>>37075613
>yfw Bill Murray is always that guy

>>37075613
Story?

>>37075720
It is a very long tale, spanning 3 years and him being a bit of a social failure in life compared to the rest of the group.

>>37075741
I have time...

>>37075786
Fine. I've got nothing to do. Let me start typing it up.

I'll take you back three and a half years, right before I went to college.....

>>37075741
/tg/ always has time for storytime.

>>37075741
Oh go on, you knew we'd ask for storytime when you posted this
We can be patient

My memory might be a bit shaky, but this will be as accurate as I can make it.

>18 year old me, looking through Facebook for new school
>Way across the country, so I don’t know anyone
>Post on the page if anyone knows how to play Magic
>Get a message from someone
>Let’s name him Zach
>”Hey sexy. I know a bit about magic. Maybe I could teach you? ;)))”
>Check his profile. Bad OC drawings and rants about ‘Real Gamerz’
>Redflagseverywhere
>weird guy, but I’m awkward as fuck with no friends, so I tell him I already know how to play
>”Oh. Really? That’s impressive?”
>”Why is that impressive?”
>”Most girls don’t know how to play for real.”
>I have a unisex name, and my sister is in my profile pic but any amount of digging shows I’m a guy
>”I’m a guy.”
>”…well, whatever.”
>We talk about magic a while, and trade info to keep in touch

And that’s how I first met him. Oh, if I had know the adventures that I would be taken on, then I would have blocked him right there.

>>37075956

>>Check his profile. Bad OC drawings and rants about ‘Real Gamerz’
>>Redflagseverywhere
>I tell him I already know how to play

>>”Oh. Really? That’s impressive?”
>>”Why is that impressive?”
>>”Most girls don’t know how to play for real.”

Oh boy, here we go.

>>37075956
I'm going with Taylor. Is it Taylor?

>We were friends, since I knew no one and didn’t have the balls to meet new people
>One night, I return to my dorm and see him in my room
>How the fuck did he get in here?
>Am I going to be murdered?
>”Hey, want to play Cyberpunk?”
>He hands me a bunch of papers and stuff on Cyberpunk 2077
>Looks fun enough, and I decide that he’s just being ‘quirky’
>I’m desperate for companionship outside of him, so I say sure
>We roll up a character, Doctor with a penchant for organ stealing, give him a Hannibal Lecter vibe
>edgyasfuck.jpeg
>”Great! I’ll see you tomorrow in the x dorm parlor!”
>Motherfucker proceeds to crawl out my window
>I hear him climb through the bushes and run off into the night

>>37076035
Jordan

>>37076035
As a Taylor, I can confirm this happens all the damn time.

>>37076083
>>I hear him climb through the bushes and run off into the night

Oh this is going to get good.

>>37076083
>Jordan
>Unisex
Where the fuck do you live?

>>37076146
Not OP, but I know two guys named Jordan and three girls named Jordan.

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>>37076083
>>I hear him climb through the bushes and run off into the night.

>>37076083
>Motherfucker proceeds to crawl out my window
>I hear him climb through the bushes and run off into the night

lost

>>37076146
I don't think "unisex" necessarily implies 50/50, does it? It's a mostly male name where I am, but I've definitely known or known of a few girls called jordan

>>37076188
can confirm, a girl in my class is named Jordan

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>>37076083

>”Great! I’ll see you tomorrow in the x dorm parlor!”
>Motherfucker proceeds to crawl out my window
>I hear him climb through the bushes and run off into the night

Fucking what...

>Zach bursts in, 10 minutes late
>”Sorry guys, just putting the finishing touches on this awesome thing!”
>He gets super excited, and we begin
>We begin with the three other characters trying to find a doctor for a gunshot wound they got
>My time to shine
>Go along for about fifteen minutes, and after explosions and contracts, I’m pulled into this merry band of misfits
>Then he pulls something out
>”Then, a sultry lady comes up and starts putting the moves on Mason (my character)”
>Shrug and tell GM I turn her down
>”But…but she rolled seduction.”
>”My character is gay.”
>Didn’t pull this out of my ass, mentioned it in my backstory last night
>Rival doctor tried to seduce in med school, couldn’t because Mason wants the D.
>”No.”
>”What?”
>”No. He can’t be gay. I won’t allow it.”
>Other players come to my aid, saying to just backtrack and change seduction
>It takes a solid 10 minutes to convince him that, because I CONFIRMED it with him and that it is an IMPORTANT part of my backstory that Mason don’t like girl cooties to just make the girl seduce another character
>Shit you not, 5 minutes after that, she gets her brains blown out in a cutscene by the BBEG

After this came the problem...the rest of us started to develop social lives.

>>37076352
>>”No. He can’t be gay. I won’t allow it.”
What a champ.

I always had more of a problem with shitty groups. I never got to even so much as take an action and was mostly used as a punching bag by my last group. I usually got called a dumb ass for killing the monster they were all killing. Also the DM always checked the rules every time I declared an action and claimed I was lying about my skills till he check my character sheet. Hell they made special rules for me to ensure my character was always shit and never how I wanted it to be (Is having a 6ft tall human character too much to ask?)

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>>37076352
>>”But…but she rolled seduction.”
How do these people keep finding groups?

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>>37076352
How many guys were you? Describe DM and group. I'm curious why the dude invited you to the group.

>>37076352
>”No.”
Say what you will, this guy has absolute conviction in himself. For some reason

OP, thank you for sharing tonight.
You have made me a very happy neckbeard

>>37076450
Actually, important stuff. These guys all became my best friends and will factor in
>Me, lonely fuck who eternally plays Healer
>Walt, Rich guy who buys pizza and is very confident and pretty cool.
>Mary, art student who likes drawing porn and is pretty kickass
>Tom, actor who is an amazing role-player

Not sure why he invited me, but since then I'm the only one who plays a White Mage so I just have a slot in most RPGs

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>>37076434
When everyone is against you consider always that you're the guy and being super vague about things makes the average TG reader suspect the same thing.

>>37076545
All right, I'm grabbing waffles and waiting eagerly.

>>37076464
Sounds like a mental disorder of some kind. I don't know why, but I always feel sympathy when I suspect the guy in the stories is sick in the head or something and is just really bad at making friends.

>>37076434
Hahaha what the fuck.
What kind of people do you even play with? I'd leave right away.

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>>37076352
I've heard of TDMs killing off a character's family and loved ones for "m-muh character development" but I've never seen one try to do it like that

Please tell me there's more

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>Awkwardness continues, but the character interactions make up for the poor GM
>Me and the other players are starting to become friends
>I hang out with Mary, really like her, get close and friendly
>Next session on a Friday, we all go get pizza, Zach says he can’t come
>”I’ve just got Sooooo many papers, lol”
>He says ‘lol’ all the fucking time
>Finished eating, just shooting the shit
>Get a text
>’Jordan, we need to talk about your character’
>Tell the guys I’ve got to go and I’ll meet them there
>Go to the parlor and there is Zach
>Sitting like a bond villain
>”So…what’s up with you and Mary?”
>”Aren’t we going to talk about my character.”
>”Oh, we will. I’m just curious.”
>”We’re hanging out. She’s pretty cool. Right?”
>”Yeah. Cool…”
>We sit there awkwardly for five minutes.
>I keep trying to bring up the RPG, but he just waves me off
>Literal waving
>Like what pretentious aristocrat villains do to ‘peasants’
>Eventually, the group gets there and Zach switches into happy mode
>”You guys ready for another kick ass adventure?!”
>mfw

>>37076642
Oh yes. Wait till other people started GMing...

