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Basic question I know, but it’s been a while and I don’t hold you personally responsible to remember all the nitty gritty details of some amatuer QM’s main character. You are playing as Ivan Parkas Kostov, a quarter Russian merc of otherwise unspecified descent. Your name reeks of misery and potatoes.

Your combat specialty is Melee work with your beloved Tomahawk-tan. You are also nominally skilled with handguns - both pistols and SMGs - assault rifles, and shotguns to a limited extent. Your non-combat proficiency is “tech” which is basically mechanical shit, repairing armor, equipment, vehicles, and other related doodads. Tech also rolls over to vehicle operation and anti-armor combat skills. You also have something called Grit Mode, which is a berserker state you have a chance of entering if significantly injured.

Occasionally pear shaped Aliums will contact you in your sleep.

You have recently gotten out of debt, which was a big deal for a lot of players.

Personal Details
>Jovial personality, honest with people, generally supportive of your friends
>Have some difficulty admitting you’re wrong, somewhat oblivious
>You were born on one of NepCol’s planetary holdings, where you worked as a combat engineer
>You have a mother and father, both are alive and well although you are distant from both of them

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>Elda Acerbi
She’s like this italian sniper chick who seems bipolar as fuck but that’s mostly because I’m bad at writing her. Alternates between liking you and being a bit of a bitch. She’s secretive about her past, and there’s been some speculation among players that she has a connection to the SPEHSS MAFIA.

>Darius Somethingorother
He’s one of the most senior mercs and generally acts as a father figure towards the younger mercs. Highly skilled at just about everything, he often goes on mentoring drops with rookies. He also likes pranking rookies too, and at one point convinced you that you were going to be fired.

>Svenja Weiss
Your HR advisor/representative. She hooks you up with missions and job benefits and generally takes care of all the paperwork shit that mercing in the corprofuture entails. She’s rather pacifistic and probably has some moral qualms with your work, especially if you’re the sort to get your hands dirty. Yes, you’ve banged. No, there’s no pastebinned smut.

>Niels Becker
A merc with far more skill at hacking and programming than the bloodier side of his work. Although generally hapless in the field, his technical skills and planning ability are invaluable. He spearheaded Operation Capital Shock, which will in the long term make you very rich. A skilled cook, he’s a friendly sort if a teeny tiny bit judgmental.

>Valkyrie
Impulsive, aggressive, supremely skilled, hypersexual, and lacking a sense of self preservation, StrikeOut’s decision to give her a heavy machine gun was either a stroke of brilliance or the result of a stroke. Time would reveal it was more the former. A freewheeling merc who will protect her comrades of the moment at the risk of her own life. Yes, she’s banged you. Yes there is a pastebin of it. No, I don’t have the link.

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>Markos Ruiz
Perpetually douchey, cocky, and obnoxious, Markos is a fratboy given medical credentials and a gun. Well, not the medical credentials bit. He was kicked out just before getting his MD for possessing illicit substances. Luckily for him, StrikeOut cares more about skills than diplomas and he landed a job a merc.

>Simge Atlar
Another lady sniper. You mostly have interacted with her “Vix” persona on Merc Idol Reality TV, where she plays a disturbed mental patient. Extremely friendly and cheerful.

>The Millenium Man
The mysterious head of StrikeOut. No mercs aside from the Tin Man have ever seen him in the flesh, he mostly interacts with the outside world through a remotely controlled android. There are legends about him, but few known facts. Those that did know him don’t often speak about him.

>Sotiris Vokos
The SEO (Supreme Executive Officer) of NeoLogos, and a close friend of the Millenium Man. He does make personal appearances from time to time, although you’ve never personally spoken to him.

>Fruity
The Pear Shaped Alium you exclusively interact with. It’s attempts to communicate with you are hampered somewhat by the fact that it’s a goddamn alien. Seems to have something important to say but we’re not sure what yet. Otherwise seems well meaning if a bit odd. Opposed to The-One-Which-Consumes (might be wrong on that).

>Bob
Barkeep.

>The Armorer
Has a name, I forgot it. Ex-merc and very bloody minded.

IIIIT'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

Dude, it's fucking great to see you again.

>>34579823
FUCK YEAH

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>DAQ

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>Clayton Burnside
SPEHSS AUSSIE. Skilled at squad leadership and has dropped with you several times in the past. Has a family on New New South Wales where he uses asteroid mining det cores to go blast fishing. Has an openly hostile attitude to the natural world and a stencilled Koala on his shoulder as an icon.

>Dreads
Died ;_;

>Tsukino Noriko
A quiet and polite girl who is prone to blushing and chopping people up with her SPEHSS KATANA. Your fellow CQC specialist in this batch of rookies, she’s more focussed on stealth as compared to your louder approach. Niels has waifued her hard.

>Himawari Force
Three Japanese Merc-Idols you defeated and then recruited. One of them has big boobies, which has made her a favorite of both in quest characters and some of my readers.

>Dr. Tran
Apparently shares his name with a youtube cartoon character. Also died ;_;

>>34579898
Dear Fall Guy, I feel like my wielder recently lost all interest in me. He doesn't even look at me anymore, he just spend all day in that big suit of mecha armor.

-A concerned tomahawk

>>34579954
Welcome back Fall!

>StrikeOut
The Merc company you work for. It has close ties to NeoLogos Inc. Although not officially a subsidiary of NeoLogos, everyone knows where it’s loyalties lie. Based on the Brick, an asteroid in the Hyperion System, which NeoLogos owns. I tried to design a logo for StrikeOut, but it looked like shit so I’m opening that particular activity up to my players, should they be interested.

>NeoLogos
One of the Biggest Ultra-Corps, owns almost all of the the Hyperion System. Based on the planet Atlas, an Earth-like planet and one of the primo colony worlds. Primarily focussed on neuroware and biological to cybernetic interfaces.

>Quantum Electro-Dynamics Incorporated
The Corp that owns Earth and large swathes of the the Sol System. Does a lot of higher physics work, runs the wormhole data net that connects almost all human worlds onto one galaxy spanning internet. Sole manufacturer of Ship borne wormhole generators, which allow ships to travel interstellar distances in a timely manner, as well as some other technological marvels

>Wormholes
What it says on the tin. The energy required to maintain a wormhole increases based on the size of the wormhole, the number of ambient gravitons, and several other factors. This basically means that we can have small wormholes constantly open on all planets to allow the transfer of data between worlds, but anything material must be transported by spaceship.

>Limited Liability Solutions
Basically a front organization for a variety of criminal groups. Prone to infighting, definitely not a unified front. You have dropped against them at least once now.

>>34579906
>>34579912
>>34579951
>>34579965
Hey everybody, great to be back. Unfortunately I'm a lazy bastard and what I've jsut dumped is all I had prepared prior to starting up the thread. I'll be working on a mission summary for you guys, so feel free to ask for more info while I write that up.

>>34579963
You're a beautiful tomahawk who don't need no merc.

