>>34314640
Strike a pose while trying to out-stare the sun

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>>34314662
You do your best impression of the iconic pose from part 4 of Bebe's Eccentric Escapade, but the sun is unimpressed.

The artist's lack of skill mystifyingly means the sun has switched positions, but otherwise your attempt seems to have no effect.

>>34314776
Punch the ninjas hiding in the background. Into the sun.

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>>34314799
What's the uppercut command again? Double quarter-circle forward double punch? Fuck, you can't even see your inputs after staring into the sun for so long. What the hell was the point of that anyway?

You end up whiffing a kick while the ninja laughs at your scrubbiness from a distance.

>>34314915
Chase that fucking ninja!

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>>34314990
FFFFUUUUUCKING NINJAAAAAAAAS!

As you run after the blackclad heckler, you realize there maybe should've been a system for conflict resolution in place. But whatever, karatemen run on the law of narrative. You arbitrarily build a bit of Deus EX meter from running.

>>34315083
Jump into the sky and then convert the energy into a power kick with the sun behind you.

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>>34315233
You have earned just enough Deus EX meter for this ridiculous stunt to work. With a mighty karateman nonsense shout, you leap unreasonably high into the air and land a powerful kick right on the face of the ninja.

You offer a brief thanks to the power of cutscenes that you could suddenly jump a mile into the air and land unharmed.

>>34315294
Then came the ninja's dad with an american police officer asking questions.

>>34315294
Take his clothes, become Ninja.

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>>34315348
Awww, shit son! It's the fucking 5.0!

They always ruin the fun. After ninjas, a karateman's worst enemies are the cops.

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>>34315365
Fortunately, you have a cunning plan. You quickly don't the ninja outfit, becoming indistinguishable from the shadow warrior you defeated.

>No needs to worry officer. Just a ninja doing ninja stuff.

>Oh yeah? What kind of ninja stuff? And why is your mask all bloody? And what's with the naked corpse?

B.. B.. Bleach his anus

>>34315470
Just a hired hit, I am a licensed ninja, right dad?

>>34315470
Say something you shit dad. It's your fucking son.

>>34315423

This is the truth, brother.

>>34315486
Give him some time, this is probably the proudest moment of his life, getting to watch his son kill a man.

>>34315470

All part of centuries-old ninja rites, officer.

>>34315523
It's his culture you fucking nazi!

>>34315470

I was standing my ground.

OR

Under the state law of Missouri you are required to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that I was not acting in self-defense.

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>Truth be told, I haven't talked to my son since he quit Ninja College after he got his girlfriend pregnant. I was hoping to reunite with him at the funeral.

Mr. Ninja says with a tear in his eye.

>How about it, son? Are you willing to give an old fool a second chance?

>>34315564
Give me a ninja weapon gift and we're even dad.

>>34315577
And make it ridiculously oversized!

>>34315564
awww, that is pretty bad.

Try and make up with the guy whose son we just killed.

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>>34315577
>Okay, son. Have this ridiculously convoluted double-edged scythe-chain-thingie. It's been in our family for generations.

>>34315644
Now drag it and go find an adventure. What cool shit karate ninjas do?

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>Hey, look, this is all very touching, but I'm still pretty sure you just killed that guy. That's illegal, you know. I might have to take you down to the station for a statement.

>>34315710
Here's a statement, asshole. Use that new weapon on him.

2 wanted stars!

>>34315710
Licensed ninja bitch, dad will tell you, why do you think I went to ninja college?

>>34315735
You dropped. You never got that licence.

Oh, no, you got it all wrong. He's not dead, he's resting.

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>>34315731
Unfortunately, you have no ninja training. The closest you've gotten to using a tool was "Standing with a duffel bag over your shoulder facing away from the camera" class.

In the blink of an eye, Mr. Ninja interferes.

>Run son, daddy will take care of this! Secret Ninja Technique: Scorpion Surfboard!

>>34315742
fuck, curse our murder victims useless in life. Unfortunately, I don't think we can claim that we did the world a service at our trial.

Gonna have to fight our way out, Karateman style

>>34315759
>>34315756

We can't do that in front of dad. We may expose ourselves and shame him. Ruuuuuuuuun. Let's begin a journey into the highest asian mountains on a quest for the legendary ninja monastery. We'll make dad proud!

