>>36706940
>The horror passes through the tentacles, and continues its advance.

Honestly now, everyone is acting like children.
Let's all sit down and talk this over like the adults we are.

>>36706997
>>36706917
*multiple tails sprouts and starts striking dripping something lack and viscous*

>>36706940
You're lying, You forget is tole of his best shit. *hand snakes out and grabs* You look delicious and i'm hungry.

>>367069041
*A lime green Tongue lashes out like a whip and hits Mortimer multiple times before sending him flying*

>>36706948
Oh my......... THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN! *Other talon rip at the dimensional barriers and the sea of chaos start pouring forth*

>>36706876
>>36707075
>The ground shudders and spits forth a man dressed in sweat pants and open Hawaiian shirt in black face with fake elf ears and Groucho Marx glasses. He lands on the ground with a thud and curls into a ball, clutching his crotch. He announces "Dick drilling is a horrible form of travel. DrA, whats the hizzapps my nigger?"

>>36707075
>All remaining doubles shimmer and vanish, revealing over a hundred similar groups of potions.

>>36707101
That sounded just supremely painful.
Cup of tea?

>>36707101
FUN!!! is whats up! *Tails are lashing out in all directions while My tongues start coating JHeska the Traitoress in Acidic juices*

>>36707129
*Several more breaches are ripped open and the existing one starts expanding.* A war between chaos and order on this plane how grand!

>>36707075
This is bad for my business and I'd like you to leave me at once, for more pressing issues demand my attention other than being eaten by a chaos monster with delusion of grandeur, so please, keep quiet, I still need this guild.
>points with a finger, then taps it on the monster
Lesser decommissioning.

>>36707167
There will be no such thing here! *Slams his staff into the ground, closing all chaotic portals*

>>36707213
Ohhh, old Antruthius has come to play, ara, ara...

>>36707131
"that would be lovely, thank you."
>>36707167
"Hey, could you be a bro not be licking my main bitch? Where have you been man? I missed you at the last Monsterous persons meeting."

>>36707213
Hello old chum.
Tea?

>>36707186
*bites finger off* Not going to work on me little bitch, who do you think gave Jake'ness the idea for that spell? Only way i could get free!

>>36707213
Well, You're no fun. Old geezer. *points at Antruthius* <Greater power word Annihilate>

>>36707231
Trapped in the goody goody, fucker bound me into himself to keep me from getting out and to keep himself sane!

>>36707255
"Yeash, that's a tough break."
Dr.Stabby draws two daggers.
"But I believe I asked you to put down my women. Now I realize that you've been trapped away for awhile, Why don't we blow this pop stand and hit the Bar?"

>>36707255
...how...it hurts! You will pay for biting my beloved Fryia's body, monster! Eat your own magic, if there is truth in your claim! Greater decommission!

>>36707230
How DARE you betray this guild? These people who treated you AS THEIR OWN BLOOD? You think I have sat idle while you played hell with these people's lives? YOU WERE ALWAYS A FOOL!
>Cosmic decomissioning
>>36707255
That does not even merit a response.
>The spell fizzles out of existence, Antruthius casts quickened Planar Binding Chains (order)

>>36707322
"Oi, you mind! Some of us are trying to have a conversation!"

>>36707322
DAMNIT, SHE STILL HAS FRYIA'S SOUL
>>36707319
>tackles out of the way

>>36707318
*Tails stop attacking Marus and start slashing at Stabby* Know your place decrepit old fool!

>>36707319
Ha Ha you don't get it. Every time that spell is cast i get stronger! Thanks for the power boost!

>>36707322
Oh! Another boost! Thanks old man, after i'm done eating this delectable elf i'll party with you next!

>>36707322
... Curse you, old geezer! Don't you dare believing I can be destroyed so easily!
>Throw herself out of Fryia's body, disappearing through the planes

>>36707406
*drops body* And the magic is gone, you couldn't wait for a few minutes could you Geezer? Ah well Let's have SOME FUN! *Blinks inches from Antruthius' face smiling*

>>36707401
Shortsighted imbecile
>Arcane inversal, the polarity of the chains reverse while increasing their strength dramatically.
>>36707398
There are other priorities here!
>>36707234
Not the time, gather all essence of orderly beings that you have.

>>36707406
HAH!
>Casts the unraveling ritual, removing what traces of Jheska remain in the body.

>>36707459
Alright, I have a small horde of homonculi that have the nine hundred and ninenty nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine sigils of greater binding scribed onto every living and dead cell in their bodies and souls. Think you can do something with those?

> Pops in with a teleportation spell, sorrounded by drow guards
Ok guys, who send the help request? I hope nothin gis happening because I was hitting on this elf lad that->>36707406
>>36707322
>>36707398
>>36707322
>Epic tier facepalm
>>36707459
Orderly? Whatever good or evil? Take mine then. Aaaaall yours.

>>36707459
*stops with a talon inches from Antruthius's face* <Magic eater> *chains shatter and i slump to the ground* Almost had me there for a second, Old man. MY TURN! *multiple appendages swing away at Antruthius*

>>36707514
Oh you DON'T!
>push antruthius aside, diving in harm's way

>>36707401
>Dr.Stabby starts stabbing.
"I already know my place, you out of touch knob gobbler, IT'S ON TOP!"
>Ducks under and grabs on to the tail, using the momentum to it's swing to launch him into the air and toward DrA'SzusineL's face

>>36706997
Ah-ha, I have successfully turned back time and arrived 100 posts ago, at the beginning of the wizard meeting! I'll take my diploma now, thanks.

