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>>6058783

Information:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/QM91m
Discord: https://discord.gg/AmjbaTR
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(Rough Grammar ‘till half of the 9th Thread)
Incomplete Guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-nIx_dvaNCPQ7zLg2BK_ucCyGNM741kAANxqXj7hdDs/edit?usp=sharing

Votes:

Votes are counted until 25 minutes have passed. This rule doesn't apply to the last reply of the day.
Votes that require a dice roll are counted until 15 minutes have passed, so we can speed up the process. Rolls are counted until 10 minutes have passed, so be prepared!

(NEW) Dice Mechanic:

We always roll 1d100s!
Since most people weren’t happy with the system of averaging top four rolls, we’re using best of 2/3/4 depending on the attribute a prompt requires. If Johnny is a genius and it’s a Knowledge based roll, he gets more rolls (Max. 7)! If he sucks, he gets less dice (Min. 2)!

When asked for rolls, I will specify how many you’re going to get. Rolling begins after it’s asked.

Rolling 100 is a critical! There are no Critical Failures anymore!

The difficulty of the roll is tied with the effectiveness of the action. In other words, the harder the option the better the result!

Don’t forget that at the end of the day, this is a story-driven quest! What the prompts are describing is more important than the difficulty of the rolls, for results in a fight.

Again, rolls are only counted when they are posted within ten minutes of being asked, so watch out!

>>6058783
>>You all go to find the taxi, then you and Matilda return to Ugolino’s room after. Don’t overcomplicate things.
>Duh. Why run the risk?
She seems dumb enough that we can tell her we got them after falling into a vat of toxic waste of some superhero shit anyway

>>6058789
+1

>>6058783
>>You all go to find the taxi, then you and Matilda return to Ugolino’s room after. Don’t overcomplicate things.
>Duh. Why run the risk?

>>6058789
+1

>>6058789
+1, and carry Bridetilda bridal style because funny

>>6058789
+1
>>6058816
Do it for LOVE instead

>>6058828
Fuck it, for the LOVE, she really deserves it after tolerating so much bullshit from us

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“For the next part of the plan, I must confess something…” You put on a mysterious act that you’re sure the ladies love. Anastasia and the Suitcase look worried about you. Mainly Anastasia. You wait a couple of extra seconds for dramatic tension. “...I can turn myself and others invisible.”

“Good. It’s safer if you tell them.” Matilda admits that she prefers spreading the word about your powers than run the risk of getting everyone in trouble.

“Whatever do you two mean…?” Anastasia feels rightly confused.

“It is as he says.” Matilda confirms. “Show her.” She wants to move on from the explanation. You don’t have the luxury of time.

“Behold.” You turn your hand invisible just like you did with Ichie with some magician flair. You’re glad you evolved your powers into something easily demonstrable.

“For all the goodness on heaven and earth...!!! It is as you said! A miracle before my very eyes!” Anastasia frantically starts skipping in place, tears of joy forming on her face. The Former Bride’s world view has been expanded to something that has never crossed her mind.

“What?! He’s not messing with you? He sounds like a fun guy who loves messing with people!” The Briefcase can’t see shit despite having holes to breathe. They aren’t big enough to see anything. You haven’t mentioned it, but this girl’s accent is far less thick than Anastasia’s.

“I’m not. I, uhm, fell into a vat of toxic waste or something, that’s how I got these powers…” You scratch the back of your head as you come up with a shitty lie. They don’t need to know every detail, or else you’ll be here all day. Matilda raises an eyebrow at the lazy retelling.

“Cassie, it’s like those graphic novels you enjoy! I’ve been so blind to those beautiful sacred texts, I will never speak ill of them!” Anastasia’s amazement will last a lifetime.

“T-That’s great, Annie. But those are fiction.” The Suitcase feels like her sister is sharing a bit too much.

“Fiction no more, Cassie!” It’ll be way harder to convince Anastasia that you’re tricking her than to believe your uninspired origin story at this point.

“T-Thanks for the trust. But you two have to keep it a secret from everybody, okay? Assume only us four know, understood?” You think she’s overreacting. You have received so many different reactions upon hearing this news that you have a distorted view on how this goes.

“I’ll never cross you! I’d rather take my own life than cause you any grief! You two are my saviors, my angels! I’ll love you two forever~!” Anastasia has become a fanatic. You’d say something, but it feels like a waste of time, maybe later.

“Huh, same, but toned down a hundred nudges.” The Suitcase wants everyone to know she’s not a psycho like her sister.

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>>6058871

“May your sister tone it down too…” Matilda can only pray. “I have to make sure the dress doesn’t get damaged. So here, carry your luggage.” The Spicy girl hands over the most expensive trash bag in the world to Anastasia.

“Okay, for this to work, you have to stay quiet and never let go of me. Understood?” You give instructions to the newbie.

“Y-Yes!” Anastasia is very anxious from the excitement.

“Now, I want you two to grab my arm.” You offer both Matilda and Anastasia as you grab the Sister Suitcase. Then the veil slowly starts covering everyone. This is taking more energy than you’d like. Four people is a handful and their luggage is a bit much. “I’ll give you a moment to get used to it.”

“T-This is incredible…!” Anastasia’s whole body is shaking in awe.

“Nuts…! This is nuts! I can look through the suitcase! I can see the room!” The Sister can’t believe it either. “W-Why didn’t you do it before, pal?! Agh, who am I to judge an angel...?” She feels rude for asking.

“Enough with the angel stuff. He’s human.” Matilda doesn’t want these two to get carried away. “And stay quiet. This is the important part.”

