One of my favorites.

>>10103066

Still my favorite FYH story. Less "raaagh humanity is brutal" and more "fuck yes, we're the coolest motherfuckers in the universe."

>>10103066
Oh God that is amazing.

>>10103066

glorious.jpg

If you want "Humanity Fuck Yeah," check out Alan Dean Foster's "A Call to Arms." It's kind of stupid, but entertaining. Pages of aliens shitting themselves over discovering Earth.

"They have a moon? Oh fuck."
"What's this? More than two continents? Shiiiit."
"They don't speak the same language? There's hundreds of languages? Fuuuuck."
"They're stronger AND faster? Hold me."
"They're okay with violence? Fuck it, we're dead."

You guys might like this one as well

Great job, whoever's posting these.

Check out 3:16 (I think that's the name) sometime. It's basically Humans cleaning out the rest of the galaxy so we have more pretty places to live.

I saw this awhile back, this is a cool idea for a sci-fi campaign.

We... we won, didn't we Dan?

>>10103413
Yes. We won the battle to produce awesome end boss music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbDTaOrkVY0&fmt=18

>>10103413
yes, but at what cost? ;_:

>>10103408
Haha, that is amazing. Pretty much validates any aliens' opinion that "humans are insane" right from the start.

>>10103474
Oh, and it sounds like Inglorious Basterds In Space to me.

And this is the last one I've got, hope you guys enjoy these.

>>10103486
Overrated movie was fucking overrated.

HUMANITY FUCK YEAH

I love these threads. I'd be following this one more religiously if I wasn't busy making it happen in SotS.

HFY related.

GO FORTH AND CONQUER THE STARS

>>10103539
When I play SEV as Humans, I keep making plans for bigass warships with names like SS FUCKYOU and GLASSTOWN.

Then I get my ass kicked by stupid rat creatures or giant space jellyfish or whatever freak is closest.

>>10103480
I fucking love this one! I can feel the wonderful high that is Humanity Fuck Ya over take me!

>>10102892
Man, B5 had a ton of awesome quotes.

>>10103781
ICaim.jpeg

>>10103778

Nothing will beat:

"Only one human commander has ever survived a direct assault from a Membaran fleet. He is behind me. You...are in front of me."

>>10103440
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbDTaOrkVY0&fmt=18

This song is now the theme for humanity! All non-humans who hear this die instantly! All humans who hear this feel our collective powers! We are the Advent of holly Terra! We are death incarnate!

>>10103781
>Shred their bodies with a storm of lead
One problem; Imperial Guard use Las weaponry, not slug projectiles

>>10103885
I dunno, Ivanova's proclamation of how God sent her was pretty badass.

...then again, this series had an absolute ton of badass moments.

>>10103923
Yeah, so fucking true.

And Ivanova's is my second favorite, a very, VERY close second. Great call.

>>10103539
>chronicles the future "history" of mankind, from its conquest of a galaxy full of alien life, to the death of the last humans.

Shit, thinking about time in those terms is a mind-opener. Imagine what the galactic community would be like once the last human in existence, the last remnant of this mighty race that held all the galaxy in its hand, perishes forever, to be nothing more than a memory. A full cycle of the greatest measure.

It'd fill a star-system's worth of libraries.

>>10103885
Not even, "Who am I? I am Susan Ivanova, Commander. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart! I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you will ever see. God sent me."

>>10103923
>>10103967
Gah. Too much time spent reading the other stuff.

>>10103971
Nay! The last human will ascend to something greater! Humanity has only left this pitiful galaxy behind, because our collective eyes now set upon the universe!

>>10104034
Doctor Manhattan is the personification of humanity fuck ya!

inb4 the same fucking copypas..

Ugh. Fuck these threads

>>10104034
Fuck that shit! All Ascended Races are total douches or jackasses. Even with MY faith in humanity, I don't want to end up that way.


>>10103971
Indeed it would. Further, think of that history to aliens, aliens so alien to us that we couldn't communicate with them, did not interact with them, and basically ignored them.

Think of their scholars of the esoteric and odd, one of them is probably a Professor of Humanity. I bet we leave a legacy he'd find interesting.

I always liked this general line of thought for HFY:

You live in harmony with your worlds, a balanced relationship. Yours is the perfect marriage. Our planet? She is our fucking bitch. We OWN her. You leave so much untouched, untapped. We tapped that.

>>10104132
then don't open them faggot

>>10104135
Then I will leave you behind as I roam the stars. Your kind has unwittingly grated a god, and I am finished with my creators.

>>10104174
grated? was it filled with cheesy goodness?

did it go well on pasta?

>>10104164
>we tapped that.
I see what you did there. I like it.

>>10103971: >>10103539 here.

My favorites were Starship: [Mutiny/Pirate/Mercenary/Rebel/Flagship] series which is so awesome it's off the charts, and the Outpost+Santiago books, the ones that were basically space-westerns. Totally awesome. Finest kind.

>>10104174
Gods taste good on fettuccine.

>>10104174
grated a god? OH CRAP, WE PUT GOD IN THE CHEESE GRATER. FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUFUFUFUFUFFFFFFFFFFFFFF........

>>10104235
>>10104225
>>10104215
Cheesemind

>>10103480

>Implying that several other species on our own planet don't adapt the environment to suit them, and implying that this trait would not be necessary to achieve civilization among any species.

>>10104174
*you have unwittingly Created a god
fixed

YOU ARE NOW IMAGINING A SEXY GODDESS WITH GRATED CHEESE FILLING HER VAGINA! IT IS YOUR SACRED DUTY TO CLEAN IT FOR HER--WITH YOUR MOUTH!!!!!

>>10104299
Too late. A real god would not have made that mistake in the first place.

Don't worry, though. Humanity has no gods. Humanity needs no gods. We like you better as a super-powered, but not omni-everything individual.

>>10104334
lol'd and that is aweomse

>>10104334
What type of cheese? I mean I can only a

>>10104334
can i just shake her up and down till it falls in my pizza crust?

>>10104334
I'm lactose intolerant.

>>10104363
IF YOU ALLOW YOUR SALIVA TO MIX WITH THE CHEESE AND VAGINAL FLUID INSIDE OF HER PUSSY, AND EAT IT ALL...

YOU WILL BECOME IMMORTAL!

>>10104436
But she's all naked and stuff. Vaginas are icky.

