Hear ye, hear ye, I call to order another meeting of the Mage Guild.Now that the New Year is passed, we must make arrangements to repair the Guild Hall and tidy the hallways. Also we must make a formal apology to the local government and union leaders for the ruckus that was created during the New Year's Eve. Those of you involved know who you are. Also, on the subject of overtime, any overtime shall be held in the Archive so we do not disturb the establishment any more. Celestials only know that we've aggravated the Union enough.
>>37289462Can I smoke in here?
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/ when/if 404Also this is like, 2+ hours early I think.
>>37289535I can't imagine why not. It seems like you have dropped your Name tag however.
>>37289541Perhaps in your timezone, Chronomancer. In this plane it has been Saturday for quite some time.
>>37289462Excellent, I'm just in time for our once-a-week meeting.The next town over tried to burn me as an apostate witch, so just make sure you don't tell them I'm here when you send your letters.
>>37289603 Vex! Good to see you again! Now when you say apostate witch...?
only the Archwizard can call meetings. idiot
>>37289682It's a long story. I spanked a few of their squires, and then I sent them a letter of challenge, and then they sent more paladins and firebombed the swamp and arrested me and burned me at the stake.I got better.Good to see you, too!
So I finally managed to clear out that nest of monsters in the Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-SUB basement. Bad news for whoever makes their apprentices wear blue robes with gold trim, There were about 20 of them down there getting gnawed on. It took nearly all week but I don't think I missed anything important? Everyone seems to have kept to themselves this week. Much like what I expected to be happening around here.>>37289603Hopefully you made it out with all of your hairs unsinged.>>37289729Not that I can be sure or anything, But I'm quite sure he is busy or he would have called it himself.
*reaches from his beanbag chair at home to a back in the meeting hall*What is this about now? I thought we were done.
Rolled 149 (1d190)>>37289759That reminds me, I need to see how many of my students are still alive.
>>37289603I'm always in for a little burning. I like my human charred and crunchy, but I doubt some villagers can create a fire as magnificent as my brilliant breath. Thats said however I surely won't snitch.
>>37289729S-silence you! I can call meetings in his stead, besides I am not sure if he attended the Council meeting in which we determined our new schedule.
Can you guys just go to some subreddit or some shit already, where you're actually welcome?
>>37289791Whoa, you a real dragon?>>37289747 What did you just say? Revenge smitings? That sounds like a wonderful idea.
>>37289462I take in Antruthius is taking his once in a decade year off?>>37289603What happened?>>37289759Glad my apprentices are in flat blue robes.
>>37289860We're working on it. Please be patient.
>>37289747People always seem to underestimate the power of an undying devotion to do something. You're probably lucky they are also quite set in their ways and unlikely to ever adapt and improve their disposal procedure. Ive run into an awful lot of Mages who 'Got better' after the paladins around here gave them the once over. >>37289860 GOD FORBID PEOPLE ROLEPLAY ON /tg/ WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO, SURELY THIS IS OFF TOPIC, NOW COMMISAR WHY DOESNT X JUST Z? >>37289886>>37289791Please don't burn down a...Relatively innocent village because of a few 'Religious Fanatics'
>>37289860The Guild has been a tradition since forever. There is no reason we should disband because of some butthurt newfags.
>>37289860>not being a member of the mage guild>mentioning that other placeIt's like you're only pretending to be into /tg/ anon.
>>37289844I called the council you daft codger! This meeting was supposed to be about those damn coastal wizards and their grimoire offering supposed mastery over every aspect of existence!
>>37289462Habby new yerds everyboneIs everyone fire here?IM geddin a lil tipsy
>>37289924(How did those endspoilers get all the way down there? Hmph)
>>37289886No, but I aspire to become one. My father is a dragon however, Draconis the Red, ever heard of him? He is one of the investors of the guild. Anyways, I'm a half-dragon with a human mother.
>>37289958Any bets on whether the cult of paizozus will choke them out this year?
>>37289924 Listen Random, am I pronouncing that right? Religious Extremism is a poison no mattention what form it takes. Besides, I don't know about Vex, but I'm relatively precise. Big, but precise. Like a giant scapel.
"Hey guys!"
>>37289924Well, they were rather nice about it, trying not to involve the rest of the guild and all. Cute, too.
>>37289924>Forum roleplay>/tg/ relatedJesus fucking christ. Just fuck off to gaiaonline already. It's great, you do all the asterisk actions and freeform bullshit you want there. You'll all fit right in.
>>37290001It's on my card, what do you think?>>37290010Or a baseball bat.>>37290022Hello>>37290047Obvious troll is obvious.
>>37289958If they had a book that let them master all of Existence wouldn't they have buggered off to a private universe full of naked bunnygirl maids and whatever other stereotypical things a wizard may put in their dream world? Why would anyone believe their claims>>37290010I would prefer you also not murder a bunch of paladins for responding exactly how they were expected to respond to a taunting mail, They arent bright but do you want to go around dealing with all the baby necromancers and hedgewizards who think they can control the world in their place?
Greetings again, I have completed the plan for the new north-western wing and tasked a group of smaller golems with it's construction.What can I do for you today.
Oh also i missed any drawfagging on the last weeks. Did anyone save the character images?
>>37289924Listen catperson, I don't just burn down whole villages, maybe one-two buildings to scare them. In the end a village is still a source of income and burning it down would minimize my profit, als the villager are my property, they belong to me anyways, why should I burn them? Except they insult me, then their life is forfeit.
>>37290073That it has a 50/50 chance of being a trick.>>37290079Different strokes for different folks I suppose. My money is on those paizozus guys anyways, rabid dedicated cult and all that
>>37290087One of the Geomancers wrecked the training room again wit a lava spout. Anything you can do about that?>>37290098Fryja isn't on for it yet.
>>37290127*smiles* Maybe, care to find out?
>>37290132Ah Soros, I almost forgot, I have a present for you from my father. As thank you for finding the Kobolds.
>>37290154Not really. Think I'll buy the book though, if only for a laugh. "Master of worlds, master of rules, master of adventure." Hah! As if.
>>37290132How extensive is the damage, I have five lesser golems that are trained to repair damage from fire or heat.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Some of the gear I grabbed from my trip to the Fighter's Guild while some of their members rudely told me to get lost ended up being enchanted, And It wont last long around me. Anyone want to trade some fancy whetstones for some more practical not enchanted ones? Would be a shame to waste the effort and magic.>>37290194Don't forget, The most important step of becoming a master of reality is to give all your gold to InsertCultLeaderNameHere
Good evening everyone.
>>37290190What is it?>>37290194Go for it. *Examines card*>>37290211Pretty bad, lava is coming out of the bathroom adjacent.
>>37290226Sure, I'm up for a trade.
>>37290226Why not both? I've got money to burn here. It's all for entertainment anyways. Still the matter of how to respond to such an insult though. Then again, the coastal wizard puts out good things occasionally, I know I'm guilty of taking a few pages out of his spellbook. Nine hells do I love weird.
>>37289990Huehue. *Enjoys mental image.*
>>37290073>Nods Or a bat. >>37290079Baby Necromancers? Why I EAT THEM MUAHAHAHA. But honestly I only had some light pranking in mind. Light, explosive pranks...>>37290022Noone! My rougish compatriot! What's going on?>>37289990Ah I only ask because my brother is a Dragon Blooded Sorcerer. Being A dragonborn he looks rather like a small dragon wearing people clothes. I was curious if you where the same.
>>37290073>Obvious troll is obvious.Not even trolling. You retards literally act like something straight out of a gaiaonline forum, and you're getting your threads deleted so often that you have this fag >>37289541 reminding everyone to go ghostpost if you want to continue the faggotry when the mods wake up. What is the point? You know you aren't welcome here. You don't even make your threads easily filterable. The only thing that makes you better than questfags is that you haven't irrecoverably infested the board yet, which is kind of like saying one cancer is better than another because it's less malignant.Just do us both a favor and fuck off. You'll all be happier for it. On your new website, I'm sure you'll even meet other likeminded retards to be retarded with. It'll be great.
>>37290226"Wait, you follow him too? Oh man I love that guy! I even signed all my stuff over to him."
>>37289958F-forgive me m-master!
>>37290256Ah, a simple fix then, back when I was originally created Mages were less disciplined and often turned entire wings of the guild into twisting nether realms when using magic to clean their teeth.My lessers will have it fixed within the our.
>>37290252Good evening James>>37290283*nods*>>37290290Ok Shitposter go take your nap, you're obvious tired.
>>37290283"I have no idea but i'm REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT!"
>>37290259Cool. I don't know what they are meant to do, Whatever it is doesn't interest me. I prefer unenchanted anyway. >>37290266I would expect an insult to lead to much burning, Perhaps redirect the current desire to burn poor Paladins towards burning unrespectful coastal wizards until they gain some respect?>>37290290 >Filtering Mage Guild is too hard waah
>>37290318>Ok Shitposter go take your nap, you're obvious tired.I don't see how any of the point I raised make for a shitpost, or imply fatigue.
>>37290290
>>37290348They forgot to fill in the subject field. I swear it's like herding cats with you people.
Aaaaand now we're all shitposting. Great.
>>37290379 I can filter post text just fine, But yeah they did leave off the subject for the newfags to filter.
>>37290348Well, someone>>37290311 didn't use the acronym we decided on to make filtering easy.But it can't be helped now.
>>37290372They literally create forum roleplay threads for people like you on websites such as Gaiaonline. Don't worry, you'll fit right in, I assure you.
>>37290256*searches in his bag of holding* Uh wait...present, present,present...jewels,gold,princess....AH the present! *Hands Soros a black crystal ball with a swirling red core* If you scry using this crystal ball you can cast spells as if you was there.>>37290274My father shapeshifted if it is difference in size that amuses you.>>37290283No I'm pretty human, except for fangs, claws and a few scales here and there. I can also grow wings if I want to fly.
>>37290315Good too hear, i remember that time one Geomancer sunk the entire guild hall. >>37290423Excellent do thank him for me. How has his health been lately?
>>37290413I do not think people want to or will do that.
>>37290407Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!! ...what was the acronym again...?
>>37290423Oh!Oh!Is this *hic* giftday?I have something for you all! Favorite day of the year!
>>37290407"Hey vex, any more trouble with the local sacred pigs?">>37290490TGRPT!!!!!
>>37290490Just put "Mage's Guild Meeting" in the subject line. No other threads use that.
>>37290490Mages Guild in the subject box
>>37290413Wouldn't it be cool if one person could make a group of people move away with nothing but nice words? What a world it would be.
>>37290460Which is fine, there just needs to be people like me who keep reporting them, until they go away.I'm not going to let another brand of cancer infest /tg/ like questfags did. Freeform forum roleplay bullshit is so far beyond the line for 4chan norms I can't even believe it's a question, and only goes to show you how badly the forum has been diluted by lesser people from lesser websites.
>>37290447I am afraid Father is getting old, he looses scales everywhere and his sight isn't as good as it used to be. He sleeps a lot lately, the Kobolds are getting rather bold due to that, nothing I can't fix by torching some alive though.
>>37290549Been a thing since 2009 here.
>>37290447I once had to pull the guild hall 50 miles after it had been levitated and blown away after a rather large party.That was a few centuries if I remember,
>>37290508They haven't come back to my swamp yet, so it's safe to assume they don't know I'm still alive.Have those succubi girls returned yet?
>>37290517>>37290512Was this not done? I could have sworn I did it.. oh bother the Archwizard will have my hide!
>>37290537I don't intend to ignore the fire while the kitchen is burning, thank you.
>>37290569As far as I know, no.
>>37290562The cancer ends now, then.
>>37290576Don't worry to much about it Oros, we all forget things sometimes.
>>37290549I'm not trying to use it as a generic insult or anything, but sir, you are a Nazi. You are purely a Nazi. Definitively and certainly a Nazi.
>>37290584"Come quick Ethel, some people are pretending to be wizards on the internet! And on the nerdy hobbies board no less!"
Oh, And I don't know if anyone really cares, My Order is sending a couple apprentices up here to me, Both to learn from me how to be diplomatic and probably to try to spy on you all. Try not to hurt them too bad. I sincerely doubt you will have any difficulty hiding things from them. At worst they may...Well do what I did when I got here. I'll try and keep them in line, More for their own safety than anyone elses. They won't be here for a few weeks at least.
>>372906124chan was never good. Hate to break it to you.
>>37290549This has been here for years anon, get over yourself.>>37290550Yes well how is his project going?>>37290564I was there telling him it was a bad idea if you recall.>>37290569Not that i can see.>>37290584>>37290612Stop having fun guys guys it badwrongfun because i saw so!
>>37290584But that fire is just your roommate turning the oven on so he can cook his ramen. It won't burn down the house. It's a controlled fire, for boiling water and such. Why won't you let your friend light this tiny part of the stove and enjoy his meal?
>>372906121. BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER.2. PARTY ON, DUDES. (AND DUDETTES)can't you just follow the rules? we're not hurting anyone. we're just having fun.>>37290569No, but I they always come back and in larger numbers.
>>37290645Make sure its not that time of the year for them. I'm not dealing with that again.
>>37290645Spying on wizards is like spying on oranges.We either do exactly what you think we are doing or you will never notice it.
>>37290333THAT'S THE ATTITUDE!>Goes for High Five with an uncharacteristically fleshy left arm>It grows a extra thumb, then mirrors, creating a "maw" of fingers. Then orange eyes and teeth set in purple gums.OH GODS! NO! STOP! BAD DARWIN! BAD! STOP! NO EATING FREINDS! >The mimic morphs back into its coppery arm form, then wraps itself back around the metal limb, a single eye dourly eyeing NooneSorry about that...he's not house trained yet.
>>37290622God, you must feel so persecuted. Dis is anada shoah.>>37290628Feel free to do it on gaiaonline, they accept that sort of behavior there.
>>37290645I do warn you that although I am a labour and craft golem, and generally conduct repairs of the guild hall, I am also programmed to capture and detain potential spies and threats. I am also designed to be immune to all elemental, chaotic and holy energies to allow me to work anywhere. Do warn them of this.
