>>3569636
>That's not a Talwar! It's an Ōdachi!
AKA
>sword

>>3569636
>sword

>>3569636
>THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF FEAR IN THE FORM OF A STICK

>>3569636
Our penis, the mighty Mjollnir.

>>3569701
tfw forgot what my dick is

>>3569701
This

>>3569696
Shillelagh ftw

>>3569673
>>3569692

>>3569696
>>3569719

>>3569701
>>3569717

Ugh, whats that thing in my pants? Wasn't it called a sword or something? Didn't someone called it the stick of thrashing?

Oh yeah, a Penis! That's what it was called.

>Still, what the fuck was this thing in my hand?

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>>3569743
The mighty keyboard,
the manifestion of all of 4chan!

>>3569743
Still shillelagh

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>>3569755
Alright, lets compromise.
>The Keyblade, the best of both worlds!

Although admittedly, sword and (key)board would probably be more fitting, if we were allowed two weapons.

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Oh yeah, I remember now! It’s a Sword! Why the fuck do I have a sword? Wait, why did I just hear Great Grandpa’s voice?

Wait, now that I look around the other guys have weapons as well. I can see a Spear, a Bow, and a Shield. Now that I look into it a little more they all kind of look kind of similar.

“Now come Heroes of the legendary weapons, come forth and let me introduce King Aultcray Melromarc XXXII King of Melcromarc!” That robed man who was talking announced.

With a sudden shift the crowd started moving forward. I could feel the weight of my PC shifting from side to side. Oh yeah, I was returning from a LAN party with a bunch of my fellow degenerates.

Within moments we were in a throne room, a noble looking man sitting on a nice throne. Since he was a King, everyone bowed to him with respect before he raised his hand.

“The Legendary Heroes may stand. I am humbled to be within your presence since your summoning. Please, tell us your names.” With a show of his hand he pointed towards us.

The one who held the spear, his face a lady killer’s spoke first, “Names Motoyasu Kitamura, I’m a Third Year Chem Major from Tokyo University.”

The one who held a bow spoke next, “Itsuki, Senior in Highschool.”

>Everyone turned to me waiting for my response. Sorry guys, my head just hurts.

#A^* &E&*!): !N^*#)^$

>>3569755
Raccoons have an average litter size if 3-5 by using our mad hacking skills to use the [incest_off] command we by having our infant offspring kill rats with knives can quickly have a large breeding stock of demi-humans which will grow exponentially. In no time at all we will have an ever growing army of Smol raccoon girls which we will send as horde infantry to attack villages. The survivors will grow stronger as the locals are massacred, with the strongest amoung them claiming the bulk of the men and using the women and children to grind for exp.

>>3569927
Why would we use them as infantry when we can just have orgies all day?

>>3569921
>"Fuck yeah! I have a sword!"
"Ma name's Jim Borris from the South Carolina Church of Carolina, nice to meet ya all in our lord an savior Christ's name!

>>3569974
based and sacred
we're also a raccoon breeder expert, and we problematically call them 'coons!

>>3569927
>>3569974
>>3569986
just take all my support. take it all.

>>3569986
>>3569996
Thanks y'all!

>>3569974
Sure why not. As long as we make sure to regularly reward our raccoon girls with sex they will remain loyal. After all, just because we’re the sword hero, doesn’t mean that’s our most effective weapon. Our cock is still the most effective weapon, as we have 47 women in South Carolina currently trying to track us down for child support. We’re basically the picture of trailer park Chad.

>>3569974
>>3570001
Yes. Raccoon Girl battle harem army go! Don’t care for the redneck part but it’s kind of funny to imagine a Chad escaping child support in an isekai

We can worry about raccoon girl army later. For now I want Jim Borris, southern Christian man as our name

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Coon girl origies. Yeah, that sounds- WAIT WHY THE FUCK AM I THINKING THAT! I would never touch Daniel like that!

I am a good Christian! In the name of the Lord why am I having these thoughts! Great Grandfather was a promiscuous one! Wait, have I ever met Great Grandpa Jim?

I couldn’t help but smile now, now I ‘member who I am, “I’m Jim Borris Jr. of the South Carolina Baptist Church. I’m a coon breeder as me hobby. In the name of the good Lord nice to meet ya!”

Everyone looked at me like I was a little coco, but I’m used to it. They always say look at ol’ Borris and his coons. Man, I hope Sally will do fine while I’m with this King fellow.

The King guy looked hit hard when I introduced myself. He seemed to roll with the flow just fine though, “Thank you for introducing youselves. If you-”


“Hey!” For a moment some Chinese looking fellow introduced himself, callin himself Naofuckme. Now that I think about it, two out of the four of us guys are fucking Chinese. The last guy has a funny sounding name, so he might be one as well!

The King fellow nodded, “Thank you, boy. It has been a week since the Waves of Calamity ravaged my lands, as they will the entire world. You each will need to forge a party to fight with you against these waves.”

I could hear someone pipe up about why couldn’t we fight together, but something just popped up infront of me.

Legendary Weapons repulse each other, denying EXP to all if they fight together.

Huh, now those are some weird words you don’t ever hear unless your playin Runescape.

The king nodded, “Though you may forge your parties on your own, I have a selection of adventurers and Knights tomorrow if you wait here a night. So I beckon you to stay a night to receive them and your War Funds.”

>Should I stay here? I'd like to go find Janny if I can.

>>3570027
You are the fucking best QM

>>3570027
Sure, might as well see what the king has to offer.

>>3570027
>stay

>>3570027
ABSOLUTELY BASED
>Stay. Maybe try ta make casual conversation with them orient- Erm, Asian 'mericans. Sorry, things weren't none too tolerant back home, but you try.That college boy with the big stick looked cool.

>>3570027
Stick around, immediately start knocking up the local women. To practice for our coon girl orgy.

>>3570044
+1

>>3570044
this
>>3570047
Nah brah we gotta save it for the coons. Can't be wasting it on some random hoes

>>3570027
>see what info you can find on the local coons, they must be all wacky and foreign like

>>3570027
>FIND A BUSH TO TAKE A DUMP IN, WE'RE ABOUT 2 HOURS AFTER EATING GRANNY'S FOOTBAWL CHILI AND IT KICKS LIKE AN ANGRY COUGAR FROM HELL

>>3570027
>Take a massive shit before going to the libury to learn about the local coons
>It's a shame you had to leave them critters behind, you had a reputation for breeding the feistiest fighting coons in the south

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>>3570044
Supporting
>Maybe these Chinese children didn't drink enough milk or somethin. Remember some trucker told me that those Chinks lack toes, which you can only get from milk. Made sense since milkmen always had extra of em.

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Yeah, I agree I think I should stay. Though why do I keep thinkin about Coon Girls? I only seen dem in them weird orinental books Jimmy showed me.

“Yeah, I’m up for it Kingy.” I say with a gilded smile.

The other, ahem, Asians agree with me. Ah Great Grandpa Jim would be so happy seen ‘em, after he shoot them for being dirty Japs. The King points to some of them fancy dressed fellows, sayin they’ll show us to our rooms.

We start to walk somewhere, so I make my way to the fellow with the big stick. I think it was called a spear, “Hey there Moto, how’s it goin?”

“Hm?” The boi looked a little uncomfortable, “Oh I’m doing fine. Its like we are in a VRMMO.”

