>>36837414
Ah, it is good to wander these halls once more! Even though they are of different stone and unfamiliar pane, they are as unchanged and unchanging as all this world.

But I ramble, I can say with pride that this year's holiday caroling will be splendid indeed, as it is under the purview of my department once more. I hope those of you adept at singing and not currently undead will join me in a rousing bit of caroling come this weekend!

>>36837414
>Please, no joyriding the guild hall
Aww, man, I was waiting for my turn since Jheska's first assault, no fair...

>>36837414
What do you mean no prank gifts? They were a fine tradition! I will always treasure the look on my poor apprentice Shadius' face when he opened the box, and that feisty little mimic bit right into his jugular!
>>36837508
Am I still banned from that?

>>36837578
You are, definitely, banned from both.

>>36837414
So nice to have the guild hall back. Now I just need to raise enough captiol to rebuild the orrery. Glad I already know exactly what to get and who my secret santa is.

>>36837578
Yes you are perma-banned still.

>>36837561
Cromina is this a clone or are you really back?

>>36837624
I am back, tough I will explain after the buffet.

>>36837624
I am not certain about my Secret Santa, in fact. It is supposedly someone named "Samantha"? I do not know anyone here by that name...

>>36837606
You can not deny the majesty of my impeccable singing voice!
>>36837624
That was entirely unfair and you know it.

Ah perfect, the guild hall has retained it's familiar multidimensional smell!

And I'm certainly happy to see the return of secret santa this year, is there a restriction on live gifts?

>>36837706
As long as it isn't high maintenance. I swear, there is no bigger faux pas than getting a pet for someone who can't take care of it.

>>36837719
That year in which rage mage was given a dire-tiger still haunts me to this very day....

>>36837414
No harmful gifts and no prank gifts? I think mine might have been borderline on both. Well, it's to late now, I have already delivered them to the apprentices in question.

>>36837668
Fair enough.

>>36837678
She's Noel's apprentice.

>>36837684
It was totally fair, you killed seven people!

>>36837706
Only if they fit the restrictions and can be taken care of as per>>36837719

>>36837414
I must once again repeat my protestations regarding the lack of bar and drinking facilities at the guild hall. How am I supposed to research the greater mysteries of conjuration and demonology without a good self-filling pint of dremorian ale to calm my nerves?

>>36837754
That was fifteen less than the year before!
>>36837768
There is a fantastic bar, right next to the kitchenette. Perfect for getting absolutely smashed and cooking up a storm.

>>36837790
Those 15 previously were accidental! Besides summoning a greater demon was explicitly a made a bannable offense for caroling and you know it!

>>36837809
I didn't "summon" it, I bound it to my vocal cords temporarily! It was such a performance that the bard's college took inspiration from it for a new genre of music!

>>36837578

I must say that I quite agree with Antruthius, as all the gifts I received last year were EXCLUSIVELY explosive runes.

And on the subject of eschewing tradition, there is one tradition I ask that we should consider removing. There's no polite way to put this, so I'll just speak frankly: Stop sending first year acolytes into my sanctum to steal the mason jar that holds my preserved penis. It was the only thing I managed to salvage from the Quantum Sarcophagus that I was shoved into so long ago.

>>36837414

A ban on all prank gifts? Was my self-replicating ruby ooze not the most amusing prank gift?

>>36837845
I'll pass on the word to my students, but I make no guarantees. Just stating you have your penis in a jar is enough to incite them to steal it.

>>36837845
Just because something was done by a group of people with incomprehensible motives does not mean I'm behind it. We've been over this.

>>36837414
Oh for heaven's sake. I got one of the bloody Necromancers in the secret santa draw again!

What the hell am I supposed to get them that DOESN'T involve grave robbing/tomb raiding?

>>36837836
And now all those bards are dead as well as the genre. It was a bad idea and you know it!

>>36837845
You meant his jar? A couple of my 1st years had some real talent this time around. *tosses jar back to Dreadd* My department just won the bet. Thanks.

>>36837869
A black robe and a gift certificate to YE Olde Hotte Topick

>>36837869
Better than who I got, they aren't even an official guild member! As for necromancers, try a death whistle.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9QuO09z-SI

Hey, look what I got from my secret santa, new robes!

>>36837863
>>36837867
>>36837869
>>36837870

KNOW THIS, AND BE FOREWARNED! THE NEXT TO STEAL MY PENIS SHALL BE CURSED BY HAVING WRAITHS SPIRIT AWAY THEIR OWN GENITALIA TO PARTS UNKNOWN!

WRAITHS!

>>36837902
I suggest you stay away from planar portals for a while, friend...

File: 1416185817545.png (1.27 MB, 1280x800)

1.27 MB PNG

>there are still some mages that haven't embraced the perfection of a smaller, cuter female form.

>>36837790
Ah, my good sir you have my deepest thanks. How I could have overlooked this detail I cannot fathom. Perhaps due to it's the level of opium consumption necessary to sustain telepathic contact with na'gash'no'grah the sodomizer without convulsing violently and vomiting. I shall ensconce myself there post haste and sample the various libations that arcane ale-house has to offer.

>>36837870
What is dead can never die, and with strange aeons even death may die. Death metal is eternal and you know it. It's made it big in the negative energy planes, several undead bands gather on atropus to hold a concert on a yearly basis. You're just jealous because I've made a larger contribution to the arts than you.
>>36837909
WELL ITS A GOOD THING I'M NOT BEHIND IT YOU CROTCHETY BIGOT, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T TELL THE FIRST YEARS YOU KEEP YOUR PRIVETS IN A JAR.

>>36837888
> gift certificate

Good lord, man. What do you take me for?

>>36837892
Could work. Where do you get these? Note that if it's only available from some tribal elder in some fly-infested swamp then I'm not interested.

>>36837922
Found the lolimancer.
Listen mate, you can look like whatever you want. But deathspeaking requires strong, mature vocal cords, and you can't grow an imposing and majestic beard as a little girl.

>>36837936
Put out a message to Golgolath the Blighter, he might help.
>>36837929
I'm not going to ask why you're sustaining contact with an entity called the sodomizer, but I wish you the best of luck.

>>36837869
Have you thought about hair dye or eye liner?>>36837909
You realise now you're going to have an influx of apprentices casting spells to detect wraiths across your office willy-nilly now right?

>>36837902
Let me guess they're Crimson aren't they?

>>36837909
Hey my kids already won the department bet for this year. We're good. Watch out for those who want second through seventh though.

>>36837922
I prefer not having to cast a spell in order to grab things off the top shelf.

>>36837933
*snirk* Sure you think that. Good luck getting Stabby a gift.

>>36837936
I can't give you better advice without knowing who it is.

>>36837933

I'll have you know, Conspierre, I never told anyone about it. Someone, and I'm not naming any names, for I have forgotten them, and they are most likely long since dead, invaded my chambers to steal my scroll of test answers for the final of Ages past, and stumbled upon the jar. From there I found that the harder I tried to suppress the information, the fiercer it grew.

At that point I just decided to use it as a learning aide on the importance of proper magical preparation, and to be fair, after I started doing that, accidents within my classes plummeted.

>>36837963
It.....isn't Stabby.

>>36837956

THEY SHALL FIND THAT NOT ONLY MY OFFICE, BUT THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT IS LOUSY WITH WRAITHS!

>>36837909

*sigh* Time to get my Neutrino Wand.

>>36837922
And before you even ask, no you cannot use the cloning vats in my laboratory for the purpose of growing loli-forms. I've already had enough problems with the students using it...

