>>2501073
https://youtu.be/555ndsDM2qo

S: "HOOOOAAAHHHH!!"
>Star literally spoots sparks, hearts and buff arm baby rabbits from her ears
>Marco is stunned into a flustered gape
>So you smile
>Keep bullshitting
>You pay him
A: "Now it can't count as rape."

>Marco looks like he wants to swing at you
>Yet his peaceful soul won't let him take revenge
>He's shaking
>Teary eyed
>Star takes him by his hoodie and cuts a portal

M: "I...hate. You."
>Star turns
>Her eyes portals to the cosmic depths
>Her smile wide
>She whispers

[Spoiler] S: "For now." [/spoiler]

Cont

Su: "Wait!"
>Star waits
S: "Huh? Oh! Hi~ again huge stranger!"
Su: "M-myuh uh."
S: "Yah need something?"
Su: "Jusht uh...yeah I shee you an' "
S: "Are you ok?"
Su: "Shusan!"
S: "..."
Su: "I'm Shusan."
S: "Kay. Bye, Anon! Bye Shoozan!"
>She's gone
>She helped
>She ships Marconon

A: "Fuckin' faggit."
>Susan did not succeed in her woo

>Marco friendship obliterated to the stars
>Star relationship...altered


>Now Back to school
[Spoiler] >To continue your rule [/spoiler]

>>2501073
>>2501077
I feel like I came at the wrong time.

>>2501086
But Star came at the right time, if that magic display is anything to go by

>>2501077
Don’t know why it’s such a big deal. It’s basically like a birthmark, who cares? You’d think Marco’d be used to the fact that we’re a trolling asshole at this point.

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>>2501077
>The rest of the day is meaningless drivel
>Mitochondria this
>Pythagorean that
>The next day is what matters
>Because you have an enemy
A: "A stupid enemy."
L: "Don't underestimate your foes, darling. That's the same mistake they've made about you."
>You've been slighted
>Robbed
>You consider reviving the corpse of one of your adversaries from the bank
>Drilling him for information would be a huge hassle however
>The dead don't often remember much but the most important parts of their mortal life
>You heard something about a bird
>Or a lizard
A: "Dammit!"
>You drag your fingernails from your brow to your taught lips
>You hate not seeing your foes
>You want to strike
>Murder
>Maim them into submission
>The skeletons sense your unrest
>The one full of Iron nails speaks for his flock

I: "Master. We could hunt them. Drag rumors and confessions from the wretched of the maneh worlds."
A: "No."
>You snap
A: "When I want blood I'll take it myself."
>Muscles slams his fist in approval of this notion
>As best he can
>You're currently on a bean bag chair you bought at the Dollar store
>Sunken and impotent looking in the spot your castles throne should be

I: "What would you have of us?"
>You ponder
>Search yourself
>Why are you even doing this?
A: "Get me...more."
>Is it greed?
I: "More?"
A: "More bodies. More corpses."
>You stand
A: "We'll find them eventually. They'll attack again I bet if we give them enough time."
L: "So when they do you want a force that won't just punish them..."
>Luna floats to your shoulder
>Eyes you with anticipation
>You look back up
>Not sneering
>Empty
>Certain
>Deadly
A: "I wanna Dick-decimate them."

I: "By his WILL."
>The skeletons bow
>Bow waltzes in past them
>Snuggles his head in your lap
>You pet him as the underside of your brain gets poached in the sweet boil of Lunas approval

A: "We'll rob tombs. Morgues. Battlefields."
>Your pink eye flickers with delight
A: "Or make them ourselves."

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>>2501097
https://youtu.be/uFdwfwQ-ijQ

>Out they pour from depths abandoned
>Cobbled souls and hobbling horrid mechanisms
>In the dead of night
>By their Kings right
>They rob the earth
>To grow their Might

Your current gathering grounds are...

-ECHO CREEK CEMETARY
1d100 troops per gather
Only 1 viable gather before your efforts are noticed

-Swamps of MEWNI
1d50 troops per gather
Small chance of Monster corpses
Small chance of losing soldiers to the swamp

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>>2501099
Earth's roll is...
A nat fucking 20.

Mewnis roll is a 7 with advantage.

>Even with leadership
>The mud reclaims more than it surrenders.


Roll 1d100 for the bodies from Earth.

Roll 1d10 for the bodies from the swamp.

Then a d20 for the skeletons lost.

>The bois found something special out there in the graves

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>2501101

Will do!

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2501101

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>2501101

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>2501101

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>2501101

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>2501101

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>2501101
Rolling for Earth Bodies

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>2501101
Rolling for swamp bodies

Rolled 8, 6, 4 = 18 (3d10)

>>2501101
The post to choose our blessed rolls.

Stay tuned. The business is handled for now.

Next we tackle the real threat.

human interaction

>>2501117
you're gonna need to make individual rolls there, friend

>>2501124
In the options field, anon.

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2501101
1/3

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>2501101
And rolling for Skeletons Lost.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>2501101

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>2501101
2/3

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>2501101

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>2501101
3/3

>>2501101

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>2501101

Rolled 62 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>2501101
rollan for bodies and maybe more depending on if I understand the dice right

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>2501101

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>2501101

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2501101
first

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>2501101
I didn't understand the dice right

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>2501101

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>2501101
second

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>2501101
>>2501140
>>2501147
Final Ultimate Supreme Skeleton Preserving Roll!

>>2501101
third

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>2501101
>>2501152
third
again

Rolled 12 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>2501101
BY MY ERECTION

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>2501101
wew lad look at all these rolls

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>2501101

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>2501171
The literal faggotry is crippling us.
>>2501101

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>2501101

Rolled 62 + 1 (1d100 + 1)

>>2501101
Not sure if this is gonna work

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>2501119
1d100

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>2501101
>>2501181
Guess it didn't. Only one dice type per post.

Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>2501119
1d10

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>2501119
1d20

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>2501101
>>2501181
Guess it didn't. Only one dice type per post.

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>2501101

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>2501101

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>2501101

File: 1524079666583.jpg (2.71 MB, 2988x2266)

2.71 MB JPG

Rolled 12 (1d100)

Alright, let's get these rolls done.

File: 1523288516474.png (1.49 MB, 917x1977)

1.49 MB PNG

Rolled 3 (1d10)

Let's keep it going.

File: 1523236460445.gif (1.26 MB, 332x332)

1.26 MB GIF

Rolled 6 (1d20)

And to round out my shit rolls.

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>>2501077
>>He's shaking
>>Teary eyed
>>Star takes him by his hoodie and cuts a portal
>
>M: "I...hate. You."
>Marco friendship obliterated to the stars
>Star relationship...altered

This is not what I voted for.
THIS IS NOT WHAT I VOTED FOR AT ALL

>>2501298
Shouldn't have been a lala homo then. Oh well, look on the bright side.

>>2501298

Well too bad so sad

>>2501344
Even when I agree with you I still wish you would follow through on your promise to kill yourself

>>2501372
Dumbass, Chaos is already dead, he's here isn't he?

>>2501372

Best you listen to him >>2501380

We're all in hell together

So does Star think we’re gay for Marco, or did I read all of that completely wrong?

>>2501550

I'm sure Star's supporting the fujoshit since she's been exposed to Anon's mind.

I mean for fuck's sake she turned him into a trap when she was relatively normal, I fucking dread what horrors she'll bring with Anon's memed mind having flooded her thoughts

>>2501550
You mean does Star know that Anon is gay for Marco? A cave worm could see that.

>>2501560
We told him in season one that we loved him, but now its passed.

>>2501567
And we removed that particular mistake from the literal history books.
>>2501558
Same man, the psyco girl with no form of restraint.....the world is worse off for he new knowledge.

