(Housekeeping: No Quest on the week of Thanksgiving. It's pretty definite that I'll be working that night, then there's a holiday, then I'll be working early the next morning. Go see your families or something)

Sweet, chill out in space while waiting for words from higher-ups to arrive.

>>16747602
We do not wish to have to fight a war with the UED at this time. Our powerbase in the Koprulu Sector may be secure (by a thread), but the unified Protoss Empire is still on our doorstep, and we only have a half-finished forward base in the Lutrious system.
None of this should be realized by the UED, by the way. Let's see how their leaders respond to our non-hostile overtures.

>>16747602
Avoid any unfortunate incidents. We can lose this puppet without incident. We cannot do the same by starting another way.

Look out for any party-crashers as we wait.

We definately have to mention that they 'owe us' when whoever get backs with word from command.

What are them 'umies up to now? And the status of their fleet?

>>16747695
Wait, how do they 'owe' us?

>>16747703

We saved a UED planet from Dyles by attacking their fleet from the rear.

Our last words to them before we left was: you owe us.

>>16747695
Zerg Quest, I think we have a defective overlord. That, or our overmind nodes are going senile.

Have our ridge scratchers go into overtime, and check our cerebral masses for recent damage.

>>16747734

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15571951/#15574231

>>16747787
>>16747734
Ah, gotcha, missed that one.

I think the revelation might be good to do once we're talking to higher-ups though.

>>16747703
(We stomped Dyles' invasion of one of their worlds a while back)

>>16747695
All we know of the UED's forces is that two of their battlecruisers are staring us down.

>>16747738
>Have our ridge scratchers go into overtime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=BgYBRVL2Ef0#t=24s

>>16747657
>>16747666
>>16747673
Three more battlecruisers arrive in the system, accompanied by a substantial number of smaller ships, some of which we can't identify.

After a quick bit of encoded talk between the newcomers and Harris' ships, they form a clear firing circle around our overlord. We receive a transmission:

"To the alien life form trespassing in Terran space: you will identify yourself and submit yourself to intensive screening for Psi-Amphibious infection immediately, or we will not hesitate to burn away every atom of your body. Do you understand?"

>>16747893
"Sure bro, don't be so negative. You can call us Bob."

>>16747893

Are we still keeping the stoned fratboy image?

Ask them if they refer to the dyles entity and that we would submit for inspection.

Also ask who are we speaking to.

Check with labbrate and internbrate while scanning and picking up what we can. What are these new ships and can pick out any advancements that they might have and what their role might be.

>>16747946
>Are we still keeping the stoned fratboy image?

(Good question! It's up to you guys)

>>16747936
Brotalk: 1
No. That's quite enough silliness: 0

>>16747893
"Sure, dude. No need to be so negative, man, you're harshing our vibes. Call us Hash."
Well, our technical name WAS the Hassassin Brood.

>>16747893
"Hah, bro, this isn't trespassing, this is me coming by to say wassup! If you're not cool with it I can leave, y'know; don't have to get all intensive with the scans and insisting on submission and all that. Not cool, not cool."

>>16748030

It was? News to me man.

That being said, continue playing the stoned idiot. I wanna see how long they keep buying it.

>>16747998
>>16748106

Let them assume that we are stoned idiot alien(s).

It may make them cocky or careless.

>>16748106
>>16748138
We play the dopey and bumbling older brother to Kerrigan whenever we talk with her, and we're the dapper gentleman to the Protoss.
I think it completely in-character for Cerebrate to play a different role when talking to different people.

>>16748192
I agree, and be sure to ask about any cartoons they have. Bro talking to the UED is the strangest thing we've done.

>>16748106
(You guys decided on that. The Zerg never really named their own Broods, so I've never done anything with it. The names we have were actually the Confederacy's code-names. *shrug*)

>>16748138
>>16748106
>>16748089
>>16748030
"No biggie, man. We're the Zerg. Totally come in peace and stuff. Scan away."

