>>5599624
Current Cabinet of the United States:

>President of the United States of America: Donald Trump (MISSING), Michael Flynn
>Vice President: VACANT
>Secretary of State: Brandon
>Secretary of the Treasury: Michael Flynn
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General:
>Secretary of the Interior: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Agriculture: VACANT
>Secretary of Commerce: VACANT
>Secretary of Labor: VACANT
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: VACANT
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: VACANT
>Secretary of Energy: VACANT
>Secretary of Education: VACANT
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: VACANT
>Secretary of Homeland Security: Hate-Monger
>Secretary of News: Zabihullah Mujahid
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: VACANT
>Director of National Intelligence: VACANT
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget: A Bunch of Random Cats
>National Security Advisor: Henry Kissinger

VACANT positions are free spots.

The main agenda today is the war against Disney. They’ve covered the entire state of Florida with a black smoke emanating from Disneyland, and have started sacrificing children in some unholy ritual. They’re even responsible for Donald going missing in the Destruction of Mar-A-Lago. You decided to send the army in to deal with the problem, and have just received the first reports of the initial combat. It’s not going well. The cloud covering Florida has meant that the Air Force is useless, and the ground units you sent in have been mauled by horrifying monsters in the shape of Mickey Mouse. Tanks are able to defeat them, but you don’t have enough, and without air support they’re easily flanked and can’t protect the other units. The troops are scared, and they’ve made minimal progress beyond the border with Georgia. What are you going to do?

>Pull the troops back. You’ll need to find another solution to the Disney problem.
>Call in more units. It’ll spread you thin with Biden’s forces waiting for an opportunity to strike, but you need to ensure whatever Disney’s doing doesn’t happen.
>Order the troops to keep at it. They’re suffering, but you need that territory taken for an assault on Disneyworld.

Additionally, in your last meeting you decided to expand your law enforcement divisions, the SCP Foundation and FBC, so you can better deal with the criminals who still support Biden. Expanding those organisations even more is going to require a lot of effort though, and you can’t do it all in one go. What aspect of their new powers do you want to focus on?

>Surveillance. They can’t act effectively if they don’t know everything there is to know about everyone in the country. People won’t be able to think without you knowing.
>Their equipment. You must militarise them. The army’s spread thin as it is, but with a more capable law enforcement you should quickly bring back order.
>Recruitment. Both have only a few thousand people working for them, most of them in administrative duties. You need much more than that to effectively pursue your goals across the country.

>>5599627
>Pull the troops back. You’ll need to find another solution to the Disney problem.
What we need is a single elite squad to sneak in and eliminate the leaderhip and interrupt their ritual. Some sort of... Suicide squad. Perhaps with a spunky clown-theme fraulein.
>Their equipment. You must militarise them. The army’s spread thin as it is, but with a more capable law enforcement you should quickly bring back order
Everyone should have lasers and panzerschokolade, ASAP.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>5599738
Also, whatever happened to the random ((elf)) from realms beyond this one? Does she have any insight into the anomaly?

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Rolled 91 (1d100)

Rolling for hivemind unity.

>>5599627
>Pull the troops back. You’ll need to find another solution to the Disney problem.
Tactical retreat!
>Their equipment. You must militarise them. The army’s spread thin as it is, but with a more capable law enforcement you should quickly bring back order.
These are good options, but this one sounds cool.

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>>5599792
We good, boys.

>>5599626
While the People of the Dis-United states are distracted by Disney, the IKEA Board of Directors are swift to steal the seat of Secretary of Labor for themselves. most likely to remove labor laws entirely to maximize profits

>>5599627
>Pull the troops back. You’ll need to find another solution to the Disney problem.
The other 2 options will leave us without a military, and that would encourage other nations to declare war on us to reestablish Joe Biden as president.
>Recruitment. Both have only a few thousand people working for them, most of them in administrative duties. You need much more than that to effectively pursue your goals across the country.
>>5599814
You wouldn't happen to have a store that is infinitely big on the inside, would you?

>>5600055
....yes

>>5600059
I see. (takes out voice recorder) The existence of anomaly 3008 has been confirmed. (puts voice recorder away)

What do I need to join this little circlejerk and get me back my Brandon? Fucker got confused while crossing Styx and went the wrong direction.

>>5600160
Pick an empty seat, or possess Mujahid since he has no actual player

>>5599626
1. >Secretary of News: Zabihullah Mujahid
2. Secretary of Transportation > Elon Musk
3. Secretary of Education > Florida Man
4. Director of National Intelligence > CONSULT THE STARS

dice+1d4

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>>5600187

>>5600174
Is Mujahid an AFK or just an NPC who could, theoretically speaking, be turned into ash?

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>5600198
I'm scared to roll.

>>5600202
The latter, last I checked. Towards the end of Thread , someone proposed him as a guy to fill that position as a joke. Kissinger is also an NPC, but more of a DMPC, so you probably need QM's permission to destroy him.

>>5600203
Welcome to the team, Herr Musk. I admire you and your family's work.

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>>5599738
>>5599792
In addition to the lasers, we should equip an elite portion of our force with the new and improved Neuralink. This will allow them to make up for their numbers by connecting them to the corps and, soon, our robotic K9 units.

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>>5599626
One uneventful evening Satan appeared in the seat of Secretary of News, claiming that Mujahid gave up his position.
He made a hard decision to get all the ugly women off the news and instead use the coombait presenters to make populace too busy staring at cleavage to question what's going on with Disney and where is Trump right now.

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Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>5599627
>Call in more units. It’ll spread you thin with Biden’s forces waiting for an opportunity to strike, but you need to ensure whatever Disney’s doing doesn’t happen.
>Order the troops to keep at it. They’re suffering, but you need that territory taken for an assault on Disneyworld.
We must take back Flordia from this Satanic cult! Keep at it boys!

