rolled 97 = 97

Allow me to say: Wut?

>>18891776
Mind jumping siblings?

>feeding pyromaniac dog
>feeding fire hydrant cat
Man, what is up with your pets, the hell do you feed them? Do you feed the dog kibbles'n'coal?

Okay, I know that this would be mechanically terrible, and will likely get shot down for being too silly even for /tg/, but does anyone else REALLY want to find a way to turn our Core into Megas? The way we end up piloting/fighting most of the time, it would be kind of appropriate.

>>18892174
... if we can do that, can we give our mech a horned head and paint it purple with a few green stripes?

>>18892206
>>18892174
I thought we were trying to get some sanity in this quest and pilot in a way that fits our specialty and keeps us alive. You know, so we don't DIE.

>>18892174
>>18892206
How about drills? Can we add drills?

I almost want to partake in these shenanigans because I know how much it annoys AC-Guy but I also don't want to because I know how much it annoys AC-Guy

Not sure close ranged attacks would be good for a mid ranged specialist.

YOU ARE ALEX RASTON. Briefly, you feel like you're being watched. It fades pretty quickly, so you choose to ignore it.

Looking into the back of the car, you see that Mooch is trying to talk Dave into some other harebrained scheme "... so my thinking is this: We just take the concept of one of those stupid magical girl shows that Japan used to pump out, and tweak it for here."

"Alright, how?"

"Historical figures, RE-IMAGINED!"

"Alright, who?"

"Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison. In the re-imagined version, Nicole is a quirky, civil mad scientist type and Tomi is her upper-crust intellectual equal and eternal rival. They both go to High-School in a vague conglomeration of various American cities. They go to class, try to out-do each other in various events with SCIENCE, and crush on the same boys. I can get some cheap animators out of Korea that do good work for like 5 bucks an episode, and then we sell that shit here and live like kings!"

Dave slowly turns to the rest of you "....Guys, help. Mooch is starting to make sense. I don't know what that means, but it can't be good."

"Ignore it, we're here." Elsie chimes in.

Pulling into the lot, Lawrence looks around. "Oh. HERE is where he wanted to meet. Of course." And with that he gets out of the car, and begins to head inside, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. The rest of you soon follow.

>>18892174
>>18892206
>>18892224
>>18892242

>Go right ahead. I love watching stupid players get killed.

>It's like watching Darwinism in action.

>>18892279
I'd watch that anime.

>>18892305
It would probably be pretty amusing.

>>18892305

>Given the unexplainable success of Strike Witches, I have a new plan to make millions of dollars: Call LG, and have him help me write the first season over a bottle of whiskey.

>Between the two of us and our terrible plot hooks, we could probably get enough right there to retire and watch the fan base hate us forever for not giving it a proper ending.

>Or if we're feeling evil, hand it over to Gainax.

>>18892279
I'm not sure if it speaks well or ill of me that I would watch the everliving shit out of that show.

Gotta get up for work in 7 hours, let's get moving. I napped just for this.
BTW, the new AC5 bosses are ridiculous, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KILL THE BOAT? IT'S A STAGGER MACHINE!!!

>>18892353

>It means that you will be one of my many rubes when I finally decide to take of the kid gloves and start trolling the world on Hideaki Anno's scale.

>>18892349
You and LG doing this concept?
My GOD, the trolling!

>>18892224
I thought the point was to be having fun. We might get a Bad End, but our cursed rolls might well send us there anyway, and so long as we enjoy ourselves getting there, so what? Hell, one of my few criticisms of this quest is Elsie's constant insistence/implication that we have some form of PTSD. Sure, tragedy happened, and sure, now we've got more responsibilities, but overall, Alex has been enjoying himself! Piloting a giant robot, fighting bandits, entering an arena for cash and glory, hanging out with our friends, family, and love interest.... What part of that screams "I'm traumatized!" to her?

>>18892380
Technically, Alex is acting differently than before he became a player character.

I think.

>>18892390
Beffore he was passable as sane.