>>36837955
To be honest, he really doesn't do a whole lot of sodomizing anymore. But as you can imagine, once one gets a nickname like "the sodomizer", it's a rather hard one to shake.

>>36837990
Stop telling them your defenses man!
>>36838003
I.....alright then.

>>36837975
Oh...OHHH. Well good luck with that. You have my condolences. Also you might want to have a body ready for a quick dethaw, this'll get ugly.


>>36837990
Didn't stop my kids before, wouldn't stop them now. Like I said got a few ringers in this batch.

>>36837920
Why? Do you think the robe is rigged with some kind of spell? It did smell a bit odd, but I couldn't quite place the smell, could that be it!?

>>36837963
Just looks like regular red to me, but I'm no good with all those colour names, the tag says "Red Robe, what could go wrong?"

br?

>>36838032
Well, red IS an intimidating colour in nature, so you've got that I guess

Reportig for duty, fellow wizards... and I have never been so happy to be here.

>>36838032
Yeah that robe buffs your skills but gives you horrible luck.

>>36838067
Fryja! How are you doing ?

>>36838067
I am glad to see you are well once again.
Tell me, when you felt the pall of death, did you hear the clarion calls of the unnumbered fallen? Or was it the chorus of the honored dead?
Perhaps the grim dirge of the forgotten ancestors?
I have rarely had such chance to explore these things.

>>36838031
The current one is one that Lupa upgraded considerably, but I've got a few spares set up.
>>36838067
Welcome back!

>>36838030

YES, COME, THE WRAITHS ARE IN FACT MY ONLY FORM OF DEFENSE, AND THE SHEER NUMBER OF THEM DO NOT OBFUSCATE ANYTHING ELSE.

Also, Conspierre, I drew you in the Secret Santa thing. it is a puzzle box. Within it is an indeterminate amount of puzzle boxes, a number which grows or shrinks by clandestine methods yet to be revealed. Your prize, should you solve it, is a certain compromising secret of a certain Head of Divination....

>>36838032

What? OH! You're THAT apprentice....
Uh, nothing. Nothing can possibly go wrong. Nothing. Yes sir, nothing bad. Just....uh....stand over there.

>>36837414
My tower! It's beautiful!
It even has a dragon perch! And a small library!
I better warm up my space warping spells, time to move in my equipment!
HAHA! YES!

....So... How is everyone on this wonderful day?

>>36838089
Wait really? I've got a few hundred deaths under my belt after the incident that leveled the previous hall, but I don't think they're standard ones.Body transference and what not.
>>36838102
I....that is extremely thoughtful, thank you!

>>36838067
Let's see, carry the one, account for... Fryia? Is that really you? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?

It's so good to see you back!

>>36838127

I left it for you at the end of our new subterranean maze.

>>36838127
Deaths are easy to come by, revivification is far the rarer, in its true form.
You say that you, too, briefly passed into the Choir Inviolate?

>>36838102
Let me guess the identity of my girlfriend? Or is it about my childhood?

>>36838122
I'm fine, my 1st years won the inter departmental bet, they stole Dreadd's boxed member first. Meaning I get the wager's prize.

>>36838127
Good luck......

Also, on the topic of Christmas, who's choice was it to grant sentinence to all of the decorations, and make them arseholes too?
I've been verbally assaulted by a handful of baubles, and a small tree has fallen on me today alone!

>>36838052
It is isn't it, oh and I think I know what the smell is, it's from the bone dust in one of the pockets.

>>36838069
Horrible luck? How bad could it be?

>>36838105
What, right here under the chandelier? Oh and I got this robe today, couldn't wait for Christmas before opening it, I think some of the other apprentices got theirs from the same secret santa.

>>36838170
Oh, my dear Soros, it is a far deeper one than that. You must remember, that I have no need for sleep, a long memory, and NOTHING but time. Heh heh... Ha ha... Hoo hoo... BWA HA HA HA HA!

Now if you'll excuse me, me and my penis have a meeting we must be off to, I shall return later with, hopefully, grand news.

>>36838122
Oh, you HAVE to see the panic rooms. Not showing you mine, but there's several dozen public ones that I set up with similar enchantments less tailored to my needs. You have no idea how long it took to figure out a one-way antimagic field, but they're just so incredible to work with. And all the new furniture is just so nice, and the kitchens are fantastic, and I could go on!
>>36838139
Oh, this just keeps getting better!
>>36838158
Well, Soros' unwanted guest ate me a few hundred times. Tunnel with light at the end, surrounded by unseeable things speaking in incomprehensible whispers surrounded me the entire time. When I reached the end of the tunnel, I saw only myself, and then I reinhabited myself. You've probably seen it before.
>>36838170
Oh, if I didn't need it it simply wouldn't be a proper gift

>>36838192
Chandelier falling on your from out of nowhere bad.....

>>36838173
Druid prank leftovers it seems. Notice how all the effected items were naturally made and shaped.

>>36838122

Wunderbar, simply wunderbar; my students have gone a week without actually screwing up majorly. A week! Seven days! It's a new record for them. The Christmas season may be making them a little smarter.

>>36838192
Wait, several apprentices? Oh my, I may have you confused.....oh, don't mind me. Stand where you like.

>>36838210
I honestly have nothing else that is "compromising" in me. Mildly embarrassing yes, compromising no.

>>36838213
Fair enough Pierre.

>>36838081
>>36838093
>>36838130
I'm fine, I guess. I've still not mustered the art of walking yet, but at least now my legs are under my control and... oh, QB. How is the witchcraft faculty doing under your direction?

File: Steve.jpg (46 KB, 274x243)

46 KB JPG

Mr. Conspierre! I brought that glowly ball thing you wanted!

*Steve hands the orb to Conspierre*

>>36838170
There was an inter-departmental bet? Damn, I wish I knew
...On second thought, I'm horrible with wagers.

>>36838213
Oh that sounds interesting, I haven't looked into mine yet, I was gonna put some emergency equipment in there. Do you have any idea how boring it was to make due with a chemistry set?

>>36838220
They have? That's marvelous, I only have one or two that manages that so far. The rest manage to trip into rendering vats or douse themselves with substances that aren't for touching skin.
Hell, I remember one time a few of them got eaten in a single day, by a gelatinous cube of all things!

>>36838250

Oh, my students normally do something drastically wrong. The School of Science has a notoriously high fatality rate...
I may have mentioned last month that one of the students tried to juggle jugs of acid. And the debacle with the Potassium Hydroelectric Nitrate....well, let's just say my classrooms are a touch safer without that.

captcha says "Boom", which is what happened

>>36838244
Good, I'm glad you're doing better. Has you finger gotten regrown yet?

>>36838250
Yup. First years only. Each department wagered something about 1k gold in value for prizes. Prizes got to 1stthrough seventh, first getting first pick of 7 items.

>>36838244
Well, progress is always good.
>>36838247
Uh.....well. That certainly is something Steve. Good lord what is that thing...
>>36838250
Oh, I believe it. I'm still working on setting mine up, can't wait until its finished.

>>36838244
How has the faculty been you ask? Well to put it simply; I WAS NOT READY!

But mostly it's been fine, lot of work taking over though, all these papers, all these people, all this work! We almost left the previous inhabitant of the swamp we settled the new guild hall in homeless, but that worked out in the end.

Oh and thanks to Noel and her apprentice I got some research done for the Magical Girl's Department done recently too, been doing calculations and compiling notes ever since.