>>34580058
>Unfortunately I'm a lazy bastard and what I've jsut dumped is all I had prepared prior to starting up the thread. I'll be working on a mission summary for you guys, so feel free to ask for more info while I write that up.
Who cares about missions? How are the Himawari Force's tits right now?

>>34580110
fantastic question anon

I hope we get involved in personally training them very soon with some intense training courses

>>34580110
The manage to be large yet also perky.

>>34580163
Be honest, did we train them already in CQC?

If you know what I mean.

I really mean combat.

>>34580184
No, not yet. Quest stopped just before you landed on Atlas.

>>34580184
no anon, sadly we haven't had the chance and Valkyrie beat us to spending some time with thundertits

which we are going to rectify soon

Is this the quest thing where in one episode we crashed a helicopter in a bulding for some reason or another and can't remember more of it?

>>34580250
uhh wut

>>34580209
>>34580201
Then my vote would go to becoming a teacher on Atlas and train the thunder tits force.

Also, buy a tweed blazer with elbow pads of another color.

>>34580283
I don't know.
Might be confusing this with a series of one shots or something

>Operation Ordinary Rendition
Your first drop, and one of your more successful ones. You got bumped up a pay grade for your performance and kidnapped some Japanese scientists.

>Operation Shattered Moon
Another resounding success, you managed to save dozens of asteroid miners held hostage by the nefarious Limited Liability Solutions, a front organization for organized crime on Earth. You also managed to kill the legendary Jamaican Giant Dreads with the aid of a fellow rookie, Tsukino Noriko.

>Operation Bitter Prophet
A deeply unsettling mission, and your first brush with failure. Sent down to investigate a gene therapy clinic that had gone silent, your squad found a horrific scene of slaughter. The staff dead and the patients horribly mutated, the mission cost you many nights of sleep and an arm. Your squad decided to retreat before they could discover how the clinic came to such a grim fate.

>Operation Idol Bashers
Suggested by your well intentioned HR Advisor, Svenja Weiss, this drop was a light and easy battle against the theatric, but ultimately ineffectual, merc-idols of the SpaceHeart*Love Mil-Pop TV show. You have yet to receive your earnings for the mission, but you managed to snag three defeated merc-idols, the Himawari Force, for Basic Training as StrikeOut mercs.

>>34580299
Anon, when we recruited them, we said we'd give them some private tuition and personally instruct them in a CQC course, so we're already scheduled to help train them.

In more ways than one

>Operation Capital Shock
A mission proposed by Niels as an opportunity to hack into a local stock exchange to play the market. The mission was a huge and honestly unexpected, success, no one died or was seriously mangled, the hack was successful, you filled all of the contractor’s mission objectives, and you came out of it with a BART (Bipedal Armored Response Tank) to call your own.

>Operation Sour Oracle
A continuation of the Bitter Prophet line of missions, you’re job was to capture the scientist you believe was responsible for the events of Bitter Prophet. You were successful in that regard and managed to ship Killdozer-sempai with Forklift-chan in the process. Although you have yet to hear the results of the interrogation/investigation you have high hopes for a successful resolution.

So, are we mostly just focused on the Himawari Force right now? If so I'll dump a few text posts so we can orient ourselves and then get writing. Again, if you have any questions involving the Quest, please feel free to ask.

>>34580445
yes, We want thundertits.

>>34580445
No need to rush into things FG, I'm just glad you're back, I can wait for Himewari Force

>>34580356
>managed to ship Killdozer-sempai with Forklift-chan in the process.
You mean they're with us on the ship?

>>34580491
Ship more in the fandom-y sense of the word.

>>34580445
They would be a great way to get back into things. Relevant and lighthearted.

>>34580502
ah, okay then.

>>34580491
no anon, they are on their honeymoon

>>34580445
I've no idea what you've planned for this thread but I don't mind

>>34580491
He means to tell they are joined in their eternal rest.

>>34580530
Or maybe they have been seized and then sold to a better warehouse that will accomodate their love.

>>34579823
DAQ is back! fuck yeah!
>>34579963
poor tomahawk-chan, we love you really.
>>34580445
yeah, Himawari force are funny

>>34579875
>no, there's no pastebinned smut.

fukkin dropped, Fallguy! I HAD HIGH HOPES FOR YOU!

Good to see you back man, you've been sorely missed.

>>34580250
Um, maybe? It certainly sounds like either something we'd do, or something that has been been done to us. Maybe during that Idol Show we were on?

>>34580356
I'm glad Killdozer sempai and Forklift-chan worked things out; things kind of came to head that season, with Killdozer taking the initiative and Forklift chan accepting Dozer-san's proposal

>>34580578
Yeah, and in that warehouse they'll raise little Tonka Truck Killdozers and Forklifts. It'll be great

“Welcome to flight 2369, service to Myrmekion. The Captain will be undocking momentarily, and we request that you strap into your G-harness. Please seal all drinks, and remember, for those prone to lo-G sickness, there are regurgitation tubes available upon command.”

This is the final leg in your journey down to Atlas to help train the new batch of rookies, the former Himawari force being part of that group. You initially took a shuttle off of the Brick which dropped you off at Icarus Station, the gateway between Atlas and the rest of the universe. The station is designed to serve a hub for both good and people. Freight elevators bind the station into orbital lock with the planet, leading to a constant eclipse over the Enkaymatan Wastes. You won’t be taking a freight elevator down to Atlas however. No, your destination is on the far side of the planet, the city of Myrmekion, where Camp Bradsfordshirewoodsburg is located at the outskirts. And to get there you get to ride in the lap of (relative) luxury, a Maxis CH-780 Spaceplane.

Your head turns involuntarily to follow the sway of the stewardess’ bootay as she walks down the shuttle, helping people, children mostly, strap into their G-harnesses for take off. Yes, despite your penchant for nausea when placed in cryo, you’re very resistant to lo-G sickness, which is quite the blessing. Nothing more annoying than having to clean up vomit when it can float around your head. Leaning back in your seat, you glance over at the persona sitting next to you. Seems to be a middle aged woman of some flavor, and she’s nailing you with the stink eye. Wondering what the shit her problem is, you close your eyes and plug up your ears. Even if you aren’t bothered by the transition out of the Gart Field, you are bothered by the sound of people gagging.

As you close your eyes and enter your Ivan Zen State, which is rather different than Grit Mode as you’ve come to think of it. Instead you just close your eyes and let time and space pass you by. You do eventually rouse yourself to watch atmospheric entry. That’s always cool. The flaming contrails whip past your window as the blue and green ball grows larger, eventually transitioning from sphere to landscape. You squint a little, trying to pick out the training facility StrikeOut operates on Atlas. It’s kind of hard, both due to the distance and the furiously red contrails obscuring your vision. You can hear irritated sniffing from your middle aged compatriot. The spaceplane jostles a bit as it encounters some turbulence. You can almost feel your fellow passenger tense up beside you, her hands wrapping tight around her restraints.

