>>40550102

Local cafe

>>40550102
To shitpost on a different board hopefully

>>40550102
>The supermarket

>>40550102
>>A local organic market
>>40550140

>>>/b/

>>40550102

You drive to the local cafe. It's a bit of a hipster joint now, but years ago it was a real punk hangout. There's still grafitti on the walls and posters and stickers which reflect its past.
The patrons are mostly mid-20's guys and girls of average build with thick, black glasses and flannel shirts. Their hair is uniformly messy.
The cash register has a chalkboard next to it. "Today's Coffee: Costa Rican Mild, $1/cup, 20% off beans".

>Try to strike up conversation with the customers.
>Browse the beans.
>Order a cup of the Costa Rican Mild.
>Write-in.

>>40550226
>Browse the beans after having a cup.

>>40550226

Just get a bloody cup. At least they aren't giving hipster prices.

>>40550268
This

>>40550268
>>40550337

You go up to the register. A young woman with a half-shaved head is sitting behind the counter reading a book of poetry. It's Dante, from what you can see. After waiting about 30 seconds, you clear your throat.
"What do you want?" She absentmindedly asks you, not looking up from her book.
"One cup of coffee," you respond, pulling out your wallet. She lets out an aggrivated sigh, putting a decorative bookmark in the book and walking to the machine, pouring a cup, and putting it in front of you.
"One dollar." You hand her a dollar. You now have $29.

You sniff the coffee and take a sip. Mild and nutty with a slight honeylike aftertaste. Mostly, it tastes watered down. But you get what you pay for.
After spending a few minutes drinking the watery coffee, you browse the beans. There are several section for you to look over.

>Examine Dark
>Examine Medium
>Examine Mild
>Examine Specialty coffee

>>40550396
>examine teas

>>40550396
>Examine Medium

If we're worried about our caffeine intake we can always look into some half-caff later.

>>40550408

The hipster joint does not carry any teas.

Investigate the specialty.

>>40550420
Fucking what. What sort of hipster store doesn't carry things it has no business carrying? I thought effective specialization was mainstream.

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>>40550226
>hipster joint

RIP AND TEAR. What's the dice roll for beating a hipster to death with his own trilby/fedora/stupid looking hat?

>>40550396
Also, examine the speciality coffee. Blue mountain a best.

Why does this shitty slice of life quest bring me more contentment than anything I've read today?

What is wrong with me?

You look at the medium section. Full flavor has always been too harsh for your tastes and mild is far too watery for you to really enjoy it.
There are several kinds of medium roast coffees for sale here, some local stuff and other import stuff, listed below.
The specialty coffee section has some odd stuff. A small section marked "Turkish" is present with one brand; you can't read the bag. There are other bags of coffee here as well, one with Hindi written on the bag, some in German.
There are also several coffee related bumper stickers and mugs for sale in the specialty section. It strikes you that there is no decaf coffee available. The mugs have "Death Before Decaf" printed on them.
You currently have $29.

>Medium-Full tasting notes: A meaty bean which will give you the sensation of chewing after a meal without a bitter aftertaste. $15
>Medium tasting notes: A classic java-style flavor which features prominently on the nose but with little on the tongue. $15
>Medium-Light tasting notes: Light on the nose but with a honeylike aftertaste on the tongue; mild but with the kick of a medium. $15

Specialty coffees do not feature tasting notes.

>Turkish: $17
>German: $16
>Indian: $13
>"Death Before Decaf" Travel Mug: $10 and 50% a bag of beans
>"Death Before Decaf" Bumper Sticker: $2

>>40550564
Sometimes, the simple fills what the complex misses.

>>40550602
>"Death Before Decaf" Travel Mug: $10 and 50% a bag of beans

Should read

>"Death Before Decaf" Travel Mug: $10 and 50% off a bag of beans

>>40550602
Get the indian.. its probably a malabar. Make some snarky off hand comment about them not even having chemex...

>>40550602
>Medium-Light tasting notes: Light on the nose but with a honeylike aftertaste on the tongue; mild but with the kick of a medium. $15

Unless somebody else posts a choice I'll have to roll 1d2 to decide between your choices.

>>40550640
Indian is cheaper. We only have 29 dollars to our name. Assuming we have a mug at home already?

>>40550792

Yes, as a coffee fanatic you have several mugs at home.

>>40550792
I'll switch to Indian.

>>40550853
>>40550637

You bring the Indian coffee up to the register and make a snarky comment about them not having chemex. The girl behind the counter pushes a tip jar towards you.
"Just ring me up."
"Sir, the law dictates that I can refuse service to whoever I want."
This is getting old. The hipster girl is just irritating. How do you respond?

>Just give her a dollar and buy the coffee.
>Insist on seeing her manager.
>Walk out, coffee in hand.
>Walk out, leaving the coffee behind.
>Write-in.

>>40550925
Insist on seeing the manager, by screaming for the manager. She denies us service, we deny her existence.

>>40550925
>>Insist on seeing her manager.
Let's not be a douch though

>>40551020

You see no reason why you should stand for this. You're already a paying customer and all you wanted to do was buy coffee. You set the Indian coffee down on the counter.