>>2501567
No we didnt. It happened during the rescue of garbage man. The typewriter didnt retcon it

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>>2501119
-Little Dark age

>Your first big day back and you never saw Janna
>The second
>No Janna
>You refuse a third
>Mainly due to your virtue of worry
L: "Do you not have faith in her loyalty?"
A: "Her loyalty ain't the issue, lil Ma."
>Luna doesn't LOOK displeased
>You still get the impression you should probably not call her pet names in reference to hoeish millennial flash stars
A: "I- I gotta make sure she's ok. That I didn't mess her up by sending her to Martha."
L: "Do you know how being a warlock usually works, dear?"
A: "Suck dick for the check."
>Luna giggles
>Your fingernails turn blue from burst blood vessels
L: "Correct."
A: "An' I don't do that because w- I gues I mea-"
>You've been smooched
>Right on the cheek
L: "Because you're my favorite."
>AHEM HERHEFF
A: "Janna's smart. She can figure this out too. She's tough. Doesn't compromise."
L: "You do mean she hasn't compromised... -yet- ."
A: "..."
L: "Don't you."
A: "Gimme my fuckin' blades."

ShrrrrRRRRRIIIP!

>You emerge in Janna's personal shelter
>An abandoned bus in your neighborhoods little park
>Other than the piles of car batteries, jerry rigged hot plates and tasteful pink curtains
>The most noticeable thing in the room is a konked out skin head
>With Janna seated on a barstool she's bolted to the floor
>Rummaging through a backpack
A: "Hey, Jann Ban."
Ja: "Sup."

Cont

This feels like a situation that Anon will feel guilty over in a couple hours or days, I hope we get to have another scene of just Marco and Anon hanging out or talking. It'd be nice to fix the mark after Anon's not riding the adrenaline ride of finding out who fucked with his stuff.

>>2501550
But Anon is gay for Marco. We've even said so in the previous season. That was like the last time we ever had a one on one with him too.

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>>2502058
>2 seconds and she hasn't called you a bitch yet
A: Something's wrong.
A: "Wassat?"
Ja: "Drug dealer."
A: "Neat. Whatchya got?"
Ja: "All his drugs."
A: "Neat! Whacya doin with em?"
Ja: "Well. First I heat the tar up in this spoon and once I get it in the needle I-"

>NOT NEAT
>DISORGANIZED
>NO
>NO
>By the time your eye has stopped twitching you and Muscles have got Janna and her bag seperated
A: "Janna. Pardon my French but what the flip do you think you're fucking doing!?"
Ja: "I'm -doing- magic. The kind I need to learn how to be a witch? Remember? My personal character arc?"
A: "Since when does that require Heroin!?"
Ja: "Essence of poppy but psh. Is'a same thing basically."
>You put your Bananas friend down
>Brace yourself for what you're about to say
>Inhale
A: "This is dangerous."
Ja: "...So you gonna stop me?"
A: "MMMMMMMMMMNNNyyeehhhhnnnooohhsssmaayyyb-"
Ja: "Ugh."
>Janna makes you drop her by swinging her loaded syringe at your forearm
A: "HEY! Watch it, bitch!"
Ja: "Anon. You gotta make up your mind."
>Janna flicks the needle a few times
>Squirts out the air
Ja: "Are you an asshole..."
>Then plunges it into an egg she's just plucked from a pickle jar
Ja: "Or do you care?"

Cont

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>>2502078
A: "I'm both."
>You snap
Ja: "So I ask again."
>Janna turns
>Live snake in one hand
>Heroin injected boiled egg in the other
Ja: "You gonna stop me?"
A: "Not if this is what you want."
Ja: "That's my fucking problem, Anon."
>Janna slaps down the egg
>Bites the head off the snake
A: "Y-"
>Then swallows
Ja: "I want bad things."
L: "You want fine things, Ordonia."
>Janna's eyes are glowing white
Ja: "Gimme your breath."
>She grabs your face
>Pulls you tight
>She pauses
>Nearly grazes your shaking lips
>Then whispers to your sweaty ear
Ja: "I want bad things and no one can stop me."
>She releases
>Stumbles to the bald headed stiff
>The sound of Gale force winds reverberate from her unseen work upon his face
>You're a strong lad
>You've watched bodies be ripped apart
>Hearts be crushed
>Minds collapse from impossible stress
>Yet a person's touch
>Got you shook af

Cont

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>>2502088
>The wind stops
>Janna stands
>Looks around

L: "Excellent work, dear."
Ja: "Oh what the FUCK!"
L: "A shame you failed, really."

Ja: "AAAHHH!"

-when it all goes wrong by ever clear

>Janna kicks the dope dealer
>Throws down some hand made dream catchers
A: "How -did- that fail?"
Ja: "I don't KNOW! I follow the instructions! I purify my essence before AND after each ritual! My hands cramp from how many times Ive "sanctified my temple" to get the blood flow right. Its the perfect time of day! I even did a red clay tattoo on my possum!"
>You glance over
>Sure enough in Janna's sink is a fat long-faced trash friend
>With a shaved ass
>Upon which is a rough but recognisable goat-ish head emblazoned on the fresh skin
>He doesn't even hiss at you
>Just won't stop smacking his lips as he chews
Ja: "Martha says I don't have enough of 'His Force' in me."
A: "The Possums?"
Ja: "...No. No you FRICK."
L: "Such language."
Ja: "I need some kind of "gift" from the Horned Father Martha draws her power from but she keeps saying I'm not ready to get it!"
L: "Does she use the term 'Administrations?' "
Ja: "Yeah sometimes but she gets all dodgy when I pry."
>Luna smirks
Ja: "That! SHE MAKES THAT EXACT FACE!"
L: "Does she walk with a limp?"
Ja: "Almost every day but like 1 week a month why?"
>Luna's smirk practically folds into a tesseract

Cont

>>2502099
A: "Are you coming to school tomorrow?"
Ja: "You gonna come here and make me if I don't?"
A: "I just want to help. I-...I want to look out for you "
>Janna crosses her arms at that
>Glares out the window
Ja: "So back off and let me get stronger like I NEED TO!"
>There's a slight rumble outside
>Its too low and soft to be thunder
>Janna's possum stops smacking
>You sent her on this path
>She's struggling
>She also won't stop on her own
>No matter the cost
A: "Good night, Janna."

SHHRRTRIIIIIIIIIP!

Ja: "Cyah..."

>You step back into your room
>Flop onto your bed
L: "My my."
>Luna chirps
L: "Wasn't that informative?"

>RELATIONSHIP STATUS WITH JANNA STRESSED
>NEW INFORMATION GAINED

>WHAT IS THE WILL OF THE HORNED ONE!?

There's social links for yah
A big blessed mystery.

Now for the fun part.
Managerial duties.

L: "How do you really feel about her, Anon?"
A: "I know I want to help...and I want her to get what she wants."
L: "Is that what you she thinks she wants?"
A: "To get her way? Yeah."
L: "You have so much to learn."
A: "About Janna?"
L: "About typical women."

>>2502105
.....why don't we just go and drag the Horned One before our throne and bitchslap him into helping her?

>>2502121
supporting

>>2502121
I would be okay with this plan. Or fuck it, see about how we can give power too. I distinctly remember Anon getting potential divinity shenanigans.

>>2502128
I mean.....we were LITERALLY god for the better part of an hour before we rewrote the universe. Probably left some power over we can just shove deep in Jannabanna.

>>2502121
It's not about the power
Janna wants to get this on her own
All her life she's known about magic, it's been her whole deal forever, but now that she has access to it, it seems she isn't very good at it, and it kills her.
Us coming in and questioning her only made it worse, and even if we've fought super hard to get were we are, NEVER forget we are also the luckiest nigga on the planet to have a patron that loves us like Luna does.
Janna is starting at square one, and the path ahead of her is long. The best thing to do is not to patronize, and stand in her way, but to help her do her homework.
Punching her teacher in the mouth will only make her teacher angry.

>>2502128
I am even more okay with this than just >>2502121

>>2502146
Yeah but if that teacher's lesson is to suck giant hairy ass goat dick while shooting heroin I'm okay with punching a few Horned Ones.