>Recruitment. Both have only a few thousand people working for them, most of them in administrative duties. You need much more than that to effectively pursue your goals across the country.
We need bodies. We can give them our spare tanks afterwards.

I’ll see what I can do about Improving International Relations and PR.

>>5600160
Praise Trump as your lord and savior. Also, helping America with it’s International Relations and Image would be sweet.

>>5600219
Damn, that’s gonna be effective!

Going to need a tiebreak between the equipment and recruitment vote for the right wing death squads new cops. I'll roll in 30 mins if nobody votes.

Updated cabinet list:

>President of the United States of America: Donald Trump (MISSING), Michael Flynn
>Vice President: VACANT
>Secretary of State: Brandon
>Secretary of the Treasury: Michael Flynn
>Secretary of Defense: Michael Flynn
>Attorney General:
>Secretary of the Interior: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Agriculture: VACANT
>Secretary of Commerce: VACANT
>Secretary of Labor: The IKEA Board of Directors
>Secretary of Health and Human Services: VACANT
>Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dr. Jack Bright
>Secretary of Transportation: Elon Musk
>Secretary of Energy: VACANT
>Secretary of Education: VACANT
>Secretary of Veterans Affairs: VACANT
>Secretary of Homeland Security: Hate-Monger
>Secretary of News: SATAN
>White House Chief of Staff: Hate-Monger
>Ambassador to the United Nations: VACANT
>Director of National Intelligence: VACANT
>Director of the Office of Management and Budget: A Bunch of Random Cats
>National Security Advisor: Henry Kissinger

>>5600360
President Flynn tries to organise an address of the UN to promote his new government, but it seems like the UN is refusing to host him. Something about Biden being the legitimate president and the fact there's no UN Ambassador after Kanye disappeared. Guess they really liked his concerts.

>>5600204
Kissinger's just my way of forecasting new plot points or potential areas of interest. I don't mind if people try to get rid of him, but they should know that Jewish sorcery is no joke.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>5600669
1 = Equipment
2 = Recruitment

You decide to pull the troops back. You can’t sustain the losses you’re suffering out there, and to put more troops in will risk someone exploiting your temporary weakness. The troops are terrified, and even if you ordered them back in they’d probably revolt. No, you’ll have to come with another solution to Disney. But what?

>An elite assassination team. Small and quiet, they should be able to sneak in and disrupt whatever Disney’s doing.
>Nukes. Nothing like cleansing hellfire.
>A border wall with Florida. You must Contain the Disney menace.
>Dreamworks has approached you about a possible solution. Something about green ogres…
>Something else?

You also decide to focus on recruitment for the SCP Foundation and FBC. The best equipment in the world or the ability to see and know everything about the criminals you pursue will mean nothing if there isn’t enough manpower to deal with them. So you engage on a massive recruitment spree, for capable, healthy, patriotic American citizens that went to serve their country and Make America Great. There will be offices in every major state, enough manpower to deploy significant forces in every major city, legions of loyal citizens doing their part, and they will keep the citizens safe from the criminals and dissidents that would seek to disrupt this great country. Sleepy Joe better watch out!

Roll 1d100 for recruitment efforts. Bo3.

Dr. Kissinger has also come forward with the latest on the Archaeological expedition to the Arctic. While you have some troops deployed to the region, there are remarkably few Arctic Archaeological experts, since nobody thought there was anything there, and the troops haven’t been able to find much themselves either. The initial expedition was a privately funded venture, one lead by a man who had claimed that by examining myths and legends of Northern Europe he had discovered something in the frozen north, something that would revolutionise human history. Laughed at by academia, he has nevertheless been working there for many months now, and is apparently preparing for a big announcement…

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>>5600209
I'll gladly fund that concept.
How would you like to help in the development of feline cybernetics?

>>5600720
>Dreamworks has approached you about a possible solution. Something about green ogres…
We're back in business.

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>5600720
>Dreamworks has approached you about a possible solution. Something about green ogres…
The ogres start coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming ...

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>>5600720
>Something else?
They're performing unholy rituals, aren't they? How about we just spawn some demons bound by pacts with more loopholes than there are children in cobalt mines, so they can hit Disney from the inside?
There is a small chance the demons will go rogue, but even then the resulting chaos will affect Disney the most.

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>5600720
>An elite assassination team. Small and quiet, they should be able to sneak in and disrupt whatever Disney’s doing.

>>5600209
I also support this for the elite squad, and am rolling for recruitment.

>>5601267
And a demon guide for the squad. Dreamworks can supply one two test ogres, as well.

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Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>5600720
>>Dreamworks has approached you about a possible solution. Something about green ogres…

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Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5600669
*gasp* How dare they?

>>5600720
>An elite assassination team. Small and quiet, they should be able to sneak in and disrupt whatever Disney’s doing.
>Dreamworks has approached you about a possible solution. Something about green ogres…
Guess we got our own big green men huh?

>>5601267
>pic related

>>5601263
>>5601576
Hatemonger, Dr.Bright? The Arctic Archaeological Project is you’re guys wheelhouse. What do you suggest?

>>5601951
A wise man once said "I cannot help remembering that, while our ancestors were making these vessels out of stone and clay, over which our archaeologists rave, the Greeks had already built the Acropolis." I cannot share enthusiasm for this expedition as a public matter. The here and now is more important... abut let Doktor Bright see what he may find.

>>5601951
I'm kinda interested to see if there's anything anomalous to dig up. I'll send approximatly 30 arctic archeologist experts to join the Arctic Archaeological Project, and I'll add 50 million dollars to their funds.