Our overlord is bombarded with mostly harmless radiation, and silence.

"No need for the cold shoulder, dude. What's your handle, anyway?"

"Can the act. We've detected substantial psionic activity. Even if it's not consistent with the goddamn toads, your biology matches with a species of alien we found extinct on a destroyed world. Gargantis proximae. Only you're definitely not Gargantis proximae. So what's the deal? Are you a species taken so fully by the toads that you don't even need one of their parasites? Well?"

>>16748327

"Man, the last place I went to in this joint was called Nickenae. Any idea how to get back there again?"

>>16748327

SERIOUS MODE ENGAGED.

>>16748327
Gargantis proximae, make a note to find out where that is.

Toads? I thought they were tadpoles? The don't taste good.
>tiotlyi zorgiebel
And you're a total zorgiebel, yo.

>>16748327
"Gargantis proximae? Doesn't ring a bell, man. But my family's been around for a much longer time than I have, and we've lost touch with our roots a bit, y'know what I'm sayin'? And who're you callin' a toad? That guy's a total prick, always trying to crash on my couches. Planets. I meant planets."

>>16748409
(Hint: Google Gargantis proximae)

>>16748327
"Toads? You know, sticks and stones may break my carpace, but words... they hurt, man. Psychy-wychy stuff is how we roll. I mean, how would you feel about us like judging you over that you flap around with air-waves for communication?"

>>16748327

Aw shit, son. They did their homework. At least on alien species.

Keeping up the deception may try their patience to a dangerous level.

>>16748420

Huh.

>The Gargantis proximae are or were semi-intelligent space-faring organisms whose homeworld is still not known. Like many other species, they were unfortunately assimilated into the Zerg Swarm in order to benefit their warriors in battle with their heightened senses. This assimilation process was exceptionally successful, and the Gargantis proximae soon became known as the Overlords, one of the highest-tiered Zerg strains in existence.

The more you know.

>>16748327
Oh those dudes. Nah bro, we just use the same sort of stuff, but less infecting others more hive mind sorta dealie.

>>16748420
Huh, look at that, still, we probably wouldn't know a latin UED designation for them anyway.

>>16748327
....Oh, I am so tempted to drop the act now, and reveal ourselves as the cold and calculating alien intelligence, like an actor dropping one mask to take up another.
But on the other hand, I just want to troll these UED guys by keeping up the stoner speech pattern.

"Dude, you need to chill.
"We're, like, a psionic hive-mind, and we've got holes in our memory, man. We got a buncha' different genomes in our mix, sorta like a...like a...like a...
"Big pot of gumbo, man. Anyway, man, like, our bro here is made from one of the species we got in our genetic memory. Don't know where they all came from, but the're there, and we use them when we need'em."

>>16748451
(Blizzard's oddity, not mine. The only reference to them is in the Zerg part of the manual. I think Blizzard's basic idea is that they just had a sort of inherent latin name. For the sake of moving stuff along, assume you guys know the species. Daddy ate them to death, after all)

>>16748456
>cold and calculating
Haha, what?

>>16748327

"Dem giant proxies' be finnnnnne eatin'."

>>16748456
I say we switch to a SHODAN/Tokyo Rose persona if they don't buy it. Sweet-voiced, vaguely alluring, and designed to lull them into a sense of security. The one we came up with back when we were discussing what avatar we wanted to present to the captive human populations.

>>16748488
Don't think terms of "eating" other races would be so appreciated, we should do it more along the terms of "Yeah, those guys, we're like them... only better, so those proxy guys Number 2... but better, so number 1"

Oh God. /tg/ this is a very important matter.

Is Radio Free Zerg playing on our Radio Station right now?

>>16748688
An actual physical radio station... I am perplexed and amused.

>>16748491
>>16748491

I'll second serious-ing up if they become visibly agitated by continuing the brostuff.

dudes

>>16748842
When we do drop it we pass the whole thing off as a way to avoid being shot on site, because we watch those alien invasion movies too.

