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  • File : 1265489046.jpg-(15 KB, 296x286, Drider.jpg)
    15 KB Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:44 No.7951949  
    Character concept: Drider paladin. Briefly made mad by the twisting formation into the Drider, he went on a nice long spiteful "Kill everyone" quest. Started to fill guilty, found a kinder god in Tyr. Now straddles the line between lawful good and lawful fuck it kill them all, trying to bring in line his old attitude with his new outlook.

    Viable for 3.5, or did I miss some part of the Drider canon?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:45 No.7951963
    Pretty sure Driders are directly connected to Lloth.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:45 No.7951976
    >>7951963
    Thought they were Driders as punishment for fucking up
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:46 No.7951979
    >drow
    >lawful good
    >feeling guilty about killing
    >overcoming his evil evilnature

    gee maybe you can have him wield two scimitars too
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:47 No.7951994
    Driders cannot be PCs PERIOD.

    WTF has 4.0 done!!??!!?!?!??
    >> Commissar Dognuts !sHiTT.E0Dw 02/06/10(Sat)15:48 No.7952008
    play a fat white dude instead
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:48 No.7952016
    >>7951979
    Okay, yes other than "TEE HEE DRIZZT". Fuck that pussy.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:49 No.7952030
    Drow epic destiny: Be mindwiped and reborn as a perfectly normal elf baby in some remote village.
    Shadar-kai epic destiny: Fuck the Raven Queen.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:49 No.7952035
    >>7951979
    >HURRDURR every drow that isnt evil is Drizzt.
    >>7951949
    Everything on the entire planet will try to kill you all the time, otherwise 100% viable.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:50 No.7952041
    Driders were cast out of Drow communities having been punished by Lolth either because they failed or she was feeling particularly petty and spiteful that day. I could buy a Drider Paladin, embittered by Lolth and Chaotic Evil in general, do a heel-face turn and rage against everything Drow.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:51 No.7952054
    >>7952035
    Well, yeah, kind of expecting that. Which further pushes the "Fuck Gods, kill everything" side of the primary conflict of said character.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:52 No.7952078
    He's a fucking monster, plain and obvious. Just staying alive on the surface would be a roleplaying achievement on its own, don't segue into drizzt shitpool to underline how thorough your moral shift is. You're trying to get by, and the only people jaded enough not to care about your looks are other adventurers.

    Take some ranks in Craft (Clothesmaking) and convince the DM to let you knit armor out of aramids dripping from your ass.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:53 No.7952081
    >>7952041
    Alignment shift from CE to NG caused by pure, unadulterated hatred?
    Hrmmmmmmm I like this.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:53 No.7952088
    >>7952035
    >implying non-evil drow aren't huge Mary Sues
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:54 No.7952102
    Nobody has addressed the most important concept:

    WHAT WILL HIS MOUNT BE?!?!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:54 No.7952108
    >>7952081
    Basically that's the idea. Also, I went with Tyr because I'm pretty sure he's the angriest good god. Any other more kill friendly paladin god?

    >>7952078
    I... hadn't thought of that. That's.. that's actually a fucking brilliant idea. I could clothe the whole part. I could kill goblins, then shit out clothes for orphans.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:54 No.7952112
    >>7952102
    an even larger spider!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:55 No.7952126
    >>7952112
    oh, shi
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:56 No.7952133
    >>7952102
    The last larger than normal melee fighter I played rode a large rhino into battle so... a spider on a large rhino?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:57 No.7952149
    >>7952108

    How about St. Cuthbert? While neutral, he does accept Paladins and is the angriest god I know.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:57 No.7952151
    Chaotic evil race and template made lawful good, and paladin. You're bad, OP. You should feel bad. Really really bad.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:59 No.7952185
    >>7952112

    Go with this. I'm pretty sure there's some feat in the Drow book or Races of Faerun that allows you to get spiders with the Leadership feat intelligent enough to get the leadership feat, so you could get spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders on spiders.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:59 No.7952188
    >>7952102
    Easy. When his mount is called up, OP's paladin is transformed in to a centaur.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)15:59 No.7952189
    >>7952149
    He doesn't seem particularly angry, just strict. Or am I missing some bloody history of killing all the evil?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:00 No.7952201
    >>7952189

    His nickname is "the Cudgel" because he goes around beating the shit out of evil with his massive stick.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:01 No.7952203
    >>7952108
    It's not like you'll be able to buy or find magic armor for yourself, so take those super-strong wires and make yourself a bitching eight-sleeved jumper.

    "Hey, Urist?"
    "Whacha want, ya naytmaresh freek?"
    "I, uh... I made you these earmuffs."
    "Ef gawds, en from what? It better not be dhat buttsilk ef yors."
    "...No, it's made of kittens."
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:01 No.7952212
    >>7952201
    Well then. So, great mace wielding spiteful and angry Drider paladin riding another spider, knitting his silk in his downtime to keep from going around breaking the skulls of innocent people?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:02 No.7952223
    ITT: how to wrap the rule of cool into a parody of itself.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:02 No.7952225
    >>7952212

    Exactly!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:03 No.7952231
    >>7951994

    WTF are you talking about? 4e doesn't let Driders be PCs.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:03 No.7952235
    >>7952225
    Works for me.

    Well maybe not the riding another spider bit. That's just a bit too silly.

    Maybe something dignified like a mechano-spider or just dropping the mount for some alternative options and letting a party member ride him into combat.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:03 No.7952237
    >>7952231

    Pretty sure he was trolling you, there.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:04 No.7952242
    Driders are supposed to be mounts... make him mounted by a succubus paladin.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:04 No.7952245
    >>7952201
    Minsc and Boo like the sound of this man!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:04 No.7952246
    YOU SHOULD MAKE YOUR MOUNT BE A CORGI.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:05 No.7952251
    >>7952235

    All raeg spiders of Tyr secretly want to be rode in to battle...
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:05 No.7952258
    >>7952223
    As if rule of cool wasn't making an ass of itself already.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:05 No.7952259
    Well, there's that Underdark Paladin variant in Complete Champion (or was it Complete Divine?) that gets rid of the mount in exchange for some other stuff.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:07 No.7952275
    >>7952259
    Shiny. Plus if I can convince a party member to be a knight or some shit we'll be able to do tons of damage together.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:07 No.7952278
    >>7952212

    See if you can convince him to lower the cost of crafting because you produce the raw materials yourself.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:07 No.7952279
    Why do you need a mount? Cant you just sling your web from rooftop to rooftop?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:09 No.7952302
    >>7952279
    I'm not sure that's how spiders use web.

    >>7952278
    Don't have a particular DM yet, but I have a group who fukken loves 3.5 and we've been talking about a campaign, so I figured I'd think of an idea before hand.

    But I definitely will check.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:11 No.7952323
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    >>7952102
    Thread derail: successful!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:11 No.7952331
    >>7952275

    Found it. It's in Complete Champion. Let me post some of it here. Note that these abilities only function while underground, which really sucks, so you might see if you can convince your DM to ditch that part.