>>34315756
>I was standing my ground.
>OR
>Under the state law of Missouri you are required to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that I was not acting in self-defense.

Or, fine, whatever, just start hammering that cop in the gut while your dad has him int he hold. With judo punches.

>>34315781

Not our real dad, bro. Which begs the question, doesn't that naked corpse on the ground have, you know, that guys son's face?

>>34315788
They are ninja's they probably come out the womb with facemasks

>>34315788
He is now you heartless bastard. He gave too much for us. He gave us his family's ancient weapon and is holding the cops at bay. We'll train, we'll become certified ninjas, and we'll get him out.

>>34315810
This will end with a prison breakout after we return from the ancient monastery with the wisdom of a thousand senseis...

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>>34315788
Stick figures don't have faces, and ninjas are masters of deception.

You decide to help Mr. Ninja out. After all, you did murder his son for little to no reason, so the least you can do is help him beat up the police officer trying to solve the crime you committed.

>>34315847

Now that our new father has begun this, it can only end in the death of this lawman. While we continue punching his vulnerable organs, we must consider what we will do with the body...

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>>34315847
But you waste too much time! Here comes the backup!

>Go, son! You have too much to live for! Let this old man do something for his family for once in his pathetic life!

>>34315891
GET IN THE CHUPPA

>>34315891
Dad, stop this we are ninjas we don't believe in honor. Just come and escape these clowns.

>>34315891

Wait! Our new ninja tool has exactly as many blades as incoming police! We must deploy it! Truly, all of our training has been for this shining moment, father and son together.

>>34315913
We're not a ninja though, we have no idea how to use that thing. And he's not our father. So you better prep for disappointment.

>>34315924

The spirit of ninjitsu flows through us all.

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>>34315913
OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS THAT WEAPON IS RIDICULOUSLY IMPRACTICAL AND YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BEING A NINJA!

I'M SORRY FAKE DAD!

>>34315891
Run off, looking back wistfully into the sunset with watery eyes.

>>34315958
We can rebuild him. We have the technology. But first we must flee.

>>34315958

We shouldn't let him die believing a lie. Shout the truth of his son's fate as we excape. poor bastard.

>>34315969
wait?! Thats stupid, its better that he die contented than be tortured that he wasted his life to protect his son's killer.

>>34315979

YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE CODE OF THE NINJA

>>34315998
NEITHER DO WE, WE AREN'T A NINJA

>>34316000

Your trips are persuasive. But they remind me ninjas are dicks and we hate them. Lets shame this old doucher. We are an honorable karateman.

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The police are momentarily stunned by your callous act of random violence. You decide to use this opportunity to hoof it as fast as you can.

As you run off against the setting sun, you can hear the voice of Mr. Ninja carried on the wind.

>I know I'm not a good man. I know where I'm going when I die. But let this be the one good act I ever performed in my life.

>Even though you weren't actually my son, I know you are a good man. Farewell.

>Final Secret Ninja Technique: Giant Explosion That Will Make My Death A Significant Force Of Character Development And Angst!

>>34316075
Keep hoofing it, reminiscing somberly on recent events.

>>34316075
Go drink at a tavern to deal with your emotions.

>>34316075
>>34316094
This, but also take of the shameful ninja mask.

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You keep running until you hit a jagged cliff. You decide this would be the appropriate time to rip off the ninja mask in a dramatic fashion while the title card hits the screen.

You also imagine there being a really kickass theme. Something orchestral with a chick singing about honor, duty, love and betrayal. You him the tune to yourself as you pose. Posing is an important aspect of the karateman lifestyle.

>>34316165
>No helicopter boss coming from under the cliff

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>>34316165
Apparently, the brutal murder of an innocent ninja, the accidental stabbing of his father, and subsequent nonsensical nuclear detonation has leveled you up.

>+1 Strength
>+1 Karate
>+3 Health
>+2 Moxy
>+5 Responsibility
>+3 Love

You are now probably wanted by the police. And probably a whole bunch of people who aren't too fond of random nuclear explosions. And you're pretty much back to where you started.