>>37290423>My father shapeshifted if it is difference in size that amuses you.You're no fun.>>37290678>No, but I they always come back and in larger numbers.Just like the cold sores they left me.My loins itch whenever a succubus is close.
Hang on a second, isn't it poker night?
>>37290697I do, actually. Something I enjoy is no longer viable on a site I enjoy being a part of. I mean, it's not Jew-level persecution, but it's still persecution.Please understand that you are a Nazi. Not trying to troll you or sling insults at you. You fill all the basic tenets of being a Nazi.
>>37290668I have trouble remembering faces of members from then due to my two centuries of dormancy.
>>37290678>1. BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER.>2. PARTY ON, DUDES. (AND DUDETTES)>can't you just follow the rules? we're not hurting anyone. we're just having fun.You don't have to be hurting anyone to break the rules, Anon. That's why your threads are being deleted :^)>>37290653I won't allow it to be quite as bad as gaiaonline, and that starts with getting you faggots to fuck off.
Just arrived. Last meeting something whisked me out of existance again!Or was it next meeting?Anyway, tell your apprentices that they shouldn't get their privates inside portable holes. I've rescued yet another young man and it's not something I plan to do again. Don't we have an infirmary?
>>37290619 Hello there, James. Or is it Sire? I'm not joking, I'm not sure.
>>37290693>Is missing a hand>Is still in shock and has not started screaming>The damn elf is getting his blood on the floor though. Bastard.
>>37290773Fair enough.>>37290774Then just ignore us, we are one thread.>>37290804*Cure light wounds*
Where are all the fine wizard ladies at?
>>37290766Bit of an overreaction, don't you think?>>37290779Burned down last week.>>37290804Oh suck it up you pansy.
>>37290684I sincerely doubt normal oranges do anything we are not aware of. Then again I can't fully deny it i guess.>>37290726>>37290645Even so, Danial has a point, spying on us is probably pointless.>>37290799Just James is fine, as we are all peers here.
>>37290668Depends on which project you ask for. The "collecting draconic lore for the genrations to come"-project is not going that well because the other Dragons don't want to share their secrets, the books about red dragons are almost finished though.The "kidnapping a princess from every race"-project worked well enough, although I hate playing princesssitter for tem.The "collecting useless magical artifacts"-project is pretty fun, however I don't think it's really, well, usefull.Oh and if you meant sending more money to the guild, yeah he did that, the Archwizard should have received tons of gold.
>>37290766>Please understand that you are a Nazi. Not trying to troll you or sling insults at you. You fill all the basic tenets of being a Nazi.Hitler was right, so that works out for me.But no really Anon, do go on about how people telling you to take your faggotry elsewhere is filling the basic tenants of being a national socialist and putting you in a concentration camp. Milk the emotional value of that word for all it's worth.
>>37290680As I said, Ill try to keep them in line. Don't know how much luck I'll have. Depends how my job was explained to them and whether or not they are young enough to do that god awful REBEL AGAINST EVERYTHING thing.>>37290684The proper way to spy on wizards is to not spy on them. Then you learn plenty of secrets and get accepted into their meetings where they discuss all manner of guild secrets openly.>>37290726I am quite certain that they will not be in danger of learning anything useful. They are going to try too hard and be much too inexperienced. I am more worried about them getting hurt, I'll probably lock them up in a room or something. >>37290764Is it?>>37290825There's uh, Noel I think? She may be around later. She hates me.>>37290833Most likely. Nothing really goes on here that they should care about, However they will likely spend hours writing down pointless information that will be useless days or hours later.
>>37290833You have no idea what the citrus people are capable of. I have reason to believe that they have been at war with scurvy for centuries.
>>37290823>Is bleeding slightly less>>37290829"You're aaaaAAHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH">Oh great the screaming has started.>>37290766 Godwins laws, sorry anon.
>>37290823>Then just ignore us, we are one thread.Nah, questfags were "just one thread" at one point too. I won't allow your particular brand of faggotry to proliferate just because you're too lazy to take it to a website where it's considered permissible.
>>37290873I could construct a holding pen for them if you wish, I am an expert at construction and making bouquets.
>>37290764Is it? Cause I am a huge fan of card games, especially when there's money on the line.>>37290804Oh shit! I didnt see that he bit you! Oh Gods above and below! >>37290825You should definitely talk to Vex, that fiiiine witch over there. >SnickersI heard she's a big fan of backrubs. But could you confirm that for me? I, uh, have a friend that wants to know...
>>37290912Probably don't need anything fancier than a Mid tier magical lock on my room that's totally not mine and not stolen from someone else.
>>37290859Meant creating his "special item," guess you don't know about it then.>>37290887Your welcome. *Cure wounds*>>37290873Setting him up with Noel do you want him dead?>>37290923You too?
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>37290923We play it a little differently here.>>37290887Oh hold still. I'll warn you, I'm not very good at pyromancy, but I think I can cauterize it.
Members of the guild, due to the fact that no one has managed to find out Lich Cerik's current whereabouts or what he is off doing instead of taking care of his duties as a Department Head. I am now announcing my return to the position as Head of the Necromancy Department....even though part of me suspect Cerik did this just so I would do so.
>>37290887FUCKING QUIT SCREAMING MAN, YOU'LL JUST AGGRAVATE HIM!>>37290912Ser Golem, you wouldn't happen to take commision would you? An illithid cult burned down my apartment and I've been living in the Fighter-Wizard's guild since then...>>37290833Well it's good to see you again James.
>>37290829Ah, that was simulacra numer #65832-b.Halfway through the meeting I retired to my base to get my feet in hot water, programming a system to run the whole economy is tiresome.Glad to see you, maese conspierre.Was the panty conspiration solved? Did you catch the culprit?>>37290804I can grow you another hand if you wish, although it may or may not be sentient, I lost the template for normal long ago.>>37290945This I may help with, I can create an infinite number of theorethical rooms within the constraints of a single one, however, to build actual rooms, I need a transcendental building permit, 10 bricks, and one small yellow bird.
>>37290996Suckers bet my friend. Still good for you!
>>37290967>Stops bleeding>Pokes the stump"Thanks Soros!">>37290923"I really like that saying, above and below.">>37291008"SORRRRRRRY!">>37291009"COOL! DO IT DO IT DOIT!"
>>37290967Me too what?>>37290983I think I can keep up.
>>37291008I am designed to construct anyting requested by guild members, within reason.Demonic castles that walk are to be denied after the last time I was tasked with constructing one.The mage went mad and tried to destroy everything.
>>37290860I'm not trying to be emotional. You're trying to infect Dunwall with plague rats to kill the poor, because no one should ever be allowed to act or think differently than you. If you just ignore our one thread, you wouldn't be a Nazi. You'd be a pretty cool guy. Yet you're here telling us to pack up our teepees and move to Oklahoma because our thread doesn't fit in with your divine vision of a pure /tg/.You are a Nazi. You need more friends to call you out on things like this anon. You need to be less of a Nazi.
>>37291045Alright, I'll deal. Who else is in on this?
>>37291008You as well.>>37290904this thread has been considered permissible since it started, shitposting never has. Just because a new mod is butthurt he had no friends to hang with on new years doesnt mean we are in the wrong.
>>37291009Here are some bricks sir>Pulls ten bricks out of a compartment in his chest.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>37290996Definitely part of him did.His dessicated and dusted frontal lobe me thinks.Very good at poker, lil cheater.>>37291037Hachirma-hsaeka-niam>Rollan to see if your hand is a bro. And if so, how bro it is.
>>37291063I'm in
>>37291009>Sentient handDepending on which hand it is that could be a problem. Just sayin'.
>>37291045Setting him up to die.>>37291037*nods*
>>37291063I'll keep an eye out and make sure everyone keeps their cheating subtle.
>>37291090>Not the nat 20 that was needed>Noone's new hand starts to choke him
>>37291061Holy shit dude, why do you care so much that someone doesn't like your fun? If it gets deleted, we ghost thread. If not, we don't. It really shouldn't matter that much if someone hates your fun.>>37291100Alright, I've got two so far
>>37290967My father is creating a special item? And I don't know about it? The only thing I ever saw him "creating" was making Dragonbrand Whiskey, and even I can't drink that without burning from the inside.
>>37291037Ew don't fuckin' poke it man! But yeah Calvert, my home, has a massive under society, going all the way down to the underdark, but we have towers that scrape the sky, there are larger ones in a nearby city but we like ours better, so we have a healthy respect for the gods above and below.>>37291113If he lives or gets zapped depends on his skill.
Apologies for being so late. That first week is utter hell.Three zombie outbreaks. THREE. IN THE FIRST WEEK.In other news, these threads are still happening then? Nice.
>>37291121I'm in, if you'll allow me.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>37291086Thank you very much... Mmmm... I believe I know your factory cousin, old marble prototype. Good fellow. May I ask where to initiate the tramits for the per... >>37291119Good lord, hand, BEHAVE YOURSELF
>>37291143Ouch Yeah we might get banned and have a butt hurt anon posting here here right now though.
>>37291117Killjoy. That's half the fun.>>37291148But of course. No divining the entire deck, keep it to the cards in people's hands, and only once every few turns.
>>37291121he was saying we are right, also we should just ignore the shitposters so they leave>>37291143Don't worry to much about it, the first week of a new term is always difficult on the apprentices.
>>37291063Me, obviously >>37291119OH SHIT!>Grabs Noone's hand>With his left arm>Darwin begins to thrash the hand, detaching from the Warforged limb
>>37291182Sure *smiles* i can do that.
>>37291143Let me know if you need a hand cleaning up, Sometimes I miss the good old days when the biggest thing I had to worry about was a particularly strong zombie. Our apprentices have lost limbs in their first week so don't be too hard on them. At least they didn't cut their own arm off.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>37291101Oh don't worry, hostile hands tend to either choke the fellas or masturbate furiously in public meetings. Nothing out of the ordinary. Hostile feet are... far far...>>37291119Dammit hand! BEHAVE or ILL CUT YOU AGAIN
>>37291050Excellent, thank you kindly Golem.Its in A city far from here however, would be able to make it there?
>>37291163My cousin?Where did you see him may I ask, it has been centuries since we last conversed.
>>37290363autist please go
>>37291024Good indeed, I consider my ultimately brief time away from the office as a bit of a vacation but it seems I'm the only one who is both capable and willing to lead this department.>>37291143Only three? I expected at least five with the bunch of apprentices we have at the moment.
>>37291163>does his best to say "they finally got my hand to them them.">Passes out from lack of air to his ..... well he's an elf so he doesn't have a brain so I have no idea why he is passing out.....
>>37291195Right then. I want a good clean match of wizards poker. No blows beneath the belt, no poisonings, no explosive runes, and no shahrazad's gambits. We all remember what happened last time. Right then. First three on the table: lord of spades, knave of diamonds, bigby's crushing hand.
>>37291255 Join them* god dammit
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>37291233I saw it next week thurday noon inside the old tower, department of transmutation and intransmutables... he was holding a funeral for a small gerbil... Also the tower may or may not crumble next monday>>37291255Okay hand, you forced my hand >inverse roll
>>37291259any rules I need to know about this before we start?
>>37291251Many are willing you're the only one i'd give it too though.>>37291255*pokes with a staff*>>37291259*smiles* call.
>>37291255>Snatches Darwin the Arm Mimic off Noone's handQuit it you little fucker!>>37291259Wait what
>>37291306Ah, I shall get ready to repair it then.And I will visit my cousin, we have many things to dicuss, like building techniques and floral arrangement.
>>37291228Out of curiosity, have any hands you've regrown ever expressed sympathy or support towards National Socialism?
>>37291314It's the same way /tg/ plays chessRight, that gives vex three black mana, soros one face down trap card, and Dramorn one limited wish.Gentlemen: draw your cards. May mystra have mercy on us all.
>>37291251Considering half the apprentices try to be antagonistic and "edgy" all the time just to be " cool", i can see why.>>37291314>>37291320Have you never played wizards poker before? make shit up as you go
>>37291306No idea what that does>>37291320>Flips you the bird
>>37291251I managed to get most of the rest under control before they could be called proper outbreaks.There were several where some of them managed to raise opposing hordes. They then proceeded to eat one another.On another note... I could have sworn we had another Head of Necromancy who had recently been resurrected. Huh. Ah well. If we do I've got tenure.
>>37291368I have no clue how that works.>draws cards
>>37291352Ha! Good one. Also I don't think we've met, have we? I re-joined on new years an' well...things got kinda weird and I don't remember everything.
>>37291368Uh can't Soros just look at your hands using his divination?
>>37291368 what?
>>37291405Ah yes, the head was indeed resurrected, he was a pleasant fellow.
>>37291292There there, mister elf, your hand is now a handy hand now. I've just replaced your unconciousness with conciousness, you can wake up now.>>37291352No, hands don't know about pollitics. Remember that the danger is the intention behind the hand, not the hand itself.>>37291394>The bad hand withers and runs away since it's a mimic, and a good hand grows on its place. The good hand is like a normal hand except it has sentience and works for your best interest.Also knows how to cook.>Inverse roll changes the 3 for a 17.
>>37291368*draws a card and flip it over haphazardly*Chaos sea*flips other card*Creation's chains.I get another draw and raise 30 gold, unless some one counters.>>37291415Maybe.
>>37291410they start with a chess board and put random shit on it>>37291415It really won't help him as much as you might think it would in this kind of game.
>>37291410I've seen a dark ritual to summon godzilla fail critically, allowing an opponent to deep strike a squad of terminators.Soros calls, while in a chair facing north on a saturday, guild hall rotates 90 degrees and fourteen crabs gain sentience in the nearest seafood restaurant. A bold move.
>>37291061>You are a Nazi. You need more friends to call you out on things like this anon. You need to be less of a Nazi.They were pretty great dressers though, and I could get onboard with moving the Jews out of the country. Could be worse. At least I'm not a freeform forum roleplayer.>Tumblr *still* thinks throwing this insult around has any meaning at all
>>37291479>TumblrBut tumblr is one of us, National Socialists.Remember when they started complaining about people using dreads?It was because they make their culture less unique. That was literally the reason. Tumblr would be well accepted within the Nazi circle.