You decide to meet with the representative from Dreamworks. Surely Disney’s biggest rival will have something to offer? The meeting goes quickly. Essentially, explains the Dreamworks representative, Disney is engaging in memetic warfare by engineering monsters with the appearance of Mickey Mouse, corrupting the pure and wholesome symbol of childhood to draw upon evil powers that seek to corrupt the entire world. The solution then is to engage in this memetic warfare by using a symbol of our own to stand in opposition to the corrupted Mickey, a giant green ogre. All they need to start engineering an army of these things is some money and access to the SCP Foundations facilities. Once ready, they claim, the Super Human and Robust Evil Killer should easily crush Mickey and continue to safeguard the country against further evils like Disney.

Do you want to go through with this plan?

>No, this is idiocy, you’ll find some other way.
>Yes, this must be the solution you’ve been looking for!

Recruitment for the FBC and SCP Foundation also goes well, and you’ve added tens of thousands of new patriotic members! You’re now able to deploy them anywhere in the country. The UN however has gotten wind of the project, and become concerned at the scale of these “law enforcement” agencies. A proper national law enforcement agency should be small and efficient they say, and should be independent from the national government. They’re worried that you might start using these agencies to violate the rights and freedoms of American citizens, and further weaken democracy. Basically, they’re asking you to halt the project. What will you do?

>Ignore them and focus on giving the FBC and SCP Foundation better surveillance powers.
>Ignore them and focus on giving the FBC and SCP Foundation better equipment.
>Arrest some particularly troublesome UN representatives and hold them for 24 hours.
>Agree and halt the project.

>>5601267
>>5601576
If you want to summon some demons of your own you'll have to roll for it. DC 66.

>>5601995
Roll 1d100 to see how successful the archaeologists are at finding clues to whatever is up there. The announcement of what's really buried beneath the ice is happening in one turn...

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>5602560
What of this roll? >>5599784
Didn't one of our missing cabinet members summon a Tolkien elf? Can she assist? Regardless, I'm happy to deploy my operate consecrate an occult circle of HATE to summon a demon with Herr Satan's help. Rolling.

As for the ogres...
>No, this is idiocy, you’ll find some other way.
I will allow ein test-ogre, maybe zwei, to accompany our mission, but one need only look at Dreamworks' body of work to see that they are not much more trustworthy. Prince of Egypt...

In addition...
>Arrest some particularly troublesome UN representatives and hold them for 24 hours.

>>5602560
>>5602639
Demons are summoned!

I will let another handle ze archaeology.

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>5602560
>Yes, this must be the solution you’ve been looking for!
Shut up and take my money!
>Ignore them and focus on giving the FBC and SCP Foundation better equipment.

Rolling for the sucessfulness of my archeologists.

>>5602560
>No, this is idiocy, you’ll find some other way.
>Arrest some particularly troublesome UN representatives and hold them for 24 hours.
Bioengineering ogres? We might as well bake a giant cookie monster and animate it with souls of the damned. Can drown it in boiling milk if things go bad.
>The announcement of what's really buried beneath the ice is happening in one turn...
Hopefully not sentient barrels with many tendrils.
Anyway, how can one hope to locate Joe Biden though mortal means? That husk is so dry I can't detect his life force anymore.
>>5602639
>>5602643
Excellent work on those runes, the rat won't even know what set his ass on fire and raped his employees.
>>5602752
If we sent some d e m o n s, the ice wouldn't be an issue

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>>5602560
>Yes, this must be the solution you’ve been looking for!
It's time.

>Ignore them and focus on giving the FBC and SCP Foundation better equipment.

Going to need a tiebreak between approving the S.H.R.E.K program or going with something else.

>>5605530
I'll approve the program as long as it doesn't get a full roll-out. The Disney raid should be treated as proof-of-concept.

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Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>5602560
>Yes, this must be the solution you’ve been looking for!
Fuck it, limited roll out to test the effectiveness of it.

>Ignore them and focus on giving the FBC and SCP Foundation better equipment.

>>5602639
>pic related
Great job!

>>5602752
Rolling to support his project

>>5605530
Sorry- been busy lately.

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You agree to Dreamworks’ proposal. The S.H.R.E.K program will be funded, and deployed against the Disney menace! The troops hold the line at the border while funding and facilities are given to Dreamworks, and they quickly begin creating these giant ogres. They’re massive beasts, green skinned, 3 metres tall, and with the strength to rip a man in half handily, if not a Mickey Beast. After only a week you have 100 of them, with Dreamworks ready to start producing legions when ordered. Initial tests seem to indicate that they’re near unstoppable in combat, at least against normal forces, and they should make quick work of any enemy they come across. However, you have no idea what might be lurking in the shadows of Disneyworld, there could be any number of horrors being summoned. Regardless, you now have a company of S.H.R.E.Ks to roll out.

How do you want to deploy them?

>Shock troops to break through the lines, giving your own a foothold to advance normally.
>A raiding force to strike at the very heart of Disneyland itself They will end this evil here and now!
>Anti-Mickeys. Whenever those foul beasts appear, your ogres will destroy them, while the troops push on normally.
>Use their collective psychic power to begin summoning a force of good to counter the evil Disney is creating!
>Write in?

Meanwhile, equipping the FBC and SCP Foundation is going well. You’ve ordered new armoured bodysuits direct from Japan, which will make your officers nearly invincible, and they’re being given the latest weapons direct from the factories. In only a few weeks, everything should be gathered and you’ll have a national terror force to strike fear into the hearts of Biden and the rest of your enemies.

One issue that you’re starting to face however, is that between funding the S.H.R.E.K program and equipping the tens of thousands of new FBC and SCP troops, you’re starting to run a little low on cash. The department of the treasury is informing President Flynn that taxes have been thrown into complete disorganisation with the recent chaos, California is apparently funnelling money somewhere instead of the federal treasury, and the cats staffing the Office of Management and Budget have started hissing at anyone who comes over. This country isn’t on the verge of economic collapse yet, but you might face some big trouble if you don’t deal with this soon!