...You wonder if they know neither you or Matilda can see them nod. You know they’re nodding because you can feel the energy of the veil moving. You might find a usage for this quirk. Not now. You have to find a taxi.

To call your escape eventful will be a fat lie, it goes as well as it could’ve gone with a couple of mild close calls, one including a short meeting with Mr. San Francisco in the “ghost” elevator. You’re not only outside the building, but away from the perimeter, in Pokyo Lokyo proper. Where normal people are, doing normal things like going to a convenience store or fight the urge to climb a lamp post. Doesn’t take a while before a random cab stops by you once the cloak is worn off. The driver is properly confused by Matilda’s appearance, but since she’s not joining the sister’s ride, he couldn’t pry.

You two have an emotional farewell with Anastasia and her sister, but something tells you two that this won’t be the last you’ll see of them.

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>>6058872

Time is running short, you two run back into the building with the invisibility on! Once back in Ugo’s room, you’re greeted by Anastasia!

“Welcome back, everrrryone!” Wilmatasia is trying to fake Anastasia’s accent. She sounds like Mirjam… “How do I look?”

“I barely recognize you.” You don’t know how to feel, but it’s working! Wilma looks confident now!

“Heh. The girls in his fan club would kill to be in your place, girl.” Ms. Cooldown teases Matilda’s wardrobe of choice while holding your arm. She lets it go the instant the focus is on her.

“They’d kill for far less.” Matilda doesn’t take the bait and starts taking her dress off. “Help me out.”

“H-Hold on!” Wilma wasn’t prepared for the fit girl to be so bold, too busy wondering how she ended up dressed like that.

“Let’s work on you in the groom’s room, shall we?” Ms. Cooldown takes you away into Ugolino’s bedroom to give them privacy.

The Groom is sitting on his bed, looking down to the carpet in deep thought. Peace time is over once you two barge in.

“Huh? What’s going on? Who is that?” Ugolino is utterly confused.

“Name’s Ms. Cooldown, I’m the stylist for the evening!” Ms. Cooldown takes the reins on the situation as she starts working on you.

“W-What are you working on? Is he going to be my groomsman?” Ugolino asks.

“Nope. Your double. Don’t ask me for details, I just paint them.” Ms. Cooldown knows she has little time to work on this.

“M-My what!?” Ugolino needs an explanation.

And an explanation is due.

What do you do?

>Tell Ugolino your plan: You’ll replace him from this point onwards. He can relax.
>Tell Ugolino your plan: You’ll replace him during the last bit of the ceremony to kiss the bride yourself. (You’ll hide while invisible, then swap at the key moment.)
>Tell Ugolino your plan: You’ll pretend you died by disappearing in front of everyone.
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>6058873
>>Tell Ugolino your plan: You’ll replace him from this point onwards. He can relax.

>>6058881
+1

>>6058873
>Tell Ugolino your plan: You’ll replace him from this point onwards. He can relax.

>>6059169
+1 to this nigga in particular

>>6058873
>>6058872
>marry matilda

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“I’m going to replace you from this point onwards, wedding and all, so relax, take it easy, and watch TV.” You say. It’s not like you have to be experienced in these events to get married! You can fumble the heck out of this and nobody will care.

“...But I wanted to watch Jack Michaelson.” Ugo can’t believe this day is getting even worse.

“Easy there, Cattle head, I can stylish you into anyone you can imagine! Anyone that comes to mind who is as cryptic passing as you.” Ms. Cooldown believes he can sneak in. That brights him up. He’s feeling hope again.

“Do you have any idea of what to do, buddy?” The former groom doesn’t want you to fuck this up.

“I wait on the altar, read the vows, kiss the bride, and then go on a paid vacation. Right?” You won’t do the last bit though.

“Ah, you’re aware that there’s no wedding reception.” Ugolino seems relieved as you apparently know enough about how this is going down. Makes you wonder when Jack Michaelson is going to play. “There are no honor guests on either side, no hurdles to worry about!”

“Great!” You didn’t know getting married would be this easy despite being divorced! “You sure there are no weird shenanigans?” You have to make sure.

“Everything is following the old Prancijanian tradition: The eternal stairway to the giant transparent ball altar suspended 20 meters in the air with all the guests underneath it, looking above like the ants they represent. Starting the eternal fire of your love with the golden torch in front of the bishop. Then, the beat of the drums will heighten until the passionate kiss from the couple works as the final crescendo, with fireworks blasting through the night sky.” Ugo casually explains this will be all normal! “Then you’ll leave in the carriage outside.”

“Cool. I’m too poor to picture all that.” Your imagination is running low on funds.

“He’s making it up.” Ms. Poordown doesn’t believe it. Not even an ounce of her bombastic energy in her words.

“T-That’s how it usually goes!” Ugolino acts like this is normal.

“It may be my poverty speaking, but where are the wedding rings?” You didn’t hear a peep about a flower girl or any movie wedding thing.

“Mother will hand them over on the ball.” Ugolino feels like that was obvious.

“Great! Now, no more talking! I have a beast to finish...” Ms. Cooldown needs to finish your look.

There, you’re done, you look awful as you expected! You’re Ugonny now! The real Ugolino hands over his suit, and prepares to be turned into a new form as well. Ms. Cooldown readjusts your clothes to the best of her ability, and it fits your athletic build perfectly! Then the multifaceted stylist goes out to help with Wilma's dress as well, which needed a couple of tiny details sorted out. Now, you and Wilma are ready. Ms. Cooldown is planning on working on Matilda in case of an emergency. Meaning extra pay for her,

>>6059556

And Ugolino is more than happy to cover the cost, so it’s all good!