>>37076710
Sounds pretty spergy. $5 says he posts in ronery threads on /r9k/ about how he deserves to have a gf

I should go to sleep, but fuck it. Tell me your tale OP. I'm loving this ride so far

>>37076623
Good point. Allow me to give an example.
>Campaign starts in a city
>I make the barbarian wrestler I always wanted. He has a nice grapple check.
>Mid character creation DM says "Ok he can't be 6'5" you need to roll his hight!
> Nobody else had to roll their hight but I just want to play so I go along.
> I roll 6'5" anyway.
>After a good session where I actually do something. The next session the DM says "Ok where switching the setting to brakenwood.
>From then on my character is pushed aside so the druid can wank in his perfect setting. I'm not even allowed to use the "stranger in a strange land" thing that I decided to be when I heard about the setting change.

After that I never played with that group again.

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>>37076710
>>”So…what’s up with you and Mary?”

>Wait till other people started GMing...

>>37076710
GM kills off your character
Gm kills off Mary's character
GM rapes Mary's character
Calling it now

>>37075741
Luke?

>>37076146
I'll have you know my fiancé's name is Jordyn, albeit with a 'y' but still.

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>>37076083
>>Motherfucker proceeds to crawl out my window
>>I hear him climb through the bushes and run off into the night
I... I... what

So, eventually, people start getting actual social lives and, Oh God, start partying and drinking in college! Zach still blames papers and stuff, but we’re not upset he’s not around. He’s ok in small doses, and the four of us (which would eventually grow to seven by this last year) have enough fun with our ridiculous 80’s styled characters to keep RPing.

Then Halloween happened…

>Halloween Party, and Walt (being 21 already) Got us a shit ton of alcohol.
>Fuck yes
>A lot of people from various ‘nerd’ clubs come by. I’m less awkward and can actually talk to people
>Play lewd party games as a joke.
>Mostly just having fun
>Then there is a crash at the door
>Walt opens it
>Zach has arrived
>Absolutely shitfaces
>Stains on his shirt and pants
>”’EY GUYZ. SUP?!”
>Dressed as some sort of vampire-pirate-thing
>Collapses on top of some random girl
>Party quickly dies
>Most people go to another guys room to hang out
>I man up and tell him he needs to go
>”You can’t tell me whata dooo.” he slurs, and begins making out with a pillow
>”dude. You’re fucked up. We might have to call an ambulen-“
>”I AM GOD!”
>Stands up on the couch
>Miracly he didn’t fall and crack his head open
>”I’MMA GM; I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT”
>Jumps on Walt
>”Fuck, I hate being a virgin.”
>Humps his leg for 3.47 seconds
>Passes the fuck out

That was the single most embarrassing night of my college life.

>>37076710
> he says lol a lot
already tossed all sympathy I had for him overboard.

>>37076815
My apologies. Sounds like a douchebag DM. Maybe he was afraid or something. Dm's can get scared when archetypes they don't know seem strong or whatever. And then they become no fun allowed "roll for anal circumference," "roll whether you see the guy right in front of you or not" and "roll to see if you cry and if so, how hard" types.

>>37076886
sides in orbit etc

>>37076923
Oh god why. This is the kind of thing that only happens in nightmares, like showing up for class naked or having your teeth fall out

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>>37076923
>>”I’MMA GM; I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT”
>>Jumps on Walt
>>”Fuck, I hate being a virgin.”
>>Humps his leg for 3.47 seconds
>>Passes the fuck out

Please tell me there was a Christmas party follow-up.

>>37076923
Holy shit my sides!

>complains about being a virgin
>humps hosts leg and passes out

How old is this guy by the way? I ask since your one friend is 21 at the time, but this dude managed to get booze elsewhere

>>37076923

>"I AM GOD"
>"I'MMA GM; I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT"

Jesus Christ

>>37076923
Please, OP. Please for the love of all that is good post pics. I want to see the face that I will always be able to remember as "that fucking guy."

>>37075956
>>37076083
>>37076352
>>37076710
>>37076923
Holy shit, I'm a legitimately diagnosed autistic, and reading this is making me cringe.

>>37076087
Youre a taylor? good, Ive got some pants I need mended

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>>37076923

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>>37077091
High five (same here, but don't tell anyone), but this dude seems super dysfunctional still. Also, a douche.

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>>37076923
>>”I AM GOD!”
>>Stands up on the couch
>>Miracly he didn’t fall and crack his head open
>>”I’MMA GM; I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT”
>>Jumps on Walt
>>”Fuck, I hate being a virgin.”
>>Humps his leg for 3.47 seconds
>>Passes the fuck out

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>>37076923
>”I’MMA GM; I CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT”
>Jumps on Walt
>”Fuck, I hate being a virgin.”
>Humps his leg for 3.47 seconds
>Passes the fuck out

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Then, oh children then, Tom had the GALL to suggest he could try running a Mutants and Masterminds campaign alongside Cyberpunk. Zach was very passive aggressive and against it, but didn’t do anything noteworthy.

>Rolled up healer
>Magical Witch Lady with minion-killing Area attack and healing powers
>Zach rolled up separately
>Get to game day, and we begin
>Dude with giant powers is robbing a bank
>We all fly in to stop him
>”So, Zach. What does your character do?”
>”He stays in the corner.”
>We all stare at him.
>”You…you’re a wizard. You can throw a lightning bolt.”
>”But it’s not what my CHARACTER would do…”
>Here we go
>He rolled up a character who is a Neutral Coward and his magical staff possesses him with a ‘demon wizard’ who is Chaotic Stupid
>So, half the time he sits in a corner and does nothing, and half the time he shoots out random lightning bolts because ‘MUH CHARACTER’
>We try to stay in character most of the time in RPs, so no one really says anything
>The guy escapes, and we chase after him
>Zach ”Guys, I can’t go.”
>”What? Why not?”
>”I have an archeology final to finish up!”
>”Oh, if that’s the problem, then you can go Zach, it’s fine.”
>”No, I'm saying that in character.”
>Mfw that’s his major
>mfw the character’s name is only 3 letters different from his
>mfw he’s made a fucking useless self-insert that is designed JUST to fuck up the game and Tom is too damn nice to say NO

If you don’t mind a jumbled up timeline, today was a perfect example as to exactly how he fucks up a game.

>>37077163
>today was a perfect example as to exactly how he fucks up a game.

Wait, you're still playing with this guy?

>>37077163
>all that
>today

why the hell are you still playing with him?
3 fucking years isn't enough?

>>37077163
>today was a perfect example as to exactly how he fucks up a game.
Let the hate FLOOOWW through you

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>>37077163
>>”I have an archeology final to finish up!”
>>”Oh, if that’s the problem, then you can go Zach, it’s fine.”
>>”No, I'm saying that in character.”
>>Mfw that’s his major
>>mfw the character’s name is only 3 letters different from his

This just gets better and better.

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>>37077163
>”Guys, I can’t go.”
>”What? Why not?”
>”I have an archeology final to finish up!”
>”Oh, if that’s the problem, then you can go Zach, it’s fine.”
>”No, I'm saying that in character.”