>>37291061Just hide posts.
>>37291451>Plots
>>37291405I was until recently known by most members of the guild as "The recently re-resurrected ex-head of necromancy", or are you referring to Talamore the Dreadful whose head recently got resurrected by one of the apprentices? Or was that Talamore...
Rolled 29 (1d30)>>37291471I floop the pig!
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>37291394You little five fingered shit...>>37291389Ah thanks James.>>37291368Rolls to sneak 4 Aces and a Gold Dragon into his hand from his robot arm. 20-17= no one sees or suspects me. 16-12 people suspect me of cheating. 11-1 The cards shoot out of the arm.
>>37291451>Wiggles his new hand"Hey thanks!"
>>37291524The faster we all ignore him, the faster he leaves.>>37291553That poor pig.
>>37291575Really?>>37291553Poor pig.
>>37291412Nope. I spend quite a bit of time doing "research" in the field, so I only rarely show up to these meetings. Quite uninvited and unexpected. >>37291451If one had two sentient hands, would the right hand know what the left hand was doing?
>>37291548Huh. Well, alright then. If I'm wrong I have tenure out the goddamn ass.Welcome back.
>>37291575FUUUU- >Cards shoot out of a compartment on the left arm, scaring Darwin offDarwin get back here!>>37291524Hey Redwood, didn't see you come in!
>>37291530 I didn't know I could do this, thanks!>>37291553"Ha, stupid pig."
>>37291580>The faster we all ignore him, the faster he leaves.I'm like a Firefighter, except I respond to rampant bouts of faggotry. Where there's homosexuality, there's me.>>37291524Nah. I don't think Tumblr ever rebuilt a poverty-stricken nation's economy, so Nazis actually did more beneficial things than Tumblr ever did.
>>37291605I think it counts as in play now, since it left his hand and end up on the table.
>>37291553The pig floops spectacularly, causing arcane fire to rain down upon the other players, dealing damage to their life total, and pulling your bet out of the pot. Note that you may still win this hand, and claim the remainder.>>37291460Well played, next card on the table is black lotus. All players gain one mana of a color of their choosing.>>37291575Card cannon! Card cannon! Lightning round! Everyone take cover!
>>37291576It's nothing mister elf, we're here to help.>>37291544This best be a plot for reaching good ends, unless you want to spend a few dozen eternities mindlessly wanking the whizzard, you little shit.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>37291672I reanimate myself a hand and join the table.
>>37291652Really this early?>>37291667Indeed.>>37291672Hmm, *Chains the lightning to a reactor and deflects the cannon onto Vex.*
>>37291672[Shadow Shield]
>>37291672But I'm not even here!>BBZAAATSee?
>>37291685"*Come on man, would you really deprive this fine elf of a working hand?"*in asl
>>37291642Howdy, I don't think I've met you properly either. Name's Dramorn, Master of the elements, swinger of swords, and owner of Darwin the Arm Mimic, which covers up this arm right here.>Points to Warforged arm
>>37291652Yeah, i was a little>hicDrunk when i came in.What is everyone doing anyways? I don't understand this card game at all.
>>37291724You maniac, what have you done!>Storm clouds fill the hall, music is faintly heard as if from a great distance away
>>37291750Huh. Interesting.Very Interesting arm you have there...
>>37291760*table inverts and laughs* Made things interesting.
Rolled 401 (1d666)>>37291672Ducks and covers under the table!
>>37291724Damn, I need to get in the game! I play this Fork of Horipulation!
>>37291759So far they are well within the existing rule of the game. If its any consolation.
>>37291748Oh, what's that? did you said that you wanted to become a teletubbie's hand instead? Cause I can grant you that wish mothafucka. You'll suffer it and instantly reappear and the elf wouldn't even know that you were gone. Now make sandwiches for everyone
>>37291780>>37291781Who dares summon my magnificence? What mortal folly has caused the lightning round?
>>37291672*a {Welcome to the Party} card lands at James' feet*Well guess I am playing to then.
>The golem sits down at the table and in a bold move places both the hand and eye of Vecna on the table.I play these.
Rolled 5 (1d777)>>37291774Indeed, check out what it can do!>>37291781>Pumps arm>Lantern Shield deploys from arm>Blocks
>>37291816Dramorm caused it i chained it.>>37291789Ouch crystal cards give feedback now.
>>37291759From what I can tell, the game originated when a session of Mornington Crescent became sentient. Things went downhill from there.>>37291760Ah. Speaking of which.
>>37291845Dropped nametag.
Sirs I finished sweeping up the remains of the latests entrance exam, I shoved it all into that portal in the back of the room. Tom was a bit worried about it but what could possibly go wrong?
>>37291810"*How? this idiot isn't with in arms reach on anything edible and trust me you do not want to eat the elf."*In asl
>>37291816Ah hello ermm... I'm not supposed to say your name. sorry.Yes, I did not call you, but you still owe me those beers for *that little favor*, in Erebus?If you could pay me, that'll be great.
Rolled 12 (1d30)>>37291844I take advantage of your low roll by flooping the dragon!
Rolled 180 (1d1000)>>37291838>>37291839>>37291789>>37291800>>37291781>>37291845>>37291847Very well then, it seems we have enough people here for a walk off! Beware mortals, for you must withstand the power of my magic dance to succeed!
>>37291845Don't throw me under the carriage! >>37291839Ah good one golem! However I have a Mace Of Cuthbert! >Slams the card downAha how's about tha- >>37291844>Gets hit square in the chest >zzZzZAP
>>37291839Nice move, you made Soros drop his nametag.>>37291839>>37291879OOOh met by an unexpectedly quick recovery.
>>37291816"OMG MISTER DAVID BOWIE SIR CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"
>>37291920I am immune to dance magic sir, apologies for the inconvenience.
>>37291889Oh, who's apprentice are you?I don't think I recognize you or the color of your robes. Definitely don't look like any of the uniforms from school.Wait, what kind of entrance exam?
Rolled 369 (1d1000)>>37291920
Rolled 709 (1d1000)>>37291920I can resist any dance!
Rolled 991 (1d1000)>>37291920You dare ignore my presence.>tosses leans his staff against the wall and throws his hat on the tableLet's dance.
>>37291891>... Your minor creation works to make things that aren't tissues too. Like food. And animated boobs. But don't do that. Animated boobs are soft but not very intelligent conversational partners.
>>37291930Sir I played the actual artefacts, that card does not compare.
>>37291920No no no no NO NOT AGAIN! I WILL NOT HAVE THIS TOMFOOLERY HERE. PREPARE YOURSELF, FOR I EXPEND FIFTEEN DEALERS CREDITS TO SUMMON ZOOLANDIUS!>>37291847QUICK, DEAL YOURSELF IN. SUMMONING ZOOLANDIUS IS A HARROWING RITUAL
>>37291930>>37291917N-not if-f I f-floop your d-dragon firzt..>Winks>Passes out
Rolled 843 (1d1000)>>37291920im game>>37291930Too late! take 3 damage.>>37291931Did you doubt?>>37291965Nice moves!>>37291980Chains of creation is still in play.
Rolled 353 (1d1000)>>37291965I am pleased by your offering, and shall offer aid!>>37291920GET THE HENCE BOWYER
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>37291920"Well then just call me Soterios Johnson"
Uh. Someone put a card in my hand. >Tosses it onto the table without looking at it
>>37292009>>37291998>>37291965>>37291964It's....it's beautiful.......>banishment ritual successful! All participants gain 45 gold. Don't spend it all in one place!
Rolled 661, 970, 467, 703, 940, 973, 255, 278, 411, 475 = 6133 (10d1000)>>37291920You still owe me my beers, I'm not dancing.
>>37292030>Kills 5 people, maims 12 more"NOT AGAIN!"
>>37291955Take That Bowie!>>37291976Its written in the rules man, artifacts and cards, along with spells, runes, throwing of food, and various other things, are all allowed.On that note, I read a paragraph out of "Dan's Big Book Of Circles and How to Use Them on Thursdays".
>>37292056Fucker always runs away before paying.
>Crawls back into the room>Sees Dramorn unconscious>Grows ALL THE TEETH>Growls
>>37289603>tried to burn me as an apostate witch>mfw
>>37291966>Starts throwing animated titties everywhere
>>37292092I cannot read.....And I must go for now, my lessers need to be checked on to ensure they are making good progress.
>>37291998Uh, ehy guys, what's up? Still tangled into that Bingo nonsense, Big S?
>>37292056*Uses gold to bind Creations herald unto the table*>>37292101*uses remaining gold to summon dread dentist face up in defense*
>>37292135Have a pleasant evening.
>>37291950I haven't gotten a personal instructor yet, as for the robe, a lot of us received these for Wizardmas from a secret santa.Oh and I think it must have been the biomancer entrance exam, very messy affair guts and gore all over the classroom.
>>37292077Five deaths, including three firstborn children. A cunning strategy, you've started a peasants revolt!>>37292035>Explosive runes!DAMNIT I SAID NO EXPLOSIVE RUNES>>37292101>Darwin used growl! The enemy CARD GAME's attack was lowered!
>>37292126>Sees Hand>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqjyBxv6O8U
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>37292101>Gets out tiny dung sac from sleeveGET IN THE BAG.>>37292126Wha?Oh no not you. I sentence you to be the hand of dinky winky or some shit.>POOF
>>37292150Good Evening Cromina. Care to join us in Wizards Poker?
>>37292150Nope poker.>>37292182Chaos sea debuffs titan's 500 points>>37292166Glad i have moon revolt up then.
>>37292166>Suggestion that Noone has a cunning plan>ever
>>37291998Well I've had time to practice.>>37292056>puts on his hat and returns to the table>>37292166I play The Tower to give myself a defencive position.
>>37292204It is wizard poker night? I thought we were not gonna do it since THAT time. You know.
>>37292183"*NOOOOOOOOO"*in asl
>>37292150It's poker night, deal yourself in.>>37292182>Darwin has declared a thumb war! All participants are treated to bitchin theme music and a display of greased up sweaty palms going at it!>>37292216Moon revolt activates, a large disembodied ass floats above the table, altering the tidal patterns of the sea of chaos for five turns!>>37292058>An IOU for the local tavern floats downwards. Examination will reveal that it is entirely valid.
>>37292238Apparently. It seems like a terrible idea, but its been a quiet week.
>>37292234I play the Handicapped Troll to knock your tower over!
>>37292238Dont worry, Conspierre outlawed Shahrazads Gambit already. >>37291259
>>37292159Huh, yeah. I can see that. Most students don't get a personal instructor until they've nearly graduated.You know, I would really rather not know what this year's Biomancy entrance exam was.What courses are you enrolled in, anyway? I can't tell when students aren't wearing their uniforms.>>37292234When you're done with that I think we need to discuss the curriculum for the Necromancy courses. They haven't changed in a long while and I've been thinking we should teach proper used corpse recycling procedures before teaching them how to properly utilize virgin sacrifices.
>>37292238"Oh hey Cromina!">Waves>doesn't notice that he is missing a hand
>>37292156>>37292216>>37292183https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqjyBxv6O8U>Exchanges some teeth for four sticky pseudopods>Slaps Noone's Evil Hand>Flings it at Dread Dentist>Slithers past Xanathos, uses tentacle to trip>Slingshots self onto table>Defiant Growl
>>37292238That would be my fault, you see, I had to make some adjustments and... THAT time is next year.Please don't tell them anything yet. They need to learn that by themselves. Also you now have a kitten pet. Don't ask me how it happened. You'll know when you see it.
>>37292266I'll just fool around and watch the grandmaster outplaying everyone, then arguing half an hour with Soros until you start flinging spells at each other. Just like the other time!
>>37292320Oh dear. Its entered the card game. Its going to die horribly now.
>>37292319Hand comes back.>>37292320>Throws a small bright bauble into the sackI know you want it, now jump in.
>>37292238It is time once more. >>37292276I resent the implications of that.>>37292355I'm dealing this time. You missed daveth the bowyer being summoned in on a tiger made of lightning.
>>37292234I bet, good job.>>37292238Oh well, it's fun anyways.>>37292266Just as planned.>>37292320Umm look down you just triggered explosive immolation.>>37292364Don't cast from hp.>>37292355He's dealing.
>>37292372>Plots
Can I make any words out of these tiles?>XLZKKTX
Too too roo everyone
>>37292320My god, he's a prodigy! He's activated the remaining facedown card on the table! >Endless Infernum: all players hands are destroyed, bypassing all resistances.>>37292435>An elder god sneezes somewhere far away
>>37292398*walks in a square around the table three times while chanting*ALSG MATGH UTASD JFAO MAHUF JFASL KJAFA THAR AEHN MADFA JEAL OTHAE NEATR
>>37292319EHW, gross. But I guess you deserved it. Well, a bit at least.>>37292282Oh, you are soooo bad at this.>>37292382NO! FUCK. FUCK THAT. I fucking LOVE Daveth! seriously? fuck if I knew it was Mage Guild Night I'd have said screw that to fryia IRL and have the D&D session made shorter
>>37292412>asl*>I hope you enjoyed your stay, I only gave you the light treatment. >>37292435You shouldn't. You can but you shouldn't.
>>37292282>frownsWell played, but you will lose that troll when my tower falls on itI reanimate your troll... >smirksand then I reanimate the table.>>37292310Hmm... yes I can see why that would be an improvement, lack of good corpses does mean corpse recycling would benefit the apprentices more than virgin sacrifices. Besides, the virgin sacrifice class usually ends with half the class trying to sacrifice the other.
Rolled 14, 15 = 29 (2d20)>>37292372>Fires "tongue" from toothy maw, snatching the bauble from the bag>Flings it away>>37292364>Barks>>37292398>>37292451>Just as planned?>the explosion launches Darwin straight towards Noone's Evil Hand>Rolls to RIP AND TEAR
>>37292455Understandable, He Who Sells the world is quite magnificent.Tell her to get her ass in here! Also, did she draw anything else?