Timed to perfection, after Ms. Cooldown is done with all of you, you receive a call from Mr. San Francisco, the wedding needs the groom…

“All done…” Ms. Cooldown is exhausted on the bed, she needs a breather. “Go on without me. Pretty. Chic. Disturbing. Otherworldly. But above all… you all are exquisite.”

“Your friend is as incredible as you said, Johnny.” Wilma (?) would recommend her to all her tomato friends.

“No time for well-deserved praise. You have to go.” Matilda (?) urges you to leave.

“I’ll show you the way!” Ugolino (?) will not leave you on your own.

Any parting words before the wedding begins?

>“Let’s try to steer clear from anyone who will bother us.” Request to Ugolino.
>“I’m not faking the kiss, Wilma. So beware.” Announce your intentions to the Tomato.
>“Do you want to be the bride now?” Tease Matilda. You’re ugly as fuck now.
>“Thank you, Ms. Cooldown. I owe you a big one.” You know she’s getting paid, but she really came in clutch! Maybe you can recruit her for a certain prison break mission...
>“Wait, weren’t we here to help Odetta?” You forgot. Whoops.
>Write In.

>>6059557
>“Thank you, Ms. Cooldown. I owe you a big one.” You know she’s getting paid, but she really came in clutch! Maybe you can recruit her for a certain prison break mission...
>“Wait, weren’t we here to help Odetta?” You forgot. Whoops.

>>6059557
>>“I’m not faking the kiss, Wilma. So beware.” Announce your intentions to the Tomato.

>>6059557
>>“Thank you, Ms. Cooldown. I owe you a big one.” You know she’s getting paid, but she really came in clutch! Maybe you can recruit her for a certain prison break mission...
>“I’m not faking the kiss, Wilma. So beware.” Announce your intentions to the Tomato.

>>6059557
>“Thank you, Ms. Cooldown. I owe you a big one.” You know she’s getting paid, but she really came in clutch! Maybe you can recruit her for a certain prison break mission...
>“Wait, weren’t we here to help Odetta?” You forgot. Whoops.
>“I’m not faking the kiss, Wilma. So beware.” Announce your intentions to the Tomato.

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“It’s fine, we can take a moment.” You believe grooms can be fashionably late. “Thank you, Ms. Cooldown. I owe you a big one.”

“I’m adding more practice sessions with your tasty face on my schedule now.” Ms. Cooldown writes it down on her phone. She acts like she won’t have a better canvas than you.

“Leave it open for a job in the near future too.” You wiggle your eyebrows… somehow. You don’t know how your face works anymore.

“If it’s as gripping as this one. I’ll be back, ready, and unputdownable.” Ms. Cooldown smirks as she lets out one exhausted sigh.

“No thinking about the future just yet! I’d love to help you with your practice as well, if you take a good rest now.” Wilma (?) pleads to the fashionista.

“Heh, don’t threaten me with a good time.” Ms. Cooldown will show up again.

“Take a nap. Nobody will bother you here.” Ugolino promises. He better not lie or you’ll ruin his wedding again!

That is cue for her to fall asleep… you wish the Koala goodnight.

“I’ll come back for her.” Matilda promises to the group. “Now, let’s mo—”

“Hold on, I have remembered something!” You raise your voice. “...No, I forgot again.”

Your Phone furiously vibrates! It’s even heating up!

“Wait, weren’t we here to help Odetta?” You remember thanks to the context clues! What remains of the bedsheets remind you of a ghost! The phone vibrates harmoniously.

“We don’t have time for that.” Matilda pressures everyone to ignore the unliving.

“Are you sure?” You don’t want to be a meanie.

“They called you to go down there. Just go.” Matilda frowns.

“Who are you talking about?” The former groom wonders.

“A specter.” You exclaim.

“Hm, I believe you should ignore it.” Ugo agrees with Matilda.

“Perhaps we can figure out a way to do the wedding and help her in one go.” Wilma wants to try anything to help the dumb ghost.

“That reminds me.” You adjust your… eyes? “I’m not faking the kiss, Wilma. So beware.” You wiggle your face muscles.

“…?! O-Of course! I’m ready, we have to make it look believable.” Wilma recovers a fraction of her dignity with her response.

“Don’t get too flustered or else the make-up might fail. You’re a sweat dispenser.” Matilda wants everyone to be careful.

“...!!! Don’t phrase it like that!” Wilma is offended by these baseless accusations.

“Please, be nice to each other!” Ugo doesn’t like the dumb fight.

“Yeah, we all should focus on the one thing we came here to do and nothing else. Okay? We have to keep our focus!” You passionately exclaim to the group that there won’t be any detours. You’re too focused to care why your pocket is trembling out of control.

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>>6059633


The teams split, Anastasia (Wilma) and Cassandra (Matilda) return to the bride’s room to wait for their own call for the wedding, while Ugolino (You) and Not-Ugolino (Ugolino) make your way to the wedding hall on the first floor of the Hotel. There, it looks like your conventional ballroom for a grand festivity. You say conventional, but you’ve never been to a place like this, just watched romantic movies of iffy quality.

Ugolino gives you instructions on what to do, in what order, where to stand, and all that. And makes mention of the guests you should know about. In truth, most of them, if not all, don’t know Ugolino personally — so there’s little to no chance that they can figure out your true identity. They’re interesting people nonetheless, if you think talking to an economist is fun. You ask him who you *actually* need to be careful about, you know, the people who can tell you are not Ugolino...

“Oh yes, there are many people who are close to me who could easily identify you.” Ugolino agrees he needs to prepare you. “Like, uhm…” He looks around. “My former bartender, Al, over there.” He points at some guy. “Seems like most of my friends didn’t take my invitation.”