>>2502157
Being a warlock isn't easy pal, you gotta do some real dirty shit sometimes, and not everything can be handled by walking up and punching it.
I'm concerned for Janna, but she'll come out of this stronger for it if we let her do her.

>>2502099
>L: "Does she walk with a limp?"
>Ja: "Almost every day but like 1 week a month why?"
Ah, right, she's an old-school witch. She FUCKS the Devil for her power. I'd rather Janna didn't do that.

>>2502166
Warlocks a shit, fuck deals for power they never come out good for anybody but whoever holds the contract.

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>>2502146
>the path ahead of her is long
Oh come on, it's only about 12 inches

>>2502166
>let Janna take big demon dicc for chinese-grade magic
yeh nah, we punchin a Horned One in the dick.
She's better off being OUR acolyte anyways.

>>2502171
You know, the funny weird thing is, I would have expected her to figure out what she needed to do already.

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This UGLY SON OF A BITCH is fucking HOT TEEN WITCHES. And basically? You're a dumbass.

How? Just watch this free video.

>>2502187
The fuck are the cancer orbs?

>>2502172
>>2502176
... so anyway we can be the higher level guarantor for the transaction? Force more than favorable terms?

Pbbbllltt.

>So jannas gotta do the fuck for power.
>We are clingy enough to be upset about that.
>However we want to stay faithful to Jackie as well.

I say, if she wants to take the goat dick for magic let her. As long as it is not actual satan it should not be an issue.

Also, Janna is going to fuck whoever she wants for whatever reason she wants. Thats her dealio.

>>2502172
It's really the ONLY option humans have to get power. Anon is a very special exception.
SO, either we let Janna suck that goat cock and rub her back and hold her hair when she pucks afterward like a good friend, OR we get in her way and interfere with everything she's ever wanted, potentially ruining everything.
Based on the current info those are the two choices i see available.

Now mind you, we COULD be jumping the gun here all together, maybe the Goatman will let us trade some favors for to give Janna an easier ride, but is that REALLY what Janna wants?
Think about it, would Janna really be OK with us just going ahead and doing this for her, cutting all the danger out of her training cause we are a bit worried?
We should talk to old goat, then talk to Janna, then make a choose from there.
Who knows, knowing Janna she might love the chance to hop on that god cock.

>>2502176
>She's better off being OUR acolyte anyways.
Maybe, but I don't think she CAN. Will have to ask Quest about that later.

>>2502222
Why wouldn't we be able to? Anon has an entire world to bring under his rule still in the Hole, there's many ancient and angry forces still around that we can take into our own, or damned souls like we did with the train. Their power becomes our own, why not have her be a part of our team and NOT have to suck the goat dick in exchange?

Like, there's so many ways to acquire power, no need to stick with the first one she's found. I'd rather she doesn't become another monster baby maker unless it's for a certain dangerous boi and his pink arm.

>>2502217
Reminder, she's 14.

>Cause its Jannas call to suck goat dick or not.
>We are just getting mixed messages because she is into us.
>Its like, being free is her deal, but. She might, also secretly want someone to stop her from making bad decisions.

We gave up on the Jamalama route when we picked jackie faggies.

>>2502248
Bruh, JacJaNon is the best route and we've already talked with the girls about this shit in the previous season.

>>2502250
This, it is our job to make suicidal decisions to help our loved ones live a little longer and happier.

>>2502245
>Like, there's so many ways to acquire power
Not for a human, or without YEARS of what is basically lame school.
Janna is all about that fast and loose lifestyle. Free and ferociously independent. The fact that she has to take orders from Martha must be killing her, but taking orders will be even worse cause of the kiddy gloves we'll no doubt use with her.
I really think letting her do her is the best option.

>>2502260
Kiddy gloves is such a bullshit answer though, none of Anon's power is freely earned nor would it be freely given. Anything that would empower or keep our loved ones safe is something Anon would do. I want to know what these Bad Things Janna wants are, because I have no clue why she wouldn't want someone to help. She doesn't want us in her way, so why not just offer her a path without the shit that comes with her current one?

>>2502250
Yes.
>Jackie said NAE.
>Janna also said NAE (until Jackie agrees to it).

So thats gonna be on hold for a bit.

What does she want? aside from freedom.

>>2502267
>Our path is not shit-free you dingus.
>It is in fact LITTERED with explosive shit mines.

>>2502274
But it doesn't come with eating snake heads and doping up.

>>2502280
No it comes with EVEN MORE awkward romantic Jackie tension.

Which is something Janna likes even less than snake heads and heroin.

Please do not approve of a homeless 14 year old girl prostituting herself out for hell magic.

>>2502260
Why not ask Luna about alternative ways? She probably know a way or two. Maybe makinga contract with her and lending part of our power? Or if she only has to become more intimate with nature, ask Star to take her to a camping trip. Or if a demon is required, try to intruduce her to Tom.

Wow I feel pretty autistic right now, in fact Janna seems completely up for an easier path

>You leave a portal open to the Salem Woods
>A: "Martha's the witch's name."
>Ja: "What?"
>A: "What?"
>Ja: "You're still giving me the Witchy stuff?"
>A: "Well yeah."
>You shrug
>A: "If I give you something it's because I want you to have it. Not to control you..."
>You look to Luna
>The person who taught you about gifts
>She's happy at least
>Proud of you
>You can feel it
>Janna bites her lip
>Ja: "Thanks, dude."
>You look between her and Marco
>A: "Hit me up for the threesome."
>Janna laughs
>Marco's a red lil mexican apple

In the final thread
>A: "Three people who love each other all smiling together on the beach. Who would'a thought we'd see -that- at the end of the world?"
>Jackie's not laughing
>Janna's not either
>Ja: "Ohhh You just started using the L worrrrd."
>J: "Janna."
>Ja: "AND I GOT THE DOUBLE DIP! WOO! LOVE BY INCLUSION!"
>A: "J-Jackie hol' up don't fly off on me now I just mean th-"
>Jackie closes your mouth for you
>J: "Am I gonna keep coming first? I don't do tug-of-war."
>A: "I'll always be there for you and keep you safe even if it upheaves the tenants of reality..."
>J: "That's so fucking sweet, dude but it -really- doesn't answer my question."
>Ja: "Dudes."
>You and Jackie both look to Janna
>Ja: "How about -I- just respect the sanctity of you guy's relationship. Jackie accepts that Anon literally can't -not- love his friends and one day we all hook up when Jackie's ready for that threesome?"
>Your heart stops
>J: "Fine."
>Jackie starts your bike
>BROOOOMMMMM
>J: "No free rides until I get his first time tho."
>A: "Until you get w-"
>BRORRRRUUUUUUMMM!

Boom, of course it's a waiting game. I'm aware it's a waiting game, fuck having Janna do this dumb path when she could be on our Micheal Bay tier explosive ride.

>>2502310
Probably because we offered her witchy power as a nice gift.

One that was not beholden to us.

Maybe she does not want to ask peeps for nice things. Scratch that.

Even if she hated doing this there is no way she would ask for the helps.

>>2502314
Yeah, which is why I'm interested in looking into speaking with the Horned dude. Then punching him if he's a dick bag and forcing him under our domain so Janna can get the essence without needing to suck his weird goat balls.

That or finding out how to give our powers away as well and just skipping the middle man and letting her use a portion of the Hole's power herself.

>>2502310
>>2502314
My main concern is if helping her would make her happier in the end, and I genuinely don't think so.
I don't wanna say she wants things to be hard, but I feel she would rather it be this way as opposed to owing anyone favors.

Just tell Janna what we know about her having to duck for power, tell her we wouldnt have offered if we knew that part. Ask her why she wants to do bad things then ask her if she would like some options.

