz.

>>33305774
When should I post again and where?
>>33305797
>>33305780
Thanks guys, you're helping a lot.

>>33305834
Post again n /tg/, and whenever you want.

Its not like there's fucking rules. Quests are shuffled here from every other board as a containment measure so the mods aren't allowed to touch them lest they start infecting other boards again.

>>33305834
Normally, you create another topic on this board if the old one is gone, with "Thread 2" or something like that in the subject line. Also, include the actual title in the subject line.

Apparently, whoever archived the thread messed up the tags. A quest thread is supposed to have the "Collective Game" tag, as well as a unique tag for the quest itself, so that people can easily find the various threads.

>>33305860
A true CCCP attitude, comrade. I'll try to post tomorrow at around 11pm or 12am if work permits it.
All of you really made this a fun night, thanks guys!

>>33305870
my bad

>>33305889
It's also advisable to use a name and tripcode when you're running a quest, so people know which posts are yours.