No thanks.

Sure why not.

>>12665208
Yes, yes we do.

We've been waiting since yesterday.

Hurry up!

One will listen, to humour you. you appear to be excited to tell this story, or want some attention, One can provide.

I never read stories like that, so it makes no difference to me.

Okay. Here goes.

Yesterday, I threw Kaptin Katiklyzm at my players in the Rogue Trader campaign. For those of you that don't know Kaptin Katiklyzm, read http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12640960/ - if you don't have time, here's a short description (which kind of fits the one I used in my campaign).

Kaptin Katiklyzm, the Mad Mek of Calixis Sector was a normal Blood Axe, until he looted a Rogue Trader Cruiser along with his documents. He now believes himself to be a Rogue Trader and acts accordingly. It's true that he mostly loots other vessels, but he also commits trade with other planets. Planets that, during the process of trading with his spaceship, frantically sent astropathic messages for help. His greatest enemy is the Emperor, who will die one day. He also has a sidekick - an Eldar named Marsgrech Explosion, formerly of the Dark Reapers. Together, they will build a great weapon which they will use to shoot a planet to Holy Terra, destroying the Emperor. He is basically Doctor Doom (DOKTOR DUM AMIRITE) in space.

>>12665237

The thread arrived in a kind of cool time, mainly because my players have just finished an Endeavor and wanted something different. They docked at a planet, loaded up on drugs they would sell on a new colony world in the Expanse, and started their engines. Halfway through the journey, they stopped at another planet which was suddenly paying a lot more for the drugs than their original goal (they didn't buy all of them, so their cargo bay was still like three quarters full). On the planet, they were given the last known coordinates of the ship that was scheduled to bring the drugs. My group consists of three players - the Rogue Trader who is the biggest bro and is incredibly genre-savvy (happy-go-lucky-but-neutral-good-when-faced-with-choices-that-have-dire-consequences character), That Guy who plays the Void Master (RIP AND TEAR, [insert generic space marine backstory]) and another friend who is a Seneschal and is an awesome roleplayer (I am the brains behind this operation and I'm always skimming 10% off the top to fund my own Rogue Trader dynasty). The players eagerly went to the coordinates, although only the Seneschal was prepared for an ambush.

>>12665246

What they found was two trader ships - one appeared to be being stripped down for parts, and the other one was a cruel imitation of a cruiser, painted red with an impossible amount of guns on the hull. Upon visual contact, it activated the vox. "Iz dis ting working, ya git?" asked a gruff voice. The Rogue Trader confirmed, and the vox started again: "Alright, jus' checkin. FIRE!" and the ship attacked. The ships started trading fire while the Rogue Trader attempted to restart the conversation, but the PC one was quickly overwhelmed by the dakka. This is when I rolled a lucky crit and had the "Shrapnel enters bridge" event - what entered the bridge was a freak drop pod with Marsgrech Explosion inside - the pod itself was filled with energy weapons and machineguns, and the PCs dove for cover almost immediatelly.

>>12665251

While the shootout with Marsgrech was going on, Kaptin's men boarded the ship and were loading the PCs cargo on the boarding vessels and were sending them off to the mothership. Marsgrech was heavily wounded and retreated into his rocket-powered pod and propelled himself back to the ship, leaving the bridge in dissaray (he also stole the Rogue Trader's grandfather's ornamental rifle, claiming it was "worthy"). The Senechal scrambled up some crew and activated the geller field and the warp drive, jumping away. After the battle, most of the drugs were lost and Kaptin's men that remained on board were quickly killed - the PCs , however, vowed revenge.