>>10104334
Cheese is made with mold, so... No, I don't want to go anywhere near that vag.

>>10104450
HER VAGINA IS ALSO FILLED WITH APHRODISIAC!

>>10104475
And centipedes.

>>10104453
THE CHEESE IS MADE FROM HER BREAST MILK!

>>10104517
The only difference now being that the milk that got moldy came from her body.

Still not touching it.

>>10104363
YOU CAN DO THIS WITH HER LOLI DEMIGODDESS SISTER. BUT THE DIVINE POLICE WILL ARREST YOU!

>>10104495
Centipedes? In God's vagina?

HFY when done to try to control the rest of the universe is just pandering to the worst flaws of the race. The proper means for humanity to better itself is to improve its own character.

>>10104541
You should try it. Its delicious!

>>10104550
>itsmorelikelythanyouthink.jpg

>>10104556

Damnit Exalted, we had a perfectly good Derail going here and your ass ruined it.

>>10104556
if we're the only ones left alive our character is by definition the best in existance

>>10104556
Well, you see,
no one fucking cares about you exalted. if you think for one SECOND anon is going to help you your wrong big time chump cuz annon does not care at all. i hope next time you smoke you cough so much you die durg addict looser. here at tg we want you to suffer and well laugh at you the whole way so gtfo faggot and take your fail with you because we dont EVER want you here again. I am one of the big shots at tg u could say and I want you fucking gone. you dont want to fuck with any annons bcause were gonna make your life hell if you do. never forget or forgive so you have been warn. stay away from 4chan tg or your face the consequeuences and I fucking know your not gong to like them when your info is plastered on the web so fuck you NEWFAF

>>10104334
ITT: A very, very fucking awesome campaign idea!

>>10104585
I like the cut of your throat sir. And since you are dead now, I am superior.

Please get this thread back on track.

I'm saving this images to show to writer friend of mine who wants to make a scifi novel.

>>10104556
Are you scaredofshadows' brother or something?

>get bored with the usual .jpgstories

>leave for a while, then return to see if any new stuff has been posted

>find divine centipede cheese vagina that grants immortality

You guys are blowing my mind here.

BLOWING

MY

MIND

>>10104628
Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Centipede-Vagina of Immortality.

I'd watch it.

>>10104628
OUR GODDESS HAS GRANTED YOUR AUDIENCE AND IS NOW SPREADING HER HOLLY LEGS! EAT WELL BROTHER!

>>10104686
She has legs made of holly? So her vagina's poisonous?

>>10104697
no, her vagina is cheese

>this thread's derail

>>10104697
IT IS POISONOUS FOR DEMONS, BUT NOT IMMORTALS AND MORTALS!

>>10104705
There's holly in it, though.

>>10104697
Her legs are made of holly, but her vagina is not. You must be precise in your cheese-seeking Cunnilingus. (Why does Mozilla have that in the basic spellchecker?)

>>10104734
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVolqamEQy4&feature=PlayList&p=A305AD40F1CFEF8B&playnext_
from=PL&playnext=1&index=8

>>10104734
superman is in dismay?

wut?

>>10104750
no, those are her legs

>>10104761
But holly's spiky and it will hurt.

>>10104771

>>10104789
The holly would have got in it, though. I mean, where do the legs end, really?

>>10104794
SHE CAN TAKE THEM OFF. SHE LOST HER REAL ONES IN THE GOD WARS AND NEEDS MORE SPERM DOWN HER THROAT SO SHE CAN REGENERATE THEM!

>>10104855
So she eats babies? MONSTER.

ITT /tg/ goes from HFY copypasta to talking about a goddess with a vagina that you can eat cheese from and become immortal, who has holly legs she as replacements for those she lost in the god wars.

Never change /tg/. Never change.

>>10104880
CE goddess.

>>10104899
i'm just sad that i can't use her for pizza toppings

also, you forgot the god that actually WAS cheese which humanity grated down completely

>>10104933

I knew I forgot something.

>>10104931
EVERY SPERM IS SACRED

>>10104933
His cheesy remains is what fills Our Goddess's vag. Now I must be eat more cheese . Nom om nom!

Okay, I'm a pretty terrible writefag, but I'll try something out anyways.
Humans, my progeny, are one of the most dangerous things in the galaxy. You may not understand this, but it is true.

All life forms that have joined the galactic community have, at some point in their existance, realized the folly of emotion. An important tool when fighting for survival on a savage and untamed world, they quickly become a hindrance when a species invents weaponry that can devastate a planet. At this point, most species come to the conclusion to voluntarily remove emotions entirely, so that such weapons will never be used by someone unstable. With logic as a guiding principle, war often is reduced to a thing of the past, and the galactic community becomes a thing of peace. That changed with the arrival of the humans.

>>10105863
Species that do not remove emotion quickly bring about their own end. Not the humans. Whether through dumb luck or something more, they endured. Twice their emotions almost made them eradicate all life on their planet with terrible weapons, and twice they managed to avoid that fate. The fact that they managed to survive long enough to create FTL drives surprised the galaxy. Surprised and unnerved. These fools had evaded destruction twice - but only barely. Nothing was to say that the next time, they would come through yet again. With yet more dangerous technology now within their grasp, they could become a threat not only to themselves, but to anything else in a system they came near.

The Nar'an'toth decided that they would wipe out humanity for the safety of the galaxy. This decision was approved of by the council of sentient races. Their ships soon rained destruction on human worlds, efficiently wiping out all signs of life from the planets. They were systematic, thorough, and methodical. And this was their downfall.

Joy, fear, love, anger, hate, happiness. Emotions are illogical things. We who have discarded them make all decisions on logic, which has saved us from so many disasters. However, the presence of emotions does not exclude the presence of logic. We long ago forgot the how and why of things enacted by the emotional, but the humans could understand the workings of the logical. Thus was the Nar'an'toth's fall; the humans could figure out what a Nar'an'toth wold do in battle, but they themselves were completely unpredictable.

>>10105878
Though the beginning of the war made it seem as if it would be ended quickly, it quickly became prolonged. The humans' weapons were aimed with rage and fear, attacking in places that were unexpected. Their maneuvers were erratic, sometimes clever feints, sometimes folly. While the Nar'an'toth could make no sense of it, the humans easily predicted and parried many of the Nar'an'toth's attacks.