What to do now?

>>34316727

Go and find a worthy opponent to test our karate skill.

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>>34316742
You begin your quest for a worthy opponent. Though you fail to find one in your immediate vicinity, you do find a suspiciously convenient sign.

>Martial Arts Tournament: Qualifiers start whenever the main character gets here

Well, that sure was convenient.

Look for a suitable Karateman mout to get there on. Something like a T-Rex, or a huge Walrus named Fergus.

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>>34316806
According to karateman rules, you are only allowed to wander the land, even when it makes no sense based on distances and time frames. However, this allows you to use the secret art of karateman wandering to arrive at a cliff overlooking the arena with your trusty pointless bag slung over your shoulder.

>>34316883
Retrieve the mystic item from the bag your karate tribe lent you that you convienently forgot to mention until now.

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>>34316913
Don't be silly, there's no such thing as a karate tribe. You took three years of karate in college, with a major in board breaking.

You do have these super sweet fingerless karateman gloves, though. They're super important for sentimental reasons you can't quite remember at the moment.

>>34316972
Well put them on man. Now go to the nice woman and register at the tournament.

>>34316972
Put them back in the sack and go up to the Colosseum for the mandatory encounter with your soon to be rival prior to the actual contest.

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>>34317053
>>34317104
As you register yourself for the tournament, you bump into an Arrogant Douchebag.

>Red Punch style karate, huh? I entered this tournament to show the world the strength of Blue Kick karate. You don't stand a chance against my special moves, dweeb!

>>34317183
Show him the Green Fart on Face style then challenge him to a combat. The tournament isn't beginning until you arrive, after all.

>>34317183
Say that you will prove the strength of the red punch and best of luck in the tournement.

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>>34317183
>You end up losing
>Everywhere you go you'll see "Blue karate was here, red karate is a loser" signs

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>>34317225
Before you can throw down with the Arrogant Douchebag, a Cool But Pointless Cameo interrupts.
>Sorry, but no rivals will be allowed to fight before the semifinals. Tournament rules. Besides, the first rounds will start any minute.

>>34317344
God, Ash was such a loser in the series. It was always so dissonant with playing the game where you can become the poke league champion and beat the elite four.

>>34317369
Can you at least go to the vending machine first and quench your thirst? That was quite a bit of walking.

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>>34317369
You head down to the arena, where the announcer is waiting.

>Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's first fight will be between the Karateman and Old Kung Fu Man! The rules are simple, whoever gives up or stays down for a ten count is the loser! Fight!

>>34317417
While drinking you also meet a mysterious hot blonde wishing you good luck. More on her later.

>>34317419
Wait for his move.

>>34317419
Ok, everyone knows that in random fights age=power so this guy may or may not be some uber god.

We got to wait very patiently and concentrate absolutely.

>>34317419

SHIT!!!!! HIT HIM HARD AND FAST!!!! The Old Kung Fu Man is gonna kick our ass hard!!!!

>>34317460
No! You fool! If we try and hit him, he'll suddenly get a glint in his eye then dodge/counter our attack.

Thats the karate way! Mooks and badguys always underestimate the old man and go all out and then end up getting their ass beat.

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>>34317446
>>34317459
You stand still, your guard stiff, waiting for this master of the Chinese martial arts to make his move. The crowd is deathly silent as he slowly hobbles toward you, supporting himself on his walking stick.

>The crab may catch the toad, young one, but does the crane know about the warts?

He says, giving you that sly wink old Chinese men are known for.

>>34317505
But at the same time constantly empowering him like he's some crazy old karate god would only weaken his power level and show him off as an old senile incapable of having a fight. That was your true plan all along, wasn't it?

>>34317533
What a dick. Are we gonna take that? Kick the crane to the side.

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>>34317533

"Look behind you! A topless young man!!!"

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>>34317564
You kick the crane. Little known fact, karatemen hate aquatic birds.

As impressive as this feat is, it does little besides make the audience boo your random acts of violence.

>Animal Cruelty +3.23

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>>34317678
Throw a kareteball at it and try to capture it. We could use it as our mount when we need to travel great distances.

>>34317678
Karate chop the old man.

>>34317678

Prepare a crane dish to the old man.