    At 5th level, your base speed increases by 10 feet, you gain a +2 bonus to Balance, Climb, and Jump checks, and you're darkvision range increases by 20 feet.

    At 7th level, you can cast stone spikes once per day.

    At 12th level, you gain the earth glide extraordinary ability.

    At 15th level, you can use dimension door a number of times per day equal to your paladin level over 5.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:12 No.7952348
    > you're darkvision range increases by 20 feet.
    You spelled it right earlier...
    but you failed at "your" right here.

    Anon, I am disappoint.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:13 No.7952368
    >>7952348

    Well, that was stupid of me. But in fairness, I was too busy transcribing to pay attention to spelling.
    >> FUCKUTADOR, THE AVATAR OF DISSAPOINTMENT AND RAGE 02/06/10(Sat)16:14 No.7952370
    >>7952259
    Also, Take levels in the Topaz Guardian PRC and kill and hate everything underdark...
    IN THE NAME OF GOOD AND JUSTICE!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:14 No.7952376
    >>7952331
    >+10 feet

    It's... it's like an armored spider train.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:15 No.7952385
    lolwas.jpg me and everyone in every group I've ever been involved with have thought that drow that get turned into driders are driven mad and/or beast-like by the process and therefore would make terribad PCs. Also while I generally have no quarrel with something normally evil being good or something not-so-evil I can't quite condone monstrous evil mindless killing spider becoming paladin and lawful good. That being said if it suits the campaign go for it.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:15 No.7952390
    >>7952235
    I once got drunk enough to send some parts of my brain into coma but not enough to send the rest after them, and made a point-buy conversion of 3.5 classes. If I remember correctly, a bonus feat from unlimited list was worth 8 points, and the paladin's mount was 12 (the prices were balanced assuming each class had the same worth of features, which is obviously bollocks). So, you could theoretically exchange your mount for a bonus feat and a half. As estimated worth of features drops with level increase, prices were halved after level 6 and again after level 12, so you could have a feat now and another one at level 6, or three feats at levels 6-12, or six feats in late game. I'm not sure whether these were general feats, fighter bonus feats or a strictly limited list like the ranger's, though... eh, it's time to stop posting.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:15 No.7952392
    >>7952376

    Honestly, it's not a very good substitute, but in this case it's better than a mount that he can't ride.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:18 No.7952423
    >>7952392
    I could work on collect haste and speed enchantments, and work on trample tactics.

    Maybe if we start high enough start with some levels in monk for a speed boost on top of that.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:19 No.7952450
    >>7952423

    I'd advise against that. Maybe you should focus on heavily armored lance tactics and see if you can treat your lower half as a mount for the purposes of charging. Maybe pick up the Cavalier prestige class.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:21 No.7952467
    >>7952450
    Well, the group does tend towards more interesting concepts than hardcore min/maxing. Well, except one faggot. But he's a rules lawyer so fuck him. Though if the lower half can be counted as a mount, I'd probably grab cavalier as a PrC, yeah.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:21 No.7952474
    >>7952385
    Making a good PC out of an evil monster is okay to me, what really bugs me is the change from chaotic to lawful. Especially if it is motivated by ravenous madness.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:25 No.7952532
    >>7952467

    Also, Monster Classes are really, really poorly done. They pretty much need a complete overhaul, they're so weak. I mean, I'm no min-maxer but they're just terrible in every sense of the word. So you'll need to fix them before you roll up your character. A CR 7 monster shouldn't be a level 10 PC.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:25 No.7952544
         File1265491542.jpg-(12 KB, 200x247, Jergal_symbol.jpg)
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    >>7952108
    >Any other more kill friendly paladin god?
    Note that St. Cuthbert is a Greyhawk god, so may not work in FR. But in FR, go with Jergal! His philosophy is "EVERYTHING'S GOING TO DIE, BITCHES, FUCK ALL YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT." He's Lawful Neutral. He temporarily turned over most of his divine power to a trio of psychopaths a) so that more things would die quicker, and b) because he was bored.

    A Drider Paladin would be all over him.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:25 No.7952546
    >>7952474
    Many paths to god. His is just very bloody and pretty angry.

    And for the life of me I can't find that one picture of the bloody crusader with punching daggers (swords?)
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:27 No.7952560
    >>7952544
    Well, I do want him to actually be a good person. Or at least, good in that he's aware he's angry as fuck and trying to channel it into something good.

    Like weaving or punching demons.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:29 No.7952606
    I'm looking over some of the actual stuff Driders can do, and it's pretty neat. You have a climb speed, meaning that you can charge down a wall from an ambush location with a climb check. You have a bite attack and pretty good poison. Finally, you can cast spells as a 6th level cleric, sorcerer, or wizard.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:30 No.7952615
    >>7952560

    Epic Campaign Goal: Kill Lolth
    >> Slasher !RAPEg2JiFk 02/06/10(Sat)16:31 No.7952637
    If I was playing a non-lolevilz Drow, I'd make them True Neutral. They're too lazy to be good, to lazy to be evil.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:31 No.7952646
    >>7952546
    If it's a god he wants, he's already favored by Lolth, as much as one can be. If it's blood he wants, she'll support him getting it, even - mostly - from regular drows.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:31 No.7952648
    >>7952385
    Yeah, I'm pretty sure driders are driven mad by the process and will only obey Lloth or a priestess of her.

    Having said that, I'm sure you could bullshit some surface adventure with a drider or three along with a priestess hunting down a wizard that has seriously pissed off Lloth. Said wizard is srsly against Lloth and has done shitloads of research into her or smthn and majikz the driders to break the mind control or some shit.

    Just throwing it out there.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:33 No.7952667
    >>7952648

    No, they retain their intelligence. About half of them worship Lolth in an attempt to regain her favor, and the other half lurk around the edges of Drow communities and pick off individuals out of revenge.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:33 No.7952669
    >>7952648
    Didn't think they were driven that mad by the process, but then again even if they were I know some fucker out there has made a mimic party member and a sentient slime party member.

    Seems like there's less far fetched ideas.

    >>7952646
    It's not just god but being a good person. Just trying to balance "good" with "kill 'em all"
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:34 No.7952678
    >>7952474
    You've clearly never seen an otherwise normal person develop severe OCD from the death of a loved one or other severe trauma. It's plausible enough, given the right circumstances.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:34 No.7952684
    >>7952646

    No, he's un-favored by Lolth. All driders were once Drow who screwed up in Lolth's service. It's a curse, not a gift.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:34 No.7952695
         File1265492085.jpg-(122 KB, 520x567, chibizerker.jpg)
    122 KB
    >>7952560
    Have you considered being Chaotic Good and going with Paladin of Freedom and/or Holy Liberator, then? Because that way you could take Barbarian levels and FFFFFFFF- FOR FREEEEEDOOOOM!!!

    Otherwise, Tyr's your best bet.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:34 No.7952698
    >>7952684
    I think in 4.0 it's been changed to be a gift, but this is for 3.5
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:37 No.7952735
    >>7952667
    Fair enough.

