>>33756905
recite the pokemon rap

>>33756976
This

>>33756905
Shadowboxing with our beedrill. So really, more like normal boxing, except we're strapped to a seat.

>>33756905
Give her dirty looks until she lets us go, assuming that we're too quiet to Pokemon rap.

>>33756905
>Start releasing Pokemon in the cat until she gets the message

>>33756976
>>33757011
"Ha, I knew I'd get you to say something!" GREEN cheers at what little sound you output. It's not an accomplishment you want to tell her. But you don't, because you really don't like talking. It's not your thing. Now POKEMON are you THING. Like this Beedrill sitting in your lap, just content to keep on buzz buzz buzzing. You go beedrill, you go buzz your fucking heart out.

It almost loses its heart anyway when a swopping bird pokemon tries to snatch it out of your lap. The car screeches to a halt at the side of the path, and a high pitched scream escapes your driver/escort. "What the fuck was that!" It's a moot question, because your a mute guy and Beedrill has finally finished cutting your straps. Like that, you're off to....

>Catch that fucking pokemon
>Fight a Trainer
>Go to Pewder City

>>33757204
>Catch that fucking pokemon
We don't allow bitches to get away with drivebys.

>>33757204
>Gotta catch 'em all.

>>33757204
>>>Catch that fucking pokemon

>>33757204
>Catch that fucking pokemon
got to catch them all

>>33757204
>Catch that fucking pokemon

>>33757204
>>Catch that fucking pokemon
No bird tries to eat our bug!

>>33757204
>Catch that fucking pokemon
You missspelled fight

>>33757204
Catch that fucking pokemon

Ask GREEN to wait a moment for you, it shouldn't be long.

>>33757204
Is RED mute or just incredibly untalkative? It's hard to tell.

>>33757204
>>>Catch that fucking pokemon
>you're a mute guy
>implying

>>33757204
>Catching is what we were born for.

>>33757359
He's talked on multiple occasions. Less mute than Seki-kun

>>33757255
>>33757260

You know what they say. And by they you mean you, and by say you mean constantly mentally repeat to yourself in your constant bits of isolation that drives you; GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL.

Beedrill takes the lead in the air, guiding you while GREEN is slowed by her own seatbelt. You always knew those things were deathtraps, and now they will be her undoing. Still, you promise to come back and not just runaway again since she helped you last night. The buzzing ball of hate you call your pokemon shows you a patch deep into a forest, where you find the creature that thought it you take your pocket monster. It's a magnificent beast, a large Pidgeotto that would look just as good leading your flock of pidgey as it would stuff on the wall for fucking you. The bird pokemon preens itself like it doesn't have a care in the world on it's perch.

>FIGHT
>BAG
>POKEMON
>RUN

>>33757393
He's like Killy mute.

>>33757420
>FIGHT
We have to establish the pecking order.

>>33757420
>STATUS

>>33757359
RED is poke-autist that solves problems with violence.
BLUE is a douche and kind of retarded
GREEN is a bitch and a bit fujoshit

>>33757420
>FIGHT
Remember, flying is weak to rock!

>>33757420
Team up with Growlithe to FIGHT.

>>33757420
>Fught
punch the bird right in the tits

>>33757500
>GREEN is a bitch and a bit fujoshit
>a bit fujoshit
>a bit

>>33757420
>ROLL 1d20, and first three rolls of the top choice is how well he PERFORMS.
>FIGHT means RED, POKEMON means he sends out a pokemon to fight.

>>33757420
>>BAG
RED used Rock Throw! It's super effective.

Rolled 7

>>33757567
FIGHT
use ROCK THROW

Rolled 2

>>33757567

Rolled 5

>>33757567
we got this.

Rolled 4

>>33757567

Rolled 8

>>33757567
>POKEMON
THROW A ROCK TOO.

Rolled 5

>>33757591
>>33757588
>>33757584
>>33757583
Well that's just impressive

Rolled 15

Does constantly getting his ass kicked make RED more or less badass? I can't tell.

>>33757583
>>33757584
>>33757588
RED used ROCK THROW! It missed...

The Pidgeotto didn't fail to notice though, and is in fact quite agitated by your latest attempt at pokemon violence. In fact, now that you think about it, you tend to have terrible luck when confronting pokemon. Sometimes you think you're supposed to let your pokemon fight instead, but that seems a bit like a PUSSY MOVE. Momma didn't raise no pussy.