>>37077224
I know someone like OP's "friend" who still hangs out with us because one of the guys in the group feels bad and always invites him, even if we expressly forbid it

OP, please continue

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>>37077163
I've always felt that every DM needs a bit of ruthlesness in him to cut out the whining and the bitching early before it can fester. Nice GM's are the salt of the earth, but I always find their campaigns festered with people who bitch or drop out or campaigns lacking a sense of direction.

>>37077222
>>37077224

He's mostly taken a backseat to what the group wants in Cyberpunk, which is great because we're now taking down a micronation and I've adopted an orphan to harvest organs from.

Tom and Walt are too nice to tell him to fuck off, and Mary and I enjoy the Cyberpunk game too much to let it die.

Yes, we are chicken shits, but sometimes it gets to the point where we just feel sorry for him...

>>37077163
>character is a self insert down to name and field of study
>he's a useless piece of shit that drags everyone down and is worthless to the group as a whole

Do you think he realizes what he's done? Or is he oblivious to that too?

>>37077295
You guys don't have to be miserable with him, though. Feeling sorry must have a limit.

I just feel blessed for never having met one of these things.

>>37077295
So did you get together with Mary?

>>37077261
>one guy feels bad for him

that is in no way a powerful enough motivator to continue inviting him
inviting him wont fix anything, it hasn't fixed anything yet, and is unlikely to

and a holdout may be reluctant, but 3 fucking years?

>>37077163
>>Zach ”Guys, I can’t go.”
>>”What? Why not?”
>>”I have an archeology final to finish up!”
>>”Oh, if that’s the problem, then you can go Zach, it’s fine.”
>>”No, I'm saying that in character.”

The fuck do you even say to this?

>>37077319
I have to wonder if, in his mind, he thought he'd draw attention to how vital to the group he was by contrasting his unbelievably useful IRL self to this uninterested alter-ego.
I'm guessing that's not quite how it went down

>>37077319
>>37077402
Guy clearly has some sort of mental disability. Who knows what he was thinking...

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>>37077354
"Do you want to play a game with us or not?"
"It's what my character would do."
Paragon option: "Please pack up and we'll talk after the game" *play 20 questions with his character, hoping he gets more into it*

Renegade option: "Then your character succesfully pased his archaeology exam and became a museum curator, leaving his life of crime-fighting behind. Don't bother coming next session, Zach, you're not invited."

>>37077354
You say that you are too, then the GM continues on with a whirlwind adventure, occasionally jumping over to see how Zach's studying isngoing

>>37077402
when has anyone done that successfully?
why would anyone want to do this?

>>37077439
He'd probably climb in through the window anyway

Fast forward to today. Part 1 of 2
>Hunting down my demon dad
>Trying to summon Satan from the asscrack of hell
>No thank you
>Get into a bad fight, and Zach’s character gets wounded
>”I leap into another dimension!”
>Makes the roll, and leaves the fight
>For the best, he was getting his ass handed to him
>After the fight, says he returns from the ‘Ice Cream Dimension’
>”Oh, it was great. There was little ice cream people and I got to run in the vanilla fields…”
>Spends a solid three minutes describing the Ice Cream Dimension
>Tells the GM he want to turn into Evil-Wizard
>”AND NOW I KILL THEM ALL”
>Opens a portal and starts randomly shooting at the people made of ice cream
>This has ZERO bearing on the story, and it’s just annoying
>I lean over to Tom
>”Hey. My character. She’s sworn against wanton murder. Right?”
>”Right.”
>”This counts as wanton murder, right?”
>”Right.”
>”I roll to shoot a Hex Bolt at Zach.”
>”WHAT? WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT! YOU TRAITOR YOU’RE RUINING THE FUCKING STORY-“
>Short battle ensues
>My witch beats the ever loving piss out of his wizard. I get him down to minimum health then heal him up.
>”Now. Let’s go kill my dad, shall we?”

>>37077429
Sounds to me like a mix of autism, lack of self-awareness, depression and being kinda stupid. More armchair diagnoses from cherry-picked stories from anon-cares.tumblr.com.

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>>37077484
>inserting completely unrelated ice-cream people story literally during middle of game

>attention starved, and a complete moron

>>37077484
I know some groups have big issues with character deaths, but you missed a golden opportunity to make him face that that sort of shit wasn't going to fly anymore.

>>37076854
Obi-wan?

>>37077571
Ben?

>>37077136
What was the name of that silly-ass video this gif is from?

It's not Kero Saiyan or Kuro Saiyan, but it was something sort of close I think...

>>37077484
>>My witch beats the ever loving piss out of his wizard.

YES.

>...then heal him up.

NO.

>>37077484
Either this GM is too way soft on zach or he really, really likes ice cream

>>37077614
Gallo Sengan

>>37077614
Gaio Sangan or something similar.

>>37077614
Galo Sengen.

Part 2 of the Epic of Zach, the Useless.
>Trace him to museum
>Trying to get at an artifact of unbelievable magical origin
>The usual questing shit
>Cops have the place surrounded
>We’re also kind of wanted by police
>Oops.
>Team Psychic successfully rolls to create an illusion of a monster to scare the cops
>Nat 20
>”You create the most obscene eldritch horror. Every sense of the officers is eroded at the sight of this monstrosity. And any god looking down upon it weeps at the thought of the hellish mind that created this abomination.”
>Fucking love Tom’s fluff
>We’re about to sneak past when…
>”I want to create a mustache on it.”
>”….what.”
>”I have illusion level 2 (decent) I want to create a mustache on the monster.”
>”Why in God’s name would you do that!?”
>”I’m an evil, insane wizard! It’s what my character would do.”
>Collective groans
>Tom is a very improv-oriented GM
>Often says ‘If you want to do something, do the roll and see what happens.”
>We take that as a means to experiment and usually try to do cool things and develop characters
>He takes it as ‘Do whatever you want! Free game!”
>Argues for a while, and Tom just tells him fine
>Succeeds and creates a god damn mustache
>Psychic is strong enough to maintain illusion without extra rolls
>Zach spends the rest of the god damn game, every single action turn, maintaining that god damn mustache

I've got two more interesting stories, though they are more about Zach as a person than Zach as a PC or GM. If you want to hear them.

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>>37077642
Honestly the only thing I see Zach ever doing judging from these stories is make people soft.

>>37077689
/tg/ always wants to hear stories.

>>37077689
You know we do.

>>37077689
Hell, yeah, I want some dirt on that guy as if I suspected he was dating my teenage daughter.

>>37077689
>insane
This is why I don't allow "insane" characters in my games. It's never anything but an excuse for lolsorandumb.

>>37077689
do you only play tabletop rpgs with him?

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>>37077484
>My witch beats the ever loving piss out of his wizard. I get him down to minimum health then heal him up.
>”Now. Let’s go kill my dad, shall we?”

>>37077701
OP here

We also kind of feel obligated, because he was the very first friend at college a lot of us had. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't know the group of people that I now easily call my dearest friends.

I guess we sort of feel obligated since we wouldn't know each other if it weren't for him.

>>37077746
A good DM would allow it, but they'd have to roll on the chart of mental diseases, so he'd have chance to have stuff like clinical depression or sanguinary animism.

>>37077655
>>37077671
Great, thanks for that - my brain was refusing to make that last leap.

>>37077777
Quints confirm

>>37077689
>I want to X
>.....what

how does he not hear that though stopping screeching hissing sound brains make when they hit walls of dumb he shits out?