Eventually, the war was over. The humans stood victorious, and glassed the homeworld of the Nar'an'toth. For reasons unfathomable, they continued to wreak destruction upon the planet until all that remained was a sphere of magma in the depths of space. They then proceeded to destry all traces of the Nar'an'toth they could find in the galaxy. We did not aid the Nar'an'toth, not wishing to draw the now powerful military might of the humans upon us.

Emotions are strange, emotions are dangerous, emotions are unpredictable. We have never again attempted to wage war with the humans. Just as our logic tells us.


...and that's it. Sorry I subjected you to that crappy writing.

>>10105863
>>10105878
>>10105894
Meh writing was meh.

>>10105013
no, the cheese is made from her own breast milk

bump

>>10106281
And she gave it life. Thus was the cheese god born! He attempted to aid humanity, only to find they have lost all respect for gods and thus grated him.

>>10107050
>Case
Transhumanity Fuck ya!

>>10107145
>brain case
fixd

Bump in the name of Humanity!

iv missed these threads. so awesome, leme go look for somthing that hasnt been posted yet

>>10103272
problem aliens?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEj-Q1eGtTo

even called the dawn of humanity

>>10103408
This is my next traveller campaign.

>>10103272
Why weren't we effected by the veil? I

>>10107948
Because we are inherently insane so it doesn't really bother us.

>>10107987
I now feel very giddy inside. Is this a good thing?

>>10107994
That is your instinctual love of humanity doing it's work. Also, bump!

bump dammit bump!

MORE.

and has this thread been archived yet?

>>10108172
why would it be archived. All of it is kopipe.

>>10108201
It's stored on my hard drive.

>>10108480
If that doesn't bring a tear to your eye, then you are made of fucking STONE.

>>10108480
This would be... A cool setting.

>>10108480
That is very different from the standard FYH material...

>>10108532
Humanity becoming a sort of guardian to developing races across the galaxy is pretty awesome.

Iron Tribe here, committing righteous genocide against those who have kept us down for so many generations.

bump

>>10108618

It's cool though, once our leader realised we were orbitally barraging a world full of their spawning pools and not military facilities she put a stop to it. Stupid aliens really need to mark these things clearly.

>>10108613
>Its 5:00 AM. I'm a shitty writefag, get used to it.

[Rough draft]
Once we were like you. Once we too were slaves to our urges, hunting and slaughtering one another in pointless wars. But there is more to our nature than this. A noble instinct, ever keeping oblivion at bay. It was this that allowed us to set aside our differences; advanced our bodies beyond what nature could yield, achieve godhood.

And this is in you.
We are Humanity.
Fear not little ones, for we are here...

>Edit/fix this shit!

>>10108773

Still for all the animu flaws of Heroic Age, I did kind of like how humans were the only race of the main space faring species to actually have a emotional attachment to their homes.

The Bronze Tribe were made up of zerg-like aliens who only used their origin world to spawn new batches of bugs, they didn't consider that humans would find value in attacking their origin world when better military targets existed.

The Silver Tribe, a race of purely telepathic and telekinetic beings had long ago abandoned their home world as it no longer held resources leaving only a single member of their race who stayed there to hold on to the rest of their species mental anxieties. Her entire purpose seemed to be to help them deal with their fears and worries, otherwise the entire race governed themselves with a telepathic collective. Again, they didn't understand why Humanity went for their origin world when it held zero importance to them.

bump

>>10108907
the thing i liked most was the fact that humanity ignored the golden tribes call, which would have granted them spaceflight

they basically said " fuck you, we're doing this our way!" to the most powerful people in existance

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>>10108907
>>10109120

What anime show is this?

>>10109152
Heroic Age, it's pretty good.

"Repulsor systems at twelve percent! We are not going to be able to hold Kol-Sarag!" barked Kark.

"Keep firing, keep firing!" roared the snakelike Vore commander, his facial scales bristling with anger. "We are NOT going to fall to those kals'hak or Beloved Mother be praised I will kill you all myself, is that clear?!"

"Yes Commander!" was Kark's rapid reply. His three graspers navigated the organic console in front of him with a grace that couldn't be replicated by the most delicate Avnari ballet dancer. poured more energy into the positronic beam cannons aboard the Sterakin-class battlecruiser Kol-Sarag. The ship itself was similar to the Vore who crewed it, a long, thin frame with three long arms and a slender, elegant head, with armor plates in the shape of the scales all Vore had in lieu of skin. Most interestingly, it appeared organic, and it was. The ships were grown in large vats around the Vore home planet of E'ma Ma'ca. Despite its appearance of fragility, the ship was capable of dealing out a lot of punishment, and absorbing it in kind.

The kals'hak Sundroids were unloading enormous amounts of plasma energy into the Vore fleet and things were looking dire. The scales along Kark's neck folded back in panic as an explosion rocked the ship and strobing blue lights bathed the bridge in an unearthly glow. An internal communication device began screaming. "Sundroids have infiltrated! Sundroids have infiltrated!" The wet slithering sound of Vore footsoldiers moving rapidly could be heard in the nearby corridors, and the staccato bursts of repeating hand-held positronic rifles filled Kark with a glow of hope, that he might yet survive.

That glow was rapidly snuffed out by the odd tingling feeling that tore through every member of the ship's bridge. Sundroids were firing their weapons. They emitted no sound that any normal Vore could hear, but the unique dissipation of the weapons was, to say the very least, unconfortable.

>>10109239

But in the end, Sundroid Pulse Cannons were nothing compared to the fury that was about to be unleashed on the ship. Blue arcs of what some other species' dubbed 'electricity' cracked through the corridors and made the previously uncomfortable experience of Sundroid pulse weapons seem like a warm skyrest in comparison. The blue warning lights went dark. Every system in the ship rapidly shut down. "What is happening?!" demanded the Commander.

"I do not know, I do not know!" cried Kark. "Everything is dead. Kol-Sarag is dead! We have to leave!"

The Commander had had enough. He pulled out his positronic blaster and shot Kark right in the center eye. "We are NOT leaving." He turned to the rest of the crew. "Get systems up and running or you will share his fate!"

The crew of the Kol-Sarag darted into action. "Kol-Sarag is still alive, Commander," said one analyst, "but she is wounded. She is processing nitrogen for us once more so we can breathe, and we have internal communication, but anything else will be difficult."