“VR-wha? Is it like dem nentendos the kids always play?”

“Y-yeah. Those.” He scurried off to where the Bow Boi was standin.

‘Em fancy bois showed us to a fancy room. They got a nice steamin batch of meat waitin for us as we walk in.

“We will be back to pick you all up tomorrow. For day, Heroes, you should rest up and strategize.”

I was bout to walk in, till I felt something kick my tummy. Oh Lord, Granny Smith’s Chili from the Boi’s LAN party is kickin in!

I quickly went to shit meself in their shitter. Damn thing was nice.

I made it back to dem Bois talkin bout their Games. Bois never seemed to play Call of Duty or Runescape. Sissies. Foods good though.

>Should I talk to them or head to somwhere. What you guys thinkin?

God. This went an entirely different direction then I intended.

>>3570090
>Ask them all about how their crazy Japanese VRMMO shit works, since if it’s like shield hero, they will each be convinced that the MMO they are familiar with is how the world works and the only way that it works. If we absorb all their power leveling and grinding strategies now, we will become King Supreme Breeder of the Coon Girl Army. Also we will use the confederate flag for it because we’re redneck.

>>3570090
>Eat that steak lookin stuff in the middle and pile on the potatoes and butter.

>>3570090
Its magic QM
>talk to them
>"So y'all think this is a game? Well then, what kind of game of what difficulty would it be?"

If its Darksouls difficulty, fuck this game

>>3570090
>Ask that Earopean King to get you some of the maddest, meanest coons money can buy, if he thinks that a some schmuck wearing buket bits is tough he hasn't seen a proper Carolina Coon, thankfully it won't be too long till he gets to

>>3570090
dig in, just made room after all.

Generally try to figure out some more about these fellers, maybe talk about where we're all from? And what we know about this place here, we still don't know a thing do we.

>>3570090
It's going so good.
>>3570097
this but also
>You reco-nize a lot from Runescape. maybe there's a bunch a unchristian gold farmers and scammers here too. Mention them. Thankfully, you don't speak Mexican.

>>3570111
Thinking about it aren't there always those fucking Chinese hackers and gold farmers?

>>3570090
“God. This went an entirely different direction then I intended”.

Welcome to /qst/.

I’m probably gonna be the sane voice keeping everyone else from fucking raccoon girls while we have to SAVE THE WORLD

>>3570138
Agree on that one

Also,
>talk to those oriental people. They know how those veeare things work

>>3570138
But fucking coons is how we are going to save the world, we will use our gifts of coon breeding to breed the alpha coon, a living weapon that causes whole nations to tremble in fear.

>>3570138
Honestly I just want to fuck with the other heroes by talking about breeding coons to sell them, and literally buy raccoon slaves and call them coons.

What did OP want, anyway? A bit curious.

>>3570138
fag

>>3570151
He wants love
thats what he wants

>>3570138
I'm definitely full steam ahead on the coon-girl army. But this is meta knowledge we don't really have yet, we don't even know what a demi human is, let alone how exploitable they are.

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Ugh, my head hurts a little. Why do I keep thinkin bout dat Coon girl army. But lookin at dat nice roast there, I should stay ‘ere.

I take a seat next to dat spear boi, he lookin at me weirdly before sayin, “Hey, uh, what are you doing here?”


I coughed a little into me hand to clear de throat, “Well, I gotta ask ye somethin bout how ye bois grind in ya games.”

Dem bois seem to like meh more after I got dem talkin. Grandma Folton always say, ‘Good food means Good People’. I miss ol’ Grandma Folton, gal died fightin a bear.

Anyway, I learn they games the bois play had different farmin tactics. A lot realllly. Even Shield Boi got into our chat as we chatted. Funny though, everyone was in a differnt world. At least the US of A is in two of dem.

“Wha ya say bout difficulty anywhozeers?”

Spear Boi Looked like he was thinkin for a second, “The game was popular, but everyone agrees the Devs were shit. They threw so much into the world we were still finding stuff under rocks when I ended up here.”

I saw dat bow boi noddin, Shield boi looked a bit out of his water.

I smiled, “Well then, any you fellows know bout Coons in ya games?”

They looked at me for a second before runnin for the door, “Well its about time we head to sleep. They said just chose any room in the hallway.”

With dat the two bois left. Shield boi shrugged and went out, leavin me with a eaten roast. Ders a little meat left so may-be I could get a Coon like that fellow in my head keeps wanting.

>Go to bed or maybe head out to find a Coon.

Just the direction caught me off.

>>3570160
Hopefully there are some form of dire raccoons that we can domesticate as mounts to build cavalry units.

>>3570166
This is hysterical.
>Go to bed

>>3570166
>Go to sleep, dreaming of coons talking to us in our dreams

>>3570166
Go to bed. Everyone knows we need to get money and assistance from the king before we go off to get a quality starter herd of coon girls. We need money to feed and equip them, and a reliable source of income before we can breed them and create an army of half redneck half coon girls.

>>3570166
>Go get some snares up, it's coon trappin time

>>3570166
>go out and test the sword
>"I sure am excited about this one! Granda Jim >sure got me a beautiful looking gal! Can't wait to t>est it out."

I don't really get how the shield boi was mistreated in the original, like aren't shields supposed to be great defensive and offensive tools if you use them right?

>>3570184
>>3570183
support. first things first.

>>3570166
Jim knows the reinforcement techniques from here: https://shield-hero.fandom.com/wiki/Legendary_Weapons/Web_Novel

This means if Jim actively works at it his weapon should be stronger than anyone else's, since lets be honest they didn't listen to one another. Once you guys start working on weapon versions though I will record that. I should have a character sheet ready by tomorrow.

>>3570188
Basically it's retards being retarded. Half the reason why shield-mang gets treated as a literal hortler is because about 90% of the population is made of retards. The other half is is plot.

>>3570197
We've got a spy here!

>>3570198
Makes sense,
because I would've went for the shield
like they are literal teenagers who never got martial training
a shield is their best bet

>>3570184
Support. Jim Borris must be a dumbass who invested most of his character creation points into his cock and fertility. And also animal handling, with a specialty in coons. Wisdom was definitely his dump stat since he’s on the hook for child support for nearly 50 children back home.

>>3570184
+1

>>3570197
>Weapon Synthesis Allows the user to transfer special abilities from one weapon to another. new weapons can be unlocked using it. The amount of syntheses that can be performed depends on the weapon.
How do we use this to get a sawed off shotgun which will give us a stupidly high proficiency because we know how to use it in real life

>>3570214
Depends. Would Jim borris, raccoon wrangler and christian man, know how to make a double barreled shotgun?

>>3570222
I sure know I do! Ya chop off da barrel from a shotty!

>>3570166
It begins >>3570184
I have the perfect method for generating funds, one as old as the southern sunrise. Moonshine. We in dem medieval times so we don have to worry about some brass getting up in our business for making the strong stuff. By allowing our goods to be purchased with minerals we can also use tempering to strengthen our weapon.

>>3570235
I like your style anon. Think we can also brew up other boozes as well?

>>3570235
Noice

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Ugh, I need to go get some sleep, eh? Tomorrow I get me some bucks and I can see bout gettin some Coons.

I walked to my room, though I got an ich to hit somethin, so I sliced a table. Boi the damn thing got wasted! I love this thing!

I walked into me room, throwin off all but me undies before headin to the knocker.