“Right…” You feel so bad for this guy. Your phone must be heartbroken too, because it’s vibrating like crazy. Hey, you spotted Fiora! She did accept the invitation! You believe this is the reason Odetta was vibrating! You wonder if she plans to stop the wedding, it’d be so cool of her if she did.

“My best friend is by the entrance. Wave at him.” Ugolino forces you to be nice to another random guy. “He says he’s ready to take me to drink after my wedding fails. What an idiot, isn’t he?”

“Y-You don’t have to cry.” You can’t believe tears are raining down his face that easily, he just finished talking and he’s heartbroken.

What do you do?

>Stay a minute longer with Ugolino to calm him down.
>Make contact with Fiora. Act like you’re thanking her for coming.
>Ask about his brother and mom, they could ruin everything, right?
>Go to your spot. Do the wedding. Ignore everything else.
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>6059634
>>Make contact with Fiora. Act like you’re thanking her for coming.

That Al guy looks rather petty just as an aside.

>>6059634
>Make contact with Fiora. Act like you’re thanking her for coming.
But also
>Will this Al guy interfere? Or can he tell we're in on this together?

>>6059634
>>Stay a minute longer with Ugolino to calm him down.

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You pat Ugo (?) on the back until he notices his tears, he tries to play it cool after wiping them.

“I didn’t mean to do that, the cruel hand of loneliness caressed my face for a moment. But I’m all good!” Ugo will rely on future therapy to fix this.

“Alright then.” You’d be nicer, but you’re in a high-stress situation. That’s why you’re going to make contact with the random witch sitting by the sidelines. You approach Fiora. “Thank you for coming to my wedding, my fiancée told me you were a great confidant yesterday.”

“...Johnny, is that you?” Fiora recognizes you immediately somehow.

“Me? Johnny? Impossible.” You clear your throat.

“I suggest you refrain from using your regular voice while you’re impersonating someone.” Fiora tenderly smiles.

“Damn, dulyyy noteeed.” You try to imitate Fiora’s voice in response. Maybe Wilma was on the right track playing up her Mirjam accent.

“...Are you trying to impersonate me?” Fiora is flabbergasted, she wants you to stop, but you won’t.

“Tryyying? Or succeeding?” You wiggle your new face muscles.

“...Who is your friend?” Fiora ignores your idiocy as gently as she can.

“Oh, he’s the actual groom. Say hi to her, she’s my pal.” You present Ugo.

“Hello! It’s a pleasure.” Ugo waves.

“...Is it too late to ask what’s going on?” Fiora can’t follow your master plan.

“Kinda, I have to go to the altar soon. If you have a plan to stop the wedding, you have to tell me now.” You need to make sure.

“Why would I do that?” Fiora doesn’t understand where this is coming from.

“Didn’t you listen to Anastasia’s story?” You raise your fake eye muscle.

“Yes, I certainly did.” Fiora doesn’t make the connection.

“Like the entire thing?” You continue asking.

“I’m sure, yes.” Fiora nods slowly.

“...And you didn’t want to stop this from happening?” You’re confused.

“It’s none of my business.” Fiora shakes her head.

…

Fiora is only here to *enjoy* the wedding?

How do you respond?

>“Oh, that’s fine, I didn’t know you were so HEARTLESS and BORING.” You won’t judge her, you’ll give her the sentence instead.
>“Are you sure that you’re Kobashi’s daughter…?” Be very disappointed. Kobashi would’ve made things worse, but dammit, it’s something!
>“Oh, I guess that’s the proper response...” Act mildly disappointed, but be sure to let her know that you’re judging her.
>“Good. Because what we have in mind will surprise you.” Boast yourself! You’re going to show Fiora how useful you can be!
>Write In.

>>6060334
>>“Oh, that’s fine, I didn’t know you were so HEARTLESS and BORING.” You won’t judge her, you’ll give her the sentence instead.
>Ask to see after all this

>>6060334
>>“Oh, that’s fine, I didn’t know you were so HEARTLESS and BORING.” You won’t judge her, you’ll give her the sentence instead.

>>6060334
>>Write In.
"Oh hey, got a friend for you." Hand over phone as we originally came here to do.

>>6060336
>>6060340
+1 both of these

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“Oh, that’s fine, I didn’t know you were so HEARTLESS and BORING.” You went there, this is inexcusable.

“…” Fiora is in shambles, ashamed of her inaction as she should be. “I-If there’s anything I can do, you’ll let me know, correct? You’re very well aware of my capabilities.” She’s desperate to be useful now. Too little, too late.

“You can keep watching, I guess.” You can’t come up with plans on the spot! It’s not like this entire situation happened because you could!

“If it serves as any consolation, I appreciate you not trying to ruin my wedding, madam.” Ugo smiles.

“It does…” Fiora’s face says otherwise, she couldn’t care less about Ugolino.

“Oh, there’s something you can do!” You get animated.

“Please, do tell.” Fiora has never been so eager to help!

“Can we meet after all this?” You ask. You came here to talk! For some reason!

“Ah… Yes, absolutely…” Fiora thought she could sneak in at the last second, she looks heartbroken, not like her usual cool and collected self.

“Johnny, I can’t leave a beautiful madam dejected, it’s not in my nature. I’ll keep her company.” Ugo lets you know this is where you’re going to split. It’d be weird if he accompanied you at the base of the stairway. “We’ll push our sorrows away together!”

“You’re a kind soul, Mr. Ugolino, but don’t push yourself to entertain this stranger. I find comfort in solitude.” Fiora wants to turn him down politely.