    >>7952669
    I'm not saying it's a horrible idea, or even far-fetched, I was just under the impression they were mindless killing machines. I guess not. Makes the backstory a bit less complex.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:39 No.7952776
    >>7952648
    Driders are supposed to be somewhat confused about the whole "I fail the test of lolth so I get her blessing and oh my god it hurts then drows want to kill me", but not really crazier than any chaotic evil monster. In any case I never read anything about inherent mind control.
    >> FUCKUTADOR, THE AVATAR OF DISSAPOINTMENT AND RAGE 02/06/10(Sat)16:41 No.7952790
    >>7952698
    Mechanics aside, isn't that far more boring?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:41 No.7952793
    >>7952776

    Funny thing is, they're actually way more intelligent than the average drow. In fact, they're better in every way. But it's still a curse, for some reason.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:42 No.7952800
    >>7952790
    Yep.

    >>7952793
    It hurts like a bitch, I guess?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:43 No.7952831
    >>7952790
    >>7952793
    Making it a curse basically just highlights that Lloth is a fucking lunatic.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:43 No.7952846
    >>7952684
    Curse or gift, it's all a matter of perspective. They get more powerful and they look like their goddess.
    3.5 fluff says that the regular clergy consider it to be a curse, while driders consider it a blessing.

    And down there, Lolth put on her cool face.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:44 No.7952850
    >>7952831

    She really is. The Drow would have conquered the world by now if it weren't for their shitty deity.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:45 No.7952876
    >>7952831
    She's not. She's just trolling the fuck out of everyone.
    >> littlegirl 02/06/10(Sat)16:46 No.7952881
    >>7952088
    >>implying anyone who would want to actually roleplay a real lolth worshiping drow isn't a twat
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:48 No.7952919
    >>7952881

    I dunno. It might be fun. The constant fear and paranoia that at any moment you might be smote for no reason, the terrible love, the lust for power, filled with rage and hatred and misery. It would be interesting.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:48 No.7952922
    >>7952876
    "Yeah, no, don't become a drider. What? Nahh, they got like... spider dicks or something. And -4 strength. And -4 int. And are all insane. Yeah, no, you're better off as you are. I mean, fuck, if it was good, wouldn't I make all my high priests driders?"
    >> Nephanim 02/06/10(Sat)16:50 No.7952944
         File1265493030.png-(372 KB, 529x700, 12069741001.png)
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    >>7952560
    The issue is that he's got no context for what makes the kind of good he's channeling his rage toward.

    Unless he was a Drow that spent enough time amongst more mentally balanced humanoid races, the most good he'll attain is the nastier end of neutral.

    It would be like a Dwarf getting all pissed because of a cave-in and turning his anger toward the cause of helping Kobolds. It just doesn't make any fucking sense.

    I'm not saying the core concept isn't doable in 3.5 DnD, but you'll have to have a much better backstory than what you've written.

    Pic unrelated, Arachne/Anansi and Driders are completely different leagues.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:51 No.7952959
    >>7952922
    Technically speaking, spiders have two dicks.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:53 No.7952997
    >>7952959
    And sometimes, they grow so large that they tear off one to not be impeded.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:53 No.7953005
    >>7952944
    It's an outline. It's not the entirety. I'm not gonna type up 30 pages of Drider fiction. Obviously he's gonna at some point step out of the Underdark and find religion, or find good people in the Underdark. Maybe kill them, but, y'know, something good will end up coming of it.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:54 No.7953027
    >>7952959
    >>7952997
    Maybe the curse is that it's a curse on the women of Drow society less so than the Driders themselves? Well, that or dick ripping.
    >> Nephanim 02/06/10(Sat)16:56 No.7953047
    >>7953005
    >I'm not gonna type up 30 pages of Drider fiction.
    b-but, but... Aww.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:56 No.7953055
    >>7952959
    You talking about pedipalps?

    Those are their hands too. And also teeth. Spider mating involves fisting. Some spiders also don't bother finding the genital pore and just punch into the female on the approximate location of the sperm repectacle. Those obviously totally deserve getting eaten.

    And there's that one genus, Tidarren, with pedipalps so fuckhuge that together they're 20% of the body mass. The male cannot walk with both pedipalps intact, it has to rip one out.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:57 No.7953070
    >>7953047
    Well, if you insist, give me some time and I could writefag up some Drider fiction.

    No double spider dicks though.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)16:58 No.7953078
    >>7953005
    Why not ? If it's any good, you'll get archived, and if not, you'll know for sure that your idea is bad.
    >> Commissar Dognuts !sHiTT.E0Dw 02/06/10(Sat)16:58 No.7953085
    >>7953070

    pussy

    pusssssssssssssssssssy
    >> Commissar Dognuts !sHiTT.E0Dw 02/06/10(Sat)16:59 No.7953105
    >>7953085

    (pussy for each dick)
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:02 No.7953146
         File1265493767.jpg-(186 KB, 400x300, 22222.jpg)
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    Looks like it's time for... spider vaginas !
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:03 No.7953154
         File1265493801.jpg-(102 KB, 340x200, 222222.jpg)
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    fuck yeah
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:03 No.7953164
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    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:04 No.7953173
    >>7953146
    >>7953154
    >>7953164

    Why do you have these saved?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:04 No.7953176
         File1265493890.jpg-(322 KB, 500x410, 22222222.jpg)
    322 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:05 No.7953187
    >>7953173
    Icanfaptothis.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:07 No.7953200
         File1265494026.jpg-(39 KB, 383x255, dolomedes_plantarius_epigyne_0(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:08 No.7953214
    >>7953187

    Eh. I've seen weirder fetishes.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:08 No.7953217
         File1265494095.jpg-(18 KB, 560x373, Theridion epigyne.jpg)
    18 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:08 No.7953231
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    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:09 No.7953237
    >>7953173
    Actually, while thinking about making a drider PC myself some weeks ago, I tried to understand a little more about its anatomy, and ended up on the wikipedia article about spider vaginas. This thread reminded me, so I thought i'd save and post them.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:10 No.7953249
    >>7953217
    >>7953231
    Hey, looks like we're two.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:10 No.7953259
    >>7953237

    Oh, okay. That's more interesting than the alternative presented here >>7953187. Spiders are neat, but everyone else I know seems to hate them for some reason.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:11 No.7953269
         File1265494287.jpg-(60 KB, 300x278, Pelican spider - Eriauchenius (...).jpg)
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    Enough epigynes, posting some cool spiders and assorted copy/paste since honestly I can't be assed with typing the same thing again.