>>36707439
But of course. *Touches the tip of his staff to the World Eater's face*
Essence Leech *A black orb bound in chains appears, and begins absorbing the chaos taint into itself*

File: Clapping_Canibal.gif (2.2 MB, 610x350)

2.2 MB GIF

>>36707550

File: 46309041.png (607 KB, 1200x1200)

607 KB PNG

>>36707514
You. Cut that shit out. Right. Fucking. Now. I may not be some archmagus or high warlock or some shit like that, and right now I don't care. There's no longer a need for the grandstanding and this pissing match is not helping.

I'm going to give you one chance to get your shit in line. Blow it. I DARE you.

*a violet glow starts to radiate from one of Samantha's robe pockets*

>>36707514
>>36707512
Guards, protect the wizards. Shield them from every harm.
>Mass bear endurance

*gets up* well that was painful. Is it dead yet?

>>36707545
*Grab Cromina by the throat* You'll do for a snack.

>>36707548
*Tales wrap around stabby and start to wrack him* Nice try rogue, you're no demon lord.

>>36707562
>>36707550
Thanks for the idea<Chronometria!> *orb disappears for a few seconds, when it reappears a wing smash it* Thanks kid, Geezer almost had me there!

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>36707629
>Dr.Stabby Roll's to resist nose bleed and distraction

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>36707645
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!!!
>tackle

>>36707645
Well, let's see now. No, that won't do...No, not that either....This? Eh, why not. Can't hurt
>Elemental delusion: the World Eater now mistakes all sources of energy as chaotic

>>36707645
>this totally happens be he is too busy staring at samantha

>>36707680
"Remember Mortimer, the power of boners is stronger that anything!"

>>36707645
*Ouff*Enough with this *cough*pissing contest, your fuckery has gone way too far for me *cough*. Eat me now, we will see how a fucking barely contained magic nuke in a human body tastes *cough*
>>36707680
Oh, go away, idiot *cough* you'll get killed!

>>36707645
*the orb begins reforming itself*
You only delay the inevitable.

>>36707645

*unzips katana*

psshhh... nothin personnel...

*teleports behind u and cuts u in half*

...kid

*teleports away*

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231 KB JPG

>>36707502
>>36707645
Go my minions, march against the chaos, impale yourself on the esoteric forces and bind it to your shattered bodies. Leave it powerless and frail and broken. Fulfill your purpose!

>>36707729
And miss out the fun? Plus, this is no where near the most suicidal thing I have ever done

Whatever you guys do, DO NOT go outside. I may have forgotten to memorize Animate Dead last night and there may or may not be an undead horde at the doors. Don't worry though I'm pretty sure they only want to kill the living, so we should be fine after they murder us.

File: theHermit.jpg (177 KB, 597x900)

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W-what is going on there? I am a hermit-wizard passing by. I noticed the tower, sensed arcane energies and entered. Do I bother?

>>36707629
*licks Cromina with the Acidic tongue* Tasty!

Oh you think you can hurt me cute!

>>36707639
Really kid? LAME LAME LAME where's the fire? You suck for a chosen of Lolth now that spider bitch knows how to have fun!

>>36707680
*kicks him* That'd imply, dear Mortimer, that i have a mother.

>>36707704
What part of I can see like the goody goody didn't you understand Noodle man?

>>36707729
It'd taste GOOD! *Swallows her whole*

>>36707730
I'm a creature of chaos and i'm about to get a massive powerup thanks to knight girl sacrificing herself.

>>36707746
*Katana breaks aftwards as i reform* Gotta have a magic weapon dumbass. A for effort though.

>>36707751
MORE FOOD! Thanks!

>>36707792
The fuck are you? Why won't you go down?!?
Wait, is that my petunia gard on fire?!?!!?!?

>>36707729
You know she's lawful right?

>>36707792
You do realize that eating them only makes it work better? There is no being in the infinite planes that can keep that binding at bay, it is scribed down to the fundamental levels of reality in an infinite mandala of catalepsis and powerless impotence.

>>36707847
Mind you it is usually not that powerful, but the idiot decided to eat them.

>>36707746
I loathe intruders coming to shitpost but this one is kinda right, we need to end this quickly or the fun is just going to go away

As a quick side question, does any one know the name of the God of giants?

>>36707792
If it weren't for this perhaps *The orb fully reforms and is hurled into the world eater's maw*
Arcane inversion. *The orb explodes outwards as orderly energy.*

>>36707879
Yeah, it was getting old at the fifth or so post.

>>36707827
I am Chaos and Destruction personified silly! Boop! *another two finger poke*

>>36707847
I hail from the sea of chaos, idiot. Fuck your logic i eat people. Chaos eats everything.

Damn i wish i had some coffee right no... No i Don't!

>>36707792
>Pumpkin helps Reggy up
"Oh you old coot, what where you thinking? You're all hurt now. lets get you some first aid."
>Pumpkin helps Reggy meld back into the wall.

>>36707879
It really could have ended on a number of occasions

>>36707905
I don't think you understand what "no being in the infinite iterations in reality" means.

>>36707905
You want some coffe? Come and get it. All you have to do is get past me, who is a half giant, and my pets Marco and Polo.
Also, never thought I would ever say this, but I wish Jake'ness was here

>>36707905
>Chaos eats everything.
"funny you should mention that old friend. I- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH- fucking hell, enough with the pulling and twisting, will you?"
>Dr.Stabby starts eating DrA'SzusineL

>>36707945
Wait, Mortimer, you're half giant? I never knew.