>>37292492> blocks the attack with Noone's face
>>37292492>Ripping and tearing occurs. Evil Hand's hymen is broken, and will never marry as an honest woman.
>>37292492>RIPS.>TEARS.captcha: ttear
>>37292454Well this outta be good.>>37292455Last minute thing!>>37292492*smirks*>>37292489Well played.
>>37292492>>37292537"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH">This inconsiderate bastard gets blood all over the curtains
>>37292489Oh no! Now I'm trolless!>>37292472What if I arrange them so they say...>"Quickly nightmare>slay the waking>talons digging>sanity breaking"Triple Word Score, bitches!Oh, and a monster is emerging from under the table.
>>37292494Ziggy Starspawn is kind my favorite one who knows? I saw her drawing something like some gobbo waifu before the session, shit got strange taste. What about the deleting threads thing?
>>37292266Oh great, BEERS for everyone! >>37292492Except for you Darwin, you're a bad boy. Only dilluted mead for you.>>37292524And something without alcohol for you. >>37292534How could you hand? You dissapoint me.>>37292563That's not the... umm... you know what? never mind. Yes, that's the bad word, bad teacher, bad...
>>37292563>XLZKKTX EMERGES AND OPENS ONE OF ITS SIX THOUSAND SLAVERING MAWS. IT TAKES A DEEP BREATH IN AND BEGINS TO SING:TIME TO LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIIIIIIIIIIIIND
>>37292563No, I'm Troll Lass.
>>37292621Well... shit.
>>37292544>An eye swivels 180 to make eye contact with Soros>It narrows in suspicion>>37292524>>37292561>NO!>Not to eat Freinds!>Try and wipe face blood off >concerned mimic eyes
>>37292454*finishes walking around the table and raises his hands over his head*>>37292563>>37292489>>37292621Malak's Black Square! For every undead, reanimated, or summoned creature in play, I get 50 gold, 2 colorless mana, and a sandwich!
>>37292621Oh hey. Tentacles!
>>37292621Ehy! I was promised Daveth the Bowyer, not a singing Elder One!
What's tonight's topic everyone?
>>37292561 (You)>>37292537>>37292472>Detaches from Noone's arms and skitters away
I need to retire now, I'll see you next reality to the left. If you survive.Which is unlikely.
>>37292595Keep the threads confined to saturday, we seem to be okay so far.>XLZKKTX, true to his world, ascends to a higher realm. Well. That was new,
>>37292310I'm currently studying Practical Application of Magic, but I have this note here that I'm to report to>squints"The department of Necromancy upon your unfortunate but inevitable demise" Any idea what that's about?
>>37292666Wizards poker night, ask Pierre to deal you in.
>>37292666Well, it was apparently supposed to be something about the coastal wizard's new book on mastering reality. But then poker night happened.
>>37292563Well...hrm. What if I...no, maybe this...no, too risky. I guess I'll play scorched earth and follow up with rezzing Wall of Ice. your move.
>>37292653Wait, but I summoned the highest level monster, so it says I have to make the sandwich.This game sucks.
>>37292689Oh, yeah. Students have a really high turnover rate in every department, but we need a lot of corpses to keep the Necromancy students actually learning things.Win-win.
>>37292656DON'T! Geez aren't you the creepy one out here.>>37292685 what the fuck- at least now I don't have to worry about missing a meeting.
>>37292723"But don't you have a +10 bonus to making sandwiches?"
>>37292621>Awakens with a startI SMELL ELDRITCH ABOMINATION>Sees XLZKKTXWHAT THE HELL HAPPENED>>37292647Oh by the low Gods! DARWIN! >Darwin, headless of the reprimand, skitters over on toothy limbs>Hops on his perch >Whats this stuck to his pseudopod?>He has...a card?
>>37292621Hello *infernal downpour*>>37292647*continues smirking*>>37292685Yup I imbue Ascalon.>>37292745You're one to talk tentacle breaker.
>>37292621Ugh that thing is insulting to my wonderfull eyes! *Red Dragon's breath*
>>37292756I don't like to talk about it!Be right back... with Lord James' sandwich.
>>37292621>sighsIt's going to be one of those games isn't it.>>37292653Well then you are going to love my next move, I play undead army.
>>37292775What's this? NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT CARD
>>37292804All in good fun Lazarus.>>37292809Why are you scared?>>37292775*see card and starts laughing like a maniac*
>>37292848>Joins in with the laughing
>>37292804I feel sorry for vex. Its gonna take a while to make that many sandwiches.
>>37292698No thank you, I prefer to watch games.
>>37292738I see... well anything I can do for you while I'm here anyway?
>>37292781What are you on again, soros? You tried to swallow me whole that one time, do you have a vore fetish perhaps? Mph. Just because I am inclined toward kinkiness- ok, so inclined I am practically horizontal, whatever- it doesn't mean anyone is allowed to have strange relationships with elder gods.
>>37292781>Darwin eyes Soros further>>37292621>Reads cardHuh. That's neat. Come on Darwin, LETS DO THIS!>Darwin wraps about the metal arm, morphing into a copper dragonborn arm again.>Dramorn pumps his arm>Out pops the card CannonI PLAY "DESTROY"
>>37292867Here's your sandwich... My Lord. Wait, I have to make more!? And what happened to all my mana and dubloons!?
>>37292925 Damn. Now i'm hungry. And I don't have anything to make.
>>37292925"I ate them..."
>>37292862*Punches*>>37292904Oh do be quiet it isn't consensual.>>37292908*alloys it with creation Herald, Sea of chaos unbound, and Chains of Creation, to summon World Eater in attack.* Check.
>>37292908YOU MANIAC!>Destroy erases all cards in play from existence. Xanthos' hand activates and summons The Pale One, Harbinger of Ten Thousand Years of Funk
>>37292975 >>37292925Soros summoned the most powerful creature now. He has to finish making the sandwiches.
>>37292908Well, so much for my undead army.>looks over his handI play re-resurrection ritual in preparation
>>37292908>Fires card cannon>A single card is flung forth towards the singing monstrosity>"Destroy" hits the elder thingSee you in the Abyss, Motherfu->A sucking, swirling black hole expands from its center of mass, dragging it in, ripping it apart.
>>37292895Not at the moment, no.But I would strongly advise not dying while in sight of anyone involved in the Necromancy department. They'll almost certainly try to steal your corpse without reimbursing whoever was in charge of you at the moment.
>>37292925How does it feels, being someone's slave, Vex? Feel the shame of having to do everything you are ordered to!>>37292975Whatever. Look t her Soros! Vex made me do horrible things after that time with the drunk fight and stuff! I was so scared, it has been an horrible week!
>>37292975A HEEE HEEE HEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAHA HE HEE
>>37292975>Pained groan"Wwww-why soro?">>37292925>>37292965"And In my defence the box clearly states to Keep out of the reach and small children and Noone. and they where delicious." >Coughs up blood"I regret nothing."
>>37293030Is that you He-man?
>>37292925Scorched earth caused a flatline, sending you to level 1 and the rest of the table filched your stuff.>>37292999oh HELLS no. We killed that fiend years ago, and I'll do it again if I have to!
>>37292975>>37292999>>37293005>>37293030*The Grand Combination dispels all effects*
>>37292999Can I join in or is the game almost over?CAPTCHA: mead - I want some now [/spoiler
>>37293057>Gets flash backs
>>37293017Thank you sir, I'll try to keep that in mind. If that is all I think I'm going to take a look at the pyromancy demonstration, I know another apprentice in that class who is two days fro graduation.
>>37293026Your nametag doesn't say Squire on it, Cromina. I'm disappointed in you.
>>37293057...HEE HEE>>37293068HA HA HEEEEEEE>pelvic thrusts>>37293069A HEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee>Explodes.
>>37293043>Rushes towards his friendAre you okay? Where are your hands?I hope Darwin didn't hurt you too badly!
>>37293106What happens when I take explosion damage without any cash or mana?
>>37293090Vex, you can stop making sandwiches, Soros one upped you summon and it is his job now.
>>37293004*points to 7 trays of sandwiches on the table*>>37293026Sorry>>37293030This oughta be good attack.>>37293043Sorry needed to do taht to summon.>>37293106>>37293069Well then. Tabula raasa?
Here your coffee everyone
>>37293074>looks at Noone and gets an idea>pulls a white sleeping creature from under the table and throws it at NooneI play transformation on Noone.
>>37293126Out of the game, and you have to wear the dreaded SHAME CONE.>>37293057I thought that was noone?
>>37293140Thank you, Mortimer!>pecks you on the cheek
>>37293145 do me a favor and roll me a straight d20 and what you want to happen
>>37293140 Mortimer! Good to see you! Can you get me some healing poultices? Noone is dying!
>>37293158Conspiere can you deal me in? I'd like to play too.
>>37293193Draw, place your bids, and prepare for various phenomena.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>37293174I'm throwing the sleeping Quin at you in an attempt to turn you back into He-man
>>37293158Oh, that's good. I was worried this was going to be one of those human games where I'd have to be clothing.>>37293129But I've already made so many!
>>37293106Not the weirdest thing I've seen around here but definitely top ten.>>37293134Sorry? SORRY? It this all you have to say? Aren't you going to cheer me up and beat Vex on her meanie meanie-head with some random chaotic spell?>>37293090Shut up! You are ordering me around no more!>>37293140Mooooort! Cheer me up, mort!
>>37293165*slightly blushes* Thank you>>37293186I doubt it. I Punched his stomach out and he was fine
>>37293186>>37293215"I fee- Bloody cough -feel fine">Is transformed into HE-Noone!
>>37293134Thank you very much. *takes the sandwiches*>>37293140Thank you as well, Mortimer. *takes the coffee*Now, I play [Lesser armchair]. *A Large red armchair appears in place of James' normal chair*Take this! Comfortable Evening Snack Combo!
>>37293224Fine>>37293208I'm out thanks for having me.>>37293165Wanna duel in the training grounds?
>>37293208*places some gold duplones as bid and draws*Is that enough as bid?
>>37293224You are a beautiful woman who I would ask out on a real date, only being stopped because of how imitatingly beautiful you are
>>37293231Gods damnit, I thought I'd heard enough of the HEE for one night!>>37293224Certainly a strange fellow.
>>37293174>>37293215Hey! No throwing department heads in the war room!...at least, I think this is the war room. if not I'm going to feel so silly.
>>37293288I'd be happy to give the Eldritch Squire another spanking.
>>37293231NOOOO!!>>37293229Never mind that now, I need a Chimp's head soaked in soap and a torch!
>>37293145>>37293215>>37293231>keeps sleeping but activates Noone's transformation in his sleep
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>37293266*Eats a bite of sandwich while relaxing in his armchair*
>>37293312No i meant against me little one.>>37293322Adorable little troublemaker ain't she?
>>37293312>Blushes>>37293293>WhispersYou know she's a dude in spirit, right?
>>37293343Like a friendly duel? Or are you mad at me about something?
>Does a sexy dance draining everyone of 5 gold each turn.>Sings that annoying song, take san damage, no save.>Lazarus gets all gold and sanity
Rolled 83 + 48 (1d100 + 48)>>37293324*finishes his sandwich and takes a sip of coffee*
>>37293293Careful, I might tear up and be smug.>>37293288Soros withdraws, removing the lunar arse and the sea of chaos. The World Eater goes back to crying about how his sempai will never notice him.>>37293350Shhhhhhh. Don't ruin the moment.>>37293324Blissful relaxation is triggered! +10 to chilling effects!>>37293310War room, main hall, game room, whatever you want to call it. Killjoy.
>>37293140Excellent, thank you Mortimer.>>37293310There is no rule against it! Despite that one time when the Head of Muscle Wizardry threw all the gathered department heads to settle an argument.
>>37293366>Tackles WHERES MY SOAPY MONKEY HEAD
>>37293293See?>>37293288 You could definetely learn something from mort. Hey mort, listen to this, I am bored with being a redhead. Any suggestion?>>37293312Again? How many time are you gonn-oh. THAT kind of spanking. Sorry.
>>37293366San damage? Does that affect the dealer? Someone get the rulebook.
>>37293363It won't be lethal, and besides you I've dueled all the head witches in the guild at least once.>>37293391World eater can get bent Pierre.>>37293413I'm trying Cromina shut up ans sit down.
>>37293316Why?>>37293350doesn't really matter to me>>37293391Do you want to be hit in the balls?>>37293413Try Orange hair?
>>37293435Okay. But I'm not good with divination. How would you like to battle?
Hmm I think I know what to do...>Dragon Hoard, for every piece of gold I own creature of the dragon type get more power. However you gain Adventurer Tokens every turnI combo this with young red dragon. Due to the power up of the hoard he is evolved into Ancient Greater Wyrm, Draconis the Red!
>>37293439>Struggles with Hee-ManLess why and more Chimp head! Soaked in soap!NOW!
>>37293435Soros please, if you took an interest in the abomination residing between your asscheeks you'd know that you aren't his sempai.>>37293439No, but I know when a good time for a noble sacrifice is. And so I shall smug. Not because I wish to, but because no one else can.>>37293452Guess what I'm thinking.
>>37293366>looks incredibly smug>>37293423I think it does, unless we are playing by Beholder rules. Are we playing by Beholder rules?
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>37293495Nope. Well then. Let's see how weird this is going to get.
>>37293452Training room, all spell are fair game. *activates Spelleye*>>37293485He can still get bent, I hate the fuck.
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>37293484Here.>>37293485Ballshot it is then>ballshot
>>37293366*James' comfort aura blocks the san damage and protects his gold*>>37293381Okay, now the most uncomfortable player at the table has to give me 131 gold in exchange for one of my sandwiches. Who is least comfortable right now?
Hey guys, where will the ghost thread be, so we can determine which guild will be next
>>37293439Ehw, orange? I don't really- I was thinking about something, well. Classic. More serious, if I am going to die in a couple of years what do you think Asmodeus would think of a lass with orange hair? " Oh hey, this lass got some pretty sweet hair, I want her to become my new lieutenant?" What about black?