    Amongst the oddest-looking spiders is Archaeidae, pelican or assassin spiders. Their elongated necks allow them to better catch fellow spiders, upon which they prey.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:12 No.7953281
         File1265494329.jpg-(112 KB, 500x500, Gasteracantha mammosa.jpg)
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    Gasteracantha mammosa relies on its speed and hard armor to capture insects in addition to webbing, preferring to bite prey instead of wrapping it in web and dragging it along. Its armor makes it immune to stingers of bees, which it captures with ease.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:12 No.7953288
         File1265494362.jpg-(72 KB, 750x500, Araneus rota.jpg)
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    Apparently fed up with walking through sand dunes, Araneus rota can roll itself into a wheel to move through them fast enough to escape most would-be predators.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:13 No.7953298
         File1265494397.jpg-(74 KB, 750x500, Araneus rota rolling.jpg)
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    Rollan.
    >> Marquis de cupcáke 02/06/10(Sat)17:14 No.7953310
    wished that was a .gif
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:14 No.7953315
         File1265494471.jpg-(53 KB, 960x904, Tidarren.jpg)
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    Males of Tidarren genus of spiders rip off one of their pedipalps before maturing, because the pedipalps are so large that the male can't walk properly otherwise. As with other spiders, Tidarren mates by drawing sperm within the pedipalp and injecting it to the female. Unlike many spiders, the female rips off the remaining pedipalp at this point and eats the male while the disembodied pedipalp continues to pump sperm.

    By the way certain bats have like 11% body mass testicles, so they're certainly catching up. Longest dick length to body length award goes to barnacles, about 8 times I think?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:15 No.7953332
         File1265494546.jpg-(27 KB, 330x351, Intertidal spider.jpg)
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    While the diving bell spider is perhaps the only one truly adapted to aquatic life, others like intertidal spiders patch up barnacles or sea shells with their webs to survive the high tide underwater. Even land-dwelling spiders are known to water-proof their lairs, which allows them to survive floods. Most can also bring a bubble of air alongside them while diving, as such it is very hard to drown even terrestial spiders. The spider in picture is an Anyphaenid sac spider.
    >> FUCKUTADOR, THE AVATAR OF DISSAPOINTMENT AND RAGE 02/06/10(Sat)17:16 No.7953336
         File1265494563.jpg-(19 KB, 239x275, 1191968681355.jpg)
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    Seriously?
    Spidervaginas?
    SPIDER VAGINAS!!!!
    *AAAAH!!!!*
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:17 No.7953363
         File1265494653.jpg-(53 KB, 461x296, Brenthia hexaselena.jpg)
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    http://www.bogleech.com/bio-spiders.html

    Obligatory spider reading. Also posting this guy because I like it.

    http://www.livescience.com/animals/061221_spider_mimicry.html

    In a monumental display of acting, moths of genus Brenthia successfully fool jumping spiders into thinking they're one of them.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:17 No.7953364
    >>7953336
    /tg/ has written 2 or three drider fapfics
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:18 No.7953370
    But we've got a bigger problem.

    Is the climbing ability of the driders a supernatural ability, or not ? And if not, how does it work ?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:21 No.7953418
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harpactea_sadistica

    Here's the traumatic inseminator.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D92AUXhYZ0M

    Jumping spider mating rituals. Oddly cute.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:23 No.7953447
    >>7953364

    All of them by Xiombarg's Storyteller.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:24 No.7953451
    >>7953363
    I read in a newspaper this week that the first species of vegetarian spider has been discovered recently. It eats some parts of a tree that usually grows in symbiosis with a ant colony that is supposed to defend it. The spider use ninja skills to bypass the ants and get to the chewy bits before she's caught.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:24 No.7953459
    >>7953364
    Search for Xiombarg on RS
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:24 No.7953461
    >Unlike many spiders, the female rips off the remaining pedipalp at this point and eats the male while the disembodied pedipalp continues to pump sperm.

    Fap fap fap.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:25 No.7953466
    >>7953447
    I think some one else wrote one too.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:26 No.7953481
    >>7953451
    I should have read the links before posting that, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:26 No.7953483
    >>7953451
    Yeah, that's on the Bogleech article. The tree's bullthorn acacia, I think.

    Currently looking up neotenic spiders for all your we-swear-she's-18 loli spider needs.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:27 No.7953497
    >>7953418

    >The males have specialized genital structures at the pedipalps that are adapted to grip the female and inject the sperm, using a structure resembling a hypodermic needle. After positioning himself, the male pierces the female on both sides and injects the sperm directly into the ovaries, resulting in about eight holes in two rows.
    >H. sadistica has elaborate mating rituals preceding the insemination, involving tapping the female, subduing her and wrapping himself around her in order to position himself prior to insemination.

    Finally the male spider gets the empowerment he so richly deserves!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:28 No.7953502
    >>7953364
    My favorite is the one were the adventurer is telling his kids how they were conceived.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:33 No.7953582
    >>7953370
    Bump on my question, if anyone has an idea.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:34 No.7953594
    >>7953582

    Alright, let me check.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:36 No.7953610
    >>7953594

    It's not supernatural. It's just a movement speed, like a humanoid has a land movement speed.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:37 No.7953626
    There was something magical in those bloodshot eyes, that gasp, those struggling hands trying so desperately to claw for freedom. He brought the drow closer to him, staring her in the face as he snarled.

    "Where's the god damn book?! You wenches made me this, unmake me!" He slammed her against a wall, breathing heavily, drunk on rage. It had been a few weeks now of just this. Hunting down priestesses, hunting for a fix, never finding one.

    "There isn'-"

    "Not good enough!" he slammed her against the wall again, "Don't you lie to me!" He kept squeezing on her neck before he finally heard a popping noise. He went too far. He let out a howl before throwing her against the cave floor, slamming one of his legs into her chest. He did it a few more times, pounding her sternum until he pierced clean through.

    More. There were always more priestesses. They tried to lead him away from his home but he hadn't forgot the Underdark. He knew the routes, knew the shrines. He just needed to find more priestesses. Isolated shrines maybe. Scale up his attacks, get a weapon, something to make them snap.

    He didn't have time for his haze to clear when heard the sounds of a low conversation. Not priestesses. Deeper, more masculine. He placed a foot on the bloodied wall, scaling it as he walked past the ledge he had cornered the priestess at. His eyes shifted around in the darkness, looking for more drow.

    Torch light. Outsiders. He kept crept down the cavern wall, listening intently to their conversation.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:37 No.7953631
    >>7953497

    Truly the fact that this one species among many with exotic and lethal mating habits gets named "sadistica" is evidence of the prevailing double standards in western capitalist society!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:38 No.7953646
    "... an' quit yer belly achin'. I's not tha' bad." Commanding, gruff, hearty. Dwarf, beard and all. Warhammer resting on one shoulder, shield at the ready in the opposite hand.

    "It's the Underdark!" His taller companion shouted. The dwarf stared at him before he repeating, quieter now, "It's the underdark. There's drow everywhere. Spiders, probably some demons or something. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

    "You said to me 'Oh Bjorn, mighty dwarf, ye know the lands and the underground. I am but the envoy of a minin' company.' An' I said, 'aye, I know the places. If ye be lookin fer tha best of, richest veins ye look in the underdark.'"

    "I did not grovel. Looks, it's just... it's just more dangerous than I expected, all right?"

    "An' tha's why ye have me. I get ta crack some goblin's skulls, maybe an uppity elf, an' ye get gold an' other shinies. I's a win win."