>>18892390
>>18892400
True enough, but he was a blank slate from the players' perspectives, so that doesn't seem like an excuse. How could we have acted in-character if we had no idea what that was? Hell, apparently hooking up with Elsie at all was OOC for Alex. Besides, doesn't that mean any trauma started BEFORE the attack? Alex is no more crazy than any other product of /tg/'s disassociative identity hivemind.

>>18892488
But this time, we have giant robot.

When you get inside, you see Laurie sitting in a corner of the bar with the three members of team Mo Betta you met the other day. And a fourth one who you realize is the other guy they mentioned earlier.

"... so anyway, with you fuckers taking all that damage and not bothering to win, I figure we need an alternative method to make some money. Here's my thought: we fund some cheap anime studio out of Korea to make one of those bullshit magical girl shows, and roll in the bank."

"What? Who would watch that shit?"

"If we added a couple of Moe characters? Losers the world over. I figure we've got a solid target by taking Tesla and Edison and setting them as Teenage girls or something. OR! Lovecraft. We make Lovecraft a punky high-school version of Laura Croft in the 1920s, trying to stop the antics of several bored gods who've decided to take the forms of teenage girls and started going to her high-school. cue fan-service when more than one of them tries to get into her pants to try and find out why humans are so fascinated by things like love and sex."

Laurie looks back and forth between Mooch and this yet unknown forth man, with an expression that can only say 'oh god, there's two of them'. Then Dervish spots you and waves you over to introduce the forth member of their team. He's slightly shorter than the other three, and even though he wears pretty much the same outfit as the rest of his team, he somehow manages to look vaguely 'scruffy' in it. "This-" Dervish says "-is Jesse. He's hard to describe past that point."

"Yeah, we've got one like that."

"God, I hope not. To of them in one place would break the universe."

[ ] Introduce your team.
[ ] Wave over a waitress.
[ ] Ask why Laurie's trying to huddle up in the corner and hide from everyone.

Could be that she's projecting her own problems onto us.

>>18892553
[x] Introduce your team.
Do the polite thing.

>>18892553
Introduce team.

>>18892390
>>18892400
>>18892488
>>18892569

>AHHAHAHAHA!

>Oh god, I can already imagine the reactions when this shit comes out.

>>18892553

Introduce the team

>>18892553
Introduce your team.

There are times and places to ask Laurie about this sort of thing, in front of a pile of strangers is not one of them.

>>18892553
[X] Introduce your team.
Try to make sure Mooch and Jesse get to brainstorming on an anime that involves genderswapped Tesla and Edison fighting the Cthulhu Mythos as Sufficiently Advanced Technology Girls.

>>18892553
[x]Ask Laurie why he's trying to hide.

Also: Lovecraft Animu? Check out Haiyore! Nyarlko-san. It is ridiculous and I love it. I need more.

Unless you already know about it.

>>18892553
[X] Introduce.

>>18892595

>Someone already bastardized Lovecraft for a magical girl show? Somehow I am less than surprised, though I remain disappointed.

>>18892578
SEE THESE POSTS


STOP THEM

>>18892584

>Note to self: Make terrible Anime based on that premise.

>>18892608
Shit I thought you were referencing that.

From what I hear it is pretty good with the mythos, doesn't take itself seriously, and could be a lot worse.

>>18892612

>Sorry, I can't help myself sometimes. It's just funny as hell to me to see /tg/ consistently get a mountain of clues and put it all together wrong.

>Or put it all together RIGHT and STILL get the wrong answer.

>>18892634

I think we have sufficient votes for introduction.

>>18892578
I'm probably wrong as to the specifics, but somehow I'm getting a very "Life on Mars" feel all of a sudden. We aren't in a coma/in limbo after the explosion, are we?

>>18892608
It's not exactly magical girl, moar alien-gods use earth for entertainment. By which I mean they limit exports of earth culture to hike up the prices, and there's a plot to use the male main character in yaoi, and Nyarlathotep has to protect him. As a teenage girl, that's fallen in love with him.

