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>>46552814
>/tg/
>EVER turning down storytime

>>46552814
>>46552972

Alright, LET ME TELL YOU A TALE OF HIGH ADVENTURE...
With that out of the way, these are the two characters:

Michael Jackson, with the powers: Cry the Feelings, Pour the YooHoo, Take the Drugs, Grab the Crotch and Smooth the Criminal. Core Attribute of HeeHee
Ryan Renalds: Say the SUCC, Wear the Deadpool, Piss the Green Lantern, Go to the Bathroom and Pour the Cancer. His Core Attribute was referred to as Sexiness.

The story starts with our two unlikely heroes sitting atop the Eiffel Tower. The year: 1939. Their goal, according to a Monkey dressed in an Uncle Sam costume, is to kill Hitler.

>>46553004
Michael Jackson decides that he can't do this all tired as he is, and he goes to the Eiffel Tower Cafe and has a conversation with the local male barista.

"Hey, are you a criminal?"
"Yes..."

TIME MOMENT DECLARED.

He uses Smooth the Criminal, by lathering him up with Vaseline for free coffee. I didn't make him roll for this one, since I was amused.

Time Moment ended, with coffee in hand, the two heroes ask themselves "How do we kill Hitler?"

They sit, for a moment.

TIME MOMENT DECLARED

Michael Jackson decides to Cry the Feelings. A tank is a hard shell, as is his heart, which is filled with feelings. Therefore, he cries a tank atop the Eiffel Tower. Ryan Renalds proceeds to Wear the Deadpool. In the comics, Deadpool has the equivalent to a Bag of Holding, so he stuffs the tank in it.
A tank appears, then immediately dissappeared, and now Ryan Renalds is wearing a spandex Deadpool costume. Our two glorious Time Wizards decide to ride the elevator down from to the bottom, then Ryan Renalds pulls the tank out.

Unfortunately, this means that there is now a TANK falling on them from 10 feet above.

"I DECLARE A TIME MOMENT."

Ryan Reynalds decides to "Go to the Bathroom." Now, in this universe, Ryan Reynalds is working on a movie all about Hitler's life. And by association, Ryan Reynalds ended up in the representation of Hitler's bathroom. Therefore, he teleports to Nazi Germany and takes a shit in Hitler's own personal lavatory. Meanwhile, Michael Jackson decides to "Grab the Crotch," and does so with enough force to pull him away from the falling tank.
The two realize that there's a problem. They can't talk to each other from France to Nazi Germany, so Reynalds tries to "Say the SUCC." At this point, he fails a dice roll against me, the Time Master.

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>>46553004
>>46553036
Obvious plagiarism aside, I am so far amused.

>>46553036
>At this point, he fails a dice roll against me, the Time Master.
>justasplanned.exe
"Saying the SUCC," I say, "Is like saying that somebody can suck it. So, you shout "SUCK IT HITLER" so loud that it can be heard in Moscow."
Meanwhile, in France, Michael Jackson climbs into a goddamn tank and blows up the Eiffel Tower. Back in Germany, still inside the Time Moment, Ryan Renalds decides to "Piss the Green Lantern."

He says that Green Lantern is something that Ryan Renalds wanted to destroy, i.e. "piss on". Things are destroyed with weapons, and an Atomic Bomb is a weapon. Based on that logic, there is now an A-Bomb inside of Ryan Reynald's spandex Deadpool suit.
In France, Michael Jackson decides to "Take the Drugs." "When you take drugs, you see things. I saw a portal...a portal to Hitler's bathroom!"

Now there's a tank, a Michael Jackson, a Ryan Reynalds, an atomic bomb and a whole lotta drugs inside Hitler's apparently magnificent restroom. That's the last part I have pre-written, as this just happpened 30 minutes ago. I'll be back in 20, if this thread still lives

ITT: OP leaves to swordfights with his players, then writes up whole story.

>>46553150
Eh?

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>>46553297
>1939
>Monkey dressed in an Uncle Sam costume
>Kill Hitler
I'm not calling it BAD plagiarism, but it's not OC donut steel.

I have returned, the next part of the story shall begin momentarily.

>>46553503
Because they were in Hitler's bathroom, Michael Jackson decided that he needed a contingency in case this next part went to shit. With a Time Moment readily declared, he decides to 'Smooth the Criminal.' Particularly, the soon-to-be criminals of National Socialist Workers Party. "See, when you smooth things over with someone, you become their friends. So I'm gonna smooth things over with ALL THE NAZIs, including Hitler, and make them all friends with me."

He rolls, beats my roll by at least 10, so I say that all the Nazis are friends with the half black/half white Time Wizard chilling in Hitler's bathroom.