>>37293485That the local government is putting plague in the water to make the serfs more easily manipulated while also poisoning their blood for the inevitable vampire crisis?
>>37293484Really? that's a stupid name.>>37293521>dances into the aura because conflict
>>37293531That could work
>>37293519https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go>Slowly falls over, a single tear falling from one eye.
>>37293518Alright, I'm going to bewitch the hell out of you (1d666). Want to do a best 2 out of 3 deal?
>>37293545*HEE-MAN is lit on fire by the excessive amount of comfort.*
>>37293519Excellent! >>37293366>Holds the soapy chimpanzee head before him>Casts a spell of flames on it>The flames pass through the head and turn to bubblesI cast you back into the darkness Stealer of Children! Begone Pale One! Your reign is long over! Be GONE!
>>37293568That had to hurt. Alrighty then, lets get you do the infirmary
>>37293531Die in a couple of years!? What ever from?
>>37293580Sure But fair warning enchantments will go awry on me. Duels are usually multipart affairs.
>>37293463>Is summoned, but alseep in a pile of coins snoring loudly and exhaling fire from his nostrils
>>37293620>whisperingEven in pain....I still smug.....
>>37293523Seriously guys, I'd like to know
>>37293562I could either try and do this by myself or let pierre do it. >>37293568Am i going to look like bob ross if I let you dye my hair?
>>37293625And when I beat you, your cute little apprentice becomes mine!
>>37293632Do I need to castrate you?>>37293638No clue on that one
>>37293636https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/%20when/if%20404
>>37293638I promise nothing. >>37293648Have some respect for the rules and WEAR YOUR SHAME CONE
>>37293583NEW EEFECTS!>HEAT: +10 to comfyness>WARM GLOW: +30 cozeness>BACON?: You smell bacon, you want bacon.>>37293613"STEAK FOR DAYZ!"
>>37293664Have you ever had someone threaten to forcefully insert the severed testicles of 45 clones of themself into each your orifices?
>>37293686Coffee?
>>37293648If that's the case you'll have to run around naked for 3 days WHEN i win.
>>37293630Daaaaad, wake up, I summoned you in a match of Wizard Poker. >Draconis is still sleepingDAAAAAAD, you are embaressing me in front of the others.
>>37293712Have you ever have some one threaten you with their pet vraal and pet tarrasque/dragon hybrid?
>>37293712Actually, several of my students have threatened to do that to me when I gave them their (Failing) grades.Of course, when they actually try it they usually end up with one or two clones and they bicker with each other until I turn them all into corpses for the next class to use.
>>37293717>.......Offer the superpowered Noone coffee? [Y/N]
>>37293757Several times now. Which is why I've been feeding him treats and scratching his belly.
>>37293686>Jumps off arm>Morphs into the classic "Chest mimic">Slams Into the Pale One>Morphs back into amorphous mimic>begins to eat through the Pale One's chest
>>37293778Yes.. wait. I forgot to put the dolleye in. its this small berry that goes great with the coffee>>37293797You know, my sister needs some one for her prom.
>>37293670Do your worst, Pierre.>>37293623Bargaining with Asmodeus. One should think more before making that kind of pacts. Long story short, my expected lifespan is a bit shorter than how I'd like it to be. About it, >>37293718 Soros, take a look at his, please. I woke up three days ago with an hole in my back. And it is not like an hole in my skin, it is, well, pitch black from what I can see. Any clue on this one?>starts undressing in the middle of the hall
>>37293718Grr... deal. It'll be worth the risk to have your little student as my class pet. (I honestly forgot his name. Is his player on right now? I'm keeping it vague so if he's not cool with it I can make up a new apprentice for you)>>37293670Fine!
>>37293746*snickers*>>37293630<Thunderclap>>>37293797Smart.>>37293802You're very active for a mimic.
And, I am on the reality to the left. Are we dead? No? Dammit.>>37293717I'll take one please.Ah BTW, I will owe you a cheesewheel a few days from now, have at it>Extracts creamy, delicious, axiomatic cheesewheel from robes.Let no man said I left my debts unpayed for more than -3 days.
>>37293686*James takes out a pipe and lights it with the flaming HEE MAN, adding a comfort of +20*10 more comfort, and I get {Insta win} triggered. your move guys. about time we finish the game I think.
>>37293774Wait really? Huh. I need a new dire threat then.>>37293828Do you mean that literally? Because I can take a critical failure on any spell I cast.>>37293826Wait really? I thought Jake'ness kidnapped her?
>>37293830Ok then to the training ground. Haven't seen Marcus on yet, so sound good.
>>37293828I maybe should say this, but Asmodeus will be transforming into a greater asura sometime around 8 o' clock. Therefore, he won't be able to collect your debt or redeem you from that curse. But at least it won't grow anymore!
Rolled 333 (1d666)>>37293882>at training groundsTake this! Bow before your better!
>>37293831Carnifex and the Owlbear Biomancer cooked him up for me, I'm not quite sure if he's even a true mimic anymore.
>>37293869We got her back. it cost me most of my blood but it was worth it.
okay, even I can't figure out what's going on anymore.I'm just gonna go back to working on these artefacts. I should have this one finished in a couple days, but I'll need to try it myself to make sure it's working properly.I really hope this won't be a huge mistake.
>>37293898Go Vex!>>37293802Go Darwin!
>>37293906Oh. Good for her then. >>37293830Hah! Stew in suffering and shame! Look at her! Look at her and laugh!
>>37293838>inspects the current state of the game and frownsIn that case I play undead body double in order to leave the table with my current winnings without risking the SHAME CONE.
>>37293920You jinxed it
>>37293920I was just making sure nobody cheated. And napping. Mostly napping.
Rolled 60560 (1d100000)>>37293898*yawns and deflects* <Shard Storm>>>37293901Interesting
>>37293898C'mon Soros, kick her ass!Not, uh, not literally, though, because last time we met I got the impression she was into that kind of stuff.
>>37293831THAT'S NOT FUNNY!><Thunderclap>*Draconis awakes confused* "WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY! ADVENTURERS IN MY LOOT?!"*He roars loudly and sets the field on fire*
>>37293869Sure, why not? Got time to kill. Well, figuratively. Ok, not even that, but who cares? Show me what you got!>>37293890How can I believe you, guy? Seriously, a paradoxmancer? In how many versions of the future that thing is NOT going to happen?
>>37293939So will you go?>>37293964Coffee?
>>37293964Mage's guild Chill out.>>37293962We'll see.
Rolled 22 (1d666)>>37293960Ouch! You filthy scoundrel! Try this one!
>>37293920Let's be honest here. It probably is. I mean, I thought murdering my old mentor was a fantastic idea and everyone agreed with me. >>37293959You are terrible at Wizard Poker.>>37293964Aw come on Mr. Draconis, Can't Zirconis play?
>>37293830Fan tastic!>>37293826>Drinks coffee
>>37293962I am into no variety of kicking, thank you very much.
>>37293996Ouch..
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>37293996*throws a ball<Kinetic amplification*>
>>37294022Wait for it
>>37294007I believe I did a rather good job preventing anyone from cheating. There's only like one Rule anyway as I understand it.
>>37294043>waits for it
>>37293944*pulls out a book and reads a few pages, gaining 10 comfort and ending the game*And that is that. *takes his winnings from the table as the game, creatures, and various other things vanish*
>>37294037Ow! You dick!
>>37294022STAY DOWN!>>37294031What about spanking?
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>37293996>The shame cone reacts to your failure and flatulates loudly.>>37293984How likely am I to end up in the infirmary with a shattered pelvis?>>37293980Prepare yourself.>>37294050And you broke it!
>>37294058and you should falling to the ground in 3, 2, 1
>>37294070A necessary evil to keep naughty humans in their place.
>>37293984Zirconis: No I think I need something stronger now...*sighs*>>37293990Draconis: Ahhh Soros, it has been a long time...how did I end up here? >>37294007...my son summoned me in Wizard Poker huh?Zirconis: ...sorry father.nds
>>37294089>>37294062>>37294050Good game Everyone.
>>37294070Oh, yeah, right. Forgot, that is the weird shit she likes.>>37294107The paladins still want your head.
>>37294107>GrinsWhat about naughty witches?
>>37294089I thought the only rule was to take your Loss/Leave punishment like a Mage? This game is horribly overcomplicated.
>>37294065Care to continue?
>>37294089Fifty-fifty chance. though if it happens, avoid my father at all cost.>>37294114Here you go
>>37294070>>37294094>Transforms back to Noone>Falls unconsious>is still on fire
>>37294136Its only weird if you're not having fun
Rolled 39 (1d666)>>37294136Come on, they already burned down my house and lit me on fire at the stake. I say we're even.>>37294148blushes.>>37294152I have not yet begun to fight!
>>37294089Oh, hey, it worked! 10/10 pierre, I can always count on you. Except when you are hiding something. That is mots of the times. Whatever.
>>37294179Another victory for Mortimer!
>>37293949>>37294007Yeah, I know. But that just means I have to work a bit harder to make it work.I mean, I can tell I'm really close to figuring it out, I just have to assess exactly what doesn't work as intended so I know what to fix.>>37294149It really is. It's why I bowed out.
>>37294179>casts cone of cold to put Noone outIt's good to have you back! Lets go get you some hands, bud.
>>37293980None. You should know. There's a reason we in the biz call him Assmodeus, because his ass is too big to be tamed or confined to one single paradoxical space.Besides, The only reason why I'm the First paradoxmancer instead of the "Honorable head of paradoxmancy" is because 1.- there is no department except for ME, and 2.- It sounds like a sexual act between inexpert apprentice wizards.Which means, I have many iterations, and I have survived so far BECAUSE I'M A MASTER AT MY JOB! Thank you very much...>(Damned prick, I give him good news and look at how he... Nhow can I thrushth a pharadöxmnancer??... Bullshit. No, not even bullshit, Nullshit. Fahjsfksarls)
>>37294200>Slowly burns to death
>>37294132I am simply the best dealer.>>37294155Well, I'll be blunt here. I'll most likely ruin everything. However, an old acquaintance of mine you may know by the name of The Fantastic Gregor would most likely be willing. Would probably be a lot better for the poor girl's self esteem as well. Failing that, Daveth the Bowyer owes damn near everyone here a favor.>>37294149You played explosive runes!
>wakes upUuuuuh, that was a nightmare, I dreamed Noone transformed into a warrior again, complete with that song.
>>37294213>Is killed because you cast cone of cold on someone in the negatives>....Honestly, pat yourself on the back. +50 Karma
>>37294224see>>37294213>>37294189>GrinsIf you win, drinks are on me.
>>37294199*maximum blush* that's... a nice look>>37294224>Pours bucket of water on Noone>>37294245Ok then
>>37294155Thanks *drinks in one gulp*>as the game ended Draconis is desummoned the moment he wants to berate his son about the dangers of gambling*sigh* Perfect timing, I hope he forgets about this all before I return home.
>>37294189Really <Arcane lance>>>37294199Looking good Cromina.
>>37294245Thank you for dealing Pierre.
>>37294258>Falls to his kneesN-no. NO. NOOOO!!!!!Does anyone know any resurrection spells!? Please!!
Rolled 672 (1d1000)>>37294282
>>37294199You have no idea how much training in disguises I have. You look great by the way, now go get your man.>>37294265It's nothing personal, I just don't want to upset your entire family when I fail spectacularly.
>>37294245I didn't play anything. Someone else played it by proxy.
>>37294207Hey sam! Do you like my new hair dye? How's going with your "trying to tell the laws of physic to bend over" thing?>>37294215-suuuuuuuure. Why don't you sit here, then, and enjoy some of Mort's coffee?Ehm. There's any healer here? I think this man needs one. Badly.>>37294265Do you think it is? A bit more conservative than what I am used to, but I guess it works.
>>37294312Owowowow!>Magic lance impaling her straight through the torso.I've got moar fight in me!
>>37294224>>3729425Does anyone object if I take his corpse? I got a couple of projects he would be perfect for.>>37294308Well... I could reanimate him as an undead.
Rolled 44 (1d66)>>37294338Sorry, I was certain I typed it in right.
>>37294338Holy Fuck! Come on! You can pull through!And someone for the sake of the gods! Help Noone!!
Krogrr >is wearing headphones and reading a thick tomeBrogrr>>37294199>Wolf whistles
>>37294148>>37294189We're supposed to be mages, goddammit.If you're not using ghost noises to make a *bow chicka wah wah* track, you need to step your game up. Show some professional pride.
>>37294366>1d66Woops that would have been an nice roll otherwise
Rolled 359 (1d666)>>37294338>>37294366*Chains of punishment*
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>37294199That turned out pretty well. Nice work.>>37294308Hope this will be enough.[Lesser Revive]
>>37294258>Skitters from it's hole in the wall and heads for Noone
>>37294368>Gazes downward from the heavens
>>37294337It is a very nice look for you
>>37294345Touch his corpse and I will strike you down. I will not permit to see a friend made undead. Never again.
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>37294398>impaled>constricted>Wriggles a hand freeI can still beat you, Soros!
Rolled 627 (1d666)*Sigh*>I summon assmodeus to resurrect the elf...And keep >>37294412at bay.
>>37294419>but it's fucking Noone! who gives a shit?
>>37294419It's people like you who make it very hard to keep the Student Corpse Vault stocked properly.
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d6 + 4)>>37294443*Whacks her with the staff*
>>37294412>>37294405>Tears flowing down his scaley hideCome on Noone, pull through!Please Lord Stardust..help him...
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>37294327What are you implying? Look, we talked about it more than once. It just won't work, I mean. Love is something good people do. Living, good people. Evil, dead lass get no love whatsoever. So don't make me get started or->Ragnard the Gentleman's Wave of Fiery Hats>>37294412D-D-DAVETH?