>>36838213
Ah, you have tread the path of the Distant Now!
I would suggest you seek absolution, that path is not one that good men tread.

>>36838332
Well, the whispering was all voices I've used. Does that mean anything significant?

Come to think of it - has anybody noticed a particularly old and well-worn brass pocketwatch lying around? I cannot for the life of me remember if I misplaced it, lent it, or gave it away...

>>36838370
*finds it in a wine bottle* This it?

What a beautiful building, but when I cheched the top floors, they seemed a bit hastily put together. There were drafts that let in clouds, none of the floorboards squeaked right, and it smelled of burnt sapphires. I'll tell you all what, to save yourselves from having to delegate those floors to some poor school or department, I'll volunteer the dellusionists to take up those atrocious levels.

>>36838365
Usually on the path one hears his or her own regrets and losses in their own voice. You, having used many voices, heard all of them.

>>36838388
Good gracious Soros, I'm here for less than a minute and you've already mistaken one thing for another. Sometimes, I wonder if you're really a proper diviner at all!

>>36838330
Yes, I knew. Forgive me for my weakness, new Head of Witchcraft, Quin Bradley. Yet I'm sure you picked up the basis pretty well: it is good to see I was not wrong about your potential. You've grown a splendid witch, my dear.
>>36838319
Not yet, I've resolved putting a steel claw where it used to be.
>>36838323
About that, Conspierre, I've been informed about other kinds of... progress, regarding the alliances of the mage guild. Is she truly around here? Tell me, Pierre.
>>36838319
Not yet, I've resolved to put a steel

>>36838395
It was rather unsettling, I can say that.
>>36838418
Well, I no longer trust my own judgement on that front. But Soros has vouched for her, and seeing how she reacted to her mother showing up, coupled with her helping against Soros when he completely lost his shit, I don't think she's a threat. Not more than any of us at least.

>>36838418
Sorry, been a long night. Thought you asked something else. But yes, she is here. Currently doing something in her own quarters, but here in the hall somewhere.

>>36838388

My good sir, that is an empty wine bottle.

>>36838446
>>36838460
I was talking about the drow, Pierre. Thank you for your swift briefing. How am I supposed to act around her?

>>36838417
Look in the wine bottle, there a pocket watch of some sort in it. Can't tell the material composition of it without a spell, something I'm not willing to spend at the moment.

>>36838418
Is that necessary, I'm sure the flesh warper or healers can repair the damage to it.

>>36838465
It was a moment ago full with a pocket watch in it. Curious.

>>36837414
And I can vouch for the improved public bath, I feel positively refreshed!

>>36838418
I'm to happy to see you back to really be mad at you, but if that wasn't the case I would drop the title back in your lap and enjoy a nice research filled vacation. I heard rumours that Daylight Breaker magical girl has been sighted but I'm to busy with the Witchcraft Faculty to investigate!

*Knocks on the door*
Helooo? I got a Letter for the Mage's Guild.

>flies through a window and crashes through a wall
Ack. Well it appears gravity and I are on speaking terms again.
Sorry about the wall, but anyways how goes it everyone?
>>36838370
Pocketwatch? I think I saw an apprentice dancing on the roof of the mess hall with one.

>>36838479
I....do not know. Truly. I believe that more than anything, she is curious about you.

>>36838505
But Mr. Conspierre! Didn't we spend a whole day spying on them?

>>36838498
Well you have come to the right place then, care to open it and read it for us?

>>36838418

I could get some of the more technically inclined students to rig a suitable steel claw contraption up for you if you wish. It'd be best if you supervise the students, otherwise you might end up with some kind of rotating serrated-edged blade of some description.

>>36838482
Huh, curious.

>>36838500
Perhaps that is something to look for. I do have my students scouring for it as we speak, so perhaps they might see him, or her. I hope they remembered to fuel the jetpacks.

>>36838517
Those were different drow Steve, the one we have staying here is a princess. Remember what I told you about them?

>>36838482
A pocket watch? In a wine bottle? That's positively ludicrous, neither glassblower nor distiller could perform an act. Now, if it were a magical bottle of wine, that's believable, but who needs time when you have wine?

Ahhhhh men I LOVE the buffet, I could give away my arcane power for an endless one. What's shaking, guys?
>>36838479
Oh, it is you. Fryia. No hate whatsoever?

>>36838500
Oh come on now Ivan, we just got that rebuilt.

>>36838067
FRYIA!

>>36838494
Of course you can. *snickers* Fryja is up and about by the way. Also *snickers* you fell for the illusory clothes trick again.

>>36838498
Read it please.

>>36838531
Indeed, is the watch magic?

>>36838535
Magical watch you lunkhead.

Here is your coffee folks

>>36838539
Yes of course, you don't need any powers when you have food. Please, tell me more about the specific extent of your powers.

>>36838574
Thank you kindly Mortimer, always on time.

>>36838573
How can you tell it's magical when it's in a bottle of wine.

>>36838534

A Drow princess? Here? This is indeed news to me! I really need to spend less time in my laboratory and more time in these meetings and such.

>>36838535
Although I'd usually agree with you, the pocket watch I'm talking about was infused without its previous owners spirit many centuries ago, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was he who entered the bottle, consumed the wine, and fled to go shake it up with an apprentice.
>>36838573


>>36838539
Indeed *grabs a plate with some lunch meats* the buffet is quite good. One of the reasons why I enjoy these meetings.

>>36838574
Ah Mortimer! Just on time.

>>36838505
I'm tempted to avoid her, I will not lie.
>>36838497
If you need anything to be done, just ask to me. You are the boss now.
>>36838531
why not, thank you. Much obliged.
>>36838539
No hate cromia, fear not.
>>36838562
Hey gorgeous. I missed you.

>>36838534
*Steve begins to count his fingers*

1. Brown Skin
2. Knife Ears
3. Very mean
4. They like BDSM
I still don't know what that is
5. uh

Steve looks at his hand with wide, confused eyes

>>36838574
Ahh, like the worshipful sighs of the blessed dead is your coffee, Mortimer. Much appreciated.

>>36838498
Oh good, a letter. I remember the last time we got a letter addressed to the whole guild.
>>36838549
I'm sorry. Temporal distortions, mistakes were made. Would you like me to fix it with some lightning? Don't answer that. I'll pay for the reconstructions.
>>36838574
Mort. How's the garden, no catastrophes this week hopefully?

>>36838574
And the day get's even better, thank you Mortimer.

Oh and can you get one for the apprentice under the chandelier(>>36838192), from the silence I think he might be frozen in fear or something and I'm loving every second of it.

>>36838608

If you remember the last time we got a letter addressed to the guild it was bad news. Bad news indeed.

>>36838529
Y-yes, sir!
"Wizards, Sorceres, Artificers, Witches, Summoners and Warlocks of the Mage's Guild. Through this letter we, the Circle of Druids, Wardens of Nature and Protectors of the Land, want to inform you through this letter, that our alliance is over. We, the Circle of Druids, were forced to this decision due to internal pressur. Be prepared for what might come.
In the name of the Circle of Druids, the Archdruid."

>>36838600
Don't smash spiders if they'll find out about it. Now remember, mind your manners around princesses.

http://youtu.be/T4kxlY2_nqo?t=4s

>>36838573
Dammit again?!
>>36838598
Hold up I'll be right back, someone needs their block fired.

>>36838620

>>36838618

>>36838620
Ooooh, I think he found out about the souffle.