>>16748869
Or! We could finish with "Aw, fine, I'll pass it off to someone else if you're gonna be so square about it. I never get to kick back with anyone."

Then we flex our psychic muscles- surely they've got sensors- and abruptly shift our personality, like someone else has taken control of the conversation. Make them think there's really more than one of us.

>>16748688
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7XV9fRAhu0

(I like to imagine that this is canonically something the Swarm created while the Overmind waited for something. Like, the Overmind was an amateur emcee when nothing important was going on)

>>16748488
>>16748456
>>16748447
>>16748427
>>16748417
>>16748377
"Whoa, lay off the harshness, brah. We've met those guys. They're all pretty hot about this guy Dyles, but we just don't feel it. Like, this one time, we were passing through this system...Nickenae, I think...and they were all 'Imma eat your babies' and we were all 'lay off the babies, man!' 'course, we were holdin', so we had to split before the fuzz could get us. It's all cool, man."

The aggravation in the man's voice on the comm increases slightly, along with a note of skepticism: "You're claiming to be behind the force that saved Nickenae colony? The ones who said we OWED them? Is that what you're saying?"

>>16748908
Can overlords grin. If so I think we should say Maybe with a big shit-eating grin on our overlord.

>>16748908

"Naaaah, those homies did the heavy lifting. We just prodded the doouchbag to piss off."

>>16748901

Reply with generic Zerg echo-y voice.

" *He* was not the one behind the routing of Dyles at Nickanae. That was done through me."

>>16748901

Like what this guy said. Let it be known to them now that the stoner idiot overlord isn't talking. But something so much more. Kind of like in the first season of Doctor Who when the Dalek Emperor makes his entrance.

>>16748908
"Oh yeah, we were all like, 'man we gotta say something cool' like and we were like 'oh yeah, like all omnious and shit' so we like went with 'You owe us' and shit was so cash. It's chill though bro, totally chill. Though... I mean, it'd be nice with something as a thank you."

I would be ok if we start changing over to something more serious, as suggested in the way of >>16748901

>>16748908
Start off with >>16748950
Preferably with the biggest troll-face that the Overlord can manage over a radio transmission.
Then, if the UED really can't handle being trolled by being so butthurt and u mad, then go with >>16748901

>>16748950
>>16749004
>>16749011
>>16749013
>>16749036
(So, I'm a little drunk. Are we switching to Serious Mode™?)

Meant to reply to
>>16748908

with
>>16749011

I think we have a battlecrusier or two in the area we could have them pop in, tell the overlord to shut up and go home. Just to confound the UED more.

>>16749108

I'd vote for switching to serious mode.

>>16749108

Why not.

I suspect its playing havoc with your writing to fit that stoned image.

>>16749108
I vote for starting Bro-mode, switching to Serious mode in the vein of >>16749011

>>16749115

>warp in

"Steve! What the hell did we tell you about antagonizing the aliens?"

"Aw, chill out man. I'm just bro-ing it up with harr-dawg and his boss here and---"

"Ugh. Steve, I am sick to DEATH of your stoner antics. God, you're such an embarrassment to your entire race. Now get in the slipspace stream and warp yourself right to home."

"But I'm just trying t---"

"Godammit Steve, GOD HELP YOU IF YOU DON'T WARP OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW, I WILL BURN YOU TO YOUR BASE ATOMS. NOW GET INTO THE WARPSTREAM! "

>>16749150
>>16749143
>>16749117
(Grrrr. Need more votes!)

>>16749202
>>16749361
I like my idea of warping in a bc and yelling at the overlord, no since in letting them think we're some sort of hive mind.

>>16749361
Considering that all posts after you called the question seems to have been in favor more or less for Serious Mode, the difference mainly being how this is to be achieved, I'd say just go for Serious mode.