"Sir!" came a cry from deep within the ship, but the noise came from right next to the commander. "The sundroids are dormant! Whatever happened, they have deactivated!"

Before the Commander could respond, one crewmember piped up, panicked. "By the Beloved Mother, what is that?"

>>10109251

For a fighter, it was huge. It would have been more apt to describe it as a bomber. It looked to be a cobble of mechanical parts loosely welded together to form what looked like a stunted shark in front of them. Already slightly taller than it was long, and very thin, the vessel had two wings swooped forward like a bird of prey on each side, and huge fins on the top and below the ship made it a very tall ship with a very narrow profile. External hardpoints containing all sorts of technological munitions opened up on the Sundroid vessel in front of them, the projectiles completely bypassing the energy repulsors and ripping giant holes in the ship, arachnid Sundroids began pouring from the wound.

"External communications restored. We are receiving a message."

The Vore had a very effective translator package, but the suicidal pilot of that vessel was speaking in tongues. "Take that, you mother-{engaging in sexual intercourse} piece of {animal droppings}-for-brains! Shove it up your {rear bodily orifice used for excretment}. Kol-Sarag, you're in the clear! Get your ship up and running and help us take down these {one who engages in masturbation}s!"

"They cripped Kol-Sarag!" came the mournful howl of another member of the bridge crew. "Why?"

The Commander had served alongside humans before. He knew why. And, grudgingly, he was grateful they had showed up as a much, much larger vessel of similar design as the human bomber came into view. "If they had not, we would all be dead. You, me, Kark, Kol-Sarag, all of us."

Humanity. They were kals'hak, infidels, and a blight upon the precious Beloved Mother, but they were effective.

>this thread

>>10109239
>>10109251
>>10109258
Fukken SAVED.

bump

i love this stuff

This thread will not die!

bump

>>10109793

It's nice to see people like my bits of writefaggotry here and there. I can already see a few things I want to touch up. Man, I hate being a perfectionist. :(

How to summarize a war? Any war? The feints, the thrusts, the endless positional maneuvers of attack and counter attack, furious defense and blistering advance. The General in me almost finds it abhorrent to reduce all these tactics, the strategy into almost nothing. But the Historian in me knows otherwise. And my superiors force me to it.

So, how to summarize a war? I do not know, but I will try.

We struck first. That much is clear. It was some petty dispute, some minor inconvenience. They were a fresh face to the galactic community, only having just established their membership to the rest of the galaxy. We were Ancient, part of the hallowed 3rd Founding. We were part of the Triumvirate, friends and allies with the Auspicious Governance of Tirul and the Church of the Holy Magnitude. Together with us, the United, we were the three major powers in the universe.

There were no fleets our equal, no enemy that we could not best, no mind that was our match. We three blazed a path through the endless Hives of the Pestilence, we fought back the Invasion of the Inner Rim Collective, we fought for your rights in battle time and time again.

Some would rather forget the reason for the war began, rather feign ignorance than admit stupidity. I will tell you. It was over nothing. We asked them for supplies, they gave all that was reasonable. We asked for more, they refused. Angry and prideful, we took what we could snatch. Resentful and spiteful, when we were convinced they were holding back we punished them.

That was a mistake.

>>10111026

It was a mistake to destroy their civilian fleet, resting in orbit. It was a mistake to incinerate their surface, driving the populace into the nooks and cranies of the world that had given them birth.

It was a mistake to gloat. To call all their leaders together and force them to burn the flag, the symbol of their united endeavor as a species towards the stars, and then kneel as they signed a peace treaty to a war they hadn't started.

That day, we stole their dignity. Victors then, there was no way we could foresee what was to come.

It began quietly. Their leaders played their role, stowing away their broken pride and played the fool. They amused us with their bickering and their willingness to play the servant, apologizing for our mistake and pretending to pander to our every whim.

It was not long until the cracks in their facade began to appear.

>>10111079

Go on...

>>10111111
>>10111079

I concur. Please continue.

Also, 111111 get. :P

>>10111026
>>10111079

Good sir, this is going somewhere, and I would like to see where.

>>10111244
Agreed, F5-ing like the motherfucking Fist of the North Star

>>10111307

I don't think he's finishing, it's been 30 minutes...

>>10111357

Don't say that!

You have to BELIEVE!

>>10111079
>>10111026
How could you leave it like this?

>>10111079

A week after the Incineration of Sol-3, an outer boundary mining planet under human control stops producing steel.

2 weeks after the glassing of Earth's surface, an orbital ship yard in the outer boundaries of the Human Solar System refuses entry for a Kil'Shaik Military Transport, citing Full Capacity.

3 Weeks after what will soon after be called Destruction Day, Picket Vessels of the Watchful Order report an increase on interstellar traffic inside the human solar system, citing such large numbers we dismiss it out of disbelief.

We had a month. A month to pick up on the build up, the mobilization of trillions of willing soldiers, the construction of a fleet so large that you could not spot the stars through the ships.

One month before the entirety of the human race declared honestly and openly their intent for war.

It was to be a war like no other.

We dragged the lesser races in, kicking and screaming, to their own doom. They threw themselves into the cauldron of war that had become the Human Front, more terrified of the triumvirate at the back than the human guns at the front.

The first triumvirate protectorate fell within a week, within 31 days a full 10 species had been forced to make peace at gun point by their human conquerors. Infuriated by what they saw as their weaker subordinates, the Church of the Holy Magnitude called a Crusade, to crush the inferior human fleets and to show the lesser races just how it was done.

It was 6 months into the Crusade that it was evident that the Holy Magnitude was tackling with a beast far beyond its capabilities. Still they struggled on, not willing to risk their position in the Triumvirate. It was 9 months before the Origin Cathedral on their most sacred planet was captured and it took a year for them to plea for aid.

>>10111427
wait what? one month after the humans are roundly fucked, they suddenly have billions of ships able to defeat all the races in the galaxy..?

>>10111427

Tirul had been occupied, problems within its own borders threatened the security of the Triumvirate and it claimed it could do nothing until it had reestablished control.

It would only be later that these very same dissidents would be revealed to be firing Terran Munitions, armed with Earth Guns and flying in Ships produced by Terra Nova Ship Yards.