It took them about a month to repair the ship and about a week to track him down - they followed the trail of robbed drug-carrying ships. They found him in a system that was eaten by the Tyranids once before. The Kaptin's men had manned an orbital station on the furthest planet - the PCs took it over and found the Kaptin's plan - apparently, there was still some Tyranid biomass left on the planet, and Kaptin planned to inject a fuckload of drugs into it while wiring dakkas into the remaining nerve endings to create a weapon with which to strike fear into imperial citizens. That Guy called bullshit on this and how it would be impossible for a Tyranid to work like that, also saying it was a "serious" (as if such thing existed in Rogue Trader) campaign, but the other players shushed him up. And so, they hatched a plan - they would assault the vessel by surprise and try to destroy it.

>>12665262

This time, the PCs had the element of surprise - they assaulted the cruiser as it was in orbit, observing the fueling of the Tyranid organism - but this time, it wasn't just Marsgrech that assaulted their bridge after the Void Shields downed - Kaptin himself attacked them. The fight was brutal and deadly - about 50 redshirt crewmen were slaughtered at their hands, but they were bested. Kaptin and Marsgrech ran away (Kaptin leaving a small explosive surprise behind him that was defused by the Senechal) and steered the pods towards their ship. This is when Void Master and Seneshal unvealed their plan on how to deal with the enemy - they'd bring one of the spare missile turrets to the Teleportatum room and fire it as Teleportatum was warming up, resulting in transporting the missile in the heart of the enemy ship. I gave them a ridiculous challenge rating, but they managed to roll pretty low, so the plan worked.

What didn't work was the result of the plan - warp drive explosion. Kaptin and Marsgrech were not on the vessel - they were still in their pods while this happened and were sucked in the Warp - Rogue Trader could swear he heard a quiet scream of "EMPEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR" on the vox. The PC ship managed to clear it, but the hole grew and grew and eventually (as the PCs were watching from a-fucking-far away) swallowed the planet with the Tyranid beast fused with dakkas. I'm not sure where to take this, but one thing is clear. The Rogue Trader's grandfather's rifle is still with Marsgrech, and he wants it back.

fuck yeah, I remember this

>>12665267

Basically that's it. I have no idea where I'm going to take the good Kaptin - I have some "normal" campaign parts planned for now. If anyone has any more ideas for Kaptin's schemes, I'd love to hear them.

Sounds like a slightly wacky and fun adventure, OP. Good stuff.

Well surley the good captain finds something of use on some retched deamonplanet deep in the warp and returns from nowhere to take revenge on the players aided by this hellish demoninfested contrapiton!

I love you OP

>>12665262
>implying the Tyranids could get through the warp gate

tzeench gets his talons on the kaptin and promises safe passage through the eye of terror if he agrees to [insert mysterious plan here], the kaptin decides to fuck him over and uses the tools designed to carry out [mysterious plan] to get revenge on the PCs, shit goes pear shaped and warp beasts fukken everywhere, kaptin gets a chance to escape with his life, tzeentch gets a "just as planned" in and the rogue trader gets a chance to take back his rifle.

>>12665321

>STOP HAVING FUN

Bump

I lol'd.

>they'd bring one of the spare missile turrets to the Teleportatum room and fire it as Teleportatum was warming up

Now I want to try this in my RT campaign...

This isn't a good idea, but it sounds crazy enough to work.

Add Katiklyzm into the Haarlock's Legacy trilogy.

>>12665871

Holy fuck

I can't wait to do this

>>12665871
Wrong setting, I know.

BUT DAMN IT IF IT ISN'T AWESOME.

But.... it's RT, not DH. You CAN'T adapt Haarlock's Legacy into RT! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

>>12665900

You can bring Kaptin into DH

WHICH WOULD BE AWESOME

>>12665871
You know, that would actually be pretty awesome.

SPOILERS BELOW, DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED
PCs vs Pilgrims of Hayte vs Kaptin Katiklyzm and his krew at the end of Tattered Fates would be unbelievable. I'm not even joking, that would be a thing of beauty.

>>12665267
Oh, right. How did you stat out Katiklyzm and Marsgrech?