“Would you kindly quit gawking? Are you some stroid-bound yokel with no understanding of etiquette? Don’t you know it’s rude to leave your viewscreen open, or do you intend to ogle Atlas like you did our flight attendant?”

The sheer condensation in that last question catches your attention and you turn your head slowly to face your middle aged seat mate. Her expression of righteous indignation is ruined by the evident undercurrent of nerves, her hands clamped around her harness.

>How do you respond?
>ignore
>comply and “shut the window”
>retort

>>34581043
Ready like you wouldn't fuckin believe.

Good to see you back from workin' fo da man, Fall Guy. You rollin n dat green, now?

>>34581061
>How do you respond?
"Don't you know its rude to be a condescending hag, and yes I do intent to ogle the planet, gods above know there aren't any windows on drop pods."

>>34581061
>>retort
How is that bothering you ma'am? Make your case.

>>34581061
>retort
Sorry, ma'am. It's just that keeping my eyes on the outside keeps my stomach settled. I've got a bad case of low g sickness you see, and if I (hurk) EXCUSE ME (BLAUGH)!!!

>>34581061
seconding >>34581116

>>34581061
>Retort
>"No ma'am, I think I'll continue to gawk if you don't mind. Not that I care if you do mind, but it is proper etiquette to ask."

>>34581061
"I'm sorry ma'am. Usually when I go through reentry I'm on my way to kill some people, so I thought I'd enjoy it without the blood and screaming for once. Does it bother you?"

>>34581181
This so much.

Maybe if she moves, we could get the entire row to ourselves!

>>34581061
>Retort

I'm sorry ma'am, I'll ogle you instead if you'd like.

>>34581061
>retort

"I'm sorry, but I hope you don't mind if I leave the screen open a bit longer, orbital assault drop pods don't usually have windows."

Oh man, so many good writeins! I don't know what to pick, guys!

>>34581209
>>34581235
These, oh god these.

>>34581061
I like this >>34581209

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>Wonder when fall guy would return, only remember it being this month.
>Open /tg/ see Deniable Assets.
>MFW

>>34581061
Also seconding >>34581125

>>34581263
bookmark his twitter anon

>>34581209
>>34581235
>>34581220
These, I think. It just feels very Ivan to hit on the middle aged lady

>>34581281
>It just feels very Ivan to hit on the middle aged lady
this bint? nah fuck that, Ivan has taste, and already has his sights set on other targets

>>34581209
>>34581220
Direct our ogle phasers to stun, gentlemen

>>34581061

These:
>>34581209
>>34581235

But afterwards try to talk her through her apparent fear of dying in a fiery ball of failed re-entry.

>>34581275
But then there wouldn't be any surprise in the world.
Unless we finally get a nat30, I got a 29 once while channeling Thor but it's just not the same.

>>34581303
Didn't Ivan hit on the armorer? The middle aged, not very attractive looking armorer? Ivan's got taste, yes, but he seems like the kind of guy to flirt because it's fun or humorous

>>34581303
At this point I think it's less Ivan seriously hitting on women and more a mix of his sense of humor and general persona.

>>34581303
I'd say it's very Ivan to pretend to hit on the middle aged lady.

Not to actually want to bang her but be funny or disarming.

Like this guy said >>34581331

>>34581331
>Didn't Ivan hit on the armorer?
Nope, more friendly ribbing and jokes

>>34581331
No, he didn't, and she's past middle age, like, way past it.

>>34581317
Well, we could always roll another nat3...

>>34581235
>>34581209
Alright, mixing these two up.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I hope you don't mind if I leave the screen open a bit longer, orbital assault drop pods don't usually have windows."

wait a beat

"I thought I'd enjoy reentry without the blood and screaming for once. Does it bother you?"

How 'bout that?

>slut quest is back
Fuck off

>>34581331
No we didn't.

>>34581380
fucking sweet

>>34581380
Maybe fake flirt a bit, but yeah.

>>34581380
>How 'bout that?
Sounds good, no need for flirting, our friends get that, and also people who deserve it, this bitch doesn't get that.

>>34581380
Good enough

>>34581331
>Hit on

If you classify throwing a shelf at a woman after hitting her with replica weapons then sure, Ivan hit on her.

>>34581380
Try to flirt with her to see her reaction

>>34581380
That's good. Don't forget to look her in the eyes directly for a little too long to make her reconsider annoying us.

>>34581209
>>34581235
Yeah son

>>34581403
>>34581426
Fuck off with this shit, its grossly out of character and stupid.

>>34581425
Granted, that's also how we got Valk into us, so fighting could be said to be flirting.

>>34581446
How about I think it's not, you think it is, we vote how we want and it comes out how it comes out ok?

>>34581475
We're clearly surrounded by Klingon's with a really good bluff skill.

>>34581446
What no it isn't, Ivan totally seems the type to fake flirt to get a rise or compliment someone

>>34581529
To people he knows and friends and colleges, not some random snobby bitch on the shuttle

>>34581529
I think at this point it'd mostly be to distract her from the whole fear of dying thing. Admittedly that's probably a bad tactic to use at the moment, especially if we leave our window open.


>inb4 she asks us to switch to our e-glasses so we can watch rentry without freaking her the hell out.
There is a non-asshole option guys.

>>34581583
>There is a non-asshole option guys.
And she didn't take it.

>>34581596
Nailed it

>>34581380

sounds good.

also, voting against flirting. just in case we are legitimately considering that...

Bunch of white knight and pure fags getting ready to shit up the quest, it seems.

>>34581630
Ivan is far from being close to either of those two things anon

>>34581630
There's a difference between not wanting to bone a middle aged lady and being a purefag.

>>34581630
So not obsessively flirting with some random bitch sticking her nose in our business and being a snob is whiteknighting and being a purefag...

>>34581630
White Knight? Maybe.

Purefag? Noooooo... Especially when we corrupted Svenja's desk to the point where she can't marry a good man-desk.

>>34581745
>Especially when we corrupted Svenja's desk to the point where she can't marry a good man-desk.
Think of all the furniture we've ruined for marriage with Valkyrie...

>>34581698
>>34581722
I personally took it as Ivan being more of a smartass towards the lady than any real flirting, which I find completely in character.

But to each their own.

You reach up and scratch your chin languidly. “I’m sorry ma’am, but I hope you don't mind if I leave the screen open a bit longer, orbital assault drop pods don't usually have windows."

You note with some pleasure that your stern seatmate’s face goes even more pale at the mention of orbital assault drop pods. She mouths wordlessly as the corners of your mouth pull up into a slight yet predatory smile. “I thought I might enjoy reentry without the blood and screaming for once. Does it bother you?”

Watching in fascination as your seatmate deflates, the attitude scared right out of her, you grin a little more before shutting down the viewscreen and putting in some earbuds. Honestly, things were getting a little too bright.