>>2502121
I would be for slapping the shit out of some goat dude. I mean, I imagine the sex thing is just some demon power fantasy thing, and there’s basically no actual need for it, so we just visit him, tell him to give Janna power like a normal person and not some sort of weird demon goat pervert, and threaten to have Muscles beat him into a bloody stain if he refuses.

Strong arming gods into giving power to out friends invites retribution.

Retribution that will go through our friends first.

>>2502346

Nigger, remember we killed Satan and a literal goddamn concept of the universe that cheated like a motherfucker. Something like a demon goat isn't that much in comparison

>>2502321
And do you really think Janna would be OK with us interfering with her shit.

>>2502326
So you think Janna can't handle it, are offering her a way out cause you think she is to weak?
I really
REALLY don't know about that Anon.
All i'm saying is leave the punch stabbing to after we know what both parties want.
Remember back in the day when we were oh sooo sure Janna was sick and need a place to stay, but it turned out she was just being her? I feel like this is the same situation but with grander consequences, and while it might turn out differently, please keep in mind this might ACTUALLY be what she wants.

>>2502337
>Horned God is just another meme god like Omni and not a spooky eldric being
That would be very disappointing, but knowing this quest very likely.

>>2502346
>Retribution
HAHAHAHA
Implying anyone her would care about that?
Implying Anon would care
Nah if we get on this train there will be no stopping it, which is way I wanna make 100% sure we won't be stepping on Janna's toes by doing it.
Imagine, all that god murder
Just for her to be mad at us.

>>2502357
No, I just want to offer her more options. That's all.

>>2502357
>>2502386
Pretty much, I don't see it as interfering if it means cutting down on a whole bunch of fuck nasty steps so she can finally cast a level 3 fireball.

>>2502346
Yeah, uh, demon goat can fucking try it. We made a wand out of one of his race’s fucking hearts. We made his prince our bitch, and beat the shit out of his king. We’d probably make worse enemies then him on a walk in the park.

>>2502390
Yeah, I’d agree. Don’t really see any reason to enslave him or whatever, but taking a half hour out of our day to visit some demon goat and make sure he doesn’t try and make Janna sleep her way into power would barely inconvenience us. He can still make her work for the power or whatever, so she feels a sense of accomplishment, but we can just make sure he doesn’t try and pull any weird sex shit with her.

>>2502386
I can get behind that, just let's not jump the gun on anything beatings till we have the full picture.

>>2502390
Not sure if you've notice but Janna is all about the fuck nasty.
Don't take the fuck nasty away from her cause you don't approve of the fuck nasty.
Not unless she tells us otherwise.

Oh yeah, I’m going to laugh if this is Lekhmet’s weird hobby or something. He is a pretty satanic looking goat dude.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>2502462
Oh shit, that's right! He's still alive in this story

>>2502548
For now.

Could Jannas struggle come not from having to take goat dick, but rather from having to rely on another for power? She lives in the woods in a shack of her own making. She wants to be able to stand in her own, and now with power in her grasp it comes with the ultimate price tag, her self reliance.

The irony is she has the Psionic gift, she has a well of power that is 100% her own beef.

>offer Janna the psionic route...somehow...maybe ask dirt brother.

Going the easy road to power isnt good. Janna becoming a psionic rogue is the path thats harder and less flashy, but it 100% aligns with her ideals.

>>2502873
THIS, OFFER THE PATH OF THE JEDI BULLSHIT, or Sith, if you want to be technical.

>>2502873
Thats a good point. Let her develop her own powers rather then depend on others.

Here's a crazy thought. Maybe instead of panicking at the first sign of adversity and instantly pawning Janna off to someone else, we just stop for a second and think. Maybe gather a bit of information. Try to fully figure out Janna's current struggles rather than assume them based on the minimal information we already have. Maybe read the fine print of what having The Horned One as your patron entails rather than just assuming "GOAT DICK! That's all we need to know this was a mistake!" because right now we're flying blind and giving out major knee jerk reactions. And knee jerk reactions are what got us into this mess in the first place. We just saw "hey witchy lady! Janna likes witchy things! Let's make her the lady's apprentice!" without really thinking about the details beyond "now Janna will have witch powers, neat."

>>2502945
This is good plan yes.

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A finale.

>>2502945
Thank you for the assistance.


>You lay in your bed for a few hours
>Just breathing
>You could still head out
>Your phone even buzzes with a few reminders
>Homework
>A text from Alphonzo about "Getting Gyros"
>A text from JUSTIN AW YEAH about "Slammin' some Gys, Brah."
>You ignore it
>Your mind is abuzz
>When the door knocks
>thrice

A: "What?"
W: "My Lort. A vord?"

https://youtu.be/ZTmAmR14AaM?list=PLBRu9siBOXC2RtiJV5A8DKG5VTRB_VFWi

A: "Say 'wuh'"
W: "Wuh?"
A: "Now say -Wuh- -Ord- "
W: "Wuh...Ord."
A: "Now say word."
W: "Vord."
A: "Come in. Goddamn sock puppet of cultural denigration."
>Your door opens
>From the top
>With a mechanical hand pushing it the size of a man's chest
O: "HELLO!"
>Olson
>The towering mechanical creation of your minion
>He's huge
>Nearly solid metal
>With some unknown energy keeping his gears at a constant honey bee hum
>He's also a simpleton
A: "Who taught your big ass how to use the stairs?"
>Wondervon, the diminutive man at Olson's ankles clears his throat
W: "Zere is a dead half of a man in my lab."
A: "...oh! OH right! The murders."
>You hop off your bed
>Star for a snark then...
>Remember Marco
>How he looked at you
>How it felt watching him crumble from your sass
>Wondervon isn't even a friend
>You push him any more and he might look for a pound of flesh

>L: "He'd never get it out of you."

A: "It's not me I need to protect."

cont

File: 250px-Mole_man.jpg (27 KB, 250x314)

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>>2503122

A: "Wondy."
W: "Y-yes?"
A: "I got a lot on my plate...but I'm a glutton."
W: "For punishment? I'd agree."
A: "Well who ASKED Y-"
>You pause
>Clench your human fist
>Muscles curls behind your back as if he had no elbow joints
>Massages your shoulders until you relax

A: "I want to help you."
W: "...Zet me free."
A: "No."
W: "Zet my zon free?"
A: "No. He's cute, huge and dangerous."
W: "He needz Zstructure."
A: "I'm offering an OLIVE BRANCH. Wondervon."
W: "..."
A: "Not the whole tree."
L: "Good poise. Strong analogy."
W: "Iz She going to be coaching you our entire converzation?"
A: "We clearly don't understand each other."
W: "No. I feel I underztand you perfectly fine."
A: "Oh?"
>Wondervon steps away from the doorstep
>Clearly not wanting to set you off by advancing
W: "Zhall we talk in my lab?"
A: "Sure."

