Tried it

Worked

pic related:my face

>>10208453

Some of my iron warriors are wearing stahlhelms.

FUCKED AN ORK

As Space Marines, I teamed up with Necrons to kill Tyranids.

Forgot to venerate the immortal god-emperor of mankind yesterday.

>>10208491
I sleep with a giant pillow with a picture of Wasteland Warrior on it.

Sometimes it gets messy. . .

I argued that Love Can Bloom.

My heresies are pretty goddamn minor compared to some of you twisted fucks.

>>10208532
GOD DAMNIT ARGH

Fapped to demons and monsters. A lot. A LOT.

>>10208532

In a large majority of my allied games, I always teamed with the Dark Eldar player. We were damn near unstoppable.

Once, I got a cold.

>>10208542

Just pretend your head is the bullet.

>>10208532
I knew that must've been you, Alpharius!

nothing
everything i do is for the emperor

>>10208521
OY.

MY NAME'S GURK AN' I FUCKED A GIT MARINE RIGHT IN 'IS TIGHT LI'L MANCUNT. WHOLE TIME 'E KEPT SCREAMIN', "SKWOD BROWKIN! SKWOD BROWKIN!"

Heh, heh. 'E popped me off good, 'at one did.

>>10208572
Did traps convince you to take that, or was it bad decision making and booze?

I gave death to the enemies of the false emperor.

None, actually. It's all a part of a greater scheme. Trust me.

>>10208591
ha!
someone draw this

>>10208597

Bad decision and booze.

>>10208591

We all know orks don't have penises, silly.

Don't deny it. That would be heretical.

>>10208616
That's what I thought, but after "Drunken story time with WW" a while back, and all the talk about traps, I wasn't sure.

I collected corpses in the name of your corpse god.

>>10208616
If you're sober now, why did you post it again?

i grafted a penis to an ork
last i heard he was using it to rape guardsmen
better them than me

sup /tg/ is this heretical?

>>10208644
What about that one furry abhuman?

I paid for research into ork genitalia, then contracted the mechanicus to create an artificial version when they were found to lack them

>>10208643
>implying WW is sober.

>>10208453
It's fast attack terminator.

>>10208661

who told you about that?!
THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER

#end transmission#

>>10208453

I became a drawfag.

I'M SORRY EMPEROR I FAILED THEE

Scratch all of what I said earlier, I actually have a heresy related story that also revolves around alcohol and poor decision making skills.

So back at my old school, I was hanging out a dude's house after the gaming club was done. I had consumed 8 tall boys of steel reserve and gin. There were a bunch of straight edge kids hanging out, and they were saying that liquor was dumb. I had to prove them wrong.

TO show how awesomely numbing alcohol was, I grabbed a straight razor, pinned one of them down with my knee and made him watch as I cut a mark of chaos undivided into my forearm. Then when it was good and bloody I grabbed a length of pvc pipe, broke it over my knee and headed to the back yard.

In the back, there were a bunch of people from the gaming club doing a vampire larp, with foam swords and airsoft guns. I jumped ontop of a table, screamed "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD" and I charged. Foam swords dont really hurt when you are drunk, but pvc hurts like hell even through a trench coat. I was wailing indiscriminately at them screaming praises to khorne when I finally pinned one down.

I pointed the jagged edge of pvc at his throat and screamed "DO YOU ACCEPT THE 8 FOLD PATH, OR DO I GIVE YOUR SKULL TO MY LORD FOR HIS THRONE!?!?!?!!" He started stammering out an excuse when I get grabbed from behind by 4 of my friends, and dragged into the bathroom, where I am locked in. I try to escape to rend more flesh for the blood god, but in the end I pass out in the tub.

Made it to my rifts game the next morning hangover free. The gods smiled on me.

>>10208725
Reading stories like these, I know one day he's going to end up in bed with a girly looking guy.

>>10208618
OY! STOP MUCKIN' ABOUT!

I'LL BREAK YOH SKWOD JUSS LIKE I BROKE DAT GIT MARINE'S!

AND I DON'T MEAN YOUR SKWOD-SKWOD, I'Z BEIN' YOOFF-UH-MIST-ICK!

...I MEAN YA BUTT.

I'LL WAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! YA RIGHT IN THE BUTT.

>>10208725
>>10208725
>>10208725

>>10208725

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Goddamn you are the best drunk ever.

There should be a Wasteland Warrior podcast.

So I can download these stories and play them in public.

>>10208725

no.

>>10208768

Call it heresy, but you have not lived untill the combination of rage, drunken fury, perceived invincibility allows you to perceive time slowing down as your pvc pipe impacts a larper in the side as blood pours out of your mouth as you scream praises to the lord of skulls.

Feels good man.

decided to become a trap

>>10208723
:3c

>>10208725
Can I look up to you as an idol?