Apparently Hastur shows up as a trap, at some point.

>>18892608
Not so much magical girl as harem comedy. The various Mythos Gods are actually alien species, to some extent.

Also, Lovecraft's stuff exists in universe. I seem to recall hearing somewhere that the title character, Nyarlko, was the daughter of the Nyarlathotep the Lovecraft knew.

>>18892646
I just realized what you are talking about and now I think I need to strangle Mooch...he doesnt need ot breathe.

>>18892646
Next episode, it looks like.

>>18892608
Also, it is hilarious.

>>18892659

>Actually, Mooch had nothing to do with this.

>I totally just came up with this shit off the top of my head, and am coming to the horrible realization that I live in a world where it would probably sell.

>>18892642

>Yeah, I just had to go AFK for a second there. I'm getting started on it now.

>>18892659
I... I referred to it by name in my prior post.

>>18892716
He introduced it to me a long time ago I didn't realizze they were the same thing until just now.

>>18892634
>>18892578
Okay, fair warning: I can't speak for the others, but the more you pull this smug "I know something you don't know" routine, the more inclined I get to derail this with JOKER-persona responses just to deny you the satisfaction. If there's something about the character we're supposed to be playing that we need to know, then we need to know everything he knows. If it's in Alex's memories, and it's relevant, hiding isn't clever, just irritating. If it's something he doesn't know himself, that's obviously another story, but at least have the decency not to mock us for it.

>>18892728
Ah, fair enough, then. They're doing a new animu run for the current season, if you weren't aware.

You take a moment to introduce the teams to each other.

You see Steve's gaze linger on Ari when you introduce her just long enough for you to mention that she's your sister. Then his looks flashes to a mix of disappointment and panic, before settling into an elaborate disinterest.

After the round of introductions, Dervish signals over a waitress and she takes your orders. Her gaze keeps flicking back to Laurie like she's trying to remember him from somewhere.

[ ] Drink freely. Not your tab.
[ ] Drink carefully. You can't afford more than a light buzz right now.
[ ] Don't drink alcohol, someone needs to keep a clear head.
[ ] Ask Laurie why he's acting so nervous.

>>18892793
[X] Carefully.

Also,
[X] Ask Laurie why he's so nervous.

IF YOU GIVE ME SOME SHIT ABOUT HOW I CAN'T ACT AND SPEAK SIMULTANEOUSLY

>>18892793
[X] Drink carefully. You can't afford more than a light buzz right now.

If doing multiple suggestions thing didn't drive you into a rage I'd advocate raising a questioning eyebrow at Laurie.

>>18892793
If we can get him somewhere private
[x] Ask Laurie
Otherwise
[x] Drink Carefully.

It's an If-then, not picking multiples.

Please don't hurt me, AC-Guy.

[ ] Drink carefully. You can't afford more than a light buzz right now.

maybe he banged the waitress and feels guilty cause of that hospital girl?

>>18892793
Drink carefully

>>18892763

>Memory related stuff I just bring up when it's relevant. This is mostly stuff that you as PLAYERS might know about, and Alex has seen a hint or two about it. There have been hints, but not enough to spell it out. I just find the fact that you guys haven't put it together yet amusing, mainly because the people I normally play with are like fucking RAIN MAN on this shit.

>I'm sorry if I come of as smug, I'll try and tone it down a bit.

>On the other hand, sudden villainous laughter is a great way to cause player panic, even if it has nothing to do with the situation.

>>18892793
[x]Careful, for now.

>>18892824
Possible, but unless she pulls pretty boys like him nightly, that would be a pretty certain memory. More likely this was one of his bars from the recent binge.

Actually... Is this the same bar he fought the bikers in before? It was a big enough scene that she'd remember, but if she didn't really see his face then, she might not make the connection immediately.

>>18892842
>That feel when 'roll spot' '19' 'You don't see anything out of the ordinary'

>>18892793
[x] Drink carefully. You can't afford more than a light buzz right now.