Next thin I know I’m in dat throne room again. Thought I was sleep walkin, but everyones here. Huh, must have forgot the mornin already.

The Kingy Guy got up with some fancy lookin people with him, “As I said before, these adventurers were handpicked to join you on your adventures. And now they will choose you.”

That said, ‘em people started approachin us. I watched as de got behind either the Bow or Spear guy. They all looked at one nother and then me like dey were surprise.

>What? Am I too man for dem or something? What you say voices in my head, should I complain?

>>3570235
>>3570238
>>3570241

I like what you bois are thinkin.

>>3570250
>go with the spear dude but erge the shield guy with you
No seriously why TF is the shield guy alone? The shield is one of the most decent weapons

>>3570238
If we started fucking around with alchemy we could have magical trailer meth in no time.

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>>3570259
Yeah boi

>>3570250
>Don't worry bout nothin shield boi, we don need them, I got big plans

>>3570267
well yeah, but feel a bit uncomfotable leaving that guy, who knows what kind of monster and a menace he'll turn out to be?

>>3570250
>"When'de'fuk did this there turn into one o'them car ads where'de car picks theire rider and nut the o'ter way round?"
then
>>3570267

we should keep the shield boi close,
got a bad feeling about that kid
gotta look at what he does

>>3570250
This >>3570273
and
>Ya'll seem to know to know lot more bout' this place then I dow, they aint any of those there hobitzits here or nothin right?
>Try to see what information you can get about this weird ass country
He seems like one of them there godless boys with their feedoras and their Logan Pauls, but underneath that funk there is the startin of a proper man, all you have to do is steer him in the right direction

>>3570250
guys we can't really team up with shield hero for much, we both lose all XP for fighting together.

>Complain about it so we get more money

>>3570298
Makes sense but we should keep an eye for him
after all he was the ex protagonist
He's a threat to the nation

>>3570298
Seconding, this is good

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"When'de'fuk did this there turn into one o'them car ads where'de car picks theire rider and nut the o'ter way round?"

“Yeah?” Shield Boi said, “How come we got noone?!”

The King sighed, “My apoligise, Jim…. Shield Hero. Is there anyone who would like to join either of these heroes.”

Dem Adventurs looked at each other for a momen. Poor Shield Boi was getting sad, but then I noticed a nice lookin gal come to him, “I’ll join the Shield Hero’s Party.”

“Hey, what about Jim?” Oh such a kind soul.

I walked over to the boi and nudged him in the rib, “Don' worry bout nothin shield boi, I don need any ‘em, I got big plans.”

The boi’s face lit. Ah it feels good to be doin the Lord’s duty. I turn to the King Boi, “Ya'll seem to know a’lot more bout' this place then I dow, they aint any of those there hobitzits here or nothin right? I wanna find em.”

The King seemed to think for a moment, “I understand Jim, I can give you a guide for the city so you will not get lost.” He turned to everyone, “As the Sword and the Shield were not chosen by our warriors, we shall give them more War Funds. 1000 Silver for the Sword and 800 for the Shield.”

I received a nice bag of jiggly coin. Oh boi, what can I buy with this.

The King stood up, “Now go forth, Heroes, and save our world!”

As dem people were headin out, a scrawny guy came to me, “Hello Mr. Jim. I have been tasked with leading you through the city. Where do you wish to go first?”

>Oh boi, time to head to the big city now! Watch me go Earl!

Well tomorrow will be your guy's shopping day. I'll be updating through the day when I can but for now I think I should sleep.

>>3570138
I'm honestly just shitposting even if we are supposed to be insane. It might bizarrely work out and make us look like a mad genius of some sort.

>>3570313
I'd say let's grab a couple traps of the catching animal variety and not catching anon variety. Maybe some leather armor that we can move around in with ease.

>>3570313
>get some wood and red paint with some white clothes

Have we forgot our original purpose?
We got to spread the love and Jesus Christ our lord and savior
lets atleast have a few crosses to honor him if we're not going to preach!

Oh, and go crazy on thing you wanna buy. You essentially have enough Silver to outright buy a two story house.

>>3570325
Don't worry yer heart out Anon. This is the perfect time to get the stuff fer that.

>>3570333
Can we buy a Two-Story Raccoon Waifu?

>>3570313
>Where can I find coons and coon related accessories?

>>3570313
This >>3570347
We must find and buy as many coons as possible

>>3570333
All we need is a bunch of nails, wood and tarps and we will have our own redneck mansion

>>3570313
>>3570333

Seems like an awfully small budget for saving the world.

>>3570313
>get the necessary materials to honor Jesus Christ such as red paint, wood, and white and black cloth
>buy the materials neccesaryfor sweet moonshine production
>buy a base of operation for further actions, preferabley a medium sized basement
"Ma papa told me that moonshine is one of the best creations of man kind! I'm gonna sell it to the good people of this town and perhaps let this city full of filthy unbelievers know about Jesus christ!"

>>3570166
>Just the direction caught me off.
You picked a mainstream title in its anime form, and MC literally couldn't even figure out what the weapon in his hand was.

I wouldn't expect anyone to take this seriously.

>>3570363
We take the action of spreading our lord and saviors word seriously!

>>3570363
We take Moonshine and breeding 'coons seriously.

>>3570370
Well that too

this is a fully blessed quest
i can't wait until we hire coon catchers to go to the northern forest and wrangle more
we'll also need a plantation for that moonshine

>>3570374
And spread the love of Jesus Christ in the process!

>>3570378
communion moonshine

>>3570379
YES

>>3570313
>Pay some guy to make some tunnels outside the city, you always wanted to live in dirty tunells, just like your great great grandpappy did during the war
>While he's doing that have everything you need for moonshine set for delivery to your new hole
>Finish off the shopping trip with purchasing coons and coon related accessories
We will be living in a dirty hole, but that dirty hole will have all the space we need for moonshine production and coon breeding with ample opportunities for expansion

>>3570438
Support

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We walked out into the bright lit world, and everythin looked like some fantasie thing. I must say it looks epic voices. I try to remember all you told me, an now I geev him me list.

He scratchin his head, “Moonshine equipment? You also want some live Monster traps I assume?”

“Yeah I taken ‘em traps. I thinkin I heard dem Mooshine equipment came from ‘em Al-ke-mest.”

The man nodded in his understanding of my new mission, “We should also get you some armor and maybe a backup weapon. If the hero wishes to dabble in Alchemy however I will not stop him.”

With that, we he’d over to this small shop shop with fancy shit all over it. The man at the table thing was old enough to be meh Grandpa, so I should respect him.

He spoke like him to, “Welcome to Apotheke, may I ask what you need?”

I told ‘im I need a distiler and shit. Old guy butted in and got me the who’ll shbang. I mean there was Morter an’ Pestles, test tubes, and the distiller with some book I can’t read.

“That will all come to 75 silver, Sword Hero.”

Ipayed him me Silver, but as I was reachin for me stuff dat sword began to glow. I messed with it for a moment, an’s the Damn thing ate my distiller!

Sword Unlocked: Distiller Sword

The old guy said I should do it for all my equipment, so I did.

Sword Unlocked: Morter and Pestile

Sword Unlocked: Test Tube Sword

New Recipes added

Swords Fused: Sword Unlocked: Apothecary’s Sword

I messed with it for another moment an’ it turned into me tools! I mean they look awsome all gold and shit now!