>>36838575
I sense a trap, ya know? You're not fooling anyone.
>>36838600
I am positive to 2 of them. Am I an half elf?
>>36838598
phew.

File: 5ed barbarian.png (444 KB, 622x894)

444 KB PNG

Sup, nerds? You having a circle jerk or something?

>>36838620
The Druids have broken their alliance? I suspect that this is inter-guild trickery! Whoever tries to incite violence between us shall know better than to spurn the honor of the deceased!

>>36838574
Much obliged Mortimer *takes mug*

>>36838591
Master Diviner I can read magic.

>>36838593
Nor would I be surprised.

>>36838539
*grabs a plate and fill it with a little of everything*

>>36838620
Just on schedule. *lobs a ball in to my labs to start things rolling*

>>36838633
You need to either invest in a ring of true seeing or become a nudist at this rate.

>>36838593
Here you go sir
>>36838603
Thank you for the compliment sir
>>36838608
The garden is doing fine, thank you.
>>36838616
of course sir
>>36838192
You look familiar

>>36838620
Did I say the day get's even better? Because I feel I should say it again.

My good mailman you are a bringer of good news, here have this amulet, it should keep you safe on your mail route.

>>36838650
Do I need to club you?
>>36838654
What was that?

>>36838633
I'm waiting for you, be right back my dear.
>>36838655
Mortimer. How's the coffee today?

>>36838621
But Conspieeeere! Spiders are scary!

>>36838648
I think so!

>>36838650
Steve excitedly waves at Chet*

I didn't know you were a mage!?

Hello one and all! I see the new Guild Hall is finished. Anyways I have brought gifts! The Cult of Changing Tides have just defeated a new ArchDevil known as Thezekar the Devil Maker. He was somehow able to make new kinds of Devils and had created a whole slew of them. So I have brought 160 Devil Souls that are attuned to many different kinds of magic!

>>36838668
You desire conflict? I can understand animosity, but nothing good comes from fighting. Only more wasteful death.

>>36838671
Good as always. It is also good to see you again

>>36838652
T-the Archdruid handed it to me personally, but he didn't look very happy about it. P-please don't turn me into a newt for bringing you bad news
>>36838668
T-thanks kind sir.

>>36838655
I think it's the robe, I got it today I'm starting to think it's been used. Thanks for the coffee.

>>36838670
Some party favors for the druids getting underway....

>>36838706
Was there a female drow in his company?

>>36838712
It has. A word of advice, never leave the hall wearing it
>>36838721
of course

>>36838706
I have no issue with you, purveyor of packages. But should you stop by the Druid's Circle again, let them know that the Deathspeakers are ill at ease with this action.

>>36838712
Honestly, I'm amazed that you're still alive after wearing the robe for that long.
>>36838680
I know Steve, but the drow like spiders a lot and it upsets them if they see you smashing them.
>>36838721
We don't even know if she's still a drow, or even female at this point.

>>36838684

I'm afriad I must.....
Oh to hell with it! I'll take a few of those, perhaps I can use them in some sort of controlled golem experiment.

>>36838706
Don't be afriad my good man! We haven't turned any mailman into a newt for...oh, over a thousand years.

>>36838728
I'd have to agree with Mortimer; never leave the hall wearing the red robes. I can say no more on the subject.

>>36838686
Do you have any idea how much I despise those druids? The only thing that kept me through the whole alliance thing was that they had to suck it up and be civil even after what I did to their old grove.

>>36838680
Something wrong with spiders?
>>36838648
Oh my, I hope you are not! I was looking for my teacher Noel, so, could you please...
>>36838671
... it is you. Make peace with your gods and prepare to be smote.

>>36838618
Yes I remember, once we opened the letter giant shrimp fell on everyone...No wait, that was the letter before the last one. The courtyard smelled like shrimp for months though. Disgusting.
>>36838620
Ah those silly druids. Couldn't even send a representative. Hm. Maybe send a few extra storms their way. Just to mess with them.
>flips a gold coin
Get yourself something nice.

>>36838770
>quickened greater invisibility.

>>36838770
Wait, your mother no longer occupies that body!

>>36838770
Sigh. And I was doing so well lately with being right about things. Jheska, that's not your mother. If you attack her, Noel will likely incinerate you.

>>36838721
No but I felt an evil force lurking around and a very unhealthy looking man stood behind him.
>>36838732
I-i don't want to go back there...
>>36838758
Thats good to hear.

>>36838769
Exactly, they have shown respect to you, as I do even though you are a necromancer, and I expect you to do the same for them.

>>36838769

Don't remind me.

>>36838770
Now, now. Be civil! This is a Mage's Guild Annual Meeting. We have standards to set.

>>36838680

*nods at steve*

Vaginomancer, bro.

What are you doing hanging around these dorks?

OK, I'm back with actual clothes on-
>>36838770
HEY HEY, don't fry Fryia, she's not possessed and stuff!

>>36838802
Damn, and I had such a nice gift for golgolath too. Ah well, I'm sure someone will eat this.

>>36838802
Oh fuck.

>>36838728
Don't worry its all according to plan.

>>36838746
Can you imagine her being sensible to stuff her pride and not be one?

>>36838769
Don't take it out on the mailmen then, just hit them directly.

>>36838770
You mom fled that body when Antruthius tried to decomm it and the World eater tried to eat it. leave off child.

>>36838802
Bugger. Description please. Was he so pale he looked vaguely blue?

>>36838770
Calm down. It's the holidays, there's no need for this. And what Mortimer and Pierre said.
>>36838802
You might want to step back a bit.

>>36838770
>>36838793
Both of you. SIT. DOWN.
This is the mages guild, not some village green out in bumfuck nowhere.
You will show this organization and its members proper respect or be thrown into the infinite space between planes until you calm down or starve to death, or both.
Which one of those do not concern me.
So SIT. DOWN.
Have a cup of tea, it's lovely, and talk like adults or be vaporized like petulant children.

>>36838648
A trap? Nooo, not at all. I just want to know all about your... uh... Exploits! Yes, I wanted to know all about your exploits and adventures, and what spells you have used and so on.

>>36838813
Sir, you are cruising for a clubbing

>>36838795
>>36838799
>>36838826
>>36838835

I do know, wizards. She is Fryia the Crow, apprentice to my mother, the woman that took my mother's love away from me. Lolth demands you to be destroyed, wizard! Prepare thyself!
>>36838847
Shush!

>>36838804
Well I'm still here and not out there making the first strike. And that's all the respect they are going to get for now.

>>36838835
Take a closer look on the amulet Soros, it is a protective amulet... Oh wait, I gave him one of the ones that radiate an aura of evil didn't I? I'll be right back...

>>36838835
No he was kinda greenish, and very fat, also he smelled very bad. He wore a moldy robe, I-i hope that can help...
>>36838843
W-why? Please I have children and a loving wife!

Good evening everyone, sorry I'm a bit late.

>>36838746
Oka-

>>36838770
uh buh buh buh NO MA'AM NOT AT ALL

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>36838857
>club over head

>>36838857
Your mother never had love for anyone, you know that damn well. Or are you really so eager to win the affection of someone who lost Lloth's favor?

>>36838857
No need to be hasty, I harbor no hate toward you! Please restrain or I'll have to put you down. Don't make me do that.

>>36838857
Your mother was a bitch who only loved herself, She never loved you as she had none to give all she was capable of was taking and taking and taking til there was nothing left. Leave off or I will stop you.

>>36838862
Please do.