>>18892842
Yeah, that's fair. You're right about the evil laugh, and I'm sorry if I come of as pissy about it or anything. This whole sense that you already know how our story is going to end no matter what we pick just bugs me a bit. Nothing is set in stone until it's already happened, and while I've set up the Big Reveal in much the same way that you have when I've DMed, it just feels like you're telling us our choices don't matter. I'm not saying our choice of which exactly tool we castrate Dave with if he hurts our sister should make a difference in the long run, but it's good form to at least provide the players with the ILLUSION that their fate can be changed by their actions.

You opt to go with a regular pale ale, avoiding the heavy stuff.

You look at Laurie and clear your throat as the waitress starts to walk away. "There a reason you're acting so nervous?"

"Not really...." He says. As he does, the waitress freezes.

"THAT'S where I know this guy from. HEY CHUCK!" the bartender looks your way. "This is the guy from the other day, right?"

The bartender looks your way and laughs "Indeed it is! Thanks Laura." He then proceeds to jump the bar and mosey on over to the table. Lawrence seems to quietly calculating the best route out of here. "So." Chuck begins. "Quite a scene you caused last time you were in here."

"They started it."

"Indeed they did. I just wanted to come over here to thank you for that. Apparently with those thugs in the hospital, their friends have decided not to come back. And now we have something resembling a respectable clientele now that they're gone."

Dervish looks over at Laurie surprised "You put some dude in the hospital?"

"Ten dudes actually." Corrects Chuck. "Big mean greasy biker types who never tipped and walked around like they owned the place. Glad to be rid of them."

"So wait," Laurie says. "You aren't going to throw me out?"

"Hell no. Far as I'm concerned, you drink for free. I'd offer the same to your friends, but I'm not sure I could afford it with a popular guy like you." He says as he looks at the party assembled around the table. As he heads back to man the bar, while the waitress gets your drinks, you hear Laurie mumbles something about choosing a bad time to try and go clean.

[ ] Talk. (About what? And with who?)
[ ] Other.

>>18892921

>Oh, no. You guys get control over a LOT.

>I'm looking at/talking about something else entirely.

>>18892971
Talk with Dervish, ask about what he thinks we can expect in the next couple rounds of the tournament, if he thinks we'll run into anyone as risky a fight as him.

>>18892971
Talk to LAURIE about FIGHTING TEN DUDES

>>18892971
Hah, thought this was that bar.

>Wat do?
No idea. >>18892993 seems decent, though.

>>18892842
As a collective, /tg/ tends to be bad at noticing things until it is just a step too late. Usually the case, that is. Otherwise we just sort of bumble our way through stuff, or crash depending on who you ask.

>>18892842

Just gonna say, don't baby us but realize that things that happen on /tg/ are easy to miss or interpret wrongly. In person these things are alot easier to catch, but here we will miss them nine times out of ten. Just so you know.

>>18892993
I endorse this idea. Anybody with a core like Dervish's has been around the block; he'll likely know who the big hitters are on the circuit, and some input might be valuable.

>>18892993
Seconding this.
We're a dark horse contender, and the further we go, the more excitement we'll generate, and the bigger the house winnings, which means the bigger the cut of the profits that Dervish and his team stand to get from the house.

Thirding or otherwise voting the Dervish idea.

Just to check: We ARE the real Alex, right? There's no question that we're experiencing reality? That is to say, we don't have amnesia and we're not an imposter? Perhaps most importantly, considering the whole "9-Ball may or may not be our father" thing, combined with 9-Ball's big secret identity from the first set of AC games: Are we an AI with implanted memories? Hell, just look at our name: Alex Raston. AR. Artificial Reality? I'm probably just being paranoid here, but I'm starting to get suspicious.

>>18893171
Who knows!

Other than AC Guy, of course.

Is it RANDOM MASS GUESSING time?

>>18893171

Didn't we pick the name Alex Raston?

You start with Dervish.