With that we headed out. We got everythin, and I threw some more shit in it. Hell, he even got meh armor.

Sword Unlocked: Animal Capturing Sword, Wood Sword, Christ Sword.

I got 700 Silver now.

>”Mr. Jim. since we are carrying a lot of stuff maybe we should get you a mount and wagon.” Do I? I mean, a wagon sounds nice.

>>3570438
>>3570507

He also said this was a stupid idea since Alcohol is totally legal. WWOOOOOOOOO!

>>3570689
>I'm mutha fookin polymorthing sword, fuck wagons!

>>3570689
>I don't need one for very long so might as well just rent a really chep one for a few days to help get everything set up
>Might as well pick up some mining tools too, there could be gold in them hills

>>3570689
See if we can eat the wagon with our sword, get increased carrying capacity or some shit. Gotta have a way to carry all our moon shine and other illicit goods

We need to buy wood with red paint!

>>3570689
>>3570784
Get some wheels and shitty wood to build a cheap wagon too large to ever be conceivably be pulled by an animal in any practical fashion, then absorb it.

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“Eh, I just need meself a nice wagon.” I say with confidence, “An I’m gonna build it meself!”

The old man looked at me like I grew nana’s tumor, before sighin. With that he took me to the wood place, and I got some equipment together and wood. Hell, I got some new swords too!

>Sword Unlocked: Carpenter's Sword, Oak Sword (Increases Carpentry skill)

With that we headed outside. Old man said he wanted to buy us a bird thing, so I told him to fuck off.

Hehe, Now I’m back in my element. Outside in the wilderness with nothing but the clothes on me back. This sword is damn awsome though, fockin thing turns from hammer to saw almost at my thought! Hell, since I’m using it its unlocked a skill called ‘Auto Carpenter’ meanin I can have my sword make stuff for me!

Either way, I got me wagon. Now like the voice said, I jammed it into Swordy!

>Traveler’s Sword Unlocked (Increase Carry Weight)

Ahh, now I can sleep in twent for the night!

I woke up to the sounds of russlin and bussilin from town. Seems everyones up in a tissy over somethin.

>Should I head over, start huntin for coons, or go farmin for mobies?

>>3570847
Carpent some crosses
"Granpda Jim always told me to have a symbol of our lord near me!"

>>3570864
Okay, I made me crosses!

Heres what I have: https://docs.google.com/document/d/136Cr86QVR6ZdWMqUGEimop9qYhIxDVrCjx_d1yrJpws
Be sure to read through it since I will soon not be recoding all the swords you received. You also got some fun abilities like Deus lo Vult that you can learn the effect of later.

>>3570873
noice

>>3570847
>Carpent some sharpened throwing crosses to throw at those nasty critters. There is no greater weapon then the mercy of Christ
We Castlvania now

>>3570930
this.
also head over when we finish, \might see a good ol' fashion mob

I tried to make some Christian Throwing Stars, but when I went to throw one of them I felt a jolt in my arm. It was like when I pissed on Uncle Charlie’s electric fence, and the next moment it was gone. Suddenly some weird red thing popped up infront of me.

>You have committed a violation according to the Genora Convention. You are not allowed to equip any weapon other than the Legendary Sword.

Damn thing! You go against the will of Christ! Oh when I figure out how to fock you up…

Either way, I made me way to the town. There was a group of people listen to rishly robed guy, kind of looked like a glorified father.

He was yelling at the top of his lungs, “I hereby announce that the Shield Hero has commited Rape against one of his party members, a girl named Myne. Though he should be executed based on our laws, the King has graciously allowed him to walk free so he may fight in the waves. Be wary of the Shield Hero people of our faith, the Three Heros! He is the…”

Meh, seems like a bunch of hogwash ‘em democrats always yelling about. Kid didn’t seems anywhere close to cousin Wallace to fuck that girl. Heh, betcha he was still a virgin.

>Seems theres no real mob, so maybe I should head out, eh? What should I do while I’m at it?

>>3571155
Our lord Jesus told us to help our neighbors, we know that shield boi is vergin and innocent. We should try to locate the shield boi and figure out why somebody tried to frame a nobody like him!

>>3571155
This reminds me of when old Levi shot a nice black man in the head once, for havin' relations with his daughter. Maybe somethin's up. Don't think anyone named Naofuckme or whatever shieldboi would do this.

>>3571155
>Don know if any one has thought of this but, has anyone actually checked her hymen to see if she's been deflowered? Y'all seem to be jumpin to conclusions without whole lota checkin

>>3571155
>Ask if the town doctor has done some checkin
>Offer to do some alcamikal testin on on his gravy if they can find a sample on her meybe this magic gombldegook can find out if it's the same as a sample fresh from the tap

>>3571155
>I don't know how things happen round here but were ah come from you can't go round makin accusations thout proof, less you want to end up a dead man
>Now sir don't you go running your mouth unless you have more than words to back it up. We wouldn't want to have ourselves an issue, would we?
>Crack your knuckles

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>>3570847
>no onahole
Bros...

You guys are fockin right! THe Good Lord always said you treat others the way YOU wanna be treated. I mean, the Fockin guy has a stupid lookin cross on ‘im. He’s no Holy Man!

But I need to meet with Shield Boi, get the lay of the situation! I set off!

…

Well, took me about two hours, but I caught the boi walkin his way striat to the gate. Since I see ‘em, I called out, “Hey Naofuckme! Cum over ‘ere!”

The boi turned to face me, “You? What the fuck do you want? Even the American wants to accuse me!” He was fumin at the mouth like a rabid Coon.

“Nah, ‘ust comin to talk. I can tell ya didn’ do it, you don’ ‘ave the fock in ya.” I say happily.

He stared at me for a second, “Should I be insulted or thankful?”

“Both Naofuckme.”

“Its Naofumi.”

“Alrite, Naofume.”

“...”

I gave a laugh at his sorry ass, “Don’ worry though, you endin up like Trump and the Drive by Media. I’ll pass an people ‘ill know you can’ fock a thin. Betch they didn' even checkin her, like that poor black fellow.”

I patted him on the back in reassurance.

“Okay, you weird American. Just, okay.”

>Anything else I should say or do witht he boy voices in my head, or leave and do somethin else.

>Why were they sayin you raped that there girl? Is she trying to get some of that child serport that uncle bob has to do?

>>3571471
+1

>>3571471
+1

>>3571456
Kek this >>3571471
>Ah get you are in a situation riagiht now, and if you need anytang jus ahsk. These weird jew weapons may stop us for getting eexp(pronounced eeks-pee) when we get too close but I think you and could get a nice little moonshine and coon breeding operation started.
As long as we keep our space when grinding there is nothing saying we can't gather every once and a while to exchange goods, I think he will be our first business partner.

“Heh, so you know why that gal would say ya raped her? Is she trying to get some of that child serport that uncle bob has to do?”

Shield Boi shook his head while makin a little distance, “I don’t know why. Fuck if she was trying to get child support, that be too stupid.” The kid seemed a bit confused.

I laughed a little mor, “yu’re in a situation riagiht now, and if you need anytang jus ahsk. These weird jew weapons may stop us for getting eeeeee.x.p. when we get too close, but I think you and me could get a nice little moonshine and coon breeding operation started. Maybe trade some good stuff next time we see another.”