>>37077773
then pay off that debt in one lump sum and then drop him

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>>37075613
I was DMing my first game and That Guy wanted to use his grappling hook to get up to a hole that is a 10x10 hole that is 50+ feet high in the ceiling 20 feet off the ground. I said all this and go, ok but its gona be hard, he says he's got it.
>He's cleric
>Dex of 12 so his modifier was a +1
>check is a 20 to succeed
>Rogue in party who could do it much better then him is busy protecting the party from zombies
>Party fighting 10+ Zombies
>Only Cleric
>Does not turn dead except once
>trys this grappling thing 5 times
>highest he gets is a 18
>tell him its not enough
>flips out on me telling me that its not suppose to be that hard
>i calmly say that i made it a 20 check, not a natural 20 check, he could have gotten it with a 19 plus his dex modifier
>gets angryer and says why is it that hard
>tell him that with the zombies around you, the height of the shaft, and the slipperiness of the shaft (they were in an aquaduct), that it was a 20 check
>why didn't you tell me that after 5 tries so that way i wouldnt keep trying
>because its not impossible its just hard and if i told you everything then the game would be no fun
Then he pouted, meanwhile i noticed that everyone left the room and was watching silly videos on the computer.
I said that maybe we should just end it tonight.
>best first time DMing 10/10

>>37077773
I can understand that. However, from the sounds of things, you guys didn't become friends through any action on this guy's part. He didn't do anything to help you guys click, you just came together and bonded naturally. The question is, does everyone else feel the same as you? Have you talked to them about him?

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>>37077777
d'ya mind linking this chart?

>>37077746
I have an insane character and I have to say he is probably one of the least random characters I have ever played. Part of that is because I often play Alchemists, and Alchemists have a tendency to be extremely eccentric, so it comes off as random. But my insane character is just extremely quiet and has strange motives for staying with the party and such.

>>37077777
Let it be known, quints confirm.

Actually a pretty good idea for the next time some lolsorandum faget goes for the insanity defense

>>37077773
I'm in the same boat as you, except I have a friend who constantly bitches and whines and always gets up in the DM's (usually me, but not always) case for other people. This guy has been a friend (varying from casual to good) for 10 years and he's handed me half of the people I roleplayed with.

If not for that, I would have done the sensible thing and politely ask him to leave months ago.

OP here


Turns out I have more than 2 stories. Because, if you will allow me to explain, he started living with me and Walt. We needed a third person and he kind of threw himself on us when our original third bailed to live with his girlfriend. Fuck you Tom for wanting to have a healthy relationship

It's not much. But it includes what he did when he found out Mary and I did the do and what happened when he found out that we don't want to live with him next year (Or ever)

Will /tg/ hear my tale?

>>37077835
>cleric not fighting zombies
>rouge not finding the escape route
>dm handling this whole thing poorly

not sure who exactly was that guy here
just try again, and do better

>>37077881

Yes

>>37077881
Just keep dumping ffs, its good stories. No point in asking after every one.

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>>37077881

>>37077881
Regale us, sir

>>37077881
Sing to us, oh Muse.

>>37077881
>implying anyone on /tg/ or anywhere else for that matter doesn't want to hear more after what you've said so far

Get to typing OP. I'm making popcorn

Occasional lurker here.
Was supposed to go to bed and read my book but this is better

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>>37077941
Agreed.

>>37077839
No chart, but copy paste this in word or something.

Roll 1d12
1: Clinical depresssion
2: Schizophrenia
3: Sanguinary animism
4: Dissociative personality disorder
5: Obsessive-Compulsive disorder
6: Bulimia
7: Agoraphobia
8: Triskaidekaphobia
9: Kleptomania (replace with sanguinary animism when you suspect That Guy)
10: Autism
11: Anxiety Disorder
12: Severe mental retardation

Anything you think leads to That Guy behaviour, replace with Sanguinary animism.

Only had one guy who would really be called a That Guy, and there was only one real time that happened. He was just mostly prone to making dumb decisions.

>Playing 4e
>Me, an Executioner, decide taking the stairs is for squares, man, and decide to jump out a window 3 stories down.
>Acrobatics check and class feature negates all falling damage, DM says I basically leap off and land in a hay bail, Assassin's Creed style.
>Paladin(guy in question) decides that sounds like fun, jumps off too. No acrobatics training, basically takes full fall damage. Lands on some crates of rice and smashes the thing on impact.

He also tried to introduce another Paladin(both Dragonborns) who was basically a female version of his character with a shitton of bonus feats. He wasn't the DM, so of course the DM starts giving him funny looks when he says he has to go into the town we're in to look for a friend of his. He stopped showing up shortly afterwards, so nothing really came of it.

>>37077995
with that guys luck, he will roll autism and the self insert will be complete

>Zach, Walt and I live together in the ‘Leather Suite’ (complicated story, but that’s what we named it)
>I got an inflatable unicorn head from Zach, and since there was a nail up on the wall, decided to hang it
>Walt though it was fun, and we don’t take things too seriously, so we kept it
>Zach comes in
>”What’s with the faggy unicorn?”
>”Dude, it was a gift. Remember?”
>”But people will think we’re a bunch of homos! It’s not very cool…”
>”Dude. No one thinks we’re very cool. We dressed up in lingerie for Rocky Horror Still have nightmares about how enthusiastic Zach got when he got his leather pants…
>”Fine, but I want to decorate it.”
>Ok. This might be nice. We’ll decorate it together and it’ll prevent the tension that rises up
>For the record, the tension rises up because Walt and I occasionally hook-up with people and Zach loathes anyone who gets more sex than him Which is Any
>Go into the city for a doctor’s appointment
>Come home
>There’s a fucking fedora on my unicorn head
>I try to ‘knock’ it off his head…
>That shit is GLUED on there.

I nearly broke there. It was only the knowledge I would get later that he was going abroad to Italy in the 2015 school year that kept me together.

>>37077746
I want to play an insane character, but i feel like it would probably be the most difficult kind of character to role-play, and I'm not up to that challenge.

>>37078070

OP Here

I fucked up. It was Tom who gave me the unicorn. Not Zach.

>>37078070
for how long?
and does he even speak Italian?

this sounds like a low budget comedy movie

>>37078099
Try to see if you can't get into a small oneshot campaign, I feel they're the best opportunities to try out concepts I'm not sure if work.

>>37077941
Ditched laptop, I'm watching this unfold from my phone, wish the phone brightness could be lower than its lowest setting.

>>37078070
Such a waste of a perfectly good unicorn head.

>>37078099
Everyone does. I feel that way about playing people that have sexual preferences different from mine.

>>37077881
i want to hear about your romantic conquests concerning mary. Tell us how you romanced the woman.

>>37078099
everyone is john

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/thread

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>>37078099
>>37078172
Here's the pdf

So, this is where there was some serious creepy shit. I nearly called security/a lawyer after this. Again, knowledge that he would be spending most of this coming year half-way across the planet kept me from trying to get a restraining order.