    He wanted to kill them. Not for intrusion, he no longer held the land sacred, but just because it felt right. Yet this dwarf wanted a fight. Maybe he could use the dwarf. He smiled, stalking the dwarf and the human from the shadow. Yes, scare the dwarf with webs, send him to some shrine. Live or die, the dwarf might give him some time to find something of value. An answer or something to barter. Yes. And then, then he'd kill that damn dwarf.

    He stalked them for a good week at least, blocked paths, got them turned around, at one point manage to steal their map away from them. The taller traveler, a human, was terrified by the dwarf kept wanting to go forward. Said the caverns were just taunting it and waiting for a good smacking. Eventually he got the travelers where he wanted, walking straight to some little labor camp with a particularly devout, if not particularly strong or valuable, priestess.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:39 No.7953654
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    The dwarf, incensed by enslaved humanoids, did what one would expect. He used his hammer to cave in drow skulls. Servants, weaklings, people unworthy of Drow living but fit for guarding emaciated slaves. They didn't last long against a trained warrior. To the drider it was almost poetry, unbridled wrath and blood abound. Whilst the dwarf went wild, the drider snatched up his human ward. He wasted little time in dashing the man's brains against the rocks before maneuvering to the shrine of Lolth.

    Nothing. He found nothing. No cures, no magic stones, no precious books, just damned stories about the glory of Lolth and the coming conquest of all lands. He broke the shrine, tore the books, scattered the handful of offerings, and then thought of a good release. The priestess and the dwarf, the two would likely have squared off by now. Something, something to do. Something to kill. It would have to be enough.

    He was denied even that bit of pleasure though. When he arrived the dwarf was already dead, his shield discarded and hand barely covering some fallen tome. The priestess was propped up against the wall, tired. Battered. Weak and unsatisfying. When she saw him all she could do was weakly wave her wand and beg for aid from Lolth, capricious Lolth. He wanted her to suffer, but in the end she did not last long.

    He was empty handed. No, worse, he had wasted his time. Wasted his damned time on some dwarf and some long shot heist. He swung the priestess's corpse around, bloodying it to ease some of his tension.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:40 No.7953664
         File1265496011.jpg-(39 KB, 300x350, seaspider.jpg)
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    A weapon. He had thought of it before. The dwarf had a weapon. Fists were satisfying but a weapon was dangerous. He dropped the broken body, scurrying to grab the warhammer. A good hammer. A good weapon. He spun it in his hands, admiring its craftsmanship. It was an old weapon, tales of likely ancient battles and gods engraved into it. Likely some sort of family heirloom. It was his now. He doubted the dwarf would mind its new use.

    He paused, eyeing up the dwarf. Yes. The dwarf. He was strong. Similar to him. More focussed, but similar. He used one of his legs to kick the dwarf's hand away from his book, scooping it up. He valued the book dearly. A religious book, maybe. It was important to the dwarf. He cracked the book open, eyes skimming through the pages. Cuthbert. Tyr. Martial gods. Good gods. Lolth's holy opposition. They guided the dwarf's hand in battle.

    Maybe. Maybe his too. He was desperate, but maybe this book had something in it for him. Lolth had turned against him, maybe just struggling against her would appease them. Gods granted favors for appeasement. That was how Lolth worked, he reasoned, he doubted the other gods would work differently.

    -----

    There ya faggots. Something quick to give some justifications to how a drider can find an above ground religion and moral system.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:40 No.7953670
    >>7953610
    Some monsters have a fly speed as a supernatural ability...

    But my point was that real-world spider use a system of adhesive hairs that work more or less like a gecko's toes. Is it sustainable at the size of a cow ?
    Spiders also have claws, that are not statted in 3.5. But they wouldn't allow climbing on stone surfaces.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:42 No.7953695
    >>7953670
    Reptile tits. Well, okay, I don't know of reptile tits outside of Dragonborn in 4.0 (Though I'm sure 3.5 has them somewhere). Suspension of disbelief.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:42 No.7953700
    >>7953670

    No, I know. My point was that this movement speed is not supernatural, much like land movement speeds. It's not listed as supernatural.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:44 No.7953711
    >>7953664

    That was pretty good. No full conversion yet, but it does explain how he got out of the underdark and to the surface to learn more about these gods.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:44 No.7953720
    >>7953664
    Good writefagging.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:45 No.7953724
    >>7953711
    Well, regardless of what happens in wrasslin, heel/face redemption isn't quite as easy as "I wanna be the good guy now!"
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:47 No.7953754
    >>7953670
    Well, tarantulas secrete small amounts of silk from their legs, which keeps them straight even on the smoothest wall.

    On a side note, some crab spider males do show neoteny, it seems. And as a bonus, I found this gem!

    http://www.bio.uib.no/inc/pdffiles/Pub/pub2420.pdf

    >Extraordinary sex ratios and the evolution of male neoteny in sib-mating Ozopemon beetles

    Alright, what this pretty much reads as is: Ozopemon beetle males are shotas and have massive harems consisting of their own sisters.

    Yeah, this'll be used on my dick tonight.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:48 No.7953759
         File1265496495.jpg-(79 KB, 504x328, spidermodel.jpg)
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    >>7953754
    You're coating your dick in spiders?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:48 No.7953760
    >>7953664
    So, driders can read dwarvish or common? IIRC they don't get common, but undercommon.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:48 No.7953765
    >>7953760
    Bonus language: Common.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:49 No.7953777
    >>7953765
    Okay, you got me. It was a good story, but that stuck out.

    Cool story bro. I mean it.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:51 No.7953798
    >>7953777
    I try. The basic idea is after this he starts reading the book between stomping on drow. Being that he feels wronged, all the righteous judgement and eye for an eye type of morality strikes a chord with him.

    And then the rest of the "being good" package just comes with it.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:57 No.7953887
    >>7953664
    So he goes to tyr to be transformed back into a drow, after finding a dwarf warrior that somehow finds the place to carry a book into the underdark, and a religious one ? As in "Tyr's teachings about hoow the world should be" ?
    Why would he turn to a dwarf god, when he's got ghaunadaur and all the others he know of ? And demons too ? Those grant wishes more often.
    And that still doesn't explain why he should become a lawful good paladin.

    The writefaggotry is not bad but using it as a background is.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)17:59 No.7953901
    >>7953887
    He's pissed as Lolth and everything related to Lolth, so he turns to an opposing god hoping he'll get help

    He reads the book, sympathizes with the morality, connects, and even though he came in for the wrong reasons (I wanna be the drow), he eventually finds that he agrees with the book and tries to reconcile his incredibly aggressive nature with the teachings of his new guide in life.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:00 No.7953916
    >>7953798
    Oh, he's batman, except he's spiderman.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:00 No.7953917
    >>7953887

    I think it makes a modicum of sense. Filled with hatred for Lolth and her followers, finds a powerful dwarf adventurer, he dies and leaves a book filled with "Eye for an eye" philosophy, drider finds it personally appealing and thinks that the dwarf might derive his powers from it, slowly converts.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:02 No.7953948
    All that spider talk distracted me of a very old character concept I never used.