>You and Wondy are almost the same height
>If not for his prodigious GIRTH
>The smell
>The wrinkled pale skin
>You'd mistake him for a child yourself
>His shoulders wobble as he walks
>His breath comes if pug-like gasps and grunts
>Yet never ceases

W: "You are not zeh firszt tyrant to crave my expertize. Not even zeh firzt to kidnap me."
A: "So you got a history of picking bad fights and having to make deals?"
W: "I am vereh olt, my lord. My people's lifez are longk. I have been zis smarht, und zis valuable to little empires for most of zat long life."
A: "So you think you'll escape me, eh?"
>You grin
A: "Man what a fuckin' waste that'll be."
W: "I vill outlive you."
>You stop
>Wondervon stops
A: "You're willing to just...wait?"
W: "Yes."
A: "Spend the entirety of what could be MY very long life...waiting?"
W: "Yah."
A: "Even with all the-"
W: "Zeh indigniteh? Of course."
>You glare at him for the impudence
>Suck some of your breakfast (the only meal you consistently eat) from your jagged teeth
>You made up your mind to talk
>Not smear him
>He seems to know that
>So he's pushing you
A: "Why?"
>You turn away
>Head further down
>You don't take the bait
>You've dealt with taunting before
>With traps in conversation
>Wondervon's smart
>Dangerously so
>He doesn't know the first thing about people's emotio-
W: "Because I love my son."
>Oh
>You pause at the basement door
>You don't even look back at him
>You're suddenly in a very small space with a creature you didn't think to find
>Not after losing contact with Marco's parents anyways
>Anon
>It seems you have a good father in your employ

I wonder how he'll waste this one.

cont

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>>2503124
>>2503124


>You push into the lab
>Sure enough
>Susan and the bois just slapped that corpse down onto a table

W: "Zis place is a stye regardless but zis? Zis I need handelt. If you vant me to fix zis place I need METAL. I need tools!"
>Wondervon swoons, having lost his train of thought in memory
W: "Ach! My olt lab...my SANCTUARY! I mizz it zo."
A: "Is it still out there?"
W: "No. No it vas destroyed before I even took my Zon off to Purrabia."
A: "By whom?"
W: "I-..."
>Wondervon's goggle-lenses zoom in on you
>Like he has trouble discerning the intent behind your expression
>Which is dead slate
>Guarded
>The same one you give all dads
W: "By a battle-lort. A creature by the lame of LOOZAR. My lab rivaled the magical towerzh of any wizard...but the only way to reach it now would be getting beneath zeh War Planet's Grand Colosseum."
A: "I assume it's one nonstop fight-fest?"
W: "Indeet."
A: "Fist fuckery and fuck fistering galore?"
W: "Ya."
A: "Magic?"
W: "No magic. Onleh steel und flesh may compete."
A: "Steel and flesh huh?"
W: "Grand tournaments ztart vit teamsh of three."
A: "Start?"
W: "No team has ever made it to zeh final rounds visout losing two of zere members...Zeh last one ztanding is the winner. The Champ...and RULER of Var Planet."

A: "Lakes of blood. Punch murder?"
>You roll your neck
A: "That's two of our fetishes."
>Muscles quivers
>Gives a thumbs up
>Then RAMS himself into the lower holes of your rotten torso
>He yanks the inner tendons with his claws
>Making the arms point upward in celebration

O: "YAy! Puppets!"

A: "What -am- I gonna do with this guy? He's useless as a zombie..."
L: "The ritual used for Susan was a mess. Now I can show you one of my finest works, darling. To restore forms. The return life to unliving."

A: "Sick."
L: "Most assuredly."
A: "When can we start?"
L: "I don't know...and am about to be furious."
>The fact Luna never stopped smiling while she said that
>Makes your reaction feel a bit off
A: "A-...are you ok?"
>It hurts your throat to say that to her
L: "No...because that particular spell."
>She smiles
>With full teeth
L: "It's missing."
A: "Mom..."
L: "It's been plucked from my mind."
>You clench Muscles so hard his fingers burst out of your puppet's chest
>You float
>Start heading for the door
>Something's wrong with your mother
L: "Anonymous."
A: "Yes."
L: "Who was it, dear?"

>Luna's smile never fades
>Her eyes however
>Along with the moonlight outside in the empty sky
>Turn black

L: "Who was last that touched my book?"


MEGA SESSION!

END!

>The chill day write in shall be done tomorrow
>Wondervon's got a lab
>With a sick violent quest hook

>He loves his boy
>Something's wrong with that dead book

https://youtu.be/uKnInAqz4qQ


Stay blesst
love, Quest

>>2503134
Oh. Well, time for Ludo to die.

>>2503140
Glossaryck was the last one to touch the book, not Ludo.

>>2503155
I realize this now

>>2503140
Death is too easy.
Ludo will suffer.

File: [Nani Intensifies].gif (183 KB, 245x245)

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>>2503134
AH!

I see why Wondervon was so mesmerized by Anon's scissors, such a magical device would allow him to go back to his lab without having to deal with the whole fuckery going up there.
>I say we can use the scissors to go back to his lab and get what we can. We might also be able to get some new allies... or enemies... in the surface.


Regarding Janna... I don't like seeing her like this. I don't want her do do something she doesn't want to do just for the sake of becoming stronger. We can help her get the power she wants. Not give it to her, but show her a different way. Perhaps humans CAN be given the gift of magic? If we didn't inherently have it it means Luna gave it to us. if we did, it means we can find a way to make humans adept at magic, though it might involve messing with their soul/DNA.
>Either way, we should get Jackie to help us. She has known her for much longer than us and can help us convince her this isn't the best for her.

And Marco... FUCK.
I fucking hate what we did to Marco. I known that Luna doesn't care about him at all, but I do, and Jackie might night like seeing us become a prick like we said we wouldn't do.
I don't know why we didn't told him the truth. We already enacted our revenge on him by getting on with Jackie, so this is way past the point of cruelty. Star is too dumb to see how hurt he really was.
>We should apologize/tell him the truth/ talk things out.

Mkay, so there's four things in my head that stand out in my head based on what we've been shown in the past few sessions.

Listing in importance-
>Who fuckin took Mama's spells
-It was Glossy, he fucked with the book when he changed it into the gem for our wand. We'll need to talk with Star about that or see if Omni, Hek or any of the other council have any ideas about that.
>Bird for Brains
Fucking... Just absolutely destroy the shitstain that is Ludo.
>Janna and the goat dick
Gather info, ask Luna what the Admin is, she has no reason to withhold that kind of info. Speak with Martha about what her deal with the Forest Spirit thing is, have a talk with the Spirit itself if need be. I'd like to avoid involving Jackie until we know about the spirit, she wouldn't stand by while her friend's doing super shady stuff like shooting heroin. Jackie is the key though for getting Janna to go on another path because she'd just see Anon's help as meddling or some kind of barrier. I'd prefer if we found a way to instead sponsor her ourselves or do psionics. Find out just what Janna means by Bad Things, see if Jackie has noticed her acting strange.
>Marco's butt
We need to apologize and fix it.

>>2503134
By all points of view, Glossaryck has been the last person to not only have touched the book, but also one of the people to have done some magic with it. Who's to say he didn't conveniently erase some bits of the book out of existence in the midst of transforming it into the gem?

We also gave it to Alabaster, but he gave us that spell that lets us go Zero Gravity, and was even willing to give us spells like Presence Of the King and Take The Strings. While I might not be too surprised if it turned out he actually did something with the book, I have my doubts, since Alabaster has done absolutely nothing wrong to us ever.

Surprisingly, I don't think Ludo's touched the page. Though this is going strictly off the presumption that she already knows he ravaged the book, and wouldn't ask a question she already knows the answer to unless she's pop-quizzing us, but something about he expicitly expressing that this is annoying her tells me this ain't no damn pop quiz.

And then there's supposedly Hekapoo, but to my knowledge she legit did absolutely nothing with it.

Currently, my order of suspicion is Glossaryck>Alabaster>Hekapoo>Ludo. Though if it turn out that Luna wasn't entirely aware of what pages were exactly taken from her by Ludo, then it immediately jumps to Ludo=Glossaryck>Alabaster>Hekapoo

Just my two cents.

>Gloss is a SMART dude.

a REALLY smart dude.

I am want to ASK him why he did it, and I am willing to ask him what he wants to return it.

File: Who touched my gun.png (1.23 MB, 1920x1080)

1.23 MB PNG

>>2503134
>L: "Who was last that touched my book?"
Welp, RIP Glossaryck. He touched our stuff. When we trusted him not to.

>>2503281
I don’t mind asking him why he took it, and if he’d be willing to return it, but we’re not going to DO anything for him to make him return it. If he refuses to return what he’s taken peacefully we’re going to do things TO him to make him return it.

File: addams-family.jpg (239 KB, 825x464)

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SESSION START!

>Snap
>Snap

https://youtu.be/cfawtDT945o

>You're memey and you're loopy
>Mysterious?
>More Kooky
>Your mom and really spooky
>You are Anonymous


A: "Fuck me."
L: "Oh we're not nearly far along enough for that."