The rest of the flight down to Myrmekion passes by uneventfully, although your seatmate does take a good deal of caution to avoid bumping your duffle bag as you pull it down from overhead storage. You pass through the terminal, bypassing security lines and queues with a simple flash of your identcard. People watch your passage with the curiosity of the idle.

After a while you find yourself out of the terminal, where an automated automobile is waiting to pick you up. Clambering into the vehicle, you kick back and relax as it accelerates gracefully out of the airport and towards Camp Bradswoodsburgshireford. A file appears in the corner of your e-glasses. You scroll over it. A dossier of the rookies you’ll be training.

>Do you
>Open and read it
>ignore and nap until you arrive at Camp Fordsbradshirewoodsburg

>>><<<

Sorry about the slow posting speed here guys, still trying to get back into the swing of things.

>>34581796
>Open and read it

>>34581796
>Sorry about the slow posting speed here guys, still trying to get back into the swing of things.
no probs dude, slow posting is better than no posting

>Open and read it

>>34581796
>>Open and read it
Bradswoodsburgshireford
That's quite a mouthfull to say.

>>34581796
>Open and read it

Don't worry about the speed. Do what you gotta do

I'm just so happy you're back

>>34581796
>>Open and read it

>>34581796
>Bradsfordshirewoodsburg
>Bradswoodsburgshireford.
hmmm

>>34581796
>Open and read it
>Take a note of potential troublemakers and dumb asses. Only we can be a wild card.

Might as well see what we're in for

>>34581796
>Open and read it

Whatever else we are, Ivan is a professional.

>>34581796
>Bradsfordshirewoodsburg
>Bradswoodsburgshireford.
>Fordsbradshirewoodsburg
Hmmm

>>34581796
>Open and read it

Also, can we get a report card on Chisaki, Miyuki, and Hikaru, if I recall? We need to see what they need to improve on.

>>34581868
Does Thunder-tits count as a dumb-ass since she signed up for this woefully unprepared or is it just adorable?

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>>34581796
Read the FUCK out of that file. After openning the FUCK out of it.

>>34581890
>woefully unprepared
For the kind of missions and drops we go on? Totally, for the many many other roles she and the rest of Himewari Force can fulfill as idol mercs for SO, not so.

I reckon they can get a good job doing lower safer missions, peacekeeping and PR branding missions and such, rather than the kind of wetwork we do.

>>34581763
That's what I thought, but apparently flirting means your seeking consent to insert prong a into slot b

>inb4 'this is tg, what did you expect'

>>34581796
Anyway, >Open and read it'

>>34581796

Open and read it.

Then, when one of the recruits brings attention to themselves, we can call them out by name...
let them know that Yes, we know who they are, and Yes, you cared enough to remember them...

Also, they must learn to properly fear HR, that way, we seem tougher as we get on with our HR rep...

Would using our HART be overkill in training? Cause I think it would liven up the regime once they start to 'get into the groove'
Just imagine the looks on their faces when the scale the wall and end up staring down the primary weapons system of the HART, and the only warning they got was "I've added an extra part to today's obstacle course"...

>>34581906
Guys, at this moment, this became DAQ again. :)

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>>34581938
More likely than not they could be set up as PR images, showing that yes, even drop out Idol-mercs can get the tough jobs and succeed.

Unless they REALLY want the tough jobs. Then we train the FUCK out of them.

That is, after lewding the FUCK out of them.

>>34581887
Yeah, we should check up on that, see what they need to work on.

Hopefully, Thundertits found a gun that was comfortable for her, or at least got a bra that could handle the stress.

Wonder if it could handle some more stress...

>>34581796
>>Open and read it
Find puns and jokes to make with the name of your vict- rookies.

>>34582001
god damn auto-correct...
Mean BART not HART...
I swear, auto-correct will start WWIII... mark my words...

>>34581796
>Open and read it

>>34582008
>drop out
If anything, they are moving up in the world

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>>34582027
>your vict- rookies.

>>34582042
Why do you think megacorps rule the galaxy now, anon? Causing WWIII was the plan when SIRI came to the drawing board.

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>>34582059
Oh no doubt they most certainly are. but they "failed" or rather, were "cut" from the Idol-Merc show.

>>34582098
Oh god. that explains so many things....

>>34582121
I like to think we poached them, and that they were undervalued where they were, and now we can value the shit out of them

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>>34582185
>now we can value the shit out of them
Oh yes, yes we will value the FUCK out of them.

>>34582001
>Would using our HART be overkill in training?

I know what you meant but all I can imagine is Ivan training the rookies by singing "I'll make a merc' outta you

>>34582284
We must write this. Now.

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>>34582284
Oh god please. Let this happen.

Not really, though that'd be hilarious

>>34582284

Holy fuck yes.

>>34582327
Be my guest

Rolled 6, 9, 7 = 22 (3d10)

>>34582284
Rolling for singing skill!

>>34582464
LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

>>34582428
First two verses (with my apologies):

Merc-ing is our business
For a load of cash
We'll get in our drop pods
and go kick - some ass!

You've the biggest tits i've ever met,
but you'll bet before you're through
Missy, I'll make a merc, out of you....

Trained by those before us
A bad-ass soul, within
Freakin massive armor,
And a death's...head grin!

You're here to learn the lore
Of waging war, and you've got a lot to do
Don't worry, I'll make a merc
Out of youuuu....

This could actually become a thing, if you guys contribute edits

Rolled 3, 3, 1 = 7 (3d10)

>>34582464
Rolling Grit check!

>>34582464
Not too shabby.

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>>34582284
Somewhat related

>>34582498
I like it so far

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>>34582498
That's much better than it has any right to be.

>>34582498
Keep going guys? I'll do it if you like...

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>>34582498
>>34582533
Yup. this is the DAQ I know and love.

>>34582501
Anon, you've lost your rolling privilege for tonight, please hand over your dice.

>>34582568
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

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>>34582554
If you continue we will love the FUCK out of you.

>>34582598
Done. It'll be posted sometime in this thread. You may now return to your regularly scheduled mayhem.

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>>34582554

File: Most Excellent.jpg (33 KB, 640x430)

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Rolled 4, 3, 3 = 10 (3d10)

>>34582586

Also you gotta do it man.
Become Based, hero of threads!

Rolled 1, 2, 8 = 11 (3d10)

>>34582586
YES I CAN

Let's see if I can roll another 1,1,1

What are the odds of one of the rookies knowing where we took the melody from? Very low isn't it?
They'd think we came up with that on the spot or something, a few years later you'll heard all the merc in training sing that we running around the base and shit.

>>34582673
Ivan does like old movies...

There's no reason this can't be a thing. Fall Guy. We need it.

>>34582673
Meanwhile the Millennium gets a tear in his eye from nostalgia.

Or his processors inform him that he remembers that song fondly and he files it away in his memory banks.

Rolled 8, 9, 9 = 26 (3d10)

>>34582671
Yeah, hand over the dice please.

>>34582673
That. would be fucking brilliant.