Pidgeotto used SAND ATTACK! RED's accuracy dropped!

Oh god damn it there's sand everywhere. You eyes, your underwear, down your shirt, even in your pockets.


>FIGHT
>BAG
>POKEMON
>RUN

>>33757617

To become a master of asskickery, you need an intimate knowledge of where to kick one's ass. This can be acquired by being on the receiving end enough times.

Rolled 2

>>33757666
Are you shitting me? FIGHT

Rolled 20

>>33757666
UGH FINE SEND BEEDRILL AFTER IT

>>33757666
Well now we have to use Pocket Sand at some point

Tackle his shit

>>33757689
You moron, bugs are weak to flying

Rolled 6

>>33757666
>>POKEMON
Growlithe, I choose you!

>>33757666
>BAG
Hit pokemon with bag

>>33757666
>POKEMON

>>33757709
And humans are weak to pokemon. If RED gets to be a badass, his pokemon should too.

>>33757666
use SAND ATTACK with our newly acquired POCKET SAND!

>>33757689
You are now BEEDRILL. You're a number of things, really. You're a bug and poison duo type, a final evolution, and now you're sent out to protect your master. But let' be honest about what you really are. You're a RAGE type, the final evolution to all of life, and now you're sent out for JUSTICE FOR MASTER. Not to mention a little REVENGE.

The pidgeotto you're fighting has it in its mind it's hot shit. He says you're just a bug. You say he's just a bird. He says birds eat bugs. You say you have a drill he can try out. He tries some fancy high speed attack. You stab him right in the face with a drill and take an eye out. Then MASTER throws a pokeball and now you've got a new bitch.

>BE RED NOW

>>33757864
Let the beedrill. Fist bump it

Now pidgeotto's ruined. Great job.

>>33757903
>easier to skullfuck
>ruined

>>33757897
He seems autistic enough to do that.

>>33757864
Get a badass eyepatch for our new pokemon. Wait. Does the pokemon center regenerate lost eyeballs?

>>33757864
>You stab him right in the face with a drill and take an eye out
And now Pidgeotto's ruined. Nice work you retarded fucking bee.

>>33757864
get an eyepatch for bird

>>33757903
>not liking Solid Pidgeotto

>>33757897
This.

>>33757903
>>33757950
The Pokecenter will heal it.

Pokemon deal with this shit all the time.

File: respek.jpg (17 KB, 480x360)

17 KB JPG

>>33757864
Yo. Beedril.
Knucks.

>eye gouging
Ah yes, the first step to edgy nuzlocke type shit

>>33757864
Head back to GREEN; punch any Pokemon along the way.

>>33757958
>>33757920
>Flying with one eye.

Man you people are fucking retarded.

>>33757903
Pokecenter heals pokemon being cut in two (Guillotine), and a whole bunch of other fucked up shit. He b fine.

>>33757942
He'll give his life, not for honor, but for you.

>>33757998
>flying with one eye
>not making solid pidgetto even more badass

get a load of this guy

>>33758018
You know it was Naked Snake who actually lost an eye, right?

>>33758048
nope, don't give a shit either since solid pidgetto is a badass name.

>>33758018
There is a difference between being badass and being a fucking GIMP. This is the latter.

>>33757964
>>33757897
You're RED again and holy shit was that sweet. There's a sense of bitterness and regret that you didn't get to punch that bird yourself, but now you can just go straight to being friends with it I guess. Maybe you should give him a nickname and take him to the pokecenter?

There is a priority system though, and that means giving props where props are due. Fist meets drill without delay, and solidifies your friendship with Beedrill. Huh, so this is what friendship and camaraderie feels like?

"Oh my god you're bleeding RED!" GREEN screams as she comes running into the clearing. Nope, that's not friendship. That's pain. You stabbed yourself on Beedrill when giving knucks. No blame though Beedrill, all you.

>Explore the forest
>Nick Name Pokémon?
>Go with Green to Pewter, get hand bandaged

>>33758102
>whiny bitch confirmed

>>33758075
Too much to chew on.