What will we do to solve the money problem?

>Print more money. What could go wrong?
>Put us back on the gold standard. All our economic woes can be traced back to the fact that out money is fundamentally valueless, so you’ll fix that.
>Nationalise the banks. They’ve surely got some cash lying around.
>Write in?

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>>5607502
While you’re in the middle of this important meeting, in comes Henry Kissinger with a copy of the morning’s news. He throws it on the table for you all to see.

THE DISCOVERY OF HYPERBOREA

THE FROZEN NORTH UNCOVERED

“Despite the world’s best efforts, climate change is here, and it’s revealed something shocking! The melting Arctic ice caps have been steadily collapsing, and revealing more and more of what’s beneath them. In a press conference earlier today, world renowned esotericist Heinrich Borrmann revealed the results of his archaeological expedition to the recently melted sites in the far north of the world. In short, he has rediscovered Hyperborea! Contrary to all known prior science and history, he has revealed that there is land beneath the Arctic, and on that land the ruins of Man’s oldest civilisation! Hyperobrea, the true origin of humanity, a land of untold wealth and ancient technology. Dr Borrmann is understandably reluctant to reveal all, but he promises that it is an archaeological find “on a scale never before seen!”. He has dedicated the find to his father, and the “Fuhrer” of the German nation.”

“International reactions have been mixed. Russia has praised Dr. Borrmann, and sent their own archaeological expedition to discover what they can, while the European Union has denounced the discovery as the spread of a baseless and dangerous white supremacist conspiracy theory, that will only contribute to the spread of violence and hate against People of Colour. Canada has also denounced it, declaring that it will restrict all Arctic ventures within its borders to prevent hysteria and misinformation. The Argentinian navy has also been spotted in the North Atlantic. In other news Finland has announced a massive increase in its defense budget, and China has…”

Kissinger looks very glum. “He has done it. Despite the best efforts of my people, the great secret has been revealed. Now it is known, we cannot do anything about it. I would advise you to cancel all your climate change policies, they’re pointless now. It will save some money in any case. Now we must decide what to do with this discovery. The whole world will want a piece. Much of Europe will want to destroy it. There really are untold riches up there, technology beyond our understanding, and worse. What shall we do?”

>Assemble an armada! You must secure as much territory as you can and begin digging!
>There are a number of experts on this topic. Consult them first before you do anything. You might draw some criticism though, a lot of them are also World War II history enthusiasts as well…
>Finally, proof of the true heritage of the White race! You must immediately overhaul the education system to reflect this development.
>Write in?

>>5607502
SHREKS will be:
>Anti-Mickeys. Whenever those foul beasts appear, your ogres will destroy them, while the troops push on normally.
They don't seem well-suited to precision or subtlety.

Solve the cash crunch:
>Nationalise the banks. They’ve surely got some cash lying around.
>Seize Disney's assets wherever they are found through the United States

Hyperborea:
>Finally, proof of the true heritage of the White race! You must immediately overhaul the education system to reflect this development.

And I will personally...
>Make contact and arrange a meeting with Herr Borrmann... To discuss this discovery man to fuhrer

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>>5607502
>Anti-Mickeys. Whenever those foul beasts appear, your ogres will destroy them, while the troops push on normally.

>Nationalise the banks. They’ve surely got some cash lying around.
This will all be done under the wise guidance of the Office of Management and Budget! With proper rewards to the members of the feline race for all their hard work and sacrifice (I mean, this should go without saying!)

>>5607503
>Send expeditions of people to explore these new lands. And every commander being a cat from the hivemind for efficient leadership of course.

>>5607502
As the group in-charge of Labor, i say that every proud american should be put to work making S.H.R.E.Ks

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>5607502
>A raiding force to strike at the very heart of Disneyland itself They will end this evil here and now!
>Put us back on the gold standard. All our economic woes can be traced back to the fact that out money is fundamentally valueless, so you’ll fix that.
>>5607503
>Assemble an armada! You must secure as much territory as you can and begin digging!

Also, since I know the current location of anomaly 953 from last thread, i'm rolling to approach her while holding plum wine and fresh human livers (don't ask where i got them from).

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>5607502
>A raiding force to strike at the very heart of Disneyland itself They will end this evil here and now!
>Anti-Mickeys. Whenever those foul beasts appear, your ogres will destroy them, while the troops push on normally.
Does this classify as an SCP Dr. Bright?

>Nationalise the banks. They’ve surely got some cash lying around.
>Seize Disney's assets wherever they are found through the United States
Those laundering Californian Swine! I’m throwing the weight of the Treasury to get them to pay up, with interest!

>>5607503
I, of course, denounce this, and in order to prevent the spread of misinformation, order the cordoning off (and covert seizure) of the Arctic!
>Assemble an armada! You must secure as much territory as you can and begin digging!
I’ll leave the education overhaul to you, Herr Hate-Monger.

>>5607756
Mind helping California pay up Cats?

>>5608110
Would you like to do an action, IKEA Board?

>>5609247
I would say it does, yes.

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>>5609440
Then you should probably be focued on securing, protecting, and containing this, right?

>>5609459
I suppose so ... right after I secure, contain, and protect this attractive nine tailed fox first! >:)

Update in about 12 hours, been very busy past few days.

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Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>5609247
On it, Mr. President!

>>5607503
Rolling for financial pressure on Cali.
Bribe a few politicians, find some of their dirty laundry, the works.

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>>5609967
A moderate success then. Probably lost a few hundred mil to get them to comply.

>>5602639
She did, you have one elf working for you on whatever you want. Speciality in craftsmanship. You also now have a demon working for you in whatever you want as well.