Rolled 5, 10, 9 = 24 (3d10)

>>34582716
NEVER!

>>34582716
>Rolled 8, 9, 9 = 26 (3d10)
GRIT MODO

READ THOSE DOSSIERS WITH GUSTO

>>34582716
Awwwwww... Such a waste...

Rolled 9, 8, 5 = 22 (3d10)

>>34582731
Oh god we'd better stop or we'll use all the good rolls before the nightthread is over.

>>34582716
>>34582731
christ on a stick guys save the rolls

Rolled 5, 6, 8 = 19 (3d10)

>>34582765
>>34582773
No

Also once songanon's done someone that can sing must vocaroo that shit.
Or we have a Deniable Assets questfag's "sing Make a merc out of you"

>>34582731
Diceanon, what did I tell you about rolling responsibly?!

That's it, Mister! You are grounded! No more joyrides in the quest threads!

Songanon here. I post enough I'll make a name. Posting under ASR from here on.

Rolled 2, 1, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 2 = 15 (10d3)

>>34582844
YOU AREN'T MY REAL DAD

File: 1381414533781.gif (85 KB, 500x281)

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Rolled 3, 7, 9 = 19 (3d10)

>>34582833
Okay so we keep going? Sounds good to me lets see if it keeps going down.

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>>34582918

File: This is some dark stuff.jpg (12 KB, 206x210)

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Rolled 9, 10, 7 = 26 (3d10)

>>34582934

File: 1350005393548.jpg (67 KB, 630x623)

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Rolled 10, 6, 10 = 26 (3d10)

>>34582984

File: 1372818332830.gif (226 KB, 250x141)

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Rolled 9, 1, 7 = 17 (3d10)

>>34582984
Oh fuck. we're still getting good rolls.

Gotta keep getting the FUCK out of them.

>>34582984
>26
>>34583017
>26

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

STOP WASTING GRIT MODE

Rolled 7, 5, 7 = 19 (3d10)

>>34582984
>>34583017
Let's keep going and see what happens.

>inb4 someone gets a 3 tens

You decide to check and see who you’ll be training in this batch of rookies. Even Thundertits’ ...thundertits... wouldn’t be worth dealing with another Markos. Besides, it might help to actually know the Himawari Force’s names, rather than just “Glasses Girl”, “Green Hair”, etc.

>Marek Vallbourg “Funky Bunch”
>1.73 m
>Bio
>>Aggression issues, prone to outbursts of (impotent) anger. Frequently claims to be a peacock. Psych evaluation has determined that this is a figurative, not literal statement. Very mission/goal oriented. Good motivator for fellow recruits, possible officer candidate in the future assuming anger management succeeds.
>Primary Training: Assault Rifles, Grenadier

>Chisaki Kweon
You quickly mark her down as “Green Hair” from the Himawari Force
>1.54 m
>Bio
>>Has a strongly competitive personality, and is prone to antagonizing fellow recruits, especially Marek. She is much friendlier to Miyuki and Hikaru, although she does maintain a certain level of competition with the latter. Although boisterous she follows orders to the letter. One of Kostov’s bunch.
>Primary Training: Shotguns, CQC

>Fausto Cardoso
>1.87 m
>Bio
>>Despite being the tallest recruit in this batch, Fausto bucks the trend with his very passive personality. He is frequently a target for Marek’s aggression, although this might be due to his tendency to attempt to moderate disagreements between rookies. A calming influence, but not commanding. Poor leadership potential.
>Primary Training: Heavy Weapons, Vehicle Operation

>Hikaru Sato
Right, the one with blue hair and glasses.
>1.50 m
>Bio
>>Another calm personality, but not calming. Hikaru is very calculating in her approach to combat, but also stern and slightly controlling. She and Marek butt heads on occasion over leadership decisions. Very protective of Miyuki, whom she has a soft spot for. Frequently bosses both Miyuki and Fausto around, due to their compliant personalities. High officer potential. Also one of Ivan’s.
>Primary Training: Sniper Rifles, Scouting, Small Unit Tactics

>Miyuki Kano
Under her name you can see a whole bunch of annotations
>>got some undeniable assets
>>give it five tits outta boobs
>>10/10 would waifu
>>What the shit is waifu
>1.62 m
>Bio
>>Ignoring the twin impediments on her chest Miyuki seems to have a great deal of combat potential once she gets over her skittishness. Another non-imposing personality, she largely does what is demanded of her to the best of her ability. She lacks leadership potential, but has hidden depths. More capable than one might think. One of Ivan’s bunch.
>Primary Training: Heavy weapons, field medic

Well that sorts out that. Seems like you contributed the greater part of this batch of rookies. Maybe you should be a recruiter instead of whoever the hell is responsible for that shit. You’re pretty pleased to see that the Himawari Force has garnered at least neutral to positive attention from trainers. You’d hate to think about the possible hit to your reputation if you set StrikeOut up with a bunch of airheaded morons.

>>34583050

>Frequently claims to be a peacock.

You gotta let him fly!

>>34583050
>One of Kostov’s bunch.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

SUCK IT BITCHES THEIR OURS

You feel the auto decelerate. Checking your e-glasses you see that you have arrived at Camp Fordshirebradsburgwood. You snap your back before clambering out of the car. As the door opens you hear a chorus of voices shout “We salute you, Senior Contractor Kostov!”

Memories of boot camp flashback and you wait for the rookies to complete the now familiar ritual. Once they finish addressing you and introducing themselves, with Thundert- Miyuki bouncing during her salute, the rookies line back up again, waiting for you to speak.

>What do you say?
>No real speech.
>Write in some shit.

>>34583050
I like the sound of Fausto, seems like he might make a good squadmate in the future, also passive Heavy weapon guys are hard to come by

Rolled 6, 2, 9 = 17 (3d10)

>>34583101
Lets assume that Songanon(ASR) has finished and that is our speech?


Otherwise, be a hard-ass and say "Imma train the FUCK out of you. You will enjoy the FUCK out of it, if you don't, get the FUCK out. Any FUCKING questions?"

>>34583101
Uh, at ease I guess.
So how are you all doing?, WHO'S READY TO BECOME BADASS MERC'S?

>>34583101
>Fordshirebradsburgwood
It keeps happening

Rolled 8, 4, 5 = 17 (3d10)

>>34583101
>>What do you say?
Whatever you say, end it with: "Oh and where is the bathroom?"

>>34583101
Have they been doing basic before we showed up? Or is this their first day?

>>34583186
They've been training for a while now.

>>34583173
>Implying it'll stop

Remember guys, you're here to do CQC training.

Rolled 6, 3, 3 = 12 (3d10)

>>34583186
I believe they've been doing basic before we showed up. Else we wouldn't have decent reports about their leadership skills and aptitudes.

>>34583101
Start out relaxed but commanding.

Become a hardass as necessary.