>>36707922
You're saying this to a walking unreality, you do realize that right?

>>36707897
*Gets mostly blown up Cromina is ejected from my maw* Ow.

>>36707945
Fuck your coffee, fuck it in the face!

>>36707905
>detonates right inside of the monster, lawful-aligned explosions laying waste to his entrails
>>36707900
>>36707921

yeah, sorry for keeping it alive, then. I just hope it will end in a couple of posts.

>>36707964
How did you miss that?

>>36707964
>Shouts in between bites "i've known him for 50 years and I only just found out."

>>36707970
>>36707945
... Mortimer, isn't it? Can we get more of this coffee for the World Eater's pleasure?

>>36707964
Dad was a wizard, mom was a giant. I never showed any potential in magic, so dad let mom raise me.

>>36707970
>>36707972
You know what?
I suggest we adopt a new strategy. Being of pure chaos just go away or spiral away into uselessness if you ignore them. Let us do so.

>>36707976
I guess I just don't see race after all this time.

>>36707995
Yes, let's do that, the coffee maker is just down the hall. I would help, but I appear to be out of actual bodies. Save for one. This is just an illusion.

>>36707972
Why did you blow yourself up on top of e who the fuck does that? That's bloody stupid! *staggers* Damn that hurt.

>>36707995
Go fuck yourself knife ear

>>36707998
Yes leave me alone and i'll go away heh heh.

>>36707990
Tails are burnt up freeing Stabby.

*Tries to open a portal to the see of Chaos*

>>36707995
No
>>36708018
Wait what?

>>36708022
"Okay then, see you at the next meeting, Broski?"

>>36708022
Arcane inversion.

I guess we should follow protocol, someone get the chaos thing a class enrollment form and an apprentice's robe.

>>36708045
"Just let him go."

>>36708044
Heh.. mayb>>36708045
Fuck fuck fuck! that hurts. You do realize you can't actually kill me right? Fucking idiotic old man.

>>36708038
Look, I've been eaten and dismembered an ungodly number of times today, just go get the damn coffee. I'm not in a position to do anything right now except annoy him.
>>36708022
Secrets are more mysterious than chaos!

>>36707964
I knew it despite being here from a week. You should be more well informed about your guild's members.
>>36708022
Blessed Lolth
In your name I sacrifice the weak
I cast the world into the oblivion
I laugh at the dying and suffering
Please hear me praying
grant me power, take it away from the others
In order to destroy your enemies and mine
Multiply this coffee all over the place!
>a wave of mortimer coffee splashes over the world eater

>>36708088
No, but you're officially out of any meaningful kind of energy. Be bound.
>Chains of order manifest and begin rebinding the creature

>>36708090
Chaos is everything you nitwit! I am everything!

>>36708113
>>36708147
Fuck you Lolth FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU! *wave of coffee washes over, all that's left in the aftermath is the body of a skinny middle aged man*

>>36708113
This is like a dream I had. It felt vaguely sexual. I only wish I could taste this delicious coffee.....

>>36708171
Someone put some clothes on him.
>begins sobbing quietly
My poor restaurant.....

>>36708113
Oh shush you rude childe.
I can't help that I don't immediately quantify people by race.

>>36708171
Damn
>>36708210
I will help you rebuild

>>36707972
>>36708038
>Dr.stabby pulls on his gloves of protection from law and starts gathering up the bits and chunks of lawdioactive Cromina
"Mortimer, I need your help. We're going to bring back your girlfriend."

>>36708113
>>36708171
>Still dying on the floor
Well- fuck. I'm dying and all that *cough* I can think about is fucking coffee*cough*. Fuck...
ok I'm actually sorry for believing the shiposters. Based mage's guild never disappoints. Forgive me soros.

>>36708226
Only works if she's willing. I...need someone to check if Fryia made it. Still an illusion.

>>36708230
Want a cup?
>>36708226
Damn it Stabby

What on Earth is going on here?!

>>36708230
Wait...I can do something here.
>illusion of comfort. The pain fades.
It's not healing, but....at least it won't hurt anymore.

>>36708230
>>36708113
There were right i took the insane demon of destruction bit a little far good ending though.

>>36708171
That's divine magic, arcane idiot.
>>36708230
Brave Knight, fear not for Lolth blessed coffee will heal your wounds.

>>36708230
>Still dying on the floor
"holy shit, how are you st- Oh right fighter, fuck huge hitpoints. Silly me. Okay now, hold still this is going to hurt you a lot more then it's going to hurt me"
>Stabs Cromina under the chin
>Pulls the knife free
>Helps the healed Cromina to her feet

>>36708275
Oh. I'm out of bodies. Jheska vacated Fryia's, need you to check it and make sure she's in there and alive. I'm just here via illusion. I was eaten a lot. Fortunately, that only hurts for a moment. And my restaurant is a fucking wreck, and the guild hall has been decommissioned. Again.

>>36708275
>>36708250
... what is this... place... am I dead, Jheska?
...
Noel? Are you...

>>36708319
*starts stitching back up*
Here, drink this.

>>36708346
W-what?! Fryia! Fryia are you alive?

>>36708360
Hooray, I managed to not fuck something up. Can someone make me a new body? Please? I think I've earned it.

>>36708361
"Please I'm a fully licensed StubUPuncterist, O know to heal people."