“Nonsense! No pretty lady enjoys being at a party alone!” Ugo will stay here no matter what.

“Then I expect you to dispel some of my doubts…” Fiora resigns to her fate. She’ll use this opportunity to gather intel though.

“Anything to entertain! Haha!” Ugo will make this date work somehow.

Your phone has been vibrating this entire time… Hold on, you recall something important!

“Oh hey, got a friend for you.” You hand your phone over to Fiora.

“Allow me.” Fiora foolishly believes this is something she can do to help with the plan. “Oh my. So, it’s you.” Fiora taps the phone, you can feel Odetta shouting to not poke her. “I’ll make sure she’s safe.” Fiora recovers her cool demeanor. She can’t look weak in front of the ghost. You hope she gives her a proper burial.

“I believe it’s time. You must go.” Ugo says as the lights start to dim. You don’t know if that’s part of the ritual or not...

You need to walk up to the circle at the start of the stairway to the floating sphere, and wait.

What do you do?

>Get married. Try to act like Ugo as much as possible. Practice his voice in your head.
>Get married. Don’t overdo it. As the groom, your only objective is to make love to the bride.
>Write In.

>>6060433
>>Get married. Don’t overdo it. As the groom, your only objective is to make love to the bride.
Play it cool

>>6060433
>Get married. Don’t overdo it. As the groom, your only objective is to make love to the bride.
Lewd

>>6060433
>Get married. Don’t overdo it. As the groom, your only objective is to make love to the bride.

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You nod at your friends as a way to say goodbye and walk up to your designated spot. Once there, the ceremony begins. The lights dim further until everything is pitch dark, obviously, you have night vision, so you can still see what’s happening. Two spotlights circle around the main entrance, until they focus on the gate.

A drum sequence led by Jack Michaelson himself (you think it’s him) starts blasting through the ballroom! Then the doors open, and the gorgeous bride is led by her sister to the feet of the stairway. There, Cassantilda hands over Wilmastasia to you (Uggony). A coy smile comes from the bride, and you shoot your own smirk. It all feels natural. With her arm wrapped around yours, you two step on the stairway, only to find out at that moment that it’s an electric one. As you go higher, the beating of the drums intensify, more instrumentation joins for an orchestral sound, then cheesy lyrics of love are the cherry on top.
t
Giant screens on the walls show you two front and center for everyone to see. It flashes to the music show every now and then, and it’s a whole concert at this point. Big shame you can’t watch it…

“Everything good?” Your cute fake fiancée asks. “Leave it all to me, it’s not my first marriage ceremony.” She wants you to take it easy.

“All right.” You wink (?). You don’t want to say that you want to watch the show. Screw it even, watching your wife is better. She may look like Anastasia to everyone else, but to you, you can clearly see Wilma… with a wig. You must cut yourself some slack, it’s not as easy to imagine every detail!

The interior of the Suspended Sphere strongly resembles a fancy church, with paintings on the rainbow-colored walls, and decorations of all types of art pieces from different periods — a cacophony of styles. The more you look at this place, your first impression distorts, and makes you wonder if you’re not in a dream. Not to say that you’re being teleported to the Distant Frontier or anything like it, but if that place had a physical manifestation, this would be the closest thing to it.

The most important members of both families are here! No wonder you didn’t find them down below. On the bride’s side, all the members feel foreign to this country. On the groom’s side, all the members feel foreign to this planet. You try to walk straight ahead, but from the corner of your eye, you see him, he’s cackling, the abyssal voice of the Alien. He noticed something. Your identity maybe? He doesn’t do anything but laugh. Nobody twitches a muscle. No acknowledgment whatsoever. You’d say you noticed some bruises on him, but you aren’t sure how his species works. If everyone is ignoring him, you will too.

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>>6060524


At the actual altar, three people are waiting: Utami Ugolino, her equivalent from the Oexle Family (Anastasia’s father? Grandfather?), and the woman presiding the ceremony. They all look out of a medieval fantasy setting, or fairy tales, like the fucked up ones, not the ones from OSU movies. On closer look, they look a little sci-fi? You don’t know how to nail the style, but it fits the chapel.

Both heads of the family hand over the ring to their offspring. You thought this would be later, but what do you know? Your first marriage is better to be left forgotten.

“Your design looks more exquisite today, 70D4y, my dear progeny. I told you this day would arrive.” Utami caresses your face like only a mother could. Tears form on her upper eyelids. Still as freaky as in the bubble. “Y0ur m07h3r 1$ $0 pr0ud…” She hands you the ring. You feel like you stole a precious moment from Ugo, or maybe he hates his mom. It’s hard for you to say.

You walk over to the center of the altar, Wilma has all your attention now.

“Please, as requested by the groom’s mother, place your hand over the orb, and look your lover in the eyes.” The Pastor pulls a strange orb, like one from a fortune teller, in between you two. “It’ll determine how truthful your love is. It’s an old tradition from the Church of Beauty, milady.” She explains to Wilma because the pastor must believe that she’s a foreigner.

...You have never heard of it. What’s your knowledge good for? Or maybe this is a signal that this isn’t normal?

Anyway, you two place your hands on top of the orb, and it flashes with a light pink color! The Pastor is miffed but says that everything is in order. You hear Utami clap enthusiastically. After that you two read the vows, yours was supposed to be a weird rap song, but you performed it like the bad poetry it is. You could see Wilma trying not to die of laughter, but you survived this curveball. Wilma’s was nothing of note… If you’re heartless like Fiora! It was very cute and kinda generic!

After placing the ring on each other's hands, all that’s left is to kiss…

In other words, the easy part!