>>36838872
The mold magician with the beard. Great. At least it wasn't Jake'ness or A fragment of the world eater.

>>36838857
Don't make me Mortify you, dear. It would be an unfortunate end. Your mother is gone now, but her cold heart and vile mind was the fault of no one save herself.

>>36838835
Ah Soros, good day to you! Here I have a gift for you, the soul of a Divining Devil known as the All-seeing Fiend. It should prove to be useful in some way.

>>36838758
>>36838812
Ah, then I have some good souls for you. A Diamond Devil soul, an Anti-Weapon Devil Soul, and a Speed Demon Soul.

>>36838862
Ah, Mr... I don't believe I know your name. Anywho, here is a Gravedigger Devil Soul.

>>36838843
Ivan! It is I Lurco! I have a soul for you, a soul of a Boom Devil!

>>36838857
Ah, little princess. I have a soul for you too! The soul of a Spider Devil.

>>36838847
Marus! A Treant Devil Soul for you.

>>36838905
Fryia, good to see you again child. I have a soul for you, the soul of a Hex Devil.

>>36838826
And last but not least, Noel! I have a Lava Devil soul for you, which may help in using the earth to your fiery advantage.

>>36838885
>>36838906
I...I knooooow! B-ut still! Waaaahhhh!

>>36838907
Mortify? Really?

>>36838654
How do you know that the wine itself isn't a master horologist?

>>36838857
>>36838905

Both of you need to do as Marus said and be calm! Sit yourselves down at opposite ends of the table. Cool off. And talk it out like adults. And if you cant talk it out, you can at least not talk to each other at all.
And mind the dust.

>>36838598
Wait, I'm the boss of you? Huh?
...
I think my brain broke, give me a second.

>>36838857
Nope, nooooope, you are not going to hurt Fryia or I'm going to make sure you are in a world of hurt.
...somehow.

File: flames-and-fire-jpg.jpg (700 KB, 1600x1227)

700 KB JPG

>>36838857
Flame wall.
Now cool it, Drow, being a hothead is my shtick.

>>36838963
Hothead? At least put some effort in to it

>>36838906
HEY! It's not nice to talk about people's mothers like that!

>>36838936
ooh! ooh! ooh! is there a soul for me too!

>>36838936
Oh my, you spoil me... Hand it over please?

>>36838941
Oh come now child. Here, have anotherr sweet.
If you want, I can show you the new book I got, it tells everything about every spider in the known world, and some that isn't.
I got it from a priest of Lolth, and it's approved by their priesthood as no spiders were permanently harmed in its making.
So, what do you say? Do you want to borrow it to read?

>>36838936
That will be most useful thank you. *collects it in pick stone*

>>36838941
I know it hurts youngling, but its the truth. We may be horrible people but at least we care enough about you to keep you from being lied too, even if then one lying is yourself.

>>36838950
Unenchanted wine ya dingus.

>>36838937
>>36838962

We have a break in the space-time continuum! Everybody better hold onta ya butts!

>>36838948
Have you ever seen a person mortified? Nasty business, I don't like doing it.
>>36838963
Aagh, Gods!! I have told you all about my Pyrophobia! Please do NOT do that without warning!

>>36838941
Fryia is not your enemy, I promise you that.

>>36838906
I think he was another Druid....B-but you must be right, sir! Y-you know a lot more than a mere mortal mailman.

>>36838963
Do not, my dear. I can handle this.
>>36838941
Come here, little one. I can understand you.
>hug

>>36838976
The use of lame puns is an art all in itself.

>>36838990
Think harder about the word
>>36839002
I know that

>>36838998
Oh calm down, we're not going to hurt you. Help yourself to the buffet, you've certainly come a ways.
>>36839002
Been meaning to ask this for a while, how exactly do your shadows work?

>>36839001
An endearing sight. Would it only that more conflicts could be solved so, there would be far less dishonored dead in the world.

>>36838977
You've never met Jheska the witchmaid and traitoress have you? It's completely justified.

>>36838998
Here mailman Take this blessed mailbag and go in peace and happiness. Merry Christmas.

>>36838989
<Chronometria> Fixed.

>>36839002
Isn't it though?

>>36839001
D'aww.

>>36838936
And not many do, it's been a while since I last used it. Well, any of my names really, one do pick up a few extra over the years.

>>36838998
You have done very well, now let me replace that amulet, it seems I gave you the wrong one. Have a calming potion as well as an apology, you look like you could use it.

>>36838963
Excuse me, but who are you? As far as Im aware I am the only Master Pyromancer here, and I hardly believe one would just pop up.

>>36838978
Yes.. please...
>>36839001
I...I! I'm sooooorry!

>>36838936

Store the souls in these here Soul Jars. And thank you.

>>36839021
Indeed. But...no, I cannot say it without disturbing the delicate balance of the continuum.

>>36839028
Such a rough patch, but it will do.

>>36839040
*puts on fireproof smock* Oh boy.

>>36839020
I-i know but you see when I was small, my mother always told me that Witches and Wizards are going to hurt me if I misbehave..
>>36839028
Merry Christmas kind Sir! I will go now if nobody needs me anymore...
>>36839036
Thank you kind Sir!

>>36839046
Betrayal hurts more than anything else, but you're a stronger and person than your mother could ever be.
>>36839040
Noel's headed the Pyromancy department for. What year is it? A long time.

>>36839040
You must be a new member here.
>>36839046
It is alright, dear. Your ancestors smile upon your pardon.

>>36839048
Try to stay out of Chronomancy if possible. Still picked up a few tricks.


>>36839046
Let it out young one.

>>36839040
Oh boy this'll be good. She's been here for a long while.

>>36839069
We mages aren't all bad now go and enjoy your holiday.

>>36839059
You don't happen to have a spare do you?

>>36839046
You can come and read it in my tower any time you want, and you can look in the other books too. If you behave.

>>36839072
Lord and lady, I don't even remember anymore.

>>36839100
Good bye sir!

>>36839102
here

>>36839069
Oh no, only if you're completely useless. You've been quite useful and have shown dedication and perseverance in your profession, overcoming an extreme personal fear in order to do so.
>>36839046
I'm sorry for what you've had to go through.

>>36839040
I am Noel, no last name, I am the head of teaching and researching duties of flame magics. I learned under Ashburn and more importantly Elizabeth, Crone of Flames.

>>36839108
Oh we'd be remiss if you came all this way and left with nothing much, here, have a Gryphon egg from me. It should help you in your travels.

>>36839112
Thank you Mortimer. *puts it on*

>>36838978
Yes, Here you go. *Hands over a brown, leaf-shaped crystal that glows green*

>>36838977
Hm, ah what weapon do you prefer?

>>36839048
Will do. *releases three souls and guides them into the jars*

>>36839036
Ah, yes I can see how that can be a problem, almost forgot my name on 15 separate occasions. Do you want the Gravedigger Devil soul?

>>36839001
Is this really how you treat me Fryia. After all the worrying I did for you? Then I might just not give you this Hex Devil soul.

And the little princess is ignoring me too. And Ivan. AND EVEN NOEL!!!

HOW HARD IS IT TO NOTICE A 10-FOOT WHITE DEVIL WITH A SILVER AURA!!

>>36839046

So my dear, how are your studies and what are you studying?

>>36839100
Too late for me for that Soros, I already "experimented" with the Chronosphere.

>>36839102
I don't think many of us even recall the year or when we first started teaching here. It's as if...we've just been here forever.