    True Neutral drow paladin who knows the drow "backstab everyone, even yourself" philosophy is a steaming pile of shit, and being a drow in the surface is not much fun either. So he (or she, maybe) somehow strikes a deal with a Good deity. Drow does good, deity gives support, drow gets acceptance and a less shitty life on the surface since he is a paladin and all, everyone wins. Dude's out only for himself, but doing good wins him a good life, so good he does. Surprisingly resistant to corruption since falling out of grace will probably get him killed real fast.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:02 No.7953949
    >>7953916
    Never thought about it, but kind of I guess. Well, except he's trying to at least somewhat bury his burning lust for vengeance.

    Also, he doesn't wear campy spandex.

    And his parents are alive, but on the other side.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:04 No.7953997
    >>7953948
    Depends on the deity, I suppose. I imagine most would want one to be good for the sake of being good, but I can imagine a craftier or more willing to compromise deity might be willing to grant clerical/paladin/whateverthefuck powers to some one who'd use them for good. If motivated by less pure means.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:09 No.7954069
    >>7953901
    Gods opposing lolth are not rare. Vhaeraun (god of male drows and most active opponent to lolth in the underdark) and ghaunadaur (god of drow outcasts) he should know of. They're quite okay with vengeance.
    The fact that a dwarf brings him a book about tyr is far-fetched but why not. But it's not enough to make him go lawful good on the surface.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:13 No.7954140
    >>7953948
    Eillistraee can offer him a happy life among hot bitches and acceptance in waterdeep, without requiring much more than being nice and playing whack-a-mole with lolth priestesses. No discipline, no code, no widow and orphans.
    A true neutral would prefer that.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:20 No.7954246
    >>7954069
    Hold on, write faggin a bit more.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:39 No.7954492
         File1265499589.jpg-(18 KB, 400x371, SpiderWebbing.jpg)
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    He was loathe to admit it, but the book had hampered his war path. He was reading it, reading it too much. He let drow by when he was engrossed in it. He shouldn't have, he should have killed them, but the tales of violence, the words of war mixed with foreign moral lessons placated him some. Some, not always enough.

    This was one of those time. A small drow family was on the move. Minimal worth. No guards beyond themselves. They must have wagered it was a short trip. It was not short enough. At first he simply stalked them, watching for any one wearing something heavier than leather to show up. No one did. He crept behind them, scaled the walls further from the, letting his anger build up. He hadn't had a good kill in days. This was going to be a massacre, his boiling blood and aching chest demanded it. When the moment came, when the family had stopped in some winding passage to eat, he let loose a howl and charged. They didn't have a chance to draw their weapons before he was upon them. He first rammed his mass into the strongest looking one, a muscular and young male carrying a large sword. Probably their favored son, likely some one they planned to barter off to secure a better future.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:40 No.7954505
         File1265499622.jpg-(40 KB, 608x438, spiderkidnappings..jpg)
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    There would be no better future for them. He crushed the boy's body against some wall, eliciting a bloody gurgle before he was gone. Next was a daughter, leather, arrows, their heir. He took a few arrows to the abdomen and legs before shoving her onto her back. He slammed a leg down, keeping the girl in place before bringing his hammer down on her head. More satisfying than the last. Bloody. The family had practically abandoned their youngest daughter as they tried to run. He rushed past the crying ball, swinging his warhammer wildly and laughing as he gave chase. The wife took the hammer to the rips, producing a sickening crunch sound as he trampled the slower husband. He then turned, eying the young girl. He had worked himself up, his thoughts cloaking in white searing hot rage, and all he could think was to bring pain upon the girl before cutting off her life. He wanted to break her little body and wring the life from her, stare into her face as if he was staring into all of Drow society. I have won. I will kill your sons and daughters, I will be your end.

    But he didn't. It was almost instinct when he closed on the girl, and instead of breaking her bones beneath him he pushed his body up, catching himself on the wall she had pressed herself against in some misbegotten attempt to hide. She was trembling beneath him, pressing herself against the rock wall as best he could in the little space he had left her.

    He wanted to kill her. But she hadn't harmed him. She hadn't changed him. She didn't even understand what he was. Some day, maybe, but not now. Now she was just some scared little girl whom had lost her only family. A brutal family, a vicious family, but it was her's. She was innocent.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:41 No.7954521
         File1265499687.jpg-(44 KB, 650x497, Spiderfive.jpg)
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    It would have been smarter to kill her. She was a drow. If he let her go, she'd someday come back after him or his kind. It would have been more enjoyable, appeasing. And yet...

    And yet it wasn't right. He had never felt that before. Not really. He had felt what was right to him, he had felt that selfish right but this was something different.

    He couldn't explain it. He had no grasp on the words that could describe it. It just was. It was unjust to kill her. It was right to let her go.

    What he did, for once, was right.

    -----

    tl;dr it's kind of like being tempted by evil. Except in this case, good tempted him with violence then caught him in the trap of morality.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:43 No.7954543
    >>7954521
    And no, before some one starts, he's not gonna leave a little drow girl to wander the underdark alone. He's gonna pick her up, carry her somewhere, and deposit her.

    What, you think he can care for loli? He's a god damn spider person.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:46 No.7954586
    >>7951994

    3.5 players wanted to be dryders
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:47 No.7954596
    >>7954521
    Heh. That spider has a mating dance pose.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)18:48 No.7954610
    >>7954596
    Wait, what? I thought he was looking for a high five. You mean he's looking for a dick five?
    >> 4WIS 02/06/10(Sat)18:51 No.7954649
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    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:08 No.7954878
    >>7954649
    mybrainisfulloffuck.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:15 No.7954974
    >>7954649
    Best mount
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:18 No.7955017
    >>7954649

    It's just turtles all the way down.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:19 No.7955036
    >>7954543

    I like to think that he left her with the Svirfneblin. Secretly, of course.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:29 No.7955186
         File1265502592.jpg-(63 KB, 864x664, jumping spider in cicada.jpg)
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    >>7954649
    This one's stealthier!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:38 No.7955304
    >>7954543
    SANDWICH: ORIGINS.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:40 No.7955328
    >>7955304
    Did my drider just get tied back into another drow paladin?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:45 No.7955385
    >>7955328

    Yes. Yes it did. The link is now canon.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:47 No.7955416
    >>7955385
    If that actually happens, I'm actually going to need to name him.

    And I guess writefag more or something.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)19:51 No.7955472
    >>7955416

    By the way, the thread is now archived as Drider Paladin.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)20:25 No.7955941
    He was weak. He had never done that before. Sure, the little girl wouldn't understand it, but it was kindness on his part. It was weakness. He didn't remember much after picking her up. Just grabbing her, heading somewhere, dropping her off without being scene, and scurrying into the darkness.

    He was brooding. He never brooded before. He was devout as a drow, as a drider he was furious, he was never broody. He didn't have moods. He was having one right now. He had found some damned alcove in the underdark, tucked aside that damned book, and was trying to figure out what was wrong with him. It didn't take long until he turned towards his usual means of expressing himself, hitting things. He punched the rock until he hands were bloody before ramming it with his shoulder, screaming fury that he had let her go. He should have killed her. Every fiber in his being said kill her.