>>5608605
The rest of the SCP Foundation is a little worried about Dr Bright approaching Anomaly 953, but he seems to be successful so far..

>>5609247
>>5609967
President Flynn orders the treasury to get that lost income back from California, or else! Unfortunately, it seems like all the financial records have been lost in a sudden flash flood in downtown San Francisco. In summer.

However, the Officer of Management and Budget have discovered some interesting information about the politicians of California. Apparently they're all secretly gay Joe Biden supporters! They're sending all of California's tax money to Biden! What are we going to do about that?

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>5610827
>Demon
Assign to the anti-Mickey efforts, subverting the cult and attempt to steer them against The Jews so that Kissinger can act

>Elf
Bring her with me, and have her fabricate a Hyperborean tablet of prophecy hailing President Donald Trump as the chosen one of the new age. Use my PERSONAL appeal to Borrmann to get the good doktor to authenticate it

>Anomaly 953
Trust Doktor Bright

>Californian Homosexual Bidenite Cabal
Trust ze Katzengruppen

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Rolled 77 (1d100)

You heard der Fuhrer, time to send in the Cats!

>>5610827
Intimidations and assassinations, make them fall in line.
And 'leak' the worst of them to the news. Cali corruption runs deep and the lack of cat commanders is a big issue too!

Rolling to success rate.

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Rolled 78, 53 = 131 (2d100)

You begin deploying the S.H.R.E.Ks in a limited role as an anti-Mickey force. They’ll support the troops as they make another assault and destroy any Mickey-Beasts that appear. A side effect of pairing them up with the army is that they receive a big morale boost, and the troops are delighted to be fighting alongside the giant green ogres. The sound of Smash Mouth -All Star can be heard playing across the battlefields as tanks and armoured vehicles once again begin to advance.

Roll 2d100+20 for the troops and S.H.R.E.Ks. The +20 is for the S.H.R.E.Ks only. You must beat my roll. Bo3.

You also decide to nationalise the banks. A massive undertaking. You’ll be seizing ownership of hundreds of banks across America, replacing their executives with government bureaucrats, and taking control of their assets. That’s going to be a lot of money and other assets to deal with. Real estate, bonds, stocks, investments in other companies, other banks, it’s going to be an enormous move. But, you hope, with the banks nationalised they will no longer be making risky investments, and most importantly, no longer spending money frivolously. You’ll be the ones doing that now.

What should you do with these banks?

>Fold them under the Department of the Treasury. It will handle all the banking from now on, but keep them separate for competition purposes. Maybe you’ll even de-nationalise them later.
>Merge them all into one giant National Bank. The American People and nation need stability, and this will give it to them. (This will require a new position assigned)
>Seize their money and nothing else. All you need are the funds.
>Write in?

File: Claims.png (1008 KB, 1200x1504)

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>>5610855
The race for Hyperborea is on! Canada has already sent expeditionary teams to start digging, and claimed almost the entire Arctic landmass for “preservation” and “environmental protection”. They, with the support of the EU, and numerous international banks and institutions have denounced the recent Hyperborea “mania” as baseless, and damaging to the environment. According to them further activity in the Arctic will accelerate climate change and the melting of the polar icecaps. Norway and Denmark have also laid claim to some areas, though they have been quiet about their own motivations. The Russians have also claimed a significant part of the Arctic, and have begun preparations for a massive military archaeological expedition. Now it’s up to you to decide how to exploit this newfound land of myth.

Claims have already been indicated in the picture. Currently, you and the others are only effectively able to explore the land within the dotted lines. It is suspected that there will be scant findings until you get closer to the Pole. Conflict with other nations is sure to result. You may choose to send expeditions past the Line of Effective Control, but this will be risky, and they may disappear, perhaps from rival’s efforts or other things lurking in the cold dark…

(For Hyperborea, you will be in conflict with a number of other factions seeking to explore, exploit, or destroy the ancient nation. Each turn they will also make an action, rolling for success, and in case of conflict with your own decided action you must roll to resolve the difference.)

What will you first action be?

>Sending expeditions deep into the Arctic waste. You need to get an advantage as early as possible.
>Expand your effective line of control by constructing stations and bases. You must go patiently if this is to work.
>Dispute Canada’s claims in the UN. You can’t let them claim the entire Arctic!
>Move in on another nation’s claims. Sufficient military force should be enough to ensure you seize control of the area. (Which nation?)

File: AB1FA114-CCF2-4057-AE0B-9(...).jpg (47 KB, 710x539)

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Rolled 81, 22 + 20 = 123 (2d100 + 20)

>>5610834
…that better help make the world recognize the US claim to Hyperborean, Herr Hate-Monger.

>>5610847
….you help me get Greenland and Iceland from the Europeans, and you upgrade to Treasury Undersecretary.

You get shit done, and I want to recognize that.

>>5610855
>Fold them under the Department of the Treasury. It will handle all the banking from now on, but keep them separate for competition purposes. Maybe you’ll even de-nationalise them later.
Cowabunga

>>5610866
>Expand your effective line of control by constructing stations and bases. You must go patiently if this is to work.
I’m going to talk to our Canadian… ally, talk them about giving NORAD (ie the US) de facto control of their claims. See if they can see reason (backed by American hardware on their border).

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>5610880
>>5610847
I meant to include Longyearbyen as well btw.

Rolling for diplomacy.

>>5610882
>9
Hate-Monger, it’s clearly a sign! With our combined efforts, we can make it a 999, which reverses into a 666! We need your demons to deal with the Canadians Herr Monger!

>>5610855
>Fold them under the Department of the Treasury. It will handle all the banking from now on, but keep them separate for competition purposes. Maybe you’ll even de-nationalise them later.