The boi loooked at me weirdly before nodding, “I guess. Just… I need to head out for now.” With that the Boi walked away into de crowds.

>Time to be headin out I guess Voices. Whatcha say I do then?

>>3571919
>Begin searching for coon dealers, they had some in the Carolinas, sure they weren't as good as yours but it at least meant your coons didn't end up like the kid that your brother had with your cousin.

>start on the moonshine operation before we start dealing with coons. The more money we have, the more you can do with the coons

>>3571919
+1
>sell it in Christ's name with the cross

>>3570000
Holy shit a quad

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Yeah, y’all are right! If I don’ start now I’ll never get me Moonshine rollin!

I made a short trip to town, got some big distiller an some ingrediants. Spen’ 50 Silver, bu’ I got it all! I move out of town sinc’ I don’ trust ‘em people now. As I walkin in my natural environment (Forest), I found these funny yellow thins. Fockers came at me like little dogs!

I focked ‘em up though. Somthin’ said I level 2 now, but I also got a place for me operation.

I set up a small table, mix ‘em wheat an’ shit good. Now I gotta wait a day though, but I found ‘em ballonies kept fuckin with me. So I focked ‘em up! No one gonna touch my Moonshine!

Level up: Level 3

Also while I was movin aroun’, I saw some nice grass. An you know, shit was dem ingrediants for me drugs! I got ‘nough to make some shit if I wanna.

Medical ingredients acquired.

I was lookin though, I thinkin there might be Coon in these lands. I saw 'em's shit.

>Nights comin though, what should me do?

>>3571919
Go look fer varmints n critters ta kill. The state had a bounty an’ open huntin year round fer killin critters like nutria rats, wild hogs, an feral turkeys. If’n we’s gonna make money, we do it outta town an transport their pelts with our transport sword. This’ll get us the starting money to start a proper coon breeding ranch.

>>3572040
>>3572037
Go huntin fer stuff ta kill an eat. Can’t trust no city slicker health inspectors or FDA gubmint types, only wut we manages to kill or grow our own damn self.

>>3572040
>>3572045
Its our world boys
no more restrictions from the damn feds
we can do whatever we want to do, just like christ intended

The character sheet also said we can make shitty meth, so let’s improve ourselves to make good meth.

The good shit, like Keith’s meth! Without the blood out of offices and permanent coma obviously

>>3572040
Support.

>>3572037
Ya know, this 'ere sword thing don't take na damage, can jus use da thing all day on shit, like trees fer lumber. Just need an ox.

Eh, either way gonna need to spend a few hours killing things to make a good place to nap anyway. Better get murdering the local wildlife and feeding portions to the sword.

File: Usapil_1.png (2.16 MB, 1920x1080)

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Wait, you bois are ‘ight! Fockin hell ya, thank the Lord! Free range killin!

I wen’ a’ound killin all them bastards I could see. Ballonies for dayz. After an hour I startin seein wabbits, so I sliced ‘em’s head off and colllect ‘ems pelts and meat. I needin to stay near me Moonshine thouh, so I didn’ go too far.

Any ways, me got some new Swords!

Swords Unlocked: Balloon Sword, Usapil Sword, Game Hunter’s Sword,

By the time I looked up, it was mornin. Damn I was tired, so I wen’ over to me Moonshine and took a nap.

…

Seems to be Noon now, I’m roastin a nice wabbit meat. Damn things were stuffed with de shit. Already got me Moonshine proccessin an’ shit. Though I tinkered with em ‘Alchemist tools’ to make meh some Meth. I made only ‘nough for one fockin dose, but I guess wabbit nuts didn’ work very well.

New Recipes: Minor Steroid (Testosterone)

Added to Invetory: Shitty Meth (One Dose), Minor Steroid (Testosterone) (Three Doses), Minor Healing Potion (Two Doses), High Quality Moonshine (Low Supply)

>Meat came out better ‘an expectin and Moonshine is done.

Also seems I got a Month till de 'Wave. Thinkin I can let this week go by like this if y'all wantin.

We can do a timeskip if you all want. It'll be a week of these shenanigans and whatever you suggest. We will pop up to whatever status changing thing happens.

>>3572508
>Generally hunt for wild animals and collect several pelts for sale. Put all your doses of testosterone with blended badger testicles, if you can't use badgers use the balls of the angriest animal you can currently find. In addition to hunting set up several live traps with the extra meat and see if you can get yourself a coon. From time to time make a batch of high quality moonshine.
We should really try to spend this week maximizing our industry to get excess funds for our coon breeding operation. We may even have enough extra cash lying around to upgrade our alchemy sword in order to increase production of high quality moonshine.

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>>3572526
Support.
I present to you the future form of our first coon!

I think we need to make a monster truck.

An so I went through da week. I mainly been Workin on Killin these animals and makin more drugs. Turns out dem fisty little balls were an ingredient I could use.


>Minor Berserker Poison (Supply Very Low)


I also found that addin some weird herb made me steroids go faster.

>Minor Strength Potion (Low Supply)


Besides that I'd just been Killin a bunch of em wabbits and makin more shit. Cool thin is I was able to get me Moonshine up and runnin. Add in my supply of Drugs I've been making and we be going fine.


>Shitty Meth, Minor Health Potion, Steroids (Testosterone), Minor Stamina Potion (Supply Low)


I've been selling moonshine in town, everyon seemin to like it. Made me some pretty change for meself.


>200 Silver in profit


But now the funniest thin is happenin. As I was walkin home at night in town, some little.guy dressed like a carny came to me.


He was smiling, "So you are the Sword Hero? I heard you use to breed monsters back in your world, would you wanna look at my stock?"


>The Chubby guy seems little sketchy, but he's no uncle Earl. Maybe he has a Coon?

>>3572508
This >>3572526
>Give the mayor of this town a sample of your meth. Tell him you will give him a dose a day for 2 weeks if he can get you some exotic and high quality coons for cheap, or at the very least give you some reliable contacts to find dealers
Cocaine was completely legal up until the mid 20th century. There is literally no consequences for bribing the mayor with meth, and thanks to our alchemy sword upgrade the quality of said meth will be much higher.

>>3572816
>and thanks to our alchemy sword upgrade the quality of said meth will be much higher.
It's literally called shitty meth, you should wait a bit before jumping the gun on building a drug/coon empire.

>>3572811
>I am a Coon specialist, If ya got coons you got business

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>>3572819
Support.
As long as its not Raph.

>>3572816
Well this isn't exactly the mid 20th century
an alternate version we can call it
if the meth starts generating social problems they are probably start to regulate it

>>3572819
+1

Also found this dealing with coons as pets. Hope this is usefull for fluf.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.animalwised.com/racoons-as-pets-guidelines-and-tips-971.html%3famp=1

>>3572819
+1

>>3572862
Even if it is raph, that coon is still half human, we will treat her like a proper Christian would, or morman since we are definitely going to get more

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>>3572873
Eh just not intrested in her like at all. She worked for shield and all but othervise shes meh.

Besides we need someone more compatable with our MC like pic related. (Isnt she gteate! She likes clean stuf.)

>>3572869
We were literally the King of Carolina Coon fighting. The average coon is no problem for us.

>>3572879
True but for him to claim that title he actualy needs to know what hes doing.

>>3572811
>>3572819
suppoort

IT BEGINS.

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>>3572819
COON TIME BABY! YEE HAW!