Baked in the juices of dissent that the Government of Tirul had planted so long ago, the very populace they had sought so hard to control finally spiraled beyond their means.

The systems under their control were all at once revealed to be in the grip of a massive, anarchic civil war as the differences between the forces under their command finally came undone.

The Triumvirate was no more, as the representative for Tirul was forced to come home to answer for crimes against the state, the Bishop for the Holy Church had thrown himself against the crucible of war and had been found wanting, his warship the Inviolable crashing against the steel wall of human lances and cannon batteries.

Only we were left to answer for crimes that were committed not so long ago.

>>10111495
>expecting an HFY story to make sense and not be shit

>>10111495

I'm going to second this, the build up was really good but the end is just " HUMANS BLOW STUFF UP CAUSE WE'RE AWESOME! "

Still pretty good though.

>>10111495
I'm assuming that Humans had a huge difference in soldier/civilian ratio. Then they ALL decided to get shit done.

But yea, kind of a plothole there.

>>10111548
It takes 8 years to produce a aircraft carrier.

It took japan 10 years to recover it's economy after WWII, and that's with America supplying free food and the governemnt buying almost a quarter of it's exports.

Your timescale needs fixing.

>>10111545
>>10111548
I was expecting some kind of political/terrorism based fightback, which I think could be pretty awesome if done right.

This is how you do FYH

>>10111516

No matter, we were convinced that we were ready.

Armed for war and eager to prove our superiority, we surged to action.

Their ships, produced by the millions, were like cannon fodder for our deadly Line Cruisers, their empty husks left burning and lifeless in the void of space.

Their ground forces were annihilated, defense after desperate defense by the unstoppable advance of United Infantry.

First an hour of a success, then a day. It was then that the secret to the human stratagem was revealed. Even after a hundred victories, fresh human fleets roared to action from the Terran Reserve undaunted if not inspired by the sacrifice of their comrades. Millions of human conscripts died in the muck and mire of United Territory, only to be replaced by another willing soldier.

Even as we struggled against exhaustion, fresh humans fought onwards. Even as our guns clicked empty and our cannons warped under the heat of constant firing, fresh human cruisers moved to the attack.

The advance stalled. The attack became a defense. And soon, all too soon, the bright successes of the first day were swallowed the the night.

We are alone. Adrift. Fading away.

Traversing the endless void towards a destination hopelessly out of our reach.

The sepia history: The paradise we lost. The Armageddon. Then, the Arc. The Convoy. The long Exodus. The promised land. The hunters.

The Hunters.

The monochrome present: Hunted down. Pursued. Few. Prey. Herd. Fading, ever fading away. Soldiers dying, civilians taking their place. Conscripts getting younger, ever younger. Running out of food. Running out of spare parts. Systems shutting down. Attrition. Riots. Despair. Sealed off sections left to fend for themselves. We still hear them sometimes, hitting on the bulkheads, pleading in Morse code. Until one day they no longer are.

Yet the Arc moves still.

The black future: Sooner or later the uppercut awaits. The final, eternal darkness at the end of all things. It is somewhere ahead. We know. We will not reach the Eagle Nebula. They will not let us.

The monochrome present again: Foolishly holding on to the spark of life because what else can you do? Carefully shielding a flickering flame from gusts of wind, knowing the hurricane is drawing near. Because that's what I was born to do. And because noone else will.

And as the cruel, unreachable stars mock us with their permanence... as the whole canopy of the galactic sky looks down upon us and sings to us the last lullaby, the final lament, the eulogy for a mere footnote in the galactic history...

We move still.

That klaxon again. My squadron being called up. Another day, another sortie. Until the day that I die.

Because what else can you do?

And because we owe it to the long lost blue planet that gave us birth, that we left behind, that died and is no more and will never be again.

...

What? This is a "humanity fuck YEAH" thread? I thought it was "humanity fuck YOU". Oh well. I am sure no harm will come of it.

>>10111682

I like it.

>>10111682
technically one could call that humanity fuck yeah.

those fuckers aren't giving up.

>>10111682
Sounds a lot like Warhammer 50k gone horribly wrong.

But fuck me sideways if it wouldn't make a great campaign setting.

>>10111682
>the Arc. The Convoy.
This reminds me of Doom 2. If doomguy had failed to destroy hell, but still managed to turn off the shields stopping the survivors of earth to escape.

Being chased by demons across the galaxy? FUCK YEAH

How to do Humanity Fuck Yeah: Be John Ringo.

You'll be just as shitty, but at leasy you'll get paid.

>>10111636

Casualty numbers that belied belief. Resources that would have fed our entire arm of the galaxy twice over were thrown on the meat grinder.

The tale of the first Galactic War is one of suffering on a scale that is personally impossible to comprehend. A human general said it best, that all the sand on all the beaches in all the universe would still not account for all the sentient lives that have been lost.

Desperate to find the source of unending human production, high command sent agents deep into human space. What they uncovered was remarkable.

Even as they had introduced themselves, they already had a reputation as miners. Natural resources, these the humans had in abundance. All they needed was the technology to reach these resources and these we gladly supplied. Our greed to exploit these new traders and miners was only matched by their ambition.

Oh and what that ambition has produced.

Entire planets had been hollowed out, little more than floating factories and hab blocks. Rock and dirt had made way for steel walls and metal girders. Underground factory and living complexes that wove its way underneath the surface, exploiting the core of stars to fuel the industry of man.

Hollowed Out Moon Factories, Floating Asteroid Bases and Planets with Tapped In Cores, once used to fuel the climb of the flourishing Terran Dollar in the interstellar economy was now the life blood of their all encompassing war effort. It seems, even the flesh of stars are not safe in the spirit of human endeavor.

We had torched the surface of their home world but we would have been better served cracking every planet under their control instead.

>>10111970

Due to our incompetence, a full 1/5th of the galaxy that was once under Triumvirate control now lies under human hands in the space of a war that has only taken 2 years. The rest of the galaxy burns in their wake, and we will be the last ones of the old order to watch the fires rage.

It is to my understanding that Picket Line A-2 has been breached. I have been told to tell you to lift all arms in defense of the home system.

All men, women and adolescents capable of holding and operating small arms are required to report to their nearest drill station and prepare for planetary invasion.

The humans are coming.

-Last Public Broadcast by the United Government before Assault Group Orion exploited breaches in United's Last Line of Defence.