"HEY, IS THERE A MANAGER BACK THERE?" You yell.
"Shut up!" The hipster girl says, stashing her book away.
"I'M TRYING TO BUY COFFEE AND NO ONE IS HERE TO SERVICE ME." You continue to yell, completely ignoring the girl.
"Be quiet, douchebag! I'm trying to write a book!" Someone yells from the lobby.

After a few seconds, a man in a white button-up shirt and black jeans comes out. He's tall and lanky, with a ponytail.
"What seems to be the issue?" He asks.

>Insist on the girl being fired.
>Calmly explain the situation, just trying to buy coffee.
>Ask for a discount because of the rude behavior of the employee.
>write-in

>>40551167
>Calmly explain the situation, just trying to buy coffee

>>40551167
>>Calmly explain the situation, just trying to buy coffee.

>>40551167
>Calmly explain the situation, just trying to buy tea.

>>40551203
>>40551251
>>40551295


"I was just trying to buy some coffee and be on my way. Your employee here said that she would refuse service to me if I didn't tip her, so I called for you. Can you ring me up?"
"Julie, I know you're not thrilled to be here today, but please don't take it out on the customers," the lanky man says, ringing up your purchase. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. That'll be $13."
You hand him the money.
"And please take this coupon, for the inconvenience." He hands you a coupon for one free cup of coffee. It seems to be placed at an easy to reach location, which makes you think that this kind of thing happens often.
"Thank you." You take the coupon and leave the store. As you leave, a large man walks in wearing loose fitting clothing. He bumps you on the way in. As you walk to the car, you hear:
"Give me all your fucking money or I'll shoot you dead!" come from inside of the cafe.

>Just go to the car. Karma's a bitch.
>Call the cops after getting in your car.
>Go in there and try to stop the guy yourself.
>Write-in.

call the cops. sneak a look to see if it is a gun or a knife(althought the latters highly unlikely)

>>40551312
>Go in there and try to stop the guy yourself.
We have a cup of boiling hot coffee, and he's distracted.

>>40551312
>Call the cops
>take out stress on mugger

>>40551462
>not shooting people with knifes
You must suck at counterstrike.

>>40551312
Apply fist to mugger.

i would change my mind about the cops if we have a chance at banging the counter girl

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>>40551503

>>40551537
...really?
She didn't exactly give off the best first impression.

>>40551561
i dont know that havlf shaved kind of thing was kind of hot

>>40551537
The only description we've had on her is that she has a half shaven head.
Meaning just about everything else is unremarkable.
And she's a hipster.
Your standards are subterranean.

>>40551471
>>40551503
>>40551486

You decide that despite the attitude of the people in the cafe, there's no reason not to get involved. Immediately, you head back into the cafe.
The man is holding out a gun and aiming it at the manager. You dump your cup of hot coffee on his head. He screams in pain and drops his weapon.
As a kid, you studied a bit of judo and you took wrestling in high school. You immediately put the man in a full nelson.

Roll 1d20, DC 12. The best of three rolls will be counted as the deciding roll.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>40551605

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>>40551599
ur wrong about that sir.

i have no standards

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>40551605
Luck be a lady

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>40551605
in b4 it was a fucking nerf gun and we interrupted some sort of pretentious hipster performance art or some shit

>>40551649
Even better.
Besides, he was in loose fitting clothing, not flannel and skinny jeans.

>>40551605

Shit, wrong name.

>>40551619

That passes.

The man struggles against you, but you feel a fire burning inside your heart. Your day did not start well and you had to deal with lip from Julie.

"All I wanted was a fucking coffee!" You yell at him, lifting him off of the ground. You bend back and apply a dragon suplex.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGA1kfiV3t4

The man's head hits the cheap wooden floor with a smack and you stand up, looking over him. The gun is on the ground, as is your bag of Indian coffee beans. The man is bleeding and unconscious.

>Pick up the beans and leave.
>Give the gun to the manager and call the police.
>Write-in.

>Pick up the beans and leave.

like a boss. wink at the counter girl as u leave

>>40551685
>>Give the gun to the manager and call the police.

>>40551685
>Give the gun to the manager and call the police.

>>40551725
>>40551751

You pick up the gun, remove the clip, and place it on the counter. Then you pull out your cell phone, calling the police.

"Police department." You explain where you are and that there was an attempted robbery, and mention that the robber is currently incapacitated. You don't mention that you suplex'd him into the ground.
"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to stay there. You will possibly have to testify in court if this case goes to trial."
"Alright." You hang up.

>Wait there, staying silent.
>Wait there and talk to (write in).
>Take your beans and go home, leaving this problem for the police.
>Write-in.

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>>40551823
>clip

>>40551823
We could really use another cup of coffee. We should ask the hipster serving girl if she will make us another cup of coffee. Also, we correct the narrator and point out that what we just removed from the gun is a magazine, not a clip, and also we rack the slide to make sure it doesn't have a round left chambered.

>>40551863
thank you

>>40551860
>Getting anal about calling mags clips
And yet you probably call cartridges bullets.