    No, not every fiber. New fibers were saying otherwise. Or perhaps forgotten aspects of himself being remembered. At least he wasn't brooding any more, at least he was angry again. It wasn't the same though, he was starting to feel like some petulant child. Irrational. Selfish. Selfishness, that was a good thing before! What had changed? Why had so much changed?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)20:26 No.7955946
    He swore he broke a bone in his hand after another bout of mining with his fists. He got nowhere. Mentally he was running in circles. First confusion, then hatred, then confusion, ad naseum. Rebellion at the violation of the most basic drow tenets. Self service.

    Fuck the drow, he thought. Fuck the drow. Fuck them.

    Fuck the drow. It was liberating. It was different than before. He smiled. It was a liberating sensation, not fury with the drow but disinterest. No, he hated them. He hated them still. Their names, their faces, they brought in him a great fury and yet it wasn't the same as before. He had wanted to be a drow. He had wanted to go back to that society.

    He didn't want that. It was a strange, sudden sensation. A culmination of weeks worth of untended to thought. Of questions and reading. Words between all the blood, words speaking of new ways of thought and action.

    Fuck the drow. They wronged him. They wronged him and he didn't need to rejoin them. He finally had an outsider's view of his old life, and his old life was horrible. Crushing. Brutal. It was wrong. Not just selfish, not just harsh, it was wrong. Fundamentally wrong. Horribly wrong.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)20:26 No.7955956
    He frowned as he contemplating that thought. They were wrong, then what did that make him? He served that life so long. He still lived by their codes, still wanted their rules. Why had he killed all those drow? It wasn't because they were evil, it was because he was angry. He was furious. He wanted something he thought they had. It was no better, it was no different.

    Why did he spare that child? She didn't deserve to die. It wasn't right to kill her. It was different. It was painful, gut wrenching, went against the grain, dissatisfying, mind bending, almost soul destroying in its stark opposition to his entire life. It was right.

    Maybe he needed to spend more time with that damned dwarf's book. Maybe it had answers. It spoke of war and violence but it wasn't angry. He was angry. How could he emulate that peaceful, righteous, bloody struggle? In his mind that idea rang true, far better than his massacres and rampage. It filled an empty void where Lolth, foul Lolth, vile Lolth once was. It was a thing to aspire to. A thing to direct his rage towards.

    He needed to read.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)20:52 No.7956272
    Moar please
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)20:55 No.7956306
    >>7953887
    Tyr isn't a Dwarven God
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:04 No.7956408
    >>7956306
    And then you have that elven bitch in Neverwinter Nights. She was an elf, right?

    Point being, Tyr likes all dem races.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:08 No.7956458
    >>7956408
    as long as you follow the path of Justice he doesn't care what race you are
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:18 No.7956570
    >>7953887

    Tyr is the norse god of war. You suck.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:23 No.7956647
    >>7956570
    the Forgotten Realms version of Tyr isn't a war god
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:26 No.7956696
    >>7956647
    http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Tyr
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:29 No.7956718
    >>7956647
    Tyr is here to fuck elves and punch unjust bitches. That is his primary, and only, objective.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:48 No.7956951
    why don't you go with the god Hoar instead

    http://forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Hoar

    since you are playing 3.5 he would be Lawful Neutral
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:51 No.7956994
    >>7956951
    Because he's not neutral or evil. He's good, or trying to be.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:51 No.7957004
    >>7956994
    Hoar allows Paladins
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:53 No.7957027
    >>7957004
    He's also gone evil recently, and is just revenge. The character's concept is the reconciliation of revenge and rage with good acts and justice.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:55 No.7957047
    >>7957027
    in 3.5 he isn't evil and the OP is playing 3.5
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:56 No.7957068
    >>7957047
    Fair 'nough. He's still basically just revenge.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)21:57 No.7957084
    I'd buy it in Planescape, and Planescape only.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)22:01 No.7957149
    >>7957084
    damn near anything can happen in Planescape
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)22:02 No.7957168
    >>7957149
    Its also the only setting in which he'd have any chance of survival.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)22:04 No.7957191
    >>7957168
    true enough
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)22:05 No.7957200
    Rattling chest, labored breaths, it was all he could feel. He had made his way closer to the surface world, thinking perhaps to someday leave the underdark and learn of the world above when he caught them. Drow slavers, carrying a new catch from above ground. Humans, all humans, varying shapes, sizes, colors, and age. All had a value. Sacrifice, work, coin, tribute, all had a value to these slavers. Fresh catch, the few that had been tied up had rope. Most were just kept in line by the guards circling them. Some had humans draped over their shoulders, heads rolling about as they were carried across the uneven floor. The slavers themselves spoke of the ease of their catch, of the frailty of human guards, of the things they'd do when they sold the slaves. Of the things they'd do to the slaves if they found the time.

    He had tried not to kill, gnawed his lips 'itll they bled when drow passed near him, but this was too much. These cocky, sure Drow. Something else stirred in tune with his fury, something speaking of justice and righteous punishment, but it was almost entirely drowned out by the mix of envy and anger he felt. He needed them dead. He needed them dead if he was going to sleep, if he was going to eat. His body demanded and he could no longer deny. He used his favored tactic, perhaps his only viable tactic against such large groups. He rushed forth across the stones, kicking up loose pebbles and tearing what little flora survived the dark as he charged the slavers. The first had no chance to react, lifted into the air before being brought back down by his warhammer. He then brought his shield to the front, catching a few hastily shot arrows as the slavers scrambled to regroup. He swung his hammer, bashed with his shield, and did what he could to keep them separate.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)22:05 No.7957209
    In the end they were too underequipped to handle him. They were hunting easy slaves, not driders. Their lack of proper equipment did not make his wounds sting any less though. Arrows stuck from his abdomen, blood gently oozing down his dark skin. He turned, turned to the stunned slaves with a wild look in his eyes. He was still angry. Still hungering for death. His mind was a tumultuous maelstrom, constructed of murder and ways it could be done. Yes, he thought, he would kill them and perhaps consume them. He began to encroach, and that niggling voice from before was in his head again.

    It wasn't right. He was better than that. He was better than before. It wasn't right. He stopped, staring at the slaves with a hunger burning stronger than before. Every crevice of his mind was fury but that one part. That one bit, that new thing he had gained from reading. That nameless voice that reminded him, reminded him what he was trying to do. What he wanted to be. What he should be. What innocence was and what should be done with it.

    Labored breath and rattling bones. He gripped his hammer tightly as he savored the thought of the death he could bring to them.