>>33758114
>>Nick Name Pokémon?
Solid Pidgetto

>>33758114
Rip off clothes to make makeshift bandage

>>33758114
>>Go with Green to Pewter, get Pidgeotto fixed.
Better see if we can salvage this thing, otherwise we'll have to bitch smack Beedrill.

>>33758114
>Nick Name Pokémon?
Big Boss

>>33758114
Can't punch shit until that hand is healed, to Pewter!

>>33758114
>Go with Green to Pewter, get hand bandaged
The sooner we get a band-aid the sooner we can punch things again.

>>33758144
This.

>>33758144
Rip of GREEN's clothes to make a bandage

She's the one worried about your bleeding.

>>33758114
>Nick Name Pokémon?
ピジョン

>>33758157
Just wait until we find an Ekans or Arbok.

>>33758177
This one.

>>33758120
Good luck dodging those rocks shithead.

>>33758177
romanji for the moon impaired?

>>33758223
Pigeon, I believe.

File: boohoo.jpg (42 KB, 388x384)

42 KB JPG

>>33758217

File: pigeon-02.jpg (58 KB, 371x415)

58 KB JPG

>>33758223
Pijyon.

>>33758236
So it's stupid, gotcha.

>>33758250
>>33758236
Nice.

You really want to keep exploring and punching stuff, but GREEN won't give up on taking you to get fixed up. It isn't until she explains that you can't punch things with a ruined hand that your realize she might have a point. The ride goes on in silence, with only Beedrill to talk with. You're not sure why GREEN's so mad right now, but it can't be anything to serious or she'd tell you. You settle for playing patty cake with Beedrill all the way to Pewter City.

>BE RED
>BE GREEN
>BE BLUE

>>33758311
>BE BLUE

>>33758311
Be BLUE.


Be starving in the middle of the woods..

>>33758311
>BE GREEN
>Be retarded as all fuck.

This should be good.

>>33758311
Haven't been BLUE in a while.
Let's be BLUE.

>>33758311
>>BE GREEN

>>33758311
>BE BLUE

>>33758311
Can we have one update in GREEN's head and then be BLUE?

>>33758311
>BE BEEDRILL
WE ARE BEST AT PATTY CAKE.

>>33758311
>>BE RED

>>33758311
>>BE GREEN

>>33758311
JOY

>BE GREEN
I can't imagine there's a lot to do as Blue except walk around the woods being angry, though I have no doubt Professor Oak would surprise us if we decided to be him.
There's stuff to go immediately as Green though, and I'd like to see what's going on in her head.

>>33758311
>BE BLUE

>>33758311
>>BE GREEN

I don't see what she has to be mad about.

>>33758311
>BE GREEN
>Secretly lust for RED's dick and be jealous of Beedrill.

>>33758353
>>33758324
You are BLUE, you're 16 YEARS OLD and like to look on the bright side of things. Someone else might have flipped their shit about getting car jacked by their crush and left in the woods overnight with nothing but a sleeping bag and their pokemon. You saw a great training opportunity to learn how not to get killed, and got to make it to Pewter City before RED or GREEN. There's free food and a bed at the pokemon center too, so that's good too. You think the best thing is that you've gotten your first badge, crushed every trainer here so bad that RED won't get to battle any of them to learn how to actually fight, and just finished tagging the gym. It's been a good day.

It could get better though. What should you do about it?

>GO TO POKECENTER, HIT ON NURSE JOY
>GO TO MOUNT MOON
>PUT OUT POLICE REPORT FOR STOLEN CAR

Meanwhile, in GREEN's head

>Stupid sexy RED
>Stupid sexy RED
>Stupid sexy RED
>Stupid sexy RED

>>33758506
What do you mean, we can only do one thing?
>PUT OUT POLICE REPORT FOR STOLEN CAR
>INVITE OFFICER JENNY ON A ROMANTIC WALK TO MOUNT MOON

>>33758506
how about
>Go eat giant fucking bowl of RAMEN

>>33758506
>GO TO POKECENTER, HIT ON NURSE JOY

>>33758311
>BE GREEN

>>33758536
I see no flaws in this plan!

>>33758506
>>PUT OUT POLICE REPORT FOR STOLEN CAR

The dick train never stops.

>>33758506
>>GO TO MOUNT MOON
Need to keep a good pace ahead of them

>>33758506
>GO TO POKECENTER, HIT ON NURSE JOY

>>33758562
Honestly, this Blue seems more like a pussy than a dick.