What do you do after the wedding is over?

>Meet with Fiora and (possibly) Odetta.
>Return to the dojo. Your work here is done. You shouldn't go back to the hotel with this getup, and finding more clothes and stuff would be cumbersome.
>Return to the dojo. Tell Fiora to bring Odetta’s ass there as well.
>Ask your new wife what she wants to do. It’s your fake honeymoon after all.
>Write In.

(Last Reply of the Day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>6060525
>Return to the dojo. Tell Fiora to bring Odetta’s ass there as well.
Job's done, time to regroup

>>6060525
>Ask your new wife what she wants to do. It’s your fake honeymoon after all.

>>6060525
>>Ask your new wife what she wants to do. It’s your fake honeymoon after all.

>>6060525
>Ask your new wife what she wants to do. It’s your fake honeymoon after all.

>>6060548
>Return to the dojo. Your work here is done. You shouldn't go back to the hotel with this getup, and finding more clothes and stuff would be cumbersome.
Maybe even talk to Matilda as well, it's been a while

>>6060525
>>Ask your new wife what she wants to do. It’s your fake honeymoon after all.

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The grand finale is upon you, the pastor declares you man and wife, and permission to smooch has been granted. With Wilma’s hands on yours, time and space feels trivial, you don’t know where you are, you don’t know what time it is, but you know what to do. And your threat becomes reality, you make her lips yours with an impassioned kiss! Wilma slowly retorts in kind, slowing down the pace, but somehow making it sweeter, the monstrous cheers can’t distract you from the affection you’re showing to one another. Everything about this is fake but this one moment, this one small fraction of the play.

You can’t tell how long it lasted, but sadly you can tell it is over. The smile awaiting you after you open your eyes fills you with an indescribable amount of joy. Wilma is red as a tomato, water makes things wet, yadda yadda. But there’s something about the way she’s blushing that feels joyfully unique…

Too bad you’re trapped inside a chapel with monsters to boot from a high-budget horror game! It’s trying hard to ruin the magic you’re feeling! But love dulls the senses, so you aren’t afraid! This is the part of the wedding where you frantically run away from your family and friends to your getaway vehicle! This couldn’t feel more appropriate!

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>>6061047


You escape with your adored wife in hand as you’re meant to do! Through the bombastic abyssal cheers, the loud music, and the fireworks, you hear him say:

“You remember me now, d0n’7 y4?”

Through the long stairway, the ballroom, the hotel halls, and into a limousine, you received acclamation from every guest, staff member, and passerby. From Utami, her hive, Anastasia’s family that could potentially perish, Cassantilda, Mr. California, Fiora, Ugo’s bartender, and others…

Inside the limousine, you receive shocking news, Ugo and his best friend are here! He’s aware of everything that has happened, he was informed during the wedding, and the driver as well (She’s Ugo’s childhood butler and seems fairly loyal to him.) They’re going to use the honeymoon tickets to have their own vacation together, they’re going to Yensidland, then ride a cruise! Sounds like fun! You wish it was your honeymoon…

They’re dropping you two wherever you want, then they’re leaving straight to the airport! The suit and the dress are yours now, Ugolino hands over some pocket money as thanks for saving his skin, and gives you his phone number. He said he got Fiora’s, but you think it was out of pity. Regardless, the limousine left the building immediately to not cause suspicion, and you received this info dumping during the ride. The two friends are too excited talking about their trip, and don’t seem to be paying attention to you anymore.

“So, what do you want to do, Wilma? It’s our honeymoon.” You joke as you finally can take the suffocating Ugolino mask off your face, and put on your glasses.

“There’s no need for a fake honeymoon.” Wilma half chuckles, she knows there’s no Yensidland in her drab future.

“I say it’s part of the package.” You continue jesting.

“All I can think of is that I want to take this off…” Wilma finds her dress a bit uncomfortable.

“Lewd.” You deadpan.

“…?!!!! That’s not what I meant...!” Wilma didn’t expect this accusation. “...You have no right to say that after you really went all out on the altar.”

“It was as I promised.” You adjust your glasses. You’re glad to have them back.

“…” Wilma is all red again. It wasn’t her brightest move to bring it up. “There’s one place I’d like to go…”

“Tell me.” You’re ready!

“The Mirror Summit.” Wilma proposes.

“In Baochang?” You recall it’s the place you found Galactic!

“No, it’s sister mountain here. Her exact reflection. I think that’s why they’re named like that.” Wilma doesn’t quite recall. “There’s a hostel I like to visit. I want to see the sun rise.”

Your phone is vibrating…

…

>>6061048

What do you do?

>Go to the Hostel with your new wife. Just the two of you.
>Bring everyone involved with the Hotel hijinks to celebrate a job well done! (+Matilda, Odetta, and Fiora.)
>Call absolutely everyone willing to get here, to come! Why the hell not?! (Chaos option.)
>Write In.

(Only reply of the Day, we continue tomorrow!)

>>6061052
>>Bring everyone involved with the Hotel hijinks to celebrate a job well done! (+Matilda, Odetta, and Fiora.)

>>6061082
+1

>>6061082
+1

>>6061052
>>Go to the Hostel with your new wife. Just the two of you.

>>6061082
+1

>>6061052
>Go to the Hostel with your new wife. Just the two of you.

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“Sure! Let’s call the others to celebrate a wedding well crashed.” You give your wife a thumbs up.

“Of course!” Wilma smiles. “But how? Should we ask Ugo for his phone?”

“I still have mine with me.” You pull it out. “Odetta, call the others and tell them we’ll be at a hostel in the Mirror Summit.”