>>34317545
Yes! Old kung fu men derive their power nearly entirely from flashbacks of their younger days and how much their foes underestimate them. Everyone knows you should never say things like;

"what are you going to do old man?"

"You're useless"

Or "What? fight a pathetic old man?" etc

>>34317678
This guy's mixed messages are quite confusing, but obviously he is warning about the potency of a toad's poison, a sure warning that all his power lies in defense and counter attack. Answer in a similarly cryptic fashion like "AhA!, But does the toad know about the beak of the crane and how both never touch the toad's skin whilst staying away from its tongue."

>>34317738
I thought it was a jab at the wart we developed down there after that terrible mistake we made the other night with that lady

>>34317775
Indeed, it is some terrible riddle without which we are powerless against him. So says karateman law.

>>34317775
that was no mistake

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>>34317710
Karatemen are only allowed to wander. And they hate cranes.

>>34317734
>>34317738
You create a hearty crane stew that you offer the old man while answering his nonsense with more vague metaphors.

>The beak may be powerful, but what is power when your mind is closed? The crane only looks down, while the toad gazes up at the sky.

The old man muses between mouthfuls of delicious, piping hot stew.

>>34317812
Check the old man's backpocket while he's occupied with the stew

>>34317812
Kick the bowl full of stew into his face! Scald the old bastard while he's distracted!

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>>34317864
>>34317876
come on guys, respect your elders especially if they are old Karatemen.

Just wait till he's finished and ask if he want to duel

>>34317902
Get lost nerd

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>>34317864
You check the old man's back pocket. You find some loose change, a grocery list, an unmarked pill and two phials of Ancient Chinese Wisdom.

>>34317935
Shove the pill down his throat.

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>>34317935
Damn, that is some bootiful butt he's got there.

>>34317961
In before hulk power pill

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>>34317961
You force-feed the Old Man the pill. He pops a boner.

This is all very awkward.

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>>34318051
With his bad blood circulation and so much blood centered on that spot, surely he collapses and is K.O

>>34318051
Sooo... How about that fight, huh?

>>34318092
You don't expect us to hit him, do you?

>>34318051

>My sides...!

Awkwardly waiting for his reaction...

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>So, you're just going to leave an old man hanging like a plum above a field full of weasels?

>>34318204
Fuck it. Tear his head off and shit in his throat.

>>34318204
Kick him so hard in the dick that it retreats back into his pelvis and he is legally declared female.

>>34318274

Yes, kick on his dick!

>>34318236
>>34318274
>>34318301
>/tg/ loses his patience.

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>>34318301
>>34318274
You kick him right between the legs and feel his brittle old man bones shatter from the force on the blow. He moans pathetically but stays standing by leaning on your shoulder.

>>34318348
OP was clearing aiming for that with that close up on that punchable smiling face and another shitty 2 cent "ancient chinese saying"

>>34318382

GETHIMOFFGETHIMOFFGETHIMOFF!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SJC62JKDzU

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>>34318433
Since you've already killed an innocent bird and crushed an old man's pelvis, what's a bit more violence going to hurt?

Oh...

Oh...

Well, you win. I guess,

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>>34318543
Aren't we heroic...

>>34318543

Raise your bloody fist in the air!

>>34318543
Shouldn't have signed to the tournament then. Should have surrendered when he could.

Paint your face with his blood.

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>>34318543
Strike a pose

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>>34318602
>>34318646
You raise your hand in... Triumph?

Your victory earns you yet another level.

>+1 Karate
>+3 Cooking
>+7 Shame
>-98 Boner

>>34318709
Karate. You can now call on a falcon to literally punch someone into next Tuesday.

>>34318709
Do a little dance.

It's like the first goddamn level of punch out.

>>34318872
>99 consecutive losses.

That old man had some moral, can't deny that.

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>>34318748
A quick consultation with your character sheet shows you that you don't actually practice the Predatory Bird Style. But your Punch has gone up by a full 8 points, so that's pretty cool!

>>34318906

>Turn A Gundam...
>Not Shining Gundam...

>>34318906
Can't we purchase a DLC to get flaming fists? Also a new hat.

>>34318906
BACK THE FUCK UP

Examine the Turn A stat!