>>33758506
>Police report then
>>GO TO POKECENTER, HIT ON NURSE JOY
Provided Jenny isn't a hot cup of ready and willing sex. Dat /ss/

BLUE does understand that all the trainers he beat will have visited the pokecenter before RED gets here, right? They're probably there right now.

>>33758676
BLUE has never been very smart.

>>33758506
>>GO TO POKECENTER, HIT ON NURSE JOY
hopefully that faggot RED won't show up again.

Shit, let's send her to prison. Maybe it'll be like Orange is the New Black and she'll have fun adventures where she'll learn not to be a bitch. That or she'll get prison bitched and you're going to be fapping to that thought for a while. You're not too particular on which.

The police station takes a surprisingly long time to find and leaves you questioning some things about your government. Seriously, when the Don of the Mob is Gym Leader, it makes you wonder what kind of law enforcement is there around here. The hot kind, it turns out. Not that you're too surprised about that, you've seen the Naughty Nurse Joy and Officer Jennifer Black Sheep websites, so you aren't too surprised when the cousins you've found are hot, but god damn those stockings are going to give you a heart attack.

>REPORT
>FLIRT
>WHY NOT BOTH?

>>33758836
>>FLIRT
I'd like to report a theft, because you've stolen my heart.

>>33758836
por que no los dos

>>33758836
>>WHY NOT BOTH?
THE ONLY ANSWER.

>>33758836
>FLIRT

>>33758836
>>WHY NOT BOTH?

>One eyed Pidgetto
>Beedrill
>Muscled guy covered in scars
>1903752786 Pidgeys
>Growlithe
RED team is neat

>>33758836
>WHY NOT BOTH?

File: Red.jpg (119 KB, 565x800)

119 KB JPG

>>33758836
>FLIRT
>>33758888
Red is batshit insane Ryoma with Autist

>>33758836
>FLIRT

>>33758836
>>WHY NOT BOTH?
show her the results of leg day

Rolled 2

>>33758888
imagine 50 pidgeys doing leg day....
Is that even possible?

>>33759045
RED would find a way

File: Every day is upper body day.png (1.14 MB, 1280x1422)

1.14 MB PNG

>>33759045
but for a pidgey, every day is upper body day

>>33758877
Some people call it cheesy. Some people don't talk and throw rocks. Other people call you a scumbag waiting to take advantage of other people. Fuck those last two, and maybe the first depending on how much a bitch your sister is being today. "I'd like to report a theft, because you've stolen my heart," You break the conversation like that shitty Snorlax on Ice thing RED made you two go see a couple years ago.

The blush and laughter from the woman isn't so bad, you think when you get down to it. Hopefully it means you'll be getting down later to it. "Are you even eighteen?" The old woman asks when she finally relents her bout of giggling like a Lass.

Shit she's good. Except you're better, because RED is better than the average autist. He's like a Stage 1 Rainman, the evolution of the regular everyday Rainman that's super good at two things. That second thing being making fake IDs. "Gary Oak, Pallet Town," You tell her with a wink. Then begins your tragic tale of kindness to a girl lost in the woods who stole your car, and your backstory of taking care of lonely autistic children between volunteering at the Pokémon Prof's lab.

So yeah, you got a date tonight. What else is new?

>Get ready for date.
>Head to pokemon center and hilariously doublebook date.
>See if RED is failing at the GYM yet.

>>33759151
>Head to pokemon center and hilariously doublebook date.

>>33759151
>Get ready for date.
>Be GREEN, hilariously roll into town and cockblock BLUE

>>33759151
>>See if RED is failing at the GYM yet.

>>33759151
>>Head to pokemon center and hilariously doublebook date.
this can't go wrong

>>33759151
get ready for date

get good clothes that don't say "I was ditched in the woods by my crush so she could hang with an autist"

>>33759151
>>Head to pokemon center and hilariously doublebook date.

>>33759151
>Head to pokemon center and hilariously doublebook date.

>>33759151
Pussy takes presidence.

>>33759151
>Get ready for the date

>>33759151
>>Get ready for date.

For all your talk, you haven't had a date in, like, ever. Don't fuck this up.