“I’m not some AI assisting bullshit, you jerk. WE WERE RIGHT THERE, MAN! Why did we leave?!” Odetta shouts all furious.

“Odetta, Fiora is coming along. It’s fine.” You tell Odetta how silly she is for not going along with your master plan.

“Don’t gimme that crap!” Odetta grits her teeth.

“Jerk!” A Mini-O shouts.

“Dumbass!” Another Mini-O insults you.

“Assface!” The Choir of Mini-Os ends with that one. They all are consumed back into the real Odetta.

“Huh, I thought you would have them under control by now.” You scratch your cheek.

“I would have if I wasn’t so ANGRY.” Odetta puts it in simple terms.

“Idiot!” The Mini-O one says.

“Loser!” The Mini-O two says.

“Nerd!” The Mini-O three says.

“And you, over there, don’t think I’m not upset with you too!” The Little O points at the Tomato.

“H-Huh?” Wilma didn’t expect to be brought up.

“Moron!” A new Mini-O shouts.

“Jackass!” Another Mini-O insults Wilma. They pop out like moles.

“Dipshit!” The final one barks!

“H-Hey, quit it.” You frown.

“Now all together!” Odetta acts like she’s leading a choir.

“Fucking Pudding Head!!!” The Odettas lash out! They’re learning your weaknesses!

“…?!?!?!!!?!?!!!!!!” Wilma will never recover, she recoils! The other insults were worse in your opinion…

“Hey, you can insult me all you want, but don’t mess with my wife.” You act like a decent husband after the wave of insults is done.

“Nah, we’ll mess with her!” This Mini-O won’t show mercy.

“We’ll prank her!” This Mini-O will go lower.

“We’ll call her a silly goose!” This Mini-O will cross any line. “Because it gets you really mad!”

“And there’s nothing you can do about it, fucker!” Odetta says as she smashes every other ghost away. “Your actions have consequences and it’s payback time!”

“What if we apologize?” Wilma feels a little guilty.

“That’d be boring.” The Mini O shrugs..

“That’d be fine.” The other Mini O doesn’t choose violence.

“We’ll forgive you, I guess.” The final Mini O would be happy.

“Ah?! NO! IDIOTS!” Odetta slams them away. “You’re ruining my image! We can get a lot out of them if we make them feel guilty! They’re softies!”

You wonder why Odetta keeps shouting if the others are gone already.

>>6061565

What do you do?

>“I’m not a softie. I’m a hardass, tough love is the only way I operate.” You have an image to maintain too!
>Apologize to Little O. Promise to pamper her later.
>“Do the call, and we’ll pretend this never happened. Okay?” Negotiate.
>Write In.

>>6061566
>>“Do the call, and we’ll pretend this never happened. Okay?” Negotiate.

>>6061566
>“Do the call, and we’ll pretend this never happened. Okay?” Negotiate.
Hard bargain

>>6061566
>Apologize to Little O. Promise to pamper her later.

>>6061566
>>Apologize to Little O. Promise to pamper her later.
and to make her some pudding too.
cause we lost what we were bringing her

>>6061566
>>>“Do the call, and we’ll pretend this never happened. Okay?” Negotiate.

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“Do the call, and we’ll pretend this never happened. Okay?” You decide to negotiate.

“Thought you’d be the kind of guy who would beg on your knees for forgiveness.” Odetta is pleasantly surprised.

“For what it’s worth, we have your pudding with us.” Wilma has an apology box ready. She hid it in the same part of the dress where the money was.

“I don’t regret calling you a pudding head.” A Mini-O is in shock. She has no clue where she hid it.

“Thanks for the thought!” Another Mini-O cherishes this event.

“Enough of you, silly sprouts.” Odetta mocks Gerard’s voice to drag her mini twins to her body. “I accept these terms. Now call ‘em, and don’t forget to tell them to bring my body.”

The Odetta Assisting AI dials Fiora’s number, from there you invite everyone involved with the plan. It’s just Matilda, Odetta, and Fiora. Even if Fiora did absolutely nothing and doesn’t deserve to be here in any way, shape, or form. But you’re a benevolent man, so you’re just going to tease her about it for the rest of time. If you’re wondering about Ms. Cooldown, sadly, she has other business to attend to.

You’re dropped at the outskirts of the city proper, at the mid-mountain point where the hostel is located. It was a considerably long ride, but the airport isn’t far away from here, so it’s all good. Ugo, his friend, and the driver wish you good luck! You thank them for leaving you here instead of at the bus stop. Makes you feel all fancy.

You check in with the hostel reception and get a room with ease, it’s not a particularly busy season (You covered the cost with a small portion of Ugo’s money.) It’s built like a log cabin, just bigger and with modern touches here and there. There’s an air of mystery inside, like this is the perfect place for a murder mystery, but there is no time for more adventures. The receptionist makes some small talk after she’s done with the registration.

“Did you steal the bride? Or was your honeymoon on the back burner?” The woman with a familiar air to her asks with a smirk riding her face. You’ve seen someone like her before.

“How do you know it’s not a surprise wedding?” You cheekily raise your eyebrow. You know, like this is Casinopolis or something!

“...I don’t.” She didn’t know how to respond. Her entire aura of mysteriousness disappears with her lack of cleverness. She’s just a dumb receptionist! In a boring hostel!

“It’s nice to see you again, Edony.” Wilma smiles.

“I’m glad you have moved on.” The receptionist tries to get cheeky, but it doesn’t work now that you know she’s as much of a fraud as Fiora is.

“Oh, this isn’t what it looks like.” Wilma tries to play it cool. That sentence has never swung both ways like it is doing now. It’s both very true and a big fat lie.