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>>34318951
>>34318972
You didn't understand most of the stats, so you just wrote down stuff you liked. Turns out it will define you as a character, so Turn A Gundam is now an integral part of your essence.

>>34318964
Next patch. It will also nerf Blue Kick's crouching light kick.

>>34319089
Do a little dance.

>>34319089
Pause and save the game

>>34319089
CALL IN THE NEXT CONTENDER

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>>34319109
You walk like an Egyptian to celebrate your victory.

>>34319153
Wao!

nao fite maor!

>>34319153
hit on the cute Karate chick in the corner

>>34319153
That's very racist and stereotypical of ancient Egyptians. You're going to offend someone.

>>34319153
We're acting kind of like a dick considering we just punched through an old guy's head.

>>34319089
>Turn A Gundam is now an integral part of your essence.
>One of the most, if not the most, powerful Gundams is now a part of who we are

HO
LEE
SHIIIIIT

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>>34319134
You save your game in the empty slot. It's important to rotate your saves in case you encounter a progression blocker.

>>34319197
Clearly our next foe

Quick question: is our Karateman Nothin' ta Fuck wit?

>>34319252
Not yet, a good fighter could fuck with him

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>>34319186
You try to hit on the cute karate chick. Unfortunately, you haven't washed your hand. And she has to wash her hair. And you smell bad.

>-14 Game

>>34319351
Work on leveling up our Game.

>>34319351

Take ICE COLD shower like a proper man.

>>34319386
Take an ice shower.

>>34319386
Get a block of ice, put it in a bucket then break the ice block like we were taught to. Then shower in the ice bits.

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>>34319386
You take an ICE COLD shower.

>+11 Cool

>>34319373
You have seven days until the next tournament round. Do you want to spend it upping your Game?

>>34319465
UP DAT GAME SON!

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>>34319474
Luckily for you, the arena has its own Game Coach.

>So you want to get game? Well, the way I see it, you're just a B+ player. Your first task is to figure out what The Game is all about about.

>>34319567
Screech "I lost the game" at the top of your goddamn stick figure lungs.

>>34319567
Find a mountain top and ponder such a thing while staring at a goat.

>>34319567
All about control and if you can take it.
All about your debt and if you can pay it.
It's all about pain and who's gonna make it.

>>34319567
"It's not about who you are or how others see you, its about what's inside. Your game is only as strong as will of the gamer."

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>>34319582
>>34319587
You spend a long time pondering the nature of the Game with a gruff but lovable goat you name Mr. Horny, before you come to the insight that it is indeed all about the Game and how you play it.

>>34319710
I am the game, you don't wanna play me.
I am control, no way you can change me.
I am heavy debt, no way you can pay me.
I am the pain and I know you can't take me.

Now return to the tournament and face your next opponent.

>>34319710
Bring Mr Horny as a mascot

>>34319710
Find another bandanna for Mr. Horny and teach him simple kung fu moves. Even a goat must learn self-defense in these troubling times.

>>34319765
I heard tell of a ruffian who punched an old man to death.

>>34319792
If some knave can do that to a poor old man, goodness knows what they would do to a goat!

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>>34319734
Your Game levels are higher than they've ever been. You feel at one with the dude-niverse. Also, Mr. Horny admires your dedication and decides to share some of his noble mountain goat spirit with you.

>Fist of the North Goat Acquired.

>>34319842
Time we goat back to the competition

>>34319842
Test your newfound skill against the next opponent's face.

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>>34319765
>>34319746
You spend the rest of the time before the next round teaching Mr. Horny the fundamentals of karatemandom. His innate wisdom let's him use these basics to develop his own unique Green Goat style of karate.

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>>34319917
Shake his hoof and promise together to face each other in the finals. Then go face the next opponent

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>>34319917
Fuckin' A, Professor Sensei would be proud.

>>34319964
Not teaming up to take down the reigning champion twins?

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>>34319964
>>34319875
>>34319880
As you return to the tournament, you encounter An Arrogant Douchebag and His Dick-Ass Turtle.

>Green Goat Style, huh? It's puny baby style karate compared to the Yellow Turtle Style. I've already progressed to the finals by kicking so awesomely that all my opponents forfeited. Smell ya later, dweebs!