>>36708360
Fryia, Fryia thank the gods you're alive!

>>36708372
>>36708411

Ah... this must be a dream then... hello dream-Noel, I missed you... so much...
>faints

Now it's time to wait for the other shoe to drop

Well. You all seem to have this under control again. I shall retire to my private abode, and tend to Soros. He will receive a stern talking to about his actions tonight. I would vastly have preferred to evacuate everyone and merely rebuild a new guild hall, as opposed to dealing with his chaos blight.

*wakes up* Oh god's my head. What happened? Why am i naked in a crater that has Conspierre's Restaurant around it? Why is there coffee every where?

>>36708381
Well I think Fryia's body just got a vacancy.

>>36708451
Your in trouble. Plain and simple

>>36708405
Well I suppose, but this will get you back on your feet in about 30 seconds.

>>36708446
Please tell me there is more coffee left.

>>36708319
>>36708361
>>36708266
hhhhng
it hurts...
IT FUCKING HURTS! OH ASMODEUS I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DAY EATEN
AND VORE IS NOT EVEN MY FETISH
THANK YOU ASMODEUS
... wait, mort? What happened? You made a bit too much coffee? And stabby?

>>36708451
You. You are never to unbind your chains again. If such a threat appears that you feel you must, do not indulge that impulse. You are to evacuate the area. We can rebuild a guild hall. We can not always rebuild our members. Do I make myself clear?

>>36708446
"Mortimer, Get over here and attend to you girlfriend and don't you dammit Stabby me, boy!"

>>36708427
Fryia you blockhead, does this sound like a dream to you?! I need a cleric over here!

>>36708480
For? I haven't felt this bad since i first got hit with Choas bligh- Fuck he got out didn't he?

>>36708498
What the hell compelled me to do something that damn stupid?

>>36708482
As apposed to stabupuncter with heals as soon at the knife leaves the body.

>>36708504
One word. Persuade me, with but a word.

>>36708504
Hey, I saved her from a decommissioning. In addition to the rest of the damn guild, thanks to one of my, and I quote,"USELESS FUCKING PARANOID SCHEMES." FIX ME TOO. AT LEAST ONE OF THESE BODIES HAS TO BE RESURRECT-ABLE. I CAN NOT USE THE LAST ONE RIGHT NOW.

>>36708493
That was Jheskas doing, not mine. Come on, let's get you to a cleric
>>36708502
Damn it Stabby, I'm 500 years old.

>>36708556
Tell me, esteemed wizard. Who among us saved the day? Tell me, please.

>>36708544
Jheska.....please.
>>36708556
Help Pierre too.

>>36708544
Is the sound on with this thing?
>>36708518
Oh, jheska senior dropped a decommissioning bomb in the guild hall. You tried to stop it. You also killed all my doubles. Except one. I'm just here, floating my incorporeal ass around trying to get some assistance.

*the runes paper given to Samantha turns to dust and James steps out of her shadow*
What in the hells happened here! The shadow I left in the guildhall is completely gone! That has never happened before what the fuck! I have been trying to use it for an hour! Why didn't my emergency shadow rune work until now! Where the fuck are we!? Is that fryia? What happened?

>>36708504
"Just a minite, I want to document Cromina's and Mortimer kiss. It's bound to happen now!"

>>36708583
"and yet your still paying attention to me and not the beautiful women who needs you to smooch her."

>>36708595
It was you, me, and Pierre. Me with the coffee, you with multiplying the cofee, and Pierre with getting us to safety

>>36708595
Well, lets see, I got everyone out of the guild hall in the first place, Antruthius and Cromina did the bulk of the work, and you got the coup de gras.

>>36708603
I dont' know...tee-h... ehm. Sorry about that. Bring her over here, please. And you too.>>36708617
>Greater restoration!
>...resurrection, I hope.
>>36708636
>>36708650
"You did" would have been great. But it was blessed Lolth so save us, not me!

>>36708617
Ok then, Guessing the coffee was his manifested weakness? It usually takes the form of something I enjoy.

>>36708636
Alright then. Does anyone have a fresh mug of coffee available? I could use some right now, badly.

>>36708621
I think my inner monster ate it. Sorry mate.

>>36708688
Ohw, ohw, ohw.
Ohw, ohw OHW.
You thrice cursed! Giant-sized! Massive! Totally retarded! IDIOT! >headbutt soros

>>36708681
Thank you. Now, the dining area seems to be destroyed, along with the wine cellar, a significant portion of the kitchens, and most of the waiting area. That leaves my private rooms, the guest rooms, my private liquor stores, and whatever kitchen equipment is still salvageable. My staff seems to have fled. Let's all have a drink, shall we?

>>36708623
>>36708636
>>36708650
>>36708681
>>36708688

Seriously what the hell happened here??? Of all the ridiculous shit I have fought none of them has ever killed one of my shadows! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!? DON'T GIVE ME SOME BULLSHIT!!!

>>36708761
*Goes down like a sack of bricks unconscious with a broken nose*

>>36708767
Time to spike my coffe again.

>>36708681
Please Fryia, wake up..,please...

>>36708789
*kicks a bit*

>>36708805
Spike mine too please.

>>36708775
A decommissioning bomb happened.
>>36708603
Well, lets take this party to my chambers instead of this exposed crater. Should fit all of us. Put her on my bed, its the most comfortable. I'll just take a guest room when we all retire.

>>36708767
Vodka. Fetch me vodka. And then throw it away and fetch me simple alcohol ins its purest form. And then put it aside and find something stronger.