And for how to do this, I personally vote for doing it by switching psychic voice over warping in other ships/overlords/whatever. They know we are psychic already, and no idea making them twitch their trigger fingers by warping in new stuff

>>16749361
1 more vote to switch to Serious Mode, but only by bringing in another actor or making it obvious that the controlling force is being switched, to keep up the illusion that there are actually different personalities, and not just a Cerebrate playing with puppets and masks, with a giant troll-face.

>>16749202
Seconding this dialogue, but instead of a battlecruiser, just use another Overlord.

>>16749202
this 10000 times this

>>16749011

Voting for this into serious mode.

>>16749011
Voting for this into Serious Mode. If we're going to be Serious, might as well be SERIOUS.

>>16749011

This, we have acted the buffoon long enough.

>>16749391
(Sorry. Mentioned the drunk part, didn't I?)

We do our best to shift our voice and tone into the multiform song of the Swarm.

"We are many forms. Our mind speaks through a billion tongues, but with one voice. We have battled this Dyles creature and its ilk across the stars. We have no quarrel with your kind. We spoke in earnest of peace."

There is only a moment's hesitation before the Terran speaks again:

"Figured that hippie bullshit was a cover. What are you, then?"

>>16749528
We are pseudo hivemind that was created by a now long extinct race of... I guess mad scientists or explorers would be the most accurate. We've been wandering around looking at stuff, and stumbled on the Dyles entity, and found it an affront to everything we stand for, so we were going to exterminate it, but got side tracked dealing with a genocidal AI that came from your homeworld, we're not going to hold that against you.

>>16749528

"We are the Zerg collective hivemind. You may refer to us as Cerebrate.

As the Head-of-State of the Zerg Collective, we request to speak to your's, that we may begin talks to mutual benefit."

>>16749528
"We are Zerg, many as one. We are enemies of your enemy, we have not raised any form of weapon at you and we try to live without quarrel with others. Now, who are You? Ever since we made our presence announced you have done little but threaten us."

>>16749657

ANON, we are Cerebrate ANON. Of the Hassassin brood.

rolled 24, 90 = 114

>>16749528
"We are the children of the gods. Second born of the Xel'naga. We are known by our foes and friends alike, as the Zerg."

We should try and get them to like us! I like when the new faction likes us! Maybe this time we can even get them to like us long enough for us to properly backstab them unlike the mess that happened with Voidgate.

>>16749528
"That 'hippie bullshit', as you call it, still kept you from shooting first and asking questions later. We have seen your movies, your entertainment, and the kinds of xenocidal AI's that your race creates.
"As for what we are, we are a psionic collective, utilizing various bio-forms to interact with the galaxy."

"We are the Zerg. For eons, we marched under the banner of the Overmind, absorbing species and changing them to suit our needs...but the Overmind is dead, now. We march to our own rhythm, now. We have redefined ourselves. We seek a peaceful coexistence with humanity."

"Yeah, we got a lot of that sort of rot from the toads. Their idea of peaceful coexistence is eating us and growing new tadpoles out of our faces. What sort of guarantee do we have that you're not looking for the same thing?"

>>16750097
"Fine be that way," and leave in a huff.

rolled 19 = 19

>>16750097

"What Guarantee do I have that you won't turn out to be colossal douchebags and attempt to psionicly enslave my race or try to abduct and experiment on one of my flesh forms? As many of your classical forms of media show you doing?

>>16750097

"Perhaps the fact that we spared Nickenae? A perfect opportunity to consume one of your worlds and we did not."

>>16750097
"Paranoia, such a very... human trait. One we haven't absorbed too much of from the specimen that have joined us."

>>16750097

So Dyles has tried his hand at subterfuge and turned on the UED.

Now we need to diplomance it up. We can either go:

1.) Your policy of colony lockdown with no immediate reassurance of aid, as well as Dyles' resurgent efforts to eat us, speaks that your conflict with Dyles is not going so well. We have a similar (but superior) biological MO to Dyles. If you agree not to kill us and/or point us in the direction of Dyles, we'll help you wipe him off the face of the Korpulu Sector. You don't even have to tell us where your 'contested' colonies are, you can just direct us to where Dyles is strongest and we'll do our best to make sure that his resources are diverted to dealing with us while you do some toad house-cleaning on your borders. Or whatever you UED guys are doing.