>>33759290
>Get ready for date I men

>BLUE THE SEXOHOLIC RETARD
>GREEN THE FUJOSHI STALKER
>RED THE POKEMON FIGHTER

>>33759151
>Head to pokemon center and hilariously doublebook date.

>>33759168
>>33759226
If you're going to do this right, do it like a man and make it a double battle if you know what you man. And you do because you're not crazy. Because how could you not know what you mean. That's stupid. This writer is stupid.

What you see instead of Nurse Joy waiting to swoon on you is your stolen car waiting out in front of the center. A triple battle? No, that's just stupid. Who does a triple battle, even RED isn't that autistic to want to try fighting three pokemon at once. Besides that, GREEN is off your hit list for right now. Of course, that's no excuse not to be amazing and completely ALPHA as FUCK. Casual stroll or strut.

>Casual
>STRUT

>>33759414
>>STRUT
Flaunt it if you got it

>>33759414
>STRUT

>>33759414
>STRUT

>>33759414
>>STRUT
BLUE is biggest douchebag.

>>33759414
>STRUT
Not even a choice.

>Casual

>>33759414
>Casual
It's mysterious
Bitches love mysteries

>>33759414
If this doesn't end in a /ss/ 3-way I'll be very disappointed.

>>33759414
>>STRUT
walking, not even once

>>33759505
>expecting anything other than blue crashing and burning

>>33759414
Recall that the only reason you're walking right now is because GREEN jacked your wheels. Get angry.

I am getting this right?
BLUE is kinda stupid guy that cant get laid
RED is autistic guy who fights pokemon
GREEN is bitch supreme that wants to bone red

>>33759594
GREEN is the insane girl raised by tumblr

>>33759594
More like GREEN wants to watch RED bone BLUE. All those likes for her blog.

>>33759594
So far BLUE has had decent success with new girls he's just met, so I wouldn't say he can't get laid yet. The real problem is that the only two girls in his home town were his sister and GREEN, and now he's only starting to get a chance of spreading his wild oats everywhere.

>>33759442
>>33759465
Walk into the center like your name is BLUE. Popping collars and winning badges cause this shit is all you. All eyes turn to the door and what do they see? A sweet ass man who they'll never be.

GREEN and RED are over at the counter, with a pidgeotto that looks like it just got fully healed. You're not sure what's going on with that, other than RED looks pretty sad and is clutching some tiny ass eye patch in his palm. Shit's weird, but an acceptable level of weird. Not time to associate with the common folk, you got a double date to book.

The two walk off, talking about heading to the GYM in as much as RED ever talks, while you STRUT on up. "Nurse Joy, I have a question," You ask with innocence so feigned you should be put in cuffs. Hopefully, you might tonight.

"Oh, what's that dear?" She asks with the sort of sweetness you could get diabetes from.

"How much does a Snorlax weigh?"

"I'm not sure.... do you have a pokedex?"

"I already checked. It's enough to break the ice. I'm your date Gary, nice to meet you."

>Be GREEN
>Be RED

>>33759779
>Be GREEN

>>33759779
>>Be RED

>>33759779
Jesus christ how horrible.

>Be RED

>>33759779
>>Be GREEN

What's her team like? She gonna solo the game with a Pikachu?

>>33759779
NO.

NO EYE PATCH PIDGEOTTO

>>33759779
>Be GREEN

>>33759779
>>Be RED

Rolled 38

>>33759779
>Be RED

>>33759779
>>Be RED
>Smack Beedrill for ruining the fucking Pidgeotto.

>>33759779
>Be GREEN

>>33759779
>Be RED

I have an eyepatch and It got no use.
>>33759851
Dude, The pidgeotto is fully healed. No eye missing otherwise Blue wo

>>33759779
>>Be GREEN

>>33759779
>Be GREEN

>>33759779
Be GREEN

>>33759779
Damn, no eyepatch.

>BE GREEN

>>33759875
Its ok, we can just have beedrill poke out his other eye.

>>33759934
Nah man. Red may be an autisic guy but he isn't a douchebag.

Oh well.

>>33759779
>>Be GREEN
lets see some punches thrown at pokemon

Wouldn't be surprised if he makes him wear the eyepatch anyway.