>End of last school year
>Me and Mary spend a lot of time together
>Much to Zach’s chagrin, our characters are hooking up and rubbing gayness all over his campaign
>No one but him cares
>We have fun together, and then one drunken night, we hook up
>Not at all awkward afterwards
>Decide to start dating
>After a few weeks, tell my roommates that Mary and I are officially together
>Walt is happy for me, and gives me that ‘I told you so’ look
>Zach’s face is absolutely blank
>Doesn’t say a word, just gets up and leaves
>”What the fuck was up with that?” Walt asks
>I think back to Freshman year
>The pizza
>The text
>The hand waving
>Oh_shit.jpg

>Over time, Zach isn’t too bad around me, so I think that maybe it was nothing
>Maybe he’s grown up and he’ll be mature
>I know nothing

>One night, getting a little heated with Mary
>Roommates and I have agreement that once a week we can kick the other two out for a night if we get them breakfast the next morning
>So worth it
>Start to take off my shirt, when I see a small movement outside my window
>Think maybe it’s just deer, they get very brave this time of year
>Keep going, and I hear the rustling again
>”Mary, did you hear that.”
>”Hear what?”

>>37078252
thank you kindly good sir

>>37078290
>>Motherfucker proceeds to crawl out my window
>>I hear him climb through the bushes and run off into the night

IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN OP HOW COULD YOU FORGET

>>37078290
>Window shenanigans again

OP HE WAS FORESHADOWING YOUR FATE

>>37078290
> i was the chubby lady hiding in the bushes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=SqEkp9Yl9VY&list=PL8BC075BA3A6D336D#t=539

i hope timestamps work

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>>37078290

>>37078361
Turns out Zach was the greatest story teller all along.

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>>37078290

>>37078290
AAWWWWWWW HERE IT GOES!

>>37078341
>>37078361
Its like poetry

P
O
E
T
R
Y

>>37078290
>”Mary, did you hear that.”
>”Hear what?”
literally a line out of a horror movie I'm sure

>>37078290
he was in your bushes creeping and YOU STILL HAVEN'T EXPELLED HIM?????????????????????????????????

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>>37078290

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>>37078290
This can only end poorly.

>>37078290
Why, WHY did you wait so long for this part of the story. It's like Shakespeare or something. It flows so well with the first time he climbed out your window after breaking and entering.

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>this whole thread

>>37078290
>the window
OP you're going to get murdered at this rate. When you finally kick him out, lock your windows.

>>37078382
This episode was playing just a while ago but I missed half of it.Thanks anon!

Zach here. OP is kill

>Cover her with a blanket
>thatdecency
>I head over to the window and pull down the blinds a bit
>There is definitely something out there
>It is definitely not deer shaped
>Oh fuck, is that a person
>”Mary, stay in here.”
>I grab my carving knife and a bat and head out into the dark
>I know self-defense, and I am a big motherfucker so I’m not afraid
>Sneak Skill 20
>Go around the building, no shirt on, to see who the fucking is peeping at me and my girl
>See a large guy in the bushes outside of my window. I hold up the bat.
>”WHAT THE FUCK?!”
>Yell at the top of my lungs
>Guy bolts it like a gun
>How the fuck does he move like that?!
>Running like the fattest gazelle in Africa
>I chase after him and tackle him near the edge of the woods
>Guess who motherfuckers
>”Zach…what the fuck were you doing?!”
>Dude is drunk as a motherfucker
>Smells like piss and alcohol

/tg/, I am going to tell you what he said. These words are burned into the core of my mind forever.

“I was doing research for when Mason and Ron (Mary’s character) do that stuff in Cyberpunk…”

The next and last story will be about how we broke the news that we don't want him living with us, and the reaction from me and Walt when he finally moved out a few weeks ago.

>>37078290
PLEASE tell us you have more stories. I could stay up all night reading these.

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>>37078487
>“I was doing research for when Mason and Ron (Mary’s character) do that stuff in Cyberpunk…”

>>37078467
the channel has every episode
don't binge to much now anon

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>>37078487

>>37078487
>“I was doing research for when Mason and Ron (Mary’s character) do that stuff in Cyberpunk…”
I wish my DM cared that much about our campaign. What a great guy.

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>>37078487

>>37076146
Jordan is common for blacks, usually prissy bitchy niggers.

>>37078487
This is some dedication to DM'ing that no mortal could ever hope to acheive.

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>>37078487

>>37078487
>“I was doing research for when Mason and Ron (Mary’s character) do that stuff in Cyberpunk…”
dedicated/10 best gm 2015-7.5hrs

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>>37078487

>>37078487
Ahh the only thing worse than idiot autistic fucks. DRUNK idiot autistic fucks.

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>>37078487
>“I was doing research for when Mason and Ron (Mary’s character) do that stuff in Cyberpunk…”

>>37078487
IT ALL ENDS HERE

But uh... Why did you go back, and why did you not have him arrested?

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>>37078487

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>>37078487

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>>37078633

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>>37078487

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>>37078487

someone should save this thread forever

>>37076440
Well, seduction by its very nature is technically against your will. In order to win someone over, they have to initially be at least a little resistant. Most people don't have the will to just say "no, fuck off", especially when it comes to a really good seduction. Even if he did tell her to piss off, his character should still have the thought in his mind of "hey, a potential mate!"

Seductions are essentially the same thing as a bluff or diplomacy roll. If you get in a fight with a party member or an NPC and another party member or NPC uses diplomacy on you to calm you down, you can't just say "no fuck you". Otherwise we'd just be playing forum RP's on Gaia or some shit.

However, since his character is gay, of course the seduction wouldn't work.

So I'm a newfag to /tg/
Are threads here usually this good?

>>37078723
>social rolls working against other party members.
>actually that whole post.

Yeah no

>>37078755
some are

>>37078723
>using rolls for social interaction between party members that doesn't involve magic
>ever
no

>>37078755
Storytime threads are hit and miss. Think of them like watching COPS; sometimes you get really hilarious shit, sometimes it's kinda dull.

>>37078755
Higher rate of them, in my experience.

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>>37078723

>>37077261
We used to have one of those types in our group, he was another player's friend from way back so we accommodated him for a little while (only because he was a friend of a friend and occasionally you help a brother out).

Then he started doing creepy ever-virgin neckbeard shit like asking one of the female players if her character was on her period because he could smell blood and doing 'lol randumb' murder sprees so I kicked him out (literally kicked him out of the house at one point when he turned up on game night and refused to leave). There are times when firm words (and a boot up the arse) are needed because people like Zach, they aren't really friends they're just sad people who expect everyone to bend over backwards for them.

>>37078755
Depends on the day. There is normally an interesting story or two every week. There aren't many That Guys on this level to get a story like this.

>>37078723
Player Characters have free agency determined by players, otherwise they're not player characters. They're NPC's they borrow from you.

Also, it's pretty commonly agreed that social rolls should not work in player v player interactions.

>>37078811
But you didn't explain why that's bullshit

>>37078755
Not usually, but you develop an instinct of when and where the good shit crops up.

>>37078825
Perfect level of ruthlesness here. Knowing nothing about your DMing skills, I can't help but assume they're at least above average.

>>37078825
>they aren't really friends they're just sad people who expect everyone to bend over backwards for them.

goddamn this

>>37078856
every other response to that post has, so i thought the cat was appropriate

First, how he learned that we don’t want his ass around. I wasn’t actually there, but this is how it went down with Tom and Walt.