>>12665927

Don't have my game laptop here for the specifics, but I built Kaptin as an Ork Freeboota from the beginning and I just boosted an Eldar's stats for Marsgrech. I think I'm going to restat him in the future, though, because he needs to become more personalised.

>>12665940
Hmm, what rank did you put Kaptin Katiklyzm at?

>>12665953

I decided to scale him with my players. He's always going to be two ranks above them - their "rival", if you want (they already have one, a Rogue Trader who they pissed off and is always undercutting them - he is always on the same rank as them. I'm tempted to make an adventure involving both him and Kaptin).

>>12665347

The Kaptin is an Ork, he doesn't need any chaos god to get through the Warp, he'll punch his way out.

I threw my Deathwatch players at Killboy. Fastest goddamned TPK I've ever seen...

>>12665972

Oh god, thanks for the idea

Kaptin ends up on the planet Deff Skwadron is stationed on

>>12665977

Holy fuck

The PCs are going to need a new group

>>12665977
No man, don't do it! Deff Skwadron will slaughter your players nine ways to Sunday! That'd be so cruel it'd go from Funny, into Not Funny, then all the way back around to Horrific!

Why wait for the RTs to find the Kaptin? While the Kaptin was on the ship he or Marsgrech dropped some kind of MacGubbinz that is vital for his continued plan against the Emperor. When found by some witless crewmember that doesn't know anything about anything it is discarded and ends up somewhere in the hold.

Cue Kaptin hiring Kommandos to get it back...

>>12666029

>Kommandos

I think you misspelled "Deff Skwadron"

But seriously, this is why I love /tg/. I'm definitely using that.

>>12665871
>>12665971
Actually, I just had a ridiculous idea. A honest to god "WHAT THE FUCK" moment that'll leave your players wondering what happened.

Haarlock's Legacy as normal, until the part where they get to the end.

BEWARE SPOILERS
At the very end, if the PCs screw up and they arrive too late to stop Haarlock, this is what'll happen. The entity starts emerging from the mirror-door as the eclipse happens. All seems lost until Haarlock is dragged back into the soul trap as a deep, echoing voice screams "GET BACK IN 'ERE, YA GIT!"

Sounds of a scuffle start coming from the mirror, before it suddenly shatteres in a bright flash of light. When the PCs can see again, they see Katiklyzm and Marsgrech, returned from wherever the hell they were. The Mad Mek is holding a cracked, tech laden choppa made of glass, which promptly crumbles into dust once the two villains are reattuned with reality.

"KATIKLYZM IZ BAK! YOU 'EAR DAT, EMPEROR?!"

>>12666041
No, I meant Kommandos.

Think of it, suddenly there are rumors among the crew about seeing shadows, hearing noises, missing stuff and food. Shit that normally goes on, only even more so. Then crewmembers are disappearing and re-appearing dead from severe violence. And isn't it something odd with that new deckhand? He looks a bit... green...

Now the Deff Skwadron, they are the exit strategy.

>>12666072

*Jacking off with glee*

>>12666072

Holy fuck

Say this results in a TPK, and then you close the DH books and say: And now we're gonna play Rogue Trader.

And then you bring Kaptin in after three or four sessions.

>>12666116
That is cruel. Seriously, Katiklyzm's become an Ascension-level threat all of a sudden.

>>12666072
>"KATIKLYZM IZ BAK! YOU 'EAR DAT, EMPEROR?!"

The only way to make that moment better would be to throw in an epic speech, a la TTGL.

>>12666116

But they're already playing Rogue Trader...

While we're talking about Orks being awesome one Ork related plot hook I was waiting to pull off in ages is Wazdakka looting the webway.

>>12666162
Or better yet, when the PCs retreat back to the swamp, the Dusk Hag has a NOT AS PLANNED expression on her face.

>>12666153
Well, he is Orkish Doctor Doom. He should be extremely dangerous, although not as deadly as a Greater Daemon.

Pilgrims of Hayte encounter Kaptin Katiklyzm and his krew.