>>37294405Nice try, now let me give it a go.>starts casting greater reanimation>>37294410No, bad hand, get away, that corpse is mine now.>>37294419>stops castingSpoilsport... well what do you suppose we do with him then? Do a proper resurrection?
>>37294454>>37294448There elf, you're back and I owe Asmodeus a worrying ammount of cookies, as our deal is completed.
>>37294448He is not yet done inflicting his failure upon this world! You shall not stay my hand!>>37294454BE GIVEN LIFE
>>37294448>>37294410>>37294412>>37294486>No..... NOOOOOOOO
>>37294405>>37294368>>37294486I didn't think that would work either, oh well.[The World will Hear and Obey: Shadow Override: Perfect Return.]
>>37294480Bleh!>slumps to the ground
>>37294532Oh my
>>37294532>giggles>>37294415Ahw, that's so kind of you.
>Noone raises from the dead. FUCK!
>>37294568I try.
>>37294516>You only paid my beers because I promised not to reveal your little secret, that doesn't mean I have to stand your shit Bowie!>You always cheated in rockstar school, and you're still cheating now! you were banished, now fade like a MAN!
>>37294455Its people like me that keep the nightmares away from those who can't deal with them.Now help him you peice of shi- >>37294516>>37294525>>37294448Well. Noone, welcome back. *Sniff* Looks like your'e going to be the centerpiece for a celestial war.
>>37294516DAVETH HAS SPOKEN! >falls on her knees>>37294590You try.. what? Being kind, perhaps? You are very good at that, you know.
>>37294532All right *cancels spell and heals* Wanna try again or do you concede?>>37294568You're welcome.
>>37294489My child, how far you have strayed from the path of Glam. I pity you.>>37294581Rise, and torment this world further! Improve upon yourself, and realize your destiny!
>>37294532Come on Vex, you can do it! Get back up!>Tries to help her up
>>37294618Thank you very much. And you say you are evil
>>37294619Vex never surrenders! You'll have to find some outlandishly impossible way to truly defeat me!
>>37294606*the shadow surrounding James dissipates and flows back to the floor as James rubs his head*I really cant do things like that to often, so try not to die to much.
>>37294650I wonder what would happen if someone tried zombifying you while you were still alive... SEEMS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR SCIENCE!
>>37294581>sighs and walks over to NooneHold on to this amulet in case you die again, it should help me bring you back "better" next time it happens.
>>37294606"There is no noone... Only Zuul...">Cough"Heeeeeeey buddy.">>37294624>Has no idea what you mean because he's a fucking idiot.
>>37294619Thank you, mr World Eater guy.>>37294624Wh-wh-what, no, no, my overlord daveth, I never- Please help me redeem myself! Tell how can I atone, for I wish to walk the path again!
>>37294693You can't zombify a witch, silly.
>>37294618>>37294708Pacts with the lord of the abyss? Have you begun dabbling in metal my child? Fear not, for I am a forgiving lord of the chord. I may release you from your pact, if you so choose. So long as you uphold the righteous path of glam.
>>37294619>>37294650"you heard the lady, Soros, hit her with a bucket of water!"
>>37294650Sometimes, it is best to know your limits Vex. *rubs his head* I doubt I could last more than a few rounds against him without activating my {Shadow Soul}.
>>37294650Your move then.>>37294708Don't make me duel you as well.>>37294746Just what i had in mind actually.>>37294650Ladies first.
>>37294746"Stupid messed up name tags."
>>37294733That's what they all say.Note to self, assign extra credit for the students to zombify a witch.
>>37294771No, I mean, it's a rule. It's even on my birth certificate. "Vex never surrenders".>>37294746>realizes she's not wearing fishnets of water-proofing todayWait, don't listen to him! He's just an apprentice!
>>37294743I'm curious, do you have the power?
>>37294798>Rips off his headphones"DID YOU JUST SAY EXTRA CREDIT?"
>>37294806That sounds like it must be a pain to hold to.I'm surprised you are still alive.
>>37294825What power?
Rolled 268 (1d666)>>37294783Perhaps I should even that turn order out, then?>throws temporary genderbending hex at you.
>>37294826Yeah, all you have to do is Zombify a witch, and bring me the Zombie Witch and a report explaining how you did it.There's one right over there to try it on, actually.
>>37294849The power of voodoo.
>>37294849"The power of the force!"
>>37294743But my lord! I will lose my powers if I sever the bonds with the Nine Hells! How can I keep them while following your steps? Should I put my faith in the prog as you did with R'hobert the Fripp and the elder god of the Bra'an Ino?
>>37294806Kick their asses! Yu Can Doo Et!>>37294673Who? Me?>Laughs No worries friend, I'm bullet proof!
>>37294871Who Do?
>>37294877Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Noone. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find the rebels' hidden fortress.
Rolled 39 (1d1000)>>37294850I have form lock up, need to be stronger than that to do anything to me.<Deluge>
>>37294871Who do?>>37294897My child, you have said it yourself. Sever the pact, and you shall know the favor and cosmic might of glam once more!
>>37294898That try not to die to much thing goes for more or less anyone.
>>37294909Not you.>>37294934You do. Don't you?
>>37294868"Oh sir, I would never try to practice magic on staff members. but don't worry sir, I'll find another witch!"
>>37294928I find your lack of faith disturbing, witch.>>37294956You too mate!
>>37294934But I can't- and yet I must! and where the fuck did I put my CD's, I want to listen to his music dang it.
Rolled 546 (1d666)>>37294982Save the choking for later.>>37294930The table has been flooped! Your powers fail you, diviner!
so who is going to the ghost thread?
>>37295033>GROANS
>>37295042I already have it open in another tab
>>37295042I'll be there once this expires
>>37295033That poor table.
>>37294970Good luck, I'll be looking forward to inspecting your work once you return.
>>37295033>Smiles Ha! Most definitely.
>>37294964Do what? Remind you of the babe? >>37295018I will not require your life, and as a champion of glam and prog, you shall have the power to reshape the very collective soul of humanity!
Rolled 587 (1d1000)>>37295033*throws a sphere of Annhilation*
>>37295042dunno if I will, maybe when this expires
>>37295042 Me, my brother, and Noone for sure!
>>37295042i will
>>37295060>>37295063Meet you guys in the archives for drinks after all this?
>>37295042I Might
>>37295080Are we doing this by percentage or by pure number?
>>37295107But of course
Oh gods damn it, I thought we were still having temporal disturbances so I didn't bother coming to the meeting since I thought it would get lost in time again.What did I miss?
>>37295079My lord! I will do as you say! From now on I'll be questing for a way to get rid of my infernal bonds and walk the path of the gods once again!>>37295042 should this expire, I will
>>37295107Well, naturally.
>>37295042I might hang around for a bit longer. Oh and while I'm spoilering anyway, I finally took a look at the page on 1d4chan, I'm both surprised to see Quin is on the page and that Lazarus isn't.
>>37295073"Of course sir! come on brother, we need to find a witch!""Fuck you man, I wanna see Vex all wet."
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/Reposting for those that don't know how to get there.
>>37295138Cromina made a deal with Daveth the Bowyer, we had poker night, and we're going to party it up in the archives after this. You haven't missed it yet.
>>37295117Pure number Soros stands up to deities on a monthly basis. You're actually making him work for it. i figure the sphere ate your magic but missed you.>>37295138Wizard's poker and me dueling vex.
>>37295150 just write your own piece yourself, res.
>>37295138Everything apparently. Nice to meat you Lupa, don't think we've met.
>>37295142It pleases me to hear you say that my child. Farewell, for I must ascend beyond this earthly plane once more!
Rolled 554 (1d666)>>37295168Works for meZap!
>>37295138We played some Wizards poker, I finally won a game. Probably mostly because Pierre was dealing and Soros stopped playing.Also Vex is trying to duel Soros for some reason.
>>37295159Don't worry Brogrr, there will be pictures for you when you return.>>37295173I just might do that.
>>37295159Easy there lads, I think that's a little too much woman for you.She needs a little more man than that...>grumbles to himself..a lot of dragon man that is..a whole lot..
>>37295219He challenged me out of the blue, actually. Probably because I'm awesome.
>>37295197>sheds a single tear watching him ascendtruly he is the mightest of us all. All we can be heroes but only Daveth can be so glam at that.
>>37295168I missed Poker night again!? Son of a whore!>>37295166I don't know, the archives are a moldy and damp place that I prefer not to stay in for too long...>>37295175Well, it is possible we have met before, but I certainly don't remember.
>>37295079With that hair, kind of?Mostly I just want to learn how to be that glam.
Rolled 38260797 (1d100000000)>>37295207ENOUGH OF THIS <NOVA BLAST> *is visibly frustrated*
>>37295197Goodbye Bowyer. You will be missed... Until someone else summons you, that is.
>>37295236Pretty sure Fryia started it, I filled in a few entries. Fuck me if I can remember all of you though.
>>37295264>dies
Brogrr:>>37295236"If I wanted pictures I'd just do to witches gone wild.">>37295251"yeah well, that's just like your opinion man."Krogrr:"Honestly brother I don't get this perversion you have with single headed women."
>>37295304*Rips open the pocket dimension she hid in and drags her out* I think i win now, don't i?
>>37295329Where was I and how did I get out of it?
>>37295258Indeed. I dream that my charisma will ever be a fraction as magnificent as his.>>37295259I am almost certain we have not. I am Dramorn Oakenheart, my left arm is Darwin, say hi Darwin>An eye manifests on the bicep, blinks, then blends back in
>>37295362>>An eye manifests on the bicep, blinks, then blends back inEHW EHW EHWehw. Groooooss.
>>37295259Just because it's haunted doesn't mean its that bad. You aren't afraid of ghosts are you?
>>37295348When someone "dies" in the training area the are teleported to a pocket dimension for safety. I threw a very small star at you.>>37295383His arm is a mimic, an you are getting more girly by the second.
>>37295325You guys an ettin or something? I've never understood really, no offence intended.>>37295383You leave my poor arm mimic alone, besides, I like to surprise people when he detached and they see my warforged arm
>>37295402I'd say the glam is overtaking her. I wonder if it is a good pain.
>>37295362hm... Interesting... How did you get such an arm?>>37295387W-w-what?! C-certainly not. W-what would make you think something so outrageous?
>>37295402This sucks! I can't make stars, but I can't admit defeat!
>>37295402>>37295422Hey, I think shes improving! More likeable by the second. And much less stuck up!
>>37295431Is this about the ghost of wizardmas past haunting you around the holidays?
>>37295434Just admit defear, weakling. You honestly couldn't kill any of the female mages here if you tried.
>>37295422I guess, thought she was tougher than that.Also yes she is terrified of them.>>37295431Liar.>>37295434I won 2 out of 3 you know the rules. I invoke my winners clause right now.>>37295459Just don't jump her bones.>>37295480Hey she made me work for it in round 2.
>>37295480Let's be fair here, she gave Soros a hard time. And survived the guild hall relocating on top of her.
>>37295434I think it's time you make a "strategic withdrawal".>>37295431The original kept enslaved to someone. So I removed it. When a warforged agent came to reclaim me, I took his in its stead.I got lil Darwin here from Carnifex the Fleshwarper and Manus, The Master Biomancer.
>>37295434There is a saying among necromancers "It's not technically admitting defeat if you die and come back from the dead". While death in the training area isn't a true death I think you can use our saying as a loophole if you wish.
>>37295480That's kind of specific. Are you implying I could kill the male mages?
>>37295500Definitely not my type.
>>37295421Brogrr speaks first "You know like how an Ogre is like a lesser giant? well an Ettin is like a Lesser us."Krogrr then says "No you idiot, that's not what it is at all it's [5 metric fuck tons of bullshit] And that is what we are."
>>37295475I hate that guy too. Always bringing up all of the corpses of the innocents I killed, yadda yadda. Bigger prick than Fryia.
>>37295525You try it and so help me I will glue that cone to your head and cast a permanent illusion of humanity on you.
>>37295525>Grins and chucklesI would honestly like to see you try. I'm not trying to be ruse, I'm just curious .
>>37295475...N-no...>>37295500I-I AM NOT A LIAR!>>37295510ah, I thought I recognized Carnifex's work. that's why it's so lack-luster.>>37295525Well, the males here ARE kind of weak...
>>37295525Please don't try it.>>37295524We also have another saying "Why fight fair when I can fight from halfway across the continent via army?"
>>37295500Oh, right, I forgot we actually decided on a round limit.Whoops, yeah. By the rules, you win.Oh no! Wait, I mean... I don't want to go three days without clothes!
>>37295561...Hello, crom. Who's a prick?>>37295573>Well, the males here ARE kind of weak...Compared to us everyone is, dear lupa...
>>37295588>>37295572>>37295564I'm not planning on trying!
The Glam-god left already? Crap. Guess it's time to go off and have a smoke. I have some pipe-weed to spare if anyone has a match.
>>37295597<Instant Stadium cheer>"WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TAKE IT OFF!"
>>37295525Even though it wouldn't really affect me, I'd rather you not try it. Pretty sure I'm not able to do much resurrection stuff.>>37295561Fryia's not a prick! She just...I dunno, she gets a bit high-strung at times, is all. I'm hoping I can at least get her to reconsider her stance on my magical girl research...>>37295588I like that saying.
>>37295573NEXT PERSON THAT COMES AT DARWIN IS GETTING PUNCHED.Besides, I would like to see you do better than the Master Biomancer!>Well, the males here ARE kind of weak...What in the nine hells are you saying? I'm the strongest one here!
>>37295573You're an alchemist, brew up some holy water and molotov his ass back into the afterlife!>>37295597Technically the SHAME CONE is clothing.>>37295626Aw, you missed poker night. And Daveth the Bowyer descending from the heavens.
>>37295626Oh FUCK. Worst timing ever.
>>37295573>>37295626Oh c'mon you two, quit with the elitism. Afterall males are better. Lemme show you!Lemme show yelemme...>>37294253You're male right?
>>37295554Ok then>>37295525I will kill you for real if you try.>>37295573SURE YOU"RE NOT! *shit eating grin*Ever since we were young you've been piss terrified of them.>>37295597No Illusions or spells to cover you either, Environmental sustainment spells are alright though.>>37295626I recall beating you in a duel twice Fryja.