If we fail, Dyles will at the very least be stalled and delayed for a very long time. If we are successful, you will only have to deal with the immediate threat of Dyles on your borders, while we deal with the bulk of the Dyles entity.


2.) Exchange some significant technology that might help the UED out in regard to combatting Dyles, but we can also afford to lose out on.

3.) Introduce the UED to the protoss and the Morian government. Show them that we are really not here to eat everyone, and if we were, the Morian government would be a non-existent right now.

>>16750247

Before we reveal the existance of the morian combine, we'd better get them to agree to non-interference of internal affairs.

Otherwise they're gonna try and get them to rise up and overthrow us.

>>16750176

Not to mention that more than one Terran dictator has attempted to enslave us to be their rabid attack dogs.

It didn't end well.

>>16750263
Let's also keep away from using infested/cloned terrans from the eyes of the UED, they seem to be paranoid enough about mind-controlling bugs.

>>16750097

Mention that we spared Nickanae when we could've easily taken over it. Also, we are choosing to talk to them instead of sneakily attacking their colonies while they are undoubtedly wrangling with the Dyles entity.

Diplomacy is also a two-way street. Throw in a more polite version of >>16750176

As far as benefits to allying with us (or agreeing not to kill us), point out #1 in >>16750247

>>16750266
>more than one

Kingston and...?

>>16750263
>>16750364
(Darn good points)

"The same guarantee we have that you won't kill us on sight. The same guarantee we have that you won't decide we're too similar to your enemies and declare war on us. The same guarantee we have that you're not already infected. That is to say, distasteful as it may seem, we must trust one another."

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16747602/

(Sadly, I'm afraid it's getting near to sleepy time for you old pal Cerebrate Anon! Should be a quest every week up until the week of Thanksgiving. Probably the same with December and Christmas, but I'll get back to you on that)

To make up for leaving you, I give you this:

http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/255/e/b/bat_cat_by_neoslashott-d49iof2.swf

It's a good thing I wasn't in control from the start.

We'd be at war already.

>>16750576

>That flash

Dammit, what have you done!
(I cant turn it offfff)

>>16750603
I know, right?

It's great!

>>16750576

So have they grudgingly agreed to open up talks with us? Or have we phrased our response and are going to have to see their reply next week?

>>16750576

>two dictators

KINGSTOOOOOOON and Mengsk.

>>16750662
(I'm going to type up their response next week)

(On a mostly-unrelated note, I found the Shit Happens list. Of the 11 things I had on it, 3 have already happened, and another 6 either can't happen or just don't make sense anymore. I'm still a little disappointed that you guys dodged the possible VoidGate return so easily. I should have made it more likely. Oh, well)

>>16750685
I almost forgot about Mengsk. He's so smalltime in our version of the timeline!

>>16750735

Do tell.

Of the shit that can't happen anymore.

>>16750783
It was a d6 chart (expanded to d10 after you got #3).

1 - Kingston discovers Xenta
2 - Dyles shows up over Lutrious
3 - The Protoss use the big crystal to revive Adun
4 - Moria contacts us to open trade agreements
5 - (Unlikely, but it could still happen)
6 - VoidGate had backups in Dagobah's databanks. This one could either be activated by a roll on the chart, or by you guys failing in a roll to reactivate those databanks. You guys rolled so goddamn close to the wire on this...
3 (#2!) - Kingston attacks Moria to consolidate his power
7 - Kerrigan attacks Umoja to establish a base of operations
8 - The Protoss approach Kingston for a treaty against us
9 - The Protoss attack Kingston in retaliation for the destruction of Shakuras. Genocide ensues
10 - (A terrifying possibility. Pray that I never make it happen)