>>10208821

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vUXadaKOQ5CsyLtH6

I stared into the abyss...

And it stared back.

>>10208880

My crotch feels funny after listening to that. Please, continue.

drenched myself willingly in weaver-taint by having this monkey-toy laptop

>>10208880
Problem: You kinda sorta sound like Tom Waits.
Solution: Try to sound more like Tom Waits.

>>10208880
That was the best thing ever this month.

HAHAHAHA, I love you WW.

>>10208914
Yes, do this.

>>10208914

I spent all of yesterday drinking wormwood schnaps, and breakfast was a pack of cigarettes.

>>10208909

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vww6we2X7AFfvv9w1

>>10208880
fappin' to your sack while listen' to that sexy, sexy voice on a loop.

>>10208914
>>10208924

... I just realized, the only explanation: Wasteland Warrior IS Tom Waits.

>>10208949
>>10208880
Oh, my sides, oh god. . .

>>10208956
This is....

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

>>10208951

That is a horrifying picture. Fuck you japan, 2 weren't enough.

Stupid sexy Wasteland Warrior.

>>10208949

OH GOD MORE.
NO WOMAN EVER MADE ME FEEL THIS WAY

>>10208994
Consider this: The two caused mutations that resulted in the Japan of today.

>>10208994
U mad, uncle WW?

>>10208951
FUCK YEAH, I HAVE THE CIRNO DICK

>>10208725
>>10208832
>>10208880
WW, I haven't laughed so hard in a while. Good on you for teaching both the Straight Edge faggots and the LARP faggots what it means to be drunk and angry.

>>10209081

you guys are dicks.

>>10209136
We <3 you, though.

Can we still be bros?

>>10209136
>>10209147

NO. NO BROS. WW MUST GO ON ALONE FOR THAT IS HIS WAY.

>>10209135

I don't mind people who dont imbibe, but baiting a raging alcoholic who is angry at the world by saying that drinking isn't any fun is asking for more trouble then going to a naacp meeting in klan robes.

>>10209147
I'm sure that, deep down, Wasteland Warrior loves dick.

>>10208853
Hey bg, were you able to do that request about the Sister of Battle?

>>10209170

Not misshapen chud mutant foreskin dicks.

I'm an ass man.

>>10209189
Why must you be so hurtful?

>>10209169
I can agree completely, but the Straight Edge faggots are just obnoxious. In a similair situation to you, I ended up in a drunken (that was mostly me) brawl with four of them after a concert because they were faggots and I have anger issues that like being resolved with the striking of flesh. I don't think I won that fight (woke up inside a trashcan missing most of my jacket and a chunk out of my forearm) but I don't think I lost. Because I found some teeth nearby and they weren't mine.

>>10209189
I'm sure there's a girlboy out there for you.

When I was drinking with a straight edge faggot, I ended up with his dick in my mouth. Why you gotta be so violent, /tg/?

>>10209220

In vegas there is a big movement to get the teens and shit to be anti smoking. I was in a bar all night long, and it was now the middle of the day. You can still smoke in bars and casinos, and I was too drunk to drive so I had to walk my ass home. I lit a cigarette and walked out. Some guy with half a dozen facial piercings and a safety pin through his nose started giving me shit, so I blew smoke in his eyes. He sucker punched me in the gut, and I had been drinking so I puked all over him. Then I planted my cowboy boot into his crotch out of pure fucking meanness and walked home, leaving him crying on the asphalt and covered in my vomit.

>>10209245

God loves violence, why do you think there is so much of it? It's his glorious gift to mankind.

I wrote a DD

Then I wrote another

Am I heretek?

>>10209245
>>10209278
I gotta go with WW, here. God does love his violence. Just look at the Middle East.
>>10209266
Shoulda pulled the safety pin right out of his nose.

>>10209298

Nah, what I did was simple assault, that would have been aggravated. If it's broad daylight I try to keep the felonies to a minimum.

And so Anon asked himself, how can I be more like WW.

>>10209308
Technically he assaulted you first, so it would have been justified in the eyes of any violent, god-fearing court in America. But then again, I don't mind committing felonies in broad daylight so long as I think I can get away.

>>10209317
Well, first you need to get him to do a podcast/radio show.

Then you need booze, lots of it.

The rest is easy.

>>10209317

I just broke out a bottle of rum, let's see if that helps.

>>10209317
Well you'll drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and fight.
And if you see a pretty girl, you'll sleep with her tonite.
And then you'll drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and fight.

>>10209317
Start drinking, be angry and smoke, no I don't give a shit that you have asthma, choke it down bitch.

>>10209334

Guess what was full at the beginning of this thread?