>>37295678Well, I wouldn't have to wear it when we go to the archives, anyway.>>37295659What? here? now!?
>>37295597Perhaps you could stay at home?
>>37295525You might be able to fight me normally, but if I use my {Shadow Soul}, it would probably turn out about as well as it did for you against Soros.
>>37295475Hah, I remember that guy. He was pretty nice to have around despite his morality preachings. He stopped coming by after I started to test spells on him though.>>37295588Yes, that a personal favourite.
>>37295670You should arm wrestle Lupa.>>37295707It will still be there, ever reminding you of the eldritch stank of defeat.
>>37295707"YES!"
>>37295707You can take your clothes off later>Winks and LaughsWho's ready to party in the archives?
>>37295743She might loose her arm.
>>37295666Thanks for the word you said which I choose to consider as a compliment rather than an offense.>>37295678Daveth the Bowyer? This is rich, I would have liked too see it. Let me guess, crom went into some weird religious fervor upon seeing him.>>37295694Just shut up already, Soros. >>37295691 crom is bad at D&D
>>37295597Oh, don't be a baby and just do it already. I had to be naked for a full year because I lost a bet, and you didn't hear me complain about it.>>37295670Pfffffffft... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's a funny joke.>>37295678B-but the church and gods won't let me make Holy Water after the incident...>>37295694I HAVE NOT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?>>37295692Well I'm looking at you right now, and I'm most certainly am not impressed.
>>37295795
>>37295798I can bench press a giant, what can you do?
>>37295796She is apparently undertaking a quest to renounce the metal of Asmodeus and take up the righteous path of glam. I don't pretend to understand.>>37295798I can show you how to scribe a circle of protection if you need it. Not going to lie though, wasn't expecting this.
We archiving this thread, by the way?
>>37295831>>37295798YOU WANNA FUKKEN GO THERE LASS?!
>>37295833That's child play, ever tried to bench press a giant USING ANOTHER GIANT?>>37295796 And you are bad at GMing, goblin-fucker.
>>37295692No dice, I haven't been male for over a century... and actually I'm not sure if my current body has a gender. But for convenience sake I think I'm currently refereed to as as female as that's what I was before this latest transformation.Try Soros or Lazarus, they are male.
>>37295798Hey! Im the best of my kind on this guild!>whisper:totally unrelated to being the only enchanter around, but hey fine you know.
>>37295749>>37295798Dammit... okay... Just stop looking at me like that!
>>37295871Yes. I don't have the best sense of balance, so I usually end up with a giant falling on my face.
>>37295865I would assume so. Who got the last few?>>37295871>>37295870>>37295831I'm not running a battle of the sexes game.>>37295871Rekt
>>37295897<Fog cloud>
>>37295796Make me. *stick out tongue playfully*>>37295798Observation, and they fact i used to pull a lot of pranks on you using them.>>37295897All of it rules bind you.>>37295871You're welcome.
>>37295833Well, I have beaten quite a few rock giants bare-handed. Though I did ruin my nails. Took me forever to replace those.>>37295870Pft, anytime, little boy.>>37295939THAT WAS YOU!? WHY YOU CHEEKY BITCH, I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THAT!
>>37295859... this is so... so Cromina of her. Who would have guessed.>>37295877>I haven't been male for over a centuryIs there something you'd like to tell me, sweetie?>>37295939How dare you, I have a woman and I'm not cheating on her.
>>37295897>Shifts uncomfortably You should have told me you were going to lose, I wouldn't have worn half-plate
>>37295897....Well then. Might want to steer clear of Lupa. She steals skin.>>37295970Well, it will probably make her live longer.
>>37295897On the bright side, You only have to run around naked, Not walk!
>>37295961>Fumes silentlyI'm better than this, I'm better than this, I'm better than this...
>>37295796...High-strung?Actually, now that I think about it it could have sounded a lot worse.I have some research literature about what I've been working on - you've been here a lot longer than I have, so I was hoping maybe you could explain why the thesis got rejected?>>37295877That's...a little frightening honestly.
>>37295928".......WHY DUDE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?">Punches Krogrr
>>37296002It is rather witchy if you think about it
>>37295987I really wonder how. >>37296012Why shouldn't I. What was your thesis about?
>>37296010Aw, what the matter? Are you afraid that mean and very sexually attractive lady is going to put you in your place?
>>37296050Who would want to kill a champion of glam?
>>37295961Centuries ago Lupa let it go. Besides you got some nice physical reactions out of it.>>37295970What? Why would you think that?
>>37296059Yeah, go tell him lass
>They both start fighting
>>37296059Look human, I am confident enough in my own, non magically enhanced strength that I don't have to get into a pissing contest.And sexually attractive? Please. Besides we dragonborn find attractiveness in one's personality, and yours is decidedly vile.
There, are you happy now?
>>37295970Oh, right... that's why I didn't bring up the lolimancer's curse before my mind went all wonky...Well I already told the story last meeting I was on. Before I stumbled into the Witchcraft Faculty with that lolimancer's curse, well....>puts on a fake moustacheI was a wizard, a male one. To be honest I thought I told you back then, did it really slip my mind?
>>37296074Perhaps the champions of rap and hip hop? The mighty heroes of progressive and hard rock would probably got her back, thought... I keep getting the feeling this thing is actually deeper than it seems...>>37296076... well you asked me to make you.
>>37296133>Sweats draconicallyBahamut preserve me.
>>37296133All of it deals a deal <Fog cloud>>>37296143Alright then i guess.Anyways i am out for an errand see you all later.
>>37296122Will someone seperate Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumb?>>37296132...I'm sorry, I must have heard you incorrectly, but did you just call me unattractive?
>>37296160You haven't heard the last of me!
>>37296160"Already took care of it, sorors. see >>37295928">is headbutted by Brogrr
>>37296135I see. Truth to be told, young lady, you should have talked to me about this years ago, but at least now all of those jokes Jheska used to tell make way more sense.
>>37296178I think he tried his damned hardest to.But he's a dragonborn, so he kinda sucks at it.
>>37296160>Accidentally casts a Gale Wind that clears the fogOh My Heavens! What Have I Done!
>>37296133>sweating and mutteringthis is why so many wizards lose their powers...>>37296178He said your personality was. Wait, can you steal that from people in a dark alley too? If so, bravo. That takes some talent to do without spells.
>>37296143The champions of rap and hip-hop are almost all Black Mages. Make sure you be careful whenever you see one, you never know if they will kill you.>>37296178 >>37296205I got it.*steps between the two of them and starts blocking their attacks*Quit it you two.
>>37296158>not based tiamatYou such a pleb, Dramorn. So pleb it hurts.
>>37296228"I think you cast a spell that cleared away the fog."
>>37296050Well I've learned a lot about how magical girls and their magic works, ever since having found that trinket. Their history is still a mystery, but the way they were taught to use their craft is really quite interesting. It's like their emphasis was on pure destructive energy, to the point paladins would get a bit antsy at the inability to differentiate between "a magical girl got into a fight" and "a demon caused a giant explosion". Apparently the reason they were folded into the mage's guild was that since we have so much power going around, we'd be able to keep them in check. But the committee was convinced that it was all "junk research" and "irrelevant to advances in magical theory". What do you think?
>>37296236As if. My personality is perfect and has always been perfect. Everything about me is absolutely perfect. I don't need a new personality. He's obviously just stupid.
>>37296252How....how did you do that? They're one person with two heads and you....and you....Oh no, did I eat the mushrooms again?>>37296143Sounds like a hell of a quest.
>>37296215>>37296215Insults are not our strong suit. >>37296178Separate them? They are an ettin, why do you wish them dead?Also, I can't be sure how most humans see you. But yes.
>>37289462>apologize to local government>despite doing nothing wrongThe abbot warned me you arcanists were spineless.
>>37296252They're two heads on 1 body>>37296133"I honestly don't get why you're acting so weird about being naked, we are elves after all."
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>37296160>Casting Censorship Conveniently placed Beams of Light!
>>37296306Ah, I see, I haven't interacted with Dragonborn's for so long, I forgot how dull-witted they are. In that case, I shall remember to ignore you opinion from now on.
>>37296212Actually I did the mistake of asking her to deal with it. In the end I decided I enjoyed the Witchcraft Faculty and accepted the change. Studding under you made it all worth it Fryia, I want you to know that.
>>37296299>>37296311You act like putting my hand between their heads is difficult.
Ah! Who is responsible for this!?
>>37296253Get that Kobold shit out of my face. All the Dragonborn of my family have been Metallic all the way down to Durzegon the Radiant. Besides, how do you not find all those heads freaky? Imagine a giant with ten heads, imagine it.>>37296264Did I? Whhhhaaaat?
>>37296394The SHAME CONE...I'm calculating 98% odds on Soros doing this to mess with me as well. I know better I KNOW BETTER. I'LL NOT LOSE MY WIZARD POWERS THAT EASILY.
>>37296394not me.
>>37296275I think it is ridicolous to put together daemons and magical girls, for starters. What about Crom then. Besides... Well, but their emphasis *is* on destructive magic, actually. Getting folded into this guild was a risk I am surprised to heard Antruthius took, but I don't think your research is to be so easily dismissed as worthless. What about quin? You could bring her before the commitee as a living proof of your theories.
>>37296384
>>37296458Why my nametag
>>37296394WHO INDEED!>>37296375I interact with humans daily, so I'm used to your people's brand of hasty idiocy. And please do refrain from speaking to me, that would be lovely.
>>37296458I'm not going to be impressed by Quin, I could have scooped her up and brought her in!
>>37296314Meh. I tried. I'm tired and distracted. I think I'll head back to my room and try to get it cleaned up. Try not to die everyone.
>>37296495... sorry. You did use my tablet last meeting, didn't you?
>>37296501Hey, Lupa don't be so mean to my dragon friend.
>>37296527 Yes I did. At least keep it under spoiler, fucking cretin. Yes I did.
>>37296522Have a nice evening.
>>37296522,1Soon my child, soon.
>>37296528If I see an Idiot, I will call them an Idiot. I don't give people preferential treatment just because they happen to be friends of a colleague.
>>37296522Hope to see you in the archives later tonight!
>>37296448Lupa, I'm sure the spirits have left that musty old archive by now>>37296556,1Hush my child, she'll hear you
>>37296554 Well take your nametag off next time after the meeting.
>>37296556Not as good of a night as who I meant to aim that spell at will be having.Don't censorship while distracted kids. Someone might get censored in full clothing!
>>37296570It's one thing to dislike someone for their idiocy. It's another to be unreasonable for no reason. I will avoid having enemies within these halls, Gods above and below know I have enough already, but you are making that increasingly difficult.
>>37296570You don't have to be so rude about it.
>>37296570>>37296622Quit it you two. We are all peers here. Be polite.
>>37296588um... W-who are you talking to?>>37296622Pft, please, I don't have to listen to some young whelp who barely knows how the world works. >>37296628I'll be as rude as I want to be, thank you very much.
Haha time to curl up with my dogs and watch Shrek while eating chicken nuggets!
>>37296661Or they can settle their differences in a Magic Duel!
>>37296400>Besides, how do you not find all those heads freaky?Vore fetish.
>>37296570You gonna make it to the archives?>>37296628,1No, none shall forget you while I draw breath
>>37296275Think I could have a look on that thesis of yours? I might be able to add something.>>37296458I would indeed be willing to stand as living proof of Sam's theories.>>37296503I think I have figured out how I did that weird transformation I hit Noone with, want to be my next test subject?
>>37296661Ever the cool head.Do you see a lot of diplomancy in your life as a noble?
>>37296675No one. Nothing to worry about>>37296698Yes. Please refrain from jokes about making me a real man.
>>37296675The spirit in the archivesIt wants to make Vex its thrall.
>>37296689Pierre, your ghost posts are still posting here. Your posts are alive!
>>37296689I guess... B-but you're sure their aren't any ghosts?
>>37296737Never!
>>37296681You can't solve everything with duels. And hurling insults is actually akin to a duel between highly skilled wizards. You know how words can hurt? Sometimes they don't need to be Power Words.
>>37296744Of course I'm sure. You act like I never talk to myself>>37296738I had an idea about linking to ghost posts from /tg/ and it worked. Gonna get some mileage out of this one.
So this is all a fetish thread for someone who gets off to misuse of power right?
>>37296765That's boring.But I bow to your wisdom, Master.
>>37296721Yes, it is one of the many skills you have to pick up when dealing with the politicians of the Kingdom.
>>37296765Sticks and stones and what not.>>37296744,1Yes, you shall feed on their fears.
>>37296675>Pft, please, I don't have to listen to some young whelp who barely knows how the world works.Whelp? How old do you think I am exactly? And don't you dare talk to me as if i have not seen the world in all its grandeur and horror. I have loved, lost, enslaved, freed, fought and killed on both sides of the law and seen whole cities burn and be rebuilt. And you would say I do not know the world?
>>37296737As long as it doesn't keep her from teaching.>>37296820Not what?>>37296686I thought yours was tentacles Crom.
>>37296844What!? No! I don't want to have any more masters than I already do!
>>37296844Eh, having only one at a time is kinda boring.
>>37296844Don't know, never paid much attention when I was being lectured>>37296860,1YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
>>37296860What about a partner?
>>37296881".....I honest to gods know this one piece of smut you might really like then."
>>37296886Ghostpost linking isnt working and its making it look like you're talking to other people like a crazy person.Which is hilarious
>>37296732Hah, good comeback. Actually I have looked into if I can use it to transform males into magical girls, no success yet. But don't worry, I know you aren't interested in volunteering for THAT so I won't try it on you once I figure it out. Besides, we made a pretty good team when you wanted to give Noel pants, even if I was only supplying the power.
>>37296890My people prefer the term "minion".
>>37296916Don't you mean OUR people?
>>37296905That's the idea. I'm having fun haha>>37296911You are simply the best marshmallow cat>>37296911,1What? Who cares about the dragonborn, he wasn't part of the deal!