>>36708761
"Cromina, you really need to lay down. by the fire. "
>>36708805
"Mortimer, lay Cromina down by the fire and don't let her up, I've others to help!"

>>36708775
IM SO SHOCKED I EVEN DROPPED MY NAMETAG

>>36708811
There's no more risk of Jheska possessing her. Just let her rest, she'll speak when she's ready. I managed the unraveling spell during all the commotion.
>>36708828
I'm bringing everything.

>>36708861
"Look, talk to my two favorite people in this guild, I'm sure they can explain."

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>36708840
>ballshot
>>36708816
Sure

*is still unconscious with a broken nose*

>>36708811
>starts muttering
...
aah...
It is way too bright around here, jheska..
I dreamed of everyone, you know. Noel was smiling at me. Cromina headbutted Soros and Conspierre was serving the drinks, and Mortimer's coffee was all over the place...
I want to her again...

>>36708930
Poor thing. Noel, help me move her. I'll make a stretcher.

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25 KB JPG

>>36708908
>Laughs
>>36708895
"Fine, you don't want to tap dat ass, be my guess."
>Takes off his Cromer t-shirt and throws it in the trash

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>>36708930
Fryia you dummy, I am her-e-e-ehwaaaaaaaahhhh!

>>36708908
I'm just going to leave him for now, anyone have any objections?

>>36708908
You deserved it. Wizards...
>>36709060
We could put him on a bed of spiders. Or Under one.

>>36709020
Oh god, a sneak attack right in my feels.
>>36709105
"That's what I like to hear, princess! but maybe something that isn't spider themed?"

>>36709020
>Opens eyes
It is raining...? It is the first time I feel... something on my skin... why are you crying, my Noel?
>Hugs her
It does not matter... dream or not... Jheska will never take me away from you

>>36709105
No, just leave him. It's far past the time to start drinking anyways. I think we've all exerted ourselves enough for one day.

>>36709159
Hear' have some coffee

>>36709161
You know what. Au revoir. I'll just drink myself unconscious. See ya next meeting, guys.

>>36709161
Leaving one of Jheska's enemies exposed, alone , and helpless out where she can kill/enslave him. Brilliant!

>>36709159
You got that right Fryia, come on, let me help you onto this stretcher.

>>36709161
I'll just take him away, then, into what is left of your restaurant, and hoping he is not going to kill everyone in the sleep.

>>36709206
I am all for this

>>36709270
First thing she'll do would be letting demon out and binding it to her will.

>>36709219
What is a stretcher? Play no more with my feelings, Jheska... Are you real? For real? The real Noel? Please make it be like that...

>>36709303
Yeah, its the hair isn't is? It turns purple when I get angry or worried sick apparently. Go figure, you'll see blonde hair in a few minutes don't worry.

>>36709339
Yeah, I... I like them both ways... This is my cloak, right? I'm... happy you took it..

Well, i must go. Good luck to you all. Now if you don't mind. I going to drink myself to oblivion

>>36709206
On second thought I have an awful feeling about leaving him unguarded.
>>36709260
I've got a few empty rooms somewhere. >begins stuffing Soros' unconscious form into a black burlap sack, the sack collapses as if empty when finished.
There. Now he's in any number of locations until I do an unspecified thing to bring him out of a place that he can't even identify the location of.
>>36709303
Fryia, this is real. I'm not going to apologize right now for all this, because it will probably cause you to doubt the authenticity of reality even more.
>>36709339
and 1-2-3 lift!

>>36709383
Yeah, its a good cloak, gonna look great on you when you take it back.

>>36709393
Apparently, Lupa upgraded the liver on this one when I commissioned her services for a project. It's going to take me a bit. Night Mort.

>>36709437
Ughafrugl damn I knew I should've tossed a few points into STR at some point!

*has possessed Lord James with the shadow*
>>36708825
James and I will have to hear about this in more depth later

>>36709469
Almost there, almost there

>>36709437
>Fall out of the sack

>>36709516
Oh. There you two are. Grab some booze, follow Noel and I. It's time to drink.

>>36709441
Ah, no, take it, I'm glad to see you wear it...
>>36709437
Pierre? What are you doing, I was talking to... Noel...
This is real, isn't it, am I free? Am I free again? Am Iahahahahahahahahahahahah, I am free...
>Keeps crying while smiling at the same time

>>36709553
Yeah Fryia, you're free, got to say everyone missed you. A lot.
Most of all me.

>>36709553
Yes, and permanently. That being said, I'm going to apologize for allowing my methods of immortality to be stolen and used to possess you for such an extended period. So.....sorry. Also, don't be alarmed when you meet jheska's daughter. Apparently jheska senior tried to murder her. I guess a lot has happened, hasn't it?

>>36709539
>Summons a fuck huge keg from nowhere and follows Pierre
"PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!"

>>36709478
It seems like you all need a bit of a pick up, I leave you with this:
[The World will Hear and Obey; Shadow Overide! Mass Grand Healing!]
*the shadow fades from Hames and an incredibly strong healing spell washes over the area*

*A small orb, glowing faint blue and releasing intangible wisps, enters the Guildhall.*
*Anfarthon's face appears on a seemingly holographic display.*
>WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED HERE?!?

>>36709592
I too, missed everyone.... but mostly you...
>>36709615
It is good to be back. I'll hear about... everything next time. Promise not to do anything meaningful... before I'm back.
>Falls asleep

>>36709698
"you want the long version or the fun version?"