>>34583212
Well, then give a speech about how if any of them thing CQC isn't necessary in this day and age, then they should ask all the people you've killed and BART's you've taken out with your tomohawk (yes it's ok to be a little excessive)

Tell them they'll learn at the very least a competent level of what you've got and the specialists may get a little more.

>>34583101
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNBAJznZgjQ
get pumped

>>34583101
"Good day recruits, glad to see you all so full of energy, let's put it to use, I am here to instruct you all in the finer arts of getting up close and personal with your foes, so to that end first person to successfully land a hit on me doesn't have to run 3kms."

>>34583101
At ease rook's
Wait for them to stand down
Now I am told that I am supposed to teach some up and coming Merc's how to kick ass in CQC, would you tell me where they are because all I can see is a group of wannabee's?

Wink at the 3 girls

>>34583101
Question, do we have an information on the drop outs from this training class? I just want to know how many didn't make it to this point.

>>34583323
Personal information was deleted as per HR regulations, but there are two blank dossiers that would indicate a couple of drop outs.

>>34583101

"Welcome, recruits. In the time you've been here, your limits have been pushed physically, mentally, and your skills have been improved with demanding drills. Here's where shit gets real. My job is to teach you to fuck up your enemy without a fancy gun to hide behind - to force him to meet you at arms length or less and remove him from your path with fist, foot, nails, teeth, and whatever melee weapon God saw fit to let you have when you find your foe. You will be decisively engaged - you will win or you will die. And by the time I'm done with you, you'll do it, you'll win, and you'll probably like it."

>>34583403
Seconding.

>>34583212
"I'm here to train you in the basics of close quarters combat, namely the defense of it. If you have the aptitude for it I'll train you further. Most of you, based on your dossiers, don't have much, if any, training in CQC. the only I saw was Chisaki Kweon. With that said, She'll be assisting in teach you all. Don't think of her as a teacher, just a secondary instructor to help me great this through to you."

>>34583403
Yeah more or less this.

>>34583403
This is perfect.

>>34583403
I like this one. If Marek gets smart, he gets to be the volunteer for grappling.

>>34583593
And Miyuki gets extra special grappling training right?

>>34583634
You mean hand holding right?

>>34583634
Learning how to use her tits as a counter weight for advanced small joint manipulation?

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>>34583682
Yes. Hand holding. And hugs DEFINATELY hugs.

>>34583634
ALL our girls will get some special grappling training. The trick is to have them eventually all train together at once.

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>>34583711

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>>34583688
I would actual like to see that actually be a thing, but I don't think Ivan knows how that works.

>>34583711
>>34583740
Ivan "loses"

He still wins.

>>34583711
In the mud? Then a celebratory group shower? Then Waffles and Pancakes? All while we sing the training song.

I will now lead group warmup exercises
first up jumping jacks
miyuki please demonstrate

Training song 80%. Doing spoken part, one line in the refrain and one final verse.

everybody fapping

Rolled 2, 5, 2 = 9 (3d10)

>>34584169
Sorry, wasn't posting, I was too busy masturbating furiously.

Ok, I've got the song. Not a final version, as I have doubts about the third line of the spoken part, and the second to the last verse....

Posting now. My apologies

>>34584273
Merc-ing is our business
For a load of cash
We'll get in our drop pods
and go kick - some ass!

You've the biggest tits i've ever met,
but you bet before i'm through
Missy, I'll make a merc, out of you....

Trained by those before us
A bad-ass soul, within
Freakin massive armor,
And a death's...head grin!

You're here to learn the lore
Of waging war, and you've got a lot to do
Don't worry, I'll make a merc
Out of youuuu....

Fausto: I'm never gonna live through this...
Miyuki: The DI is trying to screw me!
Chisaki: Must be twenty seconds faster on this run...
Marek: Is it too late to go back to school?
Hikaru: I'm gonna wow those who knew me!
Chisaki: Ouch, I Should have picked a smaller gun

BE A MERC
All the remorse of a wild lion
BE A MERC
And as tight as the cheapest jew
BE A MERC
The true cunning of a gun for hire...
Aggressive as Valkrie coming for youuuuu!!

Time seems to take forever
Till extraction arrives
Keep teamwork under fire
And you'll all leave alive...

Looks like, you're loving more the wage of war
Here, have another drop to do
I guess I've made a merc
Out of you....
BE A MERC
All the remorse of a wild lion
BE A MERC
And as tight as the cheapest jew
BE A MERC
The true cunning of a gun for hire...
Aggressive as Valkrie coming for youuuuu!!
BE A MERC
All the remorse of a wild lion
BE A MERC
And as tight as the cheapest jew
BE A MERC
The true cunning of a gun for hire...
Aggressive as Valkrie coming for youuuuu!!

Edits? Final score?

Rolled 10, 4, 9 = 23 (3d10)

>>34584329
11/10
Would sing again.

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>>34584329

Motherfucker that's beautiful.

We should show the video of our fight with dreads. Then explain that dreads was a legend in the business and he didn't take us seriously. We were better than he thought, and damned lucky, and he as a result he died to a pair of rookies on their second drop. Lesson here: don't screw around in combat, or in training. Liberty is another matter entirely of course.was

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>>34584329
>MFW
I fucking love you Anon

>>34584403
Like this suggestion.

>>34584329
>And as tight as the cheapest jew

If only our Heavy Weapons friend (whose name I cannot fucking remember right now because it's been months) would follow that advice...

You stiffen up, recalling a choice speech that one of your instructors, as it would later turn out it was Darius messing with you all again, gave before beginning basic equipment maintenance lessons. You feel like something in a similar vein might be a fun way to start off, at least for you. You begin to prowl past the rookies, scowling at each one in turn. The facade almost breaks as Thund- Miyuki gives you a little wave, but you hold strong. After reaching the end of the short line, you turn around and begin speaking as you walk back up it.

"Welcome, recruits,” You start speaking in an unusually gruff register, as all good drill sergeants should. “In the time you've been here, your limits have been pushed physically, mentally, and your skills have been improved with demanding drills. Here's where shit gets real. My job is to teach you to fuck up your enemy without a fancy gun to hide behind - to force him to meet you at arms length or less and remove him from your path with fist, foot, nails, teeth, and whatever melee weapon God saw fit to let you have when you find your foe. You will be decisively engaged - you will win or you will die. And by the time I'm done with you, you'll do it, you'll win, and you'll probably like it."

You finish speaking with a downright predatory grin plastered across your face, leering at your prospective trainees. They seem to be quite cowed. Well everyone except Marek, who has managed to put on a show of bravado over his disconcertion. “You talk some big shit right there teach. But I fucking doubt you can back that shit up. Look at you. You’re like my grandmother’s tampon. Soft, white and spends a lotta time shoved up a leathery cooch.

>>34584403
This is a very good idea. Explain it is very possible to live or die by the futuristic super-sonic tomahawk

You stare at Marek. This little shit thinks that cause you only recently ascended from rookiedom he can talk shit. That he's your goddamn equal. His chest puffed out like a goddamn pelican or some shit, like he’s the goddamn commanding officer present. Time to correct that.