>>5610866
>Dispute Canada’s claims in the UN. You can’t let them claim the entire Arctic!
This ancient Hyperborean tablet clearly attests that Herr Trump (and thus Herr General Flynn, in an acting capacity) is the rightful heir to this place! Bormann, this is the truth, ja?

>>5610883
My demon is busy attending to...

*looks nervously at Kissinger*

Other matters, in the Magical Kingdom.

Rolled 47, 40 + 20 = 107 (2d100 + 20)

>>5610855
(Oh, and rolling, in case I'm meant to do so!)

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Rolled 60, 94 + 20 = 174 (2d100 + 20)

>>5610855
>Fold them under the Department of the Treasury. It will handle all the banking from now on, but keep them separate for competition purposes. Maybe you’ll even de-nationalise them later.
YES
Also rolling for the troops and S.H.R.E.Ks

>>5610866
>Dispute Canada’s claims in the UN. You can’t let them claim the entire Arctic!

>>5610880
Will give it my best shot, I'll try to pull whatever strings I find, no promises though. Those euros really hate us.
Nothing a little bit of cat charm can't fix I hope

Rolled 36, 40 + 20 = 96 (2d100 + 20)

>>5610855
>Merge them all into one giant National Bank. The American People and nation need stability, and this will give it to them. (This will require a new position assigned)
>>5610866
>Dispute Canada’s claims in the UN. You can’t let them claim the entire Arctic!
Also, I suggest we avoid any conflict with Russia and create an open border agreement for their claim and ours.

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>5611471
Rolling to persuade 953 to relocate to a safe and secure home that's close to where i live. She can have as much human liver and plum wine as she wants.

>>5610866
Them dane boys aint so tough, we could knock em' out easy.
just throwin out ideas

>>5611864
Maybe vote and perform actions?

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Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5610866
Rolling to 'convince' the europeans to sell us Iceland and Greenland (at a bargain price, if possible!)

Sending out 'Gigacat' and some others for the job.

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>>5611890
It could've gone worse.

>>5611864
Roll for it brosky- that 9 ain’t gonna help itself ;)

>>5611890
>>5611892
Great attempt, keep on it Cathorde!

Rolled 13, 23, 24, 69 = 129 (4d100)

Hyperborea Actions

Roll order: Canada, Denmark, Norway, Russia. (Each roll corresponds to each faction)

Canada sends a delegation to the UN to solidify their claims on the claimed Arctic territories.

Denmark sends an expedition into the wastes to discover more of Hyperborea.

Norway Sends an expedition into the wastes to discover more of Hyperborea.

Russia expands their effective line of control.

The troops once more begin their advance, this time with S.H.R.E.KS backing them up, ready to pounce on any Mickey beasts that leap out at them from the darkness. And leap they do, making unceasing attacks on your units as they push further into Florida. Your S.H.R.E.Ks are quick to leap into action, roaring in what sounds like Scottish accents as they rush at the onslaught of Mickeys. They make quick work of them, tearing them to pieces as your troops cheer at the sight of the terrors they faces before getting eviscerated. The troops themselves now quickly advance, securing the border with Florida and getting to the area around Disneyland.

You now have control over Northern Florida.

What shall you order the troops to do now?

>Push forward! You must secure Orlando city in preparation for an assault on Disneyland!
>Send scouts in to determine what’s going on in Disneyland.
>Secure your current position. You don’t want to risk getting pushed out.
>Write in

You also put all the banks under the Department of the Treasury. Now you’ll have enough money to fund your budget and plans for the future. It’s going to be a difficult job though, organising so many different organisations and institutions under one umbrella. The Treasury Department informs you that they’re having trouble getting it all done…

Roll 1d100, Bo3 to organise the banks.

For Hyperborea, you decide to dispute Canada’s claim on the Arctic. The North is free land, open to everyone, and you’re not about to let some upstart country on your border claim the heritage of the Aryan race! Who knows what those woke globalists would do if they get their hands on it?

Roll 1d100-20 to a prevent Canada from claiming the Arctic. Bo3. Rolling to beat my first roll. -20 from the UN hating you.

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>5612189
Organizing the banks.

Rolled 24 - 20 (1d100 - 20)

>>5612189
>Secure your current position. You don’t want to risk getting pushed out.
Plus what I suggested in >>5610834

Rolling dor my activities in Hyperborea.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>5612189
>Send scouts in to determine what’s going on in Disneyland.

Roll to organise banks

Rolled 52 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>5612189
And rolling to prevent Canada from claiming the Arctic.

>>5612681
Bruh, I typed -, not +. So, I rolled 32.

Rolled 34, 76 = 110 (2d100)

>>5612189
>Push forward! You must secure Orlando city in preparation for an assault on Disneyland!
Banks first, Canada second,

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>5611518
Rolling to ask 953 if she wants to live with me instead of by herself. That might be why my roll wasn't so high. High roll is yes, low roll is no.

>>5613197
Herr Doktor, you know you could just sue RAYS and SERUMS to make her love you, ja?

>>5613233
I know i could, but I prefer to do it the old fashioned way. :)

>>5610880
>>5610882
President Flynn has been flatly refused entry into Canada on the grounds that Donald Trump, and by extension, Acting President Flynn, was elected illegitimately. However, Canada is willing to talk with Joe Biden about giving the US control over the Arctic, if you were to instate him as rightful President.

>>5611062
Dr Bormann is very busy at the moment, but he had enough time to pen a letter to the Hate-Monger. It reads as follows: This tablet, where did you find such a thing? What an astounding artifact! So well-preserved and detailed, it's almost as if it was new! I will bring this to the UN at once, herr Hate-Monger.