>You'd never have described yourself as multi-faceted
>Mainly because you don't use words like that
>They're fluffy
>Soft

A: "I can't do this."

>You're a boy of extremes
>Simplistic but extremely convicted ideals
>Contradicting ideals
>Mismatched goals
>Yet still
>Everything you want you've wanted so bad you'd do anything to get it

>Power?
>You've become a warped caricature of the human figure to attain that
>Have a symbiotic relationship with one of your newly sentient limbs to keep strength


>Family?
>You took risks the likes of which no sane person ever would
>All for a mother's love

L: "Isn't this exciting?"
A: "I'm gonna shit on them."
L: "...perhaps you should elaborate."
A: "I-I shit on everything. Fuck."
L: "You're not being metaphorical."
>She's right
>Luna
>Man, she's right pretty often
>Your adopted mom
>Also your warlock style tentacle patron from another dimension
>She's openly admitted to having annihilated civilizations
>Powdered souls for their essence
>One time she made someone suck dick for bus fare
>Then made him walk
>You think
>Luna's bed time stories get hazy

cont

File: IaUevkf.png (153 KB, 500x374)

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>>2512521
>>2512521

>Either way both you and the avatar of madness/tiny hats are in your bedroom
>Luna's posed atop your dresser

L: "So glad you decided to take me along, darling."

>Trying on outfits summoned from an unknown source
>Admiring her eight inch high, somewhat rounded frame in the mirror

>You're in your underwear
>Because tonight

>TONIGHT
>You have an important meeting
>A meeting with your girlfriend's parents

>You have no idea what the fuck you are doing
>You are nude-ish
>Luna is your designated guest
>Your mother from another brother (translator's note brother = universe)

>She's immensely powerful
>Also from a medieval society versed in magic

L: "How shall we arrive? Pillar of light? Shall we become a swarm of insects? Oh, I've been meaning to teach you that one."
>She's genuinely excited
>WHAM!
>whamBLAM!
>Your door just kicked down
>It's Susan
>Your loyal humongous Lanky minion
Su: "I GOTSH mah Dwess!"
>She's in a sun dress

L: "Lovely frills, dear."

>She also has her huge sword
>A few skeletons are behind her
>They are all wearing little bow ties

B: "bark! BOWAOOoOoooooO!"
>Except the one in the back
>Bow, your leaf covered lizard beast
>Is chewing him

>Bow has his own bow tie on his horns

What do?

CHARACTER SHEET

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1R66kWytq_Ar3zyEA8R05DYJT0NNJiYT5uKAD4OdFOY0/edit?usp=sharing

INVENTORY/JOURNAL

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pf0s8VrRef23OUoV6IiF9gtMG8hQkg1U3XKdEI3GScs/edit?usp=sharing

Let us feast.
love,
queast

>>2512524
Get dressed in some kinda suit, obviously with our trademarked copyrighted colors. Gotta look nice for the Tomas's.

>Check bow for his scratching problem
>ask Luna how she opened a hole from her world to ours and why we cant scissor portal here
>make a simple entrance, polite and gentle for the normal folks

File: S1E11_Glossaryck_2.jpg (725 KB, 1920x1080)

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>>2512524
haha seems I nearly forgot my own face.

What a rush.

>>2512551
Also
>wear kakhis, a button down and nice shoes. Impress Jackie by looking prep. We can also laugh about it later

>>2512521
Simple suit or dress clothes

We're seeing her parents. Not going to a un crisis meeting

>>2512524
So uh, dress ourselves up nice, and...not bring the skeletons and dinosaur, preferably?

File: 1524457392002.jpg (69 KB, 520x700)

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>>2512524
ASK JACKIE
how you should go arrive.

She has experience with being a normal human being, right?

I- kinda feel that Emily should be the one going... but she isn't here. Not that we told her.
Besides, bringing Ron would just complicate things.
Still....

Lets try to keep the outlandishness toned down for the moment.
We have ZERO fucking clue what Jackie's parents are and it might be unwise to punch them in the face with our fucking REALNESS.

Doesn't mean we have to lie.
Just.
Slowly ease them into our insane life.

>>2512524

Dress up like a good and proper boi. Also MAKE SURE TO ASK JACKIE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH JANNA. Gotta make sure she doesn't fuck a goat for a power boost

>>2512569
>and...not bring the skeletons and dinosaur, preferably?
Yeah, no, this seems like a good idea.

>>2512524
>Susan in a sundress
Adorable

Horse and buggy made out of skellies would be delightfully gothic

>Ask Jackie for advice
>Tell Luna we're going as "people"
>Tell Susan she can't come, she'll steal your girlfriend
>Tell Bow he's adorable

>>2512583

Speaking of Bow, we should give him a quick look over for the shit that's bothering him. Who knows what it could be, could kill him

>>2512524
Bow is NOT coming, what type of fag brings his pet to dinner?
Susan is NOT coming, im sorry but what type of loser brings his daughter/sister to dinner?

Now that we settled that, go and get FRESH and so CLEAN.
I want to learn the insects spell so that's hiw we'll arrive.

>>2512590
>I want to learn the insects spell so that's hiw we'll arrive.
Honestly I wanna learn that spell for the sake of knowing that spell. It's seems REALLY cool and handy in situations that aren't this.

>>2512524
Aren't those clothes that Luna fashioned us before we went ape shit in the school pretty decent? Still "Anon", but also kinda nice looking too... could probably at least button up the front and be semi-decent. Deodorant a must?
>gently, but firmly let the entourage down that they won't be attending. We have an invite for +1 only. Try to keep their spirits up for when we return the favor by inviting them to see our place (maaaaybe? If things go well?). Support checking bow as we remove his little bowtie.

>>2512524
Show up naked so we don't get blood on our clothes when we cruci-crush Jackie's parents

>>2512524
>Slacks
>Button up
>Take care of your god damn hair.
>Cologne
>Deodorant
>Brush teeth.

>Tell the skeletons they can chaufer.
>Tell bow he looks adorable and then Find a sitter for Bow. (mr fluffy bunny)
>He would not have fun at a boring adult dinner. Eating gross things like (a food he does not like). As well as talking about boring adult stuff. Like jobs. (If you can arrange a sitter for him do it.)
>Get Susan a sun hat.

>Compliment Luna.
>Tell her your nervous. About a lot of things.
>I am worried, but I believe we can do this.
>Lets go!

>>2512524
>>2512611
supporting

>>2512590
They're security escort, not dinner guests.

There may be assholes who wanna fuck with this

>>2512583
>>2512590
>>Tell Susan she can't come, she'll steal your girlfriend
Wow rude.
She's like our minion/sister/daughter.

Just tell them she's part of the family and eplain later.

REgarding how e should arrive.

Just knock on the door.
Regardin what we should wear.... Just ask Jackie.

>>2512524
LIterally
Just
call Jackie.

>>2512524

>>2512590
I want the Approach from this so we can learn insect spell

>>2512617
With the rest of this shit

File: download.jpg (10 KB, 192x262)

10 KB JPG

Rolled 1 (1d10)

A: "I've got it."
L: "You do?"
A: "I'll just kill her parents."
Su: "That hash literawwy sowved nothing evew."
A: "Can't make an ass of myself i-if I just kill everyone, right!?"
>Luna floats down from the dresser
>Susan approaches quickly to lower Muscles from your side
>Who has turned into a quivering, barbed harpoon
Su: "Put deh fwesh construct down, boss."
>You turn to her
Su: "I'm showe they'ww wove us. You'we a gweat guy."
A: "You can't come."