>>36839120
HA! Elizabeth, the ol' crone. Mein gott, the things she'd get into....no wonder your wall of flame looked so familiar. What's the old lady up to these days?
And Ashburn....well that's a name I haven't heard in many a year.

>>36839100
I can attest to that, chronomancy will ruin you. No offense to any practitioners of Chromancy, it just screws with me too much.
>>36839108
Hold a moment.
>tosses a gemstone
Green is for clear skies, red is for storms, gray is for clouds, and blue is for rain. It should be accurate within the next two hours. Godspeed.
>>36839146
Sorry. Still getting some temporal feedback. Remind me what a boom devil is, please?

>>36839046
Your mother was an horrible person, little one. Both of us learned it the rough way, so do not the same mistake I did and never trust her anymore. If you want, I will be here for you. You'll never be alone anymore
>>36839146
be quiet lurco, she is shaken. I'm glad to see you again. thank you for what you have done for me.
>>36839120
She is also beautiful. Did I mention?

>>36839113
Thank you for your kind words! *bows deep*
>>36839137
I-i don't have words for this, thank you for this gift Sir! *bows deep*
>>36839175
Such a precious gift, I thank you very much kind sir!
But I have to go now. I wish you all happy hollidays! *goes*

>>36839146
it took them a while to realize I'm a half-giant. give it some time

>>36839158
Still inhabiting that old dead city in the underground. I hear she occasionally comes out though.

>>36839146
Shhhh, just let them have the moment.
>>36839177
Oh, that is just heartwarming.

>>36839146
If you are offering without any strings attached then yes, I got an experiment in the old grove I could use it in. You really should come by an see it if you have the time. Imagine a druid grove, then turn all the trees into bones. And that's just the start of it, I call it my bone garden.

>>36839158
I meant to say I tried, Spelleye picks up spells whether you want it too or not. Just be careful alright?


>>36839146
They are having an emotional moment, trauma first then gifts. Relax Lurco.

>>36839175
Yeah eventually you run into it as a Diviner, hell some diviner use it to maintain their image if they get a prediction wrong.

>>36839177
>>36839195
Isn't it though?

>>36839193

You're a half-giant?!

>>36839146
Oh wow, this is fascinating. Thank you Lurco.

>>36839192
Oh it's no bother, it eats mostly meat though, but I reckon that's a fair trade for flying.

>>36839146
I don't know what to tell you Lurco, after a while you just stop seeing race, unless you're a bigotry-mancer ofcourse.

>>36839217
yes, yes I am

>>36839177
A-aight...
>>36839210
>blushing intensifies

>>36839020
In the first age, Aetherius made a ritual using the power of the demon lord he defeated. The ritual killed him, bound his soul to the shadow of his son, and created the Red Shadow.
The first thing the shadow does is bond our souls to the ritual so when we die, we can continue to advise the family as the shadow is passed on to the youngest direct relative. For its main purpose, each soul retains its memory's when bound, and can be called to posses the bearer when needed.
Second, it acts as a sort of battery, where each soul can generate and store a small percentage of what they could in their body.
Third, it has a few abilities involving the shadow and souls it holds, and binding new souls to it. For example the Shadow Sheild, and the Ritual of Red Soul Binding.
It does a few more things, and overall, it has vast utility.

>>36839210
I never should have started the creation of the 'sphere in the first place, but it is done and dusted. It's been several months since I touched it last, and we shouldn't NEED to use it again.

>>36839225
I'm sorry I never noticed! But when you're as old as me...you start to see less of the race and more of the person. Like Marus, the old bastard.

>>36839264
I don't mind

>>36839146
Well my dad trained me how to use swords! But I also have fun with axes!

So maybe an axe!

>>36839194
Noel, have you had any more use for the, transformation? I got some notes and I think I have found a way to modify it to give you an outfit that's about, hmm... 5% less revealing.

>>36839245
Awwww...

>>36839245
Here, here, aren't you cute?
>>36839194
Can't we adopt her? Please?

>>36839177
Fryia, please, not in front of this Phoenix guy.

>>36839264
I don't think I'm that old, am I?
...What year is it?

>>36839260
Sorry about being so long winded in my explanation, I am quite proud of the power I habe been given.

>>36839120
Ah, well then, a pleasure to meet you Madame. I am David Leviathan, the Phoenix Commander. I am the Master Pyromancer of the Ashendale Kingdom and leader of its Mages in times of War. I learned under Master Revenant and the Lord of War, Master Eliphas.

>>36839245
Well, good a time as any. I don't know if you're familiar with the tradition of the secret santa, but what it means up here is that we draw names out of a hat and get a gift for that person. So....here you go. I tracked down the lost circlet of Jheska the First. It has some impressive protective spells on it apparently, I wasn't able to examine its abilities too closely.

>>36839146
Sorry, I have a one track mind at times.

>>36839245
*pats head affectionately*

>>36839264
Fair enough. A warning though if you do use it, you lose what you most love.

>>36839305
As if that would stop her.

>>36839308
I'm over two millennia old.

>>36839245
>passes out from nosebleed

>>36839175
Well, I can't really remind you as to what it is because it is a newly created Devil by a recently appointed and killed ArchDevil, Thezekar the Devil Maker. A Boom Devil specializes in creating bone-shattering noises.

>>36839207
Yep, I felt it was the perfect occasion to give gifts to most of the members of the Mage's Guild. And what an interesting garden.

>>36839222
Yes, but the thing is, I am the only being known as an Anti-Devil that exists. Fine. It's not like anybody has that much respect for me around here. And don't worry. To me you're probably still a child age wise. And just in case you forgot I was a Human about 8 months ago.

>>36839334
Bah, forget it. Do you want the soul?

>>36839311
Oh no, it's quite interesting.

>>36839294
If you make that miniskirt look like a miniskirt rather than a washcloth, be my guest.
>>36839298
You want us to adopt a Drow princess?

>>36839217
Would you believe me if I said that I'm a crossdressing illusionist masquerading as a man for the past 400 years?
>>36839245
Just remember to keep your temper. There's no need for violence. Most of the time. Between friends...
Okay just don't throw the first spell here. It gets messy quick.
>>36839311
No need to apologize, James. It's really interesting. You have good reason to be proud.

>>36839346
HAH! I KNEW I WAS OLDER THAN YOU!!!

>>36839346
You are that age? Well... That certainly puts things into perspective...
Then yes, I suppose I am old then.

>>36839367
I could officiate the matter, adoption is, surprisingly, within my purview.

>>36839351
Certainly.

>>36839294
Quin, I need you to look at this orb Steve dragged in for me.
>Levitates the 1 ft diameter glowing purple orb over to Quin
I think it's your department. Please be careful with it.

>>36839392
>>36839386
I am two thousand three hundred and twelve years old by standard chronological dating. Time displacement from planar warping and chronomancy does not count, or I would be far older.

>>36839311

Heritage, boy. Heritage. If you don't pass down the stories then the next generation isn't going to pass it down, and etcetera.

>>36839346
Well...

>>36839367
Adopt a Drow? Never have I heard such an idea before! It's actually...quite interesting. You have my blessing.

>>36839374
Son, when you're as old as I am, not a lot of things surprise you. Hell, I can't even remember my age, although I suspect I was hit with some form of ageless spell or experiment in my late fifties. I do wish for my hair to choose which colour to become; brown or grey.

>>36839346
>>36839348
>>36839331
>>36839294
Watch them, little princess >>36839245
. They are not going to judge you, nor stab your back... most of the time. Here you do not need to be afraid of anything.
>>36839367
You don't?