I found meself walkin with the plump man to a weird lookin tent. The man showed his hands to a bunch of places.

“On your right you can see some of our monster eggs. Its a lottery of sorts, pay 100 silver for a random monster of value. From a Ballon to a Dragon, the chances are yours.”

“Mhm, but ‘ere are ya Coons?” Me chipped in.

He grew a dasterly smile, “They will be this way.”

He led me to a place with cages. There were a variety of monsters, many of who seemed to be small, almost childish. He showed his hand at a cage with-

“A COON!”

It was obviously young and a little more fisty, but it was definatly one.

“Yup, its called an Arisan. These guys don’t get much bigger, but are a in Demi-Human cities. I heard they were like Racoon Demi-Humans, and I put two and two together.”

“How many you got!?”

“Only the one. Apparently Fiolas see them as a nice meal.”

>I grew a nice size smile. I’m gonna buy it, but you guys think I should look into anythin else.

>>3573153
Might as well try the lottery. Who knows, we could get a coon maybe! Or just a monster we could kill and/or sell.

Lets not risk it, and just get a coon.
Also.
>are you saying them there coons are demihomans? Hell thats supposs to meen my bruther?

>>3573153
This >>3573192
>That bein said this here is one of the damn finest coons I have ever seen, I'll take your entire stock

>>3573153
lets try our hand in the lottery, we wouldn't be a proper redneck if we didn't

>>3573153
Where can I get some more? One coon girl ain’t anuff fer this stud to breed a herd with.

>>3573153
Yee go for the lottery
Let's get that onahole

>>3573352
Don’t. Just don’t

>>3573153
Boss! We need moar boyz for a real propa WAAGH! BUT WE NEEDZ MOAR OF THEM COINS FOR OURZ WAAGH! WE NEED TO GET OURSELVES SQUIGS N STUFF!

>>3573416
WE NEED TO FEED THEM COONS MEAT TO MAKE EM EVEN STRONGA.

“I’ll take ‘er, but I likin your thinkin.” I say to the man, “I wan’ a try at ‘em’s game.”

The plump man smiled, “Excellent, I will arrange for the Arisan to be taken to the Binding room. Though since you want to try at the gamble, we will go there first.”

We enterin the room, and the man gave me somthin to sing. I gave it my John Hancock, and we went over to the pit.

“Pick one my Hero.”

>Roll a d250

Rolled 73 (1d250)

>>3573447
Oh boy

>>3573401
Why not?

Rolled 41 (1d250)

>>3573447
Big bucke

Rolled 171 (1d250)

>>3573447

Rolled 93 (1d250)

>>3573450
Because using a coon as a onahole isn’t very respecting woman of you

>>3573490
They're not women or even human, they're demihuman onaholes.

Rolled 72 (1d250)

>>3573447
IT'S TIME!

>>3573490
Uh we're a redneck not a southern gentleman.

Though I guess we can still choose between loveable country boy and deliverance reenactor

>>3573500
Why not both!

Rolled 138 (1d250)

>>3573447

>>3573490
>Implying that our coongirl isn’t going to be the one to initiate and force us to make her our cocksleeve onahole breeding slut

>>3573494
>>3573494
Arisans they're not raccoon girls their literal raccoon monsters as in face of a raccoon and humanoid body in other words furry

>>3573500
Uh redneck gentleman or loveable deliverance reenactor

>Inb4 both again

>>3573513
Oops ment for>>3573505

>>3573512
bruh
OP can you confirm?

>>3573517
Not naturally.

>>3573525
Explain pls

>>3573525
They aren't even humanoid are they.

>>3573532
>>3573538
Alright I take it back, let's find something else to stick our dick into.

>>3573540
Even though we are definitely not going to fuck it we will still use it to breed dire coon cavalry once we find her a mate, hopefully we will have a nice and angry battle coon to trade with shield boy when we meet up again.

>>3573500
Bad logic anon. Disrespecting a woman Like that is a staple of southern gentlemen. Why did you think Americans are all mutts?

>>3573558
How the fuck are we going to find a mate? There's only one, and if we're going to catch one in the wild, why don't we do that from the start?

>>3573567
He clearly just doesn’t want us making competition since he heard we were gonna breed them.

>>3573567
I dunno maybe put a tray in her crate and collect some urine for leaving scent markings around. That in combination with plentiful spare meat in containers that can't be opened without opposable thumbs should make it appear as a very promising territory for a male. Once we let him get comfortable then we start setting out traps

>>3573567
Can arisans breed with other momsters?

If so we could make a raccoon chimera, imagine it, bear/snake/lizard/bird raccoon hybrids.

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“I pick, this one!” I pick up one of them eggs in the middle.

The plump man smiled a little, “Oh, thats an interesting one. I hope it grows up nicely for you.”

“Hope it does!”

We went over to the weird room he was talkin about. There was a nice size pan in the middle of the room with a person at it. The plump man had me dip a little blood into it, and then he startin painting it on both the Coon an the egg. The Coon seemed to mind, but the egg didn’ do a thin.

I askeed him what the stuff was. His reply was, “That is an Enslavement Slav. With its enchantments you will be able to enforce command on both your demons you have purchased with ease.”

He handed me the Coon, and she seemed fisty. The plump man just smiled before handin me the egg. Said that it’ll hatch in a week an wished me luck.

I headed out with me Coon, she won' really like me yet but she'll learn

>Now, what to name her and what should I do today? Its bout noon now.

>>3573733
Maybe get some food for it?

>>3573741
Got plenty of grain for her back home.

Yeah I wondered if I should have written that before.

>>3573733
>Enslavement Slav
AH NU CHEEKI BREEKI!
But seriously though, let's get something to eat.

What’s an appropriately named animal for a southern Christian coon breeder... any ideas?

>>3573814
Sarai? Sarah?

>>3573821
Crackers?

>>3573733
Name her Dolly
After our cousin who was known as the family bicycle

>>3573906
Support

I guess that coment about them not having humanoid form usaly means. Shes like Firo that needed some condition fufiled.

>>3573906
Support it like how we supported Jefferson Davis (God bless his soul).

>>3573906
God bless America and this post

>>3574046
Yes bless it. Granted Dolly was no cheap bicycle she was the good mountain bicycle with all the bells and whisles! Meaning in launguge we regular foke can understand she did not deal with junkies and gangsta wanabies. (Some even say she regulary get used by the local senator! How else would you explan her living in 5 room apartment in hig class hood and all that fancy designer stuff? Truly she is our famillys sucsees story.

>>3574068
Considering she was our cousin, did we get a family discount?

>>3574079
Yes. To make shure only with condom for family rule more aceptable. Shes a ho not stupid if she has a bably its gana be healthy baby no genetic defect from fucking family for het! (Being high class slut is hard work she should know. She spends a fourtoune on contraception alone.)

>>3574091
She’s a true entre-prenewer, I’d argue watching her rut was pivotal in our coon consummation corporation

>>3574099
True shes an inspiration to all. Granted while we gained inspiration from her grandpa was the one who taught us the craft. (Too bad he got killed by mafia for not wanting to share his seacret for compleatly domesticatin coons they wanted in the allmoust untaped coon market. You yourself only knew only half of the proces making mixed results when you started.)

>>3574111
Yea, was REALLY weird when dey got mad ad us fo’ “Havin’ mixed children wid ‘coons.” Ain’t know what a “mis-key-generation” is.

so when we gonna kill them jewish waves of disaster thingy.