>Respond
>”Is that insubordination Recruit?” (Write in along those lines)
>”Seems like Rookie Marek has volunteered for a CQC demonstration.” (Plan of attack)
>Write in something else

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>>34584573

>>34584599
>”Seems like Rookie Marek has volunteered for a CQC demonstration.” (Plan of attack)

Smash the little shit in the nuts.

>>34584599
>”Seems like Rookie Marek has volunteered for a CQC demonstration.” (Plan of attack)
Come at me bro

then we take him down fast and effective

Rolled 10, 2, 6 = 18 (3d10)

>>34584599
>>Respond
The song.

Alternatively, either show them the footage of the fight against Dreads or sucker punch him.

>>34584599
Play "Catch painfully and repeat" with him.

>>34584599
>”Seems like Rookie Marek has volunteered for a CQC demonstration.” (Plan of attack)

Walk up like we're about to yell, then headbutt. No words.

>>34584599
Smile, offer him a pat on the shoulder, then fucking judo throw his ass over his head.

>>34584599
>”Seems like Rookie Marek has volunteered for a CQC demonstration.” (Plan of attack)

This gentleman badly wants a knee to the groin.

>>34584599
Smile and gaze into the distance before looking at him.
"Follow me Rook's, got a little vid to get you started.
Show the class the footage of Dreads being rekt and do >>34584403, then ask him if he wants a tussle.

>>34584599
Honestly I think the funniest, most effective thing we could do is just burst out laughing. Like into tears, lean on someone and and repeat shit he just said "Holy fuck, leathery cooch, seriously? That's adorable rookie."

>>34584599
>(plan of attack)

Analyze his style, breakdown it's weaknesses, give a running commentary on how he's fucking up/leaving himself open to attack while toying with him, then take him down. This is a teachable moment on multiple levels.

>>34584599
"You're gonna need more than that big mouth if you want to make it through my training without wetting yourself girlie. Now to the first order of business let's watch a video detailing the basics of what you're about to be put through"

Then show them the Dreads video.

>>34584663
He thinks he's people!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9Z33IWrKSI

>>34584599

>”Seems like Rookie Marek has volunteered for a CQC demonstration.” (Plan of attack)

The attitude we want here is professional. Our behavior should say: "Nothing personal, old buddy. I'm going to disassemble you because thats what I do - you need to realize you don't know a fucking thing. I also expect you to be a little shit, so I hold a grudge, and you won't because I'll kick your ass again if you do."

>>34584573
Fuck it.

>inb4 Marek is Val's grandson.

>>34584738

WON'T hold a grudge. WON'T

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OI mate you wanna have a go, OI sware on me mum you fockin cunt I'll deck you in the gob chroist help me you gormless tosser

File: russiandancing.gif (1.19 MB, 480x270)

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Rolled 5, 4, 10 = 19 (3d10)

>>34584599
>>34584329

>>Write in something else

It has been too long.

Rolling for Dance Mode.

>>34584619
Yissss.

>>34584599
>”Seems like Rookie Marek has volunteered for a CQC demonstration.” (Plan of attack)
And then show his punk ass the folly of his ways

"Hey Marek... Ever been suplexed?"

>>34584663
Seconding

Rolled 7, 8, 10 = 25 (3d10)

>>34584766
And Grit check

Alright, we'll be applying the beatdown apparently.

While I write some stuff to start things off, work out a plan of attack. You will be calling him forward from the line of recruits. He'll most likely be the first to (attempt) to strike.

It's like no one here has read fucking Starship troopers. Are we really going to stroke our ego-boos through the training exercise?

Remember all these 25+ we wasted earlier? A shame we won't have them now

>>34584934
Dodge (attempted) strike.

Painful blow, but not crippling.

Painful joint lock he can't get out of.

Explain to him who exactly he's fucking with.

>>34584967
Its not about our ego

It's about making sure some punk kid doesn't get his head split open because he underestimated an enemy.

Okay, maybe a bit about ego too

Rolled 8, 3, 3 = 14 (3d10)

>>34584934
Sucker punch him first.

>>34584934
Ideally I think we should catch his blow then break what ever joint is closest. No fuss, no muss.

>>34584967
Dealing with Marek isn't about ego, it's about teaching him just how much of a novice he is.

>>34584803

well then

>>34585010
That will prove nothing except that we're a dick.

We need to bait him into throwing the first punch.

>>34584934
Call him a turkey and make him angry. It probably make him go stupid and charge recklessly. Then when he tries to hit us, easily dodge and get behind him. Then suplex him.

>>34585002
It's a lot about ego. We can communicate the importance of CQC without highlighting how much of a badass we are. The recruits will figure that out themselves or leave.

>>34584934
You counting that grit check from earlier Fall Guy?

Rolled 4, 2, 7 = 13 (3d10)

>>34585058
Not sure if going in grit mode here IS a good idea.

>>34585058
gotta call for it first anon. Can't be going grit mode on some poor rookies after all.

>>34584967
If you recall, some recruit DID challenge the DI and got beat for it. For the reason of "Oh, well, I guess I have to teach you infants that you really DON'T know how to fight."

Rolled 8, 3, 4 = 15 (3d10)

>>34585082
Oatmeal mode then?

Rolled 1, 1, 2 = 4 (3d10)

>>34585082
Zen teacher mode roll.

Rolled 3, 10, 7 = 20 (3d10)

>>34585082
CALLING GRUEL MODE!

>>34584934
Dodge his attack, we know its coming and he'll probably telegraph it a bit more than he should. Feint a blow to gut or head, stomp on his foot instead, then headbutt him.

Rolled 10, 2, 7 = 19 (3d10)

>>34585082

Nah, just block everything he throws at us without even trying, and then say "You done?"

>>34585118
You. Stop that.

>>34585118
YOU FOOL!

Also we should mention we took down a MAHWM in CQC with a BART.

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>>34585118
...looks like they just entered Hell week. Would one lower have meant we took them into a live fire exercise for shits and giggles?

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>>34585118
Anon pls.

>>34585054
It's also about respect. He doesn't have to like us (or, more importantly, his superiors in general), but he damn well better respect his superiors.

>>34585093
Actually, in the book, he challenged people to come do it. Then annihilated them and - afterwards - talked to them about how they could improve. He was proving himself through action. He didn't talk to much he just kicked their asses.

The DI doesn't have to tell you he's better than you, he just IS better than you. To think otherwise means you are an idiot or suicidal.

>>34585118
So is it like a 1/500 chance to get this roll?

>>34585205
one in 333 I think.

Rolled 3, 1, 8 = 12 (3d10)

>Rolling to seduce Marek
And then we should get a shotgun!

>>34585205
More like 3/1000.

>>34585227
>>34585242
Thank you.

>>34585240
Fail

Rolled 7, 6, 10 = 23 (3d10)

>>34585240
Also why didn't that greentext?