WHAT HAPPENS?

>>12666177
Wazdakka looting the Webway? What if he stumbles onto the Black Library?

>>12666078

That reminds me of my own campaign, where several Kommandos appeared. I loved the reaction I got out of my players when, as they were laughing at the stupid greenskins they were about to route, not knowing they had three Kommandos tailing them since a few minutes ago... I merely smiled, and asked them to roll a perception roll. When they failed, I let them continue for a few seconds, then got up, saying

"You do hear something, though"
"...what is it?"

And then I leaned forward, close to the ear of one of them, grinned, and whispered,

"Waaaagh"

Looks of "OHSHI-" and blank faces of realization like that one got, are the very reason I GM.

>>12666301
You are awesome DM and you should feel good.

>>12666301
>And then I leaned forward, close to the ear of one of them, grinned, and whispered,

>"Waaaagh"

You are a hero, gentleman, scholar, and pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything.

>>12666277

This is why we love Orks

>>12666301
You are an excellent DM.

>>12666503
He'd probably end up blowing the Black Library into bits.

>>12666558

Better yet

He and Kaptin Katiklyzm both reach The Black Library at the same time - both intend to loot it

Ork vs. Ork fight in The Black Library

>>12666589
Why is it that Orks make ANY scenario awesome? Seriously, right now, replace that with any other race, and any two other characters from that race, and it immediately becomes "meh."

>>12666589
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?

Oh, god. That would be something ridiculous.

>>12666338
>>12666440
>>12666516

...I'm actually being praised by /tg/? Now *that* I didn't expect.

Thanks, guys. It's appreciated.

>>12666589

This is gonna happen at one point in my campaign, I fucking guarantee it. And I WILL post stories of it.

>>12666440
ADULT SWIM EAR WHISPER DUMP TIIIIIME!!!

>>12666674
So, I guess you won't do the Katklyzm + Haarlock's Trilogy combo?

>>12666766

Haarlock's Legacy is Dark Heresy module, bro. Someone else should do that - my players already know Katiklyzm

After they get tired of Rogue Trader, I may do a Dark Heresy campaign - if I do, I'm definitely using it as a "prequel" to Rogue Trader stuff

rolled 25 = 25

>>12665267
Have them manage to make it into the webway from the warp, then have it so the players know that Kaptain and Marsgrech are now in commorragh, rebuilding their stuff.

Now the players have to figure out how to get into commorragh, find those two, and get their weapon back without stirring up a huge hornet's nest of DE.

Also you can throw in a part where they are saved by jaghid khan as they are trying to make it back to their ship.

>>12666782
Oh ho. Maybe that could explain why Katiklyzm said he was 'bak'. After he and Marsgrech got sucked into the Warp, they were thrown back in time and escaped after beating the stuffing out of Haarlock.

>>12666674
You do know that the whole Library is going to be destroyed, right?

>>12666873

But I'm planning to bring Katiklyzm back before the end of the Rogue Trader campaign - several times, if possible.

>>12666917
Will you kill him off? Or will he always tellyport away whenever he's on the brink of defeat?

>>12666962

>Implying you can kill of Kaptin Katiklyzm

In worst case scenario of PC competence, there will be a paradox clone of him because he did some warp travel with a temperamental warp drive.

>>12666978
Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

>>12666978
Killing him would be like killing Doctor Doom.

Pretty much impossible.

>>12666978
As it turns out, another paradox clone of Kaptin Katiklyzm nearly strangled the Emperor during the crusades.

>>12667360
Kati-klones.
Kati-klones everywhere.

>>12666978
>>12667268
>>12667360
>>12667501
>>12667512
Wait, I understand now.

Instead of Doombots, Katiklyzm has Kati-Klonez created by temporal paradoxes.

>>12666978
Does Marsgrech also have paradox clones?

rolled 38 = 38

>>12667633
Either he does, or he just constantly gets away and meets up with the new Kaptain.