>>40551863
No, we removed the magazine, removed the clip FROM the magazine, and put the magazine back in.
Jesus people, reading comprehension isn't hard.

>>40551823
Get another cup of coffee.
And be sure to pay for it.
We ain't a cheapskate.

>>40551896
What the hell kind of pistol (presumably it's a pistol we're talking about) is this where the clip stays in the magazine

wait there and stay silent. disassemble the gun and destroy the firing pin. even if the suspect got his hands on it again he wont be able to fire it

>>40551863
I don't see how Reader's Digest is in any way related to the situation at hand.

>>40551941
>>40551937
>>40551896
>>40551888
>>40551873
>>40551863

While my friends went to the target range I would practice with my bo staff; I'm the first to admit that I don't know a damn thing about guns.

You pocket your phone and lean against the counter.
"Could I have another cup of coffee? I seem to have spilled mine."
"R-right." Julie goes to pour you another cup. She seems a bit shaken, and the other people in the cafe are a bit disturbed. It seems like these guys have never seen a bit of violence in their lives. Julie hands you the cup. You take a sip.
"How much do I owe you?"
"No charge."
"Take this anyway." You place the free coffee coupon on the counter, not wanting to seem cheap.
You continue to sip your coffee until the cops arrive.

>Explain your situation to the cops.
>Take your beans and walk past them, going home.
>Write-in.

We should put the gun in the tip jar. Just for shits and giggles.
And if we get a fresh cup of coffee, sit on the perp while we drink it.

>>40551960
>Explain your situation to the cops.
We are a law-abiding and upright citizen

>>40551960
>Explain your situation to the cops.
I walked in, bought some coffee, walked out, heard this punk shouting demands, walked back in, dumped my coffee on his head, and knocked him out.

>>40551960
Maybe we should have checked exactly how badly we injured the armed robber, but oh well
>Explain your situation to the cops

>>40551960
>Take your beans and walk past them, going home.

We only wanted coffee.

>>40552010
Yeah, but now we HAVE coffee, and there's been no suggestion that we have a job or anything like that to go to, so why not hang out in this hipster caf- why the fuck are we still here

>>40552028
to bang the counter girl

>>40552043
So, we explain to the police that we just wanted some coffee, but now we are caffeinated and what we'd really like to do is bang Julie over there.

>>40551997
>>40551993
>>40551974

"Are you the one who called?" A police officer asks you. It's a woman. She's of an average height and build, with small breasts and wide hips. Looks to be about thirty, with dark blond hair tied back in a bun.
"Yes. I came in to buy a coffee, this man came in just as I was leaving and I disarmed him and threw him on the ground."
She sighs. "Well, you probably won't get slapped with assault. You're lucky this guy survived, or we'd have to take you in for involuntary manslaughter."
"All I wanted to do was keep these innocent people safe."
"Well, you should leave that kind of work to us from now on." She writes some things down on a notepad. "Just tell us your name and number and then you can go home. We'll call you if this goes to court."

>What is your name?

gencidocles...

lol jk bryan smithson

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>>40552080
John Giorgo

>>40552080
...
...
...
Max
My name is Max

john smithson

>>40552080
Jonathan Donner.
My friends call me John Doe

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>>40552108
Is that what I mother fucking think it's supposed to be?

>>40552145
It's that one girl.
You know.
From the thing.

>>40552133
>>40552132
>>40552108

First name John confirmed.
Decide on a last name.
Not Snow pls

>>40552080
Even if he had died when we threw him we did nothing that was unreasonable. The man was a clear and present danger to the people around him and even though he'd dropped his weapon we had no way of knowing whether or not he was carrying anything else. He was incapacitated quickly and, frankly, with a minimum of force. If the police had been on the scene when he turned up, he'd be dead now.

>>40552191
Johnson.

>>40552191
Giorgio

smithson

>>40552191
Long.
We Hk gun movie now.

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>40552222

1: Johnson
2: Giorgio
3: Smithson
4: Long

>>40552191
>>40552222
Quads confirm, seconding.

Why no Snow? I wanna be able to say "I know nuffin'" at the trial.

>>40552284
Dat rng-god blessing

"My name is John Giorgio, ma'am." You hand her a piece of paper with your number written on it. "Can I go now? I just wanted some coffee."
"Alright, Mr. Giorgio. You can go."

You hop in the car and go home.

After grinding your coffee beans, you try the Indian coffee. It tastes like someone dumped dirt and a light amount of spice into the water; it's godawful. Probably why it was the lowest priced coffee in the store.
You're going to have to go out and get different coffee at some point. But for right now, you're satisfied.

Good game.

>>40552311
Shoulda gone Turkish.
The Turks know their coffee.

>>40552311
>didn't even fuck the hipster barista or the cop
0/10 game

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>>40552311
>Being a JoJo won
>The quest ended well and without fucking that nasty bitch
>No Waifu

10/10 best quest I've ever been in besides Anal Prolapse Quest.

>>40552332

and don't know their genocide..

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>>40552311
> Not grinding your beans in a HARIO hand-crank grinder
You goofed.