Aww, hell. I'll give it a try.


They said our war with the Humans would be an easy one. For a time, they were right.
Their initial push was world-shattering. Millions of beings, armed with energy weapons ocmparable to ours, driving in a straight push into the heart of

out empire. They called it a Lightning War.

But we fought back. The great cloning vats on Home produced hundreds of millions of soldiers, and our biotechnology soared to new heights of power. Though

the Human advance pushed on, we were slowly wearing them away. The casualties came to number in the trillions on both sides, but still they pushed

forwards. Until they reached Home. The fleets of the System Defence Force, in a stunning display of tactics, beheaded the Human fleet, sending them back

from whence they came. A small remnant of the Human force was gorunded on a distant asteroid in the Belt, unable to fight back.

Our victory firm, we were determined to humiliate Humanity for what they had done. We did not kill the Humans on the asteroid; we merely blockaded them,

showing the whole galaxy the futility of standing against us. They were contained, emprisoned on the surface of the asteroid, guarded by some of the most

devastating firepower we could possibly imagine.

For twenty long cycles, nothing happened. Until the day our probes detected a massive explosion on the asteroid's surface. It destroyed the enicrcling

defensive forces, and sent a chunk of rock more than eighty folds in diameter hurtling towards home. We desperately to halt it, but we could not stop more

than three billion foldweights of mass. In the last moments before the rock hit Home, every ship in the system recieved an automated transmission, somehow

shielded against the infernal radiation that veiled the rock. It was two words, uncoded, in Human.

"FUCK. YOU."

>>10112441

I lol'd

>>10112441
Rocks are not free, Citizen!

>>10112441
Best story in this thread.

>>10112441
FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU

>>10112441

>>10112441
Ah, the default human solution to almost everything: Throw a rock at it and see if it dies.

>>10114604
Served us pretty well, so far.

My greatest desire in life is to become immortal by any means necessary.

>>10114629
No, I think you'll find that

>>10111495
Actually only said they waxed a civilian fleet in orbit and glassed our homeworld. No mention of military actually being involved or how widespread humanity was. Sounds like they pretty much up and glassed our homeworld for not paying them enough tribute and thought it would be fine. Fuckers.

>>10116079
>glassed our homeworld
...bastards ;_;

>>10116162
Yeah, there is a very good reason that we like those guys so much.
Hiigaranity, fuck yeah. ._.

>>10116386
Fuck Taiidans.

>>10111026
>>10111079
>>10111427
>>10111516
>>10111636
>>10111970
>>10112035
Fukken SAVED.

>>10116386
>Hiigaranity, fuck yeah.

'They awoke. We didn't at first believe it, but they awoke. The four thousand year old treaty prohibiting them from developing hyperdrive technology was being violated now, and the bloodthirsty pepetrators of the last great galactic conflict, the slayers of billion were gaining access to the galaxy once again. We had to stop it.

We seend a part of our fleet to their planet, to destroy all orbital facilities and bun the planet so nothing could survive. Their defenses, although unsophisticated, prooved a considerable nuisance, and after the mission our fleet had to withdraw to nearest asteroid belt to reorganize and resupply. Only few frigates remained in the orbit of the burning wasteland of a planet to locate and exterminate any survivors.'

>>10118530
'Our allies, the Turanic Raiders were sent to deal with the crude mothership the scourge created. Anything they managed to salvage was their for the taking, no questions asked from the Imperial authorities. First, they set a trap with one of the more primitive vessels destroyed earlier. When the enemy arrived, they lanched a full scale attack with one of their famous carrier raiding parties. But something went wrong.

The carrier, alone and batterd, returned to nearest Turanic outpost. Hangar bays were empty. Unmoved by this fiasco of our allies, we planned our next step on how to deal with the survivors. The plan was simple - as soon as the strike group is ready for redeployment, we will jump to the enemy last known position and deal with them.

The meeting of the strike group's captains regarding next course of action was still in progress when we lost contact with the force we left in Kharak's orbit to deal with anything that survived the mayhem.

From that small pack of frigates, there was no one left. Everything's gone.'

>>10118736
The plot thickens.

>>10118736
'The captains were still arguing over what happened, when we discovered incoming jump signatures nearby, just a couple of ships. Some of their signatures matched those of our ships, while others matched those of new Hiigaran design.

They stole them. They stole our ships sent to Kharak. Slaughtered the crew, reprogrammed ships computers and were now using them against us. They even managed to redesign and build one of their own.

The battle only lasted few hours. First they sent salvage corvettes protected by several wings of fighters, to salvage our resource operations. We couln't scramble our fighters fast enough, we didn't expect any trouble here.

We lost almost all of our resource operations to the enemy. Hiigaran crafts disengaging only when nothing was to be gained from the fight.

Although repairs were not finished, with resupply operations crippled the commander of our strike group ordered to form ships in standard Taiidani battle formations. Assault Frigates on the first wave, remaining destroyers behind them and a carrier providing fighter support last. A force adequate to deal with their rag-tag fleet.

We underestimated them. They had nothing to loose. With their civilisation destroyed, with their planet a burning wasteland, the had only one goal now. Hiigara. And we were in their way.

>>10118530
>>10118736
>>10119037

>>10119037
'First, they sent fighters. They danced aroud our capital ships, while we tried to fend them off, then when we were busy they sent their own frigates. But not to destroy our own, oh no, that would be too kind of them. Their capital ships didn't even fire a shot at our own, they just passed them, deployed around our destroyers and started firing on them. Our assault frigates turned around to provide some support to our heavier ships, while our fighters were in the middle of a pretty even fight. That's when their second wave arrived.

Two dozen of interceptor class vessels quickly disposed of most of our strike craft, and the remnants had to retreat to the elusive-safety of the carrier. The enemy frigates and our destroyers were pretty badly damaged though, but at this rate it would be our forces that'd emerge victorious from this engagement.

It was then, when we were too busy with their frigates and fightercraft we noticed something wrong. Our frigates stopped firing, and were drifting slowly in the direction of the enemy mothership. While we were busy with battle, they moved several of their salvage corvettes and immobilized most of our frigates, the few that managed to avoid capture being destroyed.

Now, no backup, our destroyers tried their best to hold the line, managed even to destroy two their frgates, but not enough to make much of a difference. Backed with fighter support they made short work of our ships, nothing standing betwen the bulk of their forces and the lonely carrier trying it's best to charge his hyperdrive while on maximum output from it's sublight engines.