For reference. Tom, Walt, Tom’s Girlfriend Liz, and I want to rent an apartment next year. Zach seems to have been under the impression that he would be included on this deal. Walt doesn’t want to be an asshole, and after the thing with the ‘GM Research’ I’m afraid he’s going to want to wear my skin. I just kept in my head ‘two more months. I’ve death with being beaten by drunken fucks, I can handle this fat fuck.’ Still locked my doors and windows every night

I heard all this from Tom. I never asked Walt the details

>Tom, Walt, and Zach are in the car
>Getting supplies for this year’s Halloween party
>Bigger Room
>More alcohol
>Hopefully Less Zach since ‘He’s got papers’
>They’re loading up the car after the grocery stop
>Zach “Well, we better get used to this stuff if we’re going to be living together.”
>Tom “…I think this is a conversation you and Walt should have.”
>Tom nopes the fuck out of there
>Hangs out by the grocery store for a while
>Bought some snacks to smooth things over
>Sees two old ladies walk by
>”Oh my, did you see that boy in the parking lot? I hope everything is all right”
>”I’ve never seen someone throw a tantrum like that. Well, at least he had someone comforting him.”
>Tom leans over to see the parking lot
>Zach is literally rolling across the street, and the faint lyrical sound of sobbing can be heard.
>Tom cringes so hard he hits his head on a pillar
>After about ten minutes, everything seems to have quieted down
>Tom returns to the car
>Walt and Zach sitting in the back seat
>Tom gets in and drives
>Zach looks between them
>”Either of you want to go grab sushi or something? I’m starving.”

Last story, one of the best moments of this last semester. It's the small things that count.

>>37078920
>a public parking lot tantrum

how old is this guy?
supposedly in college?

>>37078873

For all those out there struggling with this problem - extract these sorts of people from your life as soon as possible no matter how hard it is and what it takes.
You are under no obligation to continuing being their 'friend' should they display this type of behavior. Do not feel guilty. Do what needs to be done.

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>>37078920
>>”Either of you want to go grab sushi or something? I’m starving.”

>>37078920
>we better get used to this stuff

what is he talking about here?
the groceries, or his creeping?

>>37078920
See, being friends with people with this degree of severe autism and just being a terrible person in general, is like going to the pound and getting the frail sickly puppy because you feel bad for it. The other, healthy, strong puppies need homes too. It's best just to forget about the sick one and let it die out of the gene pool. You'll be much happier with the healthy dog, and it won't be plagued by health problems and die at an early age. It'll be better for everyone. Especially if the sick puppy is also an asshole.

>>37078975
This, right here. People like Zach are tumors. You don't negotiate with tumors, you don't humor them, you don't make compromises. You cut them out.

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>This whole story

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>>37078920
Oh the glorious schadenfreude!

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>>37078920
>>”Either of you want to go grab sushi or something? I’m starving.”
I seem to lack a reaction image that conveys the appropriate amount of confusion and pity.

Help /tg/ I think I might be dealing with a Stealth That Guy.

He's always be obnoxious, arrogant and thoughless but...

>been playing in a long standing game for over a year
>party warlock, I damage things
>he is some weeaboofightan-multiclassed pixie
>campaign is draw to a close in epic levels
>he's become progressively more hostile towards me in game
>not sure why
>doing lots of behind the scenes shit, making passive threats continually

What do /tg/?

I think he's going to pull something retarded right at the end of the game.

I can be resurrected but there are ways around hat. I think he wants to end me. Specifically me, he's tried to 1up the other party members but cant. I'm the only party member he can realistically have a chance of beating.

Do people do that? Is that a thing, are there people who want to kill party members for kicks?

>>37079041
Yes.

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>>37078920
>Either of you want to grab sushi or something?

>>37079041
start making with backup plans, and a fail safe that ends him of you are ended
just don't initiate it

good luck

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>>37078920
is this zach?

No green text. Just simple writing.

So, it’s the end of the semester. Zach is going abroad for the next semester and then it is summer, so that is a solid 9 moths away from him. Maybe he’ll get some Italian girl or something and get [spoilers](Gonhorrea)[/spolers]laid. And when we have a house and he’s in the dorms, he won’t be coming along. Walt and I are starting to feel this strange comradery in how much we want him out.

We move him out, and move his replacement in (incidentally also named Zach, but a much better GM and person) and we bid both the them farewell as they head home for the holidays. Walt looks at me, and then pulls out his phone.

“Dude, I think it’s time.” He says as he pulls up a clip

“Time for what?”

“Zach’s going away party.”

He plays this clip, and I feel better than I have in a very long time. (Sorry for the shit quality)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp3C_wGwU3U


Now he is gone. Either in his home town or across the ocean. Either way, I am at least 2000 miles away from him.

So ends the tale of Zach the Unbearable.

>>37079041
Give us a rundown of your best guesses for 'if SOMETHING I did got his jimmies rustled, it might have been THIS'.

>>37079041
Play it safe, make friends, try to avoid being alone with him.
Also have a fail-safe.

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>>37079041
>Throwing Sharps
>Chainstick
>Uzi
I'm dying

>>37079105
You can just use ctrl+s for spoilers

>>37079105

I love happy endings.

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>>37079105
>Now he is gone. Either in his home town or across the ocean. Either way, I am at least 2000 miles away from him.

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I dunno if it'll compete with Zach, but no That Guy thread is complete without Big Boy Blue.

>>37079105
wait....

why was zach pissed about being kicked out if he was planning to go abroad?

Dear Diary
Today OP was a pretty cool guy.

>>37079108
Because he's some tiny weeaboofightan creature I literally have nothing to do with him in game (fantasy racist here, I don't like small shit,especially small male shit). I haven't really spoken much with him over the table or over skype (we split up as we went our separate ways with work and uni). I get the feeling that he really doesn't like me though.

He seems to have baseless resentment (or seemingly baseless).

I honestly can't think of any reason he'd be looking to fuck me over, but it certainly seems like he is. I'm spooked.

>>37079188
He's going abroad for the semester. The school year after that is when we are living together.

>>37079186
no

NO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CAPTHCA: PROTP

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>>37079105
Thanks for storytime OP. Glad you guys have Zach out of your lives, now have yourselves some awesome sessions.

>>37079088
That guy is too skinny to be Zach from what I've heard of this story.

>>37079204

But what happens 9 months later? Certainly he will try and worm his way into your social lives once more.

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>>37079214
Oh, yes, Anon. Oh. Yes.

>>37079105
I call bullshit. Your OP states that you just got back from a terrible campaign with a GM too pussy to do anything. This story ends with your most recent experience with Zach being his tantrum and departure.

>>37079199
So, I'm not going to in any way try and claim he's not what you're saying he is - but your phrasing DOES make it sound like you don't do a stellar job of hiding your dislike of him. And that's fine - nothing says you have to act like you like people you don't like.

But by the same token, you are aware that some people are shitty enough that they straight up can't handle people not liking them, right?

That right there may be why he's focused on you.

>>37079266
stop posting zach

>>37079266
Stalking is never warranted.

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>>37078920
>and after the thing with the ‘GM Research’ I’m afraid he’s going to want to wear my skin.

The worst part is that I've had a similar That Guy experience, so I know exactly how horrible and cringey this is.

You've been making all the bad memories come back, you motherfucker.

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>>37078723
>party member shows up drunk for the session
>he plays 'chaotic evil' character and ends up rustling other players
>other party members try to kill his character
>he rolls 'charisma' to convince my character to help him in battle
>natural 20
>'LOL U HAVE TO HELP ME NOW'
>protest and say no
>DM says I have to help him
What's the fucking point in playing when you don't even get any self-determination. Choices should be your choices not RNG'd by someone's die.

>>37078828
>One party member acts as representative to receive job
>Party does the job
>Party member goes to receive pay
>Party member lies to party, says they were paid less than they got so that he can keep a larger share
>Another party member calls bullshit
>Both party members refuse to back down
So you would rather let it stay as this tense, awkward IC and OOC situation rather than just have a roll to defuse it?