Su: "Say fucking WHAT, bich!?"
A: "Not you."
>You point at the skellies
A: "None of you."
>They all look at their feet dejectedly
>The one full of iron nails slowly disappears into the shadows, removing his bow tie while muttering ancient curses
A: "Not even you, Bow."
>Bow continues to pant
>Until you mentally impress the image of him staying here as you close the door
>Then he deflates
>Whines
>CRHAQCN!
>Smashes his solid rock skull into the actual solid rock wall
>You give him a once over
>Sure enough
>He's losing leaves where he's been scratching
>Oof
>That can't be good


>You turn to the group
A: "Listen. It's not that I-"
Su: "Yow're ashamed of us."
A: "Bi- I just said that I-"
Su: "Do youwe know how hawd it is to find dwesses that fit me!?"
A: "Susan."
Su: "I don't -have- Money, Anown."
A: "Jackie's parents a-"
Su: "I stowe this fow no WEASON!"
>Susan is marching off
>Head steaming

A: "...ok so the murder plan."
>Luna pulls on your shoestring
L: "Use your magic mirror, dear."
>She hands you your phone from the floor
L: "Just ask the girl how much she thinks they can handle."
A: "Here we go..."
L: "So, about that swarm of jittering insects."
A: "Aw fuck, they JITTER!?"

TEXT WITH JACKIE LYNN THOMAS

>A: "Hey."
>J: "Hey. Everything ok?"
>A: "Yeh I just uh...what do I like...do."
>J: "Do?"
>A: "What can I do to your parents that'll make them like me?"
>J: "Well, be on time for one dude. maybe like- bring something for my mom?"
>A: "What about your dad?"
>J: "All he likes is Hawaiian shirts and bowling."
>A: "How do you know that?"
>Jackie sends you PIC RELATED


>what ask?
>What say?

>Spooky and normal entrance have tied

BLEND THEM!

>How do you blend your spookiness with a normal family entrance?

>TEXT FROM EMILY MCMOOT

E: "Hey, sweetie. Happy Friday! (I think it's Friday there still) Any big plans? How's your magic project going?"
>Your life
>Your whole life is magic
>Except to your biological mom
>Apparently, it's like building a shed


ROLL 1D20 FOR THE SHOWER'S FUNCTION

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>2512693

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>2512693

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>2512693
GET IT BOI

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>2512693

File: tumblr_p720bcvLf31vjcb7vo1_540.jpg (42 KB, 540x625)

42 KB JPG

>>2512693
>>2512693

The very pic Jack sent you

>>2512693
Wondervon I b

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>2512693
Go go go!

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>2512693
>ROLL 1D20 FOR THE SHOWER'S FUNCTION
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UhtmrPLetY

>>2512693
>>2512705
Motherfucker, don't eat my post.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>2512693
>>2512705
>>2512712
And my laptop is retarded so I couldn't even roll

>>2512693
Probably a little beyond our means, but kicking up a thunderstorm right as we arrive looking all normal would be amusing. As far as the situation with Susan goes, maybe telepathically tell her that we aren’t ashamed of her, but that Jackie’s parents are normies (REEEEEEE), and need to be eased into stuff like dinosaurs and undead thralls.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>2512693
Check this 1

>>2512722
Maybe also tell her that we were asked for parents, not sisterdaughters or minions or pets.

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>>2512693
>E: "Hey, sweetie. Happy Friday! (I think it's Friday there still) Any big plans? How's your magic project going?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I CAN'T NOT WANT TO TAKE HER NOW

AND WHY WOULDN'T WE WANT SUSAN AND THE SKELETONS AND BOW TO COME

THEY ARE AS MUCH PART OF OUR LIFE AS LUNA IS

JUST GET REALLY GOOD PRESENTS FOR HER PARENTS AND THEY'LL ACCEPT OUR WEIRDNESS.


TELL JACKIE TO PLEASE EASE THEM UP INTO THINGS
DO HER PARENTS MIND PETS?
HOW ABOUT NECROMANCY?
LESBIANS?
ALCOHOLIC MOTHERS AND DESTROYERS OF CIVILIZATION?

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>2512693
>what ask?
I honestly have no other questions
>What say?
"Love you, see you soon."

>How do you blend your spookiness with a normal family entrance?
Knock on the door, but not be at the door, but the swoop in as insect swarm, then produce to hand over gifts we buy right fucking now. We need shirts and flowers.

>TEXT FROM EMILY MCMOOT
No.
save that for AFTER the dinner.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

Tell Susan that parents dont usually like when the suitor for their duaghter shows up with skeletons and another girl his age. We will take her out on a special date in that dress soon. Also mind poke Bow that we love him and he gets some extra play time if hes good.

>>2512731
Hey clodbottom, Jackie's parents asked for our parents, not our entire family.

>>2512734
>No.
>save that for AFTER the dinner.
agreed

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>2512693
Well shit, that did not go as expected. They could've come as an escort for drop off if they were that dead set.

well... if Luna can impart the insect thing... go with that.. portal in, summon/call the insects/pests that may be infesting the Thomas' garden or house and then either pied piper them through the portal we rode in on, or just use a mini inferno on them all. Creepy/spooky... but also helpful? kinda?

>>2512693
>How do we converse with people without yelling or crying?
>Ask what her mom likes? Dog treats?

>Arrive under the veil of an ominous thunderstorm

>Tell Emily we're going to spend the night with Jackie. Magic project is a work-in-progress.

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>>2512737
>>2512731
>>2512734
>>2512693
Alright. Alright.

Try to make Susan feel better. She cannot come now because Jackie's dinner is exclusively between us and our parents, that doesn't mean that she won't be able to come to a later bbq or such (as well as the skellies and Bow).
>Also compliment that cute sundress.

About Emily....
>Ask her what she's doing... and well... you know....
>She doesn't have to... but...

>>2512693
>>2512744
>Emily
Support informing Emily we're gonna be spending some time with Jackie. Leave out details, but that we're in a rush and we gotta look good. Get a quick mother's opinion on the ensemble as a courteousy, even if we just end up ignoring it.

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Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d10)

>>2512711
>>2512711

>PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>You lean down to stare upward at the shower head
>Brass
>Everything brass
A: "Jesus did he have to cannibalize the whole demon train I got him for this?"
>Last time you stepped in this thing it electrocuted you for a solid 30 minutes
>You didn't get out of course
>This time

>You stick your foot in a-
A: "AHAAAAAAHHHhhhoo! Oooh!"
>Hot
>Smooth flow
>Good pressure
>Just enough sting

A: "Time to get fresh."

https://youtu.be/UrGw_cOgwa8

>You swivel in the shower
A: "Man, I never make time for this."
>Muscles does not understand the purpose of the hot water without electricity
A: "So we don't die?"
>Muscles does not understand the purpose of anything where you can't possibly die
A: "Just chill, dude."
>Your sentient right arm shrugs then hands you the back scrubber
>You then proceed to not chill
>Not chill at ALL
>Your teeth are brushed twice
>Your hair slicked back

A: "Huh."
>That isn't a bad look for you
L: "What sort of outfit do you want, darling?"
A: "Uh...something nice? Real nice."
>Luna's thoughts and yours have intermingled to a small degree ever since you got your powers
>You can feel the tendrils from her emotions coil at the base of your brain stem
>They feel like butterflies
>Scraping your nerves
>Is she that excited?
>You hand over the images of what you'd like

>A pressed button down
>M-maybe shorts?
L: "Shorts aren't formal, darling."
A: "Do I take gifts?"
L: "That would be a question for -her- not I."
A: "What would -you- do?"
L: "Hm..."

>Luna sends an image of a battalion of armored soldiers
>Of several alien biological origins
>All of them are undead
>All of them carry a palanquin atop their stooped forms
>Striding in across the shattered bodies of a few select enemies of her hosts
>They eventually lower the carried throne down at the ruin of a once mighty fortress
>Which, at the wave of a hand is repaired
>Via the sacrifice of more of her host's still living enemies
>She is welcomed as a savior
>Hero
>Conquering goddess
>None of them have the wherewithal
>Or independence
>To question her worthyness

A: "Uh...maybe flowers."