    He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. He wordlessly left them, breathing deeply to try and counteract that heady rage. Perhaps the world above was not quite for him. Not yet.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)22:49 No.7957828
    >>7957168
    Actually, don't Paladins get an aura of good? Approach clerics and paladins first, then use them to get into society without at least fatal harm.
    >> Iron Lung 02/06/10(Sat)22:56 No.7957939
    >>7957209
    This is some excellent writefaggery. MOAR! MOAR!
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)23:10 No.7958140
    >>7955304


    !!!
    >> BlueThief 02/06/10(Sat)23:34 No.7958471
    Speaking of crossovers, I tought of Sandwich with Pallydude and Drow-chan for shenanigans on Lolth, how does that sound?
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)23:37 No.7958515
    >>7958471
    YetAnotherWritefag had a small piece on that crossover, but MOAR is requested
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)23:40 No.7958545
    Bumpy bumperson for bumpityness.
    >> Anonymous 02/06/10(Sat)23:41 No.7958555
    >>7951994
    not exactly if you back back to first edition you can play as any monster if you want to within reason a drider would work even a minotaur but they would have to be able to talk etc but it wasnt used that often since it wasnt a great idea to do such a thing
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)00:50 No.7959664
    BUMP.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)01:24 No.7960190
    moar drider pics
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)02:02 No.7960747
    bump for more writefaggotry
    >> BlueThief 02/07/10(Sun)02:50 No.7961415
         File1265529022.jpg-(55 KB, 793x1144, 1247581352340.jpg)
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    >>7960190
    >>7960747
    More of BOTH.
    >> BlueThief 02/07/10(Sun)02:51 No.7961432
         File1265529077.jpg-(159 KB, 1090x1500, 1247581433505.jpg)
    159 KB
    >> BlueThief 02/07/10(Sun)02:53 No.7961462
         File1265529208.jpg-(80 KB, 924x800, 1249396148510.jpg)
    80 KB
    >> BlueThief 02/07/10(Sun)03:03 No.7961596
         File1265529824.jpg-(63 KB, 502x545, 1258608781620.jpg)
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    Almost 1GB on my /tg/ folder and this are all my dryder pictures? now i'm depressed.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)03:13 No.7961690
    Why wouldnt you just take your average non drider paladin and have him be involved with a terrible polymorphing accident?
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)03:15 No.7961703
    >>7961690
    because the op wants to start as a drider
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)03:17 No.7961721
         File1265530670.jpg-(76 KB, 535x576, 1258135338324.jpg)
    76 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)05:32 No.7962806
    >>7961703
    >>7961690
    Exactly. I wanted to run with the idea of a spiteful angry paladin, and a Drider seemed perfect for it.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)05:33 No.7962816
    ..here's a question for Pathfinder players.

    Would a drider get the cavalier's charge abilities in the same way a cavalier centaur would?
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)07:56 No.7963965
    "Where." A low growl, free hand gripped around the throat of some drow as he held her up over the rock floor.

    "Oh Lolth please don't kill me." Cowardice as the only tongue she seemed to know. He slowly tightened his grip until he had her in a coughing fit before loosening.

    "To the north... north... river... she's part of a deal..." Finally he let go of her, gathering up his warhammer. He doubted he had much time to waste on her.

    And then she let out a sigh of relief. That was enough to set him off again. He reared up, swinging his warhammer down and crushing her face from the side. It fellt good, satisfying. She probably deserved it. He smiled as he used his hand to wipe a bit of blood off his favored weapon. He needed to find this girl. He had barely remembered how he caught word of her plight. Maybe he had overheard them talking about, but all he knew was that some drow daughter was getting sacrificed as part of some demonic pact. It seemed like a good enough cause to be angry about. He gripped his warhammer tightly. He needed to find the river the dead informant spoke of. It shouldn't take him long, he reasoned, as an undeground river should be a distinct enough noise in the area.

    It took him a good thirty minutes but he caught the river at one of its bends. He wasn't certain he was heading north but he hoped the river was confirmation enough.

    The two drow guards he ended up killing seemed to be indicative he had found the right path. A small house bartering for power with some demon. Few guards, weak guards, but all it took was one to let them know they had a reason to speed up their bargain.

    He got there late. Some smokey figure of some malevolent beast hunched over some matronly drow and her three daughters.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)07:57 No.7963976
    "Ohhh. Looks like you've got some company. I suggest you learn quickly, then." The smoking demon cackled before curling inwards and simply ceasing to exist on this plane. The elder drow turned to face him, barking out orders as her daughters brought dark powers against him. At least he gathered what they wanted from the demon. Embryonic infernal powers weren't going to put him down but it was certainly rougher than a handful of under trained soldiers. There wasn't much rhyme or reason to his rampage. He would simply charge one sister, hit her with his hammer until she was bloodied and, presuming she was dead, move on to the next. They wouldn't always give in to death so easily though. The first sister, yes, but the second and third he had thought dead when they interrupted his charge against their mother.

    They were still far younger and less driven than him. it did not take long to rectify that mistake. The matronly drow was much more challenging though. She was not quite accustomed to the ways of direct combat but she had years over her daughters. She was a frustrating little bug, dancing aside his over handed swings and pelting him with dark energy.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)07:57 No.7963983
    And yet one dodge proved fatal to her. Amidst the combat he had forgotten his reasons for coming, of that daughter intended to be sacrificed. When she moved away he got his reminder. The eldest, last daughter was crumpled up near the river, throat slit, blood staining the rocks and slowly being washed away by the river.

    He couldn't think. He couldn't see. His ears were pounding and he was certain some noise was coming out of his throat but what manner he knew not. Something new was screaming in the depths of his chest, not a voice but an idea. A sensation. White blotted his vision for so long until, in the end, he was triumphant over that matron. No prolonged torture, no satiating his rage, just triumphant. He turned back to the dead daughter, thinking to find her burial. Something more appropriate than the indignity she suffered crumpled by the river.

    The matron, in one last defiant act, grasped a sharp rock and jammed it into his carapace. He howled, slamming his hammer down on her back once more to ensure she was dead. A sigh passed by his lips as his muscles relaxed. He felt... exhausted. Spent. Something still stirred in him. Not fury, not that white hot fury, but something different. Understanding, epiphany, perhaps conscience? He couldn't label it but it fellt good. Nice.

    He lumbered over to the sacrificed daughter while his hands ripped the stone from his carapace. There wasn't any thinking, he simply pull it and pressed his hand against it. The wound closed, knitting itself like a spider weaving a web. His legs buckled and he gave in, laying down as best he could next to the girl.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)07:58 No.7963992
    A god. Yes, that seemed right. Something divine had touched him, guided him. That was not the anger he was used to, that was anger on behalf of some one else. The haze had lifted and in that brief moment of clarity he realized the enormity of it. He hadn't just heard the words of a new manner of thought, for a brief moment he thought like it. And some divine entity had heard that, perhaps had been watching him all along, and saw promise in him.

    It was still rage. He knew that when he awoke there'd still be a boiling hate in him even if he tried to guide it. It was imperfect.

    But, at least for now, it was good enough.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)08:20 No.7964194
    Require Moar this is fucking badass
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)08:25 No.7964220
    Drider are formed of Drow.

    Drow are ALWAYS EVIL

    3.5 Paladins cant be non-good.
    >> Anonymous 02/07/10(Sun)08:26 No.7964229
    >>7964220
    Drow are typically evil. Not always. And they're not all just Drizzt (Though a fair amount of them are, yes)

    >>7964194
    Maybe another time. This about covers what I was interested in showing, the whole "How can a Drider go be a paladin" bit



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