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You guys are right! I’ll name ‘er after me star of a cousin Dolly! I watched as the little icons in me vision changed her name, which was Coon #1 to Dolly. All I could think was awsome.

We went over to a resteraunt, one of dem places I been sellin moonshine to. The bar tender looked a good bit sad I didn’ brin’ any, so I promise him a round of brew tomorrow.

Takin our seat an’ gettin some food, I place a plate in Dolly’s cage. She lookin at it for a second before pickin at it. Hmph, seems she doesn’ trust me yet.

We ate mes meals an’ wen’ back to de forest while killin some thin’s. I havin a good feelin its goin to be a good week.

>Anythin I should do this week?

>>3574279
>Keep up the hunting and spend some gold upgrading your alchemy sword, try to train Dolly to hunt, while you are at it keep an eye out for any weird mushrooms

>>3574297
Support

Hopefully she will live up on her namesake. World needs more bright minds that show that they can make it big.

>>3574279
>>3574297 This but also train Dolly to use a sword

>>3574567
No, train her to use a mace and shield. We have the edged damage covered we need to cover our open areas.
>>3574297
Supporting.

>>3574575
better yet train her to use the crosses we made and have a sneaky Cristian coon ninja

An so another week of me fightin went by. I kept on huntin, usin me Alchemy Sword to improve it. I mustin say, its goin funky now. It said these damn these:

Alchemy Sword III Unlocked: Ability Unlocked: Summon Potion
Sword Unlocked: Demon Trainer Sword

It was kind of funny when I use it. If I called forward that poison, it stole it from me pouch. Certainly focked the badgers I was killin.

In other news, Dolly has been growin nicely. She the size of a dog, which means she can carry a sword. It funny how she holds it in her mouth. Heh. maybe I’ll get her a few of me star latter.

Besides em I got some funky potions with some shrooms me new sword!

Minor Hullucingin (Impairment)
Shitty Meth raised to Shitty Meth+
Minor Speed Potion

Me Moonshine has been a hit! I’ve got bout 1000 Silver ever since me sword went into level two. I gotta say it was awsome!

As I was makin a new batch of Moonshine I felt a tug at me leg. Lookin down, I saw Dolly with a confused look on ‘er face.

“Yah, what is it dear?”

She seemed to look angry at me before pointin over at de ol’ egg, a massive crack righ through it. With a skip I ran over an watch me new boi hatch. Walkin over, I see a head popin out. Its a dog’s, a cute lookin one.

>Guy had jet black fur and an angry lookin face, but what breed was that?

>>3574596
Doberman. There's no more viciously loyal dog out there!

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I was going to have a little fun and make it this guy, but I thought you guys should chose.

>Tibetan Mastiff.

This is the one and only time I would vote.

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>>3574609
Was thinking about a big mutt like this bad boi, but a mastiff is good too.

This one is part dobermann, part great dane, part pitbull and who knows what else. Absolute unit.

>>3574609
Fucking supporting m8.

>>3574609
Suport
Thats a big'un.

>>3574609
Woulda got laughed at for having a dog made in China, but ain’t no China here.

>>3574609
>suport
small children beware

>>3574689
True that. I bet big boy will grow as big as a horse! (Gangsta Mount geto)

Anyways we should move and get some more fighting to lvl... So lets see wheres the closest river. Get some fishing in with Dolly and hunt monsters that come for a drink of water. (Who knows what ritches the river contains dolly mighy even find river clams to smash against rocks! Also shell sword or what ever...)

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I thinkin he lookin like one of dem Chinese dogs that get huge. As soon as the guy broke from egg he lookin at me with shinnin eyes. He walked little ways over, and gave me a liken. Dolly hissed at him a little as she was on me shoulder, but after a little pettin both she seem to give into the boy.

>Now, what should I name me little ball of fluff?

>>3574712
He looks like a Jesse to me

>>3574712
>Clif In honor of gramps. While cousin Dolly inspired us he taught us the craft of raising coons.

>>3574735
+1

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I thinkin he lookin like one of dem Chinese dogs that get huge. As soon as the guy broke from egg he lookin at me with shinnin eyes. He walked little ways over, and gave me a liken. Dolly hissed at him a little as she was on me shoulder, but after a little pettin both she seem to give into the boy.

>Now, what should I name me little ball of fluff?

“Cliff, the same as ol’ grampa, ‘ats gonna be ya name.”

“Arf arf”

The dog was happy as heck after recivin his name. Dolly in de other hand only wimpered a little at the boi’s happiness.

I picked her up, barely I must admit, and scruntched her chunky cheeks, “Don’ you thinkin I forgot ‘bout ya, Dolly!”

She seemin to relax a little at that, she bein easy to please recently. But damn she gettin bigger and bigger.

>Anythin I should do before we doin next time skippy! We got two week left an I'm level 16!

This is fucking amazing OP I love this quest

>>3575051
Look for stronger better enemies to beat up and train our coon also try to capture more coons.

Finally train dolly in the art of cross shuriken throwin' dolly's gonna be a christian raccoon ninja!

>>3575282
I'll be doin that me voice in the head.

>Anyone else got somethin you wan' me to do for the week?

Okay bois, after this time skip we are gonna have some real fights.

>>3575288
lets get something that can pull our wagon or else we're going to have to pull it ourselves

>>3575288
Also lets train with our sword so we don't fuck up during the waves

>>3575327
We gotta ta find someone who knows how ta sword fight. Bonus points if they can teach us to do it while plastered off our pretty fuckin ass!

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You guys are right! I just been swingin me sword around lik’ some machiete, I needin to learn de arts of swordsmansheep. So I wen’ to dem castle to see who I can fin’.

“Oh, its you again.” I found me the ol’ man who showin me aroun’ earlier. He been lookin at somethin in the glass when me found him, “And you’ve got a few companions too.”

“Mhmm! Meet Dolly the Coon an’ Cliff de Dog.” Dolly stood uprigh’ like a human, lookin all proper while Cliff gave a bark, “Now then, can ya tell me where me could fine some swordsperson.”

He lookin at me like I say somethin funny, “You require training? Hmm…” He be thinkin a momen before nodding, “Well I would need to pull some strings and see if I can find maybe a retired adventurer willing to teach you. It will take maybe a week to find someone, which I don’t know if we have.”

I gave ‘im a shrugg, “I don’ mind. Any is good to de voices.”

“Right…” He lookin thoughtful for a moment, “Well we were going to have you go next week, but you see we have a mission for you.”

He pull out de map with of dis country, pointin to a small place in to de south, “You see we have gotten word that there is a Dragon down there whos causing the locals trouble. It would be a boon to your prestige to slay a Dragon and maybe something for your sword.”

>Should I take it voices in me head?

An here be me stats for those who meiss 'em:

> https://docs.google.com/document/d/136Cr86QVR6ZdWMqUGEimop9qYhIxDVrCjx_d1yrJpws/edit?usp=sharing

>>3575419
Hell yeah

>Also if you agree mention things you wanna take. I imagine the Raccoon is going to have things like satchels and shit on her since she is literally the size of a large dog.

>>3575419
Yeah, we'd can kill the dragon after a bit of training. Maybe have that shield kid tag along and split the loot though. We don't have much help t-start with.