>>33760034
EYEBALL DAY

>>33759812
Sometimes, the likes and upvotes just aren't worth the shit you put up with. Like right now, for example. RED is MIFFED he didn't get to give Solid an eye patch like it didn't cripple the poor pokemon. Though you know he wouldn't have a problem with that, so at least you don't have to worry about him being an ableist. Instead, you have to be concerned about him purposefully maiming them.

"If it's that big a deal, just throw the eye patch on anyway. That way it can take it off mid fight to reveal it's powrlevel or some shit like that," You spew out once you're too fed up to deal with it anymore. You didn't sign up to take care of a mentally troubled individual! Except you kind of did by continually taking care of him. That's not the point.

The point right now is getting him to the gym before BLUE does and helping him take on the leader there. You've even offered to let him use your pokemon for it, you're so kind. But why is that Officer behind you signaling for you to pull over the car?

>Pull Over
>Get RED to the gym

>>33760079
>Get RED to the gym

ditch the cops

>>33760079
>Pull Over

>>33760079
>Pull Over
We can talk our way out of this

>>33760079
>Get RED to the gym

>>33760079
RED can tuck and roll while you talk with the popo

>>33760079
>Get RED to the gym
Speed up! Gotta go fast!

>>33760079
>Get RED to the gym
FUCK DA POLICE

>>33760079
>Get RED to the gym

>>33760110
>>33760111
And then you think, why not both? Besides, RED's proven himself resistant to high speed trauma before, so what's the worst that could happen. As if he could read your mind, the teen's already leapt from your car like it ain't not thang while you pull over to a halt. Seriously, you worry about that kid. At least your fans like bandage moe. Maybe you should have him be the Uke in your next doujin?

The cruiser comes to a halt not far behind you, a good sign. Then comes the order to step out of the car with your hands drawn. Maybe she thought you pushed RED out of the car? You can explain that, he's not right in the head. Then the glove compartment pops open and the big bag of weed rolls out. Shit.

>#YOLO
>Call a Lawyer
>Call RED

>>33760079
SHIT
THE COPS
THEY'RE PART OF THE WHITE PRIVILEGED HETERONORMATIVE PATRIARCHY.
>Get RED to the gym

Wait, aren't the cops all girls?
FUCK YEAH
THE COPS
THEY ARE OUR SISTERS IN BATTLE AGAINST THE PATRIARCHY, AND WE MUST STAND IN SOLIDARITY WITH FELLOW OPPRESSED WOMYN AGAINST THE MALE OPPRESSOR.
>Pull Over

>>33760365
>#YOLO

>>33760365
>>Call RED

>>33760365
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRXk_zK-Ccw

>>33760365
>>#YOLO
Light up, it's gonna be a long night.

>>33760365
>#YOLO
And
>Call RED

>>33760365
>>#YOLO
better explains it's BLUE's weed

>>33760365
>Call RED

>>33760427
>>33760365
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvPzmeEI9CI

>>33760365
>Call a Lawyer

>>33760365
You're from his home town and he ran off, stealing the family car, I guarantee you it's not registered to him. Since you're great friend with his sister, and thus with the family, his mum asked you to get it for them, and bring back the mentally strange RED.

Family wanted to settle all of this in house, call up the legal owner, she'll explain everything, except the weed. BLUE has to deal with that.

>>33760396
>>33760409
There's a correct answer here, but you sure as hell don't think you've made it tonight. Probably because you're in jail for evading arrest, grand theft auto, and destruction of stolen property. At least they didn't get the weed. So here you are, in a cell in the back of the jail house. Swear to god, has this place ever been used? It's so dusty, you're going to complain about it on the internet for triggering your allergies. It's about that point you realize you have your pokephone, but let RED take Pika to his battle. Might as well call him up.

"Hey RED you there?"

"...."

"I didn't think this through did I?"

>WHAT NOW?

>>33760626
>>WHAT NOW?
be Pika

>>33760533
Only that's not how it is, and if they call BLUE's family, that'll be known. It's BLUE's word against GREEN's, and she's just shown to be a liar.

Who are they going to believe?

>>33760626
>BE RED
Time for autism.

>>33760626
Phone blog about it maybe if we raise a big enough stink they'll let us go.
social justice

>>33760626
call a lawyer, call BLUE's mom, shlick to RED

>>33760626
Ask /pol/ for advice.