>>34585187
Exactly. He didn't explain himself because acting like you are worthy of respect makes people tend to treat you with respect. It's when they failed to do so that they were reminded of WHY they should respect him - cause he has the skills.

>>34585282
True. I simply feel a video of us fighting dreads is unnecessary because that would be an explanation.

>>34585334
>>34585282
To be fair, Ivan has a bit of an ego

Alright, going for some sort of catch/counter to the first strike, followed up with feint attack to the head. This is followed be another feint to the gut before we get him into a hold and follow up with a headbutt.

ROLL THOSE 3D10

Rolled 4, 9, 7 = 20 (3d10)

>>34585411

Rolled 6, 8, 6 = 20 (3d10)

>>34585411

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1 MB JPG

>>34585240
We already got a shotgun now. We got it in the same mission where we got Tankdozer II-sempai and Forklift-chan together.

Rolled 1, 9, 2 = 12 (3d10)

>>34585411

Kick him in the ovaries!

Rolled 4, 9, 6 = 19 (3d10)

>>34585411
LET'S ROCK AN' ROLL!

Rolled 10, 9, 2 = 21 (3d10)

>>34585411

File: 1376056548493.gif (990 KB, 400x225)

990 KB GIF

Rolled 5, 9, 6 = 20 (3d10)

>>34585411
ROLLING

Rolled 3, 6, 2 = 11 (3d10)

>>34585411
SODOMIZE HIM WITH HIS OWN FEMUR

>>34585366
Still some things you don't do.

Rolled 9, 7, 8 = 24 (3d10)

>>34585411
pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleeeeeeease

>>34585438

Are those testicles on Forklift-chan's nose?!? Oh, wow, this just went Yaoi...

Rolled 9, 6, 8 = 23 (3d10)

>>34585411
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE BITCH?"

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75 KB GIF

Rolled 6, 6, 6 = 18 (3d10)

>>34585432
>>34585435
>>34585461
>>34585466
>>34585475


>>34584978
You were saying?

>>34585282
>>34585334

Honestly, if you don't think their primary instructor isn't going to recommend they look up our fight with Dreads later this evening I think you're nuts. The video is out there and the kiddies are going to get exposed to it, heck, I'm pretty sure the trio have already seen it since we are their sponsor and all.

But i agree it's just better if it doesn't come from us right now.

>>34585482
>>34585454


Saying stupid shit and getting bad rolls: Correlation or Causation?

>>34585512

>Rolled 6, 6, 6

Ivan is Satan

Rolled 3, 8, 2 = 13 (3d10)

>>34585411
Did somebody say GRIT MODE?

Rolled 4, 7, 3 = 14 (3d10)

>>34585546
Maybe the RNG got a sense of humor.

>>34585546
The dice gods just know that it's a bad decision.

>>34585555
I didn't even notice. holyshit.

Hey, Fall Guy, you never gave an opinion on the training song...thoughts?

>>34585512
>Rolled 6, 6, 6 = 18 (3d10)
2spooky4me

>>34585571
>did someone say GRIT MODE?

No, because we want to calmly dissect his CQC failings and flaws in front of the class, not scream incoherently.

>>34585582
>that recent upgrade to the dice roller was the first step toward Skynet

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102 KB JPG

Rolled 6, 7, 3 = 16 (3d10)

>>34585627
Lets go for another Zen teacher mode then.

>>34585589
I liked it anon, just couldn't work it into the action without it turning the training into too much of a farce.

>DAQ is back

Brb fapping in celebration

>>34585699
You could write a montage scene later for fun.

>>34585711
The true Fappening begins here

Rolled 10, 2, 9 = 21 (3d10)

>>34585639
>skynet is learning from /pol/
We are truly doomed.

Rolled 6, 3, 2 = 11 (3d10)

>>34585783
Lets see how bad it is.

Hey RNG-chan, how do you get a nigger to go on a diet?

Hide his food stamps underneath his work-boots.

You look up and down Marek, eyeballing him. Recruit probably just got his musculo-skeletal enhancements. That would go a long way to explaining his cocksure attitude. You take a step back, before turning smartly on your heel and facing away from the assembled rookies. You take a few steps forward before stopping, hands clasped behind your back. “Well recruits. It seems Mr. Vallbourg here has decided to volunteer for a close quarters combat demonstration.”

There is a short pause as the rookies process what you have just said, then you hear Marek take a few steps forward. You continue speaking. “As I may or may not have said before rookies, your body is the most reliable weapon you possess, Guns jam, fists don’t. And trust me, those myocyte-packs make it into a true weapon. By learning to employ these enhancements you will become a lethal vector regardless of armament.”

You are about to continue talking but Marek interrupts you, bellowing, “Turn around and fight!”

The fist is slow. So slow, almost as if he’s trying to push it through mega-molasses or something. You catch it squarely in the palm of your hand. Marek’s eyes open in shock as your enhanced bone structure disperses the force of his blow into nothingness. You squeeze a bit, which causes him to wince. “Do you see rookies? although there are more effective holds by far, Recruit Marek is now open to a variety of counter attacks. Like so.”

Your fist lashes out, stopping mere millimeters away from Marek’s face. Another near hit halts milliseconds before shattering his ribcage.

Marek snarls with fury before attempting a counter strike with his free hand. You artfully release his fist and grab him, forcing the recruit into a modified hold, arms pinned down. You stare at him for half a second before slamming your forehead into his.

Somewhere far away a shower drips.

“And that recruits, is just part of the knowledge that I hope to impart upon you during my time planetside. Are there any questions?”

A chorus of no sirs. You pause for a moment, thinking.

>What is the first thing you wish to train your recruits on?
>Hand to hand
>Melee
>Some third thing

>>34586115

Oh god...

>>34586174
>Hand to hand

Well, we started with hand-to-hand, might as well keep at it.

>>34586174
>Hand to hand

Give them the basics, then we move on to weaponry.

>>34586174
>>Hand to hand

Start with what we know they'll have, then work with what they might have.

>>34586174

>Hand to hand holding

>>34586174
Somewhere far away a shower drips.

Rolled 2, 6, 6 = 14 (3d10)

>>34586174
>>Hand to hand
Lets give them some hand on training.

>>34586115
...

>>34586174
>Hand to hand

>>34586174
>Somewhere far away a shower drips.
Is this implying you headbutted him so hard that the energy traveled through his body, into the ground, and shook a faucet?

If so, damn.

>>34586255
Bob and Clayton accidentally brush hands while handling a glass at the bar before awkwardly looking away.
The shower starts to pour

>>34586302
Nah it's just the homo shower enjoying some male to male face contact.

>>34586302
Nope. I think Homoerotic Shower somewhere is pleased with us.

>>34586174
>Hand to hand
>Third thing

Start with the basics (foot work, stances), move on to the practical aspects (how to move, how to attack, how to how block/defend and to read movements) and end with them pairing off for a brief sparring session. Since Marek is out cold we'll partner with Thun- I mean Miyuki.