"Eh. Hard to say. Depends on what you mean by 'risky'. Is there other aces insane load-outs like mine? Probably not. I can barely fly that thing, and I have a synch pushing 80. But most of the people willing to buy into this thing would be confident in their ability to compete. Basically expect everyone to be as good as you, minimum. Surprised you paid the entry fee without knowing more."

"We... didn't. Our fee was waved."

"Really? Now THAT'S interesting. Who sponsored you?"

"Sponsored?"

He gives you a look and then takes another drink. "You want I can take a look over the other guys and try and put together some basic Dossiers for when you go up against them, give you a vague clue as to what you're in for."

>Accept?

>>18893197
It might well be.

>>18893180
Which is why I'm asking. The timing of the gloats all but screams that the BIG SECRET has to do with either Alex's identity or his sanity in some way. If we've seen the pieces of the puzzle but haven't figured out the shape yet, it's time to shake the box until the jigsaw gets recognizable.

>>18893222
Sure. Also: WORRY

>>18893216
Huh, I just checked, and it seems we did. Forgot about that, but that part was just something that occurred to me as I was typing. The 9-Ball connection is still there, and that's what initially set my suspicions off. The question remains.

>>18893222
Well we sure walked right into whatever crazy setup this tourney is.

May as well take the free info.

>>18893222
Yes, dossiers are always nice, preparation is the first step to winning. Thank you.

Talk to the rest of Dervish's team, we should try to get a handle on them, talk giant robots with them, all AC pilots like talking about giant robots.

Don't get between Mooch and Jesse, the insanity might be too much for our mind to handle.

"Sure. You aren't gonna charge right?"

"Nope. Not sure how amazing they'll be, but I'll try and throw something your way."

>Who talk, an about what?

>>18893307
Laurie and barfights

>>18893307
"So, Laurie, you took on 10 guys at once, huh?"

Hopefully that's only slightly suicidal.

>>18893307
Talk to Steve and Tony, get to know them. Talk about the Wolf Pack and ACs.

>>18893329
If you really want piss him off, try taking the "on" out of there. NOTE: Not suggesting that! He's on the edge about that shit as-is, even after rescuing Egg.

>>18893359
Yeah, definitely not. Just a little light teasing is the goal.

Potential Sponsors (?):
>Big guy who hits on Laurie (don't remember his name)
>Josh?
>Nineball himself

>>18893396
>Big guy who hits on Laurie (don't remember his name)
Fraide, I believe it is. I'd lean towards Josh/Nineball/Mysterious Hacker Antagonist.

"So Laurie, took ten guys at once eh?" You take a sip of your drink as the waitress hands it to you, then add thoughtfully "That sounded different in my head."

"It damn well better have."

"So, trying to dodge the question?"

"Looked so good on you, I had to try it on myself."

"Nicely played."

"Thank you."

"Now stop dodging."

He sighs. "I was here to get drunk, having a bad time. Then some fuckers started to gang up on me and say JUST the right things to make me go ballistic. I guess seeing some bullies trying to jump the little guy just brings out the asshole in me."

"So how'd it go down?"

"First guy I put down with a chair to the face, then I kicked his buddy in the nuts so hard I think I felt a 'pop'. Third guy took a swing at me, so I stepped outside his swing and used it as leverage to dislocate his arm and pop out his knee. Then I got my hands on a pool cue and things get kinda blurry until the cops showed up and told me to drop it."

"And you didn't even get hurt?"

"Chipped a tooth. Doctor said it was a pretty minor break though, so it's not a big deal. Didn't even know it was there until he pointed it out."

Everyone kinda half listens to the story. You see Dervish give a half-respectful salute with his glass.

>Who talk?

>>18893411
>Pool cue

They really shouldn't have those in bars. They are far too effective a weapon to keep around the inebriated.

>>18893396
You're thinking too positively. 9-Ball was my first thought too, but it could just as easily be Mooch's dad, or any number of other yet-unnamed nasty-types who want to get a measure of our abilities. Might even be those creepy "body-hopper/changeling" voices from the first post (assuming neither one is posing as Alex, unknown even to the players).