>>36709698
>sending
I stole your finger during the unspeakable night, coming clean on that now. Needed it in case Soros ever lost his shit. Soros lost his shit, and the guild hall has been decommissioned. We're at the wreckage of my restaurant. Fryia's back too

>>36709688
*Heads pops out of Pierre's sack* Damn Cromina give me warning next time, you could have killed me with that. Oh Pierre i borrowed some of your clothes since my robe got destroyed, sorry.

>>36709731
*The probe rematerializes in Pierre's restaurant.*
>Jheska is here?! Gods, I may have to miss the Observance, but I'll head back at once!

>>36709777
No, Fryia's back. Jheska's been ousted from her body.

>>36709729
>And Stabby is here. Well, the long version. Clearly a LOT has happened. And on the day of my departure, too...
>>36709802
>A whole lot, my word! Spare me no details.

>>36709701
Night Fryia, get some rest.
>>36709737
Get back in the bag.

>>36709835
Yeah no. I'm good to walk i already slept a full 8 so my spells are back. *proceeds to lurch out the bad in a decidedly undignified manner*

>>36709824
"Then talk to someone else."

>>36709876
>At least no one seems to have died. Can someone please at least tell me why we're in the restaurant?!

>>36709824
Jheska senior dropped a decommissioning bomb in the guild hall, soros threw off his chains to try and stop it. I evacuated everyone to my restaurant, soros followed in evil world eater form. Antruthius stepped up to the fight, I got killed. A lot. Cromina detonated herself inside the beast after it ate her, she's recovering. Jheska showed up in person, tried to hire the beast, Antruthius attempted to decommission her because apparently that one's no longer forbidden knowledge. I tackled Fryia's body out of the way as Jheska fled it, and cast the unraveling spell so that she couldn't possess it any more. Jheska Junior, or Illyria apparently, delivered a coup de gras to the beast by summoning a tidal wave of Mort's coffee.

>>36709941
*Gets out of the bag and vomits* Yuck. *peers into vomit* Guys did i eat anyone because there is a finger in my vomit.

>>36710034
Me. Numerous times.

>>36710067
A finger with nail polish on it.

>>36709941
>I am actually somewhat glad I was not present, then. Is Her Highness alright? Anyone else actually killed for good?

>>36710081
Oh. Guess I snagged Lupa's pinkey finger then. Unless that's Cromina's

>>36710096
She's not All Dead, if that's what you mean. Not yet, anyway.

I don't think we lost anyone we didn't already get back?

>>36710134
Sam, you're alive!

>>36710096
To my knowledge, no.

>>36710162
Of course she's alive, she's the first one I grabbed.

>>36710112
Think it might be Fryja's. She's missing a finger and if Jheska was stupid enough to talk to the monster, that'd be the least he'd do.

>>36710134
Think everyone lived through this if but barely in some cases.

>>36710096
Here I am, fear not.
>>36710081
It is Fryia's, you ate it when she tried to decommission you.
>>36710169
I'd like not to be referred by that name anymore, wizards.

>>36710213
Which one?

>>36710213
Thought so, Good work kid. Of course i imagine Lolth has no love lost for him since he tried to rape her. Which name do you wish to go by then?

>>36710240
Mine. You know which one. The one Mother used before.
>>36710258
Jheska is good.

>>36710270
IF you wish to hide behind that mask, you've earned the right. Beware sometimes you can become the mask however.

>>36710270
That's going to be an ongoing headache...So what is the significance of the name Jheska? And what is your mother's real name for that matter?

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>>36710162
Yeah. Yeah, I'm alive. I'm not sure how given how tempted I was to bitchslap Soros' other form but here I am anyway.

>>36710270
Alright. You and I, we're going to have a little talk about arcane casting. Talking shit about it like I wouldn't find out...
If you want, I'll be sure to talk slowly and use short stubby words so you get it.

>>36710191
Pierre...I guess I was wrong about you after all these years.

>>36710213
>I am glad to see you are alright.
>I am glad to see that everyone is alright. I will finish Observance, and return to the restaurant as soon as possible. With the inevitable reparations and reconstruction, it will be good to actually have a Lawmagus around.
>>36710364
>I am glad to see you're well, as well. You've become a lot more like Noel recently!

>>36710299
It is not a mask. I just do not want the name she gave me.
>>36710326
It is the name of the first matron of the royal house, Jheska the first. Her granddaughter was known as Jheska the fourth, and mother were the third. I took up her name so that I'll be everything she never managed to be for my people and the glorious royal house.
>>36710364
Come again? I'm rather tired and not in the best of moods.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>36710364
>Rolls to resist nose bleed

>walks out of a nearby crater, covered in ash and coughing
Godsdammit. I hope I'm in the right universe. I will never look at lobsters the same. Errrr...
Something big happened. The coffee smell everywhere is kind of a giveaway.
Is the guild hall still standing at least?

>>36710365
On what counts? Because I am definitely a hellish inconvenience quite frequently.

>>36710364
"DAAAAAAAAAAAMN"
>Blood everywhere

>>36710364
Given that he was going against Antruthius at half power, probably best you didn't.

>>36710432
You hide behind someone else's name because you see them as strong and yourself weak. Illirya means among other things, "Beautiful Shadow" i think it fits you much better than Jheska, but as you wish.

>>36710462
I let the monster bound inside me out in a very stupid move, the coffee helped get it bound back into where it needs to be.

>>36710487
Amen.

>>36710490
Cleric!