>>33760626
Say we will help him find strong pokemon to fight if he keeps us out of jail

>>33760626
Tell red to pick you up from jail. I expect he'll break her out

>>33760626
> Be RED

>>33760626
>BE RED

>>33760731
The flaw in your plan, is that breaking GREEN out is not catching/fighting/raising Pokemon.

>>33760626
>BE RED'S MOM

>>33760792
... I'll second this.
She's probably having one hell of a hen party now that her kid's gone.

>>33760769
Green is smart
She will find us strong legendary pokemons
And maybe will give us luck

>>33760769
Sure it is. It's training for growlithe

>>33760626
>BE RED

>>33760769
Just word it as some form of training and we can get Red do whatever we want, including breaking us out of jail.

>>33760769
The cops are bound to have pokemon of their own.

>>33760905
That just gives RED more things to punch

>>33760667
>>33760751
Officer Jenny looks pretty nice for the only cop in the city. Doesn't she work 24/7? Nurse Joy works 24/7 you think, and she works in every city at once. But Officer Jenny looks like she's going out on a date, and that doesn't make sense. After all, what will happen if a crime occurs, will Gliscorman come and stop it? Fuck yeah he will, Gliscorman fucking rocks.

But instead of a date, she's kind of busy helping you get GREEN out of a jail right now. You'd think it nice how helpful she's being if she wasn't treating you like a lost little kid. You're a perfectly functional teenager damn it. Other than the bloody face from jumping out of the car again. At least you found a use for the eyepatch now.

"I'm so sorry," The Officer tells GREEN when you show up in the back holding area. The girl looks like she's been in prison for weeks, and it's destroyed her.

"You're so strong, supporting your little brother. I never meant to break up your family. And I'm sorry for confiscating his medicine, I'll get it right back," She goes on to add after unlocking the cell and hurrying off to the evidence locker.

GREEN eyes with with suspicion and fear in equal amounts. "...What did you do?"

"Can I go punch an Onyx now?"

>YES
>NO
>MAYBE
>CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION

>>33760932
>>YES

>>33760905
Exactly. How can he expect to fight the Mafia of he can't take out the police?

>>33760932
>>YES

>>CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION

Because I'll say yes again

>>33760959
<YES

>>33760932
>I DON'T KNOW.

>>33760932
>You can do whatever you want after that stunt

>>33760932
>CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION
>WHATEVER
>YES

>>33760932
>YES

>>33760932
Only after you take your medicine.
>GET BLAZED

File: Another day for red.jpg (48 KB, 470x313)

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>>33760932
>YES

>>33760959
"I'm sorry RED. I'm so sorry," GREEN apologizes as the two of you stand outside the Pewter city gym. It's been a long day, and the building is closed. that could be dealt with, it just gives you another day to go train up and get your pokemon ready. Maybe even put that eye patch on Solid. No, the unforgivable thing is a little piece of graffiti by the door

BLUE WAS HERE, RED IS A LOSER.

At least you can try to schedule a battle tomorrow. GREEN is already calling him up on speaker phone, and the video connects quickly. The man looks like a late teenager, only a few years old than you and into his college years. Tanned skinned reveals him to probably be one of the diggers that excavates Mt. Moon or something, while his close eyes give him a thoughtful and comprehensive look. "Hey there, I'm Brock. Your friend GREEN says you want to battle me tomorrow and that's great! I always love taking on new trainers and showing them the ropes. What kind of pokemon are you bringing tomorrow so I know what kind of battle to bring?"

A few seconds later you call out the three you've got on you and GREEN's Pika. The stunned look on his face assures you of the obvious victory you're going to have tomorrow.

The man gives out an laugh so forced and awkward you don't know what he's getting at until he speaks up again. "Um... I don't mean to be rude, but that's a poison/bug duo All my pokemon are rock and ground, who aren't affected by them."


Shit, this guy is good.

[TO BE CONTINUED THURSDAY]

>>33761463
That's alright, because RED is fighting type.

>>33761463
"Who says I'll be using Pokemon?"

>>33761463
>implying beedrill isn't rage type

this guy has no idea what he's up against

>>33761463
>@POKEMON_QUEST
Quick Quesrion, how did RED fight 50 pidgeys?

>>33761602
Back to back fight scene with Beedrill. a legend was born

>>33761463
What was Blue doing with a bag of ganja and where did he get it from?