>>18893411
Talk to Steve and Tony, get to know them. Talk about the Wolf Pack, ACs and their time in Vegas, see if they have any good tips for getting yourself established.

>>18893424

>But then how would they play pool? With their massive erect dicks?

>I tired that once. You can't play it with a girl, and it's awkward as hell playing it with other guys, since they're either having trouble keeping it up, or having creepily little trouble with it.

>>18893424
too be fair, just about anything harder and/or heavier than a fist is an effective weapon in drunken human hands.

>>18893424
Hell, that's nothing. Time was they had marksmanship contests in UK bars. Drunks firing live ammo over the heads of equally-drunk patrons. It was eventually stopped, not because people died, but because people were gambling on it, and we all know how EBIL betting is.

They also tried to put breathalyzers in bars to curb DUIs here in the US. Rather predictably, that turned into a high-blow contest the first damn night. After a few too many people died of alcohol poisoning, they stopped installing them.

>So uh, Who talk?

>>18893442
lend the girl your cock?

>>18893442
And if you can't see a girl's ass as she bends over to take a shot, or put your arms around her to teach her how to play, what's the point of bar pool?

>>18893522

>Acting drunk and hustling chump for money so you can buy D&D rules books, avoiding the bar so they don't spot your fake ID.

>Then again, that might've just been me.

>>18893514
>>18893437 seems good as anything else?

Or perhaps Mooch about his mad anime ideas.

And, I must be off for the night.

talk to you team about the fee thing?

>>18893631
We should probably converse about the fee with the others. Doesn't sound like something that happens often.

You turn to Dervish's co-pilots "So, Wolf Pack?"

"Yep. Six months For me, Tony for almost seven."

"Why the difference?"

"Failed the entry test the first time around. Stealth mission, got spotted less than ten feet before crossing the goal-line."

"That's rough."

"Yeah. So what else did you want to know?"

"Well for one, is Dervish the only Ace?"

"TECHNICALLY. Wolf Pack doesn't count unit kills, only individual. So since he scored 90% of the kills while we flew support, He got all the credit. Even though it was a team effort. We're both pretty close though. Since I took out your friend in the Arena, Tony and I both are only one technical kill from earning the patch."

"Cool. Things going well for you other than your humiliating defeat and the whole 'unappreciated' thing?"

"Pretty good, considering we've only been here about a month. Digging the corporate work, most of the time they just hire some Ravens to chill 'just in case'. Nice easy job that pays a hilarious amount of money."

"So you guys don't have any great advice for getting established since you're as new to the area as us?"

"Honestly? Do what you're doing. You kicked our ass, so you must be doing something right."

>Who talk?

We have successfully left Mooch at a table with himself, and we arnt stopping them.

Im amazed half the bar isnt on fire and the other half isnt filled with disco bots.

>>18893720

>Currently they're still plotting terrible things.

>They haven't actually started anything yet.

>>18893732
QUICK STOP ME AND MYSELF!
BEFORE BAD THINGS HAPPEN.

>>18893706
About that fee... That isn't quite normal, is it?

do you guys need some low rolls? cause i got some low rolls.

>>18893759
We definitely should ask about this. Seems like something sinister is afoot.

>>18893706
Mooch and his doppelgänger.

Now im out do reals

>So we have a tie vote between Mooch and the fee.

>You want to talk it out or roll for it?

>>18893831
I'd say fee, whatever Mooch is up to will only be funnier if we don't know exactly is coming.

rolled 81 = 81

>>18893831
fee

>>18893831
We always go for Mooch and his shenanigans and end up missing stuff that might end up being really important. Then entire thing with Lawrence is a perfect example of that.

Let Mooch have his fun, let's find out what the hell is going on with the fee. This could be a warning sign of some very bad shit coming our way.

Remember, we were warned that we wouldn't be the first accidental death in the arena.

"So uh, exactly how weird is it for somebody like us to not have to pay an entry fee?"