>>34320010
Chuck a rock in the back of the turtles head.

>>34320010
Goddammit, that means there's about three more turtles who went to ninja college around here.

>>34320010
Clench your fist and have a dramatic internal monologue about your long-standing grudge against A. Douchebag and D. A. Turtle

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>>34320010
Gary Oak eat your heart out.

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>>34320040
One day.

One day.

>>34320107
Goat to our next fight swiftly

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>>34320186
You proceed to your next fight.

>Ladies and gentlemen, our next battle will be a doozy! In the right corner, the killer of animals and old men, Karateman! And in the left corner, the really offensive stereotype, Japanese black man!

The big black man towers over you, clearly displaying the muscles of a black man that move like a black man, something no Japanese man can hope to match.

>Konnichiwa, dawg!

He says, displaying a mouth full of gold and diamond encrusted teeth.

>>34320282
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KODo-qsBoIE

>>34320282
Flex off commence!

>>34320282
Stay cool and uncaring while he flexes muscles..

>>34320282
Rap the entirety of "High Roller" and see what his reaction is

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>>34320349
You have way too much game to be disturbed by such a petty trick. Amount of fuck's given: 0.

>Hey yo! Konnoyarou! I'll bust a kappu in yo' assu! Nyan-nyan muthafucka!

>>34320659
His power comes from his afro. Shave it with you karate chops!

>>34320659
Raise an eyebrow, bring it playa'. Show me what 'choo got.

Then horizontal chop his 'fro with a karate chop.

>>34320659
Do that neo hand move "come at me" while still crossing your arms.

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>>34320692
>>34320707
His Japanese is sloppy
His rhymes are wack
You get a bit choppy
And cut his afro with your attack

>>34320771
Now watch as he gets angry and comes at you while screaming YOU WON'T SHOOT ME YOU WON'T SHOOT ME

>>34320794
The time has come to show him the might of our 'Couching Ghetto, Hidden Nigga' Style.

>>34320282
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFUMv0FQb4

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>>34320794
>Aww, kuso dawg! You dun' fakku my do up!

So, this is the kick of a black man? It's a kick no Japanese man could ever hope to copy.

>>34320771
Smash a watermelon and a bucket of fried chicken to demoralize him.

>>34320889
Grab his leg and throw him into a convenient pool of water negating his black powers

>>34320889
>>34320902
I still think this is an appropriate action.

>>34320889
Now, ain't the time to pull punches, straight up chop dat guy.

>>34320889
Take the gun in his backpocket. Hold it sideways. Then remove all bullets inside because you're badass and only follow the laws of karate.

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>>34320902
He's Japanese. Smashing watermelons will just make him think of the beach.

>>34320945
You reach for his back pocket, but all you find is a leather wallet with bad motherfucker written on it. No guns in Japan. Besides, he seems like an honorable, if really offensively racist, fella.

>>34321067
And he has a nice ass. Slap dat ass.

>>34321067
Challenge him to a disco dance off!

>>34321080
Why do our opponents all have fiendishly nice asses. Stop it, stop making me look!

>>34321132
Practicing martial arts does wonders for toning your backside, don'tchaknow.

>Someone casually mentions racist stereotypes offending our next opponent
>Next opponent is a racist stereotype
>Recurring DAT ASS motif
>Constant wrestling references
This has to be the most consistent batshit gonzo quest I've ever seen. I mean, foreshadowing? How?

>>34321132
Plastic ass surgery culture in this land.

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>>34321117
>Aight, I accept!

So these are the dance moves of a black man? Truly moves no Japanese man could hope to bust.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>34321308
Jive that fine African Asian into the next millenium

Chop him while he's down on his back doing breakdance!

>>34321132
The key to a powerful heart is a powerful ass.

>>34321344
No that is Dishonorable!

>>34321308
We're gonna need a boost to match that. Put his cut afro on your head and then show your moves.

>>34321308
Our game is strong. We can't let this...this...JAIBU TAAKI outshine us.

Summon the spirit of the Fist of the North Goat to bust a sick move.