>TEXT WITH JACKIE LYNN THOMAS

>A: "Flowers?"
>J: "Hah, try crystals."

>you know what you must do

cont

Should have brought fucking susan stupids.

>Dont ask Emily for advice.

>>2512875
Give jackie the dream crystal

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>>2512875


>You know what you must do

>First
>You and yours
>Not only does this night need to be perfect
>So
>do
>you

>A: "hey. Susan."
>You feel Susan's thoughts give you the cold shoulder
>A: "I know you're sad, ok? I do. A-...and your dress is super fucking cute. Like. I always wanted you to enjoy being alive and stuff like that. You deserve it!"
>Su: "..."
>A: "I'm not ashamed. I'm not. I just need this to go right. Jackie's parents cant' handle us yet. Not all of us. Plus, you're cooler than me. You might impress her parents too much and steal mah girl."
>Su: "Just say you'we sowwy, idiot."
>A: "...I'm sorry."
>HKRFKFKKFKKFKFFKFKFK
>You brace
>Your muscles clench
>Your eye twitches
>Su: "Ok. Sowwy for pwesuming."
>You're ok?
>Su: "See you water. You owe me some girlws names fwom yourw school fow dis."

>Now back to the evening
>It has to be perfect
>It has
>to be
>PERFECT

>You look at the text from your mom
A: "..."
>TEXT TO EMILY MCMOOT
>A: "I'll talk to you later."
>E: "Ok, sweetie! Hope I didn't wake you up. Be good!"
>A: "I'm gonna be over at Jackie's."
>E: "really? Wow. Wait, what does Jackie look like again? She's the little brunette who broke in once isn't she?"
>No
>No she is not
>A: "Jackie's blonde. Kinna tan. Bright blue/green eyes. Did she not meet you?"
>E: "no"
>E: "We never hung out much, did we?"

A: "No. We didn't."
>You mutter out loud
>You close the text

>You text Jackie
>A: "It's gotta be perfect."
>J: "Well that's like. Not a requirement."
>A: "You're a requirement."
>J: "?"
>A: "For my continued happiness."

>You emerge from the bathroom
>Wet
>Steamed
>Dribbling
>In a flash you're dressed!


>In a slick button up
>With nice slacks
>Some bright polished shoes

L: "You look marvelous, darling."
>Luna's holding her lips with a pair of fingers
>Her smile is soft for once
>Almost aghast
L: "So grown up."
>She is still eight inches high and seated atop your shoulder

A: "Let's rock."

cont

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>>2512914
>>2512914

https://youtu.be/ZHeLUVDYLIg


>MEANWHILE
>AT THE HOUSE OF JACKIE LYNN THOMAS

>The sky darkens over the lawn of a nondescript, innocent looking home
>An iron Fire-man ornament rests next to the mailbox
>A well tended flower garden trembles
>As the sky overhead begins to drool from it's grey cloudy haze
>Too a deep, nauseous purple

>LIGHTNING!
>KRAAAK!
>THUNDER!
>BrabAOOOOM!

>a rain drop hits the grass
>Then another
>Then a hundred
>Then a thousand
>Or rather
>They sound like rain

>shhreeedhdeeee
>They looked like rain
>It isn't

>From the sky above fall clouds of them
>Fat
>Squirming
>Skin undulating from unknown organic impulses
>Eyes black and brown and reflecting the well painted stucco of the suburban homes
>They collapse into a single spot
>Piling higher and higher


Until a small mountain of horrid, hand length maggots forms.


>Which rolls forward across the grass
>One of them, twitching out from the high pitched whistling mass
>Rings the doorbell

>DING
>DONG

>Then the mass forms
>Into you
A: "PHWAH! WHOAH!"
L: "Excellent first attempt, Anonymous. You even managed to keep your psyche intact."
A: "HAha! I'm a natural, baybay."

>You wait for a moment
>Knowing that any second the door will open and your magical evening will begin
>Any second
>Any
>se-
A: "I don't have the presents."

>FUCK

cont

-WHERE OPEN PORTALS FOR PARENT PRESENTS!?

-Jackie's Mom Likes crystals

>Open portal to Mewni
>Open portal to Quest Buy
>Open portal to deep in the earth


-Jackie's dad likes bowling and tropical shirts

>Open portal to Walmart
>Open portal to Hawaii (random tropical item)
>Open Portal to Bowling alley


Whichever you choose...ROLL FOR THEM BOTH!

2d20s!

>To see what you get


>Why are there two guys on motocycles over there?
>Watching you

Rolled 18, 3 = 21 (2d20)

>>2512919
THE DEEP EARTH AND HAWAII! WE GOT GOOD LUCK IN HAWAII!

Rolled 13, 13 = 26 (2d20)

>>2512919
>>Open portal to Mewni
Steal from Moon

>>Open portal to Hawaii (random tropical item)
[Shiny Intensifies]

Rolled 17, 14 = 31 (2d20)

>>2512919
>Open portal to Quest Buy
>Open portal to Walmart
Don't fail me now

Rolled 14, 19 = 33 (2d20)

>>2512919
>Open portal to Mewni
>Open Portal to Bowling alley

Rolled 7, 9 = 16 (2d20)

>>2512919
>Open portal to Quest Buy
>Also open portal to Quest Buy for some spoopy Hawaiian-styled shirt

Rolled 12, 4 = 16 (2d20)

>>2512919
>Open portal to deep in the earth
>Open portal to Hawaii (random tropical item)
I fully expect this to go wrong somehow
>Why are there two guys on motocycles over there?
>Watching you
Ignore them, they can't handle your magic swagger.

Rolled 18, 2 = 20 (2d20)

>>2512919
>Jackie's Mom Likes crystals
Mewni, we DON'T have time for Quest Buy

>Jackie's dad likes bowling and tropical shirts
Hawaii.
fucking hawaii...

>Why are there two guys on motocycles over there?
>Watching you
fuck..

Rolled 19, 19 = 38 (2d20)

>>2512919
>Mewni
>Hawaii
BIG MONEY COME ON

Rolled 5, 16 = 21 (2d20)

>>2512919
SHIT SHIT SHIT DONT PANIC YOU GOT THIS JUST GIVE IT A RIP AND A TWIST!

>Deep Earth
>Hawaii

Rolled 6, 9 = 15 (2d20)

>Open portal to Quest Buy
>Open portal to Hawaii (random tropical item)

Rolled 7, 9 = 16 (2d20)

>>2512919
Quest buy Hawaiian

>>2512919
>Mewni
>Hawaii
Hit me up wit dat six

Rolled 15, 3 = 18 (2d20)

>>2512919
Mewni and Hawaii. Here goes nothing.

Rolled 11, 20 = 31 (2d20)

>>2512919
portal to Mewni!
Lets steal the royal jewels!

also hawaii because AUTHENTIC HAWAIIAN SHIRT

Rolled 1, 17 = 18 (2d20)

>>2512975

>>2512919
>Portal to Quest Buy for some beneficial actually magic crystal.
>Portal to Bowling Alley.

Mind Read the bikers.

>>2512985
Good point, we should mind read the suits

Rolled 5, 13 = 18 (2d20)

>>2512919
Deep earth and quest buy

Also minds must be read

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Rolled 9 (1d10)

A re-roll for the father's gift.

May we all be blesst.


>As you fumble with your portals
>Your phone goes off

>TEXT FROM JACKIE LYNN THOMAS
J: "Dad's coming. Put on your cool face."

>She's sent you an image
>Pic related

>>2513013
STRESS LEVELS HAVE SKY ROCKETED. MAINTAIN COMPOSURE WITH WILL!

Also is this the part where we reroll or use the above.?

>>2513013
OH GOD LUNA PLEASE A SPELL TO STOP TIME, WHAT THE FUCK WHERE WE THINKING

WE CAN'T BUY GIFTS FIVE SECONDS AFTER RINGING THE DOOR BELL