>>36710462
No. Neither is the moneymaking portion of my restaurant.
>>36710432
Fair enough.

>>36710530
You're getting rid of the spelleye, you know that right? That thing having it is too great of a risk to continue taking.

>>36710530
>Cleric!
Let him bleed.

>>36710530
"Honestly I blame you, I had to find some other means of getting a boner around drow and I went with extra blood."

>>36710400
She learned from the best.

>>36710576
Spelleye wasn't the issue and he has it either way now. It safe as log as i don't let him out again. Gods that was stupid.

>>36710581
>>36710582
Never mind then let him faint from blood loss.

>>36710490
Hey hey HEY, don't go around thinking dirty thoughts about my apprentice you dirty old man.

man these threads are almost as embarassing as the legion of doom threads on /co/

almost.

>>36710627
well, getting rid of that knowledge completely is going to be my next pet project.

>>36710660
>almost.
Darn we can do better then this.
Next time filter guild and it will be all right.

>>36710490
Ha, same old stabby. I'd offer you a handkerchief, except you know, ash everywhere.
>>36710530
Well...Damn, sorry I wasn't here. Can't even help a friend when they need it the most.
>>36710537
No one hurt though? Are all of your employees okay?

Well, I'd

>>36710660
>Almost
Damn, we've been trying for "Worst Thread on 4chan" for weeks!

>>36710643
don't you have a girlfiend to be reunited with?

>>36710701
Honestly, whats up with that? Ya'll wizards, just magic the tower back up.

>>36710622
Still learning, but I've picked up a few tricks.

>>36710432
Short stubby words it is.
Here's the difference between Divine and Arcane casting: Divine magic has you ask your deity of choice for permission to break the rules of reality. Arcane magic has you break the rules and doesn't let reality tell you it's wrong.

I honestly don't see what hangup you're having - you're a princess, you should be used to taking things and expecting everything in your life to go exactly as you desire. Arcane casting is just doing that on a reality-wide scale. Got it?

>>36710687
Well i'd advise you erase it from Jake'ness before you try and take it from me.

>>36710701
Shit happens It's fine.

>>36710722
one day anon, one day.

>>36710739
>That's certainly the way a sorcerer looks at it.
>Some of us put hard work in making sure that reality's rules are not so easily broken as they used to be.

>>36710810
Parents please talk to your kids about the dangers of ironic shitposting while going full retard.

>>36710760
Don't need to, it gets erased period. Not out of anyone's head. That thing with Ashburn? I got rid of ashburn's knowledge of magic. No one knows exactly what he knew now, not even him. It could definitely get rid of how the spelleye is used, I made the mistake of trying to get your inner monster's knowledge of the spelleye's workings. Unfortunately, you neglected to mention that it shrugs off cosmic level spells, and isn't so much your dark side as the incarnation of chaos. And while we're on the subject, how the fuck did that even happen?

>>36710887
>Likely the same way that Parasolus channeled the Primordials, a moment of sudden and intense focus where the soul simply... slips.

>>36710701
>Freezes for a moment
Ah. Temporal feedback. We meet again. Sorry about that.
>>36710733
It's complicated. Mana loops, and spells, wards, and what not lingering.
>>36710771
Not all of us break apart the rules of reality. It's certainly the easiest way of Arcane casting. There's just as many to sidestep them and use them to enhance spells. Apprentice Samantha explained the fundamental difference well though.

>>36710929
Not really. Ya'll wizards.

>>36710887
Remember when I told you that I got thrown into the see of chaos and dragged myself out? That created him. I bound him to fix my own mess but, yeah he's basically chaos given will. I have no clue how it happened.

>>36710916
My guess is I struggled so hard a little bit of me got stuck on what was trying to erase me and became it's own thing. It's only a theory mind you.

>>36710985
"Nah man, he's older then that. A good drinking buddy of mine, too."

*wakes up and drinks a potion pulled out of the shadow* Uggh my head.. Whatever ate that shadow I left in the Hall drained like 3/4 of the energy I had stored in my true shadow through the link...

>>36710739
One of which seems to be including ditch those old glasses of yours, did you lose them or just got rid of them?

>>36711029
He's a chaos entity once he exists he does so through all time kind of like true fae. Time means nothing to him.

>>36711056
"Wrong."

>>36711040
In all honesty, I haven't had time to make them flame-resistant so when I start channeling fire I make sure to put them away so they don't get melted or anything. I can still see pretty well, but reading small script is a hassle without them.

>>36711075
Think what you wish, I've run into him in the past and future and he know me in all the disparities, Seriously he once fought a chronomancer and no sold it be using the line of logic. I am Always already here.

>>36710968
The vote of confidence is nice. You know how we always insist on using magic instead of stabbing, even if stabbing would be so much better in some situations? It's like that. Some magic persists, even if its attached to something and that something is gone.
>>36711032
Coffee? There's plenty around here.

>>36711117
Personally, I think you look better without them. Now if you excuse me, today has been a very long day.

>>36710985
and did it ever occur to you to jump in the source of order and zero sum him out? You only need either both at once, or neither at all. They're there to keep balance.

>>36711363
Night.

>>36711363
First thing I tried actually, first inside my body which was killing me faster than it did him second out of it and he'd always slip away even when reduced to nothing. Fucker is nigh impossible to kill. Hurt, scare, wound, bind yeah can't seem to finish him though.

>>36711406
Night Pierre.