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>>34321333
>>34321369
You summon the power of the noblest of all creatures, the mountain goat. Only one dance can properly convey the nobility of your spirit. A dance from the frozen north. The dance of the people, with a twist.

You call it Cossack Fuzion.

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>>34321476
Comrade I am proud

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>>34321476
The entire arena is awestruck by your performance. Women and children are crying. Men are calling their fathers to tell them they love them. For one shining moment, there is peace in our time. There can be no question of who the winner is.

Japanese Black Man raises his hand.

>We coo'... Aniki.

So this is the acceptance of a black man? Truly an acceptance no Japanese man can hope to match.

>Level up
>+5 Movez
>+3 Street Credit
>+2 Honor
>-11 Jive

>>34321611
We shall become the greatest Karatedancerman of all time.
If a black man can accept us then we know it can be done

>>34321611
Time to save the game

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On a nearby hill, a mysterious figure cloaked in black is observing the heroic karateman below.

>Yes, celebrate while you can. There is a time to sow and a time to reap, and I am the reaper. You shall answer for your crimes against us. You shall answer to... The Mecha-Ninja!

To be continued...

>>34321801
Is it the son? Or is it the Father?

>>34321801
Oh shit.

As a bit of a post-show, I'm willing to answer any lore question. The universe of PDKQ is very deep, with centuries of history and political shifts, so I'll do my best to get you all immersed in the rich narrative.

>>34321885
We know about red punch and blue kick styles... Are there any black or white styles?

>>34321885
Did time travelling vampire hunter Abraham Lincoln prevent the WWIII in this universe?

>>34321964
Clearly the black man was a master of the way of white, a rather Ironic path

>>34321885
Who are the mech ninjas? Are the karate clans common or rare? What about ninjas? Why does everyone seem to have war pets suddenly? How do you provide for yourself? Don't you need to eat and sleep somewhere? When was the last major war in the land?

>>34321964
There are many different styles, especially if you count the variations between them. Northern Red Punch involves more red than punch, while Southern Red Punch is a bit heavier on the Punch than the Red side. There is also Violet Headbutt, Orange Elbow, and Pink Crotch-Smash (which made a brief cameo with the Cure Karategirl), just to name a few.

>>34321973
He doesn't really prevent it. See, in order to handle the paradox that would ensue if the future was altered, Vampire Hunter Abraham Lincoln gets chased by the only man who can stop him and prevent Armageddon, Nanomachine Werewolf John Wilkes Booth. The result is a stable time loop that has them fight an epic battle across all possible timelines.

>>34319567
>B+ player
>game
>sledge hammer

>>34317369
>Stick hart

Obviously we are in the most awesome realm ever.
We need to suplex our way to victory.

>>34321801
Sweep the leg, than apply the legendary figure 8 leg lock.

>>34322109
Sweep the leg, than apply the legendary figure 8 leg lock
Either that or the legendary throw a bucket of water at him.

>>34322021
The Mecha-Ninja is a secret for now. There is no such thing as a Karate Clan, there are college classes in professional karate, though. All martial arts are derived from animals (as seen with the Fist of the North Goat), so it is common for a martial artist to have a spiritual animal guide. I provide for myself by sucking coins out of the love testing machine. Sleep and food is for people who have loved ones. The last major war was the war of the Ruffled Heron, which is why karatemen hate aquatic birds. It will play into the history of our mysterious karateman and his quest at some point.

>>34322153
Archived it for you OP

>>34322109
We'd have to beat the man who uses the figure 8 before we can actually do the figure 8, right?

>>34322153
Thought they were like Sub Zero's clan in Mortal Kombat when they were all forced to become cybran ninjas.

>>34322210
No no, if we want to BE the man we have to beat the man. We are just jacking some of his moves. Possibly his name... we be Stic Flair now WOOOOO

>>34322339
>+5 to Stylin
>+5 to profilin
>+5 to jet plane ridin

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>>34322339
That was literally who you were going to face next. So fuck you. He even had a backstory and everything. A jetset playboy experiences a horrible plane crash, but is saved by a heroic flounder, who dies in the process. To honor his savior, the man decides to flop around like an idiot and bleed everywhere.

>>34322478
I... I think I'm in love with you...

>>34322478
Righteous.