Or he is with the real Kaptain always, and the ones that get killed are just clones.

>>12666978
Actually, I've got one better for you.

Iron Men, looted to look like Kaptin Katiklyzm

Looted automatons "smacked jus' right to get da clanky bits act'n like yerz truly!".

Watch party's Magos explode into a ball of pure bionic hatred that would make even the most steadfast Pilgrim of Hayte go, "Whoa bro- take a chill pill."

>>12667679
I'd go for the first option, just because somewhere down the line, all of the Kati-Klonez and Marsgrech clones would gather and wage war on the Calixis Sector.

>>12667760
He doesn't have an Explorator.

>>12667806
...QUE?!

I must rectify this! OP! Would you like an Explorator to join your group?

Actually, better yet, is it online? Or is it a sit-down group, as I fear it may be?

>>12667779
And that is why the Imperium can't have nice things.

WAAAGH! Katiklyzm is coming.

>>12667779
>>12668072
But.... if there's more than one Kaptin Katklyzm, it won't become awesome any longer.

I wonder what Ghazghkull would do with Kaptin Katiklyzm?

>>12667760
>Watch party's Magos explode into a ball of pure bionic hatred

"TECHNOLOGY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!"

Actually, a Magos based on Morbo would be pretty funny to play as: no indoor voice, yelling that things don't work that way, pointing out humanity's weaknesses and failings...

>>12668540
I was going to do a Cleric based off of Father Ted.

>>12668540
>>12668589
I already run a high-ranking Adept based off of Lumbergh from Office Space.

God dammit /tg/, now I have three /tg/-inspired villains in my campaign... Kaptain Katiklyzm, The Last Laugh (Fallen Harlequin based on the Joker), and Doomlictor.

>>12668752
Now, what if those three became aware of each other and started competing?

>>12668870

TPK, of course. Doomlictor shits spore mines that unleash the HOLOCAUST POWER when detonated, for chrissakes.

>>12668883
And Katiklyzm does have some beastly tech....

>>12668589

Dougal should be an ad Mech explorer.

"Now Dougal, you know you don't have to push a button just because you see it right? Especially a button marked 'Emergency gellar field shutdown'"

Actually Father Jack would work well as an Archmilitant. "Drink! Purge! Feck! Xenos! Arse! Kill!"

>>12669388
He's just asking for trouble there.

If OP is there, I'd like to suggest a campaign that results from Katiklyzm meeting Asdrubael Vect.

I'll calls it mah screemin' chair, humie.

>>12670611
Undivided Chaos Corsair LeChuck.

No more Ork goodness?

>>12670884

THE SHIT WRITES ITSELF

Anyway, to the guy asking if he could join - it's a sitdown campaign, and I doubt you can get to eastern Europe, so yeah. And while an explorator would be awesome, I don't think that's a character my players would like to play.

Made a note of a Kaptin episode where he discovers a vault full of Iron Men and decides he needs to get it.

>>12673466
Maybe there could be an episode where Katiklyzm fights an alternate dimension version of himself.

>>12668168
I would assume that repeatedly falling into the Warp scatters them across space and time, so they won't be joining up anytime soon.

>>12676057
Then I wonder what the Kati-Klonez would be responsible for?

Maybe.... maybe there really WERE Ork snipers on Armageddon... and all of them were Katiklyzm.

Kap'n Katuklyzm gains Spiral Power.

>>12676081
Hmm. Perhaps not.

>>12676068

Why wouldn't there be Ork snipers?

Bump

>>12676643
"Ork Snipers" killed off all the apocatheries of a particular Space Marine legion so they couldn't harvest the geneseed of their fallen.

This Space Marine legion had previously been trying to implicate the Inquisition in something or other.

They died out.

Due to "Ork Snipers" on Armageddeon.

>>12677627

Ah

I trust there's an interesting story / writefaggotry connected to this case?