>>5611890
The European Union is very confused when several cats turn up in Brussels with several letters asking for Iceland and Greenland. They're even more bewildered when they find thousands of dollars strapped to hundreds of cats which have gathered in the city. Unfortunately, due to language differences and the fact that they're not sure if selling countries is legal anymore, the cats are sent back to the US. They did have a nice holiday though.

(Sorry for the inconsistent posting the past few days, been very busy lately. If I've missed any actions please let me know.)

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>5612215
>>5612677
>>5612699
1 = Secure position.
2 = Scouts.
3 = Push Forward.

Rolled 3 (1d10)

Location: Northern Florida

You have elected to secure your newly taken positions, purging them of any Disney influence and ensuring the population is safe. It’s been carried out quickly, though local Foundation personnel report the discovery of “disturbing anomalies” in several locations, and have needed the Army’s help to purge some too big for containment.

In the meantime, the troops have been busy digging in, setting up trench lines and establishing FOBs in key locations. There haven’t been any attacks from Disney lately, meaning the fortification work has gone uninterrupted. Strange… you’d think that something would have attacked you by now, but it’s been quiet. Extremely quiet.
The troops swear they can hear screaming carried by the wind from Disneyland, but they’re probably just being paranoid. Somehow it’s also started to rain from the clouds that are covering Florida, but the Foundation and FBC assure you there’s nothing anomalous about it, other than where it came from. Disneyland still glows menacingly in the distance. The troops will have to move out soon…

Rolling for Disney’s response…

The banks have now been organised. They are now under the full control of the Treasury! It now controls every national level bank in the country! Acting President Flynn is now even more powerful than before… But first, the officials at the Treasury Department have drawn up several lists for the acting President to look at. They should enable President Flynn to utilise the new resources the Treasury has at its disposal. What will the Acting President decide to look at first? (ONLY President Flynn gets to vote.)

>Money.
>Property.
>Investments.
>Crypto.

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>>5614642

Hyperborea Actions

Canada: 13.
Canada makes it’s case at the UN for the validity of its claims on almost the entire Arctic. Unfortunately, with our own arguments and the discovery of a fascinating tablet that Dr Bormann claims is a prediction of the rise of Donald Trump, Canada’s attempts have failed.

Denmark: 23.
The Danish expedition quickly departs into the snowy wastes, but no word is heard from it only after a few days. What could have happened?

Norway: 24.
The Norwegian expedition also sets out, but quickly turns back when it’s discovered that all their food has gone rotten. Whatever could have caused that?

Russia: 69. Nice!
The Russians set about expanding their effective line of control. They are quite successful at it, training their troops to venture into the frozen north and using their submarines as mobile bases that can travel beneath the thinner Polar ice. One seems to have made itself a permanent installation. Russia has gotten closer to the Pole…

Now that you’ve successfully defeated Canada in the UN, what next for the search for Hyperborea?

>Expanding the line of control. You need to get closer to the pole.
>Lay claim to the center of the Arctic yourself. With the tablet you should easily accomplish it, and you better prevent Canada from trying to grab it again.
>Send expeditions in. You need to get better intel before you do anything.
>Move in on another nations claims. You can’t let them take what’s rightfully yours! (Specify a country)

>>5614644
>Lay claim to the center of the Arctic yourself. With the tablet you should easily accomplish it, and you better prevent Canada from trying to grab it again.

Any progress on that 99 roll to subvert Disney with my demon and open it up to Jewish Fiscal Wizardry?

>>5614673
>>5614644
Oh, this is me, by the way.

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>>5614598
Mission failed, we'll get em next time.

>>5614644
>Expanding the line of control. You need to get closer to the pole.

>>5614644
>Lay claim to the center of the Arctic yourself. With the tablet you should easily accomplish it, and you better prevent Canada from trying to grab it again.

953 is secure and protected. Containment deemed not necessary. Unlike most other anomalies, she will not be restricted to one location.

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>5615095
Rolling to locate anomaly 914. Preparing a task force from HUD/Interior to either build a facility around it or repair and reinforce the building it's already in.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>5614642
>Investments.
Unless anyone has an idea they want to spitball to me.

>>5614644
>Lay claim to the center of the Arctic yourself. With the tablet you should easily accomplish it, and you better prevent Canada from trying to grab it again.
I’ll figure I’ll spend this roll addressing the Mexican Migration problems, try and nip one of the less issues in the bud.

>>5615102
Mind helping us expand our line of control, Secretary of the Interior and Development?

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5615528
Sure. Rolling to help expand line of control.

>>5615528
>Unless anyone has an idea they want to spitball to me.
Investments seem sensible enough to me.

>>5615625
Thanks Dr. Bright!

>>5615713
Anything you want to roll for, Herr Hate-Monger?

>>5615716
I'm waiting to hear if my gambit with the demon has yielded results to plan my next move.

Updating tomorrow, sorry for the delay. Been busy fighting the evil forces of globohomo!

>>5614673
>>5615934
I treated that 99 roll as applying to the fake tablet you sent to Dr Bormann, if you want to do something with the other demon you need to roll again.

Location: Northern Florida

The troops are holding the line in Northern Florida, awaiting the next attack, or orders to come down to advance. However, no such attack has arrived, and the generals are getting worried. They’re requesting you send scouting teams in to determine what’s going on, and let the troops continue fortifying their current positions. You’re in a meeting discussing what to do with he situation, when the Secret Service informs you that Bob Iger, CEO of Disney, wants a meeting and he’s already in Washington. It seems as if he wants to come to an understanding regarding the situation with Disney World and Florida. Apparently, he’s willing to discuss “reasonable terms of surrender”. Will you accept his request?

>No, this is obviously a trap of some kind. Ignore his request, and have the FBC or SCP Foundation arrest him.
>Yes, you need to find a solution, and the army is needed elsewhere. You’ll discuss the terms of Disney’s surrender.