>>36711330
Night Noel

>>36711406
>meant to link>>36711330

>>36711426
Oh joy, you've created a nemesis. In the traditional sense. Easy enough fix to get rid of the world destroying part, but you won't like it.

>>36711516
There are a lot of things I don't and won't like. Hit me.

>>36711330
Good night, Noel.

Speaking of night...I guess some hotels will be having good business for the next few weeks.
>>36711426
>>36711363
The way it is now might be best, really. The other guilds are talented, but they'd be hard pressed to deal with him. You all managed to contain the damage well enough. It isn't pleasant, but it could be much worse.

>>36711568
He didn't get the epithet World Eater for nothing. He was at half power and still did a shit load of damage.

>>36711540
Find a way to burn yourselves out at the same rate. And never recover. He will always be stronger than you, but only just. This way, he'd be manageable.

>>36711568
I really hate to admit this but you're right. except for maybe the baker's guild.

>>36711628
What do you think happened to the guildhouse in Thaglarond? I got sick nearly died he got let out and nuked it. Antruthius had to bind it with a lot of help. He was stronger then than he was when you fought him and I was in far worse condition.

>>36711724
Well, its either that or a large number of sacrifices to balance out the scales and merge you into one singular entity and zero sum. See, nonsense like this is why I don't meddle in interplanar business.

>>36711837
How about wait til I Apotheosize into the Deity of all knowledge we just become another deity/demonlord feud?

>>36711893
You know, I could just talk to the guy for you.

>>36711893
Godhood, really? That's just so....cliche

>>36711714
No. Get out. We do not talk about the bakers here. Greedy bastards, all of them. People think the thieves are the criminals, but no. The bakers own that title.
How many expeditions have we led to get back the stone of endless wonders? It took us nearly 200 years to dig that up. Bakers have no respect for all the work we do.
>>36711724
I always wondered what happened there...
I really should look into becoming a department head. There's so much you council members lock up. I'll talk to Antruthius about it later.
>>36711837
Keep it that way, Pierre. It's tough to get out of. Never accept offers from interplanar travelers.

>>36711930
"...... you do know that that bakers guild is just a front for the assassin's guild, right?"

>>36711908
I'd have to let him out. Not happening.

>>36711923
I'm a sucker for a well done classic.

>>36711930
Well, the Ur department s that have heads at the moment are Divination and Necromancy. Lots of spots open at the moment.

>>36711991
"Then let me in."

>>36711991
>>36712003
Well, the plus to this plan is its another square on the guild romance bingo card.

>>36712038
"I'm on the card?"

>>36712003
Not happening...>>36712038Ever.

>>36712084
Soros, true love is a classic.
>>36712079
I don't make the cards, I just cross off squares.

>>36711949
Are talking about the same guild?
I think the one you're thinking of is the small one? The one that's really more just friends, who happen to be assassins, that enjoy baking and take on contracts.
I was ranting about the one that has literally no subtly. Just go around doing whatever they please.
The folks in the first one are okay though.
>>36711991
Really, is Kinetics open? What am I asking, no one wants to head kinetics. Barely a department in the first place. Mind forwarding me a list?
>>36712038
Dang it, I'm going to have to get another one.
Five dimensional checkers was not worth this.

>>36712105
Again I already have a girlfriend. Stabby is not getting in there to talk to him. He'll let him out like he did Jheska.

>>36712131
*magics one up here*

>>36712105
"Alas, my heart belongs to another. Other wise we'd be fucking like rabbits"

>>36712131
"those guilds are one in the same"

>>36712084
"I implore you to reconsider. you think he's like that all the time? no he's like that because you keep him locked up all the time. Just let me talk to him"

>>36712159
Please, If I'd wanted him out, I'd break him out.

>>36712183
Stop mumbling Stabby I can't hear you.

>>36712195
You'd also be very dead. His release alone frags an area.

>>36712223
*CoughPerfectEvasionCough*

>>36712237
>Implying you could dodge an explosion in your face at point blank range with a blast radius.

>>36712159
Soros, this is your laundry list. Right. You can just have this back.
>>36712183
Well, I hope they won't mind if I start a coup then. The is much better leadership available if they're one guild.

>>36712311
Wrong list, anyways that list is irrelevant since my robe got destroyed. Here you go *hands other list*

>>36712302
>Implying I couldn't

>>36712311
"WAIT! are you saying you want to be the head of a guild?"

>>36712345
>Mary sue I can't die ever intensifies.

>>36712392
Rogues take no damage from Aoes all the time.

>>36712427
Justify Getting out of a massive blast radius. Small blasts are dodge able but large one that negate cover would be impossible to get out of the way of.

>>36712506
You want me to justify a rouge power working in small explosion and in big explosion? fine. It works in the same way everything in this setting works. Magic/bullshit/ruleofcool/imagination/whatever+1capeofimvinceability people think of. Rogues hop in their own shadows and avoid the blast then hope back out before the smoke clears and strike a cool pose. Can we please just go back to having fun now instead of arguing about freeform combat?

Alright, looks like I missed everything again... what happened this time?

*wakes up*
I swear I will never drink again

Okay then, I'm going to go to sleep and I look forward to the next mage's guild thread. I'm sorry if I soured the mood for you. Have a good night anon.

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So. I had to dispel a golem made of what I believe to be eggnog, saw my way through what I think was a half-constructed gingerbread house and then ask directions from a skeleton with candy canes hanging of every rib. Just to get to the guildhall.

Good to see you're working so hard on the festivities! Gingerbread was a little lacking however.