"Pretty damn weird." Dervish points out. "Occasionally somebody with a big name gets a free pass. Like Nine-Ball? They just sorta let him in and don't charge a dime since he's the champion. Sometimes somebody big like that Strayed guy who used to rock it, or Josh O'Brien will have somebody offer to pay their entry just to spice up the competition, or someone gets offered entry fee in exchange for a cut of the earnings. But just getting the fee disappeared and then silence? THAT'S weird."

"Think maybe they heard about Hope and wanted to help or something?" Dave suggests.

"You're from Hope? Maybe, but it still seems a bit weird. I mean, why not let you know who it was and go 'hey look, I'm a philanthropist!'?"

Weird. At this point Steve and Dave appear to have gotten into some sort of argument and settled it on a wager, before walking out to the bar and approaching women.

Mooch and Jesse appear to be sketching out something on a napkin and talking excitedly. Either should be good for entertainment.

[ ] Watch Dave.
[ ] Watch Mooch.

>>18893925
LOOK MA.
FOUR HANDS!

>>18893925
Watch Dave, I want to see what they're trying to prove and/or watch them crash and burn.

>>18893961

>So we're going with this then? No dissenting votes?

>Man, this has slowed down a lot. I think I'm gonna end this for tonight after the next post or two.

>>18894002
Guess so

You look to Ari who seems to be the only one who noticed what they were talking about.

"Skirt chasing. Got to fighting as to which one is better. Apparently each 'round' has a different theme. Like having to use only poetry or something."

"And your fine with this?"

"Told him that it was fine as long as he was just screwing around and not 'screwing around'." As you take a sip of your beer she adds "Or brought them home to share."

You cough "Goddammit Ari, Alcohol BURNS out the nose."

You begin to watch.

ROUND 1: PROFESSIONS:

Steve approaches a pair of attractive women. "Hey there ladies."

"Who are you?"

"An Ace core pilot. Mind if I buy you something to drink?"

"Think you can really handle two of us hotshot?"

"I like going for two. Getting less than my usual number means I can focus on them more."

Then Dave sits at the other end of the bar. "Or you could go with me."

"And who are you?" One of the ladies ask.

"A Doctor." He says the word almost like he's telling a dirty secret. The women seem to slide over to him like they were pulled in by gravity.

"OH COME ON!" Steve yells exasperated.

>>18894059
That one really just wasn't fair. I mean seriously. If he wanted to rub it in he could say he is a doctor, child prodigy, AC pilot and I wouldn't be surprised if he was a concert pianist as well.

>>18894059
Not entirely sure, but the last time I checked pulling the doctor card was considered cheating when your rival has no matching card.

>>18894081
The other guy did try to use Ace pilot which in most areas is considered a free win. He did not expect the sudden turnaround.

Given Steve's choice of tactic I officially conclude that pulling the Doctor card while not sporting is technically allowed.

>>18894095
Seems to be plenty of Ace's here to me.

>>18894100
True, but it's also Vegas which means women are inordinately attracted to men based solely on having a cool profession which cancels out the negative effects from having a lot of Aces. In addition Dave did not initiate with Doctor, he played it as a counter which falls under the rules.

While you may not be allowed to start with a card such as Doctor, Brain Surgeon, Rocket Scientist, and instead must play it humble and not play it up. If it is in response to someone who plays a high value card and is showing it off a counter that shuts them down is perfectly legitimate.

I really just want to know what the next few rounds are.

>>18894059

ROUND 2, MY FRIEND'S PROFESSION:

The two of them approach an attractive lady. After a moment of talking, she asks Dave what he does for a living. As per the rules of the game, Steve answers for him. "Oh he works in a women's shelter. According to him a good night of tender loving does more good than any amount of therapy." Disgusted, the woman walks away.

Dave get's his revenge shortly. "Oh my friend here? He runs a hard-core bestiality porn studio. 'Kibbles and Tits'."

"Yeah, I'm just going to not even try this one."