>>37296932Yeah, sure. Whatever.
>>37296916I prefer the term "Student"Just as effective as minions, only they work for grades and not money.
>>37296916Ah, a little domination thing goin' on huh?
>>37296839Please, I've done all that too, and I'm pretty sure I did it a couple of centuries before you were even born. compared to me, most people in this guild are but infants just coming out of their mother's womb. I have conquered death, made nature my plaything, and have created several armies from scratch over the many years. I have had several children, all of whom are now dead, and I am now on my 94 times great grandchildren. So you do not impress me at all, oh 'Great Dragonborn'.
>>37296886You killed you master, they say.>>37296881Crom.... honestly I cant help but find you to be rather disgusting sometimes.
>>37296944WHAT
>Leave to find a dead witch
>>37296970Hey Lupa, I think there's a Phantom in the archives that just called you a guy.
>>37296958We prefer the term "unconditional love".>>37296957Grades? I've just been rewarding my students by letting them live. What's all this about grades?
>>37296932What do you mean YOUR people?>>37296932,1Lupa's a woman you fool, just because she hates ghosts doesn't mean she won't go beserk!>>37296905,1MY GOD, HOW DID YOU DIE?>>37296976Yeah, Secretus. He was a godawful prick.
>>37296698You can read it, sure. Please don't make any changes, just...you know, tell me any inconsistencies you find.>>37296458What I was thinking was they needed a demonstration - I know you're still not the biggest fan of it, but maybe you'd be able to help with that? And no, you would not be anywhere close to the line of fire.
>>37296916I kinda like your people's habits. When I am not the minion.>>37297007Elves. Bloody Elves.>>37296976No offense taken lass.
>>37297007"Elves. Duuuuuh.">>37297007"Okay."
>>37296991Nothing.>>37297018,1My gods, its as if she's really there! Speak to me! Name your killer!
>>37297000O-oh... I-is that so... W-well, I'm going to correct him aren't I. Maybe next Wednesday... I think I'm free then...
>>37297052Seriously, reading the ghost thread and reading how it looks here is fucking hilarious
>>37297007You never told me about him in the end.>>37297018Will it include Noel?
>>37297040Oh. Carry on.>>37297040,1No of course he's not a mage. Well, I mean I don't know. Maybe after that thing Quin did.
>>37297040,1"No I'm the liaison from the thieves guild. Duuuuh."
>>37297004Really? How unconditional is unconditional?>>37296970It seems an awful lot like your the one trying to impress me.
>>37297089You're the one who started this pissing contest, not me.
>>37297059Well, normally i'd willing to make a go at kicking that ghost's ass because I don't get to duel them nearly often enough... but because it is after you in particular, I might hold off for a bit.
>>37297089>>37297110I still think you should duel one another.
>>37297142"What is it with you and duels?"
>>37297004Think of it this way: grades are kind of like a *degree* of letting your students live.
>>37297088YOU CAN SEE THEM TOO? AM I DEAD?>>37297077fun intensifies>>37297081,1No one likes a smartass, how am I supposed to avenge you if you don't name your killer!>>37297089,1Well, Soros is rather full of himself, and Fryia is struggling with latent morals. I'm afraid I just don't know what to do about it, I'm getting them too lately. But you're there for me. You understand.>>37297080He was every bit as powerful as Soros, and put all that power into being a complete prick.
>>37297052Pierre, I can't help but notice something if off ... it is like you decided that the principle of cause and effect does not apply to you anymore.
>>37297142"And why are you naked? Have you no shame?">>37297167"See what?"
>>37297156You're pretty awesome, Vasha.>>37297155They make everything simple and easy.
>>37297173What? I'm not communing with the dead. Who said I was?https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/#q37297089_1
>>37297142A simple enough way to settle an argument.>WhispersDo want some clothes? You seem cold my dear.
>>37297197I'm not doing this on purpose! And you're the chump that said it's okay because "I'm an elf"!
>>37297080Only if she wants to, and in that case she won't be in the firing line either.And all this talk of ghosts is really getting me on edge. C'mon guys, c-cut it out.
>>37297248"When did I say that?"
>>37297248Well, he is an elf after-all, so he has a point.
>>37297197HAVE I GONE MAD?>>37297217,1WHAT IS REAL? TELL ME O DECEASED CAT PERSON! Wait no don't, I'd probably believe it.
Uhhh- no one wants to talk to me. Hello my friend barrel of ale, why don't you call over your brothers so that we can haz some fun together?>>37297167How did you manage to kill, kill, kill him then *hic*! You suck at, at, proppppper magic!
>>37297247Don't let the elf squirm her way out of her bet. She made it and now she has to live with it.
>>37297247I'm freezing, but I'm not allowed to wear any for three days.And Vex never welches on a bet. Especially when my opponent can create magic nukes.Just saying, Soros is seriously OP.
>>37297173He is dabbling in necrocomunication by the looks of things.>>37297264Boo!
>>37297264Tell me about this experiment of yours then.>>37297217 I know, I just wanted to fool around
>>37297283Stabbed him in the fucking face, that's how. Planned it out, waited for the proper moment using everything he taught me. In that one moment all of my anger came to bear and I was ecstatic. Then he devalued the whole thing by chuckling and telling me I was earlier than expected, but he was proud nonetheless.
>>37297199You flatter me, miss. So, what's going on with the nudity, pray tell?
>>37297248Again, would some clothes help you out? I'd hate for you to catch a sniffle. Then I would have to carry you back to you swamp and feed you warm soup by the fire until you got better.
>>37297281"we're all mad here.">>37297283>Pops himself down next to his old pal Crom and gives him a hearty slap on the back"Hey best buddy!">>37297319"Why not make the room warmer then, you shameless sillynanny?"
>>37297319 Let's be honest, a lot of us are OP, that's why all we ever do is just stand around and talk
>>37297319He really is. So are a lot of the other mages. That is part of what makes the Mages guild fun!
>>37297264No ghosts here>>37297283,1Hush, they're getting suspicious. Is that mimic looking at you?>>37297363I appear to have underestimated you.>>37297366Lupa, you look a bit uncomfortable, is everything alright?
>>37297366Well its only to be expected in a meeting of mages.Though even then Non-mages are pretty tough.
>>37297319Ah, well a blanket isn't clothes now is it?>Produces a woollen blanket from his satchel
>>37297366I'm a little surprised you guys went that route. But oh well, Vex is a weakling here, then.>>37297363I didn't want to impose. I remember everyone telling me not to mess with the thermostat around here.
>>37297338*hic!* cheer up man, you, you did nothing, nothing wrong. Just killed sum bashtard, who never did? I have, have killed to many peoples I keep getting so many ghosts haunting me, they, *hic!* have started to, to take turns. Hic. You are, are not a bad guy, Pierre. I am a, a, an evil bitch, so I should know.
>>37297366[spoilers] I'm not OP [/spoilers]
>>37297422Aw, thanks. This doesn't go against the bet, does it?
>>37297403>Most people do, and they should because he is just the fuck worst.
>>37296944I know I am.>>37297018Excellent, I'll send you a list of anything you might have missed or seem to have gotten wrong once I'm done with my current project.Do you think you might need me for this demonstration of yours?
>>37297403W-whatever do you mean? I'm perfectly fine! >>37297422Nuh-uh, none of that. If I had to be completely naked for a year, then she can last for 3 days.
>>37297488It probably does. Why not just cast an aura of warmth?
>>37297338Is this everything or are you keeping something hidden?>>37297443And there she goes again... and I cannot bring myself to bear her delusions. Pierre?
>>37297488"No don't think so." IIRC, yes.
>>37297328Mostly a comparative demonstration of magical output without any limitations or other outside factors - launching them downrange at inanimate targets. I know you mostly use Power Words, but you have to have some big nasty concussive bomb spell in your bag of tricks, right?
>>37297488Hell yeah it does. I was only allowed to sleep on top of my bed for a whole year because covers counted. So get used to it elf, or you will be known as a welcher
>>37297504Shush. If this was a blizzard you'd be the biggest snowflake in it.>>37297488It's not clothes and you're not technically wearing it. >WinksSomething I learned on the force, it's all about semantics.
>>37297543"What is a welcher? is it like the jelly?"
>>37297443You're not an evil bitch, you're on a glam quest remember? Daveth the fucking Bowyer still smiles upon you.>>37297351,1I don't know what to believe anymore!>>37297443,1Oh.....please don't tell them mas....Secre......fly on the wall.>>37297495,1Wait, you know each other?>>37297504You just look so pale!>>37297524Uh.......we could possibly have an issue have an issue possibly possibly have an issue issue.
>>37297543I can't risk welching.>>37297560Dramorn, I decline your generous gift.
>>37297537I don't want to put it like Crom would do but...*ahem*"yer just gonna blow up sumthing pretending it is some high magic shit and call it a night, aren't ye?"Or something like that.
>>37297319Ah, so that's how it was.Why not use a glamer? I mean, it's not like it would be considered rude. Think of it as laundry day, like your armor is smelly and dirty from a year long campaign and won't be clean for a while.
>>37297601It's alright. Theres more than one way to stay warm.
>>37297613Soros said I couldn't cover anything with magic, and I have to honor that deal.
>>37297601>Passes Vex a drink"Well if you can't get warm with clothes, you can get warm other ways!"
>>37297560I don't even know what that means you idiotic scale-head.
>>37297655Lewd
>>37297655Yes! Let's all get hammered!
>>37297578The ghooooosts pierre! I killed them all! And I don't, don't *hic* even remember half of them, it is so full, full, full of children I don't even get how it ish posshible there are, hic! there are adolescents anymore in a forty-mile radiush from me! I want to die alredy- *hic!*
>>37297682"I don't understand.">>37297691".....Are you sure?"
>>37297655>Eyes Noone>>37297661You're full of yourself. If you are as venerable as you claim you are one would think that you would have learned some humility.
>>37297578>Uh.......we could possibly have an issue have an issue possibly possibly have an issue issue.I'm listening, old pal. Tell me everything.>>37297691Don't you have to teach tomorrow?
>>37297692Cromina, use this nametag instead>very obviously reads "Bottle Fairy Cromina"
>>37297652Just in my nature to find loopholes. No clothes or magic... what about armor?And is there some strong ale around the place?
>>37297603,1You know, most people would reflect on the error of their ways in your position. Asshole.>>37297661Despite me reconsidering this more and more by the second, would you like to meet an old friend of mine in the archives?>>37297661,1WHAT DO YOU MEAN STARE AT VEX'S TITS, DOWN THAT PATH LIES LOSING MY MAGIC!>>37297661,2Doubtful, she's a wily one>>37297692If Daveth can forgive you, so can I>>37297732I think Secretus is down there.
>>37297603I'm not gonna pretend it's high magic at all - the point of the demonstration is to objectively prove that these girls were given access to incredibly high levels of magical power, and told to just brute force their way through any problem she came across. It makes me wonder - what could people who know how to use magic more efficiently and with more variety do, when given access to that same technology? It's not revolutionizing magical theory, but it's got some potential applications in defending the guild from whatever nasties try attacking it.
>>37297691THERE'S AN IDEA!
>>37297732>looks very stunnedOh your gods... Fryia, I can't teach my classes like this!
>>37297759Someone already pointed out that she only has to be naked while running. She probably wants to be naked.
>>37297537Any chance I could observe this demonstration? I'm always looking for ways to counter those damn beam attacks that magical girls seem to favour, and watching one that isn't aimed at myself would probably prove insightful.>>37297571,1>turns to face what appears to be thin air with a smileYou sound like my kind of spirit Secretus.
>>37297724Humility is for the weak and the stupid. I have long since rid my body of such weakness, and have spent centuries becoming a master in my field.>>37297772um... M-maybe later?
>>37297738>stares at Vex holding an half full bottle>tries to hit her on the head, failing miserably>drops under the table carried by her own momentum>>37297772>still under the tableI, I am beyyyyyond forgivenessh! Hic!
>>37297772>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN STARE AT VEX'S TITS, DOWN THAT PATH LIES LOSING MY MAGIC!" shout Conspierre to the world as the world giggles This ghost stuff is hilarious
>>37297782"Vex, are you sure about us all getting hammered?"
>>37297822pins nametag on you.>>37297791I don't think that's what Soros meant.
>>37297782That's your fault and therefore, your problem. Fix it at once. I am going to my rooms for the night, enjoy your stay, fellow wizards.
>>37297841YES.
>>37297822Cromina, you really shouldn't have to drink so much, dear. It always seems to make you more depressed.
>>37297794>Blank stare of horrorDONT LISTEN TO HIM. I GOT MASSIVE POSITIVE KARMIC BALANCE RESHIFT THING FOR KILLING HIM>>37297816No, at this point I need moral support.>>37297816,1Oh come on, Fryia's married>>37297822No, you are not. You have a glam quest to undertake
>>37297866".....If you say so>Draws a sledge hammer and squats down, fading from sight
>Watches with amusement as everyone else gets totally smashedI thought we were going to save the alcohol for the Archives.
>>37297859Wait, Master! I can't look like the badass queen of all evil without my snazzy threads. Can't someone cover for me?
>>37297893>Skulks down the stairs again, Grabs Noone by the scruff of his shirt and pulls him back up "No."
>>37297905I'm reasonably certain the only other teachers here at the moment are necromancers.So no, not really. I'm going to laugh at you now.
>>37297905That's where you're wrong, you look more evil BECAUSE you're naked. It makes you look confident and strong.
>>37297905Just use a doppelganger or a puppet.
>>37297951We really need to repair this relationship of ours, Veilhex.
>>37297859>minor illusion: puppy eyesHe's less of a threat dead, I did you all a favor!>>37297905,3CROMIA? MY GOD SHES DIED OF ALCOHOL POISONING!>>37297905,4YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ME THAT WAY>>37297905,1Oh now this is just getting silly.
>>37297951>still under the tableI am a teacher! *hic* I, I teach out to kick shit into the balls with fucking fireballs!
Page eleven? The fuck?