Again, if you can't handle something happening to your character that's against your will, you really shouldn't be playing /tg/. If someone's being a prick about it and constantly trying to, for example, have sex with party members or convince them to do things that are clearly not a good idea, that should not be allowed. But barring social rolls entirely is for snowflakes.

>>37079347
>rolls charisma

and then the dm tells him to roleplay it

dice are only half of the game damnit

>>37079256
Skype is a wonderous thing. We left the M&M campaign on a bad note, and wanted to finish it up.

Now we can take a break...and fuck with his character while he's gone

I'm heading off to bed. Night folks.

>>37079347
>natural 20
God I hate this so much.
Anyone who assumes they automatically get a success on whatever they're trying to do, regardless of difficulty or logic, can choke on a bag of dicks.
>But the rules say...
No. Rules say I can murder someone's daughter in front of them, then make a forty-something diplomacy check and they want to worship me. That doesn't make it right.

>>37079362
>Party member lies to party, says they were paid less than they got so that he can keep a larger share

why the hell even say anything if you plan on stealing from the party?

he could have just omitted the error, or better stated from the start the price was less than actual so no one would know to call bullshit on his scam

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>>37079399
I'm suspicerous, but it doesn't matter.

Stay frosty, man.

>>37079347
See
>>37079362
I never said to allow unreasonable shit to happen. Going around rolls entirely just prevents interesting situations.
If that CE guy had a reasonable way to actually convince you, then why should he not be allowed to? Because you know OOC that he's just trying to fool you? That's just metagaming and failrp. He probably didn't, judging by how you told the story, but if there were a situation where he did, then that should be considered.

>>37079408
i mean clearly she had to die, think of the *insert philosophy here that justifies it*, make a convincing argument, or you could go with the tried and true method of making sure he knows you only killed the she demon in the name of god.

>>37079347
did he use a will overpowering spell or something?

also social rolls don't work like that on PC's

>>37078070
>and Zach loathes anyone who gets more sex than him Which is Any
Zach confirmed for long lost twin brother of chris-chan

>>37079186
Jesus Christ, that's the scariest story I've ever read.

>>37079316

To clarify, I had the nightmarish occasion of telling That Guy that I couldn't hang out/game with him because I was spending the night with my girlfriend (which was true).

His response was a lascivious wink and "Give her one for me!"

>>37079440
Yeah but what could be reasonable to you can be bullshit to somebody else.

Oh and I'm fine with NPCs using social rolls to make the situation interesting but player-player interaction should be role-playing and communication not die RNG.

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>>37079362
In my defense, I don't really see bluff and deception as social rolls, but as environmental or perceptive rolls. As a DM I would tell people to play nice, though. I don't know about your table, but my table is't filled with blood-sucking vampires that have played DnD with Gygax himself and sharpen actual knives at the table. Because my table isn't filled with the blood-smeared-in-your-face hardcore enthusiasts, I generally discourage or heavy-handedly stop any attempts at destroying the party or engaging in PvP like this. Creates too much drama.

Before anyone strawmans me and says I never let players lie or whatever, that's not true and I allow anything players are okay with OOC.

>>37079474
why does our culture support these people?
I'm considered a parasite because i can't find work and live with my parents fixing up their old broken house,
meanwhile these shits are handed neetbucks, and their family/"friends"bend over backwards to tend to them?

>>37078554
>>/pol/

>>37079456
No magic just his charisma/diplomacy.
The DM was new and he didn't know also
the guy was drunk and getting violent so
nobody wanted to piss him off. :/

>>37079539
>an opinion I don't like, I better tell him to go to /pol/

>>37079527
>charisma whatever that means is not a social roll

bluff and deception maybe environmental if they actually do something to the environment, but strait up lies are social rolls

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>>37079535
Chris-chan is a broken man and Zach is not a NEET. He is clearly studying archaeology.

>>37079266
Guy who posted about the potential stealth that guy.


No, I don't dislike him, I'm indifferent to him. Maybe that's it. I don't know though.


I'm just preparing for the worst.

He's like north korea, if north korea could actually affect me.

Has anybody compiled tonight's story time?

I need to save this. For science.

>>37078487
AND YOU WERE PLAYING WITH THIS PERSON TODAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

TODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

WHAT THE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK IS WRONG WITH YOU!

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>>37079581
Whatever, I'd allow people to roll to perceive a lie. But stealing from your party is going to require some consent from the players OOC before we go any further.

>>37079414
You're seriously deconstructing a hypothetical situation?

One of your suggestions is literally what I said. If the party asked what the pay was beforehand, he could have just said then. If the party asked after, he would just tell them then.

Of course, one could just completely omit it as you said, but that would negate the entire example and is very unlikely because most adventurers ask what their pay is.

Every time I think my group is bad I read a really meaty That Guy story and everything in my life seems that much better for it.

>>37079527
I see it as bluff less about convincing people that you're telling the truth, and more about convincing them that you're not lying.
A 40 bluff check isn't going to convince the vampire that you're covered in garlic, but he'll be certain that you believe you are.

I've also always seen diplomacy as more of an "impression" sort of thing. Like, it tells you what regard someone holds for you. I mean, you can respect someone for who they are and how they present themselves, but still hate them for their actions.

These threads always seem to deviate into "how do you handle social stats in your games" threads at some point.

>>37079519
Even then, as a gm I allow both npc and pc vs pc social rolls, but the results are non-binding. Basically to give the player a means of judging how convincing, believable etc something is while still ultimately deciding their own fate.

Mind you I also gm a system which explicitly states social rolls do not affect pcs. I think that went a tad far, but understand exactly why it did, I feel influence is a good middle ground.

>>37079585
so chris-chan isn't supported by his aging parents?
and what do you think zach got those scholarships for?

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>>37079347
>>37079456
Where in the rules does it prohibit social rolls on PCs?

>>37079649
i meant omit the error by just starting the scam from the beginning and not fibbing at the end which was obvious

that's what i was confused by, how did he think that would work?

>>37079527
>lying
>not social
yeah okay.

>>37079670
any competent gm comes to the conclusion that its weak justification for will bending effects without a using a consumable or limited power, and generally leads to OOC drama

I think it's safe to say I have 2 THAT GUYs but in different ways

The first guy can't make a character to save his life. He ends up cranking out either a CN special snowflake, dickass murderhobo or a mary sue that's as bland as potato salad. He ultimately left the group because we didn't want to play his game of thrones fanfiction. However I later learned that the reason why he played the way he did was because he was deathly afraid of failure and went out of his way to sabotage himself.

The other guy became a THAT DM when his ego was left unchecked in the echo chamber of a group since me and other people who challenged him dropped out. He always felt he needed to make changes that overcomplicated things. And if you don't DM the way he does it he will complain about it behind you're back. He is the ultimate reason why the group is afraid to move out DnD/PF since he won't have any control as a DM and his ego won't allow it.

>>37079661
Single parent now, his dad died and the government is basically paying Christian off to stay away from society.

Zach got a government loan most likely or his parents paid him whatever. Arm chair anons call him sick in the head, but he probably didn't get sponsored by the government.

Either way, unhealthy mind set, man. I would not envy or want to be these people. Society gives up on them for a reason.

>>37079736
Sounds like you just need a drink with that second one.