File: You wanna go at it?.jpg (21 KB, 680x413)

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“Hmm, alright ol’ man I’ll do it.”

“Excellent!” The Ol’ man seem to have years takin from his face, “I’ll be sure to tell the King you are on your way!” He ran of, leavin me de map. I grabbed it, an made me way to that pet shop. Place should have some harnesses for Dolly!

As I was walkin I made I caught sight of Shield Boi. He was showin some cashier somthin in his cloak, and since you suggested it I made me way over to ‘em.

“Shield Boi! Ya doin’ a’right?”

He turnin over to me in suprise, “Oh, its the American, and you got some pets?”

“Hehe, this here is Dolly the Coon an’ the one on ‘er head is Cliff the Dog.” Dolly stood herself like them fancy statues while Cliff just gave a bark.

I saw the boi’s eyes light up for a secon’, “These are your… pets?”

“Yup,” I say with a good cheer, “Got em from the pet shop. Actually, I’m on me way! You wanna go?”

He seemin thought for a secon’ before noddin, “Actually, yeah. They help you fight don’t they?”

“Hehe, yup! I train good ol’ Dolly with a sword!” I grabbed one and threw it to her, the girl grabbin it in her mouth.

Huh, I didn’ see a smile like that besides when Uncle Charlie ran from the cops, “Lead the way.”

…

We walkin into de pet shop, the chubby man lookin at us with a spark in ‘is eye, “Ah, welcome back Sword Hero, and you brought the Shield Hero of all people.” He walk up to the Boi, “I’ve heard about you from all the local Merchants. You are living up to the name.”

“I’m just here for a Pet. Something that can fight for me while I defend.”

The man grew a spark in ‘is eye, “Is that so?” He lookin over at me before noddin, “Sure, I think we can come to some arrangment. Though, I think I have something better than a mere monster and within your tiny budget.”

We lookin at one ‘nother, I just give ‘em a shrug. The Chubby Man took that and took us into the back, and man does it smell like Daniel’s shitty cattle barn in here!

‘ere are a bunch more ‘nimals in ‘ere. Soon dough I saw somethin in the cage, a Werewolf!

“We trade in slaves as well as Demons. I was thinking you two might be interested in Demi-Humans, people with animal like characteristics.”

I couldn’ hold meself, “Are there Coons!?”

“Yes there are, one in my stock. She is right over here.”

He took us to dees cages an brough out a weak lookin girl. She had ears that seem kind of like a Coon, but I say they lookin more like a bear’s. She stood ‘ere for a momen before he open his mouth.

“This girl is of the Racoon Demi-Human Race. She-”

“How much you want for her.” To me suprise, Shield Boi asked de question without a secon’ guess.

The plump man smiled, “For the Heroes, she costs 30 silver at the start.”

I could feel a stare comin from somwhere. It seemin lookin at de girl like she wanted to kill ‘er for some reason.

>Eh, she isn’t really my kin of Coon but its a girl Coon. I thin’ she is one of em Orinetal Coons, so should I get ‘er or wah?

>>3575609
>'Ow helathee i's shee? (Translation: How healthy is she?)
Don't want us or shield boi getting a lemon 'Coon. They don't taste so good.

>>3575629
I asked the man you's question, "She is sick as you can see, but this girl does not have anything terminal nor any STDs if you were wonderin. I say a little care by you heroes and she will easily recover." 'is smile never left 'is face.

>>3575637
"Oh," He realiz he forgoten something, "She suffers from night terrors. Mostly its just a scream and then shes done."

Yeah, forgot about that...

>>3575637
>>3575643
>'know were'we 'kin fine a hellar at 'dis 'our?

>>3575643
She de onlee 'coon yu haz?

>>3575654
"You know Sword hero," The plump man starin, "I didn't think you would bring the Shield with you. I'm just giving you two a chance to chat about it."

I lookin over at the Shield, an he's kneelin tryin to study the girl. I got a good feelin he'd take good care of 'er.

If you guys wanna break Cannon and take her fine by me, just means Naofumi gets Firo much earlier. Cannon wise Raph has been thrown around for only a week at most and has yet to meet the most abusive of her Masters.

If you are worried about not getting a Coon girl, don't worry. You will get one real soon. Real Spoiler: Almost like you already have her.

>>3575684
I'm roleplaying as us being concerned for a Coon's wellbeing since our dude really likes racoons enough to have it be a work occupation.

>>3575698
This! We love our ‘coons! Coonies never say die! Take her. Or ask naofuckme to take her since he’s probably an oriental expert

>>3575609
We should let the Shield Hero take her.

>>3575684
Coin flip. Since he ain’t got no coon girls we might as well check his lottery again. One of dem Chocopo lookin birds would be pretty nifty to haul all of our stuff.

>>3575684
Also, since Jim is of very questionable intelligence, would it be reasonable for him to buy a higher level monester slave for the explicit purpose of absorbing it into our sword?

>>3575609
>I'll take her

>>3575751
This could be good. Imagine getting a high level ability before even making the trip towards the dragons area.

“If you really wan’ her Shield Boi, you can ‘ave her.”

The Boi looked up to me from his kneelin, “Yeah, she just seems like she will do.”

“On ‘at,” I turn to the Plump Man, “You got anythin’ within 500 silver? Somethin ready for slaughterin?”

“Slaughter?” De Plump man lookin at me weird, “So you want something you can kill? Well let me see what I have.”

>Give me a roll 1d100

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3575848
Gib powerful daemon

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3575848
fug.jpg

>>3575751
Support, if we have the money to spare.

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3575848
Hell yeah, high level ability here we come.

>>3575848
Didn't refresh before posting. Oh well.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3575876
And my dice didn't work?

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“Hehehe,” The man gave us a dark chuckle, “You know I have come into contact with something very valuable.”

We walkin through the place, till we saw a chest. Damn thin seemin little odd though as it were covern in seals.

“Hehehe, you see I recently came across something very valuable my fair heroes.” He tappin the box, “Within this box is a fragment of the Dragon Emperor, something that all Dragons fight for.”

He brought it out an pointed at the paper, shit lookin like it was gonna fall off soon, “You see, I got this when a Magi blew up his old workshop, this thing is the only piece that was left. My issue is these seals were made by a powerful Magi, I can not replace them. And if they break, Dragons from miles away will come to Castle Town to get it.”

An then he pointen at me, “For 10 Gold (1000 out of your 1200 silver), I’ll let you have this. I need to get rid of it and theres not really anyone who can take it, heh, not even the royalty.”

>Do I take it, sounds verrrry important.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>3575899
I'm gonna make a cointoss on my choice.
1 for yes
2 for no

>>3575899
HELL YEAH ABSORB THE FUCKIN THANG. We gots plenty of moonshine and meth to sell. In fact, we should see if this man is willing to try our stimulants. Offer him some meth for free as a sampler. Imagine, if we get some dragon powers, we could start a harem of dragon girls to supplement our coon girl breeding.

>>3575906
>>3575899
Seems that it's a yes on my end.

>>3575899
>It souns like doin this'll be doing yeh more a faver then you me. Howe bout 4 gold?

>>3575919
I'll support this if we can get away with it.
If not then I'll revert to my original vote.

>>3575899
Absorb it. Waifu Tohru and Quetzlcoatl incoming.

>>3575899
take it
we'll make up for it with the moonshine

>>3575899
>Take it. Absorb it when you are high enought lvl.