A podcast would just be me bitching about how much ammunition costs these days, why I don't trust midgets, a list of things I would do sexually to various celebrities and a long rambling discord about what I would do to tim and eric if I got the chance.

>>10209399
I would never, ever stop listening.

>>10209399
You'd be better than ninety odd percent of the podcasts out there.

>>10209399
And random stories about games.

And that's awesome. And I would totally listen.

>>10209399
you say that as if it were a bad thing

>>10209407

Okay, here's something.

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vrL3ysCrUZTRoXRCC

>>10209467
That fate is not nearly bad enough.

>>10209467
I would totally pay to listen to this.

>>10209467
...would you happen to be the POWERTHIRST guy, by any chance?

>>10209559

No, but I mixed brawndo with jagermeister once and ended up challenging a police officer to meet me in the field of honor.

>>10209702
Did you remember to use a glove?

Became a drawfag and drifted into trolblivion

>>10209467
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sawing_(torture)

This might be of interest to you.

>>10209713

No, thats probably why he chose to just suprise taze me and tell my friends to take me home and make sure I didnt get into any more trouble that night.

THE BLACKGUARD FIEND SHOULD HAVE FACED ME WITH PISTOLS AT DAWN, granted, I would have used my ak as it has a pistol grip, and therefore counts as a pistol.

>>10209702

>>10209748
is that the reason you fitted it with a pistol grip?

>>10209341

Well, I don't think it's the alcohol alone. Not entirely sure.

>>10209772

No, because stock saigas have a shitty trigger because they have a little piece in them to move the trigger away from the action so they could be fired with a monte carlo sporting stock.

I wanted something Californians can't have, and I was tired of sloppy trigger pull, so I coverted it back into an AK.

>>10209772

...for duels, I guess.

>>10209786
I listened to this.

What the fuck accent is that? German?

>>10209822

Jawohl.

>>10209834
Well, at least this merican isn't totally euro-clueless.

>>10209834
Unless I've entirely forgotten what little German I know, you'd use "ja" there, not "jawohl".

>>10209879
>>10209879
Jawohl is yes, but with enthusiasm. "Yes-SIR!"

>>10209879

They're both perfectly valid. "Jawohl" is a bit more formal, a bit more out-dated, and a bit more military-sounding.

>>10209899
>>10209911
Right-o, I'm a retard.

Wrote this:
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Squad_Broken_2

I dreamt of Wasteland Warrior holding me and whispering about his awesome stories in bed, naked.

>>10210026
So it's not just me? Thank god.

>>10210038

It's at least half of /tg/.

>>10210064

Oh boy, 4 people lust for me.

I drew this.

>>10210014
thats..alot of heresy

>>10210075
It's only really two people.

You're the fourth.

>>10210075
More than four.

Oh look, fa/tg/uys fellating a drunken waste of of flesh redneck.

Roll a Battle Sister in DH
>advicelaughingelfman.jpg
Take her personality from Birdgirl

>>10210014
>Eduardo turned up the piston speed with a thought to 800 RPM, and watched Gurk seem to vibrate as his Cybercock ravaged him. Gurk seemed to go limp, but Eduardo didn't care as he climaxed and extended the Cybercock another five inches further inside of Gurk, rupturing vital organs as his innards filled with hot cum.

nice

>>10210110
Thanks!

>>10210142

>>10210075

Yeah. Of the others, one is busy saging every thread he sees, two are locked in a perpetual edition war, and the last only comes here for Giantess porn.

I stuck bubble wrap in my anus, clenched my asscheeks and attempted to pop the bubbles.


FOR SLAANESH

>>10210201

Thats awesome, but a true slaaneshi would have an asshole like a pringle tube full of circus peanuts, which wouldn't pop jack shit.

>>10210228
I'm still a beginner, good sir. Give me time.

>>10210228
Empty your stories all over my face.

More vocaroo and/or retelling of Drunken adventures (especially if they involve BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD)

>>10210272

Nah, tired and I have a game to get to, so I must now go elsewhere.

I leave you all this.

>>10210272
Can't just ask for stories man. Need to jog his mind or remind him of something. Like 'pills' or something.

I invited 4 hot girls round and plied them with alcohol and drugs then started "sexy party games" purely to initiate an orgy.
Whole night was a blur, woke up to a room of naked bitches, many used rubbers and more booze bottles than yer average brewery.
Oh yeah, and at some point I managed to get draw Slaanesh's mark on their tits in sharpie.

>>10210388

Almost forgot the most important part. 2 of them were married at the time and one of them engaged. Other had just split up with her long time boyfriend. (my excuse for organising the party)

So, I'm confused, is WW favoured by Slaanesh or Khorne?

>>10210560

Neither
He's Chaos unbound.

>>10208725
i swear WW if i ever meet you i will have to buy you a drink or two just for that story

guess