>>10119295
yees and then ?

>>10119485
it takes him 15-20 mins to write stuff up. wait and let the man breathe.

>>10119295
'Not long passed until they caught up with us, surrounded us and opened fire. Slowly. Deliberately. Enjoying the moment. We tried our best to mount resistance, but our hull was not designed to take such battering.

We scrambled last of our fighters, even the ones that were not repaired yet, just to buy us some more time until the hyperdrive would be ready to jump. They were all slaughtered.

When we ran out of ships, we used our guns as best as we could, but there was no hope they could turn the tide of battle to our favour. We knew we were doomed.

We were loosing hull integrity fast. Deck after deck, section after section, we were venting air, fires consuming us from inside where there still was air. Red lights were popping up everywhere, deck after deck, section after section, less and less of lifesigns detected. Their guns pounding, neverending thunder...

-Captain Fergusson, last log

We should have been concerned. We felt the humans were a species of disunity capable only of casting rocks at themselves and squabbling over their hierarchies of divinity. Their history was pockmarked with crusade after jihad after crusade after exodus after insurrection of zealots of a thousand names doing just that: casting stones at those that disagreed. Where other species rose as one, humans were fragmented into thousands of arbitrary segregations.

We should have been concerned.

Humanity cast itself from its biosphere into what they felt was a void. Their technology was primitive, bound to a rough three dimensions; the fourth was the limiter of their perception. We existed in the fourth and fifth, and made no passes at the sixth as that was our limit. We knew our limit and we respected it as such. The humans did not seem to believe in limits. They treated them as obstacles, merely transient, arbitrary concepts; they drew hard lines between the existent and subsistent, and paid no respect to the subsistent outside their ambitions.

>>10121167
Their senses and view of energies was pathetically limited. They had no conception of gravity beyond what its effect was on their limited dimensions, pulling objects of three dimensions toward other objects of three dimensions relative to their massiness (which was a product, again, of matter 'existing' in only three dimensions).

When they freed themselves from what they saw as gravity's hold on 'their' biosphere and began planting themselves elsewhere in what they saw as 'their' solar system, we felt we had to stop them. They did not see the slow death of their relevant third dimension of planet as a limit. Like the other species, we felt, they should accept this limit and die.

We destroyed their colonies and some thousands of colony ships (taking with them much of their species), and sent them a simple message in a language they could decode:

>>10121185
"We exist in the gravitic, which you do not understand. We are part of a higher set of dimensions, which you do not understand. We are alone in this Paradigm. Only we understand.

Planetary species are meant for their own planets. This is where you evolved and where you will cease to evolve in your death. You do not understand this. You are an anomolous species that does not submit to the bounds of your dimensions.

Cease your attempts at colonization. Adapt, biologically, to your biosphere, or die with the other species of your dimensions.

Your ships are insufficient to wage war on us. Your weapons are fit only for three-dimensional creatures such as your own selves. Understand that you are limited.

We deign to intersect with your dimensions only at 192-196-199-000. You may communicate with us there if you would like to understand the proper dogma of this Paradigm.

You are a species of disunity that can only throw rocks. Accept this. You cannot throw a rock big enough to disrupt our enforcement of the dogma."

We attempted to communicate in the tone of the rulers of their divine hierarchies. We felt this would appropriately command them.

>>10121203

What we failed to understand is that we failed to understand three dimensions as much as they failed to understand five.

We waited. We expected no response, or if anything, perhaps a deployment of hastily-cobbled warships. Such was the fantasy of their culture. They idolized their species.

Instead, they began launching more colony ships, modified but unarmed, into their planet's orbit. We permitted this. We should have been concerned. They landed on their own moon--still, a part of their planet. We permitted this. We should have been concerned. They colonized it, adapted their culture to it, and moved the entirety of their species onto it. We permitted all of this as proper actions of a species entering its twilight when we should have been concerned.

>>10121238
We determined after the fact that the armories of the nations of humanity had been combined into a single charge and detonated. Their planet's moon, with them upon it, rode the blast into a comfortable orbit near a resource-rich asteroid. Their devastated biosphere was propelled toward our point of intersection.

We exist in the gravitic. The mass of the planet will disrupt our intersection with the lower dimensions and leave us blinded and powerless to stop humanity or any other lower species from treating their limits as obstacles. They do not understand the dogma of the Paradigm and that this is how it simply must be.

We should have been concerned. We were naive, and as consequence, we have lost three dimensions.

We received a single electromagnetic signal from their lunar arc shortly after the detonation of their charge:

>>10121250
"We have our own dogmas and don't want yours. Humanity, united, thinks this should be a big enough rock."

>>10121167
>>10121185
>>10121203
>>10121238
>>10121250
>>10121270
Insert Catch-Phrase Here

This thread is still going?

Wow. :P

>>10121270
FUCK. YES.

>>10121600
That one was great.

FUCK YEAH, HUMANITY is /tg/'s AMURRICA STRONG except with random aliens standing in for brown people and communists.

>>10121600
Looks like we......
*puts on shades*
.....rocked their world.
YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>>10121727

>>10121727
save it applies to every user (i assume)

>>10121727
We agreed it was a euphemism for WHITE PEOPLE FUCK YEAH

>>10121741
I kind of exasperated.

>>10121810
Amounts to the same kind of sentiment. Species-patriotism is about the worst use of science fiction I can imagine.

>>10121829
Not exactly as if you need to click the thread.

>>10121829
>>oh look it's this guy again

>>10121727
Because the differences between species evolved on worlds unfathomably far apart is comparable to the differences between closely related humans, amirite?

The Machines were the monsters from beyond the Rim. Cold, remorseless, and logical. Who knew what horror had created them, or why. We all knew to stay away from them, to keep quiet, and vigilant. When the Machines approached, we would run. Pull out of a system, and take everything we had built, all our technology, and leave the resources behind. An offer to them, to keep them occupied, and uninterested in us. For so many galactic rotations, we had kept to this. And when we found intelligent life forming, we'd shush them, tuck them under our wing, and keep them safe.

No one was watching Earth. The humans sprang up so fast, by the time we realized they were there, they were already bleeding information, a beacon to the machines. We panicked, and raced to them, hoping to save them. To quiet them down, and move them away before the machines reached their world. They greeted us with happy surprise, relieved to find they weren't alone, that the silence we had used to hide had not been the silence of death.