>>36839328
Pleasure's mine, I'm afraid the position of Head of Pyromancy has been mine for awhile now after Jake'ness' dismissal, quite a thing really, they even over looked my age.

>>36839298
Must. Not. Give in. Oh who am I kidding, sure.

>>36839367
I'll see what I can do, no promises.

>>36839415
Ooooooh, this looks familiar, reminds me of the one Samantha have. Let's see, unclaimed, unused... I think at least. Any idea where Steve found it?

>>36839357
Considering the sheer numbers of souls it has collected over the millennia, it has enough energy for me to cast spells like the healing spell Aetherius used for days without losing a third of its power. Of course, casting ridiculous things like that is a bit of a strain on me when it uses my relatively young body as a conduit.

>>36839457
I don't know, but it's got some juice behind it. Steve doesn't usually wear a kilt, and it turned into pants as soon as he dropped the orb. He also has a disturbing amount of...mundaneness about him. Zero magic whatsoever, but not in a disruptive way.

>>36839441
Ah, I see. Ive been dead for a little bit, so Im slightly out of the loop on some things. What year is it?

>>36839423
But counting for all those other things would you be 4 million years old?

>>36839393
>>36839441
Okay Noel, here you go. *Hands over a black, square crystal that glows red-orange*

alright, I have to go. bye folks

>>36839471
That's incredible, and there's minimal feedback from using such spells?

>>36839435
Well I really don't know, I mean this is so sudden and all. Not to mention I already gave the girl such a hard time.

>>36839471
Boom. Hehe... Oh, right, I could probably help you strengthen it a bit if you'd like.

>>36839507
Take care Mortimer.

>>36839507
Have a pleasant evening Mortimer.

>>36839507
Bye Mortimer, merry christmas!

>>36839367
>>36839435
What? W-wah, I...I mean, I'm not... I am 165 yeras old, I'm not a child anymore!
>>36839331
This...is an ancient relic of my grand-grandmother, a long lost artifact of my people! How did you manage to...?

>>36839506
Nnnneat.
>>36839494
Pffff, like I know.

>>36839507
Farewell, Mortimer.
>>36839535
Adoption is one of the greatest decisions I have made, it will be a blessing to your life. This girl is clearly repentant, and Anfarthon has told me that she is a fine young woman as well.

stop leaving your reagents all wily nilly in the brewery you fukkin gits. people keep comin to me asking what i mix my brews with and i keep tellin them it aint the brew

>>36839507

Stay safe my friend!

>>36839523
You should have seen my grandfather before he died. If I tried to use any of the spells he flung out like fireballs, I would probably evaporate.

>>36839351
I can certainly put that to use. Thank you, Lurco. I don't carry much on my person, or else I'd lose things constantly. I have an amulet that'd let you pass through walls though.
>>36839432
I was asking the question more as a gag really. If I really wanted to surprise you, I'd say check basement 476 of the old guild hall. Stuff gets freaky when something isn't supposed to exist.
>>36839494
Your guess is as good as ours. You'd be better off asking some one in town.
>>36839507
Goodbye Mort. Safe travels, happy holidays, and what not.
>>36839552
It's Pierre. Don't question him too hard. I doubt he ever knows what we think he knows, and improvises most of the time.

>>36839565
Well, last time I was alive, the Overlord was amassing his armies against the Elven Kingdom if that gives you an idea as to how long Ive been dead.

>>36839552
Raided the ruined house that shall not be named. They pilfered a number of things before Soros and I were contracted out to destroy them.

>>36839552
Oh.. Sweet summer child..

>>36839582
No, no. It is a gift from the Cult to the Guild.

>>36839484
Oh wow, I haven't even heard of anything like this before... I wonder... this could be a source. Yes, yes that makes sense, this isn't a magical girl transformation thingy, it's the raw material for one! Oh I need to grab my notes, any my tools... but first.

>>36839535
Noel, I think I worked out the kinks for your transformation, you can try it whenever you feel like it. I say it got a 2% chance of still looking the same, but you can improve your odds by picturing the old outfit modified.

>>36839582
Oh yeah? What if I told you we're all just in some kind of construct simulation being controlled by higher beings?
>>36839581
I should have liked to see him in action

>>36839552
What then? I'm 446, I am old enough. And as an elf you are basically a child at that age.
>>36839535
Come on noel, she need our guidance and more important, our motherly love! Don't you have something like that deep inside yourself?

>>36839608
Oh goodie, I had a feeling it seemed important. Merry Christmas Quin.

>>36839582

Oh they still have that....thing in 476? I thought they would have gotten rid of it by the time I came back from holiday.

>>36839552

*Steve laughs*

Get a load of this, Conspierre!

165 Years Old!

>>36839507
Bye Mortimer.

>>36839506
No but I doubt you've gone toe- to-toe with entire pantheons.

>>36839552
Conspierre is good at fining lost things.

>>36839591
It was a very fun time wasn't it? Oh the looks on their faces when they figured out their inevitable doom!

>>36839608
If you need help with shaping use resonance magic for it, safest way.


>>36839635
Yes they do, it keeps coming back like a bad rash.

>>36839622
Well, oooooh you convinced me Fryia, we can adopt her.

>>36839655
Elves live a loooong time Steve.

>>36839582
>>36839591
I shall thank you, esteemed conspiromancer.
>>36839457
Please, restrain yourself. I-i am in no need to be adopted, not at all, I-I swear. I'm perfectly fine by myself...

>>36839589
Oh man, you've been dead for a very long time.

>>36839608
If you need any help with that, I did visit a universe where transformations were the only use of magic. I could compare our system to theirs.
>>36839616
I would say that's anticlimactic, really.
>>36839602
And this is gift from me to the Cult. Walls can be really inconvenient sometimes...like when I smashed through one earlier. Hindsight... Just take the amulet.
>>36839635
You're thinking of 376. We only add 450 basements, but this one kept bleeding in from a different world. It's really weird.
>>36839656
Pantheons? I thought it was just the two, Soros. Don't tell me you didn't invite me for others.

>>36839667
It's a christmas miracle!
>>36839656
Right?
>>36839685
You are very welcome Jheska, merry christmas.

>>36839667
Lovely! Would you like me to conduct the ceremony, then?
>>36839685
Trust me, your highness, you'll be better for it. Having a parental figure is important in a person's life!

>>36839688
Like how long are we talking, couple hundred or a couple thousand? Because I honestly am curious.

>>36839629
A Merry Christmas to you to Cospierre, and thank you for the gem.

>>36839656
Hmm... If you say so.

>>36839685
But you look so cute with Friya! How could I say no? How could you say no?

>>36839711
I will take any help I can get, thank you.

This all reminds me, which calendar are we using currently?
I don't actually recognize any of the names on the one my apprentices use.

>>36839685
No, you do. Now tell me, child, is Jheska our true name?
>>36839589
I'm not even sure I was alive back then.
>>36839667
Love you, noel. Hey, check it out, my gift for you is a drow child! Merry Christmas!

>>36839730
Excuse me, do you have a license to perform an adoption ceremony? I'll handle this, don't worry.

>>36839591

Sounded like it was one hell of an adventure. I miss those days, adventuring, swashbuckling. Raiding dungeons and the local tavern of their wen....*ahem*
Yes, wunderbar days.

>>36839685
I disagree girl, you sound like you may need a role model. And Noel and Fryia are decent people.