Hyperborea Actions

You decide to lay claim to the centre of the Arctic, since you are obviously the most responsible party to safeguard it, and with the help of the tablet you “recovered” plus Dr Bormann’s support, you are quickly able to solidify it in the UN. Despite their misgivings, and the objections of many member states, there’s little they can do in the face of such indisputable evidence. It seems as if you really were prophesised to seize the ruins of Hyperborea. [Auto-success from fake tablet].

Now that you’ve beaten Canada in the UN, what’s next?
>Sending expeditions deep into the Arctic waste. Nobody has been successful yet, but you’re sure you’ll be the first.
>Expand your effective line of control by constructing stations and bases. Now you’ve claimed the frozen center, you need to get to it as quickly as possible.
>Dispute other nations claims. You must ensure only you have the legal authority to explore Hyperborea!
>Move in on another nation’s claims. Sufficient military force should be enough to ensure you seize control of the area. (Which nation?)

>>5615102
Your agents have successfully located Anomaly 914 in an old university building, but it seems as if it's being protected by Biden supporters. They don't trust the "illegitimate authoritarian fascist government of that white supremacist Donald Trump" and are refusing entry to any federal agents.

What will you do?

>>5615528
The Department of the Treasury: INVESTMENTS

Due to you taking over all the banks in the country, there is a significant amount of investments the Department of the Treasury now holds. These are essentially what each bank, now part of the treasury, owns of other companies or entities. They can be kept, sold, or otherwise reinvested in other areas. These investments represent one of the biggest moneymakers for the banks, the other one being property.

The 5 biggest investments, when collected are:
>Black Rock (33%)
>Multinational Investment Banks (20%)
>Non-US dollar currency (10%)
>Federal Bonds (10%)
>Loans (7%)

It's up to you Mr. President to decide what to do with these investments, whether to leave them as is, sell them, or otherwise reinvest them in other companies or ventures.

>>5622160
>Yes, you need to find a solution, and the army is needed elsewhere. You’ll discuss the terms of Disney’s surrender.
Hate-Monger, this is your side-show.
>Expand your effective line of control by constructing stations and bases. Now you’ve claimed the frozen center, you need to get to it as quickly as possible.
Dr. Bright, Cat-horde, your assistance in securing the Hyperborea and other territories would be most welcome.

>>5622172
What do you think lads? Should I keep the investments as is, or do something else with them? I’d like the Cabinet’s thoughts on the matter.

Black Rock was implicated in supporting traitorous elements, right? Hate-Monger, Cats, I’d like your opinion on how we should handle our sizable influence with them now.

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Rolled 46 (1d100)

Rolling for Hyperborean cat-led expeditions (throwing a bit of cash around should help out in this).

>>5622160
>Yes, you need to find a solution, and the army is needed elsewhere. You’ll discuss the terms of Disney’s surrender.
>Expand your effective line of control by constructing stations and bases. Now you’ve claimed the frozen center, you need to get to it as quickly as possible.

>>5623184
On it, boss.
>Investments
Well, I for one think a state-funded feline appreciation group will be able to help America in the long run!
But, uh, more practically we could reinvest some of Blackrock into small American businesses. Really get the economy pumping again while obtaining more legitimacy with the public, sounds like a win-win to me.
Maybe buy some gold on the side, humans seem to be crazy about the stuff.

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>5622143
Rolling now, then, though it seems extraneous at this point. Maybe if Kissinegr can ruin them financially, we can extract better terms?

>>5622160
>Yes, you need to find a solution, and the army is needed elsewhere. You’ll discuss the terms of Disney’s surrender.

>Expand your effective line of control by constructing stations and bases. Now you’ve claimed the frozen center, you need to get to it as quickly as possible.

>>5623184
>Investments
Sounds more like a subject for Kissinger and Der Katzengrupen. If Black Rock wishes for any leniency or continued favoritism from the government, though, they should demonstrate their loyalty by helping us take Hyperborea.

>>5623374
Der Aprilscherz ist eine Elfenverschwörung!

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>>5623285
>46
Command center? I think we might have a slight problem.
Oh well, nothing a few billion dollars can't fix. I'm sure it won't be that bad.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>5623285
>>5623374
Hmmmm. Thank you for your input gentlemen and gentlepets.

>>5622160
Mr. Kissinger, what day you?

I’d also like to meet with Black Rock to discuss about their loyalty to the Trump Government and how they can demonstrate it.

Otherwise, I’ll let the Cats handle the redistribution of investments.

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>>5622160
>Yes, you need to find a solution, and the army is needed elsewhere. You’ll discuss the terms of Disney’s surrender.
I want this war with Disney to be over, so that I may focus on ... other things.
>Sending expeditions deep into the Arctic waste. Nobody has been successful yet, but you’re sure you’ll be the first.
I reccomemd that we invite Russia to send their own expeditions to join ours. It would be beneficial to us to have Russia as an ally, and doing this will improve our relations.
>>5622172
I'm gonna hire a few hundred mercenaries to kill all of the Biden supporters, disassemble anomaly 914, transport it to the facility that Interior/HUD employees are building right now, and reassemble anomaly 914 inside it. After 914 is far away from the university, the demomen mercenaries will blow up the building, and we'll say that it was a gas explosion. Here's a picture of some of them.

>>5624810
If anybody asks about anomaly 914 after the explosion, we'll say it was destroyed.

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Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>5624810
Rolling for the success of my mercenaries

Is this quest dead?

>>5634394
No, I'll be back for good tomorrow. Just been busy with Easter. Might make a new thread and see if I can't get some new people in, not sure yet.

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>>5634758

New thread is up >>5636268

>>5636274
Yo, Q, did you archive the thread yet?

>>5636849
Oh, I'll do that right now, thanks for reminding me.