Now this is where it gets a bit convoluted. Jackson proceeds to DILATE time, so that he may "Grab the Crotch." A crotch, for him at least, contains something hard. Atomic Bombs are hard, you know. When Michael Jackson grabs his crotch, he looks away, so Michael Jackson looked away when grabbing the nuke, 'accidentally' arming it. Ryan Reynalds decides to "Go To the Bathroom, particularly a bathroom with a nice, safe view of the explosion."

I decide that about 6 kilometres in the air is a safe view of the bomb...keeping in mind that they're floating in the air, just waiting to fall.

The time moment ends, and the bomb goes off.
"I DECLARE A TIME MOMENT. HEE-HEE!" Michael Jackson wants to "Take the Drugs" and bullshit his way out of this predicament. He fails his roll. You know, cocaine is a drug, normally done in bathrooms. And cocaine, it really blows your mind. So by "Taking the Drugs" you have successfully taken yourself back to the bomb.

"Oh shit!" says Ryan Reynalds, and he decides to "Piss the Green Lantern." So, through a success and a bullshit, he pisses the Green Lantern ring onto his finger, and allows its power to shield them from the resulting blast and send them to Hitler, who is currently exploding.

They watch as the ensuing bomb blows up in slow motion. "ENOUGH!" said Hitler, and everything became empty.

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>>46553858
There they stood. Two Time Wizards from a modern age, against Adolf Hitler, one of the few people of mankind to attempt genocide. They stood for a while, and stared at each other. Hitler, surprisingly, spoke in English.

"You two have attempted to take from me... that which I have earned... you have attempted to usurp my God-given birthright as a descendant of the Aryan race! This action simply cannot be allowed! THEREFORE, I, ADOLF HITLER OF THE THIRD REICH, CHALLENGE YOU TO TIME WIZARD HONOR COMBAT!"

The way the system works is, instead of rolling against a Time Master, the players were rolling against another Time Wizard to see who could fuck each other up the most. Whoever rolled higher, had their affect happen first.

Michael Jackson goes first, stating he wants to "Cry the Feelings." Hitler goes against him, attempting to "Prepare the Exterminatus" in response. I used a 6d6 pool against his 7d6, and he barely managed to beat me.

"If I am crying, my friends would care about me , right? Hitler is my friend, so if he cares about me, he'll off himself."

In a normal Time Moment, this would happen. But no, Hitler is a Time Wizard, so he rips time a new one by declaring Time-Momentception. He attempts to "Trim the Moustache," with the intent of making himself into an eldritch Mecha Hitler. Michael Jackson decides to try again,"Cry the Feelings" being used one last time.
We rolled.
I roll a 17.
He takes his d6s, shakes them and blows for good luck.
19.

But before Hitler commits suicide via cyanide pill, Ryan Reynalds decides there's only one way to be sure that Hitler dies before World War II starts.

"I'd like to Pour the Cancer, please."
A syringe, containing 100% cancer appears in his hand. Reynalds injects it, and due to the pure quantity of cells expanding in a short period of time, Hitler implodes on himself.
>SUCCESS.mp3

However, those two Time Wizards never did find their way out of that white space..

>>46554187
Maybe, next time I TM, a group of Time Wizards will have to save a deranged vocalist and movie star from their self-destructive time wizardness. Until then, that's my story, folks! Feel free to post your own damn tales about that one time you blew the Universe just to see what happened.

>>46554187
>However, those two Time Wizards never did find their way out of that white space.
But, unless they were out of Posits, there are numerous ways they should have been able to do that.

>>46554393
I ended the session there, figured it would be more fun to use them as plot for a later game. They did use a lot of Posits though, so they might have run out during the final fight.

>>46554258
Well, since you've all been so loud, I suppose I'll ask a question.

Any ideas for my next Time Wizards oneshot?

...Where can I get a PDF?

>>46555029
https://1d4chan.org/images/e/e9/Time_Wizards_-_Sober_and_Serious_Edition.pdf

>>46555059
So let me get this straight.
I'm going to pick the power "Do the Laundry." as an example.
My girlfriend is held by a criminal who has a gun to her head.
I spend a Posit to open a Time Moment, and use my Time Wizard Powers.
i'm going to spend another Posit to declare that 'Doing the Laundry' is the same as successfully convincing this criminal to give up his ways, in the same sense of 'cleaning up his act'. In 'Doing the Laundry', I would be removing the negative emotional drives that cause him to act irrationally, at least for now.
Then i would roll my Power, the TM would roll Order, and the power would get resolved.
Am I right?