>>36839711
I can't honestly remember the basement, just what was in it.

>>36839736
Ha ha! I can cross Noel and Fryia having kids off the romance bingo card! I win! BINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>36839748

Damn, you sunk my battleship!

>>36839656
I actually have. Twas 3 million years ago, that I defeated Snetopinmo, Sued, Immus, Xepa, Aphla, and Agemo.

>>36839711
Fine, I will take your gift crossdresser Ivan.

>>36839748
My mom can adopt her.

She's always talking about how she never got the daughter she always wanted.

>>36839748
You had a bingo card?! What else was on that thing?

>>36839748
Wasn't I on that card, blockhead? No bingo for ya!
>>36839736
- ok, weird shit happened. Any need to worry?
>>36839742
Oh! Oh! I'm doing it! At the church of Asmodeus! Let me do the godmother, pretty please, Fryia!

>>36839745
You could always go have a look, we installed the old basement in the new guild hall in order to prevent all the things down there from spilling out.

>>36839748
>>36839766
This game still confuses me greatly.

>>36839711
Fought 4 pantheons in total, but one didn't technically exist yet as it was being formed in a new plane.

>>36839716
I still have the images saved in a crystal lattice, always good for a laugh.

>>36839730
I do say so, foresight remember?

>>36839736
You weren't I was there an considered middle aged at the time. Also her name was Illyria

>>36839748
*Hands Conspierre a wand* Your prize sir.

>>36839769
Only 6 of them? Small pantheon.

>>36839782
You don't want to know. *whispers
you being naked was on it 4 times*

>>36837414
Long story short, there's about 150-200 owlbears here I need to get rid of, and more keep coming as fast as I can kill them. I've been keeping them out of the center of town myself, but I have to sleep at some point.

I figure the best way to put a stop to it is to figure out where they're coming from, but I've not been able to manage that so far.

Advice on dealing with ab owlbear infestation?

>>36839685
You're not going to convince them. Wizards, remember?
>>36839730
Oh, gods. This is going to escalate into a full blown research project. I can feel it in my bones.
>>36839748
Godsdammit. I only needed one more square.
>>36839769
It was a joke. Really.
>>36839807
Oh, just four? I don't really feel that left out then. Sounds like you've been taking it easy.

>>36839808
I saw an Owlbear once

>>36839736
>is Jheska your true name?
It is not, my name is...
>inaudibile muttering
>>36839807
Soros!

>>36839775
Sorry Steve, it doesn't quite work that way.
>>36839766
>An explosion is heard in the distance
AHAHAHAHAHA DAMN RIGHT I DID
>>36839782
Lupa popping out a kid, stabby having a genuine moment, Fryia finding love, you dumping ashburn's lame ass, Antruthius laying with four tavern wenches at once, one of them being named Bill, Soros not seeing an argument with his girlfriend coming, and the World Eater making sweet love to an iron golem dressed as a spider while crying that his one true love will never accept him. I played the long game and it paid off.
>>36839788
I had two possible bingos, if you had just professed your undying love to Mort I could have sunk Soros' too.

>>36839808
Spread a circle of brass dust around the village when you need to sleep. They can't stand the stuff and if it actually touches their skin it eats away at the calcium inside their bones.

Alternatively, I can lend you a tool of mine that seems to deal with them rather easily.

>>36839852
But that's a lovely name, why do you insist on going by that one?

>>36839845
Sorry I'm the not the president here, forgot to swap out my nametag

*Steve looks around wakwardly*

>>36839808
There is no infestation that cannot be solved by throwing an army of skeletons at it. And assuming it didn't break during the rebuilding I'll get my moving in to help.

>>36839842
Can't risk too much, one of them might try something stupid and try to let the World eater out.

>>36839852
No it isn't Soros, It's Illyria. *shit eating grin*

>>36839860
Still have the phase shields up though Pierre, it'd bounce back and sink your carrier.

>>36839807
Figures.

>>36839881
True, but my carrier being sunk would have shattered the alliance between the eastern and western kingdoms, leaving you without the mercenary band defending your Schooner.

>>36839807

Illyria? I've heard that name before....

>>36839881
>>36839906

What game are we playing again?

>>36839906
It also would have caused my air supremacy which let me volley off seven perfect bombings per bingo and devastate your fleet.

>>36839911
Mages guild bingo battleship.

>>36839852
>>36839881
You are an horrible person, Soros. Thank you. Now, my sweet daughter Illirya. Isn't it good to be loved? You should thank noel for this, truly she saved both of us.

>>36839852
Should have listened to me about wizards.
>manic grin
>>36839863
Cultural thing, trying to honor the first Jheska.
>>36839906
One more square and my submarine would have moved in range to your carrier. My transport could have moved into position to have my invasion force at your capital.

>>36839911
Romance bingo. It's gotten a bit more complex over the years.
>>36839807
Thank you very much, one more for the trophy room.
>>36839933
We can list contingencies all night long, but we both know it would have ended in a tie. Mutually assured destruction kind of tie, but a tie nonetheless.

>>36839860
Wait wait, you'll beat soros if I do that?
Come here, mortimer, we need to talk! Where are you?

I'll go for E9.

Does that hit anything?

>>36839937
I can, have, and will do much worse than tease a small elf child Fryja.

>>36839960
You forget I already have a moon base, so I'd still win.

>>36839964
Too late he has a new card now.

>>36839933

Well in that case destroying my battleship would have set off my Chronomines positioned outside of time and space, materializing just as your air fleet let off the last of their volleys, destroying them.
There's also an Iron Golem off the port bow.

>>36839960
Romance Bingo? Is that a bit like Romance of the Three Kingdoms?

>>36839807
Hmm... what would happen if I went will full force aura warping instead of resonance magic?

>>36839842
Oh yes it will be, I've been researching and preparing for this since before I even graduated.

>>36839960
Please tell me I'm not on the board.

>>36839863
Sounds workable. I think the blacksmith has enough brass on hand to set up some chokepoints for the short term.

Any hints for finding the source?

>>36839877
Our town doesn't have a mage, and the locals would probably be pretty suspicious of an army of skeletons. Not that we wouldn't have enough owlbear skeletons to do it if we had the means and the will.

No, I'm afraid I'm stuck doing it the old fashioned way: archery from the church steeple and a glaive in the street.

>>36839943
You are probably right about that, honorable ferromancer.
>>36839937
S-sure, m-m-mother...

>>36839982
I move the rook to take your knight. Check.

>>36839943
Good thing I spent last friday alone then, isn't it?
>>36839968
Steve no wait that wou-
>confetti showers down from the ceiling
Damnit, thats going to be a pain to clean up
>>36839964
Well, if I complete two bingos that puts Jake'ness out of the game finally. It will leave Soros and I in a stalemate thou- I mean sure, go profess undying love for Mortimer.

>>36839982
Chronomine displacers, negate them and I have a rust monster garrison. Shadows to h8

>>36840024
You forgot my class 7 win condition didn't you Pierre?

>>36840018

AHA!, You activated my rooks trap. It eats you, but your check remains.
Who shall I make it out too? *clicks quill*

>>36840013
Critically wound one, stabbing five handspan into the space below the ribs should suffice. Then blow brass dust into its face.
It will be wounded and in tremendous pain, wanting nothing but to go home to its lair and recover.
But it never will, he or she will die suffering and bleeding and crying out to the cruel world.
That is the price you pay.

>>36839736
So... Ive been dead 500 years or so?

That would explain why I dont recognize many people here.