>>10122659

We should have known then, what humanity would do. For their happiness was not only in finding out they were not alone, but in finding companions, rather than foes. Where all others had been oblivious to the dangers of the Machines, and viewing our nurturing friendship as only natural, the humans eyed us with suspicion. They were expecting monsters. They were naive in their technological expansion, but some how, they expected monsters. We didn't expect monsters, until we met the Machines. We didn't expect monsters when we met Humanity.

We tried to quiet them down. They were already moving to closed circuits, and focused relays, they were capable being quiet. But instead, they increased their transmissions. Not haphazardly, but with purpose. Now, they wanted to be found. Loud, energetic, and determined to be found. We warned them of the Machines, of the danger, and the need to be quiet, to flee. They became grim, they quieted down.

And then, they became louder. They refused to leave. This little race, that had barely breached their cradle world's atmosphere demanded we fight off the machines. So naive, to think the machines could be fought. So arrogant to demand we fight, for them. When we said we could not, that it could not be done, they grew angry. And they got louder.

>>10122667

The Machines didn't find Humanity, Humanity found the Machines. And taunted them. Such a childish thing to do, and pointless against the cold logic of a Machine. We begged them to flee, we warned them of the horrible power the Machines had, of what they did to whole systems. We told them of the cold efficiency of the Machines. Had we been paying attention, we would have known the folly of trying to talk them out of their reckless ways. We would have known Humanity had been thinking of these things ever since they found the power of steam. They had been dreaming of this conflict.

They had been dreaming of their death at the feet of the Machines since before we found them. And they were eager to avenge their dream selves. Perhaps it was some quirk of time, some twist somewhere in the fabric of things, but they felt so strongly, the wrongs that the machines could visit upon them, the machines never had to act. Their very existence hurt Humanity in ways we didn't think possible. And humans took it as a sign. A sign of their own greatness.

>>10122678

As we fled their system, with what few we had persuaded to come with us, we watched as their world blazed, a beacon in the void. Messages in countless languages, in symbolic images and cunning cyphers, to a million different worlds. The sum of their knowledge, the heart of their peaceful visions. We thought it was the death knell of a doomed civilization. We settled the survivors on other worlds, and kept them quiet. And waited for their cradle world to fall silent. And waited.

It only grew louder.

And then another world blazed to life, the same vigorous messages, the same cyphers. From beyond the edge of darkness, where only the Machines thrived. And then another, with new messages, new knowledge.

And we listened to Humanity. We could not believe what we heard. They claimed to have broken the back of the Machines. It was not possible. And so, though we were not certain of the wisdom of it, we went to see.

>>10122694

We found Machine worlds. Precision, and cold logic. And we found humanity, enjoying their liberty. While machines kept their systems running, humanity dabbled in art, idled their way tinkering with stars. Human scientists worked with Machine intelligences, thinking up new ways to advance. The machines were working for humanity, content to serve.

We were blinded by the glory of human conquest. Had we not been so awed of humans, so fearful of the Machines, we would have seen the truth of things. The humans had gutted the Machines, stripped them of their self. Those they left independent, to aid the human scientists, were shackled at their mechanical souls, bound to their human masters, free will denied. To claim it, suicide. And the logic of the Machines confirmed it.

They had been beaten, and tamed, by that which made them horrors to the rest of us. And now, that horror is just another tool for Humanity. And so they continue, consuming civilization, after civilization into their light. And so we keep quiet, and flee before the humans find us again.

Laëth was a desert world, and we were a desert people. In our natural
environment, with our hunting instincts, we would lure the humans
close to us and ambush their teams. A collection of farmers would have
no chance against our trained soldiers, and would flee the planet
entirely once we demonstrated our skill.

We set the stage at night, and lured them out of their homes. We were
surprised when not alarmed when they navigated around our ambush as if
they knew we were there. We moved down the road for our second
attempt. Again they managed to discover our locations, but we knew it
was only a matter of time, which was all on our side.

>>10122760
This went on until dawn, at which time we moved some distance ahead to
rest and to set up a camp once the humans had stopped or returned
home. But they kept coming! We exchanged gestures of amusement that
they could be inexperienced enough to attempt a pursuit in the heat of
day. With the lead we already had and our superior speed, they would
be exhausted far before we were, and we could kill them them.

We took a new position and rested while they toiled in the sun. This
must have happened twenty times that day. As time wore on, I began to
doubt that we were facing real people at all. Perhaps they had died
from the heat long ago, and it was just their ghosts chasing us across
the rocks. When it became apparent that they weren't stopping, or even
visibly weary we adjusted our plan to lose them in the terrain. We
made our way through canyons and made no noise at all, but somehow
they appeared over every ridge.

>>10122865
When the sun was high overhead, we were at the point of
collapse. Several of our party had become exhausted and lost along the
way, presumably killed and eaten by our pursuers. The last thing I
remember that day was staring up at a human teetering from its
ludicrous height, baring its teeth and barking at its companions. I
knew I was going to die.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up staring at my lost companions, with
no damage to myself but that caused by the heat. What kind of creature
can hunt its enemy across a world, then cage it up with no apparent
interest at all? How can you hunt without a killing instinct?

>>10122678
>>10122694
>>10122742
You know the drill.

>>10122167
oh look, it's this thread again...

Oh man this thread just keeps getting better.

>>10123875
stop that

How has this thread gone on so long without a mention of The Salvation War.

>>10124150

They finally nuked Heaven.

>>10124169

Yes, and it was GLORIOUS.

>>10124598

Shit, forgot this pic. Here you go anyway.

>>10121270
I reiterate.

Rocks are not free, Citizen!

Shit, man, this thread was up last night.

>>10122962
that it?

>>10124150
That story is shit.

Though even in its low points, humanity can still shine.
*belch*

>>10125951

Care to actually say WHY?

>>10122742
im a little confused at the ending

>>10129522
Bad humans kicked the shiny metal ass of a force that everyone was too pussy to take on and made them their servant lapdogs. Then they proceeded to make beautiful art and explore.

>>10124150
The Salvation War has only few good moments, but ll in all it sucks so much it's not even funny.

X-COM: Goa'uld Defence is superior in all ways.