>>33761755
Do Beedrill and RED get along so well together because of how RED caught Beedrill, how they fought the pidgeys, or are they just naturally compatible?

>>33761786
>It was likely his sister Daisy's, all things considered. She either left it in his car because she got high and forgot it there, planted it as a gift for his trip, or he stole it to fuck with her.

>>33761838
>Yes

>>33761982
"Aromatherapy"

>>33761982
Alright, so here's the plan

GREEN is going to get baked as fuck with Brock before RED's battle, Grass is super effective, right?

Then RED Fights the shit out of him

>>33762063
... BRILLIANT!

>Archived

>>33762063
>Implying RED needs help

>>33762267
Yeah, but that doesn't mean GREEN isn't going to try to give it to him.

Now we just need to get him a psychic so he can stop being so bad autistic and be more good autistic

through the magic of mind fucking

Fucker's going to beat Brock's Onix with its own body parts, isn't he

>>33759151
Is nobody going to acknowledge that apparantly RED can make fake ID's? Shit mang, he should sell those to kids wanting to go to the casino. Cost: 8 pokemon.

>>33762347
I just want to know why he gave one to BLUE that didn't have his name as DOUCHE or FAGGOT

>>33762347
Nah nah nah, he gives them to whoever beats him. Make the scrubs come to him to fight.

File: name's Ass. Housewares.jpg (35 KB, 394x302)

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This is the best pokemon quest.

no melodrama, no sperg fights,no autists. just always sunny in Kanto.

the playerbase might turn to shit, but hey! It will be a fun ride up till then!

>>33762402
>no autists
Have you not been reading this quest or something?

>>33762402
>always sunny in Kanto.
I'm pretty sure this is a reference to something, but I'm not sure what.

>>33762267
How does Pidgey and Pidegeyotto do leg day?

What do the pidgey think of it's new master

>>33762402
Not to mention no lesbians.

>>33762402
"Hey BLUE, do you think a person could like win a fist fight with a Onyx or something?"
"What? No. NO. That is like the stupidest thing I've heard all day RED. No. God... GODAMN IT NO!"
"Heh... ya right, I mean you'd have to be a complete IDIOT right?"
>RED Fist Fights and Onyx

>>33762474
ROCK is weak against FIGHT type. RED might stand a chance.

>>33762394
>implying RED can lose
>>33762385
It's about the art of the craft, not the potential for a joke. If you were forging the greatest blade ever, would you make the hilt look like a coque&balls?

Scratch that, we probably would.

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>>33762474

>>33762515
RED is clearly RAGE type. Pretty sure Oak said he ran purely on RAGE in like the first or second quest

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>>33762534
If it's one of these.definitely.

>>33762577
That was either a very good google search, or a very well sorted hard drive. I'm not sure if I want to know, it'll spoil the anticipation.

>>33762443
Don't jinx it, we still have green as a protag

>>33762534
>>implying RED can lose
the world doesn't know that yet

also he lost to pidgeotto and the high speed ground

>>33762443
I just want that Joy/Jenny/BLUE /ss/ wincest

>>33762648
Merely an attack in a reverse direction. There was probably a sandshrew there.

>>33762648
He took a hit from them, that doesn't mean losing.

>>33762630
They're called bollock daggers. They were popular in the north for some four hundred years. Surprisingly comfortable in the hand.

/tg/ is educational, mum.

>>33762664
he was knocked unconscious by the ground and he didn't finish off pidgeotto hence lost

quid pro quo

>>33762709
Didn't finish off? He caught it.

>>33762664
What about the Ratata, that was kicking his ass?

>>33762702
I need to purchase this for my DM. He'll be ecstatic.

>>33762722
Beedrill finished it off man

>>33762820
Not winning personally isn't losing.

Too bad there isn't really anything to discuss in this quest

We should pit Red and Blue against each other in scheme wars

>>33764647
>red
>scheme

Anything more complex than 'punch the target' is probably beyond him.

>>33764841
GREEN then? BLUE be trying to screw over RED, GREEN keeps stopping him and getting lewd photos as RED beats the shit out of things and is generally oblivious to GREEN being dtf at the drop of a hat because of his sexy sexy abs?

Meanwhile BLUE and GREEN have hatesex

>>33764841
He did manage to trick Officer Jenny, though.

Green a worst