ROUND 3, CHEESY PICK UP LINES:

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

"Looking at you, I think heaven's missing an Angel."

ROUND 4, DELIBERATELY FUCK UP THE CHEESY PICK UP LINE:

"If I said you had a beautiful boy, would that be enough to get you naked?"

"You know, I think a greater being had to have made you. Because no WAY are those tits natural."

ROUND 5, KARAOKE MACHINE.

Steve: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KUJE2xs-RE

Dave: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhtIydTmOVU

>>18894111
I wonder what ever happened to attracting a woman with your wits and charms
>>18894124
Oh god damnit Steve and dave.

>>18894127
It's still there, you just aren't likely to find much call for it at a dive bar in Vegas, just not the right setting.

>>18894124
So who won?

>>18894134
I guess I just love the idea of the challenge.

>>18894124
this is the greatest thing, I'm ding here.

>>18894124

ROUND 6, FUCK UP AS HARD AS POSSIBLE:

"So I'm only TECHNICALLY a registered sex offender."

"Actually both Syphilis and Gonorrhea. But I'm pretty sure they cancel each other out."

ROUND 7, ABANDON THE COMFORT ZONE:

"Tell me lady, you braze enough to go for a ride on the Devil's tricycle?"

"Because we have a nice studio to film it in."

Eventually, they come back to the table laughing their asses off.

"So wait, were ether of you even TRYING?"

"Not really," Steve answers. "I mean he's got somebody and I have enough money to literally carpet a room with high class prostitutes. Seriously, I did it once just to see if I could swing it."

"So what exactly did that prove?" You ask, vaguely exasperated.

"That this man has some Cojones." Dave answers, before pointing dramatically at the other man. "I like your moves."

"I like you style." Steve responds with an equally dramatic gesture.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Mooch and Jesse shake hands over something, and Mooch says that they can work out the details tomorrow over the phone. For some reason, this fills you with dread. Then Mooch gets a call.

>>18894194

>Forgot, give me a d20 roll.

rolled 10 = 10

>>18894200
This is going to be bad.

>>18894206
Well at least its not 'that' bad.

rolled 17 = 17

rollan

>>18894206

After a minute he hangs up. "We've got a couple of hours before our next match. Apparently the Tunnel Snakes won their match and did so without taking too much damage. We leave now we should have enough time to get sober and finish repairs before we have to meet up with them."

You exchange goodbyes with Mo Betta, and give them your hangar's address in case they want to stop by.

>NEXT TIME ON AC-QUEST: TUNNEL SNAKES RULE!

rolled 18 = 18

>>18894194

>>18894248
Aww yeah we get an excusse to trash those gits.

>I have a bit of time for the after-thread if you guys have any questions or whatever.

>>18894248
Tunnel Snakes Rule.

We might have to sub Mooch in for Dave at this point due to Dave not having legs. While he might be able to still fight like that, it'd be a bit too humiliating to the Tunnel Snakes if a legless AC killed them all with a knife.

>>18894248
...does the real Dave act like, er, what we just saw? Because there's no way you made those all up on your own.

(Although I may be vaguely remembering some of these from that webcomic Least I Could Do. I think. It's been a long night.)

>>18894271

>I got the idea for the montage from there. But a Swag off is something the real Dave has engaged in, in real life. I was there for a few.

>Actually, I went head to head with him in one, but since I gave no fucks it quickly turned into a contest to out-troll each other.

>While he could probably hook a woman better than me, no man has yet been born who can out-troll me when I set my mind to it. I have no shame, only a competitive edge and a brilliant mind wasted on the art of fucking with people.

>>18894259
Wait just to double check they are the guys who tried to knife us when we told them to lay off Cassie right?

>>18894306

>You don't know. You did however note the similarity in names and question it before though.

>>18894311
Well just to be sure I vote we trash them aas messily as possible.

AC-guy why can I not tear myself away from your quests.

You've even gotten me to pull my PS2 out of storage and start playing the entire AC3 series all over again.

You JERK.