>>37079739
i don't envy them, i just want to be considered more worthy than they

our culture spends so much time supporting dead ends, and shaming viable ones

The meta-gamer.
>entire party at the hub city
>cruise around by myself in the city
>find myself at the orphanage and make friends with orphans
>take them to the outskirts of town to learn archery
>other party member suddenly goes to "where anon is"
>I tell him 'how would you even know where I am'
>dm allows it
>he kills the orphans because he's "chaotic evil"
Yeah I've decided to just refuse to play with anyone who rolls chaotic evil. Always had a bad experience.

>>37079498

Fortunately it's made up.

>>37079854
Did you kill him afterwards

>>37079854
>Yeah I've decided to just refuse to play with anyone who rolls chaotic evil. Always had a bad experience.
That's how I feel about Chaotic Neutral. Hell, I'll take a Lawful Evil character over Chaotic Randumb any day, since they tend to actually have logical thought patterns and get shit done.
Plus, if you're in the mood for Paladinfagging hard, most of them can be converted to at least Lawful Neutral if you work at it.

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>>37079854
Why DM's allow this I never understand.

>>37079670
Don't know what edition they were playing, but:
The 2e rules explicitly say players control their characters and they cannot be swayed by typical morale or social check rules, barring magical compulsion.

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It's a shame this story is probably fake

>>37079765
I dropped out of the group because they wanted to play DnD/PF all day everyday

I got sick of it and wanted to try other games like shadowrun or WoD but because the group is afraid of anything that isn't DnD or PF the only people in the group who want to do other games are me, someone else (who got sick of tabletops and quit them too) and the first THAT GUY

>>37079988
I never much cared if stuff like this was fake. It's a win/win.

For real - Holy Shit, glad no one is dead
Fake - That's a fucking entertaining story

>>37079988

Fake or not, that line about doing research will have me laughing for days.

>>37079988
>>37080030
The internet makes the world a much more magical place if you lower your standards and increase your gullibility.

>>37079912
yes. He was not happy and accused me of being butthurt over orphans.

>>37079923
I really respect lawful evil. Never played with anyone who rolled chaotic neutral, what's it like?

>>37079935
It's why I don't play when they DM anymore. Really can't stand people who take advantage of meta-gaming and even more so with DMs who allow that shit to happen.

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>>37079105
OP, he will follow you, and you know that.

>>37080098
>Never played with anyone who rolled chaotic neutral, what's it like?

Done properly, it's either rebel without a cause, or Garrett from Thief: The Dark Project.
He has no dog in the fight between good and evil, but does have a real problem with authority figures. He doesn't trust them, and neither should you.

Played badly, they're lolrandumb and probably dickass thieves as well.

>>37080098
The problem that I've always run into with CN is that people seem to think it means "My alignment changes based on the session."
It's really obnoxious, because you never know what kind of bullshit they're going to pull this session.

>>37079974
I'm playing 5e would the same rule apply? where would I need to check I have all the handbooks

>>37080174
>>37080180
This is why alignments are shit. Because they make you think that 'THESE TWO WORDS ARE THE ENTIRETY TO MY CHARACTER' and that's shit regardless of if it's Chaotic or Lawful or Good or Neutral.

>>37080180
alignments suck and always leads to people whining and bitching. I don't care what alignment people suscribe to. Give me three principles and three goals and I'm ready to go.

>>37079923
> Decide to be antipaladin
> GM says he's fine with that
> Roll CE
> Careful to be CE in a manner where it won't harm/interfere with the party
> Refrain from doing stupid things
> GM gets mad at me later for unrelated reasons
> GM starts interrupting me when I'm talking about plans IC to propose stupid things (e.g. you'd be happy to murder the party and the town they'd be working to establish)
> Ignore suggestions
> Build a dining-room-table-sized shrine
> Gain 1d20 followers
> Inquisitor for god of freedom shows up
> GM Math: 1d20 followers + small shrine + 1 month = abortion pit full of half-dead fetuses
> Wtf
> Where'd all these abortions come from?
> Can I at least have money for all these abortions we've apparently been performing for people?
> Inquisitor of god of freedom: Get rid of this shrine in a month or I'm coming back with 500 men to destroy this town pretty much
> GM didn't want the campaign to be about "religion" but approved me playing an antipaladin to begin with
I walked out shortly afterwards and so did half of the other party members.

>>37080033
Wanna buy a bridge?
>>37080098
I've played CN before, but the character didn't end up being an lolsorandom-basically-chaotic-evil asshat. I've also played alongside CN characters, with a ratio of 60:40 asshats to non-asshats.

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Anyone wanna screencap the tale of Zach? It'd be much appreciated.
I need it for GM research

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>in a party of lawful goods, neutrals, chaotic good
>newbie wants to play as cn because he's probably an edgelord
They all learn eventually.

Alright guys, all this talk of Chaotic Neutral has me worried I might be that guy...

I made a Chaotic Neutral rogue, and I can't tell if I'm doing a good job at being chaotic neutral. I want to say I'm playing my character as not giving a damn about the law, using mildly evil methods for good outcomes, putting his own well being above everything else, and doing what he deems to be necessary at the time, like stealing if I need the gold for something and not stealing if I don't currently need anything.

Currently nobody minds in the group, but I'd like to avoid fucking up in the future. Is there like a questionnaire to determine how much of a That Guy you are?

Also I might have made my character after Joseph Joestar...

>>37080225
I can kinda see your arguement, and if I don't have to would just skim over the part about alignments. But as several feats, spells, and abilities are tied to alignment, I really can't be bothered to re-tool the whole damn system to exclude it, I just have better things to do with my time.

But then I get around it by making clear that alignment is meant to represent a BROAD generalization of the character and serve more as a guideline when working out the character, and reflects a general look at how they think under normal circumstances. so really it only comes up if the PC is CONSISTENTLY acting outside his alignment and/or has little-to-no reason given to be acting as such.

The only other time I bring alignment up is during character creation, as I have a strict "No evil characters" rule. Though with one exception, most don't complain about it.

long story short: so long as the players don't make an issue of the alignments I don't make an issue of the alignments.

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>>37078487

>>37080098
As someone who plays cn right (my dm even told me so), all these chaotic randum people really erk me. Chaotic does not me non-internally consistent it just means the opposite of lawful. And neutral at least how I always took it is, I'm not looking out for the greater good, or evil, I'm looking out for me.

Though to be fair the campaign really helped in playing that. Evil totalitarian god and all. He didn't want adventures to be a thing because who else could stop him. I didn't like being told not to do that. Ended up becoming a somewhat reluctant and confused pirate queen, helped a god of law retake his throne (or more appropriately used a god of law to make killing said evil god easier),and then realising, wait I have powers that let me travel the planes, and fucked off denying reward and stranding a few hundred pirates in a demi-plane.

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>>37080477
I just do away with alignment restrictions. Be a paladin warlock or a monk barbarian. See what I care. But I dig the style.
The whole principles and goals thing just helps me decide what the fuck kind of campaign to make, anyway.

>>37080021
Pic related for you.

>>37078755
Lurk more, fucking nigger

>>37079149
What is this magic?!

>>37080455
How much bitching do you invoke? If none, you're fine. No bitching is always fine. Stop worrying people and just pay attention to the bitching. It's the barometer of your campaign.

Also, general things to consider: you're probably fine if you work with the group and play consistently whatever you're playing. Doing random things in hopes of making he party laugh is "randumb."