“...Then what is it?” The receptionist doesn’t know what to do! She *wants* to know.

>>6061645


“It’s better if you don’t know.” Wilma grabs a piece of your playbook and decides explaining is not worth the effort. “I know my way. So, let’s go, Johnny.”

“Alright!” You cheerfully follow your beautiful wife and pretend this isn’t an illusion that you could’ve dropped already.

You rented two rooms next to each other, both for three people each. It would’ve been perfect if Ms. Cooldown was here, but you’re left with odd numbers. Either way, inside what you have randomly decided to be your room, there’s a change of clothes provided by the hostel.

The time to relax has arrived!

What do you do?

>Drop dead on the bed and wait for the others to arrive.
>Change into comfier clothes at once.
>Talk to Wilma about the wedding. Did she enjoy it?
>Ask Wilma why here.
>Bully Odetta until the others show up.
>Write In.

>>6061646
>>Change into comfier clothes at once.
>Talk to Wilma about the wedding. Did she enjoy it?

>>6061646
>Change into comfier clothes at once.

>>6061646
>>Change into comfier clothes at once.

>>6061645
Hey it’s either Phil’s minion Ronda or someone related to her.
>Change into comfier clothes at once.
>Talk to Wilma about the wedding. Did she enjoy it?

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You say goodbye to the Ugolino spiky suit! The moment to return to comfiness has arrived and you couldn’t be happier. Like in some sort of silent agreement, you two decide to change clothes at the same time without putting any emphasis on what you’re doing. A bit casual, maybe. But it’s better than going through the childish drivel of making sure the other is not watching and being all embarrassed about your bodies. You’re mature. You have done this plenty of times. You’ve been with plenty of women.

…

Not to say you didn’t get a glance. But Wilma doesn’t have to know that.

“Comfortable at last...” You conquer one of the beds for your pleasure. It has nice feathered pillows. You’re not used to it.

“Tell me about it.” Wilma smiles. She felt like she was showing too much skin.

“Did you enjoy the wedding?” You want to know your new wife’s feelings.

“It was terrifying.” Wilma shudders. “But as long as we were together, I knew we’d get through it.”

“Huh, I did rely on you a lot.” You thought she was the most confident of the two.

“...Well, couples give each other strength.” Wilma smiles and blushes a little. “We helped Anastasia and Ugo so it was all worth it.” Wilma hasn’t felt useful in a long time. “Aside from the nerves, it felt like a fever dream, didn’t it?”

“Absolutely, it felt like I was aboard a spaceship with terrors beyond my comprehension.” You won’t mince your words.

“They looked so strange!” Wilma agrees wholeheartedly. “Did you notice the guy hanging on the ceiling?”

“Huh? No?” You don’t know what she’s talking about.

“From a noose? I couldn’t stop watching him! All I could think of in the back of my head was I hope he doesn’t fall on us.” The tomato will never forget.

“I’m glad I didn’t notice…” You can’t imagine it.

There’s a little bit of silence.

“...You want me to bring up the kiss, don’t you?” Wilma asks.

Your phone is vibrating out of boredom.

How do you respond?

>“Sorry, if I went overboard. But you’re a cutie.” Wiggle your eyebrows.
>“I did as I told you.” Adjust your glasses.
>“No, but now that we’re talking about it, how do you feel?” It’s the moment you won’t forget. Okay, the entire sequence will never leave your mind, but it was a positive highlight.
>“You’ve gotten lewder with age...” Relentlessly tease the tomato.
>Bring out Odetta to talk.
>Write In.

>>6061688
>>“Sorry, if I went overboard. But you’re a cutie.” Wiggle your eyebrows.
Make it clear that we could see through the dumb disguise tho

>>6061688
>“Sorry, if I went overboard. But you’re a cutie.” Wiggle your eyebrows.

>>6061688
>“Sorry, if I went overboard. But you’re a cutie.” Wiggle your eyebrows.
Mommy

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“Sorry, if I went overboard. But you’re a cutie.” You wiggle your eyebrows.

“…” Wilma turns tomato with ease. “You’re such a jokester, I thought you were messing with me when you told me what you were going to do. It made me glad regardless.”

“I never mess around when something is this important.” You adjust your glasses. Your phone hectically bounces on the bed. You choose to ignore it.

“Yes, you do. But I like it.” Wilma loves your silly personality. She’s a first. You think. “I didn’t think I was different from the others, and with my appearance, I had more reasons to believe you were teasing me.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I could see through your make-up?” You scratch your cheek.

“…?! I did too!” Wilma confesses. “I couldn’t have reciprocated the way I did if all I saw was his face.”

“I thought you closed your eyes to imagine me.” You sound a little mean, but that was your plan as well. Anastasia is cute, but you knew she was Wilma!

“I feel like when I’m in your arms, I can always see you…” Wilma says. Huh, maybe it’s a side-effect of riding on your back for so long? She always sees your face upon contact? This makes no sense, why are you theory-crafting about it?

“It was as real a kiss as it gets.” Like you always thought.

“Johnny…” Wilma goes full tomato. “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” You gulp.

“All my memories have returned. It wasn’t the case when we came back…” Wilma looks down. “I said some things that weren’t true. Or should I say, I had a vision of myself that didn’t match reality. I’ve been single for years, and…” The vegetable reddens more somehow. “...there’s this one phrase that I said when you left that other dimension. A confession. Did you… Did you hear me?”

The Tomato is moving forward…

Sadly this is all we have for this thread! Thanks for playing! I’m taking a break this weekend, so see you next time whenever